NationStates Jolt Archive

I swear scholarship application essay questions get dumber and dumber by the seconds. It's like they're begging for the applicants to bullshit corny stuff about themselves. Seriously, listen to these essay topics:

1) Describe what you consider to be your most significant contribution to date and its value your school or your community. Why is it important to you and others?

2) Describe a time when you challenged yourself by taking on a task/project for which successful outcome was uncertain. What setbacks did you encounter? How did you deal with it?

3) Describe an important initiative you undertook or an activity in which you held a leadership position. What have you learned from your successes or failures as a leader and how have you applied these lessons?

:headbang:

In the amount of time I took to type all of this up, I could've bullshitted an essay already, if I knew what to bullshit. And the applications must be done by tomorrow. *kills self*

I swear scholarship application essay questions get dumber and dumber by the seconds. It's like they're begging for the applicants to bullshit corny stuff about themselves. Seriously, listen to these essay topics:

1) Describe what you consider to be your most significant contribution to date and its value your school or your community. Why is it important to you and others?

2) Describe a time when you challenged yourself by taking on a task/project for which successful outcome was uncertain. What setbacks did you encounter? How did you deal with it?

3) Describe an important initiative you undertook or an activity in which you held a leadership position. What have you learned from your successes or failures as a leader and how have you applied these lessons?

:headbang:

In the amount of time I took to type all of this up, I could've bullshitted an essay already, if I knew what to bullshit. And the applications must be done by tomorrow. *kills self*
I only got $200 in scholarships. Co-opt and Alberta Oil will lessen my finacial ruin.

It’s times like these that I am incredibly grateful that my father is loaded and that my brother is a useless community college bound bum.

I swear scholarship application essay questions get dumber and dumber by the seconds. It's like they're begging for the applicants to bullshit corny stuff about themselves. Seriously, listen to these essay topics:
May I offer some suggestions? Just off the top of my head:

1) Describe what you consider to be your most significant contribution to date and its value your school or your community.
There is a gold statue of General Sherman on horseback in front of the Plaza Hotel in New York City. Every few months, during the night, I paint the horse's very large balls bright red. This has a noticeable affect on my fellow New Yorkers, judging by their faces as they walk past it.

Why is it important to you
Because I did it.

and others?
I've never asked them.

2) Describe a time when you challenged yourself by taking on a task/project for which successful outcome was uncertain.
I bet $5000 on a 75-1 shot at Belmont.

What setbacks did you encounter?
My horse lost.

How did you deal with it?
I shot myself.

3) Describe an important initiative you undertook or an activity in which you held a leadership position.
I once organized a major bank robbery with a gang of five accomplices.

What have you learned from your successes or failures as a leader and how have you applied these lessons?
I learned that one should never screw one's gang if one wants loyalty when the cops come round, and that a good fence is indispensible to making sure the money is still there when you get out of jail, which will be just past the expiration of the statute of limitations.

Hope those help. :)

I only got $200 in scholarships. Co-opt and Alberta Oil will lessen my finacial ruin.
At least you got something. I'm beginning to be VERY afraid of getting nothing at all, because EVERYBODY seems to be doing better than I am, while I'm procrastinating by ranting on NS!
It’s times like these that I am incredibly grateful that my father is loaded and that my brother is a useless community college bound bum.
Lucky bastards...the rest of us have to rack up huge debts and attempt to pay them off somehow.

Yes! Bullshit! But....So?
Think of it: If you can write a good essay with such stupid topics, Don't you think it would help you later when you write something that interests you?
It's just a practice drill, that's all.
Write fact! Write fiction. Write crap! But keep writing. Get ALL you can out of your scholarship.
Git-R-Done!!! ;)

At least you got something. I'm beginning to be VERY afraid of getting nothing at all, because EVERYBODY seems to be doing better than I am, while I'm procrastinating by ranting on NS!

A did the same and applied for about ten scholarships that did not need essays and such.

1) Describe what you consider to be your most significant contribution to date and its value your school or your community. Why is it important to you and others?

Among the many things that I do, I consider my most significant contribution to my community and myself is my personality. Many times I find that people turn to me for support and a good time. I am also good in bed.
2) Describe a time when you challenged yourself by taking on a task/project for which successful outcome was uncertain. What setbacks did you encounter? How did you deal with it?

Back in June I had met this girl who would flirt with me and call me on the phone. We got pretty serious.. that is, until she cheated on me with my best friend. She wanted to break up and just be friends.

I couldn't let that happen. I started planning about how I would get her back. Going from idea to idea, I finally settled on taking her by force.

The night I was planning on getting her, she was with her boyfriend. I kept thinking "How am I going to get past him?" Well I thought about the pros and cons about what could happen..

I decided to kill him, then take her to my home in the woods. I broke into the house while they were sleeping in the living room. I shot him, six times to be exact. I thought "To die in a living room, how ironic!"

Blood had splattered all over her. She woke up and seemed frightened. I fast drugged her and took her home.

She lived in the basement until I found her one day, dead, under the stairs. Oops, I forgot to feed her!

Well I'm over her, and now I wish to further my education at your fine school!
3) Describe an important initiative you undertook or an activity in which you held a leadership position. What have you learned from your successes or failures as a leader and how have you applied these lessons?

See above.

May I offer some suggestions? Just off the top of my head:

There is a gold statue of General Sherman on horseback in front of the Plaza Hotel in New York City. Every few months, during the night, I paint the horse's very large balls bright red. This has a noticeable affect on my fellow New Yorkers, judging by their faces as they walk past it.

Because I did it.

I've never asked them.

I bet $5000 on a 75-1 shot at Belmont.

My horse lost.

I shot myself.

I once organized a major bank robbery with a gang of five accomplices.

I learned that one should never screw one's gang if one wants loyalty when the cops come round, and that a good fence is indispensible to making sure the money is still there when you get out of jail, which will be just past the expiration of the statute of limitations.

Hope those help. :)
They did. A lot. Thank you very much. :)
Yes! Bullshit! But....So?
Think of it: If you can write a good essay with such stupid topics, Don't you think it would help you later when you write something that interests you?
It's just a practice drill, that's all.
Write fact! Write fiction. Write crap! But keep writing. Get ALL you can out of your scholarship.
Git-R-Done!!! ;)
It's times like these when I'm glad I actually have better-than-average language skills so I can make my bullshititng more believable with flourishing language.

*can't stop procrastinating anyway*

Back in June I had met this girl who would flirt with me and call me on the phone. We got pretty serious.. that is, until she cheated on me with my best friend. She wanted to break up and just be friends.

I couldn't let that happen. I started planning about how I would get her back. Going from idea to idea, I finally settled on taking her by force.

The night I was planning on getting her, she was with her boyfriend. I kept thinking "How am I going to get past him?" Well I thought about the pros and cons about what could happen..

I decided to kill him, then take her to my home in the woods. I broke into the house while they were sleeping in the living room. I shot him, six times to be exact. I thought "To die in a living room, how ironic!"

Blood had splattered all over her. She woke up and seemed frightened. I fast drugged her and took her home.

She lived in the basement until I found her one day, dead, under the stairs. Oops, I forgot to feed her!

Well I'm over her, and now I wish to further my education at your fine school!

That has to be one of the funniest things you have posted.

Among the many things that I do, I consider my most significant contribution to my community and myself is my personality. Many times I find that people turn to me for support and a good time. I am also good in bed.

Back in June I had met this girl who would flirt with me and call me on the phone. We got pretty serious.. that is, until she cheated on me with my best friend. She wanted to break up and just be friends.

I couldn't let that happen. I started planning about how I would get her back. Going from idea to idea, I finally settled on taking her by force.

The night I was planning on getting her, she was with her boyfriend. I kept thinking "How am I going to get past him?" Well I thought about the pros and cons about what could happen..

I decided to kill him, then take her to my home in the woods. I broke into the house while they were sleeping in the living room. I shot him, six times to be exact. I thought "To die in a living room, how ironic!"

Blood had splattered all over her. She woke up and seemed frightened. I fast drugged her and took her home.

She lived in the basement until I found her one day, dead, under the stairs. Oops, I forgot to feed her!

Well I'm over her, and now I wish to further my education at your fine school!

See above.
You're a disturbed DISTURBED little boy.

That has to be one of the funniest things you have posted.
I do agree.
You're a disturbed DISTURBED little boy.

*sniffs your hair*

Among the many things that I do, I consider my most significant contribution to my community and myself is my personality. Many times I find that people turn to me for support and a good time. I am also good in bed.


Back in June I had met this girl who would flirt with me and call me on the phone. We got pretty serious.. that is, until she cheated on me with my best friend. She wanted to break up and just be friends.

I couldn't let that happen. I started planning about how I would get her back. Going from idea to idea, I finally settled on taking her by force.

The night I was planning on getting her, she was with her boyfriend. I kept thinking "How am I going to get past him?" Well I thought about the pros and cons about what could happen..

I decided to kill him, then take her to my home in the woods. I broke into the house while they were sleeping in the living room. I shot him, six times to be exact. I thought "To die in a living room, how ironic!"

Blood had splattered all over her. She woke up and seemed frightened. I fast drugged her and took her home.

She lived in the basement until I found her one day, dead, under the stairs. Oops, I forgot to feed her!

Well I'm over her, and now I wish to further my education at your fine school!


See above.

I love you. :fluffle:

Start the essay with something really snappy like

"This one time, in band camp..."

Start the essay with something really snappy like

"This one time, in band camp..."

In Soviet Russia, time band camps you!

In Soviet Russia, time band camps you!

As a great philosopher once said

"Im not saying you should do drugs, but if you DO do drugs and you are already high you should put them away because you wont get any higher and your drug supply will get lower."

I swear scholarship application essay questions get dumber and dumber by the seconds. It's like they're begging for the applicants to bullshit corny stuff about themselves. Seriously, listen to these essay topics:

1) Describe what you consider to be your most significant contribution to date and its value your school or your community. Why is it important to you and others?

2) Describe a time when you challenged yourself by taking on a task/project for which successful outcome was uncertain. What setbacks did you encounter? How did you deal with it?

3) Describe an important initiative you undertook or an activity in which you held a leadership position. What have you learned from your successes or failures as a leader and how have you applied these lessons?

:headbang:

In the amount of time I took to type all of this up, I could've bullshitted an essay already, if I knew what to bullshit. And the applications must be done by tomorrow. *kills self*

Those questions are just like the ones I saw on job application forms. This was not just for graduate jobs etc but for shelf stacking at the local supermarket. I agree they are a load of bullshit and make me want to :headbang: . lame it on the recruiter/human resources department as they are the ones who put the forms together. Everyone else hates the damn things.

As a great philosopher once said

"Im not saying you should do drugs, but if you DO do drugs and you are already high you should put them away because you wont get any higher and your drug supply will get lower."

This is very sage advice. Who said it, may I ask?

This is very sage advice. Who said it, may I ask?

Dom Imus

Dom Imus

Never heard of him, Wiki to the rescue!

Never heard of him, Wiki to the rescue!

Maybe an idea for a Marvel comic. 'Wickerman'

Maybe an idea for a Marvel comic. 'Wickerman'

What powers would he have?

What powers would he have?
Swallowing people alive and then setting himself on fire.

I swear scholarship application essay questions get dumber and dumber by the seconds. It's like they're begging for the applicants to bullshit corny stuff about themselves.

In the amount of time I took to type all of this up, I could've bullshitted an essay already, if I knew what to bullshit. And the applications must be done by tomorrow. *kills self*

I'm afraid I'm not in the mood to be nearly as inventive as others already have been. I was once in the same position as you are though. Stupid BS essays due to be mailed overnight the next day, nothing to say. The worst of them was "Name and describe three character traits you think illustrate who you are" or some such nonsense. I was at such a loss that I asked my mom, my best friend and my little sister. My essay started something like this:

"I am not particuarly good at writing stupid essays like this one, and I am even worse at limiting my person to three traits. Because of this, I asked my family and friends to assist me with this task. Their three traits to describe me were that I am cynical, obnoxious and vicious. Fortunately for them, I have a sense of humor. ..."

I got everything I was applying for, along with compliments on my essays.

Swallowing people alive and then setting himself on fire.

I was thinking the exact same thing.

2) Describe a time when you challenged yourself by taking on a task/project for which successful outcome was uncertain. What setbacks did you encounter? How did you deal with it?

answer: never, every challange i have undertaken has succeded there has never been any doubt.

Among the many things that I do, I consider my most significant contribution to my community and myself is my personality. Many times I find that people turn to me for support and a good time. I am also good in bed.


Back in June I had met this girl who would flirt with me and call me on the phone. We got pretty serious.. that is, until she cheated on me with my best friend. She wanted to break up and just be friends.

I couldn't let that happen. I started planning about how I would get her back. Going from idea to idea, I finally settled on taking her by force.

The night I was planning on getting her, she was with her boyfriend. I kept thinking "How am I going to get past him?" Well I thought about the pros and cons about what could happen..

I decided to kill him, then take her to my home in the woods. I broke into the house while they were sleeping in the living room. I shot him, six times to be exact. I thought "To die in a living room, how ironic!"

Blood had splattered all over her. She woke up and seemed frightened. I fast drugged her and took her home.

She lived in the basement until I found her one day, dead, under the stairs. Oops, I forgot to feed her!

Well I'm over her, and now I wish to further my education at your fine school!


See above.
funny!:p