NationStates Jolt Archive

If you came into possession of technology that would allow you to "uplift" another species to human level sapience and sentience, what species would you choose?

A - O. Vulgara (Common Octopus)
B - F. silvestris (House Cat)
C - C. lupus familiaris (dogs)
D - U. arctos (Brown bears)
E - B. musculus (Blue Whales)
F - T. truncatus (Bottlenose Dolphin)
G - P. troglodytes (Common Chimpanzee)
H - H. sapiens :D
I - Other
J - None

A FTW! :p

Worst poll ever!

I voted 'F' for 'fuck dis shit'.

Hold On - Wait For It!!!!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

http://files.kavefish.com/pictures/collections/funny_cat_pictures/funny_cat_pictures_14.jpg

F - T. truncatus (Bottlenose Dolphin)


I voted 'F' for 'fuck dis shit'.

Nope. A vote for F was a vote for T. truncatus.

Ooh now it's less horrible, marginally.

Cats obviously, they'd be so superior it'd be deeply amusing.

Worst poll ever!

Why?

I voted Cat.
Damn my fantasies...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Do we not have an attention span of more than 10 seconds? Can we not understand the words "HOLD ON"?

Why?

because you took so long making the first post.

I voted Cat.
Damn my fantasies...

:D At least you bothered to wait to vote.

Do we not have an attention span of more than 10 seconds? Can we not understand the words "HOLD ON"?

Why not just post when it was ready?

Do we not have an attention span of more than 10 seconds? Can we not understand the words "HOLD ON"?
OP Posted 5:21
My post that is officially the last post before your op was edited 5:39

Waaaay more than 10 seconds. :p

And don't complain, At least I did wait... ;)

H. Sapiens FTW

If I could uplift Humans to a level of intelligence/sapience (I know they're different) befitting their race I'd be all over it.

The Cats would be next though.

Why?

Because it was blank for 18 minutes and I demand instant gratification!

Anopheles gambiae (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Aedes_aegypti_biting_human.jpg). Wouldn't that be amusing? :p

I voted for G, in the hopes that I could make Planet of The Apes come true.:D

Anopheles gambiae (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Aedes_aegypti_biting_human.jpg). Wouldn't that be amusing? :p

But that's Aedes aegypti.

I voted for the octopus for two reasons:

1. Its ecology is dissimilar enough to humans that they could develop in relative isolation and their resource requirements would be less likely to come into conflict with our own.

2. The technology they produced would be for a soft, relatively defenseless, prehensile limbed being relying mainly on vision in a hostile environment. This technology could easily be modified for human use in space.

The loyal and faithful ones, Canis lupus familiaris

Octopus because we don't use the sea for anything but dumping waste and its not like they can send my turds back :p

Plus they can help fight the evil jellyfish scourge!

Someone been reading David Brin?

we've got too many smart vertebrates already

I picked "I" (other) for Vulpes vulpes.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Vulpes_vulpes_sitting.jpg

Who wouldn't want a red fox to converse with?

I picked "I" (other) for Vulpes vulpes.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Vulpes_vulpes_sitting.jpg

Who wouldn't want a red fox to converse with?

Foxes already can talk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsQGFlTsYiU). :p

Foxes already can talk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsQGFlTsYiU). :p

I know, where do you think I got the idea for my own live action version. ;)

I like zee kitties. :)

Havn't you seen family guy! Dogs r t3h c00lest.

Nope. A vote for F was a vote for T. truncatus.

Aw. I don't want to face the dolphin that comes asking me why he has been granted his intelligence only for me to see that it was due to my own grumpy impatience.

*tries to make up valid, noble reason*

I like zee kitties. :)

Me, too. Young tabbies make the best stew. [yum]

Aw. I don't want to face the dolphin that comes asking me why he has been granted his intelligence only for me to see that it was due to my own grumpy impatience.

*tries to make up valid, noble reason*
errr... so that the can wreak havok on all those tuna fishermen who trap them in their nets?

errr... so that the can wreak havok on all those tuna fishermen who trap them in their nets?

Yeah... that'll do I guess.

Chimps FTW!

Chimps FTW!

You want to make them dumber?

Raccoons. Procyon lotor.

Bears people, bears! How can you not want an awesomely uber talking, sapient bear?! How cool would that be?



Just me?...

These cuties! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Penguin)

A species of ant. Ooh wait no even better: trees :D Doesn't matter what species, but some kinda tree.

Bears people, bears! How can you not want an awesomely uber talking, sapient bear?! How cool would that be?

yeah, when i think "what could make soulless killing machines even better?" the first thing that pops into my head is to make them smarter

I picked "I" (other) for Vulpes vulpes.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Vulpes_vulpes_sitting.jpg

Who wouldn't want a red fox to converse with?

FOXES FTW. They're like a mix of dog and cat with an assload of cuteness dropped into the genetic pool.

FOXES FTW. They're like a mix of dog and cat with an assload of cuteness dropped into the genetic pool.

And it just occurred to me - why the fuckity FUCK haven't we domesticated those cute little bastards yet?!

And it just occurred to me - why the fuckity FUCK haven't we domesticated those cute little bastards yet?!

Probably 'cause they'd try burrowing through the floorboards.

I just want to play poker with a cat. I think it would be a good way to spend my free time.

And it just occurred to me - why the fuckity FUCK haven't we domesticated those cute little bastards yet?!

we have: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tame_Silver_Fox

we have: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tame_Silver_Fox

Jesus Christ I'm begging Santa for a fox this year. -_-

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/octopus.gif

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/octopus.gif

Cthulhu?

Cthulhu?
Don't say that!

...ung. Too late: http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/chtulu.gif

No, that's an octopus!

I just want to play poker with a cat. I think it would be a good way to spend my free time.

Doubtlessly true. And at the same time, complete bull-dada. Have you sent in your thirty dollars to Bob yet?

Don't say that!

...ung. Too late: http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/chtulu.gif

No, that's an octopus!

Cthulhu could become an octopus if he wanted to. >_> Fuckin' elder god, y'know.

Don't say that!

...ung. Too late: http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/chtulu.gif

No, that's an octopus!

:eek:

*fails San Roll*
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Probably 'cause they'd try burrowing through the floorboards.

Hell, my cousin's dogs do that! I'm with Szanth -- I want a fox for Christmahanukkwanzaa.

Wolves! We need wolves ya hear!

Lobsters. We need lobster people.

Wolves! We need wolves ya hear!

I second the motion.

Lobsters. We need lobster people.
Um... why?

Um... why?

Beeeeecaaaaauuuuuseeeee lobsters are awesome. Sentient lobsters would own.

Beeeeecaaaaauuuuuseeeee lobsters are awesome. Sentient lobsters would own.
Have you read Accelerando by Charles Stross? :)

Have you read Accelerando by Charles Stross? :)

No.

Should I?

Have you read Accelerando by Charles Stross? :)

Or Songs of Distant Earth by Arthur Clarke.

sadly, most of these animals are already superior in many ways to homo sapians.

especially cats.

cats always look at you with that look that says:
"i know so much more than you, dumb human, and the only reason i keep you around is for your nifty opposable thumbs to open my kitty food"

No.

Should I?

It has sentient lobsters:


"Why do you want to defect, and who to? Have you thought about where you're going? Is it ideological or strictly economic?"

"Neither – is biological. Am wanting to go away from humans, away from light cone of impending singularity. Take us to the ocean."

http://www.accelerando.org/

Well, for the realistic view, dogs. For the sex crazed teen in me, cats and/or foxes, so they could somehow turn into cat or fox girls and thus fulfill my fantasies.

Well, for the realistic view, dogs. For the sex crazed teen in me, cats and/or foxes, so they could somehow turn into cat or fox girls and thus fulfill my fantasies.
Eugh! No!



Anyway - bears - for they are full of amusement.

Well, for the realistic view, dogs. For the sex crazed teen in me, cats and/or foxes, so they could somehow turn into cat or fox girls and thus fulfill my fantasies.

Cats, yes. All cats. I wanna have a thundercat as a friend. that'd have to be what they were, intelligent, evolved cats. Besides, cheetara and Pumyra were drawn very, very well.

If you came into possession of technology that would allow you to "uplift" another species to human level sapience and sentience, what species would you choose?

A - O. Vulgara (Common Octopus) : Nah, then I couldn't eat calimari.
B - F. silvestris (House Cat) : They're already there. They don't have to do anything, yet people "keep" them.
C - C. lupus familiaris (dogs) : Tempting! Culturally, it would become acceptable to walk up to any female and smell her ass on first encounter. Sex in the streets is fine, and best of all... NO PANTS!
D - U. arctos (Brown bears) : Heck no! 400-2500lbs of carnivours critter that stands up to 9' tall with technology? We humans wouldn't last a decade!
E - B. musculus (Blue Whales) : Dammit Jim, I'm a whale, not a...
F - T. truncatus (Bottlenose Dolphin) : As with the cat, they're already there. They were smart enough not to come out of the water.
G - P. troglodytes (Common Chimpanzee) : Get your stinkin' paws off me you damn dirty ape!
H - H. sapiens :D : Oh, if only.
I - Other
J - None

Looking it over, I gotta go with C! :D

Cats, yes. All cats. I wanna have a thundercat as a friend. that'd have to be what they were, intelligent, evolved cats. Besides, cheetara and Pumyra were drawn very, very well.

I was thinking more along the lines of anime style cat girls. ~_~

Sapient bears would be interesting.

Edit: Sapient wolves would be even better, but that does not appear to be a poll option.

It's a toss-up between "none" so we can remain the dominant species, and "people who think the OC is good" so they wouldn't exist anymore.

I was thinking more along the lines of anime style cat girls. ~_~
All I can say is please remember to spay your cat girl.

*Runs and hides from Kat*

All I can say is please remember to spay your cat girl.

*Runs and hides from Kat*

Ah, yes, gotta keep this from happening, eh? (http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/3463/1144821657163jpgau7.jpg)

Ah, yes, gotta keep this from happening, eh? (http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/3463/1144821657163jpgau7.jpg)
Dear... GOD! That's too scary!

Edit: Sapient wolves would be even better, but that does not appear to be a poll option.

Yes, it does - in either of two options, depending on how you read the OP, and if you want to uplift C. rufus, C. simensis, or C. dirus.

If you read the OP strictly as species, and not subspecies, then you could have voted "C" for C. lupus (and rightfully have yelled at me for being overly specific). Otherwise, "I" covers the others. ;)

I always wanted to know what my dog was thinking, so C is the choice for me.

Dolphins, Whales, Dogs,Octopussy and Bears are already above Humans, Cats are way too inferior.
Worst Poll ever it is!
*Secretly votes Octopussy*
I always wanted to know what my dog was thinking, so C is the choice for me.
The farside has already answered that..
Hey
Hey Hey Hey Hey! :p

Raccoons! I mean, look at all the hell the fluffy bastards can allready raise with their little brains. Now give 'em opposable thumbs and the intelligence to use computers, crowbars and guns...

The world would never be the same again!:D

Considering that I would prefer that humanity remain the dominant species, most of the poll options go right out the window. Cats, Dogs, Bears, Dolphins...would all find ways to supplant us quite readily, I am sure.

Therefore, we must select an animal that will pose no threat to us, even if it is as smart as us.

I believe I have found a candidate...

http://www.classicescapes.com/images/Three-toed-Sloth.RP.jpg

bats

:eek:

*fails San Roll*
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl ...
Don't. Say. That!!!

http://www.macguff.fr/goomi/unspeakable/WEBIMAGES/CARTOON/u79-read.jpg
Brought to you by: Unspeakable Vault (of Doom) or Weird Tales from the Old Ones... (http://www.macguff.fr/goomi/unspeakable/home.html)

Looking it over, I gotta go with C! :D
Your comments are funny as hell! :D:D:D

I'll agree with Pledgeria: Foxes!

Cows. So the song can come true.

I voted Octopus, that'd just be too damn cool to turn down. Apart from octopi, I can think of several other awesome animal cantidates for sentience:

Cattle, for instant servitude.
Ants, for instant subjugation.
Cockroaches, for instant submission.
Giant squid, for awesome trading partners and cities at the bottoms of the ocean
Goldfish, for instant hilarity.
Sharks, for an excellent war.
Any strain of Virus (I know, I know, but still i say they are alive), for a not so excellent war.
Orangutangs, for fantastic drinking partners.
Kiwis, for a massive relief on the overburdened Australian dole system. (@ Harlesburg ;) )

i'd have to say red pandas (ailurus fulgens) although they may not so much need "uplifting" as just a chance for survival.

=^^=
.../\...

Leopardus wiedii > Felis silvestris.

I want super-intellegent margays. Or at the very least, I want magic powers to animate my stuffed cat Noir, and make her clean my room. Lazy bitch lays in bed all day.

For those of you uplifting cats, I present the following.

This cat already knows how to flush:
http://www.brettbits.com/Video/ToiletCat

And this cat is learning to use the printer:
http://www.brettbits.com/Video/CatVsPrinter

Ants, I think. Or possibly bees. Some species where the individual seem to function not at all like an individual. Oh, and as a bonus, smell is practically their primary sense and communication form, which also would be really interesting.

I voted Octopus, that'd just be too damn cool to turn down.
Absolfuckinglutely!

Calamari are the only animals I don't eat because they are way too cool.

All Of Th?e Above!!! :d

Relevent fact: Elephants according to new study have a similar thought process to ours and our equally intellectual. If they had the aposable thumb earth would be housing two different civilized species ;)

I'll agree with Pledgeria: Foxes!

I never get tired of reading that. :D :cool:

P.S. Yay, foxes!

The whale, so I can ride whale back and fight the Japanese whaling industry.

I voted cats, but come to think of it, they don't need the help. They already have life better than I do. Especially my cats.

Don't. Say. That!!!

http://www.macguff.fr/goomi/unspeakable/WEBIMAGES/CARTOON/u79-read.jpg
Brought to you by: Unspeakable Vault (of Doom) or Weird Tales from the Old Ones... (http://www.macguff.fr/goomi/unspeakable/home.html)
No human should say words of the Elder Tongues.
Luckily, I am not human. Ia! Ia! Nyarlathotep! Shub-Niggurath! Ia! Ia! IA!

Have you read Accelerando by Charles Stross? :)

Beeeeecaaaaauuuuuseeeee lobsters are awesome. Sentient lobsters would own.

You guys are weird. Can we go back to Cthulhu now?
And yes, I know that I'm even weirder than you are. So what?

Dolphins, from what I've heard, are pretty much already there.

I'd make dogs smarter. But of course only if they would still have their loyal, faithful nature.

After extensive Review of the dogs Playing Poker masterpiece, I would like to add the having sentient dogs would totaly PWN.

I'd make dogs smarter. But of course only if they would still have their loyal, faithful nature.
I don't think smarter dogs would be faithful to humans though, just to other dogs.

I picked I because so many humans act stupid.

http://www.gonta.tk/pix/zoidberg.jpg

You know it would rock.

Arrgh it be the cursed octopus!