NationStates Jolt Archive

Have you ever called in sick to work just because you didn't want to go? I did once. I was working a day job and a night job, and had a halloween party to attend. Clearly I couldn't go in to work. My presence was required at the festivities. I needed an excuse. I called in to my night job and told them I'd been hit by a car and was in the hospital with my leg "all messed up". They asked if I would be coming in the next day. "Sure, no problem". When asked about my leg I just told them it felt all better.

Anyhow, the following news story has some interesting excuses. Look them over and share your own.

http://www.wftv.com/money/10405430/detail.html

I called in last spring because a tree fell on my house........that was actually true though. I probably could have gone to work anyway, but I thought it best to stay home.

I called in once in highschool so that I could take the SAT, I told my boss that I thought that someone had slipped something into my drink and I couldn't drive. That lie didn't last long though when my bosses son saw me at the testing center. :(

And of course, when the manager heard about the man who was hit by a bus, he replied, no doubt, "I don't care if you're dead; get your ass in here and work!"

That said, "Employee was sad" was the best one.

I generally don't take days off unless I have a good reason to...and at my old job, "I hate my job" was acceptable part of the time.

You've gotta use something somewhat embarrassing. If you call up and say you've got explosive diarrhea, for instance, your boss is gonna go "ew!" and not question it.

or the fellow who said he broke his leg snowboarding off the roof while drunk.
I'd actually believe that one. Sounds like a really good way to break your leg.

This is great! *takes notes*

Called in because a tree landed on my truck.

It did, well, part of a tree, spent the better part of a day chopping it up. Kicker is the city came by the night of the storm and cut up some of the limbs, the part that was out in the street and just left the rest on my truck.

Rude bastards woke me up with their chainsaws at 2AM and didn't even have the courtesy to slice that maple off of my truck.

I've been at my current job for 6 yrs come the end Feb. ' 07. I haven't ever called in sick and I don't intend to. I've been blessed with Good Health.

I like Jeff Foxworthy's excuse of......having exploding diarrhea. :D

I've been at my current job for 6 yrs come the end Feb. ' 07. I haven't ever called in sick and I don't intend to. I've been blessed with Good Health.

I like Jeff Foxworthy's excuse of......having exploding diarrhea. :D

If you haven't been sick that's cool, but when you are sick you should call out. It's not just for your sake, but it's better for the business if you don't show up and infect every other employee with your flu or whatever.

One day I'm going to 'phone up, "I can't come in, I'm sick".

"What are you sick with?"

"Getting up and going to work in the morning!"

I can imagine that "Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out" and "Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway" are actually true :)

If you haven't been sick that's cool, but when you are sick you should call out. It's not just for your sake, but it's better for the business if you don't show up and infect every other employee with your flu or whatever.

Yeah. Also, if you're ill and go in you won't get much of use done anyway, and you'll take longer to get better, so it's more efficient to take one day off than have several feeling crap.
I've only actually had one day off work sick so far, which isn't too bad considering I'm 25.

Sometimes its good to call in to work just to have a day off when you really need it. Mental health is just as important as physical. I'm more enjoyable happy.

But I wouldn't say that. I always do really ditzy things. Unusual circumstances like getting stuck in the middle of nowhere usually work really well for me.

You've gotta use something somewhat embarrassing. If you call up and say you've got explosive diarrhea, for instance, your boss is gonna go "ew!" and not question it.

Bingo!! That one was never questioned.

I work from home now and have taken ONE sick day in 4 years-for surgery.

I like the escaped buffalo one in the article.

Some friends of mine came up with a list of tardy excuses, but they could be extended to cover absences, too:


Dog ate my underwear
Long orgasm
Train rerouted through Staten Island (New Yorkers only)
I have Multiple Personality Disorder & went to my other job


Those are the ones I remember.

I was on my way to work one day and was hit with a sudden case of projectile vomiting. I called my boss to say I couldn't come in, he said he didn't care and I better not be late. I couldn't really drive an puke so I stayed in the parking lot until I was done. I got to work ten minutes late and covered in vomit.

My boss berated me for being late, saying there was never an excuse to be late. As for having to work the entire day covered in vomit: Well I should have thought of that before I came to work and maybe brought a change of clothes with me.

I was on my way to work one day and was hit with a sudden case of projectile vomiting. I called my boss to say I couldn't come in, he said he didn't care and I better not be late. I couldn't really drive an puke so I stayed in the parking lot until I was done. I got to work ten minutes late and covered in vomit.

My boss berated me for being late, saying there was never an excuse to be late. As for having to work the entire day covered in vomit: Well I should have thought of that before I came to work and maybe brought a change of clothes with me.

You need to find a new job.

If you haven't been sick that's cool, but when you are sick you should call out. It's not just for your sake, but it's better for the business if you don't show up and infect every other employee with your flu or whatever.

I work for a small business, so it's very important (as I see it) not to call in sick. However, it can be spread easily considering I have to man the 2 line phone and also having to man the highsight radios and other marine vhf radios along with having the computer and what ever else. We have very good disinfectant sprays and also Clorox wipes to wipe down everything. I do get sick maybe once a year and it typically is either the common cold or flu which both are very contagious but we keep our equipment pretty clean and wipe down at the start of our shift.

I was on my way to work one day and was hit with a sudden case of projectile vomiting. I called my boss to say I couldn't come in, he said he didn't care and I better not be late. I couldn't really drive an puke so I stayed in the parking lot until I was done. I got to work ten minutes late and covered in vomit.

My boss berated me for being late, saying there was never an excuse to be late. As for having to work the entire day covered in vomit: Well I should have thought of that before I came to work and maybe brought a change of clothes with me.

You should have vomited on the boss and into some expensive electronic equipment, like his laptop.

I skipped an exam because the thought of taking it made me feel like puking (surprisingly, deciding not to go made me feel much better). When I finally got asked as to why I didn't go, I just answered "Nothing a doctor would sign."

I've never called in sick mainly because I never had a job. But I remember in middle school my teacher was going over the calender of when he wouldnt be in class. He was saying "Hm well on friday I have a meeting, next week my son has a doctor's appointment and next friday I'll be sick.":D

I worked for a bank years ago- the first year I completed, the week of my one year anniversary there, I got an inter-office envelope with a happy anniversary card, signed by the president of the bank and a bonus check equal to one two-week pay period and a note congratulating me on perfect attendance. I didnt know about this or expect it til I got it-I was just never sick and I really liked the job.

Needless to say, I had perfect attendance and fat bonus checks to match for the next two years I worked there.

I called in last spring because a tree fell on my house........that was actually true though. I probably could have gone to work anyway, but I thought it best to stay home.

I called in once in highschool so that I could take the SAT, I told my boss that I thought that someone had slipped something into my drink and I couldn't drive. That lie didn't last long though when my bosses son saw me at the testing center. :(

You probably could have said you were taking your SAT.
Education takes priority. Any boss asshole enough to object to that would probably tell you to get in the car, roofies and all, and haul your ass to work!

"Date rape is no excuse to miss work."

i have called in and just plainly said "im not going to be able to come in today"

and ended it there. i prefer not to let my managers know of my personal life.

...
Long orgasm
...


Nah-eece!

"Sorry, too high on crack to work today."

Never called in sick without a legitimate excuse. My job isn't really secure enough to warrant that. I'm likely to be replaced if I start having too many.

But she warned that using sick days as vacation days can get you in trouble, especially if a colleague spots you.

And that's a worry too. I have a habit of bumping into people exactly when I don't want to see them. ;)

I'd actually believe that one. Sounds like a really good way to break your leg.

I also believe the one about

4) Employee called from his cell phone, said he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and no one was around to let him out.

Cuz I can just imagine that happening.

One day I'm going to 'phone up, "I can't come in, I'm sick".

"What are you sick with?"

"Getting up and going to work in the morning!"

I can imagine that "Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out" and "Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway" are actually true :)


I actually blew my back out by sneezing once. That was no fun.

I called in sick on my way to Dublin on the train. The only problem was that I worked at a call centre and the screens showed that my call was coming from the south rather than Northern Ireland. I miss that job

Not so much a creative excuse as a lesson learned for me

EDIT: I should probably clarify I worked in Belfast

I called in sick to work on a weekend last month, but forgot to prepare an excuse for my supervisor. An almsot literal transcript follows:

ME: I can't come in today.
HER: Oh? Why?
(a couple moments of silence while my mind desperately attempts to stop me from blurting out something stupid)
ME: I have AIDS!
HER: What!?
ME: Wait! . . . no . . . I . . . *hangs up*

Fortunately, she hasn't commented, so I guess I'm in the clear until someone feels the need to blackmail me about it.

" The most popular motivator for missing work was the need to relax, according to nearly half (48 percent) of workers. Twenty-four percent of workers pointed to the desire to catch up on sleep while 20 percent cited personal errands. Other top reasons included doctors appointments (17 percent), plans with family and friends (16 percent) and housework (16 percent). "

Usually my reason when I have worked 5 day a week jobs(and 5 days straight is too many for me ..4 days straight is about the max I can handle without getting burnt out on it). I miss my job where I worked 12 hours shifts Fri, Sat and Sun and had the rest of the week off. It rocked. I'd much rather go in and get it over with than stretch them hours out over an entire week.

I called in sick to work on a weekend last month, but forgot to prepare an excuse for my supervisor. An almsot literal transcript follows:

ME: I can't come in today.
HER: Oh? Why?
(a couple moments of silence while my mind desperately attempts to stop me from blurting out something stupid)
ME: I have AIDS!
HER: What!?
ME: Wait! . . . no . . . I . . . *hangs up*

Fortunately, she hasn't commented, so I guess I'm in the clear until someone feels the need to blackmail me about it.
ROFLMAO

...Or until the day the sympathy cards start coming in and someone sets up a paypal account to help pay for treatment.

I worked for a bank years ago- the first year I completed, the week of my one year anniversary there, I got an inter-office envelope with a happy anniversary card, signed by the president of the bank and a bonus check equal to one two-week pay period and a note congratulating me on perfect attendance. I didnt know about this or expect it til I got it-I was just never sick and I really liked the job.

Needless to say, I had perfect attendance and fat bonus checks to match for the next two years I worked there.

That's cool. If I ever get a job I like .. I doubt I'll call in unless it is really needed.

I worked for a bank years ago- the first year I completed, the week of my one year anniversary there, I got an inter-office envelope with a happy anniversary card, signed by the president of the bank and a bonus check equal to one two-week pay period and a note congratulating me on perfect attendance. I didnt know about this or expect it til I got it-I was just never sick and I really liked the job.

Needless to say, I had perfect attendance and fat bonus checks to match for the next two years I worked there.

So you're one of those guys that come in sick and spread the germs to the rest of us. Thanks! That's why the company gives you sick time, so you don't make the rest of us sick.

But still, a two week bonus for perfect attendance. That's amazing.

Nah-eece!

"Sorry, too high on crack to work today."

:D

And, uhm, you do know it's "e. e. cummings," not "E. B. Cummings," right? He even signed his name that way. He just didn't believe in capitalization, I guess.

I actually blew my back out by sneezing once. That was no fun.

I've put ribs out sneezing. Which I wasn't so concerned about as it also felt like someone had forced sandpaper down my throat.

As for me, I've missed one day of work - I had food poisoning. Honest ;) As for school/college I've missed quite a few (if in school, say you're dizzy and seeing spots because you got hit in the face by a football. Works like a charm :D).

In fact, I had today off college (and probably tomorrow too) but then I am actually ill atm, which sucks ass.

So you're one of those guys that come in sick and spread the germs to the rest of us. Thanks! That's why the company gives you sick time, so you don't make the rest of us sick.

But still, a two week bonus for perfect attendance. That's amazing.

No-I'm just really never sick. ANd I'm a big proponent of NOT spreading the sickness. I cant stand people that go in sick and leave there filthy mucous microbes everywhere.
I'm a regualr hand washer and Purell user. And never let anyone touch my stuff-my phone, pen, etc...

You only get a certain amount of sick days each year, it'd be a terrible shame to let them get wasted.

You only get a certain amount of sick days each year, it'd be a terrible shame to let them get wasted.

Unless,of course, you are otherwise compensated for them.

No-I'm just really never sick. ANd I'm a big proponent of NOT spreading the sickness. I cant stand people that go in sick and leave there filthy mucous microbes everywhere.
I'm a regualr hand washer and Purell user. And never let anyone touch my stuff-my phone, pen, etc...

Granted, one should never go into to work if one is sick enough to infect others. That's just polite common sense.

On the subject of antibacterial soap and lotions, I'm not quite sure I absolutely approve of their constatnt use. They do not kill all bacteria, so the ones the Purell doesn't get just gets stronger, and passes it's resistance down to its offspring. This is how we get resistant strains of the little buggers.

No-I'm just really never sick. ANd I'm a big proponent of NOT spreading the sickness. I cant stand people that go in sick and leave there filthy mucous microbes everywhere.
I'm a regualr hand washer and Purell user. And never let anyone touch my stuff-my phone, pen, etc...

I wash my hands a lot at work, too. I'm convinced it has done more to keep me well than getting the annual flu shot that the company offers.

We had an IT guy at one place I worked who would spray keyboards with some kind of disinfectant, then put on a pair of latex gloves. I don't know why he just didn't log in remotely and fix the problems that way.

Granted, one should never go into to work if one is sick enough to infect others. That's just polite common sense.

On the subject of antibacterial soap and lotions, I'm not quite sure I absolutely approve of their constatnt use. They do not kill all bacteria, so the ones the Purell doesn't get just gets stronger, and passes it's resistance down to its offspring. This is how we get resistant strains of the little buggers.

I just use regular soap and hot water. Sudding up past the wrists and make sure to focus on the fingernails. When I go out and touch money and door handles, cart handles etc.. I can literally feel that my hands aren't clean. I've made a habit out of not touching anywhere on my face and especially not touching anything I'm going to eat until I thoroughly wash my hands after touching things in public. And when I ever have to use a public restroom I never touch the flushing handle with my hands.. I usually just push it with my shoe when I'm done.

Perhaps, aside from sick days, there ought to be mental health days (as the concept mentioned in the article). Certainly for stressfull jobs it'd make sense, aside from vacation time. Sometimes you just need a day off for a sanity check, rather than go postal.

Perhaps, aside from sick days, there ought to be mental health days (as the concept mentioned in the article). Certainly for stressfull jobs it'd make sense, aside from vacation time. Sometimes you just need a day off for a sanity check, rather than go postal.

I don't think I'd object to one of my engineers taking a mental health day off. If you can't work, you don't belong there. I'd rather have him take the day off than to show up and make mistakes.

Occasionally, I used to call in 'Well'. When asked, I'd explain, "I'm not sick enough to come to work today." :D

When i was in my old job i had really bad flu but got ordered into work. My throat was sore and i generally felt rough. I got to work and managed to cut my finger. I wiped the blood into a hanky and next time i had a coughing fit i was like ' Hello I'm coughing blood' and managed to get sent home, Next day i rang in sick no problem lol

When i was in my old job i had really bad flu but got ordered into work. My throat was sore and i generally felt rough. I got to work and managed to cut my finger. I wiped the blood into a hanky and next time i had a coughing fit i was like ' Hello I'm coughing blood' and managed to get sent home, Next day i rang in sick no problem lol

Hope you weren't in food service.