NationStates Jolt Archive

I've been wanting to become more active in the church, to participate in the faith more than I have.

Now that I'm street legal, I'll be able to easier get to where I want to go. I want to start out by going to confession...but in all honesty I am scared shitless.

I have not confessed in over a year, and that one was done in the hospital while I was nigh unconcsious a few days before a surgery. I've done things that I am quite ashamed of (I obviously will not discuss it here), and it pains me to even think about it, let alone say it out loud to someone. I need some advice, any advice, on how to go through with this without getting an ulcer.

Thank you.

convert to atheism

I don't know what to tell you because I am Baptist......I can give you Baptist advice.

Pray to God, ask for forgiveness, let it go.

Go to confess and apologize for your sins to the people it affected, your confession doesn't need to go any further than the circle of sin

if it's a between you and God sin, you talk to God
if it's a between you and a friend sin, you talk to God and your friend
etc.

I never understood the whole confessing to the priest thing, what's that do?

Nobody confesses everything at confession, and by nobody I mean I never did. I used to just confess to a few ordinary sins, like impure thoughts, lies, you know, minor shit and prayed over the more embarrasing "sins". Now I'm atheist and I don't really worry about anything that is victimless.

I've been wanting to become more active in the church, to participate in the faith more than I have.

Now that I'm street legal, I'll be able to easier get to where I want to go. I want to start out by going to confession...but in all honesty I am scared shitless.

I have not confessed in over a year, and that one was done in the hospital while I was nigh unconcsious a few days before a surgery. I've done things that I am quite ashamed of (I obviously will not discuss it here), and it pains me to even think about it, let alone say it out loud to someone. I need some advice, any advice, on how to go through with this without getting an ulcer.

Thank you.

Here's some advice from an atheist: if you are truly a believer, remember that you aren't confessing to "someone," you're really confessing to God, through the medium of the priest. I believe it's considered very tacky for the priest to exclaim, "OMG!!!!1111oneone!!! You are going str8t to Hell!!!!!!!!11!!" You'll probably get a bit of a lecture and some penance, and be admonished to mend your ways. Oh, and he's not allowed to tell anyone about what you tell him, so ...

Suggestions?

Don't worry about it.

Suggestions?

Don't worry about it.

Comrade...nothing simpler could be more complicated

Mur...?

Smunkee : Apparently you confess to a priest because any sin hurts your connection to the church and by extension the church's constituency. Therefore you say sorry to everyone. This doesn't preclude being forgiven by asking for it alone though.

I don't know what to tell you because I am Baptist......I can give you Baptist advice.

Pray to God, ask for forgiveness, let it go.

Go to confess and apologize for your sins to the people it affected, your confession doesn't need to go any further than the circle of sin

if it's a between you and God sin, you talk to God
if it's a between you and a friend sin, you talk to God and your friend
etc.

I never understood the whole confessing to the priest thing, what's that do?

I agree entirely with the exception that I'm Presbyterian.

Smunkee : Apparently you confess to a priest because any sin hurts your connection to the church and by extension the church's constituency. Therefore you say sorry to everyone. This doesn't preclude being forgiven by asking for it alone though.

Ha, now I remember the joy of being Lutheran. :rolleyes:

Smunkee : Apparently you confess to a priest because any sin hurts your connection to the church and by extension the church's constituency. Therefore you say sorry to everyone. This doesn't preclude being forgiven by asking for it alone though.

oh, well.

I always thought it hurt your connection to God and it was His deal to deal with.

If it's hurting your relationship with the entire church, then your circle of sin is quite wide and you should probably make a public apology.

I've been wanting to become more active in the church, to participate in the faith more than I have.

Now that I'm street legal, I'll be able to easier get to where I want to go. I want to start out by going to confession...but in all honesty I am scared shitless.

I have not confessed in over a year, and that one was done in the hospital while I was nigh unconcsious a few days before a surgery. I've done things that I am quite ashamed of (I obviously will not discuss it here), and it pains me to even think about it, let alone say it out loud to someone. I need some advice, any advice, on how to go through with this without getting an ulcer.

Thank you.


People pay good money to spill their guts to psychiatrists, you get it for free from the church.

Just think of it as an opportunity to get things off your chest and get catharsis.

I used to be Catholic, so maybe I have something intelligent to say on this...

(No, I'm not an atheist now. Can you believe it?)

Confessionals typically have the option to talk through a screen, in which case they don't even know who they're talking to. That always helped me.

But you know... maybe some of the formality could come down and you cou ld just tell the priest about those nervous feelings. They understand. He can probably offer some words of comfort. Definitely talk to him.

In any case, once you get through it you'll feel a LOT better, so it's worth it.

I've been wanting to become more active in the church, to participate in the faith more than I have.

Now that I'm street legal, I'll be able to easier get to where I want to go. I want to start out by going to confession...but in all honesty I am scared shitless.

I have not confessed in over a year, and that one was done in the hospital while I was nigh unconcsious a few days before a surgery. I've done things that I am quite ashamed of (I obviously will not discuss it here), and it pains me to even think about it, let alone say it out loud to someone. I need some advice, any advice, on how to go through with this without getting an ulcer.

Thank you.

If it's hurting your relationship with the entire church, then your circle of sin is quite wide and you should probably make a public apology.

Actually, in the early days of the Church confessions were public and to the entire congregation. I imagine they eliminated this primarily because it was easy to abuse and made people less willing to confess in the first place.

I don't know what to tell you because I am Baptist......I can give you Baptist advice.

Pray to God, ask for forgiveness, let it go.

Go to confess and apologize for your sins to the people it affected, your confession doesn't need to go any further than the circle of sin

if it's a between you and God sin, you talk to God
if it's a between you and a friend sin, you talk to God and your friend
etc.

I never understood the whole confessing to the priest thing, what's that do?

As I understand it, not from practice but from study, the priest is the intermediary between the worshipper and God. He stands for Jesus and helps convey your prayers. He is empowered by his ordination to bestow forgiveness of sins, so you confess to him. Doing away with this layer is one of the main ways the Protestants differentiate themselves from Catholics.

oh, well.

I always thought it hurt your connection to God and it was His deal to deal with.

If it's hurting your relationship with the entire church, then your circle of sin is quite wide and you should probably make a public apology.

I think he means "The Church" sort of church, not the actual incidental congregation. It distances you from god's representative and instrument on earth.

You have to therefore reconcile yourself with the agent of the church, ordained and called by god especially for the purpose - the priest.

I'm no theologian, but this seems the most sensible notion based on the catholic idea.

convert to atheism

Amen brotha!

As I understand it, not from practice but from study, the priest is the intermediary between the worshipper and God. He stands for Jesus and helps convey your prayers. He is empowered by his ordination to bestow forgiveness of sins, so you confess to him. Doing away with this layer is one of the main ways the Protestants differentiate themselves from Catholics.

huh. My bible says there is one mediator between man and God and it is Jesus.

(1 Timothy 2:5)

Bolol, the Church teaches us that we have nothing to fear of Forgiveness, that it is just the Devil working to try and keep you away from God. Now, I don't want to get into this whole "Ye, and the Beast walks amongst you. Now is the Hour!" sidewalk sermons, but I would like to say this: what harm can a confession do? The priest is bound by Canon Law to keep all he hears confidential, since he acts only in the capacity as a conduit of a discussion between you and God. Besides, unless you butchered somebody, I'm sure that your confessor has heard far worse. While not a justification for what you may or may not have done, remember that none of us is perfect, and that you can always redeem yourself. For your own conscious, I'd encourage making restitution if possible (such as I do when I return people's pens every Christmas, or get them new ones), but worry not about the confessional.

I don't know what to tell you because I am Baptist......I can give you Baptist advice.

Pray to God, ask for forgiveness, let it go.

Go to confess and apologize for your sins to the people it affected, your confession doesn't need to go any further than the circle of sin

if it's a between you and God sin, you talk to God
if it's a between you and a friend sin, you talk to God and your friend
etc.

That's actually very good advice, and it contains a principle upon which I will elaborate shortly.

Bolol, it might help if you confessed to God everything that you have come to recognize as sinful. Make sure to say the words aloud when you do so, and I suspect you'll feel a certain freedom to discuss it with a priest after that. Saying it the first time is the hardest, and once you get past that it gets much easier, in my experience.

I never understood the whole confessing to the priest thing, what's that do?

Here I'm going to go back to a principle underlying your earlier statement that "if it's a between you and a friend sin, you talk to God and your friend". Naturally, sin is not always (and dare I say rarely is) just between a person and God. It often affects the lives of many others, and the community you represent, and you should ask their forgiveness as well.

I'll use an example. Let's say I go to a party, get drunk, beat the tar out of a guy, and later end up sleeping with a girl I met at the party.

Not only am I sinning against myself and God, I've sinned against the guy I beat up and the girl I slept with. I've also sinned against the faith community, in that my actions have reflected badly upon the Church, furthering division within Christ's body and failing in my duty to live as Christ did, which is also sinful.

Since my actions have harmed the faith community, it is very appropriate for me to ask for forgiveness from a representative of that community (ie. a priest).

Also, in general, confessing to a priest has the benefit of talking to a faith-filled person who can give you practical advice about avoiding sinning like that again based on their wealth of experience. In addition, penances given by a priest help us to be held accountable, and psychologically reinforce the idea that we are forgiven.

I won't try to convince you that confessing to a priest is necessary (because I don't think it is either), but I will defend the position that it is an appropriate and practical approach for Bolol to take.

huh. My bible says there is one mediator between man and God and it is Jesus.

(1 Timothy 2:5)

Well, your versions of "priest whackjobbery" and "non-priest whackjobbery" have been fighting wars for centuries trying to resolve the matter, and it hasnt been resolved, so lets not bother going over it again.

I think he means "The Church" sort of church, not the actual incidental congregation. It distances you from god's representative and instrument on earth.Yeah, that was what I meant. Thanks for clarifying.

Well, your versions of "priest whackjobbery" and "non-priest whackjobbery" have been fighting wars for centuries trying to resolve the matter, and it hasnt been resolved, so lets not bother going over it again.

okay.........I was just saying.

gosh.

Make up sins to make your real sins seem less important. It will also make you look more interesting.

Bolol:

First. Ignore the other religions comments. They will always point out "flaws."

As a bluemoon RC, I can tell you something.

Don't worry about it unless of course you raped and pillaged. ;)

The Priest (if he is any good) is there as a sounding board and to offer advice.

Always remember he is also a man and thus fallible. There are bad Priests. For example, my father-in-law (traditional Italian Catholic) was told by an asshole priest that the death of his daughter was because he did something wrong.

If it really bothers you, then use a different church so the Priest doesn't know you. For some that does help.

Just do it. You will feel better afterwards.

So says somebody who had punishment detail every weekend during one year of school! ;)

Bolol,

We've all done things of which we are not proud. As a former Roman Catholic, I can honestly say that going to confession was not the easiest of things to do, and I was always filled with a sort of dread before stepping into that confessional.

I found it to be an immeasurably spiritual experience, however, when I simply kneeled there and spelled out everything I did to the best of my memory, not holding anything back. You don't want to compound any guiltiness on your conscience by withholding sins (a note to non-Catholics - I only mention this because the Roman Catholic Church teaches that it's a mortal sin to withhold other mortal sins... it is not my belief but I mention it out of respect for the original poster). Just let it all out and be done with it. Anything you accidently forget in the confessional will be forgiven as well, just make sure to confess it the next time.

I have a couple of suggestions to make it easier. First, if you know of any churches with rather "liberal" priests, go there. Sometimes they are a bit easier to confess to... although, admittedly, my best confession experiences have been with rather conservative priests whom ended up surprising me with how understanding they were with certain matters. Secondly, be upfront with the priest and tell him that you have not been to confession in such a long time and are very nervous. Many priests are so thrilled to get members of their parish returning to the sacraments that it won't matter what you confess! Lastly, remember that you are not expected to devulge details, just general categories of sin. If you had sex outside of marriage, for example, you just need to confess to having sex outside of marriage - no need to go into specific acts.

And I recommend prayer, first and foremost, before going to confession. I always found that to help as well. Make an Act of Contrition and mean it... the Church teaches that an act of perfect contrition will pull you out of being in a state of mortal sin... the sacrament itself is meant to heal you and heal your relationship with the Church and God.

Following these steps, I had always found myself renewed coming out of the confessional, and have always been pleased to find that all my fears were for naught. I may not be Roman Catholic anymore (or even a Christian, for that matter), but I recommend taking every opportunity to see it as the spiritual experience it is meant to be.

Bolol, I'm not Catholic, never have been, but for what it's worth;

Whatever you've done, considered doing, or thought, your priest WILL have heard it before. He won't be shocked, or dismayed, and if he's worth his collar, he'll help you to regain your peace of mind. He's there to help.

Also, and this is true of all human endeavours: The anticipation is always worse than the actual event. Just try to hang easy, be calm. Things will be fine.

huh. My bible says there is one mediator between man and God and it is Jesus.

(1 Timothy 2:5)

Right, well, again, that's as I understand it. Someone was arguing against ordaining women just the other day by saying that women can't be priests because priests are stand-ins for Jesus, Jesus manifested as a man, so woman can't be priests because Jesus wasn't a woman. Something like that. Historically, it's possible that the intermediary position came in when almost all Christians were illiterate and uneducated, except for the priests, who conducted Masses and read from the Bible and such. I'm pretty neutral on this, being an atheist. My advice to Bolol was to remember that in confessing, he's not speaking to the priest but through the priest. The priest is a neutral conduit beytween the worshipper and God, which is why what is said in the confessional is not to be spoken of outside it: the confession was to God, the priest just happens to be the messenger.

Right, well, again, that's as I understand it. Someone was arguing against ordaining women just the other day by saying that women can't be priests because priests are stand-ins for Jesus, Jesus manifested as a man, so woman can't be priests because Jesus wasn't a woman. Something like that. Historically, it's possible that the intermediary position came in when almost all Christians were illiterate and uneducated, except for the priests, who conducted Masses and read from the Bible and such. I'm pretty neutral on this, being an atheist. My advice to Bolol was to remember that in confessing, he's not speaking to the priest but through the priest. The priest is a neutral conduit beytween the worshipper and God, which is why what is said in the confessional is not to be spoken of outside it: the confession was to God, the priest just happens to be the messenger.
Correct.

A priest does not intercede or mediate for the person making the confession. A sacrament is properly understood to be an outward expression of God's grace communicated through the Church. The grace does not come from the priest - rather, he is simply the minister of that grace. It does not come from him, but rather from God acting through him. It is much like a baptism - it is not the minister that baptises, nor even the water, but rather God working through the minister and water.

I don't think I've raped and pillaged since my past life as a member of Ghengis Khan's raiding parties.

Alot of the things you guy's have said have helped put alot of concerns at ease. This is something of a test of my own character. I want to start the new year and my first year in college with a clean slate.

Thanks again.

go in say what you who cares what the fucker thinks.

I don't think I've raped and pillaged since my past life as a member of Ghengis Khan's raiding parties.

Alot of the things you guy's have said have helped put alot of concerns at ease. This is something of a test of my own character. I want to start the new year and my first year in college with a clean slate.

Thanks again.
You'll do fine, don't worry about it. :)

I've been wanting to become more active in the church, to participate in the faith more than I have.

Now that I'm street legal, I'll be able to easier get to where I want to go. I want to start out by going to confession...but in all honesty I am scared shitless.

I have not confessed in over a year, and that one was done in the hospital while I was nigh unconcsious a few days before a surgery. I've done things that I am quite ashamed of (I obviously will not discuss it here), and it pains me to even think about it, let alone say it out loud to someone. I need some advice, any advice, on how to go through with this without getting an ulcer.

Thank you.

let me tell you a story..


my uncle (now deceased) had to go to confession in order to have a renewal of vows ceremony in the church for his 50th wedding anniversary. he hadnt been to confession in about 30 years and he had many many sins built up over that time.

not only that, but since that day back in the 60s when he had last gone to confession, it involved the little booth where you whisper to the side of the priests head. it has since come to involve sitting face to face with a priest as you must know.

he was dreading the experience and especially dreading confessing right to the priest's face things like infidelilty, drunkeness, and assorted other mortal sins. it was deeply difficult to say these things out loud.

but he did it. it was for his 50th anniversary after all.

he said afterwards that it was the best feeling. he had been bearing these sins and the guilt from them for 30 years and now they were gone. he very much enjoyed being able to take communion again. he continued with communion and confession until his health made it impossible.

priests have heard it all. really they have. they know how to deal with your sins and your guilt. whoever you go to will do so with understanding and compassion. (ask around, some are better than others eh?)

the important part of the process is that you are repentant enough to DO it. think about it, do you regret these sins or not? if you do, part of repentance is paying the price by confessing these sins out loud. if you dont do it, maybe you dont really feel all that badly about it after all.