NationStates Jolt Archive

..of the Universal Life Church. Now, I ask you denizens of Nation States, what should be my first act as a minister?

Face towards the sun, bow...and let slip the winds of colon.

Excommunicate MTAE from the hallowed halls of NS.Exurge Domine!

Face towards the sun, bow...and let slip the winds of colon.

Done.

Excommunicate MTAE from the hallowed halls of NS.Exurge Domine!

I think this exceeds my authority. What has "MTAE" done thats so horrible?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-ORdxOMnv4&mode=related&search=

:D

I just applied.

Done.

Excellent. The Sun God™ is pleased. He will reward you by bestowing cancer upon your enemies.

Bake some cookies.

hold a coup and declare yourself space pope.

You're years behind...I signed up in about 2001 :p

..of the Universal Life Church. Now, I ask you denizens of Nation States, what should be my first act as a minister?
What is your church? If I join, does it mean I'm not going to hell?

Convert to Islam.

i would suggest doing meth with a gay prostitute... i know its trendy but how will you know if you like it unless you try

i would suggest doing meth with a gay prostitute... i know its trendy but how will you know if you like it unless you try

You win the internet.

..of the Universal Life Church. Now, I ask you denizens of Nation States, what should be my first act as a minister?

Pray for originality, ask penitence for old, tired internet jokes.

..of the Universal Life Church.

Wow, how rare. :rolleyes:

I recommend you wear all black, read Harry Potter aloud in sermons, offer alchohol as refreshments, smoke pot, condone gay sex, trick everyone in your congregation into joining NSG, and worship the moon gods and offer cute little puppies to them.

:)

I recommend you wear all black, read Harry Potter aloud in sermons, offer alchohol as refreshments, smoke pot, condone gay sex, trick everyone in your congregation into joining NSG, and worship the moon gods and offer cute little puppies to them.

:)

You do realise that being a minister of the Universal Life Church means http://www.austmus.gov.au/birds/images/eggs/008.jpg, right?

You do realise that being a minister of the Universal Life Church means http://www.austmus.gov.au/birds/images/eggs/008.jpg, right?

:confused:

:confused:

Goose egg = nothing.

...trick everyone in your congregation into joining NSG,...

Okay, some things are just TOO evil! :eek:

Okay, some things are just TOO evil! :eek:

I am the daughter of Satan. Fear me, biatch. :D

I am the daughter of Satan. Fear me, biatch. :D

http://www.bunnychampers.net/ann.coulter.jpg

:eek: Please don't kill me. *cowers*

http://www.bunnychampers.net/ann.coulter.jpg

:eek: Please don't kill me. *cowers*

Sig me, and you shall live, fearful one. :)

Sig me, and you shall live, fearful one. :)

Or, you could read from this handy reference card and make sure you're the first to die!
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h297/Aenimus/warninglabel12.jpg

Or, you could read from this handy reference card and make sure you're the first to die!
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h297/Aenimus/warninglabel12.jpg

Meh.

Meh.

>.>

<.<

*sacrifices Pancake to Cthulhu*

Ahaha, I still have to go down to the courthouse so I can marry people. I've been yelling at passersby and trying to baptize them with Mountain Dew. EXTREEEEEME!!

>.>

<.<

*sacrifices Pancake to Cthulhu*

*sacrifices LNI to ebil breakfast god*

*sacrifices LNI to ebil breakfast god*

*kills food ninjas, eats waffles*

The Universal Life Church (or ULC) is a religious organization that offers anyone immediate ordination as a ULC minister free of charge. The organization states that anyone can become a minister immediately, without having to go through the pre-ordination process required by other religious faiths. This organization, its ordinations, and its honorary doctorates (many of which do not require fulfilling any academic course or standard of achievement), are not recognized by any larger traditional church or faith.
Hmm...

Sig me, and you shall live, fearful one. :)

Ah, but I know your only weakness. :)

You win the internet.

i don't want the internet... its full of religious freaks and eastern european pornographers and japanese people dressed up in animal suits... plus my basement gets water in it when it rains so i have nowhere to put all the servers.

Ah, but I know your only weakness. :)

O RLY?

I preached my first sermon this morning. Does this mean I can be ordained too?!?!

I preached my first sermon this morning. Does this mean I can be ordained too?!?!
sure i'll ordain you right now in any sect or cult you want... name your poison.

..of the Universal Life Church. Now, I ask you denizens of Nation States, what should be my first act as a minister?

Hah I beat you! I've been ordained through the Universal Life Church for 2 years lol.

I am the daughter of Satan. Fear me, biatch. :D

:eek:
you didnt tell me this when we got married

first i suggest you explain just exactly what the Universal Life Church is...because...i've never heard of it.

Have a good ol' fashioned Witch hunt. But make it a family event. This way you can have fun and still show everyone that you're all business.

..of the Universal Life Church. Now, I ask you denizens of Nation States, what should be my first act as a minister?

Apply for CO draft status so it comes through before needed.