NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok so y'all know I am dating a girl named Leah, who I really like alot, and we get along great. However, when we met, she was just breaking up with her current boyfriend and you know we've been talking for about a week and half before getting together. However so far the only people who know we are together is me and her. Her best friend think that she needs more time between her ex and me, and such. I mean me and her are taking it slow, and we are there for each other. My girl thinks her best friend is a hypocrite because of the way her best friend conduct her romantic life, however she doesn't want to make her best friend mad, or upset, so right now she is just following her best friend's advice. I appreciate what her best friend is trying to do, but I believe that ultimately it's up to my girl to call the shots herself, if she wants to be with me, then she wants to be with me. What do you guys think?

Also on the same note, we would like to spend some time alone together but so far, we think this might upset her best friend, any advice?

Slam that rebound home baby.

Slam that rebound home baby.

Huh?

Slam that rebound home baby.
Hehe.

What they are saying is you should wait to make sure you are Leah's Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now.

The friend is not jealous -- she's trying to keep you both from ending up regretting getting together too soon.

you know when she opens up to you and tells you her problems she doesn't expect you to fix it, in fact it probably annoys her.

her best friend eh quite bitchy about you and her ;)

you know when she opens up to you and tells you her problems she doesn't expect you to fix it, in fact it probably annoys her.

Ooookkk.... then what the hell am I suspose to do?

What they are saying is you should wait to make sure you are Leah's Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now.

The friend is not jealous -- she's trying to keep you both from ending up regretting getting together too soon.

That's true and I appreciate it, but Leah is an adult and so am I. We have to make our own mistakes.

Ooookkk.... then what the hell am I suspose to do?

validate, listen, validate, etc.

"my friend is mean"
"why?"
"she is being a bitch, but I don't want to lose the friendship"
"man, that sucks, what do you think you are going to do?"
"I don't know"
*hugs*

validate, listen, validate, etc.

"my friend is mean"
"why?"
"she is being a bitch, but I don't want to lose the friendship"
"man, that sucks, what do you think you are going to do?"
"I don't know"
*hugs*

I already do that, and we do talk to one another about what to do. I don't make any decisions about her and her best friends. I just come up with ideas, pitch it to her and let her deal with it.

...it's up to my girl to call the shots herself, if she wants to be with me, then she wants to be with me.

Yes, that's her call. I'm assuming you want that call to be favorable in terms of a relationship with her, so your goal is to make that decision as easy as possible for her by being the greatest guy she has ever known and wants to be with. Have fun ;)

Also on the same note, we would like to spend some time alone together but so far, we think this might upset her best friend, any advice?

Eh, depends on what sort of person this best friend of yours is, and what she thinks of you. You'll need to be more specific.

That's true and I appreciate it, but Leah is an adult and so am I. We have to make our own mistakes.

*nod*

Well, that's all her friend and the others posting above me are saying. Don't be surprised by the "can we just be friends" talk or even the "BF and I are getting back together" talk.

*nod*

Well, that's all her friend and the others posting above me are saying. Don't be surprised by the "can we just be friends" talk or even the "BF and I are getting back together" talk.

Oh trust me they are not getting back together, he was an abusive cheating asshole.

I dunno, drink beer until the whole situation makes sense.



Actually, that's stupid. Listen to Kat et al.

Oh trust me they are not getting back together, he was an abusive cheating asshole.

*coughthat'swhattheyallsaycough*

I already do that, and we do talk to one another about what to do. I don't make any decisions about her and her best friends. I just come up with ideas, pitch it to her and let her deal with it.

and that would annoy the crap out of me.

and that would annoy the crap out of me.

Well that's you.

Well that's you.

and just about every other woman I have ever talked to about it.

and just about every other woman I have ever talked to about it.

hmmm, interesting.

hmmm, interesting.

you absolutely should talk to her about it, prove me wrong ;) or you know just ask her what she thinks (chicks dig that)

you absolutely should talk to her about it, prove me wrong ;) or you know just ask her what she thinks (chicks dig that)

Eh I do talk to her about it, and I do listen to her. She doesn't seem to mind that I have my own input, just that I let her make all the moves since it is her best friend and not mine.

I dunno, drink beer until the whole situation makes sense.



yep, best advice yet. If I were you, I'd be getting drunk right now my friend. That or realise that girls have friends. They dont go away, you have to put up with them. Because more often than not girls choose their friends over boyfriends.

yep, best advice yet. If I were you, I'd be getting drunk right now my friend. That or realise that girls have friends. They dont go away, you have to put up with them. Because more often than not girls choose their friends over boyfriends.

That is true, I realize that Leah will pick her best friend over me.

Eh I do talk to her about it, and I do listen to her. She doesn't seem to mind that I have my own input, just that I let her make all the moves since it is her best friend and not mine.

you should ask her if she minds...be a communicator not an assumer. (or something)

I can tell you that of all of my friends I was the only one who brought up this subject with my partner, and that's just because I tend to talk way too much.

you should ask her if she minds...be a communicator not an assumer. (or something)

I can tell you that of all of my friends I was the only one who brought up this subject with my partner, and that's just because I tend to talk way too much.

Ok I will. Bet you $5 that I am right.

Ok I will. Bet you $5 that I am right.

Paypal?

Oh trust me they are not getting back together, he was an abusive cheating asshole.

You have to understand something about girls, buddy. First rule is: they don't make sense.

You would be amazed how many times in my life (i'm 21) already I've seen this happen time and time again. I've been with girls who run back to shitty situations. I've slipped up in a relationship only to have her come back months later when I fully knew I was being a dick to her.

Never try to mix logic and love. It'll make your head spin.

Ok I will. Bet you $5 that I am right.

hey, if it means you will sit down and have an actual conversation with her about her feelings and what she needs from you in your relationship I will just give you $5.

realise that girls have friends. They dont go away, you have to put up with them. Because more often than not girls choose their friends over boyfriends.

yes they do have friends

yup seen that happen

hey, if it means you will sit down and have an actual conversation with her about her feelings and what she needs from you in your relationship I will just give you $5.

Done and done. Right now she is spending some time with her friend, so I got some time to kill (hence why I am on here).

I really don't mind that they are friends, and if Leah wants to spend some time with her, that's great and I'm fine when she spends time with her, I can keep myself entertained. I just wish we could be more open with our relationship to her friend without having her friend freak out.

That all depends on how strong her relationship is with her friend. My ex and her best friend were freaking attached at the hip, and her (my ex's) best friend kept saying she should dump me, so she did.

*Ponders for a few seconds.*

Then again, my ex did quite frequently lie to me. And it seemed like she never wanted to spend time with me. Stupid bitch.

Anyway, it all depends on the strength of their relationship with their best friend. Personally, I would have a talk with her best friend, and try and straighten it out with her. But, that's just me. Then again, I am awesome, so my opinion is obviously going to work well, but you try whatever you want.

That all depends on how strong her relationship is with her friend. My ex and her best friend were freaking attached at the hip, and her (my ex's) best friend kept saying she should dump me, so she did.

*Ponders for a few seconds.*

Then again, my ex did quite frequently lie to me. And it seemed like she never wanted to spend time with me. Stupid bitch.

Anyway, it all depends on the strength of their relationship with their best friend. Personally, I would have a talk with her best friend, and try and straighten it out with her. But, that's just me. Then again, I am awesome, so my opinion is obviously going to work well, but you try whatever you want.

Hmmm, they are attached to the hip as well.

Hmmm, they are attached to the hip as well.
Then you're screwed. :( Sorry bud :(

Then you're screwed. :( Sorry bud :(

Eh at least she isn't telling Leah to break up with me.

That all depends on how strong her relationship is with her friend. My ex and her best friend were freaking attached at the hip, and her (my ex's) best friend kept saying she should dump me, so she did.

*Ponders for a few seconds.*

Then again, my ex did quite frequently lie to me. And it seemed like she never wanted to spend time with me. Stupid bitch.

Anyway, it all depends on the strength of their relationship with their best friend. Personally, I would have a talk with her best friend, and try and straighten it out with her. But, that's just me. Then again, I am awesome, so my opinion is obviously going to work well, but you try whatever you want.

dam to me that sound like they were more then friends

Eh at least she isn't telling Leah to break up with me.

how do you know if she not

how do you know if she not

Because I'm friend with her best friend, how do you think we met?! :D

Because I'm friend with her best friend, how do you think we met?! :D

Maybe she wants you. Do you think that is possible?

Because I'm friend with her best friend, how do you think we met?! :D

thats good to hear
you dont want to end the way my mate did going off to join the french legion
thanks to his ex

Maybe she wants you. Do you think that is possible?

Eh, me and her (not Leah) have very few things in common, and well we're just two completely different people. Me and Leah are basically the same, so I don't think so.

Eh, me and her (not Leah) have very few things in common, and well we're just two completely different people. Me and Leah are basically the same, so I don't think so.

OK, then I have no worries about the success between you Leah and you. Leah's friend is probably just concerned for her friend after her experience with her past boyfriend, who appears to be a K-Fed wannabe from what you've described.

Ooookkk.... then what the hell am I suspose to do?
Suggest a threesome with you, her and her friend.


trust me, chicks dig it.

Suggest a threesome with you, her and her friend.


trust me, chicks dig it.

Yea and after they slap me, then what? :p

Execute your suggestion, of course.

Okay dude, your problem is this:
You're dating a chick named Leah. I have never once known a Leah that has been good to date. My worse experience dating was with a Leah. My best friend's bitch of an ex was Leah. They tend to be unfaithful(my friend's) or overbearing(mine), and commonly both. So take a hint from her best friends condescension. Dump Leah and get with her best friend cuz it sounds like she wants you, or at least wants to be included in a hot threesome.

actually, just keep it up. nothing is going to change the situation so ride it out if you think the girl is worth it.