NationStates Jolt Archive

Yes, this is sure to be an interesting thread. So tell us about the night that ended up creating you!

My story:

My mom was at a bar. My dad was at the same bar. My mom got drunk. My dad took her home. 'Nuff said.

Sechs.

Ever since I figured out it involved heterosexuality (my parents were sick that way), I've not wanted to know any detail whatsoever.

there was this stork, right. and a gooseberry bush. and the stork got tired when it was flapping along and plumetted out of the sky, dropping me on my head. i bounced under this gooseberry bush and then my parents found me there. and the rest might be history if i was important enough.

Yes, this is sure to be an interesting thread. So tell us about the night that ended up creating you!


Ewwww!!!!! GAWD NO!!!! :eek:

The usual way.

Though my mother was in the military, and at that time pregnant women were automatically discharged. My father had already been discharged and Mom had a couple of years to go. So they got her pregnant as quickly as possible so she could be discharged. I was born 13 months after they married.

Ewwww!!!!! GAWD NO!!!! :eek:

It's a fantastic moment when you learn you're a drunk-baby. :D

The usual way.

Though my mother was in the military, and at that time pregnant women were automatically discharged. My father had already been discharged and Mom had a couple of years to go. So they got her pregnant as quickly as possible so she could be discharged. I was born 13 months after they married.

...When was this?

Never bothered to ask.

anally.


Someone was going to say it, might as well be me.


The true story? I was concieved during Hurricane Gloria. My town lost power, and my sister went to bed early. My parents got bored. They (appearently) amused eachother.
I think it helps explain my enjoyment of destruction.

Holiday in the summer. That's all I wanna know.

My parents wanted another kid.

anally.

Someone was going to say it, might as well be me.

At least it beat immaculately.

I don't know (nor do I want to know) any specific details, but they've told me that they were trying to conceive for about seven years before I was conceived (I'm the oldest child in my family.) So that's about all I know.

...When was this?Back in the 60's. My parents are both Vietnam era veterans.

Back in the 60's. My parents are both Vietnam era veterans.

Ah. I guess they threw out that rule by '79...

Conceived? The man inserts his ... didn't they explain this to you in 6th grade?

Gee, thanks for making me think of my parents having sex. That'll stay with me the rest of the evening.

Well, the way I understand it, my mommy and my daddy loved each other VERY much, so they got married and telegrammed the stork and I was left under a cabbage leaf.

I was one of those unplanned kids who just happened...

I was supposed have been born in February, but, I slept in, and was born by c-section, after my mother went into labour and stopped shortly after, in March. The doctors pulled out a 9 lb, 13oz baby girl...

I was concieved in sin. ;)

never ask and never will

Sperm: "Yooooo, wazzzzaaaaaaapppp?!?!!?"
Egg: "Nothing man! Wud'up wit'chu?"
Sperm: "Naw! I gotta crash into you now and multiply!!!!"
Egg: "Awww hell no, you aint gunna fertilize this egg!!!!"
Sperm: "O RLY?!??!!?!"
Egg: "YA RLY! Bitch, don't touch me!!!"
Sperm: "Wut'chu talkin about fooo?!?!!?"
Egg: "Touch me one more time and I'll slap you back to the testicle you came from!!!!"
Sperm: "HIIII-YAAA!!!!" *bashes into egg*
Egg: "AW HELL NO!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!! I'M BECOMINFERTALIIZZZZZEEEDDDDDD...."

Fetus: "YEEEEEEE-HAWWWWW!!!!!"

:)

I don't really know, but considering when my birthday is, my parents were probably huddling under the covers for, er, warmth.

It’s honestly never come up.

Gee, thanks for making me think of my parents having sex. That'll stay with me the rest of the evening.
“The thought that my parents had to have sex to create me makes me want to burry myself alive” ~ Nathan Explosion

Conceived? The man inserts his ... didn't they explain this to you in 6th grade?

Gee, thanks for making me think of my parents having sex. That'll stay with me the rest of the evening.

Same here. And I just ate dinner too. parent-sex...... Shudder.

Um... I dunno. I assume it had something to do with sex, though. Maybe not...

;)

I was adopted. :eek:

Immaculate Conception.

Well looking at my birthday and the date that my parents were married. I'd say probably during the honeymoon troop or a little after, probably in some monotonous and mundane place like the bedroom. This isnt something I ask my parents you know.

Me: "Hey dad, you know 9 months before I was born?"
Dad: "Yeah"
Me:"Where were the two of you together?
Dad : Um?
Me :"........doing it?"
Dad: .... "What you think you were adopted?"

I don't really know, which is good. There is a myth that my mom was in a porno, but I was always told that I sprouted up in a cabbage patch and my mom was going to name me Magic. Ok, that's not 100% truth.

Honestly, I don't know and it's probably best that way. I do know that my mother and father got married after I was conceived, but before I was born. So I'm not a bastard. That's good enough for me.

I can never recall being an infant or a child. All I remember was the green liquid and being in the glass sphere...coming out, many men in surgical attire. Dozens more spheres in rows and rows...

I have a barcode on the back of my neck, it is my serial number. 640509-040147.

I technically have 5 fathers and MANY brothers, they were exactly identical to me.

I would eventually kill all of them after I escaped from that asylym in Romania.

*First one to call this bullshit will get fibre-wired.*

I dunno, but my brother's an "oops" baby.

I dunno, but my brother's an "oops" baby.

So is my sister. I called her a mistake once when we were younger and earned a good talking to from my parents. Apparently, they said she was a 'gift'.

Born January First...

*counts backwards in months*

...conceived April Fools Day.

Apparently, they said she was a 'gift'.

As in 'Dad, I just gifted your car into a tree'?

My dad was a ZPG (Zero population growth) advocate.. but then my mums friends all started to get pregnant and she got clucky. She went off the pill and told my dad.. he went on a 2 week skiing holiday as he couldn't trust himself, however lucky for me eventually he couldn't stand the no sex policy any longer and returned.. and I was concieved first egg off the rank after 15 years on the pill..

My mum's "friends" said I would be a bad egg... and low and behold they were right :)

I was a mistake.

I do not have so intimate a relationship with my parents that I would know the story of my conception, nor have I any interest in such. Sorry if I sound like a stick in the mud. Funny that this is something I have no curiosity about . . .

I've been told that I'm living proof that the "Rhythm Method" doesn't work.

Knowing my mom, I was an immaculate conception. "Unbeleckte Empfaengnis", you could say. :D

I dunno, but my brother's an "oops" baby.

Yep, my youngest brother was an accident too. "Forget about the pill once - and here's what you'll get. This family is as fertile as the Habsburgs" is what my mom would regularly say about him.

Conceived? The man inserts his ... didn't they explain this to you in 6th grade?

Gee, thanks for making me think of my parents having sex. That'll stay with me the rest of the evening.

Then imagine that someone had to concieve them...

Ever since I figured out it involved heterosexuality (my parents were sick that way), I've not wanted to know any detail whatsoever.

You know, this gives me the perfect opportunity to ask something I've always wondered: what do your parents think of you being a homosexual? Are they crazy American-like fundies who hate you because of it? Do they simply tolorate it only because you are their son? Or are they the cool kind who understand that it doesn't matter?

Conceived of my own mind. I thought myself into existance.

I have no idea how I came about......probably some sick and twisted stuff though.

Conceived of my own mind. I thought myself into existance.

How were you able to think yourself into existence if you did not exist until you thought yourself into existance?

You know, this gives me the perfect opportunity to ask something I've always wondered: what do your parents think of you being a homosexual? Are they crazy American-like fundies who hate you because of it? Do they simply tolorate it only because you are their son? Or are they the cool kind who understand that it doesn't matter?

While not at all "crazy American-like fundies," one cannot say that they are the tolerating or "cool" kind, either. Our relationship is not the best, no.

While not at all "crazy American-like fundies," one cannot say that they are the tolerating or "cool" kind, either. Our relationship is not the best, no.

This gives me insight into your character. Helps me understand why you are the Fass that you are. I'd express sympathy, but you probably wouldn't care for it.

As for my conception...I was an accident. Not only that, but they were convinced I was a girl right up to my birth by C-section.

...frankly, I really wish they had been right...

My parents wanted another kid.

Same for me ;)

I have no idea. I don't think I was an accident, though; were I, they would probably have brought it up in an argument.

the hell should I know?

"Hey Dad, when did you knock up Mum? What brought that idea on?" "...."

How were you able to think yourself into existence if you did not exist until you thought yourself into existance?

It's a koan.

It's a koan.

Koans make baby Spock cry. :(

I find it amazing i was even born

My parents conceived 4 children in 5 years but the 1st and 3rd got miscarraige. good thing cause my mom said if the first one was born, i would not have existed

I find it amazing i was even born

My parents conceived 4 children in 5 years but the 1st and 3rd got miscarraige. good thing cause my mom said if the first one was born, i would not have existed

...

Did you just say that a miscarriage was a good thing?!

My parents had sex, I've never wanted to find out more than that.

the hell should I know?

"Hey Dad, when did you knock up Mum? What brought that idea on?" "...."

Indeed. I'm here. I don't really want to know how or where.

... why do people know this?

... why do people know this?

Why would people want to know this?

Why would people want to know this?

Seconded.

They(the science community at large) haven't figured out yet. The current theory is that I'm the bastard offspring of Eris and The Cod.

It's honestly something I don't want to think about. Ever.

Why would people want to know this?
I don't think you want to know that.

This gives me insight into your character. Helps me understand why you are the Fass that you are.

No, no it doesn't, so spare me the pseudo-analysis.

I'd express sympathy, but you probably wouldn't care for it.

Bingo.

I was brought about by a very unlikely quantum fluctuation induced by an infinite improbability drive.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

My conception involved the collision between the penis and the vagina.
The rest herstory :D

My father cornered my mother in an alley and raped her.

well they met at university when my mum couldn’t open the new kind of can (the ones we have now) and she asked my dad for help, :fluffle: im not sure about the conceiving and I don’t really want to know!! Yay im proud of my unknown nation!

ive heard worse in a forum

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/firstpostto0.jpg

To be honest, I've never really wanted to know

ive heard worse in a forumHas it ever killed the topic?

See? It's dead. I killed the fucking topic. God dammit, I hate myself sometimes.

I get the feeling you don't get along with your father all that much, Catch.

I only ever met the bastard once. And no, I don't like him.

See? It's dead. I killed the fucking topic. God dammit, I hate myself sometimes.

Or maybe the topic was dying anyway, what with it being 5 pages long and all. Take your martyr complex elsewhere.

Or maybe the topic was dying anyway, what with it being 5 pages long and all. Take your martyr complex elsewhere.
Sorry.

Ever since I figured out it involved heterosexuality (my parents were sick that way), I've not wanted to know any detail whatsoever.
Ever since I figured out it involved my parents and nudity, I've not wanted to know any detail whatsoever.

I was never conceived!

I willed myself out of a pile of logic and hate.

This is a question one should never contemplate, or be asked to contemplate.

Yes, this is sure to be an interesting thread. So tell us about the night that ended up creating you!

My story:

My mom was at a bar. My dad was at the same bar. My mom got drunk. My dad took her home. 'Nuff said.
After seven years of marriage, my mother informed my father that she was going to have a baby. She offered him the option of participating in this process. He assented.

After seven years of marriage, my mother informed my father that she was going to have a baby. She offered him the option of participating in this process. He assented.

Wow-sounds like a load of fun.

After seven years of marriage, my mother informed my father that she was going to have a baby. She offered him the option of participating in this process. He assented.

Your mum didn't mess around, did she. :p

After seven years of marriage, my mother informed my father that she was going to have a baby. She offered him the option of participating in this process. He assented.

I wonder if she worded it like that......

Wow-sounds like a load of fun.

If Bottle's mum is anything like Bottle, it must have been :D

Your mum didn't mess around, did she. :p
Well, they got married through pretty much the same process.

They'd been dating for three years, and living together for a year, when my mother informed my father that they needed to either get married or break up. So they got married.

One thing I've always liked about my mother is that she is very clear about what she wants. She's not one of those annoying people who expects you to read their minds, or who beats around the bush and tries to get you to guess what they're really after. My dad says he likes that about her, too, since it makes their discussions a whole lot shorter and lets him get back to reading the paper sooner.

I wonder if she worded it like that......
All my dad will say about it is that she was "very convincing" in her arguments for having a baby.

:D

If Bottle's mum is anything like Bottle, it must have been :D

I dont know- it sounds like there may have been instructions and supervision, corrections made, etc...

There was an experiment conducted at General Atomics in the early 1960s...

I dont know- it sounds like there may have been instructions and supervision, corrections made, etc...
Quite frankly, I'm not really prepared to meditate on my parents' bedroom behaviors. I mean, I know they did it, I know they do it, and I know they both come back from their aniversary vacations wearing shit-eating grins...and that's about as much as I can handle.

Well, they got married through pretty much the same process.

They'd been dating for three years, and living together for a year, when my mother informed my father that they needed to either get married or break up. So they got married.

One thing I've always liked about my mother is that she is very clear about what she wants. She's not one of those annoying people who expects you to read their minds, or who beats around the bush and tries to get you to guess what they're really after. My dad says he likes that about her, too, since it makes their discussions a whole lot shorter and lets him get back to reading the paper sooner.

that's interesting to me.....

that's interesting to me.....
My lover says that every time he comes to visit my family he understands me a little better. This year, his Thanksgiving revelation was that my family expresses affection by antagonizing each other. :D

My lover says that every time he comes to visit my family he understands me a little better. This year, his Thanksgiving revelation was that my family expresses affection by antagonizing each other. :D

Oh, so your whole family posts on NS General?

Oh, so your whole family posts on NS General?
Heh, if only!

All my dad will say about it is that she was "very convincing" in her arguments for having a baby.

:D

In her arguements for having a baby, or for a taking the first step towards having a baby :D

Heh, if only!
if they did :eek:

Lets start with the bible shall we?

You remember that woman, Mary? The kid she had? My bro. :p My 2006 yr old bro. We both have the same father. so he's my step bro really. thats right, I'm the second Messiah! :p

I was one of those unplanned kids who just happened...

I was supposed have been born in February, but, I slept in, and was born by c-section, after my mother went into labour and stopped shortly after, in March. The doctors pulled out a 9 lb, 13oz baby girl...

Jeez, isn't that a bit excessive? :p

Lets start with the bible shall we?

You remember that woman, Mary? The kid she had? My bro. :p My 2006 yr old bro. We both have the same father. so he's my step bro really. thats right, I'm the second Messiah! :p

What? Your brother doesn't exist? You've got me in tears here.

I was an Oops child, my mother was pregnant when she went for her six week exam after giving birth to my brother.

I was born a month late, and my brother and I are 11 months apart. I'm September, he's October. Irish twins.

I was born 23 1/2 inches tall, and 9lbs 8oz.

I wasn't, because my parents have never had sex, Understood?:D

Knowing my mom, I was an immaculate conception. "Unbeleckte Empfaengnis", you could say. :D
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/erm.gif Is that really what you wanted to say?!?

I was an Oops child, my mother was pregnant when she went for her six week exam after giving birth to my brother.

I was born a month late, and my brother and I are 11 months apart. I'm September, he's October. Irish twins.

I was born 23 1/2 inches tall, and 9lbs 8oz.

Oy vey...

Oy vey...

As my mother has said "Imagine if I'd liked the bastard".

This sounds like a conversation in my calculus class in senior year of high school. My mother wanted to have a kid, but fertility problems run in the family so they never used contraceptives. After 8 years of marriage, my parents decided they wanted to have a kid. However, my mother's cycle was acting wacky again, so she decided to have a checkup beforehand.

"Um, you're already pregnant."
"Oh. Okay then."

Haha.... so I'm sorta an 'oops' or a 'surprise'... but I was being planned! I remember in my old math class, there was a guy who was apparantly really really wanted. His parents tried for 5 years, and so they opted for in vitro in the end. So he was REALLY wanted. Another girl, who was Japanese, said her parents said "the Japanese population is dwindling, so 2 children to 'replace' us is not enough." As kid #3, she's their contribution to the Japanese population :D

Frankly, I don't remember. It was so long ago.

Sperm: "Yooooo, wazzzzaaaaaaapppp?!?!!?"
Egg: "Nothing man! Wud'up wit'chu?"
Sperm: "Naw! I gotta crash into you now and multiply!!!!"
Egg: "Awww hell no, you aint gunna fertilize this egg!!!!"
Sperm: "O RLY?!??!!?!"
Egg: "YA RLY! Bitch, don't touch me!!!"
Sperm: "Wut'chu talkin about fooo?!?!!?"
Egg: "Touch me one more time and I'll slap you back to the testicle you came from!!!!"
Sperm: "HIIII-YAAA!!!!" *bashes into egg*
Egg: "AW HELL NO!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!! I'M BECOMINFERTALIIZZZZZEEEDDDDDD...."

Fetus: "YEEEEEEE-HAWWWWW!!!!!"

:)



I think you meant to say at the end:

Fetus: "Oh this is gonna be a gaseous experience..."