NationStates Jolt Archive

My main yahoo email box has been under seige from spammers for the last few months, but it isn't the usual stuff for viagra or penis enlargements. No, I'm getting internet con emails by the barrel full. Both the African variety..

From The Desk Of Jimmy Gamba (Esq).
The Head Of File Department,
African Development Bank A.D.B
Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso West Africa.
Phone: 00226-7885 75 97.
PLANE CRASH WEB SITE...http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm.

("REMITTANCE OF $15 MILLION U.S.A DOLLARS
CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE")


Compliments Of The Season 2006,

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.I got your contact from the proffesional data base found in the internet Yahoo tourist search.When i was searching for a foreign reliable partner.I assured
of your capability and reliability to champion this businees opportunity.

After series of prayers/fasting.i was divinely directed to contact you among other names found in the data base Yahoo tourist search.I believe that God has a way of helping who is in need.

I am (Jimmy Gamba Esq),the Head of file Department in African developent bank (ADB).

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $ 15 million U.S.A dollars ( fifteen million U.S.A dollars) . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in (Monday 31st July 2000) in a plane crash. Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relati on to the deceased as indica ted in our banking guidelines, but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and one official in my department now decided to make this businness proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don’t want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner, and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30 % of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incured during the business and 60 % would be for me and my woman colleague. There after i will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.

Therefore to enable the immediate trnansfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where the money will be remitted.Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for thetransfer.

You should contact me on my number 00226-7885 75 97 immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Your’s faithfully,

Jimmy Gamba (Esq.)
FROM (ADB) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO.
GOD BLESSINGS,PROTECTIONS AND GUIDIANCE TO YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.

POST SCRITUM:You have to keep everything secret as to enable the transfer to move very smoothly in to the account you will prove to the bank.As you finished reading this letter call me immediately so that we discuss very well over this business.

and the UK lottery rubbish. Would include a post of the latest mail for that too, but it would make this post ridiculously long.

These two scams, and variations thereof, are clogging up my inbox and bulk mail folders (about 40 emails all up, just from the last month). It seems the more I mark as spam and get rid of, the more they send me.

Question I want to ask is how dumb do the people behind these schemes think people really are? Do they still find souls stupid enough to be taken in by this rubbish. I've known about the African scam for years, long before I first got a PC. It is one of the best known and publicised scams going. So far the family in the emails have died by metholds ranging from car crashes, plane crashes, drowning and even wild animal attacks. At least they manage to be a little inventive.

Only took one google search and noticing the email address (why would a genuine lottery runner use yahoo, gmail or even worse, hotmail?) to tell me the lottery thing was a con. Besides, how the heck could I win a lottery I've never entered, especially one on the other side of the world? Lotteries make money by selling tickets, and giving back a portion of the profits, not by giving money away for nothing.

Just wish I could close my inbox against this stuff. Or the people behind the scams would get the message that my email address is a waste of time and give up sending them. I certainly ain't going to fall for any of these cons.

Is anyone else copping a barrage of this sort of crap, and/or know anyone who has fallen for them? I'm just curious how gullible people really are, and I'm the queen of gullible. Usually fall for any old crap, but not stuff this blatent.

Huh. I just get offers for penny stocks and Chinese CNG converters.

*snip*

Question I want to ask is how dumb do the people behind these schemes think people really are? Do they still find souls stupid enough to be taken in by this rubbish.

Considering that my bank just posted a sign at the teller's window warning about this stuff, there are obviously enough stupid people to make it worth their while.

In all honesty, they only need to catch one fish with 100,000 hooks to make it worth their while...

The short answer is: yes, the scams do occasionally work. There was a story about a guy who got suckered in the New Yorker a few months back.

Question I want to ask is how dumb do the people behind these schemes think people really are? Do they still find souls stupid enough to be taken in by this rubbish. I've known about the African scam for years, long before I first got a PC. It is one of the best known and publicised scams going. So far the family in the emails have died by metholds ranging from car crashes, plane crashes, drowning and even wild animal attacks. At least they manage to be a little inventive.
Yes, to the tune of millions per year.

Huh. I just get offers for penny stocks and Chinese CNG converters.

And they all want to increase your penis size.

You know the saying: there's a sucker born every minute.

Money and greed have the power to over-ride common sense I guess. Seems some people need to learn that 'if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'

Money and greed have the power to over-ride common sense I guess. Seems some people need to learn that 'if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'
You can't cheat an honest man--there's got to be at least a little larceny in his heart.

If you throw those emails at enough millions of people you'll get someone somwhere to fall for it.

True, and I also saw on a TV special about these scams that those who agree to them can get into trouble with the law too in the US. Can't remember exactly how, but it has to do with defrauding the governments of other nations. All the more reason to not get involved.

I've been getting a crapload of those emails. I've just been reporting them as spam. Not sure what else to do.

I've been getting a crapload of those emails. I've just been reporting them as spam. Not sure what else to do.
You can bait them along (which is fun, I've done that from time to time) or forward them to Cthulhu for handling.

This arrived in my inbox about 10mins ago. Never had a Coca Cola con mail before. Something different from the other two I suppose :p.

THE COCA COLA COMPANY
PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD
DEPTCOCA COLA AVENUE
STAMFORD BRIDGE LONDON.
SW1V 3DW UNITED KINGDOM

THE COCA COLA COMPANY OFFICIAL PRIZE NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded annual
final draws held on the (16th of November) by Coca-Cola in conjunction
with the British American Tobacco Worldwide Promotion, your email was
among th 20 Lucky winners who won £300,000.00 each on the THE COCACOLA COMPANY PROMOTION. However the results were released on the 14 November, 2006 and your email was attached to ticket number (7PWYZ2006) and ballot number (BT:12052006/20The online draws was conducted by a random selection of email addresses from an exclusive list of 29,031 E-mail addresses of individuals and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet. However, no tickets were sold but all email addresses were assigned to different ticket numbers for representation and privacy.

The selection process was carried out through random selection in our
computerized email selection machine (TOPAZ) from a database of over
250,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world.

This Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board and also Licensed
by the The International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR).This
lottery is the 3rd of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public.

In other to claim your £300,000.00 prize winning, which has been
deposited in a designated bank. However,you will have to fill the form
below and send it to the Promotion manager of THE COCA COLA COMPANY for
verification and then you will be directed to the bank where a cheque
of £300,000.00 has already been deposited in your favour.

NAME:.....................................
AGE:........................................
SEX:........................................
ADDRESS:...............................
EMAIL:....................................
PHONE:...................................
OCCUPATION:.........................
COMPANY:..............................
COUNTRY:...............................
AMOUNT WON......................
MARITIAL STATUS................
NEXT OF KIN.........................
FAX IF ANY............................
PRESENT COUNTRY.............

Sincerely,
Mr Wange Chang
Online Coordinator,
COCACOLA LOTTERY PROMO,
Operator of The cocacola Lottery.
N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the Winners will
result to disqualification.

NOTE: Do not reply this mail. You are to contact your claims officer
immediately. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications,
please remember to quote your reference number in every one of your
correspondences.


Please you are adviced to complete the form and send it immediately to
our
Promotion manager through email or fax for prompt collection of your
fund from the designated bank.

(CONTACT PROMOTION MANAGER)
Name: Woodgate Keegan
Phone:+44-702-409-8569
Phone:+44-702-405-5043
Fax:+44-702-405-5231
E mail : worldwidecocacolaclaimsofficer03@yahoo.co.uk

You are to keep all lotto information away from the general public
especially your ticket number and ballot number. (This is important as
a case of double claims will not be entertained).

*Staff of Coca-Cola and the British American Tobacco Company are not to
partake in this Lottery.

Accept my hearty congratulations once again!

Yours faithfully,
Mr Woodgate Keegan
Agent Management

People fall for it because they don't know when something is too good to be true.

And they all want to increase your penis size.

Yeah, they're all like "Buying Opportunity! Shares of COCK are trading at $6 and look like they could climb to $8 or $10".

I don't get spam.:cool:

I have an uncle who falls for every one of those scams. Someone needs to lock him up for his own protection.

Sooner or later we'll run into a multi-quadicillionaire with a twelve-foot long penis who owns stock in a vast number of corporations who will laugh at us all for not accepting these gifts.

I got the same spam as mentioned in the OP. Thankfully it sits in the junk folder in Hotmail. (Yay!)

Many, many people fall for these. Con men make a killing off of this. I've only received one such email (it was from Burkina Faso), and needless to say, I immediately deleted it.

Sooner or later we'll run into a multi-quadicillionaire with a twelve-foot long penis who owns stock in a vast number of corporations who will laugh at us all for not accepting these gifts.

Eh? I'd laugh at him for not refusing them.

Eh? I'd laugh at him for not refusing them.

So would I. I mean, a twelve foot long penis? Unerect?! What the hell would it be when erect? How could you walk around like that? You couldn't wear pants; you'd have to stand twelve feet from the toilet, and FORGET about pissing sitting down...not to mention the inability to have any decent sex whatsoever...

So would I. I mean, a twelve foot long penis? Unerect?! What the hell would it be when erect? How could you walk around like that? You couldn't wear pants; you'd have to stand twelve feet from the toilet, and FORGET about pissing sitting down...not to mention the inability to have any decent sex whatsoever...

Well, let's see; a penis usually, roughly, doubles in size from flaccid to erect, so that would mean...

Twenty-four feet. That's as tall as an average house. You couldn't even lay down with an erection making even the possibility of sex on a bed impossible. And God help you if you get an erection while sleeping...morning wood could literally be as tall as a tree.

Not to mention there's no girth given. This could be twelve feet long and have the girth of a pencil.

Well, let's see; a penis usually, roughly, doubles in size from flaccid to erect, so that would mean...

Twenty-four feet. That's as tall as an average house. You couldn't even lay down with an erection making even the possibility of sex on a bed impossible. And God help you if you get an erection while sleeping...morning wood could literally be as tall as a tree.

Not to mention there's no girth given. This could be twelve feet long and have the girth of a pencil.

No chance of riding in a car or taking the bus, either. I can't imagine what it would be like going around with a twelve-foot flaccid penis. No underwear, no pants, always cold, always uncomfortable...the though it of it makes me actually want to say Jesus Christ!

Hmm, now how did a thread about scam emails evolve, or should I say devolve, into a discussion about enormous penisus, or should that be penii. Never was good with plurals :p.

Hmm, now how did a thread about scam emails evolve, or should I say devolve, into a discussion about enormous penisus, or should that be penii. Never was good with plurals :p.

The correct plural is penii or penises.

But how the topic changed to that, I can't say. :D

Damn, hasn't anyone told you guys about 419eater.com (http://419eater.com)? :p

So would I. I mean, a twelve foot long penis? Unerect?! What the hell would it be when erect? How could you walk around like that? You couldn't wear pants; you'd have to stand twelve feet from the toilet, and FORGET about pissing sitting down...not to mention the inability to have any decent sex whatsoever...

That, and being a multi-quadicillionaire would ruin me in several ways.

The correct plural is penii or penises.

But how the topic changed to that, I can't say. :D

It's because I like penises. I'm heterosexual in every other way, but I do like penises. :confused:

As for 419eater...that sounds like fun.

Soheren: How so? We're talking enough money to fuel the economy of the entire world about 200,000 times over.

The correct plural is penii or penises.

But how the topic changed to that, I can't say. :D

Well, being a single female, I am finding that turn of conversation quite interesting, to say the least :cool:.

Damn, hasn't anyone told you guys about 419eater.com (http://419eater.com)? :p

Nope, not me. Never heard of that forum. Mind you, no doubt there are thousands of forums I've never heard about :p.

Had a quick glance at their spam email section, and recognised a few just from the first page of threads as emails I've received, and either deleted or clicked the spam button on. People really need to resist the greed compulsion and use their brains. If these scammers weren't hooking silly fish, then perhaps they would stop sending this spam.

No chance of riding in a car or taking the bus, either. I can't imagine what it would be like going around with a twelve-foot flaccid penis. No underwear, no pants, always cold, always uncomfortable...the though it of it makes me actually want to say Jesus Christ!

And he'd be like "Look man, I can't help you with this one".

Ironically, you'd be the poster child for the seven deadly sins.

The correct plural is penii or penises.

Actually, that's penes, not penii; penis is a third declension Latin word so it gets the -es ending in the plural nominative case.

Ah, capitalism.:)

And he'd be like "Look man, I can't help you with this one".

Ironically, you'd be the poster child for the seven deadly sins.
I'm not sure how, unless you were fat, lazy, and REALLY angry about your huge penis and envious of people with normal penis sizes. 'Course, if he's fat, that means his penis is actually somewhat longer...

Fun fact: fat people have shorter penes than thin people. Surprised? You shouldn't be. See, part of your penis is within your body; it's called the root. As you gain weight, more of your penis is submerged below your skin. So, fatties with short penes, if you want a longer one, just lose some weight. You become longer AND more attractive at the same time. Win win. ;)

Soheren: How so? We're talking enough money to fuel the economy of the entire world about 200,000 times over.

Yeah. Exactly.

Soheran... the capitalist pig.

The Trotskyist papers would write about my depravity, the anarchist punk bands would name me in their revolutionary music as one of the targets, I'd be rubbing shoulders with the rich and powerful, I'd be addicted to the most vile and obscene privileges, I'd be constantly feeling guilty, every hot male or female who approached me would be after my money, because of my addiction to privilege I'd be consumed with protecting my money, and would thus become morally depraved....

No, thanks. I don't want to be rich. I want to be free. I want to be happy. I want to be good.

Yeah. Exactly.

Soheran... the capitalist pig.

The Trotskyist papers would write about my depravity, the anarchist punk bands would name me in their revolutionary music as one of the targets, I'd be rubbing shoulders with the rich and powerful, I'd be addicted to the most vile and obscene privileges, I'd be constantly feeling guilty, every hot male or female who approached me would be after my money, because of my addiction to privilege I'd be consumed with protecting my money, and would thus become morally depraved....

No, thanks. I don't want to be rich. I want to be free. I want to be happy. I want to be good.

Soheran...the capitalistic pig...talk about your Mirror Universe personalities...

I got one the other day that not only promised to increase my penis size by 6 inches, but also to improve the volume & quality of my ejaculate by 500%!

I'm anticipating delivery of these wonders of modern science any day now. :p

I always thought this was an absolute classic.:p
http://www.jonco48.com/blog/spam_you_never_see_small1.jpg

I got one the other day that not only promised to increase my penis size by 6 inches, but also to improve the volume & quality of my ejaculate by 500%!

I'm anticipating delivery of these wonders of modern science any day now. :p
...aren't you a female?

...aren't you a female?

Nope, guess again.

You can bait them along (which is fun, I've done that from time to time) or forward them to Cthulhu for handling.
Cthulhu fhtagn!:gundge:
Ia! Ia Nyarlathotep R'lyeh!

My favorite e-mail was the one I got offering me a job as a UN consultant. I'm not sure they understood that my credentials related to the NS UN and not the real-life UN.

;)

My favorite e-mail was the one I got offering me a job as a UN consultant. I'm not sure they understood that my credentials related to the NS UN and not the real-life UN.

;)

Oh, that reminds me: I was ordained as a minister via e-mail by some church in Southern California at one point. I was called Father Matthew by my family for months afterwards.

Huh, none of this cheap African bank-clerk and coke cola sluck for me. I get my spam from UK barristers!
Most recently I was offered a cut of a UK barrister's dead clients' funds. I had to inform him that I couldnt accept the offer as I was engaged in a deal with a Nigerian Prince who had made me swear not to deal with barristers or lawyers of any kind until the completion of our business dealings.

On an unrelated note, I recently went to check on my savings and for some reason my account appeared to be empty, according to my latest statement the money was transfered to an off-shore account in Nigeria.:confused:

...mmm, I guess it must be a banking error of some kind.:)

Actually, that's penes, not penii; penis is a third declension Latin word so it gets the -es ending in the plural nominative case.

I stand erected - er, I mean, corrected.