NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, so in the interest of keeping NSG completely insane, vote for who would win in a battle!

Okay, so in the interest of keeping NSG completely insane, vote for who would win in a battle!

I vote Zeus/Jupiter. He's the god of gods and heaven. *nod*

How about editing that first post and letting us know what the hell you're talking about?

Buddha he can just sit on every one. :D

How about editing that first post and letting us know what the hell you're talking about?

I expect hes in the process of making a poll. *shrugs*

And lo, the poll was there.

And lo, he added zeus.

How about editing that first post and letting us know what the hell you're talking about?

I don't know how you do that, but it's friggin' awesome.

And lo, the poll was there.

And lo, he added zeus.

This is my new favourite thread! :D

And lo, he said "Dammit! I can't edit the poll!"

And lo, he threatened things that make the director of Hostel cringe.

Alien Jesus

Laser Beams and the power to turn water to wine...

I voted for Alien Jesus, since he has the most Godly power. Or is his powers limited in this fight?

Well, alien jesus tends to use his stinger and claws instead of godlike power. He can also throw his halo like Xena.

Vampire buddha bites and uses his nagas.

Succubus Eris...let's not go there.

Werewolf Mohommad bites and claws.

Zombie Moses bites people and uses a two-by-four with a nail in it.

Mutant Shiva just rips people apart.

Since when have Werewolves, aliens, mutants, and sucubii been "Undead"???

When they die, and rise again.

In the absense of a Thor Gholam, the Vampire Buddha takes the day.

Succubus Eris...let's not go there.


Mwah. That's my vote.

Ermm... Not claiming I'm Hindu and all, but the main god in Hinduism is Vishnu.

Buddha he can just sit on every one. :D
Only if you believe that the buddha is like the idols that are of him.

Ermm... Not claiming I'm Hindu and all, but the main god in Hinduism is Vishnu.

Shiva is the god of destruction, much better for fighting.

Whats vishnu gonna do? Preserve them to death?

living Darth Swil.

Buddha just meditates and everyone is pwn'd.

Buddha just meditates and everyone is pwn'd.

LOL!

Pytor - What is Vishnu going to do? Nothing.

Mutant Shiva, obviously. You just can't beat a guy with six arms (and maybe more due to mutation).

I always thought it was zombie Jesus, as in "Sweet zombie Jesus!" :confused:
Jesus, because he presumably has a spaceship.

What's wrong with you people? No votes for Zombie Moses? Zombie Moses could beat all five of the others even if they teamed up against him.

Shiva is the god of destruction, much better for fighting.

Whats vishnu gonna do? Preserve them to death?

I am become Mutant Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds!

What's wrong with you people? No votes for Zombie Moses? Zombie Moses could beat all five of the others even if they teamed up against him.

He'd be too busy eating brains.

Alien Jesus, of course. If he's killed, he gets to come back to life.

St Jello Biafra;11977013']Alien Jesus, of course. If he's killed, he gets to come back to life.

In 3 days.

In 3 days.

Good point. How long is this fight lasting? Are long time-outs acceptable?

Okay, so in the interest of keeping NSG completely insane, vote for who would win in a battle!

What? Where the Hel is Odin? No mythological grudge match is complete without the hard bastard who ripped his own eye out.

Thor arrives and ruins everybodies shit.

What, no Frankenstein's-Monster-Crowley-Fueled-By-Mescaline-And-Viagra? What kind of a crappy contest is this!?

Zombie Moses bites people and uses a two-by-four with a nail in it.

A board with a nail in it always wins.

Always.

A board with a nail in it always wins.

Always.

You're wrong. It loses against a board with two nails in it always wins.

You're wrong. It loses against a board with two nails in it always wins.

Stupid n00bs, everyone loses when someone is wielding the sacred board of 3 nails.

You're wrong. It loses against a board with two nails in it always wins.

Stupid n00bs, everyone loses when someone is wielding the sacred board of 3 nails.

You fools. By creating 3 points of contact instead of one you are distributing the force of the blow and making it less powerful! For a metaphor: Would you rather be stepped on by a bare-foot elephant or an elephant wearing stiletto heels?

You fools. By creating 3 points of contact instead of one you are distributing the force of the blow and making it less powerful! For a metaphor: Would you rather be stepped on by a bare-foot elephant or an elephant wearing stiletto heels?

So the mythical board of one huge nail pwns all?

And don't be kinky you might give people ideas :p

So the mythical board of one huge nail pwns all?
Board+railroad spike=pwn

Aliens are not undead, so werewolf muhammad ftw.

Aliens are not undead, so werewolf muhammad ftw.

LOL @ your sig. I must mention it again (for I know I've mentioned it before).

Chaos wins! Or does it?

All hail Eris!

Only if you believe that the buddha is like the idols that are of him.


Ask a Buddhist. :D
There's a two part explanation. One, the "fat Buddha" is not the historical Buddha, but a Chinese god co-opted by Buddhism. Two, the big belly represents the fullness of life, wisdom, joy, etc. Note, the "fat Buddha" is also the joyful laughing Buddha.

The "fat buddha" is Hotei, and he is considered a buddha to the chinese. In China, Hotei is the god of good fortune and the guardian of children. His overly round shape indicates abundance of inner wealth and a joy-filled soul. In fact, he was a real person- Ch'i tz'u, a 10th century Zen monk who wandered throughout China giving generously from his never empty sack. Only at the time of his death did he reveal his true identity as the incarnation of Maitreya, the Buddha of the Future. That is the story as I know it. No, he is not THE Buddha as believed by most westerns, thus the "why do you worship a fat guy?" comments we receive. The real Buddha, especially around the time he became enlightened, was VERY thin. Total opposite. Hotei has become a cultural icon, and has lost alot of his true identity because of this. But Hotei is very much connected to Buddhism.

The Buddhist Monastery is esteemed as a sacred and solemn place. Yet one may often find the images of Maitreya Buddha-stomach laid bare sitting cross-legged, corpulent in the waist, and laughing with mouth open. His countenance is kind and mild, and everyone who sees it cannot help bursting into laughter.
Maitreya was born into a Brahman family in Southern India. His family name was Maitreya
and his given name was Ajita. He had propagated the Dharma under the guide of Sakyamuni Buddha. After much religious mortification and austerity, he eventually achieved his goal of Buddhahood.
According to the Buddhist scriptures, Maitreya is only second to Sakyamuni Tathagata in seniority and is the fifth of the 1000 Buddhas in the present kalpa.
He was born in 500 BC and assisted Sakyamuni Buddha in spreading the Dharma. After staying in the Tushita heaven for 4000 Buddhist years (5.67 billion years), when his experiences of causality were exhausted, he was liberated from the "Threefold World", and attained enlightenment while sitting beneath the Long Hua tree.
In archaic Indian language, Maitreya means "The Compassionate One", and Adjita means "Invincible to All" or "Leading in Constant Victory". It is said that his most well-known Dharma is the "Insight of Tender Heart". He was always seen smiling ear to ear when preaching the Dharma, thus winning the hearts of his audience. Devotees also call him the "Future Buddha".
The smile of Maitreya Buddha is believed to be the most mysterious. When viewed from different angles at the same place and time, the facial expression could be perceived differently according to the mood of the worshipper. It may appear to smile, to chuckle, to chortle, to sneer, to snigger or even to smirk!
Many temples today enshrine the statue of Maitreya Buddha, flanked by a couplet which reads:"His belly so huge so as to accommodate everything unbearable;His mouth so wide-open so as to laugh at everything ridiculous.
His proper Chinese name is Mi Le Fo, which means the same as Maitreya.
During the Liang Dynasty of the 5 Dynasties period, there arose a eminent monk, a Monk with a Cloth Bag at Fenghua in Mingzhou (now in Zhejiang). With a forehead full of wrinkles and a big belly, he was always contented with whatever situation he was put in even if it meant having no permanent place to sleep or dwell. He often carried a bag and mat with him.
Wandering around for alms with a stick in his hand, he could be heard reciting a verse he composed:
With a bowl for a meal in thousands
of household, I travel thousands of
miles alone.
Seeing a few people who eye me in
sympathy;
I ask the white clouds for the way.

During the winter, he slept in a heap of snow but the snow never moistened his body. Moreover he could foresee disaster or fortune. He could predict the weather. If he went to sleep on a bridge or on the street, one could expecr good weather. On the other hand, if he wore sandals and looked for shelter, one could on rain.
No one knew his background, neither did any one know his name or hometown. However he called himself Qi Ci, and was nicked named Chang DingZi. People noticed that no matter where he went he always carried a bag with him. So they called him the Monk with a Cloth Bag.
The Monk with a Cloth Bag never gave a thought to his appearance. However, he knew the proper time to chortle or laugh, to be angry or chide, to be humorous or stern. He always spoke wittily.
http://www.buddhasvillage.com/BuddhasVillage/bvforum/messages/1269.html

(In the grand tradition, somebody had to take this thing way too seriously...)

WWAJD?

Alien Jesus was all about love thy neighbor so I don't think he'd even get involved in a battle, probably just smoke some outerspace chroninc with his homies and kick back.

Werewolf Muhammad would only be truly effective around every 29 days, so no.

Vampire Buddha is a somewhat intimidating thought -oversized vampire, yikes! Until I got thinking that all he would do is overcome his vampire thirst by meditation.

Mutant Shiva sounds pretty intimidating, destructive tendencies and all, eventually I picked her.

Zombie Moses? Nah.

Succubus Eris... hehe. Yeah well, I figured she'd give Mutant Shiva a run for the money by sheer count of followers, but not enough to make a difference in the end.

So the mythical board of one huge nail pwns all?

Exactly, which is why the obvious winner is Zombie Moses.

This isn't really fair to Shiva. All the others get something new...Shiva is already a mutant, as seen here
http://www.pitt.edu/AFShome/s/o/sorc/public/html/hindu/Index%5CReligion%5Cshiva.jpe

Mutant Shiva: with that many arms, he gets about 100 attacks per round.

whoops: I forgot Vecna, the Demigod-Lich.

Succubis Eris. All others are mystified by her beauty and sexuality. The battle turns into an orgy, so it ends up that everyone wins!

i voted for the werewolf. no one would no what he would look like, cause you couldnt take a picture of him and show people or there would be riots!

Eris=win.

On a totally unrelated note Ifreann is ranked 1st in the region and 8,794th in the world for Nudest.

Mohammed. For the simple reason that of all of the options, he is the only one with military experience. Mohammed is, in my opinion, one of the Great Military Commanders of History.

Moses: He was perhaps the wisest man of all, but he was no soldier. All he did was perform miracles on G-d's behalf. A Zombie Moses would be useless.

Buddha: Pacifist

Jesus: Pacifist

Shiva: God of destruction, but Mohammed gets +a lot against pagan gods. Besides, Mohammed has an ARMY at his command.

Eris: ???

The blood sucking fat boy!

Chuck Norris....nuff said...

Chuck Norris....nuff said...

No, way to much said.

Alien Jesus cos he had the best hair cut, then mutant shiva.

Budda just divinely contemplates being the only survivng deity as the rest have killed themselves by accidentally swallowing Polonium-210, thinking it was a breath sweet


customary first post smilies

:upyours: :sniper: :mad: :headbang: :mp5: :gundge:

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:D

Alien Jesus is finally losing.

Course this is a moot thread since Zombie Hitler is clearly the dominant rosen dead

How could Buddha be a vampire, he's a vegetarian?

How could Buddha be a vampire, he's a vegetarian?

Easily. The historical Buddha wasn't a vegetarian.

The Nipata Sutta underlines this point when it says that it is immorality that makes one impure (morally and spiritually), not the eating of meat. The Buddha is often described as eating meat, he recommended meat broth as a cure for certain types of illness and advised monks for practical reasons, to avoid certain types of meat, implying that other types were quite acceptable.
http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/dharmadata/fdd21.htm

Mutant Shiva. Six sets of knuckles beats two.

Mutant Shiva pulls ahead.

Isn't mutant Shiva a little redundant? She does have like 4 arms, right?

Unnameability2 ducks.

Werewolf had me for a second, then I saw Succubus Eris.

Zombie Moses in the Holy Merkava Mark Infinity of Jerusalem!

Die, infidels! Flee before the wrath of Gawd! And if anyone disagrees, the JADL will brand them as anti-semitists and make them an object of ridicule!

Bah, the Mexican alien wins.

Bah, the Mexican alien wins.

On behalf of the JADL:

CRAZED ANTI-SEMITIST!!!!!