NationStates Jolt Archive


Mark "Vin Diesel" Vincent don't deserve roles

JiangGuo
29-11-2006, 05:50
I'm sick and tired of him getting film roles he simply cannot perform well in.

On IMDB, it is stated he will be playing the role of Geneal Hannibal Barca of Carthage.

The historical Carthagian general was a incredible military strategist, politician and diplomat.

He wasn't some steriod-muscled ruffian!

Now, he's billed to play "Mr. 47" in the "Hitman" movie. It's based on the "Hitman" video game franchise.

Mr. 47 is a hired assassin working for an contracts agency.

Oh yeah, Mr. 47 is bald, emotionless, cold, cultured clone made by a stereotypical evil genius. Can Vin Diesel can perform a role with any of these attributes?

Skintone-wise, 47 is white as snow to the point of albino. How is a Hispanic-man going to do this? Madeup ain't going cover ALL of it?

These are only two of the roles he seriously does not deserve, not because he is an unskilled actor (which he is) but because the roles calls for somebody else.

He should stick to playing roles where he drives racing cars or play rough-edged tough guys.
Lacadaemon
29-11-2006, 05:52
Not to mention that Hanibal was a fat alcholic with one eye.
Duntscruwithus
29-11-2006, 06:09
I'm sick and tired of him getting film roles he simply cannot perform well in.

On IMDB, it is stated he will be playing the role of Geneal Hannibal Barca of Carthage.

The historical Carthagian general was a incredible military strategist, politician and diplomat.

He wasn't some steriod-muscled ruffian!

Now, he's billed to play "Mr. 47" in the "Hitman" movie. It's based on the "Hitman" video game franchise.

Mr. 47 is a hired assassin working for an contracts agency.

Oh yeah, Mr. 47 is bald, emotionless, cold, cultured clone made by a stereotypical evil genius. Can Vin Diesel can perform a role with any of these attributes?

Skintone-wise, 47 is white as snow to the point of albino. How is a Hispanic-man going to do this? Madeup ain't going cover ALL of it?

These are only two of the roles he seriously does not deserve, not because he is an unskilled actor (which he is) but because the roles calls for somebody else.

He should stick to playing roles where he drives racing cars or play rough-edged tough guys.


Stop making assumptions. Wait for the movies to come out, then decide if he did a good job. Who knows, he might be able to pull it off.

All the screenshots I've seen of Hitman, show a man with normal coloration. But anyways, making him look like he has extremely pale skin is one of the easiest parts of that. Make-up artists are very skilled.
Andaluciae
29-11-2006, 06:10
I know that Pitch Black was very well done, and he was well cast for the role of Riddick in that movie.
Maraque
29-11-2006, 06:13
Hispanic... ? Fathers black, mothers Irish. Where's the Hispanic again?
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:13
I know that Pitch Black was very well done, and he was well cast for the role of Riddick in that movie.

What part of it was very well done? The credits?
Dododecapod
29-11-2006, 06:15
What part of it was very well done? The credits?

You've gotta be kidding. Pitch Black was one of the best sci-fi movies of recent years!
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:15
You've gotta be kidding. Pitch Black was one of the best sci-fi movies of recent years!

whiskey tango foxtrot...

Pitch black was a pile of crap.
Duntscruwithus
29-11-2006, 06:16
Hispanic... ? Fathers black, mothers Irish. Where's the Hispanic again?

Must be the brown skin.
Andaluciae
29-11-2006, 06:16
You've gotta be kidding. Pitch Black was one of the best sci-fi movies of recent years!

It took a sci-fi film in a direction that they don't normally go in, and it worked.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:16
Forget it. NG seems to have a policy of hating pretty much everything.

No only lousy garbage.

Case in point: Pitch black, vin diesel, &c.

I will never forget vin diesel's line "you got duh gauge" in reference to a shot gun or something. Pure crap.

The Fast and the Furious took action movies in a direction they dont usually go too, and it sucked, too.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:20
I'm sick and tired of him getting film roles he simply cannot perform well in.

On IMDB, it is stated he will be playing the role of Geneal Hannibal Barca of Carthage.

The historical Carthagian general was a incredible military strategist, politician and diplomat.

He wasn't some steriod-muscled ruffian!

Now, he's billed to play "Mr. 47" in the "Hitman" movie. It's based on the "Hitman" video game franchise.

Mr. 47 is a hired assassin working for an contracts agency.

Oh yeah, Mr. 47 is bald, emotionless, cold, cultured clone made by a stereotypical evil genius. Can Vin Diesel can perform a role with any of these attributes?

Skintone-wise, 47 is white as snow to the point of albino. How is a Hispanic-man going to do this? Madeup ain't going cover ALL of it?

These are only two of the roles he seriously does not deserve, not because he is an unskilled actor (which he is) but because the roles calls for somebody else.

He should stick to playing roles where he drives racing cars or play rough-edged tough guys.


As shitty and annoying as the Hitman games are, they deserve a shitty and annoying actor for their inevitably shitty and annoying movie. Vin Diesel is perfect for the role.
Svalbardania
29-11-2006, 06:23
What part of it was very well done? The credits?

It was unique, slick, riveting, and most importantly a wholeheartedly enjoyable film. What WASN'T good about it?


Aside from the sequel that is...
Dododecapod
29-11-2006, 06:24
No only lousy garbage.

Case in point: Pitch black, vin diesel, &c.

I will never forget vin diesel's line "you got the gauge" in reference to a shot gun or something. Pure crap.

Man, I don't know where you're coming from. Riddick in Pitch Black is one of the great anti-heroes of cinema history (admittedly, Hollywood doesn't usually do anti-heroes well), they had a great (and logical) critter design, good acting, a script that didn't insult your intelligence, and characters that actually had depth and meaning! Most "Blockbusters" don't manage half of that.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:26
It was unique, slick, riveting, and most importantly a wholeheartedly enjoyable film. What WASN'T good about it?


Aside from the sequel that is...

The acting, the plot. Especially "You got duh gauge" spoken with all the fetal-alcohol-syndrome ADD-infused testosterone of a half-man-half-ape making his voice so low and dumb he's liable to choke.

There are better "scary monsters jump out and spook you" movies, MUCH better.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:27
Man, I don't know where you're coming from. Riddick in Pitch Black is one of the great anti-heroes of cinema history (admittedly, Hollywood doesn't usually do anti-heroes well), they had a great (and logical) critter design, good acting, a script that didn't insult your intelligence, and characters that actually had depth and meaning! Most "Blockbusters" don't manage half of that.

Uh huh. One of the great anti heroes of cinema history. :rolleyes: I'm sure they'll be teaching this one in film class.
Dododecapod
29-11-2006, 06:30
Uh huh. One of the great anti heroes of cinema history. :rolleyes: I'm sure they'll be teaching this one in film class.

If they did, at least half the audience wouldn't fall asleep.

Seriously, Pitch Black is a great movie, both as entertainment and technically. If you don't LIKE it, that's cool, everybody's tastes are different, but you're way off on your critical analysis here.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:35
If they did, at least half the audience wouldn't fall asleep.

Seriously, Pitch Black is a great movie, both as entertainment and technically. If you don't LIKE it, that's cool, everybody's tastes are different, but you're way off on your critical analysis here.

No, I remember it. There is a crossdressing kid and they crash on a planet and vin diesel is some sort of monkey criminal who says "you got duh gague" to the guy with the shotgun, and some guy is a drug addict, and it gets dark and the boogeyman keeps popping out to make the audience jump.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:38
Christ, next thing I know some miscreant will be defending that abortion-of-a-highschool-freshman-ADD-child's-fan-fiction "equilibrium."
Teh_pantless_hero
29-11-2006, 06:45
Uh huh. One of the great anti heroes of cinema history. :rolleyes: I'm sure they'll be teaching this one in film class.

Silly person, they don't teach things you want to learn about in school. I'm sure in film class they go over great works of film like French movies no one has ever fucking heard of.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:46
Silly person, they don't teach things you want to learn about in school. I'm sure in film class they go over great works of film like French movies no one has ever fucking heard of.

I've enjoyed immensely two thirds of the italian movies I'd never heard of in my film class. Pitch black doesn't make the cut though, I'm afraid.
Andaluciae
29-11-2006, 06:48
If they did, at least half the audience wouldn't fall asleep.



It'll beat the hell out of showing Eisenstein's "October" repeatedly. Ugh. Mind rot if I've ever seen it.

"Ooh! Look at the random machine! It's supposed to symbolize capitalism! Oooh! Ooooh!"
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:52
It'll beat the hell out of showing Eisenstein's "October" repeatedly. Ugh. Mind rot if I've ever seen it.

"Ooh! Look at the random machine! It's supposed to symbolize capitalism! Oooh! Ooooh!"

italian cinema > all

No Eisenstein's October for my film class.
Andaluciae
29-11-2006, 06:53
italian cinema > all

No Eisenstein's October for my film class.

Lucky bastard.

We had the prof cooing over October and Battleship Potemkin for three weeks. No sound, no story, nearly all suck.

In fact, the only bit that didn't suck was when the Cossacks went on a rampage. That was awesome.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 06:55
Lucky bastard.

We had the prof cooing over October and Battleship Potemkin for three weeks. No sound, no story, nearly all suck.

In fact, the only bit that didn't suck was when the Cossacks went on a rampage. That was awesome.

Cossacks know how to lay down the law.

I'm not a film student and took italian cinema on a lark, but it has become one of my favorite classes and the professor one of my favorite instructors.
Krataerbech
29-11-2006, 06:59
Silly, you don't understand. The movie about Carthage is going to be a comedy, and Vin Diesel's going to speak in his normal voice.

XD
Dododecapod
29-11-2006, 06:59
We got Eisenstein. Battleship Potemkin, Aleksandr Nevsky and both parts of Ivan the Terrible.

I have to admit, I loved every minute of it (I'm a classic film buff, and Eisenstein was a fucking genius), but I can understand why a lot of other people wouldn't.
New Granada
29-11-2006, 07:01
Silly, you don't understand. The movie about Carthage is going to be a comedy, and Vin Diesel's going to speak in his normal voice.

XD

"Uhh, i gunna take carthudg uhh, faggot, yo unnastand? faggot? i gunna take carthudg yo"
Krataerbech
29-11-2006, 07:03
Perhaps even funnier. Vin Diesel has a lisp.
Dododecapod
29-11-2006, 07:04
"Uhh, i gunna take carthudg uhh, faggot, yo unnastand? faggot? i gunna take carthudg yo"

Now, here's my problem: Vin Diesel, though he has a deep and gravelly voice, is quite erudite. We're not talking Sly Stallone as Rocky here.
Demented Hamsters
29-11-2006, 07:30
Stop making assumptions. Wait for the movies to come out, then decide if he did a good job. Who knows, he might be able to pull it off.
Great. You suggest we wait til this turkey is out before we decide it sucks.
And then what?
Think the movie studios will make another version with a better suited actor?

Face it: Vin's definitely not a good choice for Carthage.
Also not for Hitman, but for different reasons. Mainly cause his appeal is as an dumb violent action hero. If Vin's chosen, I think we can safely assume that's the direction the Hitman movie will take. Which just turns it into yet another bland pointless Vin Diesel vehicle to promote his biceps, action sequences and slow-witted speech patterns.

It just up two of the worst aspects of Hollywood: Their lack of imagination ("Hitman 47's bald. Vin Diesel's bald....Hey! Perfect fit!") and lack of ability/initerest in making worthwhile quality movies ("Hannibal - hmmm...fat, drunk one-eyed general who overcame immense odds: lots of intrigue, drama, action, pathos....be a difficult, challenging role for anyone...But if we give it to Vin and have a few half-naked girls and stampeding elephants, we're assured of $80 mill at the box office")
JiangGuo
29-11-2006, 07:32
As shitty and annoying as the Hitman games are, they deserve a shitty and annoying actor for their inevitably shitty and annoying movie. Vin Diesel is perfect for the role.

*Toogles sneak*
*Creeps behind New Granada*
Wrriing!
*Sound of New Granada's corpse hitting the floor*

Anyone else want to attack Hitman in this thread?
New Granada
29-11-2006, 07:46
*Toogles sneak*
*Creeps behind New Granada*
Wrriing!
*Sound of New Granada's corpse hitting the floor*

Anyone else want to attack Hitman in this thread?

Come on, they stole the name "hitman" (which could have been an awesome game) and made you some bald headed albino retard genetically engineered by Doctor Evil. Shitty fucking game designers.
JiangGuo
29-11-2006, 07:51
Come on, they stole the name "hitman" (which could have been an awesome game) and made you some bald headed albino retard genetically engineered by Doctor Evil. Shitty fucking game designers.

The game does have short-comings, especially in the behavior of NPCs. The clone origin story is just a bit tired, he would have been better sourced as a just-another-human orphan who had military experience.

Can you name a another sneaker/RPG game that gives you that much great atmosphere as well as that many tactical options for completing the job?

The "Rainbow Six" franchise games are definitely weak in those two areas.
Soviet Haaregrad
29-11-2006, 08:11
Silly person, they don't teach things you want to learn about in school. I'm sure in film class they go over great works of film like French movies no one has ever fucking heard of.

I assure you Quentin Tarantino has heard of them, seen them, and ripped off scenes from them. :D