NationStates Jolt Archive

When reading the situation below, please bear in mind that I have no experience of America at all, until last week.
I was recently on a bus in New York, and was sitting by myself. Perfectly fine. I rang home to my family, told them that America was quite good after you got over the fact that everyone was speakign English all around you.
And then a man came to sit next to me, about ten years older than me. And he said 'you have nice hair'. 'Oh,' I said, 'thankyou'. I continued staring out of the window. Five minutes later 'I like your boots'. 'Thankyou,' I said, hoping that he wasn't going to continue - I continued starign out of the window. About two minutes later, he said 'actually, I've changed my mind. i don't like your boots. I'd rather see what's under them.' Now, I don't know if this is normal in America, but, let me tell you, it's not in Luxembourg - by any means. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Then he asked my name. I told him that my name, as with my legs, were no concern of his, and that I would not be adressed in such a way again. It seems that what counts for a polite refusal in Luxembourg does not in America. I got off at the next stop, and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I would like to know what an American wouod advise me to do in this situation?

I told you they were rude...

that's not typical where I am from

if you are in a situation where someone is making you uncomfortable the best advice is to get out of that situation.

When reading the situation below, please bear in mind that I have no experience of America at all, until last week.
I was recently on a bus in New York, and was sitting by myself. PErfectly fine. I rang home to my famiyl, told them that America was quite good after you got over the fact that everyone was speakign English all around you.
And then a man came to sit next to me, about ten years older than me. And he said 'you have nice hair'. 'Oh,' I said, 'thankyou'. I continued staring out of the window. Five minutes later 'I like your boots'. 'Thankyou,' I said, hoping that he wasn't going to continue - I continued starign out of the window. About two minutes later, he said 'actually, I've changed my mind. i don't like your boots. I'd rather see what's under them.' Now, I don't know if this is normal in America, but, let me tell you, it's not in Luxembourg - by any means. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Then he asked my name. I told him that my name, as with my legs, were no concern of his, and that I would not be adressed in such a way again. It seems that what counts for a polite refusal in Luxembourg does not in America. I got off at the next stop, and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I would like to know what an American wouod advise me to do in this situation?

Congratulations. You met a creep. Most folks aren't like that.

When reading the situation below, please bear in mind that I have no experience of America at all, until last week.
I was recently on a bus in New York, and was sitting by myself. PErfectly fine. I rang home to my famiyl, told them that America was quite good after you got over the fact that everyone was speakign English all around you.
And then a man came to sit next to me, about ten years older than me. And he said 'you have nice hair'. 'Oh,' I said, 'thankyou'. I continued staring out of the window. Five minutes later 'I like your boots'. 'Thankyou,' I said, hoping that he wasn't going to continue - I continued starign out of the window. About two minutes later, he said 'actually, I've changed my mind. i don't like your boots. I'd rather see what's under them.' Now, I don't know if this is normal in America, but, let me tell you, it's not in Luxembourg - by any means. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Then he asked my name. I told him that my name, as with my legs, were no concern of his, and that I would not be adressed in such a way again. It seems that what counts for a polite refusal in Luxembourg does not in America. I got off at the next stop, and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I would like to know what an American wouod advise me to do in this situation?


I think, at the boots comment, I would have changed seats and then waited for the next stop.

The public transportation users in my town all wear headphones and bring books to read while on the bus specifically to deter encounters like yours.

I told you they were rude...

they weren't all rude...some even offered to take my photo without me asking - that surprised me a lot!

Sounds like you did exactly the same thing I would have done in that situation, so I have no words of wisdom for you.

When reading the situation below, please bear in mind that I have no experience of America at all, until last week.
I was recently on a bus in New York, and was sitting by myself. PErfectly fine. I rang home to my famiyl, told them that America was quite good after you got over the fact that everyone was speakign English all around you.
And then a man came to sit next to me, about ten years older than me. And he said 'you have nice hair'. 'Oh,' I said, 'thankyou'. I continued staring out of the window. Five minutes later 'I like your boots'. 'Thankyou,' I said, hoping that he wasn't going to continue - I continued starign out of the window. About two minutes later, he said 'actually, I've changed my mind. i don't like your boots. I'd rather see what's under them.' Now, I don't know if this is normal in America, but, let me tell you, it's not in Luxembourg - by any means. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Then he asked my name. I told him that my name, as with my legs, were no concern of his, and that I would not be adressed in such a way again. It seems that what counts for a polite refusal in Luxembourg does not in America. I got off at the next stop, and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I would like to know what an American wouod advise me to do in this situation?

Thats not normal, even for America. You didnt do anything wrong, the guy was weird.I would have just ignored him.

Yeah, that's definitely not normal. You did the right thing.

they weren't all rude...some even offered to take my photo without me asking - that surprised me a lot!

They either wanted to steal your camera and/or molest you.

Generally speaking,
Anyone who tries to egage you in converation on public transportation in America is crazy.

You have a natural advantage since you can speak a non- english language (I'm assuming). Just start speaking in it and hope they leave you alone.

Other methods:
1. Get headphones and don't take them off.

2. Carry a book around and bury your nose in it.

3. If all else fails just pretend to be crazier than they are.

Damn foot fetishers..

You have a natural advantage since you can speak a non- english language (I'm assuming). Just start speaking in it and hope they leave you alone.


Yes, I can - Luxembourg is a trilingual nation, so I am fluent in French, German and Luxembourgish. and if he understands them, I can always revert to Mandarin or Spanish.

Yes, I can - Luxembourg is a trilingual nation, so I am fluent in French, German and Luxembourgish. and if he understands them, I can always revert to Mandarin or Spanish.

stick to Luxembourish, nobody knows that.

anything else and you are at risk, a lot of Americans know the others (or enough of them to annoy you)

stick to Luxembourish, nobody knows that.

anything else and you are at risk, a lot of Americans know the others (or enough of them to annoy you)

I don't know why, but it always makes me grin when people say no-one understands Luxembourgish - though that's mostly true!

You get guys like that everywhere. I don't think it's specific to the States. I'm not pretty so the opposite usually happens to me, but I usually ignore it and they soon get bored. But insults is one thing, actual fear of being molested is another. You probably did the right thing. In getting up the guy might've got angry and even followed you.

Yeah, snafturi, the book thing generally works. Just pretend that you're deaf, or if you're not reading a book in the national language, than pretend that you can't understand what they're saying. I've often spoken in French to get myself out of sticky situations. Assuming thatas you're from Luxembourg then English isn't your first language, you shouldn't have answered back in English.

EDIT: I see that somebody has already suggested that! Me and my slow typing.

I don't know about America, but in England you don't talk to people on the train. Or even look at them, if you can help it.

An exception can be made if the train is still on the platform and you're asking someone if it's going to your stop.

I don't know why, but it always makes me grin when people say no-one understands Luxembourgish - though that's mostly true!

I have never heard it, ever. I have seen text, but not actually heard it spoken.

Awww, I'm sorry to hear you encountered a creepozoid! :(

Really, that happens sometimes. I live in NY and I do encounter my fair share of those idiots, but trust me it doesn't happen often.

In a similar situation, when I was in London some people were staring and laughing at me, because I was wobbling (I'm in a wheelchair and had to get out for a moment...) and it wasn't nice, but it happens, y'know? I felt weird because if I was in NY I would have slapped them one.

I don't know about America, but in England you don't talk to people on the train. Or even look at them, if you can help it.

An exception can be made if the train is still on the platform and you're asking someone if it's going to your stop.

I've talked to people on the train, it was last summer coming back from the Midlands and I sat on a table with a friend and two strangers. It was one of the hot days and in true British style the air conditioning was broken. Everyone was talking about the football with the world cup, its things like that which bring you together.

I live in Manchester, and generally people are more talkative that in the South.

Thats not normal, even for America. You didnt do anything wrong, the guy was weird.I would have just ignored him.

Even for America! :D

Changing seats would have been good, or even dropping off and waiting for the next bus (you needn't have taken a cab, you know). Sorry you met one of the City's less than exemplary citizens, but I see you met a few of the better ones, so it's not a total loss.

How's the trip been, anyway? or are you back home?

New York is a "special" place with "special" people (but certainly not all creeps or fetishers!).
You did the right thing as it was your first time in that situation, but Morganatron is absolutely right, just pick up and leave for another seat or wear a set of earbuds in your ears (even with the music off or no player in case you want to stay more alert).
Also, be careful about where you go and when as well as how you dress and behave (like not staring at a map in a subway station or carrying a fold out map outside your bag). You'll still meet crazies, but at least you stand a better chance of not being mistaken for an easy target tourist.

I have never heard it, ever. I have seen text, but not actually heard it spoken.

I'm not sure why these little Toremal tales feel like a scam.

Maybe its the babe in the woods energy they give off.

What person not familiar with a big city like NY gets on a city bus, anyway? Most people in her circumstances would have taken a taxi to start with, especially a rich individual.

This tale reeks.

If its true, then I'm sorry to hear you were so molested. It was probably some foreigner.:rolleyes:

Even for America! :D

Changing seats would have been good, or even dropping off and waiting for the next bus (you needn't have taken a cab, you know). Sorry you met one of the City's less than exemplary citizens, but I see you met a few of the better ones, so it's not a total loss.

How's the trip been, anyway? or are you back home?

You obviously haven't been diligent in reading my threads! Last week I got back from New York, and got married! The trip was great, saw some amazing stuff, but the marriage was better! I married last week.

New York does have it's share of crazies. Most New Yorkers aren't like that, I hope. I probably would have changed seats.

Congratulations. You met a creep. Most folks aren't like that.
Thats not normal, even for America. You didnt do anything wrong, the guy was weird.
Yeah, that's definitely not normal.
Generally speaking,
Anyone who tries to egage you in converation on public transportation in America is crazy.
I don't know about America, but in England you don't talk to people on the train. Or even look at them, if you can help it.
^ What they said.
The creeps and the crazies are drawn to public transportation like flies to rotten meat. Fact of life. Don't tell me you've never met a creep or a crazy person in the bus/tram/whatever in Luxembourg?

they weren't all rude...some even offered to take my photo without me asking - that surprised me a lot!
Gee, did you get your travel tips from Fass? Now, I've never been to New York City, but I have yet to meet an American who's rude to me (as a tourist, not as a roommate or something ;p).

They either wanted to steal your camera and/or molest you. :p

You obviously haven't been diligent in reading my threads! Last week I got back from New York, and got married! The trip was great, saw some amazing stuff, but the marriage was better! I married last week.

Whew, well, I can only plead an overdose of turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy and pie and ... and ... what are we talking bout?

Yes, as nice as New York is, I can appreciate your enjoying the marriage more.

Are you moving to Australia? See, I did remember that.

What person not familiar with a big city like NY gets on a city bus, anyway?
Uh... I would? How the hell else are you going to get around? Who's rich enough to go everywhere by cab??? o_O

As has already been pointed out, this is in no way typical American behavior. This is, instead, typical "disturbingly creepy guy" behavior, and every country has its share of disturbingly creepy guys. For some reason, they seem to like public transportation, which is why it's often wise to bring a book, headphones, or some other means of very obviously communicating the concept that you don't wish to talk to strangers.

I'm not sure why these little Toremal tales feel like a scam.

Maybe its the babe in the woods energy they give off.


This tale reeks.

If its true, then I'm sorry to hear you were so molested. It was probably some foreigner.:rolleyes:

Thankyou very much. and babe in the woods! I'd rather that you kept that to yourself - that was my first time in America, and its very different to Luxembourg. So, how would you fare in Luxembourg then? I'm sure you'd stride down a street and get everything that youn need, totally not a babe in the woods, despite the fact that people will refuse to speak English to you, and hardly go out of their way to help - I'm sure if a Luxembourgish creep got on your bus you'd be able to deal with it - despite the fact that it's not your native language, that you were preoccupried with those nagging last minute things with your marriage. At least this time you bothered to say sorry.

When reading the situation below, please bear in mind that I have no experience of America at all, until last week.
I was recently on a bus in New York, and was sitting by myself. Perfectly fine. I rang home to my family, told them that America was quite good after you got over the fact that everyone was speakign English all around you.
And then a man came to sit next to me, about ten years older than me. And he said 'you have nice hair'. 'Oh,' I said, 'thankyou'. I continued staring out of the window. Five minutes later 'I like your boots'. 'Thankyou,' I said, hoping that he wasn't going to continue - I continued starign out of the window. About two minutes later, he said 'actually, I've changed my mind. i don't like your boots. I'd rather see what's under them.' Now, I don't know if this is normal in America, but, let me tell you, it's not in Luxembourg - by any means. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Then he asked my name. I told him that my name, as with my legs, were no concern of his, and that I would not be adressed in such a way again. It seems that what counts for a polite refusal in Luxembourg does not in America. I got off at the next stop, and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I would like to know what an American wouod advise me to do in this situation?what would I have done in that situation? after he made the comment about seeing what's underneith them, I would ignore him. I would NOT give him my name, nor would I continue talking to him. if he/she persists in trying to start up a conversation, then I would move seats. sounds like he was either disturbed or was looking for something that you were not willing to give.

If he/she persists, then I will talk to the driver.

^ What they said.
The creeps and the crazies are drawn to public transportation like flies to rotten meat. Fact of life. Don't tell me you've never met a creep or a crazy person in the bus/tram/whatever in Luxembourg?


Yes, but you deal with them very differently. Yuo speak to them, and basically make them feel stupid - and your nosy co-travellers will be sure to listen in and jump in to help if you are a Luxembourger.

Uh... I would? How the hell else are you going to get around? Who's rich enough to go everywhere by cab??? o_O

Who's rich enough to go everywhere by bus?

Who's rich enough to go everywhere by bus?

bus pass=good and cheap.

I'm not sure why these little Toremal tales feel like a scam.

Maybe its the babe in the woods energy they give off.

What person not familiar with a big city like NY gets on a city bus, anyway? Most people in her circumstances would have taken a taxi to start with, especially a rich individual.

This tale reeks.

If its true, then I'm sorry to hear you were so molested. It was probably some foreigner.:rolleyes:

See I think this kind of attitude is exactly why you had this little encounter on the bus. For me public transport is perfectly natural. Its not compulsory to own a car.

I made a similar mistake my first time in LA. I arrived at the airport and jumped on a bus as I would always do at home. Why catch a taxi when there is just one of you?? It just doesn't make sense.

But public transport seems very different in the states. I am glad I did jump on the bus. I certainly saw a different side of LA than I would have otherwise.

bus pass=good and cheap.

Like a metrocard? Two dollars per ride in NYC is as cheap as it gets, i think.

Sounds like an average weirdo. I didn't even know NY had busses, thought they relied on subways. I wouldn't ride a bus in Winston-Salem much less a bus in NY (if the people who ride busses here are any indicator of what would be riding them in NY). And I'd only ride a subway during the day when lots of people were around. But if I went to NY I'd hope I had enough cash to hail a cab or knew someone who lived there that could help me get around or atleast escort me.

Be Safe.

Yes, but you deal with them very differently. Yuo speak to them, and basically make them feel stupid - and your nosy co-travellers will be sure to listen in and jump in to help if you are a Luxembourger.

Americans tend to mind their own business for the most part, if he would have followed you after you moved seats and you made it clear that he wasn't welcome to do so you probably would have gotten some help.

Please do not let one creepy American put you off on the lot of us.
Most Americans are decent people.

Who's rich enough to go everywhere by bus?people not rich enough to buy a car, make insurance payments and pay for maintenance. for me, $25 dollars a month (One week's worth of Gas) is enough to ride the bus.

Like a metrocard? Two dollars per ride in NYC is as cheap as it gets, i think.

I don't know about NY, but Seattle is $1.50 with one transfer. I can't remember if that's peak hours or not. I also know downtown is ride free off peak hours.

I'm jealous of my sister. Her company provides bus passes free to employees, the lousy bum.

Yes, but you deal with them very differently. Yuo speak to them, and basically make them feel stupid - and your nosy co-travellers will be sure to listen in and jump in to help if you are a Luxembourger.here, speaking to then only encourages them to interact with you. also, if you insult them, then you will tend to be viewed as the instigator and not the victim. shutting up and moving seats is a pretty obvious way to say "leave me alone"

Americans tend to mind their own business for the most part, if he would have followed you after you moved seats and you made it clear that he wasn't welcome to do so you probably would have gotten some help.*nods* I've done my share of blocking some creep from someone else by giving them my seat and standing right infront of them, or inserting myself between creep and target. and you don't mess with our bus drivers... people have been tossed off with the support of other passengers.

Who's rich enough to go everywhere by bus?
That expensive?
Well, it's here, too, if you buy single tickets, but most people have some monthly ticket - i.e. like a "bus pass" except it's for buses, subways and trams together.

Still expensive, but it's not like you really have an alternative apart from the car or the bike.

Maybe it's different in NYC because the city is so much bigger than Berlin - meaning you probably spend most of your time and run most of your errands inside your own burrough/neighborhood/whatever where there's maybe not much of a subway/bus net anyway.

But as a tourist, one would definitely buy some kind of public transportation pass for the duration of the stay!

Yes, but you deal with them very differently. Yuo speak to them, and basically make them feel stupid - and your nosy co-travellers will be sure to listen in and jump in to help if you are a Luxembourger.

Creeps? Maybe.

Crazies? Hell no!

Uh... I would? How the hell else are you going to get around? Who's rich enough to go everywhere by cab??? o_O

Toremal has already told us recently she is wealthy.

Toremal has already told us recently she is wealthy.

yes, I remember that, right before the 'Americans are fat, and lazy, and rude, and wear really bright colors that don't cover over their fat rolls' thread

Toremal has already told us recently she is wealthy.

I actually said my family was. So divide that by ten, you get 100,000. Airline Piltos are richer than me, thankyou very much. Oh, and one other thing. when you implyed that I made this up, i forgot to ask - what could I possibly hope to gain by making this up? I, to be quite honest, felt stupid after this - this was why I asked here, where I'm just faceless Toremal from Luxembourg.

I would have said "mostly fungi, sweat and scaly flakes of skin". But I'm a guy, so no one asks. :(

yes, I remember that, right before the 'Americans are fat, and lazy, and rude, and wear really bright colors that don't cover over their fat rolls' thread

I never said that. In Luxembourg, as I tried to tell you, we don't use sarcasm. i apologised that that came across as sarcastic, but I was saying that they're not - and, in this very thread, I have said that some of them were really nice and offered to take my photo. and, even when I was commenting on the stereotype, when did i say that you (assuming that you're American) wear bright colours that barely cover their rolls? The thread was ' what will america be like?' The answer: Great.

I would have said "mostly fungi, sweat and scaly flakes of skin". But I'm a guy, so no one asks. :(

:D

I never said that. In Luxembourg, as I tried to tell you, we don't use sarcasm. i apologised that that came across as sarcastic, but I was saying that they're not - and, in this very thread, I have said that some of them were really nice and offered to take my photo. and, even when I was commenting on the stereotype, when did i say that you (assuming that you're American) wear bright colours that barely cover their rolls? The thread was ' what will america be like?' The answer: Great.

Here in Luxembourg, the stereotypicla American is brash, loud, rude, and wears bright t-shirts, that fail to conceal an overweight body. They are also on the darker side of intelligent.

added the bold for you.

added the bold for you.

Oh, sorry, maybe I did say that. honestly, I didn't remeber saying it. But may I quote
'Here in Luxembourg, the stereotypicle American is brash, loud, rude, and wears bright t-shirts, that fail to conceal an overweight body. They are also on the darker side of intelligent.'
Stereotypical? Perhaps it implies not true? a stereotype, obviously, is not true. so how can you say that I called Americans nasty things, when I said the stereotypes you here when you're in Lycee. and I believe I said in this thread, or another, about the stereotypical Luxembourger - most of it is true (the unfriendly, unfashionable bit) but some of it was wrong - the not athletic bit - some are, some aren't. Just like some Luxembourgers wear bright colours. I wore a bright red dress for my wedding.

yes, I remember that, right before the 'Americans are fat, and lazy, and rude, and wear really bright colors that don't cover over their fat rolls' thread

Thanks Smunkee. I was too fat and lazy to look that up.

I actually said my family was. So divide that by ten, you get 100,000. Airline Piltos are richer than me, thankyou very much. Oh, and one other thing. when you implyed that I made this up, i forgot to ask - what could I possibly hope to gain by making this up? I, to be quite honest, felt stupid after this - this was why I asked here, where I'm just faceless Toremal from Luxembourg.

Only you know the truth there, Toremal. I dont even speculate as to what you could hope to gain.

She wouldnt gain anything. Stop being so stupid.

CL's been aggressive the past few days.... I like it. ;)

Well, if I get on the bus and some guy wants to see my feet, that's just fine. I kick his ass and let him smell my toes.

I hate buses.

CL's been aggressive the past few days.... I like it. ;)

Stop keeping track of me,damnit !! :p

Public transport is fine, as long as you're suitably protected. Sure, I'm not in America, but NZ is quite bad with it's P-Users. I always have earbuds in, wether or not I'm listening to music, heck, wether or not I have a music player :P

As for the 'sterotypical American' the ones that come here are often very patriotic, but as a rule, among the best of their countr apparently, so we're lucky.

I would have changed seat, no need to catch a cab, If I was there you would have had some help if things went bad. I'm a man-watcher (I study people in different environments as a hobby (I am not weird)) so I would have noticed :)

You met a weirdo on public transport. Every city has them. You did the right thing by moving away & getting out of the situation. I daresay he was not your typical New Yorker.

Seems like you got hit on by one of our homosexuals.:) Just tell him that either you're straight, or that you're already involved with someone else. Also since solicitation is illegal, you could threaten to tell the police on him. P.S. I am not homophobic. In fact I'm bi myself.

Uh... I would? How the hell else are you going to get around? Who's rich enough to go everywhere by cab??? o_O

The average Luxembourger. SRSLY.

When reading the situation below, please bear in mind that I have no experience of America at all, until last week.
I was recently on a bus in New York, and was sitting by myself. Perfectly fine. I rang home to my family, told them that America was quite good after you got over the fact that everyone was speakign English all around you.
And then a man came to sit next to me, about ten years older than me. And he said 'you have nice hair'. 'Oh,' I said, 'thankyou'. I continued staring out of the window. Five minutes later 'I like your boots'. 'Thankyou,' I said, hoping that he wasn't going to continue - I continued starign out of the window. About two minutes later, he said 'actually, I've changed my mind. i don't like your boots. I'd rather see what's under them.' Now, I don't know if this is normal in America, but, let me tell you, it's not in Luxembourg - by any means. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Then he asked my name. I told him that my name, as with my legs, were no concern of his, and that I would not be adressed in such a way again. It seems that what counts for a polite refusal in Luxembourg does not in America. I got off at the next stop, and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I would like to know what an American wouod advise me to do in this situation?

you got hit on. thats all... kinda freaky...but you got hit on. very sorry you had to see that part of this country.