NationStates Jolt Archive

My worst is The Dark Backward. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101660/

So bad, depressing and weird it actually hurt my brain to try to watch it. I literally had to change the channel because I felt so uncomfortable watching this surreal turd.

damn you! you beat me to this!

There can only be one!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065832/

Even your movie got two more stars then it! :D

I want to say "Manos, the Hands of Fate" but I've never seen it...

I'd have to say...I'd have to get back to you on that one.

House of a 1000 Corpses
Scary Movie 4
Dreamcatcher

Just to name a few...

Not counting MST3k movies, it's a contest between these.

Biker Zombies From Detroit (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298250/)

Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106743/)

House of a 1000 Corpses:eek:
Scary Movie 4
Dreamcatcher

Just to name a few...

House of 1000 Corpses? Certainly not the best flick ever, and yes, I think the sequal kicked its ass, but definitly not the worst movie ever...IMO!!!

I think, once again, that 'Napolean Dynamite' runs away with this!!!

Ultraviolet.

Worst piece of shit move ever.

Scary Movie 4

That was terrible.

Many years ago, when I was a wee High School laddie, one of the local cable stations used to run a greaty Sturday line up of bad Hang Kong Kung Fu movies, assorted awful action movies, and miscreated monster movies.

One afternoon they ran a movie under the title Motorcycle Gangs of Hong Kong. Unfortunately or fortunately, I have never been able to find it anywhere else, because it was the singularly worst commercial film I have ever seen, and I've seen some stinkers that make Hercules in New York look excellent.

Even worse have been some of the student and amateur films I've seen. A very small local English 'zine had an amateur film contest several years ago. The horror, the horror...

Naked Lunch (http://imdb.com/title/tt0102511/).

Street Fighter.. but in a good way.

Naked Lunch (http://imdb.com/title/tt0102511/).

I think people need to see the plot outline for this one.

Plot Outline: After developing an addiction to the substance he uses to kill bugs, an exterminator accidentally murders his wife and becomes involved in a secret government plot being orchestrated by giant bugs in an Islamic port town in Africa.

Fortunately, I have a powerful psychic sense that alerts me to bad movies before it's too late. It rarely lets me down. the most recent time it has, however, was "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". Wow, did that suck! :p

"The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". Wow, did that suck! :p

You obviously have no taste. That film was a gorgeous pastiche of 50s and 60s marine kitsch, executed to quasi-perfection.

Anyway, my vote goes to six films: Star Wars. I-III are utterly unforgivable, IV-VI are utterly forgettable.

A tie between Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Scoop.

I think people need to see the plot outline for this one.
As long as people don't start watching the movie, all is good.

That film was a gorgeous pastiche of 50s and 60s marine kitsch, executed to quasi-perfection.


Yeah, that's what sucked about it. :p

Yeah, that's what sucked about it. :p

That's what proves your unsurprising lack of taste.

That's what proves your unsurprising lack of taste.
Look who's talking. You just dissed Episodes IV, V, and VI.

That's what proves your unsurprising lack of taste.

...


You smell.






































;)

Look who's talking. You just dissed Episodes IV, V, and VI.

Of course I did. "Space Opera meets cinnamon bun hair, horrible acting and the Care Bears."

"It shit was."

...

You smell. ;)

Thank you for noticing. I have been trying out a new Dolce & Gabbana.

Of course I did. "Space Opera meets cinnamon bun hair, horrible acting and the Care Bears."

"It shit was."

Yeah, but in all fairness, so was The Life Aquatic.

I'm making no friends here, but at least I'm telling the truth.

Of course I did. "Space Opera meets cinnamon bun hair, horrible acting and the Care Bears."

"It shit was."
"You have failed me for the last time."

*force-chokes Fass*

Ah. Much better now.

In my defense... I worked in a video store. I watched a lot of movies, in a 'professional' capacity.

That said:

Envy

(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416721/)

I present the plot summary. Be warned, the movie is not as good as this makes it sound:

"The film opens with Stacy (Regan D'Lyn) and Lydia (Charlotte Mangum) drinking in a redneck bar. The bartender (Tony Simmons)then accosts Stacy. Lydia embarrasses the assailant by criticizing his small package and the girls escape. Outside the bar Stacy attempts to quickly relieve herself and encounters the Penis Fairy (Michael Garrett), a magical drag queen who assists Stacy by granting her a wish of growing a penis whenever she wants one. Along with her new body part she also sprouts a full mustache and tattoos. Lydia, who already has masculine tendencies, gets jealous and desires what used to typically be a male organ of her own. Tragedy results through lack of self acceptance."

The acting is terrible. The 'special effects' are entirely non-special... including people obviously walking in place against backdrops that don't even move, and lighting so poor that shadows are visible on the sky.

Yeah, but in all fairness, so was The Life Aquatic.

No, that would be in all lack of taste. The Life Aquatic was creative, beautiful and exquisitely acted; almost like a "Le Grand Bleu meets Jacques Cousteau meets post-modernism."

I'm making no friends here, but at least I'm telling the truth.

That's not why you aren't making any friends, honey.

"You have failed me for the last time."

*force-chokes Fass*

Ah. Much better now.

Oh, yeah, and "the Force." All those things I mentioned + pseudo-religious poppycock.

No, that would be in all lack of taste. The Life Aquatic was creative, beautiful and exquisitely acted; almost like a "Le Grand Bleu meets Jacques Cousteau meets post-modernism."



That's not why you aren't making any friends, honey.

Meh, to each his own. You like shit movies, go ahead and watch 'em.

I'd have to say the most boring one was probably One Hour Photo, but I'm sure there's a lot worse than that. Maybe I'm just sheltered. :confused:

Oh, yeah, and "the Force." All those things I mentioned + pseudo-religious poppycock.

http://www.theonlinecandyshop.com/ProductImages/poppycockoriginal.jpg

Mmm.... Poppycock.

Meh, to each his own. You like shit movies, go ahead and watch 'em.

No, sweetie, "shit" doesn't mean "sublime."

No, sweetie, "shit" doesn't mean "sublime."

It does if you've got some sort of scat fetish.

I don't get how you like a comedy that isn't the least bit funny.

It does if you've got some sort of scat fetish.

Well, you'd know.

I don't get how you like a comedy that isn't the least bit funny.

Because it was smart-funny. Sure, that excludes wafts of people from getting it, obviously, but I'm glad the director stuck to the principle.

Cabin Boy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109361/)

Stupid. Unfunny.

Titanic. Forced to sit through it, didn't even get laid for my effort :eek:
Worst sequel ever: For as good as the original was, Gods Must Be Crazy II was abysmal :(

TitanicWorst sequel ever: For as good as the original was, Gods Must Be Crazy II was abysmal :(

Yeah, and number one set such a high standard, too! :rolleyes:

You Got Male Genitalia.

The Exocist

It is just so mind-numbingly snore-a-rific.

Anyway, my vote goes to six films: Star Wars. I-III are utterly unforgivable, IV-VI are utterly forgettable.

I think you either just enjoy being contrary, or heartless and pretentiously elitist.

I think you either just enjoy being contrary, or heartless and pretentiously elitist.

While all those most certainly are fun and would probably apply, in this case it's just me being erudite.

Ohhh, woe is me! Can't we all just get along? It pains me; this bickering between DCD, Fass, and the most innocent victim in this vicious triangle of hatred, poor lil' Lunatic Goofballs!!! Stop! Just stop it before I get angry...and you won't like me when I'm angry! *notices muscles bulging and an ever-so-slight greenish tint to the skin*

Pink Flamingos. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_Flamingos) By FAR. The lead actor/actress eats a real dog shit in the finale, it features a gesticulating anus that sings along to a musical beat, a live chicken being killed by being crushed between two people having sex, a man flashing himself to a woman with a giant German sausage tied to his cock and loads of other highly fucked up stuff.

That's not the reason I nominate it though. The acting was so bad I killed an entire Eastern European nation to make it stop.

Fassigen, if you were truly erudite, you would realize that the Star Wars movies were KIDS movies. You can laugh at middle-aged Star Wars fags all you want, and you can think whatever you want about other fans, but you can't say that the movies are terrible.

Well, you can SAY they're terrible, but that only shows your utter lack of intelligence. Erudite? Try trogloDYTE, nearSIGHTed, and full of SHITE.

You fucking douche.

Fassigen, if you were truly erudite, you would realize that the Star Wars movies were KIDS movies. You can laugh at middle-aged Star Wars fags all you want, and you can think whatever you want about other fans, but you can't say that the movies are terrible.

Jar-Jar. Hayden Christensen. The Force. Dialogue that would make the devil gouge his own eyes out if he weren't a figment of Christians' imaginations. George Lucas is a bloody hack, he was for IV-VI, and it's just tragic the world needed I-III to finally see what was previously so painfully obvious.

Well, you can SAY they're terrible, but that only shows your utter lack of intelligence. Erudite? Try trogloDYTE, nearSIGHTed, and full of SHITE.

You fucking douche.

Ooh, I apparently stepped on the toes of one of these illustrious "Star Wars fags." Grow some skin, pumpkin, and move out of your parents' basement. And drop the self-loathing homophobia - that's the biggest turn off of them all.

Pink Flamingos. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_Flamingos) By FAR. The lead actor/actress eats a real dog shit in the finale, it features a gesticulating anus that sings along to a musical beat, a live chicken being killed by being crushed between two people having sex, a man flashing himself to a woman with a giant German sausage tied to his cock and loads of other highly fucked up stuff.

Sounds entertaining and makes me want to see it.

Sounds entertaining and makes me want to see it.

It's John Waters. His stuff is high-quality trash.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117550/

It's John Waters. His stuff is high-quality trash.

One can but covet the kitsch. Shamefully, of course, in this case, but still.

Zoolander and House of 1000 Corpses top my list...

As soon as I saw this thread, I thought to myself, "I'll bet some knucklehead who wants to look unique chooses all the Star Wars films."

I'm psychic.

You obviously have no taste. That film was a gorgeous pastiche of 50s and 60s marine kitsch, executed to quasi-perfection.

Anyway, my vote goes to six films: Star Wars. I-III are utterly unforgivable, IV-VI are utterly forgettable.

I agree with you on I-III, and IV-VI aren't my favourites either, but I have to give them merit for incredible music. John Williams is amazing.

As soon as I saw this thread, I thought to myself, "I'll bet some knucklehead who wants to look unique says all the Star Wars films."

Please, I'm not unique in any way if you can predict that the enormous suckitude of Star Wars will be pointed out. It's just indicative of them being such shit.

I agree with you on I-III, and IV-VI aren't my favourites either, but I have to give them merit for incredible music. John Williams is amazing.

Well, I wouldn't know about "amazing," but it is true that the score wasn't nearly as awful as everything else associated. I must say that the opening theme at a first listening made you think "ooh, this is ominous, this might actually be decent." Not the composer's fault that one was let down, I guess.

Coincidentally, I also thought to myself, "I'll bet he gets defensive immediately after I post this in order to try to prove his fake point."

Psychic.

Coincidentally, I also thought to myself, "I'll bet he gets defensive immediately after I post this in order to try to prove his fake point."

Psychic.

"Look at me, I can't defend the films, so I'll make pretend like they're not what need defending, just like I pretend the force made me oh, so psychic to predict when someone who stood for their opinion continues to stand for it. Aren't you proud of me, Lucas?"

I just remembered one even worse than the ones I'd mentioned before.

Surf Nazis Must Die (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094077/)

Best line from that movie: "I'm looking for something that'll blow the head of a honky at 20 paces"

As soon as I saw this thread, I thought to myself, "I'll bet some knucklehead who wants to look unique chooses all the Star Wars films."

I'm psychic.

I happen to agree with Fass. Star Wars, all of them, are shit. They're just not the shittest.

Probably isn't the worst film of all time, but it's the only one I can think of off the top of my head: The Last Castle.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0272020/

I happen to agree with Fass. Star Wars, all of them, are shit. They're just not the shittest.

True. Shittiest series of movies, IMHO of course, is the James Bond series.

I happen to agree with Fass. Star Wars, all of them, are shit. They're just not the shittest.

The thing is, one must have perspective. For instance, "Plan 9 from outer space" is never depicted as good. Most really awful films are recognised for what they are - really awful, and most of the time there is no annoying little fanboy that urges you to watch them because they're supposed to be good, but because they're supposed to be bad.

In the case of Star Wars, that is not the case. You actually have people thinking they're good. This mass delusional effect is what makes the films the shittiest, in that so much money and effort was sunk into them to make them good, but instead they form a vortex of ineptitude from which not even Sir Alec Guinness could escape. And for that, they deserve any raspberry they get.

The Girl from Monday (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388973/)

After watching this I wanted the hour and a half of my life that I wasted back.

The thread is about worst movie ever. This is a chance for us to all outdo each other with the most abysmal, wretched, stinking piece of cinema ever. It's for the bottom of the barrel. This is Manos Hands of Fate time here. This is where we discuss Orgy of the Dead and Frankenstein General Hospital.

Anyone who picks a popular film isn't being honest, they're being childish and looking for a fight. You know you can't declare The Life Aquatic or Star Wars to be the worst film without someone taking the bait. Worse, you know you're a fucking liar. Regardless of your actual opinion of those films, both of them are better than a true stinker like The Man with Two Heads (the 1972 Andy Milligan film).

Seriously, if we want to have fun getting in fistfights because this guy wants to anger David Lynch fans and that guy wants to say everything Chris Farley did is crap, then let's do it under an appropriately worded banner, okay? Somebody go start up "Worst High Profile Films" or "Most Overrated Films" or "Films I Hate That Everyone Else Seems to Love." Hell, I'll jump in on that last one and draw a million flames because of my loathing for Office Space.

But let's not fall to hyperbole, shall we? My vote for actual worst film is definitely Orgy of the Dead. Even someone who loves the camp of Ed Wood has got to see that this is just unfunny dreck.

The Girl from Monday (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388973/)

After watching this I wanted the hour and a half of my life that I wasted back.

Well, it's a Hal Hartley film, and those can break either way. I haven't seen this one but, if it's the kind that turns out awful, I'm fully prepared to believe it's a stinker.

everything Chris Farley did is crap

Everything Chris Farley did is crap. Not even the skits with him in SNL are funny - he was just a sad and pitiable John Belushi aper. :\

I think you either just enjoy being contrary, or heartless and pretentiously elitist.

Much as I hate to agree with Fass - he's far from the only person that finds the whole 'Star Wars' thing so overrated. Different strokes for different folks maybe, but I wouldn't piss on the Star Wars films if they were on fire.

Two-way tie between Madagascar, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and Starsky and Hutch

It Could Happen to You.
Lucky Numbers.
Knights Tale.
Cat in the Hat w/ Mike Meyers.
Lord of the G-Strings. Well, no. That was ok.

Everything Chris Farley did is crap. Not even the skits with him in SNL are funny - he was just a sad and pitiable John Belushi aper. :\

You are crazy if this isn't funny to you:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/28025/

It Could Happen to You.
Lucky Numbers.
Knights Tale.
Cat in the Hat w/ Mike Meyers.
Lord of the G-Strings. Well, no. That was ok.

A Knight's Tale? Really?? Damn, and I thought that was a pretty good flic!!!
Then again, I'm a fan of the 1996 Romeo & Juliet flic! Yeah, the one with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes! I just think mixing Old World with Modern Times is cool!

A Knight's Tale? Really?? Damn, and I thought that was a pretty good flic!!!
Then again, I'm a fan of the 1996 Romeo & Juliet flic! Yeah, the one with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes! I just think mixing Old World with Modern Times is cool!

Romeo & Juliet was well done.

Knights Tale was not.

You are crazy if this isn't funny to you:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/28025/

I must be crazy, then, because there was nothing funny about that. Additionally, it's like everything Farley ever did - yelling and shouting and acting like a stupid oaf. It was old before he even did it.

The worst film ever has to be this film called The 13th Kingdom. It had no story line, no plot, the acting was terrible. I wanted to be physically sick

I must be crazy, then, because there was nothing funny about that. Additionally, it's like everything Farley ever did - yelling and shouting and acting like a stupid oaf. It was old before he even did it.

But this time it was over coffee!

Alright.

Point taken but it still makes me laugh.

The thread is about worst movie ever. This is a chance for us to all outdo each other with the most abysmal, wretched, stinking piece of cinema ever. It's for the bottom of the barrel.

Anyone who picks a popular film isn't being honest, they're being childish and looking for a fight. You know you can't declare The Life Aquatic or Star Wars to be the worst film without someone taking the bait. Worse, you know you're a fucking liar. Regardless of your actual opinion of those films, both of them are better than a true stinker like The Man with Two Heads (the 1972 Andy Milligan film).

I must disagree with you here! I am, in no way, trying to be a pompous ass! I am not posting my opinion with hopes of inciting a flame war!! I just really, truly, and honestly believe that Napolean Dynamite was the worst movie I've ever had the extreme displeasrue of enduring!

Napolean Dynamite and Star Wars Episode One.

Starship troopers 2. It was even worse for me because I liked the original.

The Paris Hilton Sex Tape, of course!

Worst Sequel - Moonraker. Or Die Another Day. Eugh.

I think manos hand of fate takes the prize in this thread. I couldn't even watch the whole thing on a mystery science theater dvd because it was so awful. Even the insults couldn't make the film enjoyable.

I'd also have to say that even though Riki-Oh the Story of Ricky is by far one of the funniest films I've seen it could win this prize because its so funny due to how awful the movie is. Its got stuff ranging from a random dog getting kicked in half to a guy disembowling himself and then proceeding to try to strangle another guy to death with his own large intestine. Words can not accurately describe how hilariously awful that movie is.

It's Pat. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110169/)

Much as I hate to agree with Fass - he's far from the only person that finds the whole 'Star Wars' thing so overrated. Different strokes for different folks maybe, but I wouldn't piss on the Star Wars films if they were on fire.

So you think I am part of a "mass delusion" because I think they're good? My opinion must be false since it differs from yours? Cuz that's what Fass is saying. I'm delusional. Oh no, it couldn't be that I actually like the movies! :rolleyes:

Manos. Nothing can come close.

Star Wars: Ep. 2.

stuck between the "eh, somewhat action-y" Ep. 1 and "how darth vader comes about" Ep. 3, George Lucas happens to stick a cushiony love story into another prequel almost as bad as the first one.

Wondering how Lucas even dreamed up this movie gives me nightmares.

You are crazy if this isn't funny to you:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/28025/

What if it is like the opposite of funny? Wuldn't that make you crazy for being amused?

I found it painful, unfunny, and tedious.

So you think I am part of a "mass delusion" because I think they're good? My opinion must be false since it differs from yours? Cuz that's what Fass is saying. I'm delusional. Oh no, it couldn't be that I actually like the movies! :rolleyes:

No. I think it more likely you are just caught up in 'liking-it-because-everyone-likes-it', the same scenrio that has convinced those who count such things that the Godfather films have ever been worth watching.

It is sad because, not only are the Star Wars movies poor examples of film, they are poor examples of genre film. Even worse, they are poor examples of Lucas' own material - "THX 1138" (for example) being vastly superior.

"The Perfect Storm". I do not believe any justification is necessary in this case

Equilibrium, battlefield earth, a day without a mexican, house of 1k corpses

You are crazy if this isn't funny to you:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/28025/

You win. :)

Hmm, this is a tough one. It's probably a toss up between Legend of the Overfiend and Red Dawn.

Titanic, horrid over hyped movie. Just horrible from start to finish with a sound track to make Seppuku appealing.
Ghost Ship, awful story line, rife with physical impossibilities and bad acting.
The Core, Just one question, this super ultra-tough metal, how did they shape the metal?
The Day After Tomorrow, what a bullshit movie, and stupid besides.

I've seen many movies and dont know if I could dub one "the Worst ever"- there are many that fall into that category, unfortunately.

Many years ago,we saw a movie called "Deadly Friend". It was really, really bad.
That one does stick out in my mind as a top ten worst.

I saw "Babel" a couple of weeks ago and thought it was an over-rated suckfest.

Extreme Dating

legally blonde II always sticks in my mind as pretty aweful, even went to the cinema to see that one. american werewolf in paris was also terrible.

Not counting MST3k movies, it's a contest between these.

Biker Zombies From Detroit (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298250/)

Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106743/)
Dude, I liked Dollman vs. Demonic Toys.

Demonic Toys wasn't such a good film, but Dollman was pretty good. And Bad Channels was awful. But put the three together and you get Dollman vs. Demonic Toys.

Really, any film with Tim Thomerson is good.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200720/

The House of Mirth

Hell, I'll jump in on that last one and draw a million flames because of my loathing for Office Space.

Thank you. Thank you, sweet merciful Flying Spaghetti Monster. Now I know I'm not the only person on the planet who thought Office Space was a load of horse manure. And as for people who defend movies to their deaths - say what you will about Star Wars, Star Trek, or whatever the hell The Life Aquatic is about and their fans, in my experience, the most stubborn supporters of a movie are the dittoheads who love Office Space.

What's worse, I've actually lost job opportunities because I dared to admit I didn't like the movie. Granted, I wasn't right for the job anyway, but my preference for a Mike Judge flick should have no bearing in a decision of whether or not to recommend me for a position.

That said, I have to throw out a suggested terrible movie of my own:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0186589/

Why I was possessed to see that movie is beyond my comprehension.

That said, I have to throw out a suggested terrible movie of my own:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0186589/

Why I was possessed to see that movie is beyond my comprehension.

It doesnt even have any nudity as a slightly redeeming feature.

It doesnt even have any nudity as a slightly redeeming feature.

And I do mean "slightly"...none of those actresses were THAT hot. I might change my mind if there were nudity, but...sadly, there wasn't.

The worst movie ever made ever is the stacey keach movie "future fear"

post apocalyptic, an attempt to warn against faascism and spark debate on abortion, badly produced badly acted badly.... just bad

the only way i was able to watch this was a friend of mine kept saying "you aint got the nut"

The Fountain. It sucked. I left halfway through to watch the second half of Borat.

Anything written by Michel Gondry, that "quirky" (a phrase which movie reviewers apparently believe is synonymous "stupid" and "sickening") man-child from France.
Fuck him and The Science of Sleep and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

An honorable mention goes to Penny Dreadful (of 2006), which, while no more terrible than any other low-budget American-made slasher, still earns my ire for promising me cannibalism in the advertisement and then not paying up.
Do you hear me, Richard Brandes? I demand to see Mimi Rogers getting eaten alive by deranged mountain men.

I demand to see Mimi Rogers getting eaten alive by deranged mountain men.

That is being planned now and it goes live.

[QUOTE=H N Fiddlebottoms VIII;12004469]Anything written by Michel Gondry, that "quirky" (a phrase which movie reviewers apparently believe is synonymous "stupid" and "sickening") man-child from France.
Fuck him and The Science of Sleep and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.QUOTE]

Eternal Sunshine is a great film.

Anger Management pissed me off. Not that its all that bad, but it got so much more attention than Punch Drunk Love which is so much better.

this
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060666/

Just saw the new James Bond. Not the worst ever---But save your money.

It's a toss-up between these two...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286716/

Such great actors...and one of the best comic-book heroes of all time, and they come up with this snore-fest of a flick. I literally was forcing myself to stay awake, waiting for something, ANYTHING interesting to happen.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0381707/

I haven't seen it...and I never will. It just goes here based on the Wayans Brothers Principle that nothing they make will ever be good...ever.

The Polar Bear King, so horrid.
Imagine The typical Kiss a frog and he is actually a Prince with a whole bunch of crap, i don't know what happned because it was so bad.

I graduated film school. Which means that I've seen a lot of student films. Which means I've seen bad on such a colosall level it would make your eyes bleed. Sadly, that includes projects I've been involved in, too. At least we had the good sense to not subject more than those involved to our folly...(Hear that, Dr. Boll?)

Aaaannnyway...Shark Attack III I think is the worst thing I've seen in recent memory that didn't involve a student screening.

Alright, lynching time.

The WORST movie I have ever seen, which wasn't even enjoyable at all because it was freaking bad(The really bad movies at least have the saving grace of being able to laugh at them, because they are seriously attempting at a movie) was Kill Bill. I can't stand to watch it, I can't stand to see it. It is, quite possibly, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is a terrible in a realm of it's own.

Alright, lynching time.

The WORST movie I have ever seen, which wasn't even enjoyable at all because it was freaking bad(The really bad movies at least have the saving grace of being able to laugh at them, because they are seriously attempting at a movie) was Kill Bill. I can't stand to watch it, I can't stand to see it. It is, quite possibly, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is a terrible in a realm of it's own.

Odd...I'm no Tarantino freak, but I thought it was a very good blend of Spaghetti Western and Asian (mostly Chinese Kung-Fu, but also Japanese Anime) film influences. The action wasn't bad...the plot was simple and straightfoward...plus Michael Madsen is freaking awesome in that film.

*lynches*

:p

Odd...I'm no Tarantino freak, but I thought it was a very good blend of Spaghetti Western and Asian (mostly Chinese Kung-Fu, but also Japanese Anime) film influences. The action wasn't bad...the plot was simple and straightfoward...plus Michael Madsen is freaking awesome in that film.

*lynches*

:p

Firstly, I'm talking about Vol. 1. Vol. 2 was actually pretty decent.

To call it a "Blend of Spaghetti Western and Asian" is to insult Spaghetti Westerns, Asians, Asian Culture, Spaghetti, Italians, and the entire Southwest, all in one go. The fighting was boring, uninteresting, uninspired, all of the scenes are pretty much the same, it has virtually no plot, it is predictable, and I adhore the spraying blood, which looked absolutely horrendous. There was only a single part in Vol. 1 which I liked, and that was the animated scene, as that had something resembling a story behind it. The rest was just a poor excuse for poor fighting choreography, poor acting, poor writing, and a bland sequence of events.

Vol. 2 was rather enjoyale, though. I particularily liked the Pai Mei character, and the entire 1960's Hong-Kongish Kung-Fu movie style scene.

Renaldo and Clara (1978)
Bob Dylan as Renaldo
Joan Baez as Woman in White

The best part is when Dylan trades Baez for a horse

http://imdb.com/title/tt0078151/

According to IMDB "If you like this title, we also recommend
Forrest Gump (1994)"
WHAT!

Worst FOUR hours in a theater ever

These are some of the worst movies that I have found on my "Worst Horror Movie Ever" quest.

1.Robot Monster.
2.Monster A-Go-Go.
3. King of the Zombies.
4. Manos: the Hands of Fate.
5. Color Me Blood Red.
6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
7. Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter.
8. Giant From the Unknown.
9. The Curious Dr. Humpp.
10. The Mighty Gorga.

Wich one is the worst?

One of the first two.

But remember this:

I'd sooner sit through "Manos" again than those two.

These are some of the worst movies that I have found on my "Worst Horror Movie Ever" quest.

1.Robot Monster.
2.Monster A-Go-Go.
3. King of the Zombies.
4. Manos: the Hands of Fate.
5. Color Me Blood Red.
6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
7. Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter.
8. Giant From the Unknown.
9. The Curious Dr. Humpp.
10. The Mighty Gorga.

Wich one is the worst?

One of the first two.

But remember this:

I'd sooner sit through "Manos" again than those two.

I can't believe 'Day of The Triffids' didn't make the list. :p

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100116/

Martians go home is probably the worst movie ever for me. It is one of the few movies that was so bad I couldn't even finish it. I think it took me all of 10 minutes.

Land of The Dead, Surf Ninjas, and Gone in 60 Seconds (original 1974) get notable mention for crappiness. Gone in 60 Seconds atleast had redeeming quality in the car chases, but that's ALL it had going for it.

I can't believe 'Day of The Triffids' didn't make the list. :p

Guess what movie Netflix is going to bring me next?

It seems we shall see how awful this is.

It was going to be "KISS meets the Phantom of the Park" but its not available on DVD yet.

Yes, folks, the band KISS made a movie......

Firstly, I'm talking about Vol. 1. Vol. 2 was actually pretty decent.

Oh...I was talking of both at once. Didn't realize we were getting specific.

The fighting was boring, uninteresting, uninspired.

So, what, in your mind, is an example of interesting, inspired fighting in film?

I'm not saying Kill Bill 1 was original, far from it...but the action was hardly boring or uninteresting.

All of the scenes are pretty much the same

I fail to see how the scene in the bar in Okinawa is in any way the same as the fight that opens the film...or the escape from the hospital is the same as the final fight with the Japanese gang, but whatever.

it has virtually no plot, it is predictable

That's because the whole of V.1 is a setup for V.2...of course it's predictable.

and I adhore the spraying blood, which looked absolutely horrendous.

I thought it looked horrendous as well, but it made me laugh. :p

The rest was just a poor excuse for poor fighting choreography, poor acting, poor writing, and a bland sequence of events.

That might hold true if the movie wasn't trying to emulate the styles I mentioned previously...

...when's the last time you saw a budget Western or a 70's Kung-fu flick with great acting and writing?

Besides, you at least have to agree that the soundtrack was good. :)

Vol. 2 was rather enjoyale, though. I particularily liked the Pai Mei character, and the entire 1960's Hong-Kongish Kung-Fu movie style scene.

I'm partial to the burial sequence myself, although Pai Mei does rule. :D

These are some of the worst movies that I have found on my "Worst Horror Movie Ever" quest.

1.Robot Monster.
2.Monster A-Go-Go.
3. King of the Zombies.
4. Manos: the Hands of Fate.
5. Color Me Blood Red.
6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
7. Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter.
8. Giant From the Unknown.
9. The Curious Dr. Humpp.
10. The Mighty Gorga.

If you haven't already, I advise you to find yourself a copy of "Barn of the Blood Llama"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162876/

Plot Summary: Inbred hillbillies trap various passersby at their World o Wool llama farm where an animal coroner is conducting genetic experiments which turn the animals into sex-starved toxic beasts. A new look at bad animal husbandry.

How can you lose?!?! :D

If you haven't already, I advise you to find yourself a copy of "Barn of the Blood Llama"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162876/



How can you lose?!?! :D

I have heard of this one, (possibly even from you). however, Netflix doesnt carry it, and I havent been able to find a copy.

So, Backwoods, have you forgiven me yet for recomending 'Robot Monster' to you?

I have no trouble with B-movies being bad. They're supposed to be bad and its usually entertaining to see how bad they are.

For me, war of the worlds by Spielberg was the worst movie I saw in a while. There was no soul in that one, with cruise just mindlessly running around, the aliens barely showing any intelligence other then 'lets shoot stuff' and the battle and action scenes being unforgiveably low budget. The characters were stupid and the ending utterly retarded.

Worst movie ever....

Alright, lynching time.

The WORST movie I have ever seen, which wasn't even enjoyable at all because it was freaking bad(The really bad movies at least have the saving grace of being able to laugh at them, because they are seriously attempting at a movie) was Kill Bill. I can't stand to watch it, I can't stand to see it. It is, quite possibly, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is a terrible in a realm of it's own.

I too hated Kill Bill. I can't understand why so many people loved it. I've got a feeling that they're just into it because it's a Tarantino joint.

I too hated Kill Bill. I can't understand why so many people loved it. I've got a feeling that they're just into it because it's a Tarantino joint.

I found it amusing that The Bride was so ridiculously unkillable. And when she killed O-Ren was pretty funny too(The Bride cut off the top of her skull and sent it flying, but for some reason her brain was still in place and evidently undamaged.

uhh,

Pretty much anything on the Hallmark Channel

I too hated Kill Bill. I can't understand why so many people loved it. I've got a feeling that they're just into it because it's a Tarantino joint.

Agreed

These are some of the worst movies that I have found on my "Worst Horror Movie Ever" quest.

1.Robot Monster.
2.Monster A-Go-Go.
3. King of the Zombies.
4. Manos: the Hands of Fate.
5. Color Me Blood Red.
6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
7. Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter.
8. Giant From the Unknown.
9. The Curious Dr. Humpp.
10. The Mighty Gorga.

Wich one is the worst?

One of the first two.

But remember this:

I'd sooner sit through "Manos" again than those two.

I can't believe you missed:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Frost_%281996_film%29

It varies between so bad it's funny to so bad it's horrifying. Guess that's how they can get by with calling it a comedy/horror.

I can't believe you missed:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Frost_%281996_film%29

It varies between so bad it's funny to so bad it's horrifying. Guess that's how they can get by with calling it a comedy/horror.

Seen it.

There were parts of it that were actually mildly amusing.

That automatically makes it better than any of the ABOMINATIONS OF FILM that I have previously mentioned.

So, Backwoods, have you forgiven me yet for recomending 'Robot Monster' to you?

.....shudder....



You bastard!

You....evil....bastard!

I may NEVER forgive you.

But..in some sick, demented way........






























....Thanks! :)

Double Dragon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106761/)

Oh...I was talking of both at once. Didn't realize we were getting specific.

Yeah, should have specifiied.


So, what, in your mind, is an example of interesting, inspired fighting in film?

This:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299977/


I'm not saying Kill Bill 1 was original, far from it...but the action was hardly boring or uninteresting.

The fighting was stiff, rigid, not very well done, and simply wholy unrealistic(In the sense that it rather poorly emulates actual fighting).


I fail to see how the scene in the bar in Okinawa is in any way the same as the fight that opens the film...or the escape from the hospital is the same as the final fight with the Japanese gang, but whatever.


The action in the movie can be decribed as: Dance around each other for a while, cut other person's head off, spray with blood. Wash, rinse, repeat. The movie's only reason was basically to have as much idiotic spraying blood as humanly possible.


That's because the whole of V.1 is a setup for V.2...of course it's predictable.

And it did it rather poorly. It really didn't set much of anything up, at all. The second one was far better than the first, explained so much more, and really didn't need the first one as an explanation of what is going on(As it is pretty much explained fully in Vol. 2).


I thought it looked horrendous as well, but it made me laugh. :p

The first time I laughed. Then the novelty wore off, and it just seemed rather idiotic afterwards.


That might hold true if the movie wasn't trying to emulate the styles I mentioned previously...

Yes, but it did a horrific job at doing so.


...when's the last time you saw a budget Western or a 70's Kung-fu flick with great acting and writing?

The difference is that nobody claims those are really that great. However, some of the spaghetti Westerns were quite amusing to watch. And 70's Kung-Fu are so rediculous that they are actually amusing to watch. Kill bill tries to be a "serious" Kung-Fu of that type, and fails miserably.


Besides, you at least have to agree that the soundtrack was good. :)

Alright, I'll take that much at least.


I'm partial to the burial sequence myself, although Pai Mei does rule. :D

Yeah, that is a good scene. The main reason I like the Pai Mei scene is because Tarantino decided to go with the 70's Kung-Fu style of filming, with the crazy zooming in at certain parts, and even the quality of the film during this scene is simlar to that used in the movies of that time. Probably one of the most well thought out scenes of the movie.

Double Dragon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106761/)

Oh crap, that made me remember the Streetfighter movie...that's just sick...I hope you're proud of yourself.

I too hated Kill Bill. I can't understand why so many people loved it. I've got a feeling that they're just into it because it's a Tarantino joint.

I am in League with the admirable Drunk commies deleted... I'm not sure how to feel about this.

It is good to know that there are others whom detest this horrible excuse for a movie.

Oh crap, that made me remember the Streetfighter movie...that's just sick...I hope you're proud of yourself.

You mean this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5zmOZPgEyA

:D

i'll add my +1 to the kill bill haters. just didn't get why people thought it was so good. as far as i'm concerned it was a pretentious yet average gangster/crime flick. in fat it was pretentious above everything else, so pretnetious, urgh.

You mean this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5zmOZPgEyA

:D
That was just fantastic.

That was just fantastic.

Those three minutes are better than the entire 90 minutes of the actual movie, eh?

Naive fools.

Troll 2 is the worst movie of all time.

Im Disappointed that no one has brought up Plan 9 From Outer Space, directed by Ed Wood, which was actually voted the worst film of all time. Its so bad its fascinating.
also, the little known Star Wars Christmas Special. This was aired on television shortly after the release of the 1st Star Wars Movie, and it was so bad that George Lucas destroyed every copy he could get his hands on. Unfortunately for him and all of us, the internet has made it available to us all!

I actually saw "Plan 9 from Outer Space"

The Dracula character--I couldn't stop laughing!

Pink Flamingos. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_Flamingos) By FAR. The lead actor/actress eats a real dog shit in the finale, it features a gesticulating anus that sings along to a musical beat, a live chicken being killed by being crushed between two people having sex, a man flashing himself to a woman with a giant German sausage tied to his cock and loads of other highly fucked up stuff.

That's not the reason I nominate it though. The acting was so bad I killed an entire Eastern European nation to make it stop.

I heard about that one. You actually watched it!? :eek:

I realise it's dredging up the start of the topic again, but as someone who watches two or three films a day, and usually a couple a week at the cinema, "The Life Aquatic" is the only flick that's made me leave a cinema feeling genuinely angry. And I'm a pretty calm guy by nature- I was just absolutely livid that I'd paid to see that tripe. Of course, coming online to find people even trying to defend it did little to help my mood when reviewing it (http://lawlore.com/filmaqua.htm). But it's getting me angry again now, just thinking about it, so I'll stop.

"The Siege" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133952/ ) was pretty poor by that genre's standards, but harmless.

Recently there was a made-for-TV film, Strip Search ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0376215/ ) which had a novel way of getting it's message across by repeating dialogue. If it had run for half an hour, it would've been quite poignant, quite a nice experiment, quite novel. But by the end of the running time... man, it was like a jackhammer drilling the message into your skull relentlessly.

Also not seen "You Got Served" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365957/ ) get any love in this thread yet, so I'll throw that out there.

I actually saw "Plan 9 from Outer Space"

The Dracula character--I couldn't stop laughing!

Why? What was it like?


I heard that movie had a ton of mistakes, props falling over, missed lines, etc.

Luckily whenever I have to watch an awful movie, my mind will slip into semiconsciousness thus ensuring that I won't remember what I just saw.

I'd say Mission impossible 3 or the Grinch That Stole Christmas that came out a few years ago.

You people really don't know what stinks! Well some of you do. ;)

Now I have to bring out the ace!

The Day the Clown Cried

Jerry Lewis plays a a german clown in a Auschwitz who leads Jewish children to the gas chambers like the Pied Piper.

It was SOOO BAD that all rough drafts were destroyed. Only Lewis has a copy and he has mentioned he would like to complete the movie!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Clown_Cried

Im Disappointed that no one has brought up Plan 9 From Outer Space, directed by Ed Wood, which was actually voted the worst film of all time. Its so bad its fascinating.
also, the little known Star Wars Christmas Special. This was aired on television shortly after the release of the 1st Star Wars Movie, and it was so bad that George Lucas destroyed every copy he could get his hands on. Unfortunately for him and all of us, the internet has made it available to us all!

Actually, I'm pretty sure most people on the net have heard of it.

"October" and "Battleship Potemkin" by Sergei Eisenstein. No sound, no comprehensible story and nearly pure suck. My World Cinema prof spent three weeks cooing over this bizarro pieces of Soviet filmmaking. I slept in for the last two weeks of the experience.

Only in "Battleship Potemkin" did anything awesome happen: Specifically, Cossacks going on a rampage and killing random people.

Star Wars Xmas Special doesn't really count as a movie.
Though it is totally unwatchable. I d/l'ed last year and managed to sit through only 10 minutes before I started shaking with convulsions, Most disturbingly, said convulsions were from laughter AND nausea combined.

This movie deserves a mention:
http://www.videosift.com/story.php?id=846

"Cui hua kuang mo" (Undefeatable)
http://akas.imdb.com/title/tt0111552/
Don't be fooled by the relatively respectable 3.6/10 average rating. Here's what someone who gave it a '10' had to say:
Possibly the best creation in human history.
When I first saw this movie, I soiled myself. Not only does it feature my favorite actor Don Niam, it also has my second favorite actor Todd Weinguard as Maniac Gang member #4. This movie contains Don Niam's hair which is probably the most significant thing to ever happen to theater. Ever. It should be required by law that everyone must watch this movie. I will definitely name my first,second, and fourth child Stingray. My third child will be named anus for obvious reasons. Anyways, I highly recommend this movie. If you want to cry, laugh, defecate on yourself, and become erect at the same time, see this movie. Please make a sequel Mr. Ho.