NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, here's a random question for you all... about bullying. Is it serious? Are US schools doing anything effective about it?

My answers: It's very serious. I was bullied from ages seven to twelve. I moved to small-town North Carolina and was bullied as soon as I moved in. I've always been a bit shy, but apparently I wasn't social enough for the Duck Ridge kids. My sister made friends instantly. It took me six years to get more than one real friend because of the bullying. In elementary school I hung around the anti-tattletales and was bullied as a result and became extremely shy. I was the first girl in my third-grade year to have a bra and acne, which made me even more insecure. The shyness eased up toward the end of the year, but by fourth grade I was even more shy and bullied more because I had ADD. In fifth grade I was the smartest girl in my class-- there were 3 boys ahead of me and one right behind me (we've been really good friends since then :)) but the bullying became even worse. People were constantly talkign about me and I was excluded from the girls' table. The cliques got so bad that my teacher assigned seats and I got stuck with the other smart kids :). In sixth grade I was no longer the smartest one and that's the first year I've ever came close to actually failing a class. I was constantly made fun of for my acne and because I was shy. People stole from me, stealing my report cards on the bus, constantly harassing me because of my acne. In seventh grade the teacher favoritism began and I never made sports teams in seventh or eighth grade simply because I wasn't the favorite (which is why the middle school's teams always sucked major arse, favoritism) It completely killed my motivation. I started thinking I was ugly and tiny and just worthless, not good enough. I never got anything done in middle school, until eighth grade.

Now I'm in ninth grade, and look at me now. I'm much better, but I'm still shy and still have low self-esteem. I have much more confidence, but I still want to smite all the teachers and students who made middle school miserable for me. I want to move to a different neighborhood... still. One of my stories is about a girl who is bullied. And I know what you guys are going to say... "You should have told someone..." NOBODY WOULD FREAKING LISTEN! Speaking up is only effective if SOMEBODY ACTUALLY FREAKING LISTENS!

Oh, and this little tidbit from Scholastic: (http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4099)
Only boys are bullies.
False. Most bullies are boys, but girls can also be bullies

BULL CRAP. Most bullies are GIRLS, retards! UGH! IDIOTS! It's people who are so woefully ignorant about preteens that make me daydream about lightning hitting my old middle school! :mad:

public schools would be greatly improved by enforicng a no-bullying policy.

school shouldnt be hell.

1. Don't act like no one else gets bullied.

2. I've been through it too, I know what it's like. I was the first boy in my school to start puberty, and it sucked. But my imagination keeps me from acting out. My imagination is a wonderful place.

[snip]bullies are both male and female, the bullying is just... different.


:fluffle:


From one school survivor to one going through the experiences.

Elementary school wasn't any problem for me, of course everyone was naive about how different we really were. However, in middle school people start to notice that I "look" different. That was when the bullying started. At first it started with just name calling and teasing. However, as time went on it got worse. I've gotten beaten up once or twice, and had to go to court etc. High school wasn't any different either. I was a smart kid, but I didn't really care about my school works, I was more concern about who was going to beat me up/steal/lie/cheat/discriminate against me today. Now I am anti-social and only associate with a few close friends.

1. Don't act like no one else gets bullied.

2. I've been through it too, I know what it's like. I was the first boy in my school to start puberty, and it sucked. But my imagination keeps me from acting out. My imagination is a wonderful place.

My imagination was a bit dark, I actually thought about striking back and hurting the people who hurt me, and sometimes worse.

My imagination was a bit dark, I actually thought about striking back and hurting the people who hurt me, and sometimes worse.

That's the point. Imagine you're Carrie, or something. Imagine you going all out with psychic powers and mutilating them and stuff. It takes the anger away.

That's the point. Imagine you're Carrie, or something. Imagine you going all out with psychic powers and mutilating them and stuff. It takes the anger away.

Think more along the lines of columbine my friend.

bullies are both male and female, the bullying is just... different.


:fluffle:


From one school survivor to one going through the experiences.

I second and endorse this post and any and all fluffles contained therein.

Wait wait wait. You're a girl? Oh, just fuck it. From now on, I'm not going to even bother wondering what sex some of you posters are. :p

As for bullying, I got plenty of it when I was in public school (Pre-Kindergarten to the end of the 3rd grade)... By teachers, mostly. They liked to single me out and pick on me because I looked different from everyone else (significantly different), and because I spoke like an adult (I always have).

My first teacher insulted me several times in front of the entire class. The last time she did it, I got about six inches from her face and called her an asshole (in a very loud, pissed off voice). She was very shocked that a four-year-old could build up the courage to do such a thing, and needless to say, she didn't treat me like shit after that.

In Kindergarten, I had two teachers: Ms. Cook and Ms. Bells. Now, Ms. Cook was very nice and an exceptionally capable teacher --- Ms. Bells had serious mental problems, and wasn't fit for teaching in the least. My Kindergarten experience was great, aside from the times when Ms. Bells would have her psychotic episodes.

I had two 1st grade teachers: In Port Aransas for the first half of the year, it was Ms. Goodson, who was on the same level as Ms. Cook. For the second half of the year in my current town, it was Ms. Sinclair... Who was good, though she had some problems. She was prone to giving into hearsay, so I had to write my name in the book (odd form of punishment) for a lot of things that I didn't do.

My 2nd grade experience was shitty. My teacher was Ms. Schuman, the evil, awkwardly tall daughter of two German immigrants. She obviously didn't like the way I looked or talked, because I got ignored a lot when I would raise my hand and/or call on her for help (it got to the point where I had to clear my throat and snap my fingers to get her attention). Along with that, when other kids would mess with my hair and poke me, she'd punish me for telling them to stop, and not doing a damn thing to them for what they did. Her abuse finally got to the point where she threatened me several times... I told my dad and the Vice Principle about it, and Ms. Schuman almost lost her job. Said teaching job was hanging by a very thin thread, since after her ordeal with the faculty, she was very depressed and untalkative during class. At least I got justice on that one.

As for the 3rd grade, my first teacher was Ms. Moon. At first, she seemed to be the best teacher ever. But, after about two weeks, things started to slide... Badly. My desk, which was never a problem (not even with Ms. Schuman), became a huge problem with her, as it was pretty messy inside. I always got everything I needed in time for paperwork, but no, since it was messy, I was a terrible student, and required the help of a guidance counselor (:rolleyes:)! Along with that, she started passively punishing students who worked slower than others. She did this by placing a ten minute time limit on all paperwork (and believe me --- ten minutes is NOT long enough to read a full chapter of a book and do a summary). I didn't go along with her bullshit, and that really steamed her. So one day, she took me out into the hallway and (gasp!) threatened me! Of course, I went to the faculty with my dad, and they said that Ms. Moon had this problem for many, many years... They couldn't tell her to lay off, no matter how hard they tried, so they just transferred me to another class. After about a month of her tripe, I was gone.

My second 3rd grade teacher was Ms. Williamson. She wasn't bad at all, but she was a bit of an airhead. I have no complaints about her, aside from a few moments of indifference and the inability to average students' grades properly.

My third 3rd grade teacher, which was in Port Isabel (I lived on South Padre Island), would be my final public school teacher. She was Ms. Cramer, and she was the absolute worst of the lot. Take Ms. Schuman and Ms. Moon, multiply by two, and then add a little sourness on top, and you have her. I honestly think that she went insane from all the years of teaching crappy students. What she did to me, along with many other classmates, I won't exactly divulge, because it's pretty nasty.


As for other kids being bullies? Well, I only knew of one bully the entire time I went to school, and I only had a run-in with him once. He tripped me as I was running to the playground when I was in the 1st grade at Port Aransas... He and his friends laughed; I looked back at him shrugged, and continued on my way.

There were other kids who did shitty things to me, but they were hardly bullies. But, that's all behind me now. What happened happened... There's no changing that. I've moved on in my life, and I hope that by the time you graduate high school, you will, too.

Don't let your memories of school days control your life. There's so much more with which you can occupy yourself, and so much more you can accomplish if you just shrug it off and roll along at your own pace. I stopped letting my memories of school bring me down years ago... And I'm a much happier person than I was then.

My public schooling experience was GHASTLY. I hated every moment of it. Alright, maybe not every moment, but most of the freaking moments. Public Schooling is broken. The basic result is: Conform or Die. Students, Teachers & Administrators all conspire to marginalize the children who are exceptional or subpar, whose interests and activities aren't the "norm". Not athletic? Slit your wrists now. Physically ahead or behind your classmates? Kiss your dignity, self-esteem and mental stability good-bye.

I don't know if your state has a dual-enrollment policy, but if so you have the ability to take college classes while you are in high school. Thank the powers that be that my parents suggested (after broken ribsx2, broken nose and countless black eyes and less serious injuries - with nothing done by the administrators because apparently gay kids deserve that kind of treatment) that I drop out of high school, they filled out the paperwork for me to be homeschooled and I began college full-time after ninth grade.

If you're able you'll be way ahead of the kids your age. You sound intelligent so college classes at a community college shouldn't be too much of a challenge, but the ability to indulge in healthy social interactions with intelligent, experience older persons is priceless.

High school is not real, it's horseshit, and the popular kids usually end up drug addicts and whores because bullying and young bodies only last so long.

Succor,
J.

Imagine the violent playground bully as a hawk.

Now imagine the victim as a crow.

In nature, when the hawk pisses off the crows, they gang up and beat the shit out of him.

Thus it is in the world of nature, and we may all learn from the lesson(s) of Earth.

I think I was going somewhere really profound with this, but I'll pretend the above has some deep spiritual meaning instead of being a half-assed attempt to talk about crow battle tactics, which are really cool.

...the ability to indulge in healthy social interactions with intelligent, experience older persons is priceless.

High school is not real, it's horseshit, and the popular kids usually end up drug addicts and whores because bullying and young bodies only last so long.

Exactly. This is why you deserve a box full of special cookies.

*hands*

Yeah, I know that it's ironic, given your statement about drugs... But come on, it's just baked-in marijuana goodness! How could that possibly be wrong!?

My father used to beat me with an iron bar from the coffee table when I used to go to Catholic school. As a result, I bullied some kids...then I moved to Jersey. The majority of kids were alright, but some of the assholes here were...really assholes. So, yeah. I've bullied, been bullied, and now in my high school bullying really doesn't exist in as many pockets as in the Middle School. Most of the dumb idiots are kept in line by the upperclassmen (a sort of indirect "policing" of the school.) And the really, really dumb idiots got themselves arrested (Courtesy of robbing QuickShops with a gun for a pack of ciggarettes).

All in all, bullying is a serious problem, but if you can manage to pull through with some good friends, the problem eventually dies down. Bullying still takes place here, but they're isolated incidends that occur once a year or so.

(That and an armed member of the Bergenfield PD patrolling the Middle School keeps the mayhem at bay)

My father used to beat me with an iron bar from the coffee table when I used to go to Catholic school. As a result, I bullied some kids...then I moved to Jersey. The majority of kids were alright, but some of the assholes here were...really assholes. So, yeah. I've bullied, been bullied, and now in my high school bullying really doesn't exist in as many pockets as in the Middle School. Most of the dumb idiots are kept in line by the upperclassmen (a sort of indirect "policing" of the school.) And the really, really dumb idiots got themselves arrested (Courtesy of robbing QuickShops with a gun for a pack of ciggarettes).

All in all, bullying is a serious problem, but if you can manage to pull through with some good friends, the problem eventually dies down. Bullying still takes place here, but they're isolated incidends that occur once a year or so.

(That and an armed member of the Bergenfield PD patrolling the Middle School keeps the mayhem at bay)

Your dad beat you with a fucking iron rod in that era? He should've been jailed for that, because beating children has been illegal since the late 1970's.

Dude, hit him back!

Dude, hit him back!

With the Iron bar! Dude, that must have hurt I really do feel sorry for you.

Yes, bullying's a problem. Trouble is, a lot of people are trying to answer this and other problems through insulation. Instead of removing every problem in a child's path, and diffusing every chance of disagreement, we should be preparing them to deal with bullies and arguments. Nothing builds confidence like solving problems on one's own (even if there's a little help).

Actually the iron bar is in the middle of the intensity list. My mom is too submissive to take it up with the police. And when I finally found out about reporting these things to the New Jersey Department of Human Services, he had pretty much realized that I was smart enough to get him arrested.

I did take it up eventually, but since all the physical wounds had healed, there was no evidence. My mom refused to testify, and the state eventually just thought that I was lying.

His ass is out of the house by Christmas though, he's moving in with some Chinese lady with two illigitimate children.

Wait wait wait. You're a girl? Oh, just fuck it. From now on, I'm not going to even bother wondering what sex some of you posters are. :p

As for bullying, I got plenty of it when I was in public school (Pre-Kindergarten to the end of the 3rd grade)... By teachers, mostly. They liked to single me out and pick on me because I looked different from everyone else (significantly different), and because I spoke like an adult (I always have).

My first teacher insulted me several times in front of the entire class. The last time she did it, I got about six inches from her face and called her an asshole (in a very loud, pissed off voice). She was very shocked that a four-year-old could build up the courage to do such a thing, and needless to say, she didn't treat me like shit after that.

In Kindergarten, I had two teachers: Ms. Cook and Ms. Bells. Now, Ms. Cook was very nice and an exceptionally capable teacher --- Ms. Bells had serious mental problems, and wasn't fit for teaching in the least. My Kindergarten experience was great, aside from the times when Ms. Bells would have her psychotic episodes.

I had two 1st grade teachers: In Port Aransas for the first half of the year, it was Ms. Goodson, who was on the same level as Ms. Cook. For the second half of the year in my current town, it was Ms. Sinclair... Who was good, though she had some problems. She was prone to giving into hearsay, so I had to write my name in the book (odd form of punishment) for a lot of things that I didn't do.

My 2nd grade experience was shitty. My teacher was Ms. Schuman, the evil, awkwardly tall daughter of two German immigrants. She obviously didn't like the way I looked or talked, because I got ignored a lot when I would raise my hand and/or call on her for help (it got to the point where I had to clear my throat and snap my fingers to get her attention). Along with that, when other kids would mess with my hair and poke me, she'd punish me for telling them to stop, and not doing a damn thing to them for what they did. Her abuse finally got to the point where she threatened me several times... I told my dad and the Vice Principle about it, and Ms. Schuman almost lost her job. Said teaching job was hanging by a very thin thread, since after her ordeal with the faculty, she was very depressed and untalkative during class. At least I got justice on that one.

As for the 3rd grade, my first teacher was Ms. Moon. At first, she seemed to be the best teacher ever. But, after about two weeks, things started to slide... Badly. My desk, which was never a problem (not even with Ms. Schuman), became a huge problem with her, as it was pretty messy inside. I always got everything I needed in time for paperwork, but no, since it was messy, I was a terrible student, and required the help of a guidance counselor (:rolleyes:)! Along with that, she started passively punishing students who worked slower than others. She did this by placing a ten minute time limit on all paperwork (and believe me --- ten minutes is NOT long enough to read a full chapter of a book and do a summary). I didn't go along with her bullshit, and that really steamed her. So one day, she took me out into the hallway and (gasp!) threatened me! Of course, I went to the faculty with my dad, and they said that Ms. Moon had this problem for many, many years... They couldn't tell her to lay off, no matter how hard they tried, so they just transferred me to another class. After about a month of her tripe, I was gone.

My second 3rd grade teacher was Ms. Williamson. She wasn't bad at all, but she was a bit of an airhead. I have no complaints about her, aside from a few moments of indifference and the inability to average students' grades properly.

My third 3rd grade teacher, which was in Port Isabel (I lived on South Padre Island), would be my final public school teacher. She was Ms. Cramer, and she was the absolute worst of the lot. Take Ms. Schuman and Ms. Moon, multiply by two, and then add a little sourness on top, and you have her. I honestly think that she went insane from all the years of teaching crappy students. What she did to me, along with many other classmates, I won't exactly divulge, because it's pretty nasty.


As for other kids being bullies? Well, I only knew of one bully the entire time I went to school, and I only had a run-in with him once. He tripped me as I was running to the playground when I was in the 1st grade at Port Aransas... He and his friends laughed; I looked back at him shrugged, and continued on my way.

There were other kids who did shitty things to me, but they were hardly bullies. But, that's all behind me now. What happened happened... There's no changing that. I've moved on in my life, and I hope that by the time you graduate high school, you will, too.

Don't let your memories of school days control your life. There's so much more with which you can occupy yourself, and so much more you can accomplish if you just shrug it off and roll along at your own pace. I stopped letting my memories of school bring me down years ago... And I'm a much happier person than I was then.

That is fucking NOTHING! Try on a few of my teachers.

1. Mr. Samuels. My 5th grade teacher. Besides the fact that he was a total dick to all the students, he periodically got physical. One time he slammed a kid into a wall, causing a concussion. We didn't say anything because we were, as are all children who are abused by ANYBODY, scared.

2. Dr. Gordon. My 7th grade science teacher. She liked EVERYBODY. Except for the outsiders. And since I had absolutely no friends what-so-ever, I was an outsider. Hooray for me. You know what that means? All the normal kids got to talk all they wanted. Me? I piped up ONCE when I wasn't supposed to = Detention. Other kids got help with their assignments. Me? I'm in G.A.T.E., I should know how to do it myself. All the other kids got extensions on projects every once in a while. Me? I'm in G.A.T.E., I should be able to do it in the time alloted. All the other kids would be excused from mistakes on assignments. Me? I spell a word one letter wrong, I lose all the points for that problem. I'm in G.A.T.E., I should know how to spell. (Note: All the other kids were in G.A.T.E. as well. G.A.T.E. = Gifted and Talented Education)

3. Ms. Bell. Dear god Ms. Bell... I barely survived her class. Take Dr. Gordon, but add a loud voice, strain from teaching thirty more years than Dr. Gordon has, and add as much cynicality as possible. Voila. Ms. Bell.

Think more along the lines of columbine my friend.

For me thinking about it lessens the urge, not increases it. Maybe not for other people, but for rational, logical people it will.

I hate bullies. Most kids don't bully me, mainly because I am a half a foot taller than most, and have grown a reputation for a) being completely insane, b) being really strong, and c) having an extensive knowledge of ways to kill people. I have grown that reputation so people won't bully me, I get enough of it from my two brothers.

Personally, I think the "bully" situation is a bit overblown. Yes, I realize most of you have had personal experiences, but I highly doubt that that is the situation for a majority, probably not even a third.

Where I come from, there are no bullies, at least kids don't bully each other around me. We all do take part in good-natured teasing all the time, but everyone knows it isn't serious.

I'm sorry for you people who have been bullied, I hope is doesn't happen to you anymore.

I wasnt bullied in school, but on a few occasions I was picked on. In seventh grade a few kids would pick on me because I was asian. But I got back at them when we played nations. One of them tripped and fell, and I nailed him in the stomach with the dodgeball and he couldnt get back up for a few minutes because he got the wind knocked out of him. After that they never bothered me again.

In high school I talked very little in class except for when I was with my friends. No many people really picked on me because of that actually they thought I was cool or something like that. Mostly because if someone asked me for help, I would help them and I was generally nice everyone. They saw me more as a chilled out mellow person. Some people took it on themselves to bully me in class by throwing pencils at me, but it didnt really work as I would just take those pencils and chuck them in my backpack.

One way I found to not be bullied is to make alot of friends with people who are like you. With the group I hanged out with, we were into Dungeons and Dragons, computers and sci fi, so we were basically geeks. No one picked on us even when we sat in the grassfield at lunch playing Magic the Gathering screaming at each other at the top of our lungs with a ton of people sitting around us.

I experienced bullying from 3rd-8th grade, and, save for one experience, it was all low level, and I brought it on myself so very much of the time (I was an odd little child in middle school, I block those years out). Only once was I ever faced with real, high intensity bullying/violence. It was sixth grade and the prick grabbed my books and threw them into the girls bathroom, he and a bunch of other guys promptly surrounded me, and he came up to me and pushed me.

I said "screw you" and clocked him. I actually sent him down. We both wound up getting detentions for the incident (never mind that I was defending myself from a violent neanderthal who had already laid hands on me) but high level bullying never proved to be much of a problem for me ever again.

Exactly. This is why you deserve a box full of special cookies.

*hands*

Yeah, I know that it's ironic, given your statement about drugs... But come on, it's just baked-in marijuana goodness! How could that possibly be wrong!?

I think the drugs that are being referred to are the classic redneck delight: Methamphetamines. Pure brain rot.

I was the first girl in my third-grade year to have a bra

I've never understood the gender gap with things like this. For females it seems this makes you more insecure and more targetable by bullies. But for us guys, if we grow boobs, it makes us more manly.

I mean, uh.

Well, you know what I mean.

Looking back I don't like thinking of myself as a victim anymore. It never stopped for me until I finally snapped one morning during a beat down and strangled one of my tormentors. We both got punished for that. He finally for what he'd been doing to myself and so many others for so long and I for choking the living life out of him. But I did notice one thing after that, the vast majority of the taunting voices fell silent for quite some time.

Some people only understand force. When you fight back you are exercising authority, you are using force. And force, my friends, is violence, the supreme authority from which all other authority--oh wait, this is real life not a Heinlein novel. Still, my point is less because my pencil broke. But what I was typing about is true. Fight back even once or twice in a semi-crazed and none to glorious fashion and they'll start seeing you as too high a risk to be screwing around with. And letting off steam a little at a time is better than letting the boiler explode along with the rest of the school when you take an AA-12 to every students head and pile propane tanks in the teachers lounge.

Fight back. The life you save may not just be your own.

Anyway, people often forget just how mean kids can be.

Not just to each other, either! Cuz people say that. "Kids can be so mean to each other." Half-true. They're mean to everyone. They're mean little fuckers is what they are.

If you think they're not being mean to you just cuz they cower appropriately when you threaten to cave their head in with a golf club, that just means they're probably having sex with your sister or molesting your pet dog.

I'm 100% serious. Kids are satanic in terms of ethical conscience. Over time we develop these ideas that make us civilized, like not kicking people when they're down. Or at least, not doing it in public. But children don't have those ideas yet, because their little brains haven't had time for advanced sentient concepts.

So they kick people when they're down, in public, and they gather around and chant and cheer all the while. Does it stop, do they let up when the victim staggers to his feet, bleeding and crying? NO! They then psychologically humiliate him or her, making fun of ethnicity, parents, economic status, social status, clothes, hair, hair color, face, eyes, skin tone, name, last name, family, friends, pets, favorite music, and WILL TO FUCKING LIVE!

And in the real world, we might do all that, but what happens when someone we exploit, torment and beat on kills themselves or dies in a mysterious boating accident? We feel a little guilty, right? We go, "Damn, that's ... damn. That's fucking serious. I'm going to have to think about that for a few minutes."

Not so with children. They go, "YES! They're DEAD! We WIN!" and dance around in a cute little kiddie happy-dance, cavorting and cackling with glee like adorable little imps.

So yeah. Don't think you're fooling me, kids. I know all about you. All the adults think you're "cute." Especially the women, like your mothers and aunties and grandmas and your mum's friends and that scary uncle you have that no one likes to talk about.

Not me. Na-uh. I think you're horrible from the very minute some unfortunate woman excretes you painfully from the womb and into the safely-gloved, but bloody, hands of a professional nurse. Doesn't matter how adorable you look, sound or smell. I despise you. And you just get worse with age.

Children. Don't talk to me about children. They're the cancer of this earth.

they get what they get in the end

i should know i all most killed a year 12 kid after losing it from let the shit from people giving build up inside me

That's the point. Imagine you're Carrie, or something. Imagine you going all out with psychic powers and mutilating them and stuff. It takes the anger away.

I suggest you seek out help. Thats not healthy at all, its self destructive. If you think like that your eventually going to act out on that thinking. As previously stated, another columbine.

Anyway, people often forget just how mean kids can be.

Not just to each other, either! Cuz people say that. "Kids can be so mean to each other." Half-true. They're mean to everyone. They're mean little fuckers is what they are.

If you think they're not being mean to you just cuz they cower appropriately when you threaten to cave their head in with a golf club, that just means they're probably having sex with your sister or molesting your pet dog.

I'm 100% serious. Kids are satanic in terms of ethical conscience. Over time we develop these ideas that make us civilized, like not kicking people when they're down. Or at least, not doing it in public. But children don't have those ideas yet, because their little brains haven't had time for advanced sentient concepts.

So they kick people when they're down, in public, and they gather around and chant and cheer all the while. Does it stop, do they let up when the victim staggers to his feet, bleeding and crying? NO! They then psychologically humiliate him or her, making fun of ethnicity, parents, economic status, social status, clothes, hair, hair color, face, eyes, skin tone, name, last name, family, friends, pets, favorite music, and WILL TO FUCKING LIVE!

And in the real world, we might do all that, but what happens when someone we exploit, torment and beat on kills themselves or dies in a mysterious boating accident? We feel a little guilty, right? We go, "Damn, that's ... damn. That's fucking serious. I'm going to have to think about that for a few minutes."

Not so with children. They go, "YES! They're DEAD! We WIN!" and dance around in a cute little kiddie happy-dance, cavorting and cackling with glee like adorable little imps.

So yeah. Don't think you're fooling me, kids. I know all about you. All the adults think you're "cute." Especially the women, like your mothers and aunties and grandmas and your mum's friends and that scary uncle you have that no one likes to talk about.

Not me. Na-uh. I think you're horrible from the very minute some unfortunate woman excretes you painfully from the womb and into the safely-gloved, but bloody, hands of a professional nurse. Doesn't matter how adorable you look, sound or smell. I despise you. And you just get worse with age.

Children. Don't talk to me about children. They're the cancer of this earth.

They're also the ones who are the future of the world which is truely sad. Hopefully, years of expeirience will help them mature. But, if not, hopefully I'll be dead by the time someone from their generation becomes a world leader.

That's the point. Imagine you're Carrie, or something. Imagine you going all out with psychic powers and mutilating them and stuff. It takes the anger away.

That's my name and I would like to point out that I was bullied quite a bit in grade school -partially because of that movie, but also because everything rhymes with Carrie (Hairy Carrie, Scary Carrie)... also because I sucked my thumb. That's neither here nor there. I tried to blow people up. I felt it was my right to have that power because of the moive. It doesn't work.

BEYOND THAT:
Having been one of the mercilessly bullied I have to look back at how bad it was and if it really, truly affected me in the long run. Apparently bullying is an age-old tradition to seperate the herd, pull out the weak from the strong. The bullies are the weak ones mind you, having no other way to express their inferioirity than to take it out on the unique individual who does not conform to the zombified clones of media-enhanced adolesence.

It is hurtful and can be very damaging to self-esteem of the person who is bullied, but guess what? It passes. Life goes on. You can come out a better and stronger person for it. Before I get bombarded by people who scream, "You're saying that being a bully is a good thing!", I am not condoning it.

I am merely saying that if you have unfortunately been bullied, you have the comfort of knowing that you are a supreme being who has been singled out by the weaker masses because your magnificent glory far outshines their pitiful, mediocre existence.

:D

snip

There are bad teachers. There are horrific teachers. But if you had all those problems in elementary school, do you think it might NOT have been entirely the teachers? I mean seven teachers in four years??

Well, here's a random question for you all... about bullying. Is it serious? Are US schools doing anything effective about it?

My answers: It's very serious. I was bullied from ages seven to twelve. I moved to small-town North Carolina and was bullied as soon as I moved in. I've always been a bit shy, but apparently I wasn't social enough for the Duck Ridge kids. My sister made friends instantly. It took me six years to get more than one real friend because of the bullying. In elementary school I hung around the anti-tattletales and was bullied as a result and became extremely shy. I was the first girl in my third-grade year to have a bra and acne, which made me even more insecure. The shyness eased up toward the end of the year, but by fourth grade I was even more shy and bullied more because I had ADD. In fifth grade I was the smartest girl in my class-- there were 3 boys ahead of me and one right behind me (we've been really good friends since then :)) but the bullying became even worse. People were constantly talkign about me and I was excluded from the girls' table. The cliques got so bad that my teacher assigned seats and I got stuck with the other smart kids :). In sixth grade I was no longer the smartest one and that's the first year I've ever came close to actually failing a class. I was constantly made fun of for my acne and because I was shy. People stole from me, stealing my report cards on the bus, constantly harassing me because of my acne. In seventh grade the teacher favoritism began and I never made sports teams in seventh or eighth grade simply because I wasn't the favorite (which is why the middle school's teams always sucked major arse, favoritism) It completely killed my motivation. I started thinking I was ugly and tiny and just worthless, not good enough. I never got anything done in middle school, until eighth grade.

Now I'm in ninth grade, and look at me now. I'm much better, but I'm still shy and still have low self-esteem. I have much more confidence, but I still want to smite all the teachers and students who made middle school miserable for me. I want to move to a different neighborhood... still. One of my stories is about a girl who is bullied. And I know what you guys are going to say... "You should have told someone..." NOBODY WOULD FREAKING LISTEN! Speaking up is only effective if SOMEBODY ACTUALLY FREAKING LISTENS!

Oh, and this little tidbit from Scholastic: (http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4099)


BULL CRAP. Most bullies are GIRLS, retards! UGH! IDIOTS! It's people who are so woefully ignorant about preteens that make me daydream about lightning hitting my old middle school! :mad:

I was bullied terribly in Middle School. I was bullied because of being "smart", I was bullied because I wasn't into cars (I can't tell you a thing about 'em, but hand me a rifle, and I'll tell you everything you could possibly want to know about it). I've been bullied because I want to be in the Marines, in a time where it is unpopular (i've been called "Warfreak", "Murderer in Training", "Baby-Killer", all sorts of unpleasent things). Now, this was all done by a group of drug addict losers, about five in all. I was friends with everyone else in the school, but these assholes still managed to make life hellish for me, regardless.

Anyway, I did beat the shit out of one of my tormentors in Seventh grade, and finally they stopped. I made a point out of working out as much as I could, to where noone else can match me in stregth, and bullies don't bother me anymore....I can take 'em ;)


The best way to steer clear of bullies is, in my mind, to make them know you aren't afraid of them. Even if they beat the crap out of you, stand up to them. If you're on the ground, spit at them and laugh. Trust me, I know from experiance.


...just my opinion on the matter....

bullying builds character for those being bullied let it happen to some degree but if it gets out of control then thats when it becomes a problem usually the bully is doing these kinda things because something isn't right in there home life.

Greater Trostia: Kids can be so cruel

We can? Thanks, Greater Trostia!

Sometimes I wish I were a kid again so I could be cruel to others and get away with it. Cruelty is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.

Whenever someone won't respect your authoritah violate them with fireants!

Hitting on people can be fun too. Just make sure that when your finished they can't see colors and think their name is Barbra.

Another way to pass the time is hammering nails into peoples spines. Then disecting them. For Science!

But in the end you should always remember to kiss and make up. With your gym teacher.

Flying nun-bombs, ATTACK! With Elegant Spinning Destiny! (Did I mention this was an anime fight?)

1. Don't act like no one else gets bullied.

2. I've been through it too, I know what it's like. I was the first boy in my school to start puberty, and it sucked. But my imagination keeps me from acting out. My imagination is a wonderful place.

1) I wasn't acting like I was the only one. I feel like it at times but I know I'm not alone. I am alone in my neighborhood, however.
2) I like my imagination too. :) But I'm getting a bit worried about it, I'm having odd daydreams about my middle school being destroyed in some freak catastrophe.

Also in my neighborhood I became friends with some people but no, my idiot sister and her friend were in a fight with them and told me they were using me and then they went away. :( I spent 3 of my middle school years in my sister's shadow. All her friends tormented me for my acne, and I couldn't fight back because I was scared to- not in a physical sense, but in a mental sense because my self esteem was so far gone that I thought that if I fought back people would torment me more. I really, really regret not beating the crap out of some people in middle school. I'm not a violent person either.

Though, high school has been far, far better for me. Maybe it's because my sister is 20 minutes away at Hell Middle.

don't blame it on your sister be responsible for your own life

don't blame it on your sister be responsible for your own life

My town only offers sports as extra-curricular activities. I'm into the arts. My sister likes sports. Therefore, my town sucks. I had nothing to do.

I'm damn lucky my asocial personality in middle school kept me inside most of the time, otherwise I would have gotten whatever Dosuun was smoking earlier.

Did I also mention that my town sucks?

My town only offers sports as extra-curricular activities. I'm into the arts. My sister likes sports. Therefore, my town sucks. I had nothing to do.

I'm damn lucky my asocial personality in middle school kept me inside most of the time, otherwise I would have gotten whatever Dosuun was smoking earlier.

Did I also mention that my town sucks?

I thought you do band or something?

bullying builds character for those being bullied let it happen to some degree but if it gets out of control then thats when it becomes a problem usually the bully is doing these kinda things because something isn't right in there home life.

Ah, yes. An excuse for bullies from a bully. Be careful. One day you'll bully someone with the imagination and the resources to treat you & your buddies to a thrilling evening, complete with restraints and electrified penile sheaths.

It'll be fun. Like digging up coffins.

J.

I thought you do band or something?

In middle school band was a class, not an extra curricular. Therefore, it didn't really count. :(

Do what I do to make sure no one messes with me - rip a kid's inner ear (left, I think) apart at the beach. Gossip travels fast.

bullying builds character for those being bullied let it happen to some degree but if it gets out of control then thats when it becomes a problem usually the bully is doing these kinda things because something isn't right in there home life.

It's always that, over and over. My bullies weren't abused, they were arrogant and abusive. Strict parents =/= abusive parents. And it's always these dismissals that cause victims not to speak up. I tried and nobody listened. Harmless teasing, middle school, you'llget over it. I'm in high school now with many more friends that the 5 or 6 I had in middle school, I'm still not over it. I still think of myself as ugly, I want to beat the crap out of everyone who bullied me, I want to move to a different town, I want Hell Middle closed for good. Maybe if adults actually LISTENED to bully victims then bullying wouldn't be such a problem. Why do people assume that all bullies are abused little boys? My bullies were evil, arrogant girls except for a few, who were evil arrogant boys. It's not always low self esteem that causes bullies, it's normally power. That power causes low self esteem in its victims. And you know what? I had none in middle school whatsoever. I felt like I wasn't good enough for anything. I had B's and C's in most classes (except in 5th grade, when I had straight As) and never made sports teams because the coaches picked favorites. I was invisible.

now this where i get lose is middle school what we call primary school here

now this where i get lose is middle school what we call primary school here
Errrrr... depends. Elementary school (in my town) is grades K-4 (ages 5-10). Middle school is grades 5-8 (ages 10 thorugh 14) and high school is grades 9-12 (ages 14-18).

It's always that, over and over. My bullies weren't abused, they were arrogant and abusive. Strict parents =/= abusive parents. And it's always these dismissals that cause victims not to speak up. I tried and nobody listened. Harmless teasing, middle school, you'llget over it. I'm in high school now with many more friends that the 5 or 6 I had in middle school, I'm still not over it. I still think of myself as ugly, I want to beat the crap out of everyone who bullied me, I want to move to a different town, I want Hell Middle closed for good. Maybe if adults actually LISTENED to bully victims then bullying wouldn't be such a problem. Why do people assume that all bullies are abused little boys? My bullies were evil, arrogant girls except for a few, who were evil arrogant boys. It's not always low self esteem that causes bullies, it's normally power. That power causes low self esteem in its victims. And you know what? I had none in middle school whatsoever. I felt like I wasn't good enough for anything. I had B's and C's in most classes (except in 5th grade, when I had straight As) and never made sports teams because the coaches picked favorites. I was invisible.

You faired better than me, apparently.

Errrrr... depends. Elementary school (in my town) is grades K-4 (ages 5-10). Middle school is grades 5-8 (ages 10 thorugh 14) and high school is grades 9-12 (ages 14-18).

here it goes Kindergarten,primary (years 1 to 7) and high school (years 8 to 12)
but this not the same for all state

the state of NSW its Kindergarten,primary (years 1 to 6) and high shcool (years 7to 12)

You faired better than me, apparently.

Probably. Bullying isn't always the getting-beat-up-and-publicly-humiliated-every-day kind; there are a lot of kids in situations like mine. My self esteem was destroyed because of the exclusion I endured. Exclusion sometimes hurts worse than outright humiliation.

Damned database errors...was going to post this earlier...

I endured physical violence and mental torture throughout most of my school years - the physical violence eventually stopped, but the mental aspect was always there. (as I got older, that also got better, but never ceased. It still continues now when I bump into people I don't like from back in school :rolleyes:)

Unfortunately, many people adopted the "awww, a bit of fighting will toughen them up" point of view when it came to physical violence. Did PE teachers care when everyone used "friendly games" to kick balls at my head? That's just part of the game, innit? I should learn to dodge - or hey, if it's going for my face, I should be able to actually catch it this time! No, Daniel didn't mean to punch me in the small of the back. It was an accident, you know, happens in footy. Or threatening to burn me with a deodorant can and lighter in the changeroom. It's all just a laugh. For some reason, everyone was convinced I was gay. (That seems to have carried through into adulthood, heh). Hitting me was justified because it was only "gaybashing". It's not like my Parents were ignorant of me being bullied, and they certainly cared. How do I follow advice from dad to "hit back" though, when I was often surrounded by groups of 30 or more? And i'd already left one school because of it; so I eventually covered things up because I didn't want to lose the handful of friends I had yet again. Those blisters on my face caused by having a scalding hot pie rubbed into it? Sunburn. I didn't want them to worry. No matter who got in trouble for picking on me, someone else would do it anyway. What could I do? I was just the nerdy kid that didn't like sport, and nerdy kids that don't like sport are known to take crap in PE classes the world over.

But bruises go away. The mental aspect of it lasts forever, the insults stick with you for life. I still recall my only friend in my last year of primary school ditching me to hang out with the popular kids (there were only 10 guys in my entire year level, so I didn't have a lot of choice when it came down to who i hung around with.)

And the "boys bully more" is just bullshit. I got a lot of crap from girls too. In fact, they're probably worse. I was an ugly little shit and I was told that a lot. Even in late high school if I asked someone out it was an absolute riot for everyone. Everyone in the school would hear about it, because haha, how could I have the nerve? That still sticks with me even today, since nothing has improved and I still have bad acne.

At least now I can accept that I am, and probably always will be a social outcast. I can deal with that, comfortable in the knowledge that I wasn't just another one of those arseholes. At the very least it would be nice to stick it to my year 8 music teacher who laughed at me and asked if I was retarded, but she wouldn't remember me anyway.

Should we crack down on bullying? Fucking oath we should. It's in no way acceptable behavior. Looking back on that, no 11 year old should be suicidal because people decide that who they are is unacceptable. No, scratch that - no person, anywhere, should be made to feel unwelcome because of who they are. I have nothing but the greatest sympathy for anyone still in school dealing with this shit. At least I had (still have) a stable and happy family to balance it.

Bleh. Now i'm in a shit mood.

Damned database errors...was going to post this earlier...
*snippyness*.

I was never physically harmed myself, except in PE when everyone would hurl balls as hard as they could at me. I got sent to the nurse once. I never got into fights at school though. Maybe it's because most of the bullies at my school tended to be girls. By the way, you're right, girls are bullies too, it's just that they're much nastier and sneakier about it. I don't have many girl friends because of what happened in middle school.

I hate to sound like a whiner, but I hated middle school and that's the entire reason why, was bullying. Constant teasing and exclusion are the most common forms of bullying.

And US school programs don't make a dent in it at all.

I was never physically harmed myself. I never got into fights at school. Maybe it's because most of the bullies at my school tend to be girls. By the way, you're right, girls are bullies too, it's just that they're much nastier and sneakier about it. I don't have many girl friends because of what happened in middle school.

I hate to sound like a whiner, but I hated middle school and that's the entire reason why, was bullying. Constant teasing and exclusion are the most common forms of bullying.

And US school programs don't make a dent in it at all.

I think the physical harm is mostly a guy thing, whereas the girls excel at psychological harm. Guys also tend to "behave" a bit more when around girls.

But take heart in the fact that you're not alone. I suspect that the same thing occurs all across the world.

I think the physical harm is mostly a guy thing, whereas the girls excel at psychological harm. Guys also tend to "behave" a bit more when around girls.

But take heart in the fact that you're not alone. I suspect that the same thing occurs all across the world.

Yeah. Actually, the times I had balls hurled at me were times when I'd hit their girlfriends with balls.

And I'm only alone n my neighborhood (not town). The kids around here are evil. The girls excluded me and spread rumors, the guy excluded me, spread rumors, and made fun of my acne.

It doesn't help that I'm also fair-skinned and had a brown spot on my front tooth (result of a high fever as a little kid). I had flak from that too. I was ugly. The spot got covered up (finally) but my acne only went away for a little while. I still feel ugly. :(

By the way, you're right, girls are bullies too, it's just that they're much nastier and sneakier about it.


Not always. There was a group of girls at my elementary school who would beat me up on a regular basis. One in particular enjoyed such activities as pushing me over and then kicking me repeatedly in the head and stomach, to the point where I ended up both concussed and spitting up blood. She was a real charmer, that girl.

On the bright side, things do get better, and a couple of decades later I'm really not mad at the bullies. I mostly just pity them, as it's truly sad to imagine someone so insecure that it could honestly made them feel better about themselves to gang up on the smallest kid in the class just because she happened to be a "nerd."

Yeah. Actually, the times I had balls hurled at me were times when I'd hit their girlfriends with balls.

And I'm only alone n my neighborhood (not town). The kids around here are evil. The girls excluded me and spread rumors, the guy excluded me, spread rumors, and made fun of my acne.
I think kids anywhere are evil. People are always searching for someone to hate.

It doesn't help that I'm also fair-skinned and had a brown spot on my front tooth (result of a high fever as a little kid). I had flak from that too. I was ugly. The spot got covered up (finally) but my acne only went away for a little while. I still feel ugly. :(

Sucks. :( I'm 20 and I still get it like I did when I was 15.

Not always. There was a group of girls at my elementary school who would beat me up on a regular basis. One in particular enjoyed such activities as pushing me over and then kicking me repeatedly in the head and stomach, to the point where I ended up both concussed and spitting up blood. She was a real charmer, that girl.

On the bright side, things do get better, and a couple of decades later I'm really not mad at the bullies. I mostly just pity them, as it's truly sad to imagine someone so insecure that it could honestly made them feel better about themselves to gang up on the smallest kid in the class just because she happened to be a "nerd."

:eek: That really sucks. Soem bullies are insecure, and that girl had/has serious issues. However some bullies are just arrogant jerks. :(

I think kids anywhere are evil. People are always searching for someone to hate.



Sucks. :( I'm 20 and I still get it like I did when I was 15.

I've had acne since I was 9. :(

I've had acne since I was 9. :(

11 or 12 for me.

Kids suck. :(

11 or 12 for me.

Lucky, I call it. :(

Lucky, I call it. :(

I don't think so. I've been on medication for it for about 6 years now. Bleh. :/

I don't think so. I've been on medication for it for about 6 years now. Bleh. :/

Never mind.

Well, here's a random question for you all... about bullying. Is it serious?
In most cases, no. It's an ego thing. However, there are certainly some that are very serious.

Are US schools doing anything effective about it?
No. Be thankful too, because if the school gets involved, your life will just get more complicated.

Oh, and this little tidbit from Scholastic: (http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4099)

Well come on, it's Scholastic. They're not out to say something controversial.

BULL CRAP. Most bullies are GIRLS, retards! UGH! IDIOTS! It's people who are so woefully ignorant about preteens that make me daydream about lightning hitting my old middle school! :mad:
It'll pass.

I recall getting in serious trouble for doing a nazi salute towards some kids who were bullying me in elementary school.

:eek: That really sucks. Soem bullies are insecure, and that girl had/has serious issues. However some bullies are just arrogant jerks. :(

Eh, I suspect even the arrogant jerks are rather insecure. :) Generally, if you're confident in your superiority over someone else, you don't waste a lot of effort trying to demonstrate it to everyone around you. An awful lot of middle and high school politicking essentially boils down to, "Watch me be cooler than her! See how cool I am, by being cooler than her? See? See how much cooler than her I am? See? Look, I called her a nasty name! That proves that I'm much cooler than her, doesn't it? Doesn't it?"

Eh, I suspect even the arrogant jerks are rather insecure. :) Generally, if you're confident in your superiority over someone else, you don't waste a lot of effort trying to demonstrate it to everyone around you. An awful lot of middle and high school politicking essentially boils down to, "Watch me be cooler than her! See how cool I am, by being cooler than her? See? See how much cooler than her I am? See? Look, I called her a nasty name! That proves that I'm much cooler than her, doesn't it? Doesn't it?"

True.

-snip-

Oh shut up and give me your lunch money....or syrup, which ever you have Ms. Pancake.

Oh shut up and give me your lunch money....or syrup, which ever you have Ms. Pancake.

:D Oh yeah? You want my lunch money? Then bring it, biatch! :D

:D Oh yeah? You want my lunch money? Then bring it, biatch! :D


-iz scared- ok..maybe girls are better at bullying!

-iz scared- ok..maybe girls are better at bullying!

I was only joking.... :(

I was only joking.... :(


awww no need to be sad...:fluffle:

And isn't it past your bed time? :p

I was bullied for a long time (Not US, but anyway).
There is major anti-bullying things going on with schools but it doesn't do shit.

For me it lasted until about 13-14 (cant remember) when I gave up being the bigger man and beat the shit out of 5 bullies. (Group of 3 and group of 2, seperate occasion). Once I beat half a dozen people half to death it stopped.
I DO not SUGGEST THIS FOR PEOPLE.

But really, if you can, stand up to them, adrenalin should give you the upper hand.


As for female bullying, I hear it is much worse, and basically nought you can do about it. Believe me or not but you are supposed to tell people... Have any male friends? I would have cared.

I was bullied. I knocked the kid out, and he got expelled....:)

There are bad teachers. There are horrific teachers. But if you had all those problems in elementary school, do you think it might NOT have been entirely the teachers? I mean seven teachers in four years??

That's the problem... It was the teachers. Like I said, I had absolutely no problems with the ones in Port Aransas, my home town (save for the nutcase Ms. Bells).

But, as soon as I came to Houston, problems started. You know, now that I look back on it, I think the way I talked had a lot to do with the problems that I had. I grew up with and around people from Northern states (Michigan, Ohio, and Connecticut being where most of my friends were from), so I developed a very neutral accent.

There was serious culture shock when I moved to Houston. I honestly couldn't tell what a lot of the people were saying, because the accents were so thick and unrefined. I remember having to ask Ms. Sinclair to repeat herself on several occasions... That probably didn't help matters much. Things were just so much different, and I didn't know what the hell was going on.

Near the end of the 2nd grade, a new kid moved to town all the way from Indiana, and was enrolled in my class. The teachers treated him about as well as they treated me, and he did absolutely nothing to warrant such treatment. Anthony and I were pretty good friends... He's the first person I can remember wearing a Notre Dame shirt.

My uncle said that he had problems when he moved from Texas to Tennessee when he was in the 5th grade. His teacher hated people from Texas, and she would give him automatic F grades on everything, no matter how well he did.

And even though all of my school years are behind me, I still have to put up with bullying... By my brother and dad. One screams my head off for the way I talk ("god damn fucking yankee shit"), and the other tags along... Pathetic.

I was bullied for a long time (Not US, but anyway).
There is major anti-bullying things going on with schools but it doesn't do shit.

For me it lasted until about 13-14 (cant remember) when I gave up being the bigger man and beat the shit out of 5 bullies. (Group of 3 and group of 2, seperate occasion). Once I beat half a dozen people half to death it stopped.
I DO not SUGGEST THIS FOR PEOPLE.

But really, if you can, stand up to them, adrenalin should give you the upper hand.


As for female bullying, I hear it is much worse, and basically nought you can do about it. Believe me or not but you are supposed to tell people... Have any male friends? I would have cared.
I had male friends all through middle school, and I just hung around them for four years (going on five... :p) so I never really told them. I told my parents over and over but they wouldn't listen and told me it was just a part of growing up, and I didn't care tell any adults at school because I knew that they wouldn't do a god damn thing about it since I wasn't anybody's favorite. :mad:

And yes, there are major programs in the US trying to prevent bullying, but none of them work. Absolutely none of them freaking work.

I hate the weakness we seek to instill in children.

The world is not fair, people will push you, and you must either learn to push back or to be bowled over.

Bottom line, only in the knockkneed 90s and 00s have we seen this infantile pandering to the supposed pscological damage of bullying.

Cowboy up for Goodness sakes!!!

What are you going to do when you are 30 and there is a bully in your office? You think it doesnt happen it does, and your boss is going to laugh you out of his office when you say "He is picking on me".

Feck!!!

WHat is it with these mealy mouthed kids who want everything handed to them on a silver platter including social development---GROW UP ON YOUR OWN!!!!

Mommy cant hold your hand forever.

And since when did everyone get so scared of taking an ass whooping?
Get hit. It isnt that bad.

Resolve your own problems--this is skill learned in childhood, you need to learn deal with your peers through your peers--Someone can not intercede everytime you are ready to piss your pants.

I was bullied, I bullied back, got bullied and bullied back, got bullied and had enough.

I dont believe in pushing someone who cant push back, but i learned that, and not because some sissy ratted me out, and be certain if I had been 12 and had some snapper rat me out--your life would have become a nightmare.

Blow my mouth out---and odds are I wont be asking you to do that again.

Or as i explained to my daughters that even if you can stomp someones ass the real weapons are words, because anyone can kick anyone elses ass on any iven day, but once you make someone look stupid in a war of words they will always be stupid---use your head.

My kids had better never come home telling me some mealy mouth claptrap garbage about me settling a dispute between pre-teens....learn to cope.

I had male friends all through middle school, and I just hung around them for four years (going on five... :p) so I never really told them. I told my parents over and over but they wouldn't listen and told me it was just a part of growing up, and I didn't care tell any adults at school because I knew that they wouldn't do a god damn thing about it since I wasn't anybody's favorite. :mad:

And yes, there are major programs in the US trying to prevent bullying, but none of them work. Absolutely none of them freaking work.

they dont work no were

My imagination was a bit dark, I actually thought about striking back and hurting the people who hurt me, and sometimes worse.

Yeah, that seems familiar. My imagination was tinged with the darker hues of the color spectrum, except in New Orleans you can do something back and not get hosed by the legal system. Works nicely.

They learned not to mess with smart kids. Especially not me. I was able to assemble and manipulate as many people as I felt like because I knew how to prey on their weaknesses which THEY exposed when they tormented other poor soles. New Orleans could get violent.

I think bullies are bad, mmmk?

But I also think that fucking with people who butt-in to other peoples business is acceptable.

So, in a sense, fuck with my friends, I'll be a bully.

I think that was off topic...

The kids don't learn consequences if they don't get to push the limits of acceptable and unacceptable action. Children and many adults alike do not function well in a semi-utopian environment that legislature attempts to create.

This semi-utopian environment allows people to be hurt, but the victims never see justice, let alone conceptualize what justice really is. Children CAN do that, they can understand, but we blind them.

There are two ideal environments. One that is perfect and flawless and one in which people must learn to take advantage of surroundings. See Machiavelli's Il Principe and Thomas More's Utopia. Both great books...if one analyzes and applies them correctly.

Let's be real. The counselor's are a joke, too. No one does any service at all when they attempt "child psychology." A very rare few cases of such have anything to do with "motive," "feeling," or "being equal to everyone."

Really, some people are obviously more equal than others in this system. A while ago, in my city, a child was nearly beaten into a coma by other kids at his school. Sixth graders, mind you. Why didn't he defend himself? He wasn't legaly entitled to self defense by the school system. He knew about the "zero tolerance" laws and feared that HE would be the recipient of the consequence.

Great one. I'll make sure I re-elect THESE officials.

*snip de la bs*

Oh really? Your advice is the entire reason bullies are allowed to continue. Your daughters have been raised to be strong and not take crap. I took it and didn't know what to do with it. Not everyone can just "cowboy up" when somebody constantly harasses you for something you can't control for 5 years straight, dipstick, and I got harassed about it from my own mother, who told me several times that I should be more like my sister. I am NOT a stupid socialite ditz like my sister, and wouldn't have been otherwise.

Let's be real. The counselor's are a joke, too. No one does any service at all when they attempt "child psychology." A very rare few cases of such have anything to do with "motive," "feeling," or "being equal to everyone."

Really, some people are obviously more equal than others in this system. A while ago, in my city, a child was nearly beaten into a coma by other kids at his school. Sixth graders, mind you. Why didn't he defend himself? He wasn't legaly entitled to self defense by the school system. He knew about the "zero tolerance" laws and feared that HE would be the recipient of the consequence.

Great one. I'll make sure I re-elect THESE officials.

Yeah, it's really sad. These same officials simply don't listen to bullying victims either, they dismiss it as "growing up". :(

The kids don't learn consequences if they don't get to push the limits of acceptable and unacceptable action. Children and many adults alike do not function well in a semi-utopian environment that legislature attempts to create.

This semi-utopian environment allows people to be hurt, but the victims never see justice, let alone conceptualize what justice really is. Children CAN do that, they can understand, but we blind them.

There are two ideal environments. One that is perfect and flawless and one in which people must learn to take advantage of surroundings. See Machiavelli's Il Principe and Thomas More's Utopia. Both great books...if one analyzes and applies them correctly. I agree, everyone can be hurt at times and I'm not saying we should avoid it. But you're right, only the bullies can see justice. It's not fair. I hated middle school and several times thought about it getting hit by 20938473289 lightning bolts at the ame time, thought about it being vandalized, it really shouldn't be like that. Our system spawns Columbine attacks, it doesn't stop them.

Oh really? Your advice is the entire reason bullies are allowed to continue. Your daughters have been raised to be strong and not take crap. I took it and didn't know what to do with it. Not everyone can just "cowboy up" when somebody constantly harasses you for something you can't control for 5 years straight, dipstick, and I got harassed about it from my own mother, who told me several times that I should be more like my sister. I am NOT a stupid socialite ditz like my sister, and wouldn't have been otherwise.

It doesn't seem that you have understood exactly what he proposed the problem was. The problem is that children don't learn to develop if they are never allowed responsibilty (and thusly ability) for situations of intimidation. Also, in your case, it seems that you were harassed but never given support.

That's where modern psychology flaws: children need support, not protection in low-risk instances.

Deeming an instance worthy of protection rather than support is what the debate should regard.

Yeah, it's really sad. These same officials simply don't listen to bullying victims either, they dismiss it as "growing up". :(

However ironic that just might be with "zero tolerance."

It doesn't seem that you have understood exactly what he proposed the problem was. The problem is that children don't learn to develop if they are never allowed responsibilty (and thusly ability) for situations of intimidation. Also, in your case, it seems that you were harassed but never given support.

That's where modern psychology flaws: children need support, not protection in low-risk instances.

Deeming an instance worthy of protection rather than support is what the debate should regard.

Never given support? That is true. I never had support at all. I come from a very sheltered home, and my mom even admits it. I guess I never did learn to stand up becuase I was barely faced with bullying before I moved to North Carolina (save for a psychotic second-grade teacher in Virginia.....). In the UK I never faced teasing (okay, sometimes) but it didn't kill me. In NC, it destroyed my self-esteem.

However ironic that just might be with "zero tolerance."
Zero-tolerance violence. In America that means if 30 people are beating the crap out of you, you must remain cool and calmly tell them why you are ________ and try to resolve the conflict.

Dumbasses.

Yes, the zero-tolerance policy is crap... If a bunch of kids come up to me and punch me in the face, I don't think I'm going to walk down to some counselor's office and explain the situation. I think I'm going to break a few legs and make sure those people don't speak coherently for the next few hours.

I've never really encountered any severe bullying at any school I went to. In elementary school there was one kid who got bullied or teased more than anyone else, cause he was different and sort of wierd. It seems to me that the people who did the bullying were somewhat jealous or they needed something to feel good about. The meaner people seemed to have more depressing home lives. However, looking back, I was put into many situations by teachers where I would have an oppurtunity to talk or make friends with the kids who were being bullied. And I think it worked, I was friends with many of the "unpopular" kids, and when I hung around with them more, the bullies would get more used to them and not tease them as much. I don't think it's the nature of most kids to be mean and bully each other. I suspect that if teachers and authority figures found things that kids who seem to dislike each other have in common, a significant majority would rather play then fight. Just my opinions.

My dear friends,

I must say that as somebody who has never been seriously bullied I believe, nevertheless, that it is a very real problem, one which takes many forms. It must be born in mind that children should not be expected to defend themselves against bullying - some more ignorant people argue that learning to stand up for oneself is a most important leson, but, while they are, marginally speaking, correct, I fear that more often than not forcing children to adopt a defensive posture at such a young age and to protect themselves merely creates a cynical personality which finds it difficult in later life to form good relationships, and is a critical reason in explanining that so many teenagers and adults find it difficult to integrate properly into life and find true happiness.

As a Northern-Irish man, I grew up in an education system which seperated those academically gifted at a young age (11) from those less gifted pupils, allowing those with early success to be put into a grammar school with peers of a more equal level of achievement and abilities. This significantly reduced the problem of bullying as those who would envy academic success were removed from those they would envy, and, vice versa, those who would cause envy in others were not present so to do, at least to a greater extent than is otherwise the case in state school systems across the world. Such a system is effective as it allows those from a poorer background to educate their children in a manner befitting their level of intelligence, rather than allowing only the middle classes access to a superior education - although, it should be fairly commented that those who make up the grammar schools tend to belong to middle class families, but this is because these families tend to be more conducive to education for young children, and thus their children, at a younger age, tend to be more educated. There is no additional cost (save for £100 per year in the case of my own school) for grammar schools, which means they are more than accessible to the poor.

But my main point is more illustrated by grammar schools than anything else - children should be nurtured and encouraged to develop their abilities, talents and personalities freely, without condescension or worse forms of bullying from their peers which can only lead to a stunted personal development. Therefore, finding a solution to the problem of bullying should be foremost the priority of the schools, not of the children involved. THe problem is, I am more than well aware thanks to some personal friends of mine whom have children, extensive and rooted in our schoolroom society. Since we cannot stop children from being bullies, since they are often acting out of frustration from various contributing factors which may be caused at home rather than in the schoolroom and thus may not be eradicated, we must enforce a level of discipline which creates strict boundaries about the treatment of one's peers within school, and this responsibility lies strictly and entirely with the teachers and parents of the bullies, and not at all with the bullied.

Thank you for your time.

I've never really encountered any severe bullying at any school I went to. In elementary school there was one kid who got bullied or teased more than anyone else, cause he was different and sort of wierd. It seems to me that the people who did the bullying were somewhat jealous or they needed something to feel good about. The meaner people seemed to have more depressing home lives. However, looking back, I was put into many situations by teachers where I would have an oppurtunity to talk or make friends with the kids who were being bullied. And I think it worked, I was friends with many of the "unpopular" kids, and when I hung around with them more, the bullies would get more used to them and not tease them as much. I don't think it's the nature of most kids to be mean and bully each other. I suspect that if teachers and authority figures found things that kids who seem to dislike each other have in common, a significant majority would rather play then fight. Just my opinions.

Yeah. What I think happens to many bullies is, their parents expect a lot out of them and say "Do you see my kid? She's so awesome! Watch her be more awesome than your kid!" and the kid starts echoing that and teases the 'less awesome' kid- "See me? See me, ugly? I'm so awesome, my daddy says so! Watch me be more awesome than you, freak!"

I think it's artially the media's fault, since every school-themed show on Nickolodeon/DisneyChannel seem to involve a "queen bee" when it's normally not one queen bee but about 30 that get a little more. Those 30 think it's cool and start mimicking the TV queen bees to make themselves the queen bee and the "uncool" people get hurt.

And yeah, kids would rather play than fight. There's always going to be groups based on interests, but they shouldn't bully each other.

yea bullying at my school it is some what of a problem. We have a kid at my school who is constantly bullied I will not lie I have bullied him myself. I do not enjoy bullying though neither do I like it. One time I actually stood up for the kid and he told me to F off you fag. In sixth grade when I first met him I walked up and said hello and tried to be nice to him. But instead all I got was a glare. Now i'm in 10th grade and still have problems with that kid and one of these days he's going to say something to set a person off and get beatup I know it I just hope it isn't me. So what do you think?

yea bullying at my school it is some what of a problem. We have a kid at my school who is constantly bullied I will not lie I have bullied him myself. I do not enjoy bullying though neither do I like it. One time I actually stood up for the kid and he told me to F off you fag. In sixth grade when I first met him I walked up and said hello and tried to be nice to him. But instead all I got was a glare. Now i'm in 10th grade and still have problems with that kid and one of these days he's going to say something to set a person off and get beatup I know it I just hope it isn't me. So what do you think?

That kid sounds like a total douche.

i was bullied in my equivalent of middle school for various things, mostly i think because i couldn't ever relate to anyone at my school who were the kind of kids who had everything and whose parents let them do whatever they liked, whereas my parents were poor (i was the only kid with an assisted placement or whatever they call 'em) and quite controlling. various things were picked on including being scrawny, then fat, being ginger, being freckled, not having a cool haircut, wearing hand-me-down clothes, having second hand uniform, being shy, being ill, not being good at sports, usual sort of stuff.

after i left that school i hatched a plot to burn it down. the plan involved being able to drive and luckily by the time i was able to drive i'd got over my bitterness but it was a close thing. i was totally adamant i was going to go through with it up til i was about 16.

OMG.... a little bullying in school never hurt anyone. If anything it makes kids tougher. We need to let kids solve thier own problems. It is stupid to be 100% involved in our kids lives. We need to let them take care of thier own problems. This is called growing up. I believe school is more than just learning subjects such as math and science, it is learning how to deal with people, and yes some of those people will be dicks. So our children need to learn how to deal with everyone and solve thier own problems

Yeah. What I think happens to many bullies is, their parents expect a lot out of them and say "Do you see my kid? She's so awesome! Watch her be more awesome than your kid!" and the kid starts echoing that and teases the 'less awesome' kid- "See me? See me, ugly? I'm so awesome, my daddy says so! Watch me be more awesome than you, freak!"

I think it's artially the media's fault, since every school-themed show on Nickolodeon/DisneyChannel seem to involve a "queen bee" when it's normally not one queen bee but about 30 that get a little more. Those 30 think it's cool and start mimicking the TV queen bees to make themselves the queen bee and the "uncool" people get hurt.

And yeah, kids would rather play than fight. There's always going to be groups based on interests, but they shouldn't bully each other.


Meh bullying will always exist. Is soceities way of weeding out the weaker.

Now if I agree with it, no. I think it should be punished harshly.

I had a very drastic bullying situation once. In highschool, I was the queit, more shy type the likes reading. However since I also was going into the fitness gym since I was 14, on top of being 6'3, I luckily managed to avoid being bullied.
However some bored jocks wanted to annoy me a bit, I merely ignored them. And once the running back (in our school he was the bigger star, as our quarterback was mediocre more or less), but our school still didn't make it into the playoffs most of the time and if usually out by the first or second round, so not too big of a star. Anyway he made some derisive comment to which I retorted accusing him of lack of intelligence and insinuating small genitalia, anyway his face got pretty red as even his Football buddies laughed at it.
Three days later I find "Fag" scratched into one of my cars doors. Well I wasn't too happy about that, but about a week later when I was having a pretty bad day, we crossed paths in the library where he made it pretty clear it was him. Taunted me, pushed/poked me four times in the chest, said how he would kill me and then rape my mother, and other none too enlightened things.
Well with what I did next I am kind of ashamed. I took one of the wooden chairs and smacked it at his face, since he had 4 of his Football buddies (they always seem to roam in packs), anyway as you can imagine it turned into a brawl. Before almost 15-20 people had to restrain us and we all landed in jail for a couple of hours before being led to the Head-principal.
The fight not too bore you and skim the best part resulted in, me having a bruised cheek, one of my teeth chipped (had the chip put back in the next day at the dentist, not too comfortable), and a gash above my right eyebrow. The running back whose face met the chair, had his jaw dislodge I believe it was, sounds worse then it is. Anyway he fell unconscious and also had to have speech therapy for 4 months. Of the other 4, two just had light bruises, a slightly darkened eye. One was dumb enough to break his own knuckles by hitting the wall instead of me. And the last one had a broken nose, and apparently he must have gotten hit pretty hard in the testicles during the whole thing since he was limping the next 2 days and always grabbing there with a pained grimace on his face.

Needless to say I still think the whole thing is remember there today. My popularity hit rockbottom, the running back could not play the rest of the season, the other two missed several games before being able to play again (tight end and wide reciever). I was labeled as the guy who ruined the big chance by being so brutal, apparently they weren't being aggressive or innapropriate, was all supposed to be fun. I ruined the schools big chance to reach the finals (honestly I don't think they would have made it even into the playoffs with all players).

Anyway there was lots of screaming of lawsuits, and visits to the principal. In the end no one sued anyone, since my father said he would countersue to the damage done to my car (vandalism), also I doubt any court would find me at fault when being in a 4 vs 1 situation, since no one is dumb enough to pick a fight with such odds. Also I had the better grades and no record of absences or previous fights. So in the end it came to a compromise, my father decided to send me to a private school and solved the matter permanently that way.


Not sure if this counts as pure bullying per se, or just a fight.

Meh bullying will always exist. Is soceities way of weeding out the weaker.

Now if I agree with it, no. I think it should be punished harshly.

I had a very drastic bullying situation once. In highschool, I was the queit, more shy type the likes reading. However since I also was going into the fitness gym since I was 14, on top of being 6'3, I luckily managed to avoid being bullied.
However some bored jocks wanted to annoy me a bit, I merely ignored them. And once the running back (in our school he was the bigger star, as our quarterback was mediocre more or less), but our school still didn't make it into the playoffs most of the time and if usually out by the first or second round, so not too big of a star. Anyway he made some derisive comment to which I retorted accusing him of lack of intelligence and insinuating small genitalia, anyway his face got pretty red as even his Football buddies laughed at it.
Three days later I find "Fag" scratched into one of my cars doors. Well I wasn't too happy about that, but about a week later when I was having a pretty bad day, we crossed paths in the library where he made it pretty clear it was him. Taunted me, pushed/poked me four times in the chest, said how he would kill me and then rape my mother, and other none too enlightened things.
Well with what I did next I am kind of ashamed. I took one of the wooden chairs and smacked it at his face, since he had 4 of his Football buddies (they always seem to roam in packs), anyway as you can imagine it turned into a brawl. Before almost 15-20 people had to restrain us and we all landed in jail for a couple of hours before being led to the Head-principal.
The fight not too bore you and skim the best part resulted in, me having a bruised cheek, one of my teeth chipped (had the chip put back in the next day at the dentist, not too comfortable), and a gash above my right eyebrow. The running back whose face met the chair, had his jaw dislodge I believe it was, sounds worse then it is. Anyway he fell unconscious and also had to have speech therapy for 4 months. Of the other 4, two just had light bruises, a slightly darkened eye. One was dumb enough to break his own knuckles by hitting the wall instead of me. And the last one had a broken nose, and apparently he must have gotten hit pretty hard in the testicles during the whole thing since he was limping the next 2 days and always grabbing there with a pained grimace on his face.

Needless to say I still think the whole thing is remember there today. My popularity hit rockbottom, the running back could not play the rest of the season, the other two missed several games before being able to play again (tight end and wide reciever). I was labeled as the guy who ruined the big chance by being so brutal, apparently they weren't being aggressive or innapropriate, was all supposed to be fun. I ruined the schools big chance to reach the finals (honestly I don't think they would have made it even into the playoffs with all players).

Anyway there was lots of screaming of lawsuits, and visits to the principal. In the end no one sued anyone, since my father said he would countersue to the damage done to my car (vandalism), also I doubt any court would find me at fault when being in a 4 vs 1 situation, since no one is dumb enough to pick a fight with such odds. Also I had the better grades and no record of absences or previous fights. So in the end it came to a compromise, my father decided to send me to a private school and solved the matter permanently that way.


Not sure if this counts as pure bullying per se, or just a fight.

He also made bodily contact with you, against your wishes. He initiated assault, you defended yourself.

OMG.... a little bullying in school never hurt anyone. If anything it makes kids tougher. We need to let kids solve thier own problems. It is stupid to be 100% involved in our kids lives. We need to let them take care of thier own problems. This is called growing up. I believe school is more than just learning subjects such as math and science, it is learning how to deal with people, and yes some of those people will be dicks. So our children need to learn how to deal with everyone and solve thier own problems
Yes, that is what I'm saying. If people would acutally teach kids to stand up and keep open minds then bullying wouldn't be a problem. However in the meantime we can help bullying victims.

Bullying is not part of growing up, it is harassment.

OMG.... a little bullying in school never hurt anyone. If anything it makes kids tougher. We need to let kids solve thier own problems. It is stupid to be 100% involved in our kids lives. We need to let them take care of thier own problems. This is called growing up. I believe school is more than just learning subjects such as math and science, it is learning how to deal with people, and yes some of those people will be dicks. So our children need to learn how to deal with everyone and solve thier own problems

And what about the people who are pushed further than anyone should be?

And what about the people who are pushed further than anyone should be?

*cough*COLUMBINE*cough*

snip.

Well, the bullying experienced in high school doesn't work like it does in the adult world. When you're bullied, you're isolated. Your friends don't stick by you because they fear that the same may happen to them. In fact, if they are in fear of their own social standing being impeded they'd gladly slit your throat and laugh with the rest of them in order to save their own hides. It's a terror state. It's a complicated caste system, your place within that caste system determined by those in the top echelons.

If you're a smallish child and you try to fight back you simply get walloped because it's you against a posse of people half-a-foot taller than you. Constant terrorism results in learned helplessness. Kids aren't taught to be cruel, in fact they're continually reminded to be nice and follow the rules. It's confusing to be treated in a way so incongruent with their indoctrination, but in order to escape the terrorism you must break the rules because the rules don't provide sufficient protection. Children, particularly the shy or meek, are presented with behaviour they don't understand and have never been encouraged to display or perhaps never had an inclination to pursue.

If it's ok to fight back, is it ok to shoot back? What if you're physically unable to return the agression? Is it then permissible to use a lead pipe? What happens when a kid reaches a breaking point after years of abuse and uses a fire extinguisher to bash their attacker's skull in? Or poison the aggressors food/gatorade? It's not exactly aggression, but it gets the job done. Even worse, what if the kid takes the poison himself?

Children don't have ethical compasses attuned as acutely as adults do. Consequences don't seem as "real", and when constantly terrorized sometimes being dead or locked in solitary confinement for thirty years seems like a sweet deal.

J.

I would advise those of you who restate already argued and resolved opinions to read the thread all the way through before you make any comments.

Thus, no one must bear witness to incredible posts of blunt, polarized stupidity.

Well, the bullying experienced in high school doesn't work like it does in the adult world. When you're bullied, you're isolated. Your friends don't stick by you because they fear that the same may happen to them. In fact, if they are in fear of their own social standing being impeded they'd gladly slit your throat and laugh with the rest of them in order to save their own hides. It's a terror state. It's a complicated caste system, your place within that caste system determined by those in the top echelons.

If you're a smallish child and you try to fight back you simply get walloped because it's you against a posse of people half-a-foot taller than you. Constant terrorism results in learned helplessness. Kids aren't taught to be cruel, in fact they're continually reminded to be nice and follow the rules. It's confusing to be treated in a way so incongruent with their indoctrination, but in order to escape the terrorism you must break the rules because the rules don't provide sufficient protection. Children, particularly the shy or meek, are presented with behaviour they don't understand and have never been encouraged to display or perhaps never had an inclination to pursue.

If it's ok to fight back, is it ok to shoot back? What if you're physically unable to return the agression? Is it then permissible to use a lead pipe? What happens when a kid reaches a breaking point after years of abuse and uses a fire extinguisher to bash their attacker's skull in? Or poison the aggressors food/gatorade? It's not exactly aggression, but it gets the job done. Even worse, what if the kid takes the poison himself?

Children don't have ethical compasses attuned as acutely as adults do. Consequences don't seem as "real", and when constantly terrorized sometimes being dead or locked in solitary confinement for thirty years seems like a sweet deal.

J.

I think you missed the earlier posts, too. Try reading them first.

Sorry, it's a pet peeve of mine.:)

I would advise those of you who restate already argued and resolved opinions to read the thread all the way through before you make any comments.

Thus, no one must bear witness to incredible posts of blunt, polarized stupidity.

Aww, you fancy me, don't you! :fluffle:

Thanks for the tip, I'm making an earnest attempt to post suitably. Anyone else up for beating me about the head, go for it!

btw, I did miss your missive.

J.

Yes, that is what I'm saying. If people "would" acutally teach kids to stand up and keep open minds then bullying wouldn't be a problem. However in the meantime we "can" help bullying victims.

Bullying is not part of growing up, it is harassment.

I bolded the buzzwords and put quotes around the operative words.

Firstly, what the hell does an "open mind" have to do with bullying? That only lets one listen to other people and accept different view points, but when it comes to making a decision it gets you absolutely nowhere. The matter is what can be done to allow for a supportive role not a protective one by the adults around the children.

"Standing up?" I'm sorry, it seems to me that certain laws that are meant to prohibit the attacks actually render the "victims" entirely helpless (contrary to how "we can help bullying victims") by accusing them of assualt ALSO in self defense.

"Teaching?" Teaching means nothing, it is what is learned that counts. You must have been taught much.

I quoted "can" and "would" to emphasize that, realistically, we don't. Once you distinguish the difference between protection and support and understand where their respective applications are, then you'll realize something else entirely. You'll need a more "open mind" here, though.

Honestly, "we" never will do anything. It's the individual efforts that pay off, not collectivist thinking.

Aww, you fancy me, don't you! :fluffle:

Thanks for the tip, I'm making an earnest attempt to post suitably. Anyone else up for beating me about the head, go for it!

btw, I did miss your missive.

J.

Not trying to be blunt myself, though. Yay, inadvertant hypocrisy!!:D

I had some difficulty with bullying in gradeschool. In eight grade, I began grow increasingly silly and mischievous, however. One day, I snuck behind the offending kid(An acne-laden monstrous beast who looked like he was three grades ahead) and depantsed him. He wasn't wearing underwear. I managed to escape, but two days later, I got pounded. Nevertheless, everything changed. I was no longer the 'geek'. People started to come to my aid more. The monster got a playful new nickname(Peachfuzz). Things started looking up. :)

As a prankster and all-around mischief maker in high school, I often preyed on those smaller or weaker than me. I also preyed on those older, larger and able to beat me into pudding. Back then, I guess I targeted those with no sense of humor or were easily annoyed. I loved pissing people off. I'm not sure when I reversed that habit and focused instead on those that COULD appreciate a good prank. Possibly around the high-school/college transition. *nod*

I had some difficulty with bullying in gradeschool. In eight grade, I began grow increasingly silly and mischievous, however. One day, I snuck behind the offending kid(An acne-laden monstrous beast who looked like he was three grades ahead) and depantsed him. He wasn't wearing underwear. I managed to escape, but two days later, I got pounded. Nevertheless, everything changed. I was no longer the 'geek'. People started to come to my aid more. The monster got a playful new nickname(Peachfuzz). Things started looking up. :)

As a prankster and all-around mischief maker in high school, I often preyed on those smaller or weaker than me. I also preyed on those older, larger and able to beat me into pudding. Back then, I guess I targeted those with no sense of humor or were easily annoyed. I loved pissing people off. I'm not sure when I reversed that habit and focused instead on those that COULD appreciate a good prank. Possibly around the high-school/college transition. *nod*


Well, at least the things you did seem pretty good natured. Can't say that I wasn't a bad little kid. I was hell.

OMG.... a little bullying in school never hurt anyone. If anything it makes kids tougher. We need to let kids solve thier own problems. It is stupid to be 100% involved in our kids lives. We need to let them take care of thier own problems. This is called growing up. I believe school is more than just learning subjects such as math and science, it is learning how to deal with people, and yes some of those people will be dicks. So our children need to learn how to deal with everyone and solve thier own problems

"A little bullying" may not be a terrible problem; unfortunately, bullying more often than not doesn't stop at "a little." Children certainly need to learn how to deal with jerks, but a big part of how one deals with jerks is getting help from people more capable of dealing with them. If, as an adult, I found myself being followed around by someone who kept punching me in the head and calling me a stupid ****, I would call the police. So why would I expect a child in a similar situation to deal with it single-handedly?

OMG.... a little bullying in school never hurt anyone. If anything it makes kids tougher. We need to let kids solve thier own problems. It is stupid to be 100% involved in our kids lives. We need to let them take care of thier own problems. This is called growing up. I believe school is more than just learning subjects such as math and science, it is learning how to deal with people, and yes some of those people will be dicks. So our children need to learn how to deal with everyone and solve thier own problems

Right. Bullying makes kids tougher. Give me a break. You know nothing. :rolleyes:

Sure kids should try to deal with their own problems but when some assholes decide to beat you up and even cause severe mental harm then they should get some help from somebody who can help them. But people don't care anyway so there really is no point in telling somebody.

honestly, saying people dont care or people dont do anything is being punitive and acenine. there are plenty of schools out there that do the best they can to punish kids for bullying. and the ones that dont do as much most probably worry about it, at the least.

but its impossible to get through all of the complaints. first of all, we are talking about general public schools, correct? these administrators serve thousands of kids and, normally, the people who are charged with stopping the fighting or the bullying, what have you, arent or cant be there to help you. sure, i was bullied the second half of elementary school, the first half of middle school, and the first half of high school, but i dont believe that there was anything more that the school couldve done for me (though at the time i hated the administration at the school) because of the volume of my high school.

sure, things like columbine happen because of bullying (im still mad at the people who were mad at the shooters, calling them "monsters" though they were picked on consistently) but theres only so much that can be done

When iwas being bullied, i told myself to either bully or be bullied

i took the first one.

Now i neither bully nor bulllied

(snip) What I've noticed is that most girls in college when saying what they think begin their sentences with: "I hate to bring this up but..." or "I hope you don't mind me saying this..." In my opinion this is because in Middle School when a guy says something no matter how "stupid" or "weird" it is nobody cares but when a girl does the rest of the class looks at her funny and says she's being "weird." This shows that bullying does teach the life long valuable lessons :rolleyes: of shutting up, keeping a low profile, and avoiding contraversy. What a coincidence is it that these attributes are predominate in our culture right now.

Well, at least the things you did seem pretty good natured. Can't say that I wasn't a bad little kid. I was hell.

Some of it was pretty malicious when I was younger. But I didn't automatically target people younger or weaker than me. Sometimes I got beaten up for some of the things I did. :p

I had plenty of problems in school. I was book-smart, but with crappy social skills. I was mediocre at most sports. And, though I was tall, I was also skinny, and even guys who were shorter than I outweighed me.

But it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I went to school before "zero-tolerance", so if some big oaf started pushing me around, I'd push back. And what I lacked in size, I made up for in nerve. They soon learned that I'd fight anyone, no matter how big the were, or how many there were, and after one fight, they nearly always moved to easier targets.

I also suffered verbal abuse, and isolation. But I had a pretty sharp tounge myself, and gave as good as I got.

Some people say bullying toughens you up. I agree. But it's still hell, and the kind of crap you have to put up with in school doesn't happen anywhere else, except prison. Any adult who gets physically abusive risks jail. Any adult who gets verbally abusive risks lawsuits. I think a certain amount of bullying is inevitable, but it should not be encouraged.

I had plenty of problems in school. I was book-smart, but with crappy social skills. I was mediocre at most sports. And, though I was tall, I was also skinny, and even guys who were shorter than I outweighed me.

But it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I went to school before "zero-tolerance", so if some big oaf started pushing me around, I'd push back. And what I lacked in size, I made up for in nerve. They soon learned that I'd fight anyone, no matter how big the were, or how many there were, and after one fight, they nearly always moved to easier targets.

I also suffered verbal abuse, and isolation. But I had a pretty sharp tounge myself, and gave as good as I got.

Some people say bullying toughens you up. I agree. But it's still hell, and the kind of crap you have to put up with in school doesn't happen anywhere else, except prison. Any adult who gets physically abusive risks jail. Any adult who gets verbally abusive risks lawsuits. I think a certain amount of bullying is inevitable, but it should not be encouraged.

YEah, bullying isn't too bad when it comes in small amounts, kids are always goign to be cruel. But when it's consistent and causes psychological damage, it should be stopped.

And most kids have nowhere to turn to because no adult thinks it's a problem. In the workplace adults can do something about their bullies. In adulthood (I avoid saying the "real world") you can either sue or press charges if somebody's being abusive. In school it's dismissed as "kids are being kids" and ignored, and then when the victims bring guns to school they are monsters even though they never got help.

Oh really? Your advice is the entire reason bullies are allowed to continue. Your daughters have been raised to be strong and not take crap. I took it and didn't know what to do with it. Not everyone can just "cowboy up" when somebody constantly harasses you for something you can't control for 5 years straight, dipstick, and I got harassed about it from my own mother, who told me several times that I should be more like my sister. I am NOT a stupid socialite ditz like my sister, and wouldn't have been otherwise.

This is the weakling crap I was talking about. Now its your mothers fault....right.

You call my adult, expereinced advice bullshit because I am demanding you be responsible for yourself.

As I said your momma cant hold your hand forever and luckily it looks like she has no intention too.

Anyone can cowboy up, I have seen kids with Metal Handicaps handle bullies, cripples in wheel chairs, and littel girls, so what is your excuse....weakness?...hardly....laziness.

You want protection from Bullies--grow a spine, and use your damned head instead of whining and being a rat.

Its perpetual victims like you that keep bullies around.

I know this is a really old thread, but most of us have been there.

Girls fight dirtier than boys and hold their grudges longer. :upyours:

Good luck.

This is the weakling crap I was talking about. Now its your mothers fault....right.

You call my adult, expereinced advice bullshit because I am demanding you be responsible for yourself.

As I said your momma cant hold your hand forever and luckily it looks like she has no intention too.

Anyone can cowboy up, I have seen kids with Metal Handicaps handle bullies, cripples in wheel chairs, and littel girls, so what is your excuse....weakness?...hardly....laziness.

You want protection from Bullies--grow a spine, and use your damned head instead of whining and being a rat.

Its perpetual victims like you that keep bullies around.

I tried to stand up for myself. It got worse. Kids were harder and harder and just shrugged it off.

I am not being a "pereptual victim"- it's idiots like you who let bulling continue.

This is the weakling crap I was talking about. Now its your mothers fault....right.

You call my adult, expereinced advice bullshit because I am demanding you be responsible for yourself.

As I said your momma cant hold your hand forever and luckily it looks like she has no intention too.

Anyone can cowboy up, I have seen kids with Metal Handicaps handle bullies, cripples in wheel chairs, and littel girls, so what is your excuse....weakness?...hardly....laziness.

You want protection from Bullies--grow a spine, and use your damned head instead of whining and being a rat.

Its perpetual victims like you that keep bullies around.
And its apathetic people like you that created columbine.

The problem with bullying is i find that it is not necessarily needed to a point. A little joking is ok. Like my friends call me hillbilly becaus i'm a redneck. But if they were to constantly call me that and make fun of me it would be teasing instead i do not allow them to. I have already got in a fight with a kid about making fun of my roots and or The way i speak. I don't mind bullying as long as it isn't to bad and i personally try not to.

Maybe that's why I'm shy... Oh well. I don't really have friends I do things with outside of school. I try not to wonder about it though because I tend to be paranoid...

My imagination was a bit dark, I actually thought about striking back and hurting the people who hurt me, and sometimes worse.

Well you were only bullied because you did not fight back. Maybe you should have done less thinking and more punching in the face.

My father used to beat me with an iron bar from the coffee table when I used to go to Catholic school. As a result, I bullied some kids...then I moved to Jersey. The majority of kids were alright, but some of the assholes here were...really assholes. So, yeah. I've bullied, been bullied, and now in my high school bullying really doesn't exist in as many pockets as in the Middle School. Most of the dumb idiots are kept in line by the upperclassmen (a sort of indirect "policing" of the school.) And the really, really dumb idiots got themselves arrested (Courtesy of robbing QuickShops with a gun for a pack of ciggarettes).

All in all, bullying is a serious problem, but if you can manage to pull through with some good friends, the problem eventually dies down. Bullying still takes place here, but they're isolated incidends that occur once a year or so.

(That and an armed member of the Bergenfield PD patrolling the Middle School keeps the mayhem at bay)

Dont blame your dad for your behavior. Own up to it. Whiner.

And its apathetic people like you that created columbine.

Ummm I think it is bullies and adults who coddled the bullies that created columbine.

Dont blame your dad for your behavior. Own up to it. Whiner.


The Vuhifellian States did not whine at all in that post.

Pffft.

L O S E R

Pffft.

L O S E R

Who?

Who?

The OP, Darknovae. I just remembered how we treated the girls like her in my school. They were losers, and deserved to be treated like such.

The proper policy for dealing with bullying, IMO: The teacher should take a wooden paddle and whap it across the bully's ass. If the bully repeats his/her behavior, expulsion should follow.

I'm a bully. Those who I bully have a reason to be bullied. I was bullied, and people had a reason to bully me, and because of it, I came to realize what was wrong with me and became a better person.

When I was younger, I was bullyed, but I am better for it. It thoughened me up. Kids need do toughen up. For example, as a sophmore (last year), some assholes on my cross country team put ipecac in my water at a team dinner the night before, the next day, at our race, I kicked both kids asses. I am now a happy sixteen year old junior, with plenty of friends, no one needs to be the most popular, just have a close circle, and have qualifed for state in Cross country twice, and track once (hopefully a second time this coming season:rolleyes:). The kids who have a serious problem with bullying are the ones who refuse to fight back through allowed pathways, and who have a secret desire to be popular. To those people I say, who gives a damn who is popular, just be yourself, and you will find the people that you fit in with, that is the only way to get through life.

The OP, Darknovae. I just remembered how we treated the girls like her in my school. They were losers, and deserved to be treated like such.

Yeah you are an idiot. Nobody deserves to get bullied.

It's funny how a thread about bullying makes everyone revert to about age 13.

Yeah you are an idiot. Nobody deserves to get bullied.

Untrue. Assholes do.

The OP, Darknovae. I just remembered how we treated the girls like her in my school. They were losers, and deserved to be treated like such.
*headbutts Aelosia*
FIX'D


In middle school, I got bullied a lot, becuase I'm a year younger than all of my classmates, and about 30 pounds lighter. I also had a timid nature (still do, to a certain extend), few friends, and am white.

Now I weigh 150 (still about 30 lbs lighter, but still), have reach, and willingness to defend myself. I regard my being bullied as a good thing, because, while it made me want to die in middle school, it has made me stand up for myself nowadays, it's forced me to learn how to make friends, and it's given me plenty of stories. :D

Untrue. Assholes do.

Pancake =/= asshole. You = n00b = asshole.

Yeah you are an idiot. Nobody deserves to get bullied.

Yeah, of course, because you never were subject of a prank, or played pranks on other young students.

Go away with your fake morality. Those who end bullied suffer because of their lack of personality and self confidence, and tend to take pranks too seriously. In the end, they only attract more pranks, and finally end bullied as they become the escape valve of all those who surround them.

Pancake =/= asshole. You = n00b = asshole.

?
So your saying that those egocentric, asshole, unrespectful little shithead kind of kids shouldn't be bullied?

And noob? Sure, maybe back in 2004, but not presently.

*headbutts Aelosia*
FIX'D


In middle school, I got bullied a lot, becuase I'm a year younger than all of my classmates, and about 30 pounds lighter. I also had a timid nature (still do, to a certain extend), few friends, and am white.

Now I weigh 150 (still about 30 lbs lighter, but still), have reach, and willingness to defend myself. I regard my being bullied as a good thing, because, while it made me want to die in middle school, it has made me stand up for myself nowadays, it's forced me to learn how to make friends, and it's given me plenty of stories. :D

First, we girls hardly bully people physically. Second, you wouldn't dare to headbutt me in real life, not because I am phisically impressive as you are bragging about, but because I tend to show some self confidence to others based on my own abilities.

I was TWO years younger than my classmates, I had no mother meanwhile everyone else had one, and was the shortest and thinner girl in the class. Not only that, I was a bookworm, and a pedantic know-it-all. Didn't get bullied, I wonder why.

Oh, I know, I still loved myself.

*headbutts Aelosia*
FIX'D


In middle school, I got bullied a lot, becuase I'm a year younger than all of my classmates, and about 30 pounds lighter. I also had a timid nature (still do, to a certain extend), few friends, and am white.

Now I weigh 150 (still about 30 lbs lighter, but still), have reach, and willingness to defend myself. I regard my being bullied as a good thing, because, while it made me want to die in middle school, it has made me stand up for myself nowadays, it's forced me to learn how to make friends, and it's given me plenty of stories. :D

You are in my boat, only I am now a junior, and I weigh 115 lbs. I agree, that bullying makes kids stronger, see my above post

You are in my boat, only I am now a junior, and I weigh 115 lbs. I agree, that bullying makes kids stronger, see my above post

Wow, you're 16 years old. Impressive. How mature you are, you have already learned how to fight your way through life.

Let me know when you arrive to college or university and learn that there are far more interesting and clever ways to bully someone than just beating someone up as you males do in High School.

Wow, you're 16 years old. Impressive. How mature you are, you have already learned how to fight your way through life.

Let me know when you arrive to college or university and learn that there are far more interesting and clever ways to bully someone than just beating someone up as you males do in High School.

I have only been in two fights in my life, once when a group of wanna-be gangsters tried an mug me (little did they know that I am a brown belt in Karate, and am on the varsity wrestling team) and when a group of kids were pounding on a kid outside a movie theater. I fight through different channels, athletic competion, using my intellectual prowess, and the occasional passive intimidation of bullies by getting my buddies together and confronting them, non-violently.

I was TWO years younger than my classmates, I had no mother meanwhile everyone else had one, and was the shortest and thinner girl in the class.


Gee, sounds like the self-pitying whining you have no problem ascribing to others.

Keep telling yourself about how self-confident you are, because what you've said here and how you spoke of the OP speaks volumes about that.

To the rest of you trying to justify bullying behavior: Bullies are bullies because they are insecure, weak punks who are terrified that everyone else will figure it out. The only reason they bully others is not because others deserve it -- it's because it's the only way they can feel strong and worthwhile -- by being a complete asshole.

[snip]
To the rest of you trying to justify bullying behavior: Bullies are bullies because they are insecure, weak punks who are terrified that everyone else will figure it out. The only reason they bully others is not because others deserve it -- it's because it's the only way they can feel strong and worthwhile -- by being a complete asshole.
To my fellow stan:
Being bullied strengthens kids, allowing them to become more effective later on in life. The anti-bullying movement needs to teach kids how to be non-violent but agressive against bullies

Gee, sounds like the self-pitying whining you have no problem ascribing to others.

Keep telling yourself about how self-confident you are, because what you've said here and how you spoke of the OP speaks volumes about that.

To the rest of you trying to justify bullying behavior: Bullies are bullies because they are insecure, weak punks who are terrified that everyone else will figure it out. The only reason they bully others is not because others deserve it -- it's because it's the only way they can feel strong and worthwhile -- by being a complete asshole.

Of course you missed the sarcastic point entirely, but that's ok because it serves your debating point, I guess.

Oh, but you are a teacher of some sorts, if I recall correctly, so I guess that makes you a specialist about bullying, and you have been successful in fighting said social phenomena.

I was bullied a lot and it made me very shy and such, but I eventually managed to end most of it and get a reputation as a scary "calm tough guy" type.

From about the first grade until 7th I did nothing but fight. I was kind of small and weak looking so I was a big target. As a kid, everyone is about the same strenght and I would fight with everyone...constantly. It wouldnt matter that they got beat up after they jumped me...it would just mean that next time they would have to bring more friends which would make my friends jump in to help and led to some massive fights that in on school led to a policy change to segregate all grade levels =)

In Jr. High (7th grade) my parents put me in martial arts, figuring that in highschool, guys would be tougher and they didnt want me getting killed. Once I started martial arts I became a pacafist. I kind of took the whole "dont fight unless you really have to" discipline thing a bit too far. Once people found out I wouldnt fight back, they just assumped I was scared of them and went hog wild with the bullying. It was absolute hell for 5 years. They did just about everything minus physical beatings stronger than about one or two hits/kicks (only because I could be very intimidating if I started to get mad.)

I might add, I wasnt a smart kid either...I was totally average, so I couldnt even rationalize "at least I have good grades" because I didn't.

Anyway, one day early senior year a kid just ran up and punched me in the face. I just ignored it so he punched me again. I gave him a dirty look this time and he didnt like that so he punched me a third time. That knocked my glasses off so I calmly told him he better pick my glasses up "now". His punches really didn't hurt but I scared the crap out of him by showing so little response to his facepunches and I got a reputation out of that and quite a few bullies left me alone.

What finally made all the bullies leave me alone though was when for some reason my martial arts studio did some big demonstration in an assembly. I was in it breaking boards with crazy jump kicks and after that BAM, I was never bothered again.

It sure took a long enough time though, and it absolutly killed my self esteem. I never had any friends, I wasn't even able to date a girl until I was 21. =(

It was a big school so most teachers wouldnt see anything (and they would most likely stop it, so good for them.) The gym teachers though would encourage it. Honestly, they would watch and they would congradulate the bully afterwards. What the heck?

I think US bullying is real bad, wasnt it tied with Czech Republic for worst in the world a little while ago? It probably could be reduced by a lot if the right measures were put in place. You don't see much bullying going on in the adult world, and its not because everyone "grew up", its because instead of a slap on the wrists, they slap on the handcuffs.

I was bullied a lot and it made me very shy and such, but I eventually managed to end most of it and get a reputation as a scary "calm tough guy" type.

From about the first grade until 7th I did nothing but fight. I was kind of small and weak looking so I was a big target. As a kid, everyone is about the same strenght and I would fight with everyone...constantly. It wouldnt matter that they got beat up after they jumped me...it would just mean that next time they would have to bring more friends which would make my friends jump in to help and led to some massive fights that in on school led to a policy change to segregate all grade levels =)

In Jr. High (7th grade) my parents put me in martial arts, figuring that in highschool, guys would be tougher and they didnt want me getting killed. Once I started martial arts I became a pacafist. I kind of took the whole "dont fight unless you really have to" discipline thing a bit too far. Once people found out I wouldnt fight back, they just assumped I was scared of them and went hog wild with the bullying. It was absolute hell for 5 years. They did just about everything minus physical beatings stronger than about one or two hits/kicks (only because I could be very intimidating if I started to get mad.)

I might add, I wasnt a smart kid either...I was totally average, so I couldnt even rationalize "at least I have good grades" because I didn't.

Anyway, one day early senior year a kid just ran up and punched me in the face. I just ignored it so he punched me again. I gave him a dirty look this time and he didnt like that so he punched me a third time. That knocked my glasses off so I calmly told him he better pick my glasses up "now". His punches really didn't hurt but I scared the crap out of him by showing so little response to his facepunches and I got a reputation out of that and quite a few bullies left me alone.

What finally made all the bullies leave me alone though was when for some reason my martial arts studio did some big demonstration in an assembly. I was in it breaking boards with crazy jump kicks and after that BAM, I was never bothered again.

It sure took a long enough time though, and it absolutly killed my self esteem. I never had any friends, I wasn't even able to date a girl until I was 21. =(

It was a big school so most teachers wouldnt see anything (and they would most likely stop it, so good for them.) The gym teachers though would encourage it. Honestly, they would watch and they would congradulate the bully afterwards. What the heck?

I think US bullying is real bad, wasnt it tied with Czech Republic for worst in the world a little while ago? It probably could be reduced by a lot if the right measures were put in place. You don't see much bullying going on in the adult world, and its not because everyone "grew up", its because instead of a slap on the wrists, they slap on the handcuffs.

It sounds like the bullying could have ended a hell of a lot sooner if you kicked their ass.

To my fellow stan:
Being bullied strengthens kids, allowing them to become more effective later on in life. The anti-bullying movement needs to teach kids how to be non-violent but agressive against bullies

Being bullied does nothing but destroy self-esteem, or breed violence. But hey, keep justifying harassment and assault.

I bet everyone in prison for assault and rape were just doing it for the good of their fellow man -- toughening them up.

Oftentimes, people who are uncertain about their own identity, and have little emotional attachment to something, find that they can feel somewhat fulfilled by mocking other people's attachment to something. This factor is certainly involved in the operations of bullies.

Lookin' at you Fass

I get the distinct impression that those arguing that "bullying builds character" or similar lines don't actually know what bullying is. We're not talking about half a dozen fights through your your school life with different people we're talking about consistent harassmant, both physical and verbal by same individual or group of individuals over and extended period.

I caught it right from year 1 through to the day I left school. Why? because I was an ethnic minority in my school. In junior they taught us "local history" which covered just how bad "my group" had been to their group. That started it and it pretty much got worse from there.

Through out junior I had constant badgering and harassment from two people, one female one male. The male used to wait to ambush me with his brother on the way home from school to the extent that I used to walk a 2 mile journey for what was actually a half mile trip just to avoid him.

I got sent to a different school for secondary and I thought a chance for a fresh start was there, but no, the girl ended up going to the same school as I did. So it all started over. I was constantly harrassed because of where I was born, memories include being surrounded by groups of 6 or more on many occasions to be being beaten for reasons ranging from being posh, for supporting the wrong soccer team, for supporting no soccer team, for being gay (which I am not) and for being brighter than they were. Basically anything at all by which they could even remotely justify to themselves having a go at me for. I got consistently high grades which pissed them off, not the least of which was high grades in THEIR language. I remember being hung out of a second story classroom window by one of the older kids on a few occasions, one time I was very nearly dropped and the guy struggled to pull me back in. I also had my underpants physically ripped from me on one occasion which is WAY beyond a simple wedgie it took two older kids to do it. I was told daily that I was scum because of my country of birth, that I had no right to be there and that I should "go home".

"You should have hit them back!" I hear people cry. Well one time I did, one kid was following me arround giving me random kidney punches and after four or 5 I lost my temper and turned around and lamped him. He ran away. Come next break though I found myself surrounded by the kid I had hit and several of his friends, I was promptly carried bodily down to the school gardens for a "sorting", luckily though I managed to escape only to have the same kid sneak up on me and shove my face into a lamp post while I was waiting for the bus home. It was denied of course and the school believed him because (in front of the teachers) he was such a well behaved kid and would never attack anyone like that, so I was lying.

You'd think it was just the kids, but no I got it from the teachers too. Not physically, but psychologically. Remember I had consistently high grades, well I did. Until my last year in school. I got a different math teacher who decidedly did NOT want any of "my kind" in his classroom. He first of all bullied two into leaving, one of which had to leave the school completely because having dropped Math, he was not doing enough subjects to stay. I however was doing Math, Physics and Chemistry. And I knew I was good at math, the previous years I had consistent A grades. But this guy had it in for me. If the people he liked asked questions then he would answer, if I asked he told me straight that I was wasting time and that I should come back at lunch time for him to explain it. I would go back and he would be sitting there eating his lunch and marking books. He would refuse to talk to me because he was "busy" and I would have to wait. Neither was I allowed to eat my lunch in his class. So I would miss my lunch and he would spend the entire time being busy until the bell rang to start class again and I was kicked out of the room. His other tricks revolved around telling me I would never ammount to anything, that I should go home and stop wasting my time trying to learn, asking at registry (he was my form tutor too) why I had bothered turning up today and just generally being aggressive or totally dismissive in his attitude towards me. My grades that year dropped from A-A-B to D-E and Ungraded. Incidentally although many of the kids that bullied had left by the time I got to these last 2 years of school there were still enough left to destroy my personal belongings when I didnt have them on me and give me broken ribs on one occasion.

Oddly enough I had a best friend who was of the main ethnic group. I used to visit him on weekends and we'd do things like homework, play computer games, go swimming etc, all the while I'd be speaking his language. One time though I had a brain fart and asked a question in English. On the monday in school the physics teacher approached me and explained ever so nicely that she was a personal friend of my friends parents and that they had heard me speaking english to their son and that I was no longer welcome at their house because I was being disrespectful. Outside of school I never saw my friend again.

The last year of school ate up what little was left of my self esteem and it took until 10 years later when I re-sat my exams and got the grades I should have to get even a shred of it back.

You may be wondering which ethnic group I belong to, well I'm white caucasian and so were the people that bullied me. Why do I say I was in a minority? because although I was born in central England I grew up and went to school in Wales.

Bullies dont always come at you one on one, they more often come at you in overwhelming numbers. Even two on one is often enough to overwhelm. They may be cowards underneath but they know there is safety in numbers and their aggression and cruelty are fed by the confidence that having a comrade or five instills. Yeah, the bullying in my tale was based on Racism but it's still bullying.

By the way, I do not consider myself English, but neither am I Welsh Scottish or Irish. I am BRITISH.

Now I feel angry :D so I'm going to do the British thing and sit down and have a cup of tea, hot, with milk and sugar.

Oftentimes, people who are uncertain about their own identity, and have little emotional attachment to something, find that they can feel somewhat fulfilled by mocking other people's attachment to something. This factor is certainly involved in the operations of bullies.

Lookin' at you Fass

Oh, grow some skin already. :rolleyes:

OMG.... a little bullying in school never hurt anyone. If anything it makes kids tougher. We need to let kids solve thier own problems. It is stupid to be 100% involved in our kids lives. We need to let them take care of thier own problems. This is called growing up. I believe school is more than just learning subjects such as math and science, it is learning how to deal with people, and yes some of those people will be dicks. So our children need to learn how to deal with everyone and solve thier own problems

What you mean a bit of bullying doesnt hurt anyone?? I still havent got my self confidence back, even tho im at uni now. (brilliant place is uni, everyones different and everyone was the intelligent kid at school so people just go "meh, so what if your different?")

Oh, grow some skin already. :rolleyes:

I grew some skin, I just don't feel like dealing with someone who's so incredibly unsure of themselves that they feel it's necessary to go out of their way to deride other people and their interests. To do so is a waste of my time.

I've got far more positive things to do than deal with someone who can only feel better by mocking others, instead of getting things that he can identify with.

Beyond that, I've got plenty thick skin. You just need to grow up.

To my fellow stan:
Being bullied strengthens kids, allowing them to become more effective later on in life. The anti-bullying movement needs to teach kids how to be non-violent but agressive against bullies
Dear god, the last few pages of this thread killed almost as many brain cells as the 'Israel-Nazis' thread.

Oh, by the way, would you people say it's a good idea for people to get mugged so they can deal with getting mugged in the future, or perhaps for black people to have the KKK set crosses on fire outside their house, as it will 'strengthen' them?

Dear god, the last few pages of this thread killed almost as many brain cells as the 'Israel-Nazis' thread.

Oh, by the way, would you people say it's a good idea for people to get mugged so they can deal with getting mugged in the future, or perhaps for black people to have the KKK set crosses on fire outside their house, as it will 'strengthen' them?

*cheers*
Bullying doesnt strengthen people, it jsut kills their self confidence. Anyway, no-one should need that sort of strength if there was any way to stop bullying.

I grew some skin, I just don't feel like dealing with someone who's so incredibly unsure of themselves that they feel it's necessary to go out of their way to deride other people and their interests. To do so is a waste of my time.

I've got far more positive things to do than deal with someone who can only feel better by mocking others, instead of getting things that he can identify with.

Beyond that, I've got plenty thick skin. You just need to grow up.

Yeah, that's why you insert little passive-aggressive white text messages in your posts, to show me just how much you exactly don't want to deal with blah blah blah? So, I don't like your stupid country or you - get over it.

Most bullies are GIRLS, retards! UGH! IDIOTS! It's people who are so woefully ignorant about preteens that make me daydream about lightning hitting my old middle school! :mad:

That is so true. When I was ain high school I found that the boys were much more accepting. They didn't care that my clothes were out of fashion etc. they didn't tease or gossip about others.

I was never bullied as a kid. Other kids were, but not me.

I attribute this to my willingness to call the police if I were assaulted. I'm anti-social anyway, so nothing short of violence or propery crime was really going to bother me, and for those two I had a legal recourse. And I made sure everyone knew it.

Remember boy cooties and girl cooties? In second grade, there was a type of cootie named specifically after me. People wouldn't touch me, sit next to me or even step on a floor tile that I had stepped on for fear of getting my cooties. It was horrible.

The ironic thing is, I've never had lice.

Being bullied does nothing but destroy self-esteem, or breed violence. But hey, keep justifying harassment and assault.

I bet everyone in prison for assault and rape were just doing it for the good of their fellow man -- toughening them up.

Uhh, have you not been listening to everything I have been saying in this post.

Bullys are fun i'm the anti bully and i get in fights often with bullys and often get suspended after whipping a bullys ass good. Today i got in a fight with a bully and broke 2 of my knuckles on his face needless to say i don't think he'll be bullying as much. I weigh in at 160 pound and bench 200 pounds and am A Linebacker on the Junior Varsity Football team. I was bullied extremely badly when i was younger becaus i'm hairy. Now I couldn't give a care if someone says i'm hairy becaus more than likely i can kick there ass. I'm a sophmore Also and now that me and a group of guys pick on the bullys theres not as much of a problem at my school. The bullys are now becoming the Bullied.
Jocks>Bullys.
Also the only reason why i defend the picked on is becaus i have two younger brothers who are both picked on and are nerds. They don't deserve to be treated badly no one does.

-Snip-

Why didn't you learn Jiu-Jitsu or something?

Bullys are fun i'm the anti bully and i get in fights often with bullys and often get suspended after whipping a bullys ass good. Today i got in a fight with a bully and broke 2 of my knuckles on his face needless to say i don't think he'll be bullying as much. I weigh in at 160 pound and bench 200 pounds and am A Linebacker on the Junior Varsity Football team. I was bullied extremely badly when i was younger becaus i'm hairy. Now I couldn't give a care if someone says i'm hairy becaus more than likely i can kick there ass. I'm a sophmore Also and now that me and a group of guys pick on the bullys theres not as much of a problem at my school. The bullys are now becoming the Bullied.
Jocks>Bullys.
Also the only reason why i defend the picked on is becaus i have two younger brothers who are both picked on and are nerds. They don't deserve to be treated badly no one does.

Hairy = manly

Bullys are fun i'm the anti bully and i get in fights often with bullys and often get suspended after whipping a bullys ass good. Today i got in a fight with a bully and broke 2 of my knuckles on his face needless to say i don't think he'll be bullying as much. I weigh in at 160 pound and bench 200 pounds and am A Linebacker on the Junior Varsity Football team. I was bullied extremely badly when i was younger becaus i'm hairy. Now I couldn't give a care if someone says i'm hairy becaus more than likely i can kick there ass. I'm a sophmore Also and now that me and a group of guys pick on the bullys theres not as much of a problem at my school. The bullys are now becoming the Bullied.
Jocks>Bullys.
Also the only reason why i defend the picked on is becaus i have two younger brothers who are both picked on and are nerds. They don't deserve to be treated badly no one does.

First of all buddy, being on the JV football team does not make you that amazing, I am on the varsity cross country and track teams, and have gone to state for the past two years in CC and last year in track. 200 is not that great of a bench, I weigh 115 lbs. and I can bench 205, it is not something to be proud of. Finally, have you ever gotten it through your thick skull that you are now the bully.

It's also a great deal of the bystanders fault. Bullying now is kind of something where the bystanders watch it, then just let it go. Kids need to be taught to step in when they see a class mate being bullied and just be like, "Dude, chill out and leave him alone." to the bully.

Also, some of the teachers these days are fucking morons. My little sister got bullied for a while in 2nd grade, and if she tried to tell the teacher he wouldn't acknowlgde it. My mom called the prinicpal and told her about it, and then the teacher was talked to about controlling his class. So telling your parent's could be a big help too if your in that situation.

First of all buddy, being on the JV football team does not make you that amazing, I am on the varsity cross country and track teams, and have gone to state for the past two years in CC and last year in track. 200 is not that great of a bench, I weigh 115 lbs. and I can bench 205, it is not something to be proud of. Finally, have you ever gotten it through your thick skull that you are now the bully.



Owned.


Yea, dude, being on a JV football team doesn't mean your that great. I'm a freshmen, and I might make varsity for indoor track this year.

And Buristan's completly right. Your the bully now. So what happens when someone walks by and sees you and your friends pushing around a single kid? You all find yourself in some comfy chairs at Mr. Principals, because your too fucking stupid to realize more violence isn't gonna help the situation. Now if it was your younger brothers being picked on, then by all means kick the kids ass. I see no problem with that.

My one friend didn't like this kid when he first moved to his neighborhood, but he never got in a fight with him or anything because he didn't really have a reason too. Then one day, his younger brother went to play hockey with a bunch of kids and the kid was there. My friend's little brother ended up annoying the hell out of the kid my friend didn't like. My friend and his brother who is a year younger then him were walking down the street toward the hockey game, and right when they come into view of it, the kid my friend hated grabbed his little brother and started strangling him. My friend and his brother sprinted down, then beat the shit out of the kid.

Nothing wrong with that.

Bullys are fun i'm the anti bully and i get in fights often with bullys and often get suspended after whipping a bullys ass good. Today i got in a fight with a bully and broke 2 of my knuckles on his face needless to say i don't think he'll be bullying as much. I weigh in at 160 pound and bench 200 pounds and am A Linebacker on the Junior Varsity Football team. I was bullied extremely badly when i was younger becaus i'm hairy. Now I couldn't give a care if someone says i'm hairy becaus more than likely i can kick there ass. I'm a sophmore Also and now that me and a group of guys pick on the bullys theres not as much of a problem at my school. The bullys are now becoming the Bullied.
Jocks>Bullys.
Also the only reason why i defend the picked on is becaus i have two younger brothers who are both picked on and are nerds. They don't deserve to be treated badly no one does.
*cough*bullshit*cough*
If you're down two knuckles, how are you typing?
First of all buddy, being on the JV football team does not make you that amazing, I am on the varsity cross country and track teams, and have gone to state for the past two years in CC and last year in track. 200 is not that great of a bench, I weigh 115 lbs. and I can bench 205, it is not something to be proud of. Finally, have you ever gotten it through your thick skull that you are now the bully.
Man, last time I benched, I could barely lift 50 pounds.
I mean, I was 11 or 12 at the time, and was smaller than everyone else... but still. It's pretty sad.
It's also a great deal of the bystanders fault. Bullying now is kind of something where the bystanders watch it, then just let it go. Kids need to be taught to step in when they see a class mate being bullied and just be like, "Dude, chill out and leave him alone." to the bully.
That's how I've gotten into the majority of my high-school fights...
Even trying to calmly defuse the situation can drive some of these jackasses over the edge. A couple weeks ago, some guy tried to trip a friend of mine, and my friend just turned around and said, "Hey, man, there's enough hallway for both of us." A few seconds later, my friend had lost a pint of blood, had a broken nose, and a huge gash over his left eye. :rolleyes:
It seems whenever a 'cracka' stands up to a 'gangsta', it's a racist attack against all black people.

Also, some of the teachers these days are fucking morons. My little sister got bullied for a while in 2nd grade, and if she tried to tell the teacher he wouldn't acknowlgde it. My mom called the prinicpal and told her about it, and then the teacher was talked to about controlling his class. So telling your parent's could be a big help too if your in that situation.

The staff at my school does not help at all. The majority of the security staff is racist, the administration is incompetent. And the teachers... well, we live in a world were the bullies could have guns, and the teachers have no way of defending against that.

the Thing about bullying amongst guys is that most of it isn't bullying. well from my experince atleast but i go to a school of less than 700 people so this might be be true.

Guys will give each other a hard time. it is a fact of life. even the smartest preppiest kids in my grade of 30, give the rest of us a hard time if we do something stupid. If you can't tell the differnce then you are a retard.

Yeah, that's why you insert little passive-aggressive white text messages in your posts, to show me just how much you exactly don't want to deal with blah blah blah? So, I don't like your stupid country or you - get over it.

My point is that you're an individual who is so insecure about who exactly he is, that you feel you must define yourself by what you dislike, rather than actually defining yourself. I've repeatedly seen you go out of your way to mock people who have different interests than you. I've seen you try to cut down other peoples identities (and as any social psychologist will tell you, national identitty is a vital part of many peoples identities). What irks me is that you go out of your way to be an ass. You are the perfect example of an individual who fits the classic type of the bully.

You are pathetic.

Everyone, Exhibit A of the bitter child.

I guess my using Fass as my favorite sample of a classic weak-identity bully is running the mod-bomb risk, but, hey, I've been around for a while anyway. So, if you must, blast away, although I'd prefer that I get a moments warning so that I might get a chance to say "laters" to you all.

Man, last time I benched, I could barely lift 50 pounds.
I mean, I was 11 or 12 at the time, and was smaller than everyone else... but still. It's pretty sad.

Thanks, it is never to late to get in shape though, you ought to go work out sometime. Don't give me the credit though, most of it goes to my weights coach (who also coaches me in track) he is one of the best in the state of Colorado

I'm a freshmen, and I might make varsity for indoor track this year.

Your school has an varsity indoor team? I am in club right now. That is awesome, I made varsity in Cross country my freshmen year, and was an alternate in the 4X800, a relay that went to state, getting sixth. Are you in college or high school?

I guess my using Fass as my favorite sample of a classic weak-identity bully is running the mod-bomb risk, but, hey, I've been around for a while anyway. So, if you must, blast away, although I'd prefer that I get a moments warning so that I might get a chance to say "laters" to you all.

Meh. Fass can be alright sometimes, but you're right about him.

You are pathetic.

Everyone, Exhibit A of the bitter child.

I'm loving the irony of those two lines juxtaposed. Allow me to savour it.

There. Done. You poor thing.

Remember boy cooties and girl cooties? In second grade, there was a type of cootie named specifically after me. People wouldn't touch me, sit next to me or even step on a floor tile that I had stepped on for fear of getting my cooties. It was horrible.

The ironic thing is, I've never had lice.

Oddly enough, a classmate of mine was treated exactly the same way when I was in second grade. Perhaps personalized cooties are some sort of global second-grade phenomenon. :p

(To my seven-year-old self's credit, I recall that I never joined in that particular game. Of course, to my seven-year-old self's discredit, I also recall being relieved that someone else was bearing the worst of the bullying for a while...)

I for one like he football guy a few posts ago who beats up bullies. He is not, as many of you ascertain, a bully. A bully picks on isolated and weak children, who are different or lacking in confidence. Of they actually deserved such treatment it wouldnt be bullying. Its just karma. In jock fist form.

Oddly enough, a classmate of mine was treated exactly the same way when I was in second grade. Perhaps personalized cooties are some sort of global second-grade phenomenon. :p

(To my seven-year-old self's credit, I recall that I never joined in that particular game. Of course, to my seven-year-old self's discredit, I also recall being relieved that someone else was bearing the worst of the bullying for a while...)

The thing is, it still hurts, when you're seven, you have no idea why people are treating you like you have leprosy. I still don't know why they chose to pick on me out of the entire class.

Its sad that people think of bullying only in terms physical violence. There is emotional and social bullying, and that can be more painful than getting beat up.

I'm loving the irony of those two lines juxtaposed. Allow me to savour it.

There. Done. You poor thing.

I feel sorry for you Fass, I really do. You act as if the only way you can field criticsm is to mock and deride, even though the criticism I level is true to the mark.

You cannot even address your own problems. Sure, I'm pissed at you, god knows that. I'm pissed because you went out of your way to harass and deride other people solely because they're different from you. I'd be pissed at you if I were Chinese, Russian, German, Somali, Indian or Swedish. I'd be pissed at you because people should be treated with a bit of common courtesy, and you don't even so much as offer a mote of that.

You make yourself out to be so sophisticated, so adult, yet, all the sophistication you've shown is that of a scared ten year old.

Dear good Fass, while we are here, let's try to understand why you do what you do. After all, there are plenty of people on these forums who are perfectly happy to not like anything about America, but they don't actively go out of their way in the manner you do to mock and deride Americans. Why is that? It's fascinating, but it fully belongs in understanding bullies, as it would be fascinating to understand what sort of internal justifications they make use of to explain their actions.

I was bullied in a very special way. All the time a gang of ***tards would try to provoke me in to fighting them, (which i would do, crying my eyes out and hitting out madly). Then the teacher would come and break it up. But i would get told off more than the bullies (who were all much stronger than me), because all the teachers seemed to think i had preformed the worse crime by "lashing out". And would give me long lectures, by which they made out all the evil in the world was because of "lashing out", and in effect told me it would be better to stand their and take it. But i wouldn't take it, i even drew blood on one occasion (with my fingernails). The teachers would use nasty tickle down theories to convince me that i was a bully. On the whole the bullies were a wound and the teachers salt in it.
By the time i was 11 i was a completely paranoid, tearful misfit (i once turned round and attacked someone because i thought they were following me round). I am 14 now and i am better off because i am at a better (private) school, in which everyone likes each other too much to be bullies. But i still can't fit in with my group. I just sit in the class room all break..... The worst thing is before the bullying started i was a lively little guy who would talk and play with people all day. Now i can't go back to that because I've seen the dark side of the playground as it were.........

While I'm toying around with identity as a cause of bullying and aggressiveness on a personal level, I shall also take a look at identity and it's relation to aggressiveness on the level of the nation.

It should seem to be very clear that the entire concept of identity is important in determining how we interact with other people, and what follows from that is that identity is important in determining how peoples interact. Using data from several studies, we can identify two nations with unique identities, one of these nations is confident in their identity, the other, though, is not.

The first nation has an extremely long history of collective experience, a very well defined culture and a secure place in the international order. Since the end of the Second World War, Italy has not engaged in foreign aggrandizement or military assertiveness. Italy is an example of a nation with a healthy and happy national identity.

The second nation has a fairly short history, and collective experiences are few and far between, it's culture is ill defined, so much so that there is no single language designated as the official language of this nation. It is the United States, a nation which is attempting to define itself by playing a prominent role in the international system. The US pushes around countries it doesn't like, backed up by its military and economic capability. Why is this? Because the US is uncertain about who it is, it's national identity is unclear and consensus on the matter is virtually impossible.

bullying builds character for those being bullied let it happen to some degree but if it gets out of control then thats when it becomes a problem usually the bully is doing these kinda things because something isn't right in there home life.

YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All the bullies i have known were spoilt brats who thought they were cool.
There was nothing wrong with their home life.

YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Chill, otherwise you're still letting the freaks win. Shrug stuff like this off, it's the only way to adjust and be happy. If you cease to care about it, then it stops.

I for one like he football guy a few posts ago who beats up bullies. He is not, as many of you ascertain, a bully. A bully picks on isolated and weak children, who are different or lacking in confidence. Of they actually deserved such treatment it wouldnt be bullying. Its just karma. In jock fist form.

Actually what he does is technically bullying. Reading his post makes him sound like nothing but a coward. He said it himself when he said he beats up the bullies with a group of people. Also karma doesn't exist.

Sure, I'm pissed at you, god knows that.

I wonder if "god" cares as little as I do? Hmm... just one of those philosophical questions one can ponder.

I was sort of bullied in middle school. A few girls constantly came up to me and told me that I should go get a tan or lie down in the sun for a while, and they called me a ghost. Eventually, I just mentioned radiation, and they said something like, "We're not science freaks! We don't know what radiation is!" They never bothered me again after that. (I mean, seriously. Knowing what radiation is should be common knowledge, shouldn't it?)

Once in middle school, someone asked me if I was mute, because I don't like talking to strangers much and so I was responding to his questions sort of with pantomime. That was strange.

And once someone took my backpack and put it in a completely random place, and I had to contact an administrator so that they could help me find it. I still don't know who did that or why.

In high school it sort of got better, but I was still made fun of occasionally. I have a random habit of breaking out into a run at random (usually when I'm deep in thought and not paying any attention to my surroundings.) I also have bad posture because my backpack has weight up to 40% of my weight before, and on a daily basis weighs at least 20% of my weight, and I sort of lean over slightly when I walk. I've seen people following me before, laughing and obviously trying to imitate the way that I walk. I also once heard someone calling me a name about it, and then one of their friends told them something like, "Be quiet. She could bring a gun to school one day and kill you."

That was really scary, because I'm one of the most ridiculously passive and pacifistic people I know. I feel guilty if I accidently step on an ant or if I play even mildly violent video games. I'm fairly certain that if someone attacked me, I wouldn't even know how to even think of fighting back. So it was really unnerving to hear someone say that about me.:(

I wonder if "god" cares as little as I do? Hmm... just one of those philosophical questions one can ponder.


Aww Fass is a sweet heart ;)

I was sort of bullied in middle school. A few girls constantly came up to me and told me that I should go get a tan or lie down in the sun for a while, and they called me a ghost. Eventually, I just mentioned radiation, and they said something like, "We're not science freaks! We don't know what radiation is!" They never bothered me again after that. (I mean, seriously. Knowing what radiation is should be common knowledge, shouldn't it?)

Once in middle school, someone asked me if I was mute, because I don't like talking to strangers much and so I was responding to his questions sort of with pantomime. That was strange.

And once someone took my backpack and put it in a completely random place, and I had to contact an administrator so that they could help me find it. I still don't know who did that or why.

In high school it sort of got better, but I was still made fun of occasionally. I have a random habit of breaking out into a run at random (usually when I'm deep in thought and not paying any attention to my surroundings.) I also have bad posture because my backpack has weight up to 40% of my weight before, and on a daily basis weighs at least 20% of my weight, and I sort of lean over slightly when I walk. I've seen people following me before, laughing and obviously trying to imitate the way that I walk. I also once heard someone calling me a name about it, and then one of their friends told them something like, "Be quiet. She could bring a gun to school one day and kill you."

That was really scary, because I'm one of the most ridiculously passive and pacifistic people I know. I feel guilty if I accidently step on an ant or if I play even mildly violent video games. I'm fairly certain that if someone attacked me, I wouldn't even know how to even think of fighting back. So it was really unnerving to hear someone say that about me.:(

Dear, first off don't worry what other girls say. Most women are superficial and as a result are never happy. You are very cute and have nothing to worry about. You have a good personality, and thats something most women don't have.

Secondly, people are rude/mean only because they are insecure about themselves. They have to rag on someone to make themselves feel better.

Lastly..Well there is no lastly :p

Dear, first off don't worry what other girls say. Most women are superficial and as a result are never happy. You are very cute and have nothing to worry about. You have a good personality, and thats something most women don't have.

Secondly, people are rude/mean only because they are insecure about themselves. They have to rag on someone to make themselves feel better.

Lastly..Well there is no lastly :p

Thank you, Zilam.:) That sounds like good advice.

While I'm toying around with identity as a cause of bullying and aggressiveness on a personal level, I shall also take a look at identity and it's relation to aggressiveness on the level of the nation.

It should seem to be very clear that the entire concept of identity is important in determining how we interact with other people, and what follows from that is that identity is important in determining how peoples interact. Using data from several studies, we can identify two nations with unique identities, one of these nations is confident in their identity, the other, though, is not.

The first nation has an extremely long history of collective experience, a very well defined culture and a secure place in the international order. Since the end of the Second World War, Italy has not engaged in foreign aggrandizement or military assertiveness. Italy is an example of a nation with a healthy and happy national identity.

The second nation has a fairly short history, and collective experiences are few and far between, it's culture is ill defined, so much so that there is no single language designated as the official language of this nation. It is the United States, a nation which is attempting to define itself by playing a prominent role in the international system. The US pushes around countries it doesn't like, backed up by its military and economic capability. Why is this? Because the US is uncertain about who it is, it's national identity is unclear and consensus on the matter is virtually impossible.

Listen Frenchie, you try coming over here to the USA and talking like that. You will get your ass kicked and go crying home to mamma!

You guys are just jealous because America is the last bastion of the Enlightebment that you all gave up on years ago. Go smoke a Gaulloise in a cafe and deal with your ennui and leave the USA alone.

My most recent experience with a bully has been with a complete prat who seems to think that the threat "You wan'a fight O.k. shut up" is the ultimate way of winning an argumnet. Fortunatly Six more months and he gets chucked out. I'm sorry, "not invited back into the sixth form"

Listen Frenchie, you try coming over here to the USA and talking like that. You will get your ass kicked and go crying home to mamma!

You guys are just jealous because America is the last bastion of the Enlightebment that you all gave up on years ago. Go smoke a Gaulloise in a cafe and deal with your ennui and leave the USA alone.

Started off badly and went downhill from there...

Let me guess, you vote Republican.



More on topic....I never really got bullied in school. It would have been very easy for people to bully me, but because I could stand up for myself verbally it never got much beyond insults traded both ways. If I hadn't been quick enough to answer back then I would have had an absolute nightmare in school.

I don't know about the us, but I feel bullying is serious no matter were it is. and can leave a person fucked up for life. too bad people don't care about it (enough to actually do something abou it).

Started off badly and went downhill from there...

Let me guess, you vote Republican.



More on topic....I never really got bullied in school. It would have been very easy for people to bully me, but because I could stand up for myself verbally it never got much beyond insults traded both ways. If I hadn't been quick enough to answer back then I would have had an absolute nightmare in school.

and to you, talking back doesn't always help, in my case it made things worse.

and to you, talking back doesn't always help, in my case it made things worse.

Yea, I don't know how I got away with that...

Yea, I don't know how I got away with that...

most times it helps (specially if its just one person) but if you have a group or strong minded bullies it makes things worse.

Excuse me but varsity track or crosscountry are not at all like football. I do not see you getting tackled. Honestly they are more Hobbies then Sports i beleive. And you can type with busted knuckles. its not that hard. If i have then become the bully well then i guess i will have to seek forgiveness from Christ not you. I beleive running around in circles is not a sport or running over hills. We do that in conditioning for football. Also if you say you could of been Varisty football prove it. I doubt you could make it through half the season.Actions means more than words.

Excuse me but varsity track or crosscountry are not at all like football. I do not see you getting tackled. Honestly they are more Hobbies then Sports i beleive. And you can type with busted knuckles. its not that hard. If i have then become the bully well then i guess i will have to seek forgiveness from Christ not you. I beleive running around in circles is not a sport or running over hills. We do that in conditioning for football. Also if you say you could of been Varisty football prove it. I doubt you could make it through half the season.Actions means more than words.

Your post just made you sound like a coward. You said that you beat up the bullies with a group of people. Only cowards fight somebody with a group.

my conclusion is that groups of people are bastards and will take advantage when they know they can get away with it

My public schooling experience was GHASTLY. I hated every moment of it. Alright, maybe not every moment, but most of the freaking moments. Public Schooling is broken. The basic result is: Conform or Die. Students, Teachers & Administrators all conspire to marginalize the children who are exceptional or subpar, whose interests and activities aren't the "norm". Not athletic? Slit your wrists now. Physically ahead or behind your classmates? Kiss your dignity, self-esteem and mental stability good-bye.

I don't know if your state has a dual-enrollment policy, but if so you have the ability to take college classes while you are in high school. Thank the powers that be that my parents suggested (after broken ribsx2, broken nose and countless black eyes and less serious injuries - with nothing done by the administrators because apparently gay kids deserve that kind of treatment) that I drop out of high school, they filled out the paperwork for me to be homeschooled and I began college full-time after ninth grade.

If you're able you'll be way ahead of the kids your age. You sound intelligent so college classes at a community college shouldn't be too much of a challenge, but the ability to indulge in healthy social interactions with intelligent, experience older persons is priceless.

High school is not real, it's horseshit, and the popular kids usually end up drug addicts and whores because bullying and young bodies only last so long.

Succor,
J.

Full-Time college after right after 9th grade, Progidy!

Your post just made you sound like a coward. You said that you beat up the bullies with a group of people. Only cowards fight somebody with a group.

Only cowards fight a single person with a group. In football, it is two groups against each other. And if you REALLY want tough, try wrestling. I once wrestled with a broken shoulder.

EDIT: Before you guys start flaming, it wasn't actually broken, but the chiropracter said it very nearly was.

I got bullied a lot when I started school. By second grade I had thick glasses to go with my buck-teeth. I was shy with other kids and excessively bookwormish. My father taught me to fight and encouraged me to answer bullying with my fists. This was fairly effective but since we moved frequently I had to start the process of kicking ass all over again at each new school.

While this strategy does eventually cut way down on the bullying I'm sure most adults(not sure Dad counts as an adult) would recommend a different tact.

It wasn't until I was halfway through high school that I stopped answering every taunt with a left hook. I eventually found that the vocabulary I got from all that reading worked just about as well with the added benefit of not spending all my spare time hanging out at the principals office.

The best thing about being the victim of so many bullies is it gives you a great deal of compassion and understanding for lifes underdogs. Well, actually the best thing is that once you're an adult you have the ability to avoid many of those assholes. For people who were popular, high school has lots of fond memories. Then there are the rest of us, who prefer to forget those days.

where to start...

i'd been bullied all my schooling for being both the smartest and smallest kid in my year - half of my pre-teens were spent sitting in a corner reading textbooks a couple of years ahead while the teacher tought the rest of the class
way to marginalise the smart kid!

but the worst two years of my life were when i was 14-16
in my year 9 (14-15yo) the school had designated a top-stream class and two bottom-stream classes
then some parents complained that a top-stream class was 'elitist' so they split us up, two or three into all the other classes - including the bottom-stream classes!
guess where i ended up - the only 'nerd' in a class of disinterested underachievers and thugs
i actually broke one guy's ribs with a chair one day, when six of them thought it would be hilarious to hold me down and try to force one of the teachers' cacti up my ass
the teacher, to his credit, didn't discipline me but actually mocked the head thug for crying about his broken ribs - and no more football for him for the rest of the season
so at least he learned to leave me alone

then the following year i somehow ended up public enemy no 1 about halfway thru the year, launching a month-long campaign of random punches in corridors, endless theft, being followed home by groups of guys and on a couple of occasions a group-beating if they managed to herd me off the main road, etc
right in the middle of this my science teacher told the class one day that 'inflammable' meant 'will not burn' - this is a woman responsible for distributing bunsen burners to mindless teenagers, and she doesn't know what inflammable means...
so i politely corrected her
she went on to make a big deal out of it, announcing to the class that apparently i thought myself better than her (self-fulfilling prophecy - from that moment forward i did think myself better than her) and dramatically produced a dictionary, to put my smart ass back in its place
all to much laughter and spitballs from my 'classmates'
reads aloud: "inflammable: highly combustible... (pause) you smart little fucking shithead!" and threw the chalk in her hand at me
astonished by this i went to my dean after class and reported what happened - and was told "i'm sure she didn't do that" and sent toddling on my way
a week later (still during the campaign of harassment) she left the class unattended for an entire period - which i spent with my eyes closed and controlling my breathing in order to not kill someone, as the entire rest of the class pelted me with spitballs, erasers, pens, and anything else they could lay their hands on
teacher returned to see me bright-red and shaking in my seat, literally covered in the rest of the classes spit - realising she'd really gone too far she told the class off, then end of period she just let 'em all go but asked me to stay behind
when she asked if i was okay, i just said "no, i'm a smart little fucking shithead" and went to clean myself off
after this i started carrying a knife in my pocket, because i was genuinely scared for my wellbeing and no-one would believe me when i tried to get help
a few days after this, it all came to a head
when i launched myself in a blind rage at one of my tormentors and put the knife blade through his shirt collar, while screaming incoherently

a suspension, obviously, followed - as did several parent-teacher conferences in which i simply repeated everything i'd been saying for the past month, this time to be believed (too late)

but no-one ever bullied me again after that

You guys are just jealous because America is the last bastion of the Enlightebment that you all gave up on years ago. Go smoke a Gaulloise in a cafe and deal with your ennui and leave the USA alone.

the typo makes it funny...

I had some similiar experiences. I remember throwing one of those desk/chair combos at a couple of kids who harassed me in 7th grade. (about age 13) My teacher was sympathetic and only disciplined my harassers. But I had the advantage of usually being quite popular with my teachers.
Once in highschool I still managed to get away with a lot of crap because adults usually liked me. Though you were supposed to get a three day suspension for your first fight and expelled for the whole semester for the next one, I was never suspended for a single day. I was sent to the principals office for four fights that year.
I always wore dresses to school (once in highschool) instead of jeans like most of my classmates, was very polite and well-spoken with adults (mostly,anyway) and cried on the principals shoulder when in trouble. No, it honestly wasn't intentional manipulation. But it did keep me out of trouble.

Well, here's a random question for you all... about bullying. Is it serious? Are US schools doing anything effective about it?

My answers: It's very serious. I was bullied from ages seven to twelve. I moved to small-town North Carolina and was bullied as soon as I moved in. I've always been a bit shy, but apparently I wasn't social enough for the Duck Ridge kids. My sister made friends instantly. It took me six years to get more than one real friend because of the bullying. In elementary school I hung around the anti-tattletales and was bullied as a result and became extremely shy. I was the first girl in my third-grade year to have a bra and acne, which made me even more insecure. The shyness eased up toward the end of the year, but by fourth grade I was even more shy and bullied more because I had ADD. In fifth grade I was the smartest girl in my class-- there were 3 boys ahead of me and one right behind me (we've been really good friends since then :)) but the bullying became even worse. People were constantly talkign about me and I was excluded from the girls' table. The cliques got so bad that my teacher assigned seats and I got stuck with the other smart kids :). In sixth grade I was no longer the smartest one and that's the first year I've ever came close to actually failing a class. I was constantly made fun of for my acne and because I was shy. People stole from me, stealing my report cards on the bus, constantly harassing me because of my acne. In seventh grade the teacher favoritism began and I never made sports teams in seventh or eighth grade simply because I wasn't the favorite (which is why the middle school's teams always sucked major arse, favoritism) It completely killed my motivation. I started thinking I was ugly and tiny and just worthless, not good enough. I never got anything done in middle school, until eighth grade.

Now I'm in ninth grade, and look at me now. I'm much better, but I'm still shy and still have low self-esteem. I have much more confidence, but I still want to smite all the teachers and students who made middle school miserable for me. I want to move to a different neighborhood... still. One of my stories is about a girl who is bullied. And I know what you guys are going to say... "You should have told someone..." NOBODY WOULD FREAKING LISTEN! Speaking up is only effective if SOMEBODY ACTUALLY FREAKING LISTENS!

Oh, and this little tidbit from Scholastic: (http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4099)


BULL CRAP. Most bullies are GIRLS, retards! UGH! IDIOTS! It's people who are so woefully ignorant about preteens that make me daydream about lightning hitting my old middle school! :mad:

Bullys certainly are a bitch. Im already out of highschool but i never really had problems with them. I went to an innercity school with a majority hispanic, black or other. I my self look like a little (but tall) white boy. maybe at one point they did mess with me but it never lasted long as usually im able to get along with most people. Those i dont i don't even speak too and if they do keep messing with you, then you better knock them the fuck out cuz you got to let people know that you don't take no shit. I never had to do that tho so..... but seriously you cant take no shit. Now im not saying kill them but let them know that you arent afraid to fight back. also, make them respect you or try and find common ground. and get to the source of the problem. well good luck oh and i too have low self esteem so any one can do this.

Well, here's a random question for you all... about bullying. Is it serious? Are US schools doing anything effective about it?

My answers: It's very serious. I was bullied from ages seven to twelve. I moved to small-town North Carolina and was bullied as soon as I moved in. I've always been a bit shy, but apparently I wasn't social enough for the Duck Ridge kids. My sister made friends instantly. It took me six years to get more than one real friend because of the bullying. In elementary school I hung around the anti-tattletales and was bullied as a result and became extremely shy. I was the first girl in my third-grade year to have a bra and acne, which made me even more insecure. The shyness eased up toward the end of the year, but by fourth grade I was even more shy and bullied more because I had ADD. In fifth grade I was the smartest girl in my class-- there were 3 boys ahead of me and one right behind me (we've been really good friends since then :)) but the bullying became even worse. People were constantly talkign about me and I was excluded from the girls' table. The cliques got so bad that my teacher assigned seats and I got stuck with the other smart kids :). In sixth grade I was no longer the smartest one and that's the first year I've ever came close to actually failing a class. I was constantly made fun of for my acne and because I was shy. People stole from me, stealing my report cards on the bus, constantly harassing me because of my acne. In seventh grade the teacher favoritism began and I never made sports teams in seventh or eighth grade simply because I wasn't the favorite (which is why the middle school's teams always sucked major arse, favoritism) It completely killed my motivation. I started thinking I was ugly and tiny and just worthless, not good enough. I never got anything done in middle school, until eighth grade.

Now I'm in ninth grade, and look at me now. I'm much better, but I'm still shy and still have low self-esteem. I have much more confidence, but I still want to smite all the teachers and students who made middle school miserable for me. I want to move to a different neighborhood... still. One of my stories is about a girl who is bullied. And I know what you guys are going to say... "You should have told someone..." NOBODY WOULD FREAKING LISTEN! Speaking up is only effective if SOMEBODY ACTUALLY FREAKING LISTENS!

Oh, and this little tidbit from Scholastic: (http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4099)


BULL CRAP. Most bullies are GIRLS, retards! UGH! IDIOTS! It's people who are so woefully ignorant about preteens that make me daydream about lightning hitting my old middle school! :mad:

Im feel a great deal of remorse for you, I just found this bit a little humorous. You see, since second grade, I was always a joker. I was really popular from 2nd- 6th grade, hanging out with the popular kids and everything. 6th grade was pretty good, although I was going through emotional problems, unrealtated too anybody really, id rather not discuss it. Anyways, it was 7th garde when things began too go sour. I had always been a very plae kid, who never seemed too get a fitting tan- they ripped me apart. I still hung out with a big group, usually too be the butt of classroom jokes. In 8th grade, I was put in a class, where I knew only a few people. I decided too approach my social life from a new perspective. I made a really good friend, and hung out with a smaller group of friends. High school wasnt too bad, sure I was poked fun at in gym ALOT for my appaerance, and eventually 1/2 way through the year, I just lost it. My confidence, everything. It is now 1/2 through 10th grade, and ive slowly become worse. All my friends are gone, I eat lunch alone, and spend ALL of my free time alone. (weekends and anytime out of school included. Im at the computer or glued too the tv) Its been really hard...Ive come too loath high school. I just want it too be over. Anyway, hope I didnt bore you, I just though this thread would be fitting too place my story. I used too wish ill will too the bullies, around 8th grade, but grew out of it, into an emo-esque depression.

Im feel a great deal of remorse for you, I just found this bit a little humorous. You see, since second grade, I was always a joker. I was really popular from 2nd- 6th grade, hanging out with the popular kids and everything. 6th grade was pretty good, although I was going through emotional problems, unrealtated too anybody really, id rather not discuss it. Anyways, it was 7th garde when things began too go sour. I had always been a very plae kid, who never seemed too get a fitting tan- they ripped me apart. I still hung out with a big group, usually too be the butt of classroom jokes. In 8th grade, I was put in a class, where I knew only a few people. I decided too approach my social life from a new perspective. I made a really good friend, and hung out with a smaller group of friends. High school wasnt too bad, sure I was poked fun at in gym ALOT for my appaerance, and eventually 1/2 way through the year, I just lost it. My confidence, everything. It is now 1/2 through 10th grade, and ive slowly become worse. All my friends are gone, I eat lunch alone, and spend ALL of my free time alone. (weekends and anytime out of school included. Im at the computer or glued too the tv) Its been really hard...Ive come too loath high school. I just want it too be over. Anyway, hope I didnt bore you, I just though this thread would be fitting too place my story. I used too wish ill will too the bullies, around 8th grade, but grew out of it, into an emo-esque depression.

Keep your chin up. I know at your age two years feels like an eternity, but it really isn't. I kind of re-made myself once I got out of high school. My step-mother gave me some really good advice. The short version is that all those confident popular kids are really faking it. Inside they're all as scared and confused and insecure as anyone else. If you fake knowing what you're doing eventually everyone will start to believe it. Yourself included.

I was sort of bullied in middle school. A few girls constantly came up to me and told me that I should go get a tan or lie down in the sun for a while, and they called me a ghost. Eventually, I just mentioned radiation, and they said something like, "We're not science freaks! We don't know what radiation is!" They never bothered me again after that. (I mean, seriously. Knowing what radiation is should be common knowledge, shouldn't it?)

Once in middle school, someone asked me if I was mute, because I don't like talking to strangers much and so I was responding to his questions sort of with pantomime. That was strange.

And once someone took my backpack and put it in a completely random place, and I had to contact an administrator so that they could help me find it. I still don't know who did that or why.

In high school it sort of got better, but I was still made fun of occasionally. I have a random habit of breaking out into a run at random (usually when I'm deep in thought and not paying any attention to my surroundings.) I also have bad posture because my backpack has weight up to 40% of my weight before, and on a daily basis weighs at least 20% of my weight, and I sort of lean over slightly when I walk. I've seen people following me before, laughing and obviously trying to imitate the way that I walk. I also once heard someone calling me a name about it, and then one of their friends told them something like, "Be quiet. She could bring a gun to school one day and kill you."

That was really scary, because I'm one of the most ridiculously passive and pacifistic people I know. I feel guilty if I accidently step on an ant or if I play even mildly violent video games. I'm fairly certain that if someone attacked me, I wouldn't even know how to even think of fighting back. So it was really unnerving to hear someone say that about me.:(

Wow....I think your my cosmic "mirror image"

Bullying in America seems to be terrible. And you seem to have very slack or uncaring teachers. In Queensland, Australia, much of this behaviour would result in at least a 3-5 suspension for anyone involved in physical violence. At most, 20 days with recommendation for exclusion (schools don't have the power to expel kids in Queensland). And a teacher who allowed it to happen would be in serious trouble for neglecting duty of care.

I'm not denying that it happens, just that it doesn't appear to be as widespread or as accepted in Australia as in America. Although, the psychological bullying that goes on out here can be horrific, and very accepted.

Keep your chin up. I know at your age two years feels like an eternity, but it really isn't. I kind of re-made myself once I got out of high school. My step-mother gave me some really good advice. The short version is that all those confident popular kids are really faking it. Inside they're all as scared and confused and insecure as anyone else. If you fake knowing what you're doing eventually everyone will start to believe it. Yourself included.

I have not the confidence...The only reason I say that is my crushing fear of the old names and jokes concerning me... =/

But thanks for the advice.