NationStates Jolt Archive

I just got out from the 'Santa got banned from a school event' thread. I thought we might enjoy general goffiness from devising a whole new personified icon of the holiday season.

This fictional icon must be perfectly inoffensive and definitely religion-neutral.

I'm going to start off by proposing this person be female, anyone want to protest this?

Add your own characteristic to this icon, let the silliness begin!:eek: :)

I just got out from the 'Santa got banned from a school event' thread. I thought we might enjoy general goffiness from devising a whole new personified icon of the holiday season.

This fictional icon must be perfectly inoffensive and definitely religion-neutral.

I'm going to start off by proposing this person be female, anyone want to protest this?

Add your own characteristic to this icon, let the silliness begin!:eek: :)

Nah. If it's female, some will make it out as a reference to the Virgin Mary. The character must be androgynous if it's human.

Personally, I think a javalina would be a good holiday ambassador.

Personally, I think a javalina would be a good holiday ambassador.

A swine/pig?

Ms. Mitten is unmarried and independent, she is agnostic and doesn't want to offend people who don't believe in Winter, Holidays, Thursdays, or Happiness. She would like you to be free to have whatever type of time you wish.

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c389/Smunkee/msmitten.jpg

A swine/pig?

It's a peccary. (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/lilmammal/javelina.html):D

It's a peccary. (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/lilmammal/javelina.html):D

Bottom line, can you make a good meal out of it cooked on a BBQ?

I think a stick figure would be good.

Bottom line, can you make a good meal out of it cooked on a BBQ?

You could, but millions of children would weep at the tragic demise of their beloved holiday ambassador.

Besides, javelinas are tough little buggers.

Everything offends somebody. I say we use the older Father Christmas who wears green robes with a hood. We can make him religion-neutral though. Adds an element of mystery.

How about if we secularize the holliday by getting rid of the manger, animals, wise men, and Mary, Joey, and Jesus and replacing it with a store filled with frazzled shoppers fighting over sale items while a child throws a temper tantrum in the middle of the floor.

I think a stick figure would be good.
Can't do that, stick figures are the leading cause of anorexia among kindergartners.

I suggest Ollie the Seasonal Octopus. Why is the octopus the perfect holiday representative? Well let's see:
Octopi have 8-tentacles and these tentacles point in every direction of the compass, making them truely an international representative of non-exclusive good-will.
Octopi make terrible serial killers, relieving us from the burden of another sub-genre of "ironic" low-budget, holiday-themed horror.
Octopi also know when a joke is being beaten to death, and are well and willing to stop.

How about the Winter Holiday Annoyance? It'll look like a duck.

I think the Grim Reaper has gotten a bum rap, with that whole death thing and all. Why not reform his image?

I think the Grim Reaper has gotten a bum rap, with that whole death thing and all. Why not reform his image?

He might be confused for the Ghost of Christmas Future in a Skeletor mask.

I think the Grim Reaper has gotten a bum rap, with that whole death thing and all. Why not reform his image?

Someone's already beaten you to that idea:

http://www.tipiloschi.net/nino/ninoland/HogFather.jpg

Hogfather. Enough said.

Ms. Mitten is unmarried and independent, she is agnostic and doesn't want to offend people who don't believe in Winter, Holidays, Thursdays, or Happiness. She would like you to be free to have whatever type of time you wish.

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c389/Smunkee/msmitten.jpg
Wouldn't it be better if it was Mrs Peppershaker?
"Mrs Peppershaker wants you to have a seasonal time."
ZOMG PUN!
*flees*

http://koti.mbnet.fi/mupelo/springy.gif

Everybody loves Spingy!