NationStates Jolt Archive

...the sandwich (http://www.guardian.co.uk/food/Story/0,,1952283,00.html)

Yes, that's right. They want to patent the "pre-assembly of sandwich components and simultaneous preparation of different parts of the same sandwich".

So if you want to make a toasted bacon sandwich, McDonald's will be suing you faster than you can say "Where's the brown sauce?" Well, probably not, but it's an amusing idea nonetheless.

But is McDonald's just being a little bit stupid here, or do they actually have a valid reason for filing this patent?

Absolutely ridiculous. If they somehow get the patent, I'll be the first one opening a fucking sandwich stand right in front of McDonald's, complete with a massive "FUCK YOU" banner.

If all they're doing is patenting the machine they use, that's one thing. But you can't patent the idea of a sandwich.

I see this as a good thing. Imagine the harm that would come from people trying to recreate McDonald's food at home, without the protection of their rigorous health and safety standards! *shudder*

If all they're doing is patenting the machine they use, that's one thing. But you can't patent the idea of a sandwich.
From what the article says, it seems they are trying to patent the idea of the sandwich. The tool thing sounds interesting, and if they tried to get that patented I imagine they'd probably be successful. And then they'd probably make them by the million and flog them to middle-class, middle-aged people who have entire kitchens full of useless crap.

If all they're doing is patenting the machine they use, that's one thing. But you can't patent the idea of a sandwich.

Yeah because if I recall it has already been patented or at least tried to have been.

No, the concept of a sandwich is impossible to patent, but individual recipes can and have been. I present:

The Peanut Butter & Jelly Trademarked Bread Product (http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PALL&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.htm&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=6,004,596.PN.&OS=PN/6,004,596&RS=PN/6,004,596)

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

It should be illegal for them to do this, because they're trying to eliminate all competition.

They'd have a monopoly on fast food.

I know for sure that they won't succeed in europe as it has to be novel, their deice description and the use of it maybe, but the sandwich itself will not qualify because it is already in the public domain.

This is the same logic as someone in Japan trying to patent the concept of curry (which has been tried).

I don't know about the US, over there you seem to be able to patent everything, but that is the impression I get from the news over here.

Wait a minute...don't you actually have to develop something to patent it? Are they saying that McDonald's was around and inspired the fucking Earl of Sandwich? I can understand the judge's ruling about the sandwich /= burrito deal. Anyone who would approve a patent for McDonald's for the sandwich is out of their fucking mind. That's like Al Gore asking for a patent for the internet.

This is a perfect example, however, of why the concept of intellectual property is confused, to say the least.

*files a patent on the burrito*

Two can play this game! :)

*files a patent on the burrito*

Two can play this game! :)

Oi, first them and now you. There won't be anything left for the rest of us :D

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130

Microsoft is way ahead of ya'll.

Fine. I'm filing a patent on oxygen, water, and the English language. Suck on that.

*files a patent on the burrito*

Two can play this game! :)

Imma patent the idea of patenting stuff! A-HA!

Now would be a good time to patent the fast food restaurant.

Imma patent the idea of patenting stuff! A-HA!

You're speaking English. Pay up.

Now would be a good time to patent the fast food restaurant.

Damn, I wanted to do that!

You're speaking English. Pay up.

Barely. I'll only pay if you pay for using my idea of filing your patent in the first place.

Barely. I'll only pay if you pay for using my idea of filing your patent in the first place.

Very well. We shall exchange equal amounts of money for each of your infractions.

Damn, I wanted to do that!

Mwahahaha, now McDonalds shall make ME money!

Though I might let other Fast Food places off the hook cos thy aren't as evil. In exchange for free meals there.

Lame.
McDonald's just keeps goin downhill.

I listened to a PopSci podcast that mentioned this company that makes vitamins and dietary supplements. They had patented the connection that can be made by attributing an excess of a certain amino acid in one's body to a deficiency of a certain vitamin. That is to say, if your doctor detected that you had too much of that amino acid, s(he) could be sued for even suggesting that it had anything to do with a deficiency of the certain vitamin if royalties weren't paid.

You're speaking English. Pay up.

I think you'll find he/she is typing in English. [/win]

...the sandwich (http://www.guardian.co.uk/food/Story/0,,1952283,00.html)

Yes, that's right. They want to patent the "pre-assembly of sandwich components and simultaneous preparation of different parts of the same sandwich".

So if you want to make a toasted bacon sandwich, McDonald's will be suing you faster than you can say "Where's the brown sauce?" Well, probably not, but it's an amusing idea nonetheless.

But is McDonald's just being a little bit stupid here, or do they actually have a valid reason for filing this patent?
From the little I understand about patents, it's too late. The practice is too widespread to be a patentable process. If they managed to develop a new variation on sandwiches, then they might have a patentable idea, but not this.

If all they're doing is patenting the machine they use, that's one thing. But you can't patent the idea of a sandwich.

The Earl of Sandwich might have been able, but it can't be done today.

I claim the patent on typing/writing English!

This is actually a trend in the patent business, to try and patent common procedures. I work in the industrial lighting industry and we're seeing it a lot in things like methods of taking various readings.

I patent breathing! No, wait. Someone's got oxygen, supply issues there... umm... logical thought! Yeah, I patent logical thought! Everyody will pay to use that...

So what if they patent the sandwiche-building material? Thats not gunna stop me from making my own sandwiche at home in the same style that McDonald's does it, not that I want to anyway.

So if everyone copies their style of sandwiche making, McDonald's is gunna sue them all? Like... friggen hell. They're already rich enough.

I patent breathing! No, wait. Someone's got oxygen, supply issues there... umm... logical thought! Yeah, I patent logical thought! Everyody will pay to use that...

You're not going to make much. :p

...the sandwich (http://www.guardian.co.uk/food/Story/0,,1952283,00.html)

Yes, that's right. They want to patent the "pre-assembly of sandwich components and simultaneous preparation of different parts of the same sandwich".

So if you want to make a toasted bacon sandwich, McDonald's will be suing you faster than you can say "Where's the brown sauce?" Well, probably not, but it's an amusing idea nonetheless.

But is McDonald's just being a little bit stupid here, or do they actually have a valid reason for filing this patent?

So, goodbye to Lord Sandwich or whoever he was...
Damn McDonald's. Bunch of idiots if you ask me.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130

Microsoft is way ahead of ya'll.

You scared me then, but then I realised it was the onion.

I hereby patent the FIRE, as I am a descendant of the first Homo Erectus who invented that.

I hereby patent BIPEDAL LOCOMOTION, as I am a descendant of the first Australopitecus who began walking on two legs sometimes.

...


wait...

collecting such patents would be more trouble than it is worth... I'd have to waste my life running across the globe to sue everyone walking and lighting a cigarette without paying me the royalties...

what the hell...

I hereby graciously grant everyone free FIRE and BIPEDAL LOCOMOTION. Rejoice all ye people!

You're not going to make much. :p
Certainly not through this forum, anyway.

If anyone thinks all the other fast food places, especially Subway- is going to sit there and let McDonald's suck royalties away from them- you are smoking some strong crack.

Or sucking on a Big Mac.

The Earl of Sandwich might have been able, but it can't be done today.

I wish he had done it, because the patent would have expired and the idea would legally be public domain--assuming it isn't anyway.

I wish he had done it, because the patent would have expired and the idea would legally be public domain--assuming it isn't anyway.

I think McDonald's wants to patent a new process, rather than the sandwich, and that's fine with me. The sandwich is, indeed, off limits because it has been in the public domain for a long time.

How much does i cost to file patents in Europe and the US? I feel like patenting something that McDonald's sell a lot of :)

First off, if McDonald's patents the "sandwich," rest assured that other places will likely start selling "hoagies" or "hamburgers" or "subs" or "gazotzes" in order to get around the royalties.

That said, I patent existence. All of you who exist better pay me.

Does anyone remember when the Australian patent reform went through, and some man declared he was making a statement by patenting the wheel?

i work for the mcdonnalds familly and i think it is a great idea. *mcdonnalds clown cocks gun off camara* and i just want to add how much i love the burgers hmmmm....AHHHH HELP ME PLEA.....*BANG BANG*


i do work for them and this is fucked up.

You're not going to make much. :p
That would be logical thought. ;)
Certainly not through this forum, anyway.
That too. Ch-ching!

Absolutely ridiculous. If they somehow get the patent, I'll be the first one opening a fucking sandwich stand right in front of McDonald's, complete with a massive "FUCK YOU" banner.

And I'll be right there with you, helping you make sandwiches for the three customers we'll have before we're carted away.

The assembly tool contains a "cavity" into which the sandwich-maker places the garnish ("including, but not limited to, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, pickles, chilli, coleslaw, giardinera, peppers, spinach, radishes, olives, egg, cooked bacon and cheese") and the condiments ("ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, sauces, relish, oils, salt, pepper, barbecue sauce, steak sauce, hot sauce, dressings including salad dressings, yogurt, butter, margarine and liquid or semi-liquid cheese").

A "bread component" is then placed over the cavity and the assembly tool "inverted" to tip out the contents. "Typically, a sandwich filling will thereafter be placed in the bread component," the 55-page patent explains. "Often the sandwich filling is the source of the name of the sandwich, for example - ham sandwich."


Somehow, I don't think this is going to legally interfere with anyone slapping together a sandwich.

How much does i cost to file patents in Europe and the US? I feel like patenting something that McDonald's sell a lot of :)

Why don't you try to patent the cooking of potato slices in hot oil?
Or better yet, why not patent the use of Old Bay crab boil for seasoning french fries?

Oh, I've got a good one. I'm gonna patent the right to challenge patents.

Oh, I've got a good one. I'm gonna patent the right to challenge patents.

You still exist. Pay me.

That said, I patent existence. All of you who exist better pay me.
But, I don't really exist; I'm kind of like God, you just have to believe I exist...

The wording sounds to me like you can't put a sandwich together simultaneously, but it's all right to create a sandwich if you put one component between the bread at a time and it's not all set out ready beforehand... :confused:

But, I don't really exist; I'm kind of like God, you just have to believe I exist...

I believe you exist. I also believe that your existence causes you to owe me royalties.

I'm also patenting the use of electricity.

I believe you exist. I also believe that your existence causes you to owe me royalties.

I'm also patenting the use of electricity.

I'm patenting pleasure of all kinds.

I patent Ifreann. Mwahahahahahahaaaa!!!!

I patent Ifreann. Mwahahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Pfft, I patent I V Stalin. We cancel each other out.

Pfft, I patent I V Stalin. We cancel each other out.
Bugger. Should've seen that one coming. You'll probably do better on the royalties for Stalin than I will for Ifreann...

Crap. :(

You still exist. Pay me.

That's logical thought. I take cash, cheque, visa, noodles.

Pfft, I patent I V Stalin. We cancel each other out.

I patent myself! BWAHAHAHAH!!

I believe you exist. I also believe that your existence causes you to owe me royalties.

I'm also patenting the use of electricity.
You can believe all you want, but the atheists have claimed I don't exist and I need proof that exist and the fact that you're hearing voices in your head is not proof of my existance. :p

You can believe all you want, but the atheists have claimed I don't exist and I need proof that exist and the fact that you're hearing voices in your head is not proof of my existance. :p
If you patent yourself, you legally exist, therefore you do exist and IHP can claim royalties from you.

The above may have seemed like logical thought, but in fact it wasn't. It was drunken thought. Which I shall now patent. As well as stoned thought. It also didn't exist, you just believe it exists, which means it does exist, but only in your head - so you'll have to pay the existence royalties.

If you patent yourself, you legally exist, therefore you do exist and IHP can claim royalties from you.

Owned...by proxy. For that, I V Stalin gets four years of amnesty from royalties for existing and is allowed to collect royalties in my name, keeping 25% of them as a surcharge. However, at least 10% of that must be spent on alcoholic beverages; whether you choose to consume them or not is your business.

If you patent yourself, you legally exist, therefore you do exist and IHP can claim royalties from you.

The above may have seemed like logical thought, but in fact it wasn't. It was drunken thought. Which I shall now patent. As well as stoned thought. It also didn't exist, you just believe it exists, which means it does exist, but only in your head - so you'll have to pay the existence royalties.

Fine! Then because I am an atheist, I claim I don't exist because I don't believe I exist!

Fine! Then because I am an atheist, I claim I don't exist because I don't believe I exist!
But if you don't exist then your claim to non-existence becomes void. So you do exist. And the universe will implode.

Owned...by proxy. For that, I V Stalin gets four years of amnesty from royalties for existing and is allowed to collect royalties in my name, keeping 25% of them as a surcharge. However, at least 10% of that must be spent on alcoholic beverages; whether you choose to consume them or not is your business.
Woo! Existence-funded drunkenness, here I come! :D

But if you don't exist then your claim to non-existence becomes void. So you do exist. And the universe will implode.

Exactly. Now let's sit back and watch as the universe imploded.

Fine! Then because I am an atheist, I claim I don't exist because I don't believe I exist!

Congratulations, you're the first non-existent being to post on NS.

Incidentally, I patent non-existence.

Congratulations, you're the first non-existent being to post on NS.

Incidentally, I patent non-existence.

Fine, then I'm intangible, I both exist and not exist, thus, being neither, hence, a null value.

Now, I patent 'null'. Wee! (this is fun!)

Fine, then I'm intangible, I both exist and not exist, thus, being neither, hence, a null value.

Now, I patent 'null'. Wee! (this is fun!)

Well, I patent all other values. Monetary values, numeric values, moral values...hell, hand them over. Everyone who voted against gay marriage now owes me royalties, because I'm patenting ex post facto as well. And if you're up for it, you can collect on my patents in the same manner I V Stalin is and make lots of money off of it.

Well, I patent all other values. Monetary values, numeric values, moral values...hell, hand them over. Everyone who voted against gay marriage now owes me royalties, because I'm patenting ex post facto as well. And if you're up for it, you can collect on my patents in the same manner I V Stalin is and make lots of money off of it.
What haven't you claimed a patent on? *mutters something*

Very well then, I shall!

What haven't you claimed a patent on? *mutters something*

Very well then, I shall!

I patent muttering. Unless you just did. In which case I patent speaking clearly.

I patent muttering. Unless you just did. In which case I patent speaking clearly.
Then in revenge, I patent your right to speak! :p

Then in revenge, I patent your right to speak! :p

*evil*
I patent sex! :p

I patent nudity. I also patent being clothed, and being half naked. I patent as well, the concept of the joyride, cruising, alcoholism, and excessive volume on music devices. I now own 90% of America.

Well, I patent all other values. Monetary values, numeric values, moral values...hell, hand them over. Everyone who voted against gay marriage now owes me royalties, because I'm patenting ex post facto as well. And if you're up for it, you can collect on my patents in the same manner I V Stalin is and make lots of money off of it.
I patent the collection of royalties from patents. :D

*evil*
I patent sex! :p
Fine by me since I don't use that ever!

I also patent your right to STFU, the use of acronyms...

I patent the collection of royalties from patents. :D

I patent the concept of royalties, we are now economically raping each other.

I patent the concept of royalties, we are now economically raping each other.
Meh, I patent the physicality of royalties. You can have the concept as much as you like - but if you actually want to collect any, you're paying me. ;)

I patent the collection of royalities by IV Stalin.

...

I also patent NationStates. :D

I patent the collecting of royalties!

If they can patent the sandwich, I can patent MEAT!

Not that that would effect McDonalds at all, but mneh.

If they can patent the sandwich, I can patent MEAT!

Not that that would effect McDonalds at all, but mneh.

Hmm... I patent TSI!

Hmm... I patent TSI!

But but but...It's not fair! TSI is a real boy!

*grumbles, pays royalites*

But but but...It's not fair! TSI is a real boy!

*grumbles, pays royalites*
yay! *collects her royalties*

And I already patented myself earlier after I V Stalin and Ice Hockey Players patented the other.

I patent the collecting of royalties!

I patent the collection of royalities by IV Stalin.
Ahem. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11979889&postcount=75)

I also patent NationStates. :D
And ahem again. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11979374&postcount=7)

:D

Ahem. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11979889&postcount=75)


And ahem again. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11979374&postcount=7)

:D
...

Damn you.

Fine: I patent Star Trek.

I patent EXISTENCE.

*wins interwebs*

I patent EXISTENCE.

*wins interwebs*
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11974922&postcount=42
And, erm, I'm collecting royalties on his behalf - http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11979718&postcount=62.

So pay up! :D

Absolutely ridiculous. If they somehow get the patent, I'll be the first one opening a fucking sandwich stand right in front of McDonald's, complete with a massive "FUCK YOU" banner.

LMFAO...The first reply always seems to have the best response...again from Potarius?!

ALL HAIL POTARIUS!

My brother told me about this one a few years back. I knew if I looked long enough I could find it.
http://www.mcspotlight.org/media/press/herald_7oct96.html

I patent the following:

Heat (Or lack thereof)
Light (Or lack thereof)
Toes
Ankles
Collecting of All Types (Which means I can choose how much each is worth)

I now make all patent money collecting to everyone but me: 1 to the negitive 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 power. I now make any type of collections by me to be 9999 to the 999999999 power.

I also patent the following

Money
Havvy
Myself
The Word I
The word Me
The Word Yes
The Word No
The Word Ish

I also make collecting for patents, the patent itself instead of money for me. Legally, any patent you make, now belongs to me!

Inserts Evil Laugh Here
Patents Evil Laugh

Isn't the sandwich intellectual property of every retard who's ever made one?

Sounds like they are trying to patent an assembly machine, not a sandwich.

I patent the following:

Collecting of All Types (Which means I can choose how much each is worth)

I also make collecting for patents, the patent itself instead of money for me. Legally, any patent you make, now belongs to me!

You can't patent the collection of money due for patents, as it has already been patented. Thus, your patenting of collection of all types is void, and is struck from the patent register. I hereby patent all types of collection excluding the collection of money due for patents. :D

As your patent for collecting for patents would come under 'Collection of All Types', which is now void, legally, no patents made heretofore belong to you. However, due to your abuse of the system, you have been banned from making any applications for patents for 75 years. This sentence will be suspended should you agree to any future patents you apply for being subject to approval by a board of patent experts - namely myself, Kryozerkia, and Ice Hockey Players.

Isn't the sandwich intellectual property of every retard who's ever made one?
What about the non-retards who have made sandwiches?

Sounds like they are trying to patent an assembly machine, not a sandwich.
It's not so much a machine, more a utensil. Though you should know that we never let semantics get in the way of a good thread here on General.

I patent the following:

Heat (Or lack thereof)
Light (Or lack thereof)
Toes
Ankles
Collecting of All Types (Which means I can choose how much each is worth)

I now make all patent money collecting to everyone but me: 1 to the negitive 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 power. I now make any type of collections by me to be 9999 to the 999999999 power.

I patented values, though, so all those values mean you owe me royalties.

I patent boobs. And sex.

I patent not-sex.

I patent not-sex.

Who the hell ever uses that?

Ooh, I patent masturbating too.

I patent boobs. And sex.
I believe sex was already taken.

I believe sex was already taken.

Damn. Well I patent fluffles.

I patent Protozoa and Photosynthesis

Who the hell ever uses that?

Ooh, I patent masturbating too.

If it's not considered sex, I patent it.

And Rhursbourg will have a lot of fun getting royalties out of plants. BTW, I patent dirt.

I patent any type of weasel, reference to weasel and every weasel that ever existed.

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I patent....the patent. Now all patent holders of anything must pay me! muahahahaha!

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I patent....the patent. Now all patent holders of anything must pay me! muahahahaha!

It's OK; you're still paying me for existing and for using oxygen.

It's OK; you're still paying me for existing and for using oxygen.
And you're still paying me for using NS. And for collecting royalties. And for having royalties. Plus I'm taking a cut of the royalties I collect for you.

I'm doing quite well out of you...

And you're still paying me for using NS. And for collecting royalties. And for having royalties. Plus I'm taking a cut of the royalties I collect for you.

I'm doing quite well out of you...

Very well; I patent doing well. And you're also paying me for the use of the English language. And just to cover all the bases, I patent the Roman alphabet and all characters used in any languages that uses it.

I patent refractory periods.

I also patent the concept of exchanging money.

I patent names. I also patent other forms of identification.

I patent thoughts. Now STOP thinking or i will sue you!

I patent the seperation of oxygen from the air by use of the lungs.

I also patent the use of nerves. If you want to send messages with nerves, you owe me royalties.

I patent the seperation of oxygen from the air by use of the lungs.

I also patent the use of nerves. If you want to send messages with nerves, you owe me royalties.
And if you want to collect those royalties, you owe me royalties! :D

I patent the seperation of oxygen from the air by use of the lungs.

I also patent the use of nerves. If you want to send messages with nerves, you owe me royalties.

And when you pay him, pay me as well, for those nerves' refractory periods.

And if you want to collect those royalties, you owe me royalties! :D

And pay me for exchanging money.