NationStates Jolt Archive


Your Tombstone

Pledgeria
04-11-2006, 21:08
Inspired by:

Ironically, today, I decided I want my headstone to read
"Bruce: He saw the light, and put on sunglasses."

I just wonder -- what would you like your tombstone/headstone to read? I think I'd like:

Here lies Kevin: Let this be a lesson to you all.
Druidville
04-11-2006, 21:10
Who said I was dying? :D
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:10
I won't be having a tombstone as traditional burials and cemeteries are not eco-friendly.
Pledgeria
04-11-2006, 21:12
I won't be having a tombstone as traditional burials and cemeteries are not eco-friendly.

LOL. Okay, then, what would you like inscribed on your urn/dixie cup/plastic baggie of cremains? :)
The blessed Chris
04-11-2006, 21:12
I'm having as large, ornat and imposing headstone as possible, with "Here lies [insert name here], and he died a richer man than you"
Celtlund
04-11-2006, 21:12
Name.
Rank.
Branch of service.
Date of birth.
Date of death.
No more, no less.
Soviestan
04-11-2006, 21:14
Here lies a guy who wasn't great, but meh, he never killed anybody.......that didn't deserve it.
New Xero Seven
04-11-2006, 21:15
Just lay some cookies on the plate in front of you, thanks.
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:15
LOL. Okay, then, what would you like inscribed on your urn/dixie cup/plastic baggie of cremains? :)

My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.
Pledgeria
04-11-2006, 21:15
Name.
Rank.
Branch of service.
Date of birth.
Date of death.
No more, no less.

I know when they buried my grandpa, that was all that was on his tombstone.
Shazbotdom
04-11-2006, 21:16
Bah.

When I die, I want to be burried upside down in a clear coffin so the world can kiss my ass.....;)
Andaluciae
04-11-2006, 21:16
"Developed the first personal nuclear weapons platform, minor accident with trigger."

Or...

"The Cirrhosis got him before the cancer"
Pledgeria
04-11-2006, 21:19
My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.

I recommend a shallow grave in the tropics, then. The warm weather helps to skeletonize a corpse quickly -- in some instances in as little as two weeks. ;) Nevertheless, the point of the post remains (no pun intended), is there at least a witty rejoinder by which you'd like to be remembered?
Ifreann
04-11-2006, 21:19
"If you can read this then I was wrong about how long it takes a train to stop"
Soviestan
04-11-2006, 21:19
My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.

so you wouldn't be against dumping your body in the ocean and allowing the sea creatures to do what they like with you.
Ifreann
04-11-2006, 21:20
My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.

Quicklime. *nods*
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:20
so you wouldn't be against dumping your body in the ocean and allowing the sea creatures to do what they like with you.

Of course not, since I will be dead. If the fishies would like it, and it is not of ecological harm, then they are free to devour the husk that was once me.
Soheran
04-11-2006, 21:21
"Disgusting, vile, pretentious asshole."

That way, whatever is actually written will be an improvement.
Oeck
04-11-2006, 21:22
I won't be having a tombstone as traditional burials and cemeteries are not eco-friendly.
Seeing how, in the event, you'll be too dead to have much of an influence, I might then carry with me the urge to get you a tombstone with "Traditional burials and cemeteries are not eco-friendly!" on it.
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 21:27
I plan on getting a statue of an angel made that's holding an urn for my ashes.

Then bribe a building owner in Philadelphia to put it in front of the building.

EDIT: And no, I'm not regilious. I just think an angel would look nice. ;)
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:28
I recommend a shallow grave in the tropics, then. The warm weather helps to skeletonize a corpse quickly -- in some instances in as little as two weeks. ;) Nevertheless, the point of the post remains (no pun intended), is there at least a witty rejoinder by which you'd like to be remembered?

"There is peace and dignity in obscurity." Satisfied?
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:29
Seeing how, in the event, you'll be too dead to have much of an influence, I might then carry with me the urge to get you a tombstone with "Traditional burials and cemeteries are not eco-friendly!" on it.

I would prefer it you didn't, but if you did, it would have nothing to do with me, as you would have no access to my remains and the resource waste would be on your head.
Oeck
04-11-2006, 21:33
I would prefer it you didn't, but if you did, it would have nothing to do with me, as you would have no access to my remains and the resource waste would be on your head.
Aha. Haha. You know I love it when I can catch you in your rare moments of naiveness.
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:36
Aha. Haha. You know I love it when I can catch you in your rare moments of naiveness.

Well, they're not as common as yours of delusion, that's right.
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 21:37
"There is peace and dignity in obscurity." Satisfied?

Nah. I actually feel a little dirty now.

moreso than usual, I mean.

Oh...you meant with the quote. Yeah, that'll do, I suppose.
Zilam
04-11-2006, 21:38
What do I want on my tombstone?


Mushrooms and pepperoni, of course :)
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:39
Nah. I actually feel a little dirty now.

moreso than usual, I mean.

No biggie, I can always lick it off.
Drunk commies deleted
04-11-2006, 21:39
Here lies Drunk Commies, beloved pet and sideshow freak.

"See you in hell."
Oeck
04-11-2006, 21:40
Well, they're not as common as yours of delusion, that's right.

Few things are. *pride*

In order to pretend on-topicness: how about "Sanity's been trying to catch her, but she was faster for all of her 47 years. Race came to a dignified end on XXXX; please find medals below"
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:41
Few things are. *pride*

In order to pretend on-topicness: how about "Sanity's been trying to catch her, but she was faster for all of her 47 years. Race came to a dignified end on XXXX; please find medals below"

Hmm, laboured. Fits you. :D
Desperate Measures
04-11-2006, 21:42
"Wanna trade seats?"
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 21:44
"Here lies Ruffy; Boston still sucks"
Oeck
04-11-2006, 21:44
Hmm, laboured. Fits you. :D

Labored would fit me better. :)
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:45
Labored would fit me better. :)

You're not dyslexic or adjacently USian.
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 21:47
No biggie, I can always lick it off.

that works. Almost too well.....
Whereyouthinkyougoing
04-11-2006, 21:48
"Here lies Ruffy; Boston still sucks"
rofl :D
Oeck
04-11-2006, 21:48
"Here lies Ruffy; Boston still sucks"
You win for correctly placing a semicolon in your headstone text.

You're not dyslexic or adjacently USian.
Why doesn't anybody ever tell me about the major changes in my life?
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 21:50
"Here lies Ruffy; Boston still sucks"

You little punk.
Hampster Squared
04-11-2006, 21:50
"No dancing"
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:52
that works. Almost too well.....

I'm sure I can extract more soilage from whence the previous one came, meaning my service will not work itself out of a gig.
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 21:54
Why doesn't anybody ever tell me about the major changes in my life?

We were never made aware of its presence.
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 21:56
I'm sure I can extract more soilage from whence the previous one came, meaning my service will not work itself out of a gig.

...

*clears throat*


So...how long till you can get here?;)
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 21:59
rofl :D
:D
You win for correctly placing a semicolon in your headstone text.
Yay!
You little punk.

Well it's true.
Swilatia
04-11-2006, 22:03
I don't need no tombstone.
Oeck
04-11-2006, 22:03
We were never made aware of its presence.
Oh, nobody ever tells you anything?

:

Yay!

Never praise a post before the thread's over- you do realize that this means I'm bound to encourage your death to come as quickly as possible, so that I may marvel at your headstone while still able to travel wih relative ease?
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 22:05
...

*clears throat*

So...how long till you can get here?;)

Sorry, my security from arbitrary arrest and right to council and to challenge my detention cannot be guaranteed in the US. We'll always have Montréal, though.
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 22:06
Oh, nobody ever tells you anything?

Just because I'm told doesn't mean I listen.
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 22:06
Well it's true.
Psht...you came to boston with your family on the hottest day of the year.

Come up again, and I'll show you a real view of Boston
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 22:06
Never praise a post before the thread's over- you do realize that this means I'm bound to encourage your death to come as quickly as possible, so that I may marvel at your headstone while still able to travel wih relative ease?

Can I have a cake first?
Wilgrove
04-11-2006, 22:08
I won't have a tombstone, I will be cremated and half of my ashes will be spread across the runway at my airport, and the other half will be let out of an airplane at 3,000 feet.
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 22:09
Psht...you came to boston with your family on the hottest day of the year.

Come up again, and I'll show you a real view of Boston

I'll be there in a few hours. Meet me at the worlds largest tea pot.
Oeck
04-11-2006, 22:14
Can I have a cake first?
I'm afraid that subjecting yourself to my baking skills might in fact be the very thing that'll bring about your death.

I will be cremated and half of my ashes will be spread across the runway at my airport, and the other half will be let out of an airplane at 3,000 feet.
Fancy. What's all the effort for? It can't be for your own good, and it won't, say, give your loved ones a place to pilgrimage to (which seems to be the sad excuse for the whole coffin-in-cemetery thing, as if they'd be in danger to forget you if they couldn't do the taking care of the grave routine), either.

Just because I'm told doesn't mean I listen.
Just because you say so doesn't mean it is so.
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 22:16
Sorry, my security from arbitrary arrest and right to council and to challenge my detention cannot be guaranteed in the US. We'll always have Montréal, though.Ah yes. I've heard Montreal has great festivities planned for Sissymas.

I'll be there in a few hours. Meet me at the worlds largest tea pot.
where the hell is that?
Fassigen
04-11-2006, 22:19
Ah yes. I've heard Montreal has great festivities planned for Sissymas.

Montréal has great festivities planned for everything. It's the gayest semi-little town in the world. *sighs, misses*
Wilgrove
04-11-2006, 22:23
Fancy. What's all the effort for? It can't be for your own good, and it won't, say, give your loved ones a place to pilgrimage to (which seems to be the sad excuse for the whole coffin-in-cemetery thing, as if they'd be in danger to forget you if they couldn't do the taking care of the grave routine), either.

They could visit me at the airport, and comon, why would you want to be buried at a place you'll only check into and not check out of? I mean would you rather have your final resting place be a place that means alot to you when you were alive. Thats why I said in my ghost thread I'll probably end up haunting my airport.
Yootopia
04-11-2006, 22:24
"Joseph...

Were only he not taken from us when not having sex with the winners of the last three Miss World Contests at the same time, whilst driving a monster truck coated in communist propaganda into the White House...

Alas, this was actually what happened.

Gutted."
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 22:24
I'm afraid that subjecting yourself to my baking skills might in fact be the very thing that'll bring about your death.
I have no problem with that. Just gimme cake!
where the hell is that?

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/Goomg/vacation-june/dfhgfh032.jpg
Oeck
04-11-2006, 22:28
They could visit me at the airport,
Point taken for the one half.
and comon, why would you want to be buried at a place you'll only check into and not check out of?
I'm sorry, I'm not into being buried at all. But, umm, I suppose I'm supposed to take that check in, check out thing figuratively? Which, you know, I probably wouldn't care about whether my physical decaying body coud figuratively check out of the place it's on/in.
I mean would you rather have your final resting place be a place that means alot to you when you were alive.AMF, I tend to not fancy any "final resting place" at all, but ven if I did, I wouldn't care as to where it'd be, considering how I don't think a dead person notices where exactly the body is.
Sarkhaan
04-11-2006, 22:30
I have no problem with that. Just gimme cake!


http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/Goomg/vacation-june/dfhgfh032.jpg

Ugh...you want me to go all the way down to the BCEC/WTC? Why? there's nothing down there....


meet me at Newbury.
Shikishima
04-11-2006, 22:34
Tombstone implies grave. No grave. I will be bodily consumed by my loved ones.
Lunatic Goofballs
04-11-2006, 22:34
My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.

So... you want to be ground up and used for mulch. Groovy. ;)
Oeck
04-11-2006, 22:35
I have no problem with that. Just gimme cake!


Your place; I'll bring the flour, and you are responsible for the rest.
IL Ruffino
04-11-2006, 22:36
Ugh...you want me to go all the way down to the BCEC/WTC? Why? there's nothing down there....


meet me at Newbury.

Fine. Bring money.
Oeck
04-11-2006, 22:37
Tombstone implies grave. No grave. I will be bodily consumed by my loved ones.

And there's no love for worms?
Lunatic Goofballs
04-11-2006, 22:42
My plan is to vanish without a trace so I don't even know if there will be a grave. But if for some reason my body is found and buried or my empty plot has a stone placed, I'd like:

"Wake me when it's over."

"Worms tickle"

"You should've seen the other guy."

or

"There goes the neighborhood" -Rodney Dangerfield's epitaph.
Andaluciae
04-11-2006, 22:45
"Herein lies entombed your demon-god, appease him lest he return and smitith thee for your insolence. Leave him beer and malt liquor."
Dragontide
04-11-2006, 22:49
"Here lies Dragontide. Please don't repo my tombstone! The check's in the mail" :D
Shikishima
04-11-2006, 22:56
And there's no love for worms?

No. I hate when it rains & the rank stench of annalid fills the air. Besides, modern graves are worm-rpoof. Concrete crypts in the ground.
Lunatic Goofballs
04-11-2006, 22:57
No. I hate when it rains & the rank stench of annalid fills the air. Besides, modern graves are worm-rpoof. Concrete crypts in the ground.

Not for me. *shakes head* I want to rot.
Wilgrove
04-11-2006, 23:18
I actually plan to have a little fun with my death.

On the night of the viewing, I'll have one of my family member pull a switch, which will release a spring under me which will push me to sit straight up! :D

Then during cremation, I'll have someone remote start a tape recording of me screaming 'AHHH IT BURNS, LET ME OUT! I'M NOT DEAD YOU BASTARDS, OH MY GOD I'M BURNING UP!"

:D
Oeck
04-11-2006, 23:21
Wir sitzen hier am runden Tisch und saufen bis er eckig ist!
Modify that to "Wir liegen hier unter'm eckigen Grabstein und saufen bis er rund ist" and we're talking..:)
Nani Goblin
04-11-2006, 23:44
"insert coin"
Curious Inquiry
05-11-2006, 00:12
"Is He Dead Yet?"
Aston
05-11-2006, 00:18
I'd like

"died after years of being a burden on the tax payer and his family"
Londim
05-11-2006, 00:46
" I plan to live forever..........Damn it!"
Marklacovia
05-11-2006, 04:42
Mine will say and I quote''What the Hell are you doing in a Graveyard anyways?,don't you have anything better to do?''
Smunkeeville
05-11-2006, 04:46
I won't have a tombstone...
The Vuhifellian States
05-11-2006, 04:46
"Don't let your children's hands morph into the shape of Playstation controllers...like this poor bastard."

I think it's a mix between that and "Dammit Dan! What did you do this time"
Desperate Measures
05-11-2006, 04:47
Maybe the best:

Royal Tenenbaum's epitaph: Royal O'Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001) Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship
Vetalia
05-11-2006, 05:13
Hopefully: "Not technically dead, mind uploaded on December 17th, 2073"
Kate Vegas
05-11-2006, 05:27
"When I die bury me deep, lay my bike at my feet. Strap a helmet to my head, I'll keep ridin' BMX when I'm dead."

I stole it off of my favorite T-shirt. :D
Todsboro
05-11-2006, 05:35
Something like this (http://dcpages.com/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=Six_Flags_Fright_Fest&id=DSC02713)...

"I told you I was sick".
IL Ruffino
05-11-2006, 05:36
I won't have a tombstone...

You'll have a pyramid.
Goonswarm
05-11-2006, 05:43
According to the Talmud, when the Messiah comes, the dead will roll underground towards Jerusalem.

That seems kinda undignified. So unless I can be buried in Jerusalem, I will be buried in what amounts to a missile silo. My coffin shall be a fully functional ballistic missile capable of reaching Jerusalem (I'll have to use some advanced technology to get that kind of range on an engine that can be mounted on a coffin). When the Messiah comes, my tomb shall slide open, and I shall fly towards Jerusalem in style.

Until then, here is my epitaph:
Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad
Baruch Shem K'vod Malchuto L'Olam Va'ed
E=mc2

Translation:
Hear O Israel, The Lord Is G-d, The Lord Is One
Blessed Be His Glorious Name, Forever And Ever
Energy Equals Mass Times The Speed Of Light Squared

The first two lines make up the Shema, the Jewish creed, and IMHO the most beautiful prayer in the world (the second line is supposedly angelic in origin). The third line is perhaps the most famous equation in all science.

Kinda sums me up.

This is all academic, as I plan on using a combination of advanced medicine and procrastination to avoid death.
Vetalia
05-11-2006, 05:49
This is all academic, as I plan on using a combination of advanced medicine and procrastination to avoid death.

Yeah, I'm banking on that one combined with a gradual cyborgization of my body as the technology advances. Eventually, once I'm 100% machine I can just be integrated in to the self-aware supercomputer and live for as long as I want in an infinite number of computer generated worlds. Matroishka brain, here I come...

Add in artificial reincarnation, preferably with an occasional choice of worlds and you've got it as good as you possibly could. I wouldn't mind having a few lifetimes in somewhere cool like a Dune universe or one of Isaac Asimov's worlds...
New Xero Seven
05-11-2006, 05:53
You'll have a pyramid.

Or they'll just throw your body into a ditch with a hundred other dead corpses. Sweet and simple!
IL Ruffino
05-11-2006, 05:54
Or they'll just throw your body into a ditch with a hundred other dead corpses. Sweet and simple!

Not with my Smunkee!
New Xero Seven
05-11-2006, 05:55
Not with my Smunkee!

Oh, you can join your Smunkee when you die too. :)
IL Ruffino
05-11-2006, 06:07
Oh, you can join your Smunkee when you die too. :)

*glues self to smunkee*
Vargrstan
05-11-2006, 06:09
*Scratch and Sniff Grave*

*Free Beer to the first one down here!*

"Bite Me, Fan Boys!*
New Xero Seven
05-11-2006, 06:20
*glues self to smunkee*

You're insane.
IL Ruffino
05-11-2006, 06:23
You're insane.

:D
Seangoli
05-11-2006, 06:28
I'm going to have a little pressue sensor by my grave, so that one someone steps on it, a speaker under the ground will make it sound like I'm banging on the coffin, yelling "HELP! WHERE THE HELL AM I?".

That is my dream.

As for my Tombstone:

"You're standing ontop of my carcass, jackass."
WC Imperial Court
05-11-2006, 07:33
What do I want on my tombstone?


Mushrooms and pepperoni, of course :)
OMG! I definitely thought of pizza when I saw this thread, too!

"Here lies Ruffy; Boston still sucks"

That's awesome, Ruffy!


Hmm, I wanna be cremated. Then I guess just my name, date of birth and death. Altho, maybe something like "Her death did not stop the world from spinning. We have no reason to believe it stopped her from spinning, either."
Pledgeria
05-11-2006, 08:03
OMG! I definitely thought of pizza when I saw this thread, too!

I thought of that when I wrote it, too, which is why I worded it carefully.
Maineiacs
05-11-2006, 08:13
"See, I told you I was sick"
Secret aj man
05-11-2006, 08:14
Inspired by:



I just wonder -- what would you like your tombstone/headstone to read? I think I'd like:

bad ass mother fucker...loved his kid's...dont cry cause i had mad fun!
[NS]Fergi America
05-11-2006, 09:56
Dammit, the God Mode was supposed to be ON!!
Or
The Formula was supposed to make me immortal and invincible! Stupid betas...

(As the above indicate, dying isn't in the plan.)
Lunatic Goofballs
05-11-2006, 10:18
"Rez Plz"
Pledgeria
05-11-2006, 10:23
"Rez Plz"

I only rez for gil, but I'll consider one as a favor. ;)
Big Jim P
05-11-2006, 11:21
"The cross, the stake and the garlic didn't work, so we went with this tombstone"
The Friesland colony
05-11-2006, 17:07
Considering the way I plan to die:

"Don't laugh. It could have happened to anyone."
HC Eredivisie
05-11-2006, 17:16
'Don't eat yellow snow'
Jello Biafra
05-11-2006, 17:18
<Your Ad Here>
Myrmidonisia
05-11-2006, 17:19
My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.

You, of all, should know that funerals and the trappings of death aren't for the dead. I would also like to be disposed of in a way so that I can be 're-absorbed', but how do you make sure your survivors feel the same way?
The Vuhifellian States
05-11-2006, 17:23
Fergi America;11904015']Dammit, the God Mode was supposed to be ON!!Or
The Formula was supposed to make me immortal and invincible! Stupid betas...

(As the above indicate, dying isn't in the plan.)

OBLITERATE CITY NOW!!!

(Inside joke for those that play Simcity 4)
Godat
05-11-2006, 17:55
I have a small list for this sorta thing...

"Well, this sucks"
"Future Zombie"
"<= I'm with Stupid"
"Out of Order"
"Red Warrior Needed Food Badly!" (Gauntlet reference for those who don't know)
"If science invents reincarnation, sign me up!"
"Ha ha, I escaped before my nuclear arsenal went off! Suckers!"
Wallonochia
05-11-2006, 18:02
You, of all, should know that funerals and the trappings of death aren't for the dead. I would also like to be disposed of in a way so that I can be 're-absorbed', but how do you make sure your survivors feel the same way?

What I would like is to be cremated and have my ashes spread over Lake Superior so I'll eventually filter down through all of the Great Lakes system. I think my family would see this as a suitably emotional gesture to make for a proper funeral.
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 18:28
"One day, you'll be dead too"
Infinite Revolution
05-11-2006, 18:36
i think i'd want to get scattered somewhere. if people want to put a memorial for me somewhere it'd better be light-hearted and funny and with no religious under-/over-tones.
Kanabia
05-11-2006, 18:46
"Here lies Chris. If not, please notify the undertakers at once."
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 18:47
"Here lies Chris. If not, please notify the undertakers at once."

You really think we'd start digging just to check? :p
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 18:48
You really think we'd start digging just to check? :p
I'd be digging to make goddamn sure he was dead and buried! ;)
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 18:51
What I would like is to be cremated and have my ashes spread over Lake Superior so I'll eventually filter down through all of the Great Lakes system. I think my family would see this as a suitably emotional gesture to make for a proper funeral.
Don't you guys get your drinking water from the Great Lakes? :eek: :p

i think i'd want to get scattered somewhere. if people want to put a memorial for me somewhere it'd better be light-hearted and funny and with no religious under-/over-tones.
Seriously though, I think having your ashes spread somewhere is a great idea. It appeals a lot to me - were it not for two facts:

1) you kinda have to be cremated to have your ashes spread anywhere. Which, well, let's just say I would hate to be cremated. :/

2) as nice as it is for you, it might very well suck big time for your loved ones, because there won't be a place "where you are", where they can come to and pretend to be close to you. Yeah, of course it's stupid, but from my own experience, it's also really important to have, stupid as it is.
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 18:53
I'd be digging to make goddamn sure he was dead and buried! ;)

Well, the only way he can get me to expend any effort on his behalf is by finally continuing the damned dungeon thread. :p
Oeck
05-11-2006, 18:53
"Here lies Chris. If not, please notify the undertakers at once."

You really think we'd start digging just to check? :p

I think the thing is not to notify them if it isn't him; it's more to notify them if he isn't lying the way he's supposed to. As in, "if you notice the grave surface to bulge strangely and/or you hear muffled sounds form underneath, please notify the udnertakers AT ONCE".
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 18:54
As in, "if you notice the grave surface to bulge strangely and/or you hear muffled sounds form underneath, please notify the udnertakers AT ONCE".

Oh, I figure I'd just firmly step on it and stomp down. :)
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 18:54
Seriously though, I think having your ashes spread somewhere is a great idea. It appeals a lot to me - were it not for two facts:

1) you kinda have to be cremated to have your ashes spread anywhere. Which, well, let's just say I would hate to be cremated. :/

2) as nice as it is for you, it might very well suck big time for your loved ones, because there won't be a place "where you are", where they can come to and pretend to be close to you. Yeah, of course it's stupid, but from my own experience, it's also really important to have, stupid as it is.

1. Why?

2. You could have your ashes spread at a certain place, perhaps one that means a lot to you. Then your family could go to that place to remember you. You might not actually be there in the flesh, as it were, but it'd be a link to you for your family.
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 18:56
Well, the only way he can get me to expend any effort on his behalf is by finally continuing the damned dungeon thread. :p

Oooh, scathing. :p
Kanabia
05-11-2006, 18:59
Well, the only way he can get me to expend any effort on his behalf is by finally continuing the damned dungeon thread. :p

What a coincidence, I was just about to post it again after finishing off the remaining replies and expanding the ones i'd already done (after I stupidly forgot to save it last night :rolleyes:)....well, that's another day it can wait....

You'll learn eventually. ;)
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:02
1. Why?

2. You could have your ashes spread at a certain place, perhaps one that means a lot to you. Then your family could go to that place to remember you. You might not actually be there in the flesh, as it were, but it'd be a link to you for your family.

1. Because burning is about the most horrible thing I can imagine.
So what if I'm already dead when it happens? I never claimed it made sense. :p

2. Yeah, I just thought of that, too. :)
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:03
What a coincidence, I was just about to post it again after finishing off the remaining replies and expanding the ones i'd already done (after I stupidly forgot to save it last night :rolleyes:)....well, that's another day it can wait....

You'll learn eventually. ;)
Oh, shut up and stop using me as a convenient excuse to cover for your laziness, ye old procrastinator! :p
Kanabia
05-11-2006, 19:04
Oh, shut up and stop using me as a convenient excuse to cover for your laziness, ye old procrastinator! :p

Actually, I have done it. But you can wait a few more hours because i'm going to bed anyway just to spite you. :)
Oeck
05-11-2006, 19:07
Oh, I figure I'd just firmly step on it and stomp down. :)

Unterlassene Hilfeleistung! In fact, Aktive Hilfsverweigerung!
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 19:08
What a coincidence, I was just about to post it again after finishing off the remaining replies and expanding the ones i'd already done (after I stupidly forgot to save it last night :rolleyes:)....well, that's another day it can wait....

You'll learn eventually. ;)
Can't you just post answers to everyone but WYTYG? Please? I was just joking about making sure you were dead. Honest. :)
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:09
Can't you just post answers to everyone but WYTYG? Please? I was just joking about making sure you were dead. Honest. :)

:eek:

Two-faced weasel! :mad:

That's what it will say on your tombstone. "Here lies I V Stalin, two-faced weasel. Good riddance." :p
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 19:11
:eek:

Two-faced weasel! :mad:

That's what it will say on yout tombstone. "Here lies I V Stalin, two-faced weasel. Good riddance."
If it says "Here lies I V Stalin" on my tombstone, I think there will be an awful lot of confusion...
Wallonochia
05-11-2006, 19:12
Don't you guys get your drinking water from the Great Lakes? :eek: :p

That's half the fun!
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:12
If it says "Here lies I V Stalin" on my tombstone, I think there will be an awful lot of confusion...

Oh, I'll make sure everybody will know who it is. :mad: :p
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:13
That's half the fun!

>.<
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 19:15
Oh, I'll make sure everybody will know who it is. :mad: :p
That's very kind of you. :)

Oh, wait, you didn't mean that in a good way, did you? :p

Anyway, my idea was a very good compromise - it's your fault Kanabia's not going to post anything in that thread until tomorrow, so you should be the one to suffer. Besides, you might get some good ideas from his responses to everyone else. Or something. I dunno.
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:18
Anyway, my idea was a very good compromise - it's your fault Kanabia's not going to post anything in that thread until tomorrow, so you should be the one to suffer. Besides, you might get some good ideas from his responses to everyone else. Or something. I dunno.
It's not my fault!

He's just being a brat! Why else would he even think of not posting anything ostensibly just because someone says he should post something already?
I V Stalin
05-11-2006, 19:21
It's not my fault!

He's just being a brat! Why else would he even think of not posting anything ostensibly just because someone says he should post something already?
He's Australian.

I V Stalin, King of the non sequitur
Whereyouthinkyougoing
05-11-2006, 19:24
He's Australian.

I V Stalin, King of the non sequitur
That must be it. *nod nod*

*curtsies*
Oeck
05-11-2006, 19:27
Why else would he even think of not posting anything ostensibly just because someone says he should post something already?

I think he called it teaching. *nods*
Infinite Revolution
05-11-2006, 19:42
Don't you guys get your drinking water from the Great Lakes? :eek: :p


Seriously though, I think having your ashes spread somewhere is a great idea. It appeals a lot to me - were it not for two facts:

1) you kinda have to be cremated to have your ashes spread anywhere. Which, well, let's just say I would hate to be cremated. :/

2) as nice as it is for you, it might very well suck big time for your loved ones, because there won't be a place "where you are", where they can come to and pretend to be close to you. Yeah, of course it's stupid, but from my own experience, it's also really important to have, stupid as it is.

well, before i was cremated i'd want to be injected with something to make sure i didn't wake up incase i wasn't dead yet.

my friend's gran was cremated and scattered over a rose garden. i think that was nice. personally i think i'd want to be scattered on the beach at home in jersey or wherever i'm living when i die, aslong as i'm near a beach.
Jello Biafra
05-11-2006, 20:25
Don't you guys get your drinking water from the Great Lakes? :eek: :pMy friend has said that he wants to be cremated and have his ashes served in the food to the guests at his wake. I'm not sure if he was kidding or not...
Wallonochia
05-11-2006, 20:31
>.<

Unfortunately it wouldn't be very likely that someone would drink any appreciable portion of my remains because the lakes are kinda big.

Today, 20 percent of the world’s fresh surface water is contained in the five great lakes: 5,473 cubic miles (22,812 km³), or 6 quadrillion gallons (22.81 quadrillion litres) in all.
Desperate Measures
05-11-2006, 20:34
I'm too lazy to check to see if this were already posted:
http://www.jjchandler.com/tombstone/
Shikishima
05-11-2006, 22:57
After thought was given, if I was to have a marker (which I won't but if I WAS..!), I'd have to go with the "Ren Höek Special":

"I'll thank you not to drag your butt across my grave."
Bumboat
06-11-2006, 00:09
She's dead Jim! :D
Bitchkitten
06-11-2006, 00:20
Tombstone's a waste of money. Just donate my body to science and let it go at that.
Shikishima
06-11-2006, 00:37
Which science? May we choose?
Pledgeria
06-11-2006, 00:40
Tombstone's a waste of money. Just donate my body to science and let it go at that.
Then what shall I write on your forehead while I'm dissecting you in my gross anatomy class? :)
Montacanos
06-11-2006, 00:43
"Want to know what happened to me? Then look behind you!"



































"Sucker."

It's an awfully large headstone. So i'll have to construct it out of recycled paper mache to save money.
Bitchkitten
06-11-2006, 00:49
Which science? May we choose?

Absolutely. Why would I care at that time? Give a few suggestions, it'd be fun to know ahead of time.
Bitchkitten
06-11-2006, 00:50
Then what shall I write on your forehead while I'm dissecting you in my gross anatomy class? :)Pledgeria was here.
Shikishima
06-11-2006, 00:56
Absolutely. Why would I care at that time? Give a few suggestions, it'd be fun to know ahead of time.

Reanimation Studies? Android Development? Biotechnology?
Pledgeria
06-11-2006, 01:04
Pledgeria was here.

A poem for Bitchkitten's forehead:

Pledgeria was here,
But now he's gone.
He left his name
To carry on.
Those who knew him,
Knew him well.
Those who didn't
Can go to --

(sorry, ran outta room) :) Then when Shikishima turns you into Robocop, we can cover it with the helmet.
Vacuumhead
06-11-2006, 01:06
I'm not bothered about what happens to my body once I'm dead (other than donating my organs).

Ground me up into dogfood for all I care. :)
Secret aj man
06-11-2006, 01:11
Inspired by:



I just wonder -- what would you like your tombstone/headstone to read? I think I'd like:

interesting post/thread

hmmm

i really have no clue.i do know my funeral will be packed and one hell of a party...ooh rah

as much as people misunderstand me here,in rl everyone likes me,as i am pretty fair and honest.

maybe my tombstone(not the zani i just took..lol)will read...

here lies a really decent fellow...sucks you never met him...

or

here lies a dead guy you should have gotten to know,always missunderstood,always loyal...would have liked to have known you.
Pledgeria
06-11-2006, 01:15
interesting post/thread

hmmm

i really have no clue.i do know my funeral will be packed and one hell of a party...ooh rah
Thank you. But oh, believe me... we'll party when you're gone!!! ;)

as much as people misunderstand me here,in rl everyone likes me,as i am pretty fair and honest.

maybe my tombstone(not the zani i just took..lol)will read...

here lies a really decent fellow...sucks you never met him...

or

here lies a dead guy you should have gotten to know,always missunderstood,always loyal...would have liked to have known you.
Sounds good to me.
Secret aj man
06-11-2006, 01:19
Thank you. But oh, believe me... we'll party when you're gone!!! ;)


Sounds good to me.

wise ass...gotta love you for that!

i am pretty sure there will be tears of sorrow,and tears of joy when i exit.
i am pretty sure some will say..wtf took so long...someone should have killed his dumbass years ago.:fluffle:

actually...that would be a pretty good r.i.p. on a tombstone...

and i do need to think about this shit,as i am old,and my kids..lol...are kids.
you got me thinking you bastard.

now i got to plan my funeral,write a will....you just made me old you prick!or pricklet!

until now i was stumbling and bumbling thru life....every now and then..my college age daughter would tell me.."when the hell are you gonna grow up dad"
you party more then i do.
you embarress me...
my friends dads are responsible and rich.
quit staring at my friends...lol..j/k
i love you dad..but your pretty bad and irresponsible.
why dont you go with your friends in florida and get rich...and give me more money?

mostly joking here,but you got me thinking,i have no idea how old you are...but i am 46 and i got untreated cancer...as i have no insurance...bummer...

so now i got to think about the end...i should bring you to a party..lol..your so uplifting.

my son is in the army...and he loves me..we get mad out of control playing horseshoes/bocci/air hockey/football...
but like my girl..he tells me to grow up as well...

I REFUSE TO GROW UP!

NEVER

that could go on my tombstaone also....

i am gonna need a big ass tombstone.

peace
Dosuun
06-11-2006, 01:25
I am dead. I died in bed.
Pledgeria
06-11-2006, 01:26
wise ass...gotta love you for that!

i am pretty sure there will be tears of sorrow,and tears of joy when i exit.
i am pretty sure some will say..wtf took so long...someone should have killed his dumbass years ago.:fluffle:

Back when I still smoked, I was outside a Starbucks with a newspaper, coffee, and a smoke -- way away from anyone else and downwind at that. This lady comes over, about 30ft out of her way, to tell me "you know those things'll kill you." In my best deadpan I replied, "No, my driving will kill me long before that."

So, "let this be a lesson to you all" seems to apply to both. :D
IL Ruffino
06-11-2006, 01:27
I am dead. I died in bed.

Whan a chainsaw fell on my head.
Der Eindringling
06-11-2006, 01:31
Here Lies Nate: Died Tragically While Saving His Family From a Sinking Battleship
Kedalfax
06-11-2006, 01:32
"AAAAH! GET OFF OF ME!"

"They loved me or hated me. Or thought I was okay."

"Never sniff Coca-Cola"

"My embalming fluid is beer"

"This is why you should get your brakes checked"

"Never listen to country music in Compton"

"Here lies __, inventor of the lead zeppelin"

"It's just a scratch!"

"Red wire to blue wire, right?"

"Exhume at your own risk"
King Arthur the Great
06-11-2006, 01:47
"Here Lies [MY NAME], (yes, in caps) The Man That Stopped Il Ruffino."

There will also be some inscription about how I died years later in battle with some other person, but I won since I died when I was on my feet.
IL Ruffino
06-11-2006, 01:56
"Here Lies [MY NAME], (yes, in caps) The Man That Stopped Il Ruffino."

There will also be some inscription about how I died years later in battle with some other person, but I won since I died when I was on my feet.

"Fighting for the orphaned children of Il Ruffino, Ruffy was shot at point blank by a man crazed with envy-- For the children, and their happiness, God save Rufferto!"

EDIT: We know how to spin things to our advantage, here in Ruffyland. ;)
King Arthur the Great
06-11-2006, 02:00
"Stopped from maintaining the oppression of the orphaned children of Il Ruffino, Ruffy was shot at point blank by a man driven by justice-- For the children, and their happiness, God damn Rufferto!"

EDIT: We know how to spin things to our advantage, here in Ruffyland. ;)

Edited for accuracy!!
Isselmere
06-11-2006, 02:00
"Well, that's over with"

or

"Whaddya mean, that gate was only meant for me?"*

[* Unfunny reference to F. Kafka's Parable of the Law.]
IL Ruffino
06-11-2006, 02:04
Edited for accuracy!!

Mwahaha!

No one will ever know I was trying to blow up your oil reserves!
King Arthur the Great
06-11-2006, 02:09
Sheesh Ruffy, it's in good fun. Man, a superhero can't make any comment these days about his planned exploits of stopping pure evil.
IL Ruffino
06-11-2006, 02:11
Sheesh Ruffy, it's in good fun. Man, a superhero can't make any comment these days about his planned exploits of stopping pure evil.

I blame the media.
Secret aj man
06-11-2006, 02:28
Mwahaha!

No one will ever know I was trying to blow up your oil reserves!

he said:p blow.....hehehehee....beevis and buthead ref...j/k
Wanderjar
06-11-2006, 04:15
I want mine to be a giant statue of a man clad in Giant Artificer Armor, holding before him a mighty sword and a crown of spikes upon his head. I want it to state: "To The Glory of Chaos!"


(Yes, that is a Warhammer joke.)



Seriously though, I don't plan to die.....ever.
Pledgeria
06-11-2006, 04:17
LOL, I seriously thought you were going to say ALL YOUR GRAVE ARE BELONG TO US or something. :)
Wanderjar
06-11-2006, 04:19
LOL, I seriously thought you were going to say ALL YOUR GRAVE ARE BELONG TO US or something. :)

:D


Nope, I love Warhammer too much.
Wallonochia
06-11-2006, 05:55
Seriously though, I don't plan to die.....ever.

I think Ol' Grandpappy Nurgle may be able to help with that.....
OcceanDrive
06-11-2006, 06:00
My remains will be disposed of in such a manner as to be made available to re-absorption into the cycle as quickly as possible, so there will be no urns or other such nonsense.Yeah.. I saw that @ Waterworld..
Vargrstan
06-11-2006, 06:21
Seriously though, I don't plan to die.....ever.

Other then the suicidal and the very old, I don't think anyone PLANS to die. Though, my daughter did make me promise to never die....
New Dracora
06-11-2006, 07:08
"If you notice this notice, you'll notice this notice, is not worth noticing. So don't notice it."

:rolleyes:
Harlesburg
06-11-2006, 07:56
I want to be made into Harlesburg Flambe.
No Tombstone required.
Delator
06-11-2006, 08:07
Well, there are two options here.

1. If I somehow manage to make it to age 100 (unlikely, given my current habits :p ), then I plan to jump out of an airplane with no parachute. My last few moments will be a BLAST, damnit!

This will be done over water, so as to minimize the chance of doing damage to life or property. Whatever is left of my corpse will be eaten shortly thereafter, I am sure.

2. If I die before then, I will request that my body be left somewhere in the Rocky Mountains for animals to fight over...if this is not possible, then cremation, the ashes spread in the Dolomite Mts. in Italy.

Yes...I've thought this through. :p
Desperate Measures
06-11-2006, 08:08
"I am beneath you."