NationStates Jolt Archive

I just got back from a very long night in the hospital with my wife.

Let me tell you that false alarms are nothing like they are on sitcoms. They're a pain in the ass. After all that bullshit, you just want them to get the kids out with the jaws of life. :p

But I guess they like it in there. *sigh*

Tell her to drive herself to the Hospital next time.

Tell her to drive herself to the Hospital next time.

She's been poked and prodded all night. You tell her. I'll back you up from beneath the couch. ;)

You should have tickled the baby until it wriggled out itself!

I just got back from a very long night in the hospital with my wife.

Let me tell you that false alarms are nothing like they are on sitcoms. They're a pain in the ass. After all that bullshit, you just want them to get the kids out with the jaws of life. :p

But I guess they like it in there. *sigh*
You won't care about these false alarms when you've got a little Goofball running around pooping everywhere and throwing up on your best suit. ;)

You won't care about these false alarms when you've got a little Goofball running around pooping everywhere and throwing up on your best suit. ;)

First of all, I already got a little goofball doing that.

Second of all, my best suit is my birthday suit and it's really easy to clean. :)

You should have tickled the baby until it wriggled out itself!

*smacks forehead* Of course!

*smacks forehead* Of course!
It's that kind of training that modern midwives have sadly forgotten... *sighs*

First of all, I already got a little goofball doing that.

Second of all, my best suit is my birthday suit and it's really easy to clean. :)
You'll have another one, then. More poop! :p

She's been poked and prodded all night. You tell her. I'll back you up from beneath the couch. ;)
Better get Monkeypimp to do ityou have more of a reporte with him.

I was actually editing my post( the page is still trying :p )
This is what i was trying to say...
But I guess they like it in there. *sigh*
And don't tell me you don't like it in there! ;)
*flees*

You'll have another one, then. More poop! :p

Two more. We're gonna have twins. :eek:

Two more. We're gonna have twins. :eek:
Oh noes!

Oh noes!

Oh, yes.

Sleep is overrated anyway. ;)

Two more. We're gonna have twins. :eek:

Two more goofballs?! This alarm must've been more than a rush to the hospital, I bet there were soldiers running around everywhere and sirens going off.

Two more. We're gonna have twins. :eek:

oh i just go place your name down for a padded room for when you nuts

Oh, yes.

Sleep is overrated anyway. ;)
Not as bad as a family friend who wanted to have two children but ended up with five.

First set - unexpectedly twins, both girls, and they thought that maybe they should have a brother.

Second set - stunningly, triplets, two girls and a boy.

They must have been totally gutted with that result.

Not as bad as a family friend who wanted to have two children but ended up with five.

First set - unexpectedly twins, both girls, and they thought that maybe they should have a brother.

Second set - stunningly, triplets, two girls and a boy.

They must have been totally gutted with that result.

poor boy out numbered by girls

poor boy out numbered by girls
Correct. When he was about five, they all used to paint his face etc. and giggle at him. He was pretty gutted.

Correct. When he was about five, they all used to paint his face etc. and giggle at him. He was pretty gutted.

i feel sorry for him
iam not out numbered by girls iam just out nimber by teenagers and going nuts thinks to them

Two more goofballs?! This alarm must've been more than a rush to the hospital, I bet there were soldiers running around everywhere and sirens going off.

In a bunker somewhere, world leaders still cower. :)

oh i just go place your name down for a padded room for when you nuts

Can crazy people go crazier?

Are there levels of crazy like that weird Dragonball guy with the african headdress for hair?

Can crazy people go crazier?

Are there levels of crazy like that weird Dragonball guy with the african headdress for hair?

i let you know if iam not in a jacket and padded room myself

Two more. We're gonna have twins. :eek:

Something tells me this world is going to be a better place pretty damn soon!

Something tells me this world is going to be a better place pretty damn soon!

Weirder, but better. :)

Weirder, but better. :)

Weirder quite often means better :D

I just got back from a very long night in the hospital with my wife.

Let me tell you that false alarms are nothing like they are on sitcoms. They're a pain in the ass. After all that bullshit, you just want them to get the kids out with the jaws of life. :p

But I guess they like it in there. *sigh*

your wife has my sympathy, I was also poked and prodded during my first pregnancy, kept going into false labor (which is what the evil doctors call it when you have actual real life contractions that hurt like a SOB, but you aren't "progressing" fast enough, impatient jerks........oh, and then they start talking about all the scary stuff "maybe we can scrape her cervix and stick a hook in there and puncture the sac and ...." it's terrible)

oh, yeah, let her rest, bring her food, and keep Lg (little goofball) away from her if she seems cranky, or you know you two could put on a silly show for her too....I bet she would like that, once she has some uninterrupted sleep. ;)

I just got back from a very long night in the hospital with my wife.

Let me tell you that false alarms are nothing like they are on sitcoms. They're a pain in the ass. After all that bullshit, you just want them to get the kids out with the jaws of life. :p

But I guess they like it in there. *sigh*

Dont be too anxious to get that lil mischiefmaker out of the oven. It sounds very much like you will have a mini-LG once the bundle of love pops out and after you have a mini-LG free to roam.......well .......wild goose chases to the hospital may seem restful in comparison.:D

Hmmm, false alarm eh? I get the feeling LG's progeny are just waiting for the right moment to spring on him where he'll be all tired out and unable to defend against their first crushing blow to daddy's coconuts. :p

gettin close to the due date I take it?

When my good family friends were going to have twins, the mother was so large that she used her stomach as a table. She would put a doliy down, then put a bowl of peanuts on it. Quite amusing.

Sex those babies out!

Phil and Lil will pop right out.

So, have you decided an names yet?

So, have you decided an names yet?
Monkeypimp and Placenta.

your wife has my sympathy, I was also poked and prodded during my first pregnancy, kept going into false labor (which is what the evil doctors call it when you have actual real life contractions that hurt like a SOB, but you aren't "progressing" fast enough, impatient jerks........oh, and then they start talking about all the scary stuff "maybe we can scrape her cervix and stick a hook in there and puncture the sac and ...." it's terrible)

oh, yeah, let her rest, bring her food, and keep Lg (little goofball) away from her if she seems cranky, or you know you two could put on a silly show for her too....I bet she would like that, once she has some uninterrupted sleep. ;)
Scrap the cervix aye?
Yum.
Sex those babies out!

Phil and Lil will pop right out.
Pedo!

Monkeypimp and Placenta.

"Now Monkeypimp, on this play you have to burst though the Placenta"

Pedo!

I didn't mean it like that!

I didn't mean it like that!

Prove it!

I didn't mean it like that!
Hey i remember your wanting to probe Posi's and other peoples bottoms in that other thread!

Prove it!

What Gets the Baby In, Gets the Baby Out

Sex is the most well-known and the oldest trick to begin labor. Semen has natural prostaglandins—a hormone involved in the start of labor. If you use this technique, don’t get up right away and elevate your hips to help the semen stay on the cervix. However, in late pregnancy, many women are not in the mood for intercourse. Simple loving activities that are part of your normal foreplay can help too. Female orgasm has been known to open the cervix up to 2 centimeters. Finally, and most important, sex or sexual activities are very relaxing and can make you forget you’re trying to start labor.

http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Natural_Ways_to_Induce_Labor#What_Gets_the_Baby_In.2C_Gets_the_Baby_Out
Hey i remember your wanting to probe Posi's and other peoples bottoms in that other thread!

What?!

What Gets the Baby In, Gets the Baby Out

Sex is the most well-known and the oldest trick to begin labor. Semen has natural prostaglandins—a hormone involved in the start of labor. If you use this technique, don’t get up right away and elevate your hips to help the semen stay on the cervix. However, in late pregnancy, many women are not in the mood for intercourse. Simple loving activities that are part of your normal foreplay can help too. Female orgasm has been known to open the cervix up to 2 centimeters. Finally, and most important, sex or sexual activities are very relaxing and can make you forget you’re trying to start labor.

http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Natural_Ways_to_Induce_Labor#What_Gets_the_Baby_In.2C_Gets_the_Baby_Out
You are only compounding your pedophillic image!

What?!
I ain't gonna find it.

You are only compounding your pedophillic image!


I ain't gonna find it.

ALL LIES!

What Gets the Baby In, Gets the Baby Out

Sex is the most well-known and the oldest trick to begin labor. Semen has natural prostaglandins—a hormone involved in the start of labor. If you use this technique, don’t get up right away and elevate your hips to help the semen stay on the cervix. However, in late pregnancy, many women are not in the mood for intercourse. Simple loving activities that are part of your normal foreplay can help too. Female orgasm has been known to open the cervix up to 2 centimeters. Finally, and most important, sex or sexual activities are very relaxing and can make you forget you’re trying to start labor.

http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Natural_Ways_to_Induce_Labor#What_Gets_the_Baby_In.2C_Gets_the_Baby_Out
Good thing I wasn't looking at porn. You would have killed the moment.


What?!
Seconded.

I ain't gonna find it.

Methink your lieing.

Congratulations!! I am so happy my brother and sister-in-law are the ones in my family about to have a baby. I get all the instant gratifications of a cute little brat to spoil rotten, with none of the stress or responsibilities!

Weirder quite often means better :D
Here Here!
Sex those babies out!

Phil and Lil will pop right out.

LMAO. That is awesome, Ruffy.

LMAO. That is awesome, Ruffy.

:D

You know, I'm actually afraid that if LG and the ma'am with the cuffs go at it, she'll get pregnant while she's pregnant.

And who cares about logic, it's LG, the Power Balls.

:D

You know, I'm actually afraid that if LG and the ma'am with the cuffs go at it, she'll get pregnant while she's pregnant.

And who cares about logic, it's LG, the Power Balls.

LoL, in this case it isn't a matter of the Power Balls, but of there being anything for them to fertilize.

Wanna know a story about Power Balls? I know a girl who got pregnant. . . before actually having intercourse! :eek: The father had Super Sperm (also, let that be a lesson . . . ALWAYS wrap it up if you wanna try and avoid pregnancy)

Wanna know a story about Power Balls? I know a girl who got pregnant. . . before actually having intercourse! :eek: The father had Super Sperm (also, let that be a lesson . . . ALWAYS wrap it up if you wanna try and avoid pregnancy)

Yeah, she never had intercourse. Couse not. :rolleyes:

Yeah, she never had intercourse. Couse not. :rolleyes:

Actually, it's possible to get pregnant without having sex. If he comes close to the entrance, sperm can get inside and fertilize an egg, although this is fairly rare.

Actually, it's possible to get pregnant without having sex. If he comes close to the entrance, sperm can get inside and fertilize an egg, although this is fairly rare.

Well, this is the thing - even in the most generous of scenarios, it still involves her father coming closer to her entrance than a father really should be.

Well, this is the thing - even in the most generous of scenarios, it still involves her father coming closer to her entrance than a father really should be.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

You read that all wrong.

Well, this is the thing - even in the most generous of scenarios, it still involves her father coming closer to her entrance than a father really should be.
Do you actually mean Incest?:p

Well, this is the thing - even in the most generous of scenarios, it still involves her father coming closer to her entrance than a father really should be.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

You read that all wrong.

Yeah, Ruffys right. When WC was talking about a father, she meant the father of the child conceived, not that father of the girl.

Methink your lieing.
Well in all honesty i did look from that point onwards.
I searched 'Ruffy' figuring i may have said his name in the post.
I also set my search to 2 weeks ago and older.
No luck:(

I have said Ruffy many many times.

However i shall be vigilant and continue to search!

Yeah, Ruffys right. When WC was talking about a father, she meant the father of the child conceived, not that father of the girl.
:p

lol, ok. But the original point about not having intercourse still stands. :p

:p

lol, ok. But the original point about not having intercourse still stands. :p

And that was? :confused:

And that was? :confused:

That I don't believe her. ;)

:p

lol, ok. But the original point about not having intercourse still stands. :p
http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy081.gif

That I don't believe her. ;)

Oh, but you can see how it is remotely possible for such a thing to happen, right? :)

Oh, but you can see how it is remotely possible for such a thing to happen, right? :)

Yes, but like I say, it's difficult to imagine a scenario where someone would genuinely be that close without having intercourse. I've heard stories of how some fundamentalist religious people will do everything but, in the believe that this preserves their innocence, but still, it seems an unlikely story.

Yes, but like I say, it's difficult to imagine a scenario where someone would genuinely be that close without having intercourse. I've heard stories of how some fundamentalist religious people will do everything but, in the believe that this preserves their innocence, but still, it seems an unlikely story.

There's some kinky stuff goes on out there. ;)

Yes, but like I say, it's difficult to imagine a scenario where someone would genuinely be that close without having intercourse. I've heard stories of how some fundamentalist religious people will do everything but, in the believe that this preserves their innocence, but still, it seems an unlikely story.
Jumping the gun might just do it.
Dry humping too(Maybe not so dry)
http://www.smilietown.de/smilies/sexy/sexy_039.gif

Jumping the gun might just do it.
Dry humping too(Maybe not so dry)
http://www.smilietown.de/smilies/sexy/sexy_039.gif

Sorry?

Sorry?

*Cough* He means it's possible if the man experiences premature ejaculation or if they are humping...

Sorry?
Nevermind.
Ask someone else, i've got to find some more evidence against IL Ruffino.

*Cough* He means it's possible if the man experiences premature ejaculation or if they are humping...
Ah!

Still requires...

Actually, I'm going to leave this thread with what little dignity I still have.

*Scampers away*

*Cough* He means it's possible if the man experiences premature ejaculation or if they are humping...
Yeah i was trying to save some um...
*shrugs*
Decorum people Decorum.

Yeah i was trying to save some um...
*shrugs*
Decorum people Decorum.

Well, he asked.

Yeah i was trying to save some um...
*shrugs*
Decorum people Decorum.
Decorum? Here? What have you done with the real Harlesburg?! :p

Decorum? Here? What have you done with the real Harlesburg?! :p
Touche.