NationStates Jolt Archive

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

2) Britain vs France

3) Israel vs Iran

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

5) India vs Pakistan

6) Italy vs Egypt

7) Canada vs Mexico

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

11) Indonesia vs Australia

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
China, the US will surrender when they run out of crap at WalMart.

2) Britain vs France
Germany.

3) Israel vs Iran
Iran, just listen to their news casts if you don't believe me.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
North Korea, same as Iran.

5) India vs Pakistan
India, but it'd be as if they had lost.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy, but then they'll lose, just because they do better when they're losing.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Mexico surrenders and asks to be annexed. Next Canadian elections are rigged and country changes name to Mexico.

8) Columbia vs Venezuela
Whichever can bribe more US aid with drug money.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia. Although Germany-US will appear to be winning in the beginning.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Whoever wins will still be a bloody desert.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Indonesia unleashes its army of trained orangutans and Australia sends the Fighting Kangaroos. Later a mutant army of half-orangutan half-kangaroos takes over both countries.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium, the Harlem boys choir gets lost and invades Iceland instead.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Carter can swing a hammer much harder than Bush.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
Neither. US can't get into China, Chinese can't get into the US.

But the USAF and USN can attack targets within China.

2) Britain vs France
Whoever attacks loses. So both will attack targets in each other's countries by air and lose a whole lot of planes doing it.

3) Israel vs Iran
Israel's got the better technology and training, but the Iranians have more dudes and presumably the support of the region. Still tipping a win on points for Israel though.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
The South could win even without the Americans. The problem for them is just the enormous civilian casualties.
The North Korean military could fight for about a week or so before maintenance issues and cut supply chains stop them.

5) India vs Pakistan
India, probably. But both would just nuke the living snot out of each other.

6) Italy vs Egypt
I have no idea, to be honest. I'd stip Italy because they have good technology and stuff, but I don't know much about the Egyptian military.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Up until a few years ago I would have said that Germany would repel a Russian invasion fairly easily, seeing as to how that was what the Bundeswehr was designed and trained for.
Today...well, Putin's been beefing up the military again, in a few years they might well be back on the ball. And at the same time the Bundeswehr is being restructured (for example, the number of Leos is being reduced from 2000 to 350), which will weaken its national defense aspect.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Neither can invade the other, but Australia can bomb Indonesia at their heart's content.

Also, I see great minds think alike: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=498038

*snip*

Also, I see great minds think alike: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=498038

I knew I'd seen something like this before.

There are no WINNERS in a war. :(

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

Neither. The US can get their troops to China, but once there, won't have enough to conquer the place. China could conquer the US if it got its enormous army here, but it doesn't have the navy to go through that of the US.


2) Britain vs France
Britain couldn't get conquered by France. Not sure if they could conquer France though. Maybe they would take Calais again. Hard to imagine these two fighting again after so long. Plus, France sort of has something to prove.


3) Israel vs Iran
Good one. I don't think either could successfully invade the other. If the war ends with a winner despite lack of invasion, I'd say Israel, they have much better technology. Their geographical separation might complicate things.


4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
If not for the American troops, it would be N. Korea, hands down. They might still win though. Maybe Seoul would get nuked.


5) India vs Pakistan
India. Larger population, and if I recall correctly, they came out better than China did in their little border dispute. They're just more powerful than Pakistan.


6) Italy vs Egypt
Good question. I would guess Italy could beat Egypt, even though neither is known as a military powerhouse in recent times.


7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada. Not sure why. Just a hunch I guess.


8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Venezuela. Colombia is too busy fighting itself to win, whereas Venezuela is a bit more unified.


9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Even in its weakened current state, I think Russia would still win. It would be very unpleasant though.


10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Syria has the better military I think. I doubt they'd attack the country that the city of Mecca is in though.


11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia, despite the fact that their population is lower.


12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium... obviously


13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter. I know he's a bit of a pacifist. But Bush is a weenie.




Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

Mecca. It's bigger, and it's a lot less Pacifist than the Vatican is right now.

U.S.A. VS. China: U.S.A would win. China has support from Russia, but the U.S has support from Britian, France, and Japan (all with nukes). The U.S.A. would win, but they would've sustained heavy casualties (asuming that the two countries could even invade each other).

Britian VS. France: Britian would win. Britian has the support from the U.S.A and Britian has more nukes and soldiers then France. Of course, this war is impossible unless France quits the EU (highly unlikely).

Isreal VS. Iran: VERY hard one. You have Isreal supported by the U.S.A and it's allies. But then you have Iran supported by every country in the Middle East. Can't see anybody winning that one.

North Korea VS. South Korea: South Korea would simply own North Korea. North Korea would be assaulted by 4 of the world's strongest countries (U.S.A, Russia, Japan, China, and Britian), and North Korea is too primitive to have the correct technology to launch weapons against any of these nations.

That's all I feel like answering for now.

I've got another fun one to add:

Who would've won the battle for the Fulda Gap (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulda_Gap)?

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
-Breaking News-
Jimmy Carter follows up Nobel Peace Prize with Senior Super Featherweight title.

:eek:

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

2) Britain vs France

3) Israel vs Iran

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

5) India vs Pakistan

6) Italy vs Egypt

7) Canada vs Mexico

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

11) Indonesia vs Australia

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca


1) a war-torn USA
More military; bombz0rs

2) Britain. Duh.
3) With the US, Israel (firepower). Without the US, israel gets uber pwned by terrorism and land/sea invasion

4) A pyrrhic victory for SK. They'd be n00ked, but the US would uberpwn NK
5) India. More forces.
6) Italy. More power. Air.
7) Neither. They have no way to get to one another.
8) Colombia. More coca $$$. :D
9) Germany. More advanced.
10) Saudi Arabia. They'd pay the West to do the dirty work.
11) Indonesia. Military.
12) They'd all go on vacation, as is custom :p
13) Senior. More $$$$$

Also, I see great minds think alike: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=498038

LOL, pretty similar matchups too. Though you had some interesting ones listed. USA vs EU is always a fun one. So many possibilities.

I tried to match the countries as evenly as possible. so far the responses have been pretty good.

There are no WINNERS in a war. :(


Tell that to the guys who lost. :p

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)


The cockroaches (nuclear war).


4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)


The cockroaches (see also "USA vs. China")


7) Canada vs Mexico


United States (more states! :D)


8) Colombia vs Venezuela


Columbia (Juan Valdez (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Valdez))


13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter


Clinton (Jimmy Carter with a Fox attitude (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Simpsons))

Yaar.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq) USA - topdog. We would, if we fought from the air, and didnt hold no punches. (I feel that way about most countries, btw. But it will never be like that, war is too political to give our all)

2) Britain vs France Can't say, knee jerk is to day Brit.. but I really don't know.

3) Israel vs Iran Israel .. they have many nukes. And they wouldn't hesitate in shooting em off.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea) USA as long as China didn't step in. but they would. Revert back to #1.

5) India vs Pakistan No clue.

6) Italy vs Egypt I'd say Italy, even with no knowledge of egypts military.

7) Canada vs Mexico Canada .. if they wanted to.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela No clue. Venezuela?

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops) Tough one. Since Germany has had its balls ripped from them and can't have no sense of pride. Russia.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria No clue.

11) Indonesia vs Australia I hope Australia.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir heh

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy CarterJimmmy! .. nah JC's rep was ruined.. made to look like an idiot southener. People buy anything spoon fed to them from the media. I didn't agree with all he supported, but he wasn't/isn't a stupid man.


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca Vatican ofcourse.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
Germany.
2) Britain vs France
France.
3) Israel vs Iran
Israel.
4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
SK
5) India vs Pakistan
India
6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy.
7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada.
8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Columbia. The US will step in. They got all that oil.
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia certainly won't lose.
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Death.
11) Indonesia vs Australia
Aussies.
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Piggy. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_of_the_flies#Piggy_and_the_glasses)
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Clinton


Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca
Shalon TV.

There are no WINNERS in a war. :(
The man selling either side guns always wins.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
Germany.
2) Britain vs France
France.
3) Israel vs Iran
Israel.
4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
SK
5) India vs Pakistan
India
6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy.
7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada.
8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Columbia. The US will step in. They got all that oil.
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia certainly won't lose.
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Death.
11) Indonesia vs Australia
Aussies.
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Piggy. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_of_the_flies#Piggy_and_the_glasses)
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Clinton


Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca
Shalon TV.


on #1 .. You think Germany would back China? Or what did you mean by that? Not baiting ya, just really want to know.

on #1 .. You think Germany would back China? Or what did you mean by that? Not baiting ya, just really want to know.
While China and the US waste away in a stalemate, Germany, looking for a quick fix to its population crisis, invades Europe and the Middle East.

Neither. US can't get into China, Chinese can't get into the US.

But the USAF and USN can attack targets within China.


Whoever attacks loses. So both will attack targets in each other's countries by air and lose a whole lot of planes doing it.


Israel's got the better technology and training, but the Iranians have more dudes and presumably the support of the region. Still tipping a win on points for Israel though.


The South could win even without the Americans. The problem for them is just the enormous civilian casualties.
The North Korean military could fight for about a week or so before maintenance issues and cut supply chains stop them.


India, probably. But both would just nuke the living snot out of each other.


I have no idea, to be honest. I'd stip Italy because they have good technology and stuff, but I don't know much about the Egyptian military.


Up until a few years ago I would have said that Germany would repel a Russian invasion fairly easily, seeing as to how that was what the Bundeswehr was designed and trained for.
Today...well, Putin's been beefing up the military again, in a few years they might well be back on the ball. And at the same time the Bundeswehr is being restructured (for example, the number of Leos is being reduced from 2000 to 350), which will weaken its national defense aspect.


Neither can invade the other, but Australia can bomb Indonesia at their heart's content.

Also, I see great minds think alike: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=498038

Negating the link to a post I never saw. We agree for the most part.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

USA just becuase we kick ass!

2) Britain vs France

Britain, because Lord knows France can't win without US or British help

3) Israel vs Iran

Israel becuase the US and the rest of the Western World would aid

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

Unfortunately I believe that N. Korea would win.

5) India vs Pakistan

India not quite sure why

6) Italy vs Egypt

Italy

7) Canada vs Mexico

Canada by far!

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

don't know so let's go alphabetically, Colombia

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Germany

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

Saudis are pretty tough

11) Indonesia vs Australia

Australia because theyre part of the British crown.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

hahahahaha. too funny

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

Republicans all the way baby... especially becuase Carter cant stay out of the damn hospital

so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

the Vatican for Divine reasons

While China and the US waste away in a stalemate, Germany, looking for a quick fix to its population crisis, invades Europe and the Middle East.


I don't see it happening. They can't even wave their own flag .. have pride in their own people without repercussion.

I don't see it happening. They can't even wave their own flag .. have pride in their own people without repercussion.

It's a trick that their government is using to make us think they are not a threat. Like the USSR, they only want you to think that they collapsed.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
Major loss for both. Nobody is going to support China, and they are still weaker. But China isn't going to give up and US has no power to defeat it. However, they won't launch missiles first and defend with conventional means.
So it would be a glorious and patriotic campaign. A few Chinese cities on fire, a few carriers on the bottom, a hundred thousands patriotic funerals in US and several hundreds less patriotic in China, and then the people would come to their minds and kick the republicans out.


2) Britain vs France
Probably Britain, but, really, they have nothing to fight over, so France would surrender.

3) Israel vs Iran
This would be a show. Iran is well prepared and would win a conventional war, but Israeli nukes can enforce a peace pact.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
China.
I'm serious. Both Koreas would suffer enough to be safely taken over by any friendly, peaceful and democratic nation with utmost respect for civil rights and sanctity of life, for only concern of ensuring safety and freedom of Koreans.

5) India vs Pakistan
Different weight categories.
India has the fourth strongest military. Pakistan isn't extremely weak in army, but is way behind in air force. IAF is the fourth strongest in the world with over 1100 aircraft, about 150 of them very modern. Better tech, better organization, better numbers.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Either Italy or no winner - Egypt is not equipped for a good war and has no potential to equip quickly. Italy can attack Egypt, but not vice versa.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Nobody would care about their war. They would have to first go around U.S., and it would be just a small naval fight.
Still, Canada is simply not prepared. Mexico is more ready. Both are quite weak and any major power could change the outcome.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
It would be not as fun to watch as Iran vs. Israel, but still interesting. Not sure.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Different weight categories.
Luftwaffe and Deutsch Marine are an order of magnitude weaker. It would be a quick air domination campaign. Taking over control of Germany without severe infrastructure damage, however, would take more time, unless Germany decided not to replay it and skip this phase.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Would be a show, but Saudi Arabia has stronger economy, so could have a good victory if prepared beforehand. Probably would win anyway.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Not much to fight about. Indonesia is better prepared, Australia has better tech. In an invasion, Indonesia would win, in a more likely Falklands-like fight on neutral grounds, Australia has more chances.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Harlem boys if they take all the Harlem alongside.

The Vatican vs Mecca
Mecca, of course. That would be dirty.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

Neither could really win.

2) Britain vs France

Britain.

3) Israel vs Iran

Iran, because I really hate the Jews.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

North Korea.

5) India vs Pakistan

Pakistan. India lost its ability to own when Gandhi died.

6) Italy vs Egypt

I dunno.

7) Canada vs Mexico

I hope Canada.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

Cuba

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Soviet Russia.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

Iran

11) Indonesia vs Australia

Margaret Thatcher.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

The Globetrotters.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter.

The Vatican vs Mecca

Mecca.

USA vs. China
USA would win, but it would be a bit tough. ten years from now, it would be a bloody stalemate. ( if China cut off their shipments of plastic toys, our economy would only be damaged for about 6 months, because EVERY ASIAN NATION has the ability to do what China does, which is make cheap plastic toys.)

England vs. France
England would win, cause the French would surrender as soon as they got wind that they were being invaded.

Israel vs. Iran
Israel. Its all about the nukes and planes for that battle.

North Korea vs. South Korea
Stalemate. The USA and SK will hold off the Norks, barely, and they will be back to where they where before the war started.

India vs. Pakistan
India. Their army is bigger and better.

Italy vs. Egypt
Lets just say Italy is getting a piece of the Roman empire back.

Canada vs. Mexico
Canada. Eh?

Colombia vs Venezula
The cartels would be pissed at Hugo, so... Colombia wins

Germany vs. Russia
Germany wins. America is on their side, so Russia loses.

Saudi Arabia vs. Syria
Syria. Easily.

Indonesia vs. Australia
Australia.

Belgium vs. The Harlem Boys Choir
uhhh Jesus would?

George Bush Sr. vs. Jimmy Carter
Pat Buchanon

BONUS!!!!
The Vatican vs. Mecca
All the Vatican has to do is portray Muhammed in a funny cartoon and the Muslims will kill each other.

U.S.A. VS. China: U.S.A would win. China has support from Russia, but the U.S has support from Britian, France, and Japan (all with nukes). .

Japan has maintained a no nuclear weapon policy after the bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

Japan makes extensive use of nuclear energy in nuclear reactors, generating a significant percentage of the electricity in Japan. Japan has the third largest nuclear energy production after the U.S. and France, and plans to produce over 40% of its electricity using nuclear power by 2010. Significant amounts of plutonium are created as a by-product of the energy production, and Japan had 4.7 tons of plutonium in December 1995. Experts believe Japan has the technology, raw materials, and the capital to produce nuclear weapons within one year if necessary, and some analysts consider it a "de facto" nuclear state for this reason. Japan has been quietly reconsidering its nuclear status because of the ongoing crisis over North Korean nuclear weapons.[46]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_states_with_nuclear_weapons

Response

USA just becuase we kick ass! heh, don't count on it.

2)

Britain, because Lord knows France can't win without US or British help. I don't look on France as being pussies as many do. They are too diversified now.. but I don't know at what cost that has effected their military force.

3)

Israel becuase the US and the rest of the Western World would aid. They could beat em anyway(yes because of what they've got from other countries).. the US is just a strong arm and a major money supplier.

4)

Unfortunately I believe that N. Korea would win. ---

5)

India not quite sure why ---

6)

Italy . Me too.

7)

Canada by far! Yeah.

8)

don't know so let's go alphabetically, Colombia ---

9)

Germany -- yeah right.

10)

Saudis are pretty tough ---

11)

Australia because theyre part of the British crown. ---

12)

hahahahaha. too funny ---

13)

Republicans all the way baby... especially becuase Carter cant stay out of the damn hospital -- heh

so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:



the Vatican for Divine reasons -- Vatican for power reasons.

actually, ive heard someone say that Japan, with our help ( USA ) could develop a nuclear weapons program in a week. and although Hiroshima and Nagasaki have something to do with their no nuke status, there is also a treaty in effect that states if Japan is seriously threatend, America is obligated by treaty to defend Japan. So they can just suck off the USA's nuclear arsenal.

Also somebody said China should kill off the Japanese because of what they did in WWII. Well I have a couple things to say bout that.
1. They are our ALLIES now. China is the new ENEMY.
2. China would be the aggressor, and like i said, we are obligated to defend them in that case.
3. Don't you think two atomic bombs and massive fire-bombing campaigns punished the Japanese enough?

actually, ive heard someone say that Japan, with our help ( USA ) could develop a nuclear weapons program in a week. and although Hiroshima and Nagasaki have something to do with their no nuke status, there is also a treaty in effect that states if Japan is seriously threatend, America is obligated by treaty to defend Japan. So they can just suck off the USA's nuclear arsenal.

Also somebody said China should kill off the Japanese because of what they did in WWII. Well I have a couple things to say bout that.
1. They are our ALLIES now. China is the new ENEMY.
2. China would be the aggressor, and like i said, we are obligated to defend them in that case.
3. Don't you think two atomic bombs and massive fire-bombing campaigns punished the Japanese enough?

[QUOTE=Daemonocracy;11866287]1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
No Winner, neither country will take such a risk

2) Britain vs France
Britain, although its not so much of a war if one side does all the fighting and the other does all the surrendering

3) Israel vs Iran
Tough Call... Whoever "won" would do so only if they completely irradicated the other side

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
South Korea, North Korea dosent have nukes, it has a nuke
True, they could deal out a bit of damage, but SK's modern westernized military can more than hold its own. NK's military is huge, but its composed of rusting 1950s Soviet hardware that belongs in a museum

5) India vs Pakistan
India, without a doubt

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy, cuz their food's better

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia, theyve invaded each other before. Germany's invasion failed, Russia's worked

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

China. We would pour everything into a war on the otherside of the world, It would seem impressive but it would get us no-where. It would be like VietnamXamillion. Literally. China not only has about 10times more than us in Man power and resources. But they're technology is rapidly advancing and they are closing the massive technological gap between the western world and the eastern. They're tech would probably be about the same as ours was in the early 90s. Combine that with the rest of everything and it would be the greatest slaughter of American soldiers ever. Anyone who beleives The US could beat China anywhere in Asia is a fool. A foolish fool, and knows nothing about war. Sure China could also never cross the pacific and land here and conquer here, but would they have to to win? probably not. And give them about 100 years and their technology may be more advanced than ours and they could attempt a succsesful invasion of the US.

2) Britain vs France

Britain. Not trying to play steriotypes but England has so much more to dish out and the French do not have the stomach for a large scale war.

3) Israel vs Iran

It would be a bloodbath. It would come down to nukes witch Iseal has more, and more effective and acurrate ones. So they would eventually win.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
Thats tough but I believe South Korea would win, bloodily. The North probably couldn't sustain a front for very long and my guess is they would fracture from within.

5) India vs Pakistan
India would overrun the whole of pakistan
6) Italy vs Egypt
Eh, Italy would probably get into egypt for a while but Egypt would definetly push them back out. Might end up allot like the US in Iraq.
7) Canada vs Mexico
they would both lose.
8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Venezuela would win but would never be able to control the land, ever.
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia would absolutley obliterate Germany. It would be allot like the last half of world war two.
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
The Saudis, with high casualties.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
I believe the Aussies would fend off any attack, and be able to mount a signififcant coutner attack to win the war.
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Well, belguim invented the p-90, so belguim.
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter would nail Bush's ass to a wall, literally, and that wall would then be donated to the homeless.

so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

Mecca. Its just, yeah, vatican tried it once, they could just never, no. It would be Mecca.

1) Stalemate. US troop can't take China, and Chinese can't reach America. American projection might end the war slightly favourable to the US, though.

2) The UK. Better all-rounders.

3) Israel's proven to me that they're more capable.

4) South Korea. NK has a large military, but elsewhere, they're in ruins. Expect widespread defections of troops and civilians.

5) India, if only for the larger military.

6) Italy, I suppose.

7) Mexico. I hear only bad things about Canada's military.

8) Colombia. Just a guess.

9) Russia. Germany's military is virtually non-existent.

10) No idea. They both suck.

11) Indonesia. Far more available troops.

12) The Choir.

13) Bush. Carter is a power wussie.

Bonus Matchup) Vatican, 'cause they have Swiss guys.

Indonesia vs Australia

we would win
they may have more troops
but they are not trained as good as our troops
fact the files that shown to the public some time back said we all most want to war with them over east timor

[QUOTE=Barbaric Tribes;11867204]-snip-[QUOTE]

good post.

[QUOTE=Barbaric Tribes;11867204]-snip-[QUOTE]

good post.

why thank you, :)

It's a trick that their government is using to make us think they are not a threat. Like the USSR, they only want you to think that they collapsed.


LoL. That's funny. They've had classic (olympic) sculptures destroyed, because they "were too aryan", somehow portraying the Hitler/Nazi mentality, when the artist that made the sculptures was doing his art before it existed.. Was replaced by that eye sore of a holocaust memorial. A bunch of freakin blocks? Just before this recent olympics, the jews were complaining of the same thing .. in Germany. What did they get torn down this time?

LoL. That's funny. They've had classic (olympic) sculptures destroyed, because they "were too aryan", somehow portraying the Hitler/Nazi mentality, when the artist that made the sculptures was doing his art before it existed.. Was replaced by that eye sore of a holocaust memorial. A bunch of freakin blocks? Just before this recent olympics, the jews were complaining of the same thing .. in Germany. What did they get torn down this time?
Who will be laughing when your ass is speaking Deutsch? The Germans, that's who.

Who will be laughing when your ass is speaking Deutsch? The Germans, that's who.

My ass doesn't have vocal chords, so HA!

Who will be laughing when your ass is speaking Deutsch? The Germans, that's who.

Didn't mean to come off as attacking you btw. But I probably did. I apologize. Subject just ruffles my feathers. I don't see Germany taking anything. And it's one of the languages I want to learn.

Didn't mean to come off as attacking you btw. But I probably did. I apologize. Subject just ruffles my feathers. I don't see Germany taking anything. And it's one of the languages I want to learn.

So I guess you will also be laughing.

Can I at least assume Bill O'Rielly would be sad?

So I guess you will also be laughing.

Can I at least assume Bill O'Rielly would be sad?


Laughing at what? Speaking Deutsch? Number one, won't happen on force.

And Bill O'Rielly is about as dumb as Rush, but not quite. I'm sure they'd both be pretty bummed out though.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
If the war didnt go nuclear, the US because it has a better AF and Navy, not to metion all the cruise missles and Tech.

2) Britain vs France
Britain is backed by more US tech. so i would go Britain even though France isn't a pussy county like evryone thinks becasue of WWII

3) Israel vs Iran
Israel is a very well trained and proud army you already repelled three Arab countries and is backed with US tech.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
No nukes by North Korea, South Korea because much better trained and North is unorganized and under funded.

5) India vs Pakistan
Well they would just nuke each other to death so, draw

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy because has better tech and Egypt was beat by Israelis showing Egypt as not the powerhouse people thought

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canana, (where would this be fought anyway, US is between the two) becasue better tech, more money and probobly better trained

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
?

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Do u know how many people live in Russia, if it is anything like WWII, Germany couldn't even fit all the people trying to invade

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Good battle, I would go with Saudi Arabia because they have better tech

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia becasue they could just do airial strikes and does Indonesia even have an AF

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
?

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter hands down

so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca ?

China.

Stalemate, negotiated peace.

Stalemate, mutually-assured destruction.

North Korea.

India.

Italy, but it would be messy.

A war of words followed by negotiated peace.

Colombia.

Russia.

Saudi.

Australia, but it would be messy.

Belgium.

Carter wouldn't fight. And Bush'd probably have a stroke or a coronary. Carter would call an ambulance for him, though.

China.

Stalemate, negotiated peace.

Stalemate, mutually-assured destruction.

North Korea.

India.

Italy, but it would be messy.

A war of words followed by negotiated peace.

Colombia.

Russia.

Saudi.

Australia, but it would be messy.

Belgium.

Carter wouldn't fight. And Bush'd probably have a stroke or a coronary. Carter would call an ambulance for him, though.

who make the mess them or us

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
USA and China draw, Taiwan loses (Either annexed by China or bombed back to the Ming Dynasty). Neither side could practically invade or occupy the other because of China being so huge in terms of size and population and the fact that China would have to face every American with a gun. So I'd say a draw, with the USA having the upper hand due to thei better naval/air capacity for overseas fighting.

2) Britain vs France
A draw, with Britain having the upper hand. Both sides would probably have difficulty in actually invading the other, so any actual fighting would be air based.

3) Israel vs Iran
Depends purely on the circumstances. If Iran starts it, the rest of the region probably won't officially help very much, and so Israel will probably achieve air superiority, but be unable to actually invade due to geopolitical seperation. If Israel starts it, the rest of the region will flock to Iran's side, except the Saudis, Hamas/Hezbollah will go nuts, and Israel will possibly be overwhelmed by Jihadists.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
I will assume China doesn't help North Korea but Japan helps South Korea, so I'd say the South wins with heavy casualties and Seoul and Inchon (?sp) shelled back to the Three Kingdoms. The North would possibly collapse quite quickly with what little food and energy being diverted to the Military quickly running out. America afterwards has to keep Korean economy afloat, but I'd assume the post-war Korea would quickly recover if the right economic steps are taken.

5) India vs Pakistan
Stalemate, with or without nukes.


6) Italy vs Egypt
Well, Italy's record in invading African countries isn't superb, and I'd assume it hasn't changed that much. Again, a stalemate, possibly with Cairo bombed out a little more.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, just a hunch.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Venezuela. Columbia would probably have a civil war over what their tactics are.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Depends who has Poland and Belarus. Probably Russia, since they wouldn't be afraid to do so.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Stalemate. They both wouldn't bother for very long.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia, but with heavy casualties.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Harlem Boys Choir. For a laugh.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Carter.

The Vatican vs Mecca
Vatican. They have Pope Palpatine I on their side.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
USA - would send in air raids from Taiwan to destroy China's industrial centres. Especially if America could take China by surprise, they'd kick China's ass easily.

2) Britain vs France
Britain. Superior air force.

3) Israel vs Iran
I imagine this one could quite easily go nuclear, in which case Israel. However, Syria and Hezbollah would be likely to join Iran, in which case the Israeli forces could be spread over several fronts. America would almost certainly join Israel's side, though...difficult one.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
South Korea, fairly comfortably, so long as NK can't get another nuke ready in time.

5) India vs Pakistan
As someone already said, they'd both 'nuke the living snot out of each other'. Imagining they had enough sense not to go nuclear, India.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Draw.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, maybe.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Colombia, because America would take the opportunity to get rid of Chavez.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia. They'd get those exploding dogs working properly.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Draw - they'd give up when they realise that they'd both be conquering a shithole.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Both win - Australia conquers Indonesia and Indonesia conquers Australia. The populations swap countries.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Harlem Boys Choir - mainly because Belgium haven't got a clue how to fight...

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Bush Sr., because Bush Jr. would bring the army in to help his dad.

Bonus Matchup:
The Vatican vs Mecca
Mecca. No one cares if the Vatican gets its ass kicked, not while it's got a former Nazi in charge of it. ;)

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
China if the war lasted without a ceasefire right until everyone died. Way more numbers, and you couldn't invade it, ever, and hope to win. Fantastic industrial potential. The people are just too resilient. Taiwan would get the biggest arse-kicking ever, also.
2) Britain vs France
Britain. We're like the Russians of western Europe. If you cheese us off, you will lose if you try to invade.

France have national service and hence a larger trained armed force, but the British people can get pretty angry.
3) Israel vs Iran
Israel, if this is a one-on-one fight. If it isn't, then Iran it is.
4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
North Korea. Their land is stupendously well-defended, plus China would help out NK if the US helps SK (might bring about situation 1, mind).
5) India vs Pakistan
India. It's bigger and has a better army. Both have nukes and the victory would be rather pyrrhic, mind.
6) Italy vs Egypt
Egypt. The Italian army is a bit shitty, plus its people aren't particularly good fighting stock. The Egyptians, on the other hand are quite hardy.
7) Canada vs Mexico
Hmm... probably Canada. They might like men possessed. Plus they'd get access through the US, whereas Mexico wouldn't.
8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Venezuela. They've got a better military now that Chavez is in charge and can sustain their troops better due to more oil for driving their planes and tanks etc.
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia. Anyone who invades Russia loses. They are amazingly hardy people. It is also the worst Russian winter ever when people choose to invade. See Napoleon and Hitler's advances.

Germany would be completely annihilated, again. Which would be rather sad.
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Syria. For crying out loud, they were once the Assyrian Empire, the best fighters in the world.
11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia. Their troops are of better quality, especially their special forces.
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium. High as the Harlem Boys Choir can sing, they are no match for the arms of Fabrique Nationale.
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Bush Sr., due to his CIA training.

A more interesting match-up would be Saddam Hussein and his extended family vs. the Bush family. CLASH OF THE TITANS!
14 )The Vatican vs Mecca
The Vatican have the Swiss Guards on their side. Useful as pikes are, they are no match for the Saudis, what with their AK47s and all.

China if the war lasted without a ceasefire right until everyone died. Way more numbers, and you couldn't invade it, ever, and hope to win. Fantastic industrial potential. The people are just too resilient. Taiwan would get the biggest arse-kicking ever, also.

Britain. We're like the Russians of western Europe. If you cheese us off, you will lose if you try to invade.

France have national service and hence a larger trained armed force, but the British people can get pretty angry.

Israel, if this is a one-on-one fight. If it isn't, then Iran it is.

North Korea. Their land is stupendously well-defended, plus China would help out NK if the US helps SK (might bring about situation 1, mind).

India. It's bigger and has a better army. Both have nukes and the victory would be rather pyrrhic, mind.

Egypt. The Italian army is a bit shitty, plus its people aren't particularly good fighting stock. The Egyptians, on the other hand are quite hardy.

Hmm... probably Canada. They might like men possessed. Plus they'd get access through the US, whereas Mexico wouldn't.

Venezuela. They've got a better military now that Chavez is in charge and can sustain their troops better due to more oil for driving their planes and tanks etc.

Russia. Anyone who invades Russia loses. They are amazingly hardy people. It is also the worst Russian winter ever when people choose to invade. See Napoleon and Hitler's advances.

Germany would be completely annihilated, again. Which would be rather sad.

Syria. For crying out loud, they were once the Assyrian Empire, the best fighters in the world.

Australia. Their troops are of better quality, especially their special forces.

Belgium. High as the Harlem Boys Choir can sing, they are no match for the arms of Fabrique Nationale.

Bush Sr., due to his CIA training.

A more interesting match-up would be Saddam Hussein and his extended family vs. the Bush family. CLASH OF THE TITANS!

The Vatican have the Swiss Guards on their side. Useful as pikes are, they are no match for the Saudis, what with their AK47s and all.

yes the SAS is good at kicking ass

and the CLASH OF THE TITANS will that be on TV

and the CLASH OF THE TITANS will that be on TV
Absolutely. Live. And there'll be repeats, and full Youtube permissions for it, too.

And there'll be a vote in a neutral country (Holland or something) about the type of fight (with / sans cage, with or without weapons etc.) and it will commence at a time where both the Iraqis and Americans could feasibly watch it.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
Very messy draw.

2) Britain vs France
Britain

3) Israel vs Iran
Israel, unless Iran's buddies come to help

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
Draw

5) India vs Pakistan
India

6) Italy vs Egypt
uh... no clue. Italy, maybe.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Draw

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
The ruskies

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Saudis

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Probably Indonesia, sadly.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca
^

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
World War 3.
A lot of countries side with china, and the weakened and in a deficit west sides with the USA, russia sides with china.
Outcome uncertain.

2) Britain vs France
British troops are better trained, and we have more than them.
The french have few alliances, the british have many.

3) Israel vs Iran
Israel as everyone would join in against iran.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
North Korea would lose less, but south korea wouldnt be obliterated.

5) India vs Pakistan
India, more people, more tech, more alliances.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, part of the british commonwealth.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Neither, they suck.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia, because Germany doesnt HAVE an army anymore. At least not a formidable one.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
The sauds have america by its genetalia, they win.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia. British Commonwealth.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
The harlem boys choir :p belgium licks ass.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter, on account of having more than 1 brain cell.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)-America
2) Britain vs France-Britain
3) Israel vs Iran-Iran
4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)-North Korea
5) India vs Pakistan-India
6) Italy vs Egypt-Italy
7) Canada vs Mexico-Canada
8) Colombia vs Venezuela-Venezula(Colombian Drug barons would undermine Colombian forces)
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)-Germany
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria-Saudi Arabia
11) Indonesia vs Australia-Indonesia
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir-Belgian would declare their neutrality!
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy CarterH would win
Bonus Matchup:
The Vatican vs Mecca-The Vatican
Jerusalem-2014!

Absolutely. Live. And there'll be repeats, and full Youtube permissions for it, too.

And there'll be a vote in a neutral country (Holland or something) about the type of fight (with / sans cage, with or without weapons etc.) and it will commence at a time where both the Iraqis and Americans could feasibly watch it.

Now thats good to hear

Now thats good to hear
Shame I'll probably never work in media, though :(

whats with all of you thinking that Indonesia will win
we been out numbered in the past and won so why not now
and dont forget we have new zealand to help as well because if we fall they next

whats with all of you think that Indonesia will win
we been out numbered in the past and won so why not now
and dont forget we have new zealand to help as well because if we fall they next
It's 20 million vs. 240 million. IMO it's slightly one-sided, unless the Americans help us.

It's 20 million vs. 240 million. IMO it's slightly one-sided, unless the Americans help us.
The Australian Special Forces in Vietnam had a 500:1 kill rate. I'm sure they'd be quite able to help you win this particular war, plus your regular army is also a lot better trained and equipped.

It's 20 million vs. 240 million. IMO it's slightly one-sided, unless the Americans help us.

just pay some of them off and i dont think they got a good navy or air force
as for the USA just say they got oil and see what happens

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

2) Britain vs France

3) Israel vs Iran

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

5) India vs Pakistan

6) Italy vs Egypt

7) Canada vs Mexico

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

11) Indonesia vs Australia

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca
1) Stalemate.
2) All I can say is thet the french will NOT surrender after the first 5 minutes.
3) Hm... I would say Iran.
4) South Korea, even without U.S. assistance.
5) No-one, cause since they would just take turns nuking the crap out of each other, and then there will be nuclear winter, everyone will die.
6) Who cares.
7) Canada, since Mexico does not have an army either.
8) Venezuela, since Colombia is also at war with itself, so that would mean they are an venezula's side. Does this confuse you?
9) Russia. Germany is only a shadow of it's former power.
10) Neither.
11) Why?
12) Belgium. The harlem boys choir will confuse it with the netherlands, and invade luxembourg instead.
13) Jimmy Carter, bush is so dumb he does not even know how to spell his name, so fighting would be impossible for him.
14) Mecca, the Meccans would just walk inside and blow themselves up.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

2) Britain vs France

3) Israel vs Iran

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

5) India vs Pakistan

6) Italy vs Egypt

7) Canada vs Mexico

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

11) Indonesia vs Australia

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

You forgot Hulk v's Spiderman.

The Australian Special Forces in Vietnam had a 1500:1 kill rate. I'm sure they'd be quite able to help you win this particular war, plus your regular army is also a lot better trained and equipped.

Where did you get this number?
Besides that, 1500:1 kill rate doesn't mean 10 soldiers killed 15000. It usually means that 100 planes bombed down 6000 people and one bomber was shot down.

The problem with ADF is small number (50,000), and small reserves of the country. While the Australian Defence Force has about 70 F-18, 50 strikers, and 30 or so ships, most smaller than frigates, it's pretty much all, and such amounts don't win wars on land. Besides that, they'll need to somehow transport these fighters. Without carriers, they'll have only choppers. Indonesia only has ten F-16 and a few Flankers. This is not a force against 70 jets, but much more power than choppers. Still everything like that is not much. The armies will decide the outcome. And here, Indonesia has 200-300 thousands.
So Australia can't defeat Indonesia. On neutral grounds, they'll win. In an invasion, lose.



It ALL, for every country, changes if we count allies. If so, the winner is whoever is supported by US, with exceptions of US vs China (obviously) and Germany vs Russia (all countries end blown up, unless it's Germany which goes Reich IV).

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
US, hands down.

Although, the Taiwanese, left to their own devices, could probably defend their little island on their own.

Superiror power projection capabilities, strong conventional strategic bomber force, superior navy (if you bring up the Sunburn missile, I'll hit you). Not to mention the strategic ring around China that the US has been able to build.

2) Britain vs France
Britain, by an inch. Mainly because of the superior air force, and the likelihood that the Germans would try to take a bite out of France's rump if this ever came to pass.

3) Israel vs Iran
Israel

Decapitation airstrikes cripples the Iranian command and control capability, leaving the country in shambles, as the IAF picks off the Iranian military bit by bit.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
Republic of Korea.

Despite taking some seriously heavy civilian losses at the beginning of such a war, the ROK army is much stronger than the DPRK army, not only that, but it will achieve air superiority within the first 24 hours.

5) India vs Pakistan
India.

Unless it goes nuclear, Pakistan has not won a single war against India for ages.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Undecidable

7) Canada vs Mexico
Mexico, by an inch.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Colombia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_of_Colombia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_of_Venezuela

Compare and contrast. Colombia is far superior as a military power.


9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Nasty, dirty stalemate, probably just outside of Poland.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Saudi Arabia

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Probably the Aussies.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
You know the Harlem Boys "Choir" is packing heat (in this instance, upgraded Tek-Nines) underneath their robes.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter, because he'd have his trusty habitat for humanity hammer around.

Where did you get this number?
Besides that, 1500:1 kill rate doesn't mean 10 soldiers killed 15000. It usually means that 100 planes bombed down 6000 people and one bomber was shot down.
D'oh! I meant 500:1. Whoops. I'll edit it now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_Australia_during_the_Vietnam_War

It's in there.

snip

The fish win every time. Poisson Power!

US, hands down.


Britain, by an inch.


Israel


Republic of Korea


India


Undecidable


Mexico, by an inch


Colombia


Nasty, dirty stalemate.


Saudi Arabia


Probably the Aussies.


You know the Harlem Boys "Choir" is packing heat (in this instance, upgraded Tek-Nines) underneath their robes.


Jimmy Carter, because he'd have his trusty habitat for humanity hammer around.
no, the usa could not win hands down. and how much is an inch?

D'oh! I meant 500:1. Whoops. I'll edit it now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_Australia_during_the_Vietnam_War

It's in there.

blood yanks oh your body count not good for us

D'oh! I meant 500:1. Whoops. I'll edit it now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_Australia_during_the_Vietnam_War
It's in there.

True.
"One thing the US could not complain about were the Australian and New Zealand Special Forces, the Australian Special Air Service Regiment (SASR) and the Special Air Service of New Zealand (NZ SAS). Together they achieved a stunning kill ratio of 500:1, the highest of any unit in Vietnam."

But it's means what I said about - not that every soldier equals 500, but rather that a number of fighters and bombers killed thousands and sustained only a few losses. Ratios always go high when air force is operating against inferior enemy, and they can be even infinite.

no, the usa could not win hands down. and how much is an inch?
Sure they could. If they use Taiwan as a base for bombing raids they could easily destroy China's industry. China's problem is that it doesn't have a similar base near America to do the same.

An inch is 2.54 cm.

how much is an inch?
2.54 centimetres ;)

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)


Last year in my Social Studies class we were talking about the Korea War, and our teacher told us that techniqually it's still going on. He said a ceasefire was signed, but no treaty, so any minute they could begin attacking again really.

He showed us a picture of a border crossing two with guards and such, and was like, "It looks peacful, correct?" and then went on to tell us that everywhere else, the border looked like a battle field. There's barbed wire, tanks, and more landmines then anywhere else in the wolrd along the border. It's hard to tell who would win because there would be such qucik devistation to both. In the first 11 minutes of the war, Seoul would be leved to the ground because of the number of artillary the North has aimed at it, and 2 million people would be killed.

The fish win every time. Poisson Power!

okay. now who's puppet are you?

okay. now who's puppet are you?

*shifty eyes*

*darts back into reef*

Sure they could. If they use Taiwan as a base for bombing raids they could easily destroy China's industry. China's problem is that it doesn't have a similar base near America to do the same.

In case of a war Taiwan would be a province of China before the transports arrive. After US took it over again, there would be not much of a base.

*shifty eyes*

*darts back into reef*

there is no country called "shifty eyes".

In case of a war Taiwan would be a province of China before the transports arrive. After US took it over again, there would be not much of a base.
Depends on how the war starts. I imagine America could get air support to Taiwan before they're at war with China. If not, they could use S. Korea or Japan as a base. My point is that America would be able to launch air raids on China, which would probably be the key to defeating the Chinese.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
US, becuase China will lose its source of income and the US will turn to central and couth America for cheap labor.

2) Britain vs France
France has a stronger army but Britain has a better Navy. Not sure.

3) Israel vs Iran
Who ever starts it loses.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
North Korea they will defeat S Korea with sheer numbers but the south will be liberated by foriengers and China will probably save the North again.

5) India vs Pakistan
India. Better tanks, army, probably has nukes...

6) Italy vs Egypt
Not sure why they'd fight anyways.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, hands down. What kind of question is that?

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Venezuela. Colombia can't even handle its own guerillas, let alone the Venezualan Army.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia. Germany has like 2000 Leopard tanks, Russia has 9,200 T-72s, 3,000 T-80s, 300 T-90s, a mess load of T-55s. Better SAMs, way larger Air Force, better Navy and an aircraft carrier. Putin is beefing up the military, too.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Saudi Arabia, they are richer and can afford a bigger military.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Neither but the Aussies can use their Air Force to bomb the crap out of them. Not sure why they'd fight, though.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belguim.

there is no country called "shifty eyes".

that was an 'action statement'. you can tell by the asterisks :rolleyes: ;) :p

no, the usa could not win hands down. and how much is an inch?

Wargames scenario:

-Government on Taiwan declares independence, and changes its official name to the "Republic of Taiwan."
-PRC launches assault on Taiwan, begins with missiles. PAC-3 and AEGIS systems knock down a majority of the missiles.
-US Pacific Fleet is redeployed to East Asia, with a large portion of the ships probably already being in the region.
- American Carrier Aviation, Taiwanese Land Based Aircraft, and possibly the Japanese SDF all engage the PLAAF and PLAN. PLAAF is severely weakened, PLAN is totally annihilated.
-US establishes cordon around PRC, begins strategic bombing campaign to cripple PRC industry, agriculture and populare will.
-Lot's of people die.

It's virtually assured that the US would smack the PRC silly.



An inch is just me saying that it's close, and that I'm not certain. I've got an inkling of how it would go, but I might be wrong.

In case of a war Taiwan would be a province of China before the transports arrive. After US took it over again, there would be not much of a base.

Not really, the Taiwanese have a superior navy and air force, and could probably hold their own against the PLAAF and the PLAN. The TBMs, MRBMs and IRBMs the PRC has placed in the vicinity of Taiwan could present a problem, but with AEGIS and PAC-3, most of those could be handled pretty easily.

Taiwan would suffer a bit, but it's doubtful the PRC could invade and take it over.

*shifty eyes*

*darts back into reef*
Truly your posts are excellent, if odd. I think you are a puppet of LG, from your name.

Truly your posts are excellent, if odd. I think you are a puppet of LG, from your name.

I suspect AR will be a welcome addition to every thread posted on NS General.

Just at the moment when it starts to get really heated, AR will show up and distract us enough that our own animosities will be forgotten.

Truly your posts are excellent, if odd. I think you are a puppet of LG, from your name.

why tank you, but you'll need to guess again :p

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

Cockroaches win, since there are no more humans left.

2) Britain vs France

Being British, I have to say Britain.

3) Israel vs Iran

Well, I've heard people talking about Israel having a good military, but not Iran.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

Hmm... N Korea probably has more troops, but they're probably malnourished... but America could just send in planes an bomb the hell out of N Korea, so prob. S Korea.

5-8) No idea

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Well, it was Russia last time, but both sides have better tech. nowadays.

10-13) No idea.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

Well, the Vatican has 100 or so swiss guard, and Mecca probably has thousands willing to kill at the slightest provocation, so...

Well, I've heard people talking about Israel having a good military, but not Iran.
The Persian military leaves, as the French would say "Beaucoup être dessirer". (Note : that may well not be correct French).

I suspect AR will be a welcome addition to every thread posted on NS General.

Just at the moment when it starts to get really heated, AR will show up and distract us enough that our own animosities will be forgotten.

and the cool waters sea of tranquility will sooth your fractured (if you're loosing) and inflamed (if you're winning) egos :D

p.s. i know the sea of tranquility is a dust bowl on the moon... those damn lunes nicked the name :P

1) USA vs China-USA (we're just better trained with better equipment)

2) Britain vs France-BRITAIN (France winning? thats an oxy-moron)

3) Israel vs Iran-ISRAEL (God's on their side)

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)-THE SOUTH (a better economy plus newfound ability to show North Koreans what they've been missing...the NK masses turn on Kim Jong Il in a heartbeat)

5) India vs Pakistan-INDIA (gut feeling)

6) Italy vs Egypt-ITALY (Better economy plus better military)

7) Canada vs Mexico-NEITHER, BOTH ANNEXED BY USA

8) Colombia vs Venezuela-COLOMBIA-they have more drug lords

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)-GERMANY (provided they don't invade Russia)

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria-SAUDI ARABIA (they have more money)

11) Indonesia vs Australia-AUSTRALIA (no invasion likely, but the air force could bomb Indonesia from now till doomsday)

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir-TIE

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter-Bush


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not.

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca-THE VATICAN-contrary to recent news, the Vatican is much more experienced at waging holy war.

Depends on how the war starts. I imagine America could get air support to Taiwan before they're at war with China. If not, they could use S. Korea or Japan as a base. My point is that America would be able to launch air raids on China, which would probably be the key to defeating the Chinese.
Then there's another problem: nukes. China has at least about 500 nukes, a part of which are on missiles well capable of hitting cities of US. NY, Washington, LA, whatever... you name it, it's out. So if they feel like they are going to lose the war, they'll respond. Then, there are short-range missiles, so Taiwan can be attacked anyway.
Still, I'd expect Taiwan not to be a good base, as it's too close to China to survive. Japan will definitely not let US to use it as a meatshield, they still want to live. Taiwan will try to prevent that as well, but taking them over is more politically acceptable. Generally, no sensible country will allow to conduct operations against a major power from its territory, so it will anyway need to be seized first, be it under chinese control or not.

Then there's another problem: nukes. China has at least about 500 nukes, a part of which are on missiles well capable of hitting cities of US. NY, Washington, LA, whatever... you name it, it's out. So if they feel like they are going to lose the war, they'll respond. Then, there are short-range missiles, so Taiwan can be attacked anyway.
Still, I'd expect Taiwan not to be a good base, as it's too close to China to survive. Japan will definitely not let US to use it as a meatshield, they still want to live. Taiwan will try to prevent that as well, but taking them over is more politically acceptable. Generally, no sensible country will allow to conduct operations against a major power from its territory, so it will anyway need to be seized first, be it under chinese control or not.
If it goes nuclear, neither win. America has over 6000 nukes. If China attacks America with a nuclear missile, I don't think America will think too much about whether to nuke them back.

1) USA vs China-USA (we're just better trained with better equipment)
OTOH you don't know the Chinese territory, and you're far less numerous. The Chinese would recover, their industry would become war-based and after about 20 years, they'd eventually win. That's how I see it, anyway.
2) Britain vs France-BRITAIN (France winning? thats an oxy-moron)
They're also the reason that the US didn't get the shit kicked out of it in 1776and 1812, to be honest, so a little courtesy on the part of the US would be nice.

Although I agree that the British would probably win.
3) Israel vs Iran-ISRAEL (God's on their side)
I personally see it more as "they'll WP the whole of Iran and roll tanks over the remainder of what's left", sadly.
4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)-THE SOUTH (a better economy plus newfound ability to show North Koreans what they've been missing...the NK masses turn on Kim Jong Il in a heartbeat)
I don't think so. The NKs could blow up the whole of Seoul, and then just sit at their border taking pot-shots at any counter attack the South attempts.
5) India vs Pakistan-INDIA (gut feeling)
Agreed.
6) Italy vs Egypt-ITALY (Better economy plus better military)
Italy has a pretty poor military to be honest (quite possibly the worst in Europe) and its people are lovers, not fighters. I reckon they would lose.
7) Canada vs Mexico-NEITHER, BOTH ANNEXED BY USA
More like "The US tries it on with Canada and gets 1812ed, they attack Mexico and get Alamo'd, but neither Canada or Mexico has the troops needed to fight each other any more".
8) Colombia vs Venezuela-COLOMBIA-they have more drug lords
Which is why they will lose. Internal strife.
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)-GERMANY (provided they don't invade Russia)
No way!

The Russians are pretty mighty, military-wise, and its people are harder than Glaswegian old boots with nails in.

Germany has a very fit population and an army that is technologically very good, but it's smaller, and would be overwhelmed methinks.
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria-SAUDI ARABIA (they have more money)
Aye, but the Saudis aren't particularly tough, just rich. The Syrians are pretty hardy people. They would probably win.
11) Indonesia vs Australia-AUSTRALIA (no invasion likely, but the air force could bomb Indonesia from now till doomsday)
True, but they'd get bored and call it off after a while. Not much point in that particular war tbh.
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir-TIE
As if.
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter-Bush
Agreed!
The Vatican vs Mecca-THE VATICAN-contrary to recent news, the Vatican is much more experienced at waging holy war.
Sadly it's using the same technology as it did in its previous wars.

Not really, the Taiwanese have a superior navy and air force, and could probably hold their own against the PLAAF and the PLAN. The TBMs, MRBMs and IRBMs the PRC has placed in the vicinity of Taiwan could present a problem, but with AEGIS and PAC-3, most of those could be handled pretty easily.

Taiwan would suffer a bit, but it's doubtful the PRC could invade and take it over.

Well, I don't mean that Taiwan is unarmed, but against the third strongest force in the world... I wouldn't bet on it. Also, China generally would only need to destroy the military infrastracture, not to control it.

Taiwan is still a lower level force than China. Not the best equipment, no nuclear power, and so on. Being located near China, it wouldn't stand a significant time.

More like "The US tries it on with Canada and gets 1812ed
First time I've ever seen anyone verb a year.

First time I've ever seen anyone verb a year.
V. "To 1812 : To surprisingly lose against a foe in military terms"

Ex. : "The US really 1812ed it in Vietnam, eh?"

5) India vs Pakistan
India. Better tanks, army, probably has nukes...


they do have nukes. and so does pakistan.

If it goes nuclear, neither win. America has over 6000 nukes. If China attacks America with a nuclear missile, I don't think America will think too much about whether to nuke them back.

Yes, they'll be nuked, but both sides get. Surely China won't do it as long as they hope to win the war on their own, but once they are ready to lose, they'll be ready to fire.

And that's another reason why US won't attack China, or at least won't invade.


But really the outcome of US-China war would depend on how would it start.

In general, for US-Chinese War (and guess how it will be termed later), there are a few basic ways to go. All involve someone going crazy.

First - both go crazy and US launches a war with China over a disputed territory like Taiwan. In this case, I'd expect other countries to just sit aside and make use of situation. Both get their forces severed, China gets some civilian losses, the country in questions becomes something like a better flattened version of Afghanistan, and under control of US.

Second - US go crazy and launch a war with aim to defeat China. Other countries might either piss off as in 1, or, more probably, break bonds with US, as US won't go that crazy to attack former allies, and it will be safer to become unaligned (Japan and SK will be the first). Then the rest of the world will form an alliance based on EU and NATO, and indirectly help China, while deciding on the new world order. In this case, provided that they get support, China will hold, and US will become an isolated acknowledged rogue state.
Then it's pretty much the scenario of USSR - economic collapse, political failure, people get tired, the system falls, and in 10-15 years US start to rebuild economy and regain good standing as just another country.

Third - China goes crazy and starts a war to seize countries around it, US send forces against them. In this case China loses all allies except NK, and US+EU might convince Russia and India to join NATO. Such an alliance will have bases, forces, supply lines and resources to defeat China with tolerable losses, and, most importantly, will be able to carry out a preemptive nuclear strike. Then China will either be divided between India, Russia, Japan, and US and EU control zones, or (which would be dangerous) get a puppet government. The rest of the world will become more united for a while and will continue to live mostly as before.

US vs China
ok this was link was posted in some other thread
i think it was to do with the end of the world

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

Caveat: without objectives, neither side wins. I take the examples to be glorified bar-fights. "Winning" is percieved as being whichever side leaves the fight first.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

Fought in China, China. Fought anywhere else, USA.

2) Britain vs France

Oh, don't be silly. They're both grown-up countries.

3) Israel vs Iran

Extremely improbable, in that either US/European countries or Arab countries would also be involved, making it far more complex. If there were no other countries on earth, just empty space between them, Israel. Airpower.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

"With help from 35,000 American Troops" makes it N. Korea vs South Korea + several western nations" and plain silly. Seoul is an incredibly important part of S Korea, though, and any outcome which involved it being nuked couldn't possibly be considered a "win" for South Koreans.

5) India vs Pakistan

India.

7) Canada vs Mexico

Once the Mexican militia have crossed the border out of their country, it's a win for Mexico!

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Again, that's silly. But assuming the American troops become naturalized Germans and choose to fight a pointless war instead of going on Welfare like any sensible young German would, still Russia. Most of the occupying Russian forces would stop returning to barracks, having discovered German Girls and Welfare, though.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

Saudi Arabian government vs A Half Dozen pissed-off Saudis ... would be a fairer fight.

11) Indonesia vs Australia

On any of the three main Indonesian islands, Indonesia crushingly. To invade Australia, fifty miles of sea would be too much, let alone the deserts. Air power again. Any other islands, Australia because of air and sea power, but still something to be avoided.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

Shit. You were joking all along! Dang.
George Bush Sr. Neither of them is president any more, so it's the Ex-Director of the CIA, vs the Ex-Peanut Farmer. Air Power. That said, I think Carter has kept his brain in better shape than Bush Snr, so if it was a non-physical contest like a moderated debate, perhaps Carter.
I'd pay to see that one!

[QUOTE]so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.
...

Why is the real question. There is simply no good answer.
War! What is it good for?

not me

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

USA. China has a rustbucket navy and an inferior airforce (quality wise) compare to even the Indian airforce. No power projection. Taiwan would hold its ground and Chinese infrastructure will be destroyed. The defeat might lead to increased internal fissures in Chinese society with Uighurs, Tibetans stepping up secessionist movements and the wealthy middle class clamoring for more political rights...


2) Britain vs France

Neither side can invade and hold ground of the other. Stalemate.


3) Israel vs Iran

Both sides have limited power projection. Israel will ward off any invasion attempts by Iran easily and Israel cannot mount any meaningful attack on Iran mainland. The war will be fought through Hezbollah proxies and as usual Lebanon will be defeated.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

South Korean cities will take a big hit, unless Americans plan a crippling pre-emptive attack on the NoKo artillery barrages. Eventually SoKo will win.

5) India vs Pakistan

Unless China opens a second front, India will win even if Pak uses nukes. The strike corps are being trained to operate in contaminated environment for this purpose.

6) Italy vs Egypt

No idea.

7) Canada vs Mexico

No idea. Canada has better training and quality. Mexico has numbers.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Germany. Russian army has severely degraded and demoralised since the fall of USSR.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

Syria. The saud monarchy actually employs a Pak division to protect themselves. Such is the state of KSA troops.

11) Indonesia vs Australia

Aus.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

no idea.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

GB Sr. He looks more fit.

The Vatican vs Mecca

Mecca. They can recruit a lot of visitors into their army.

Assuming that all forces are as stated and no other nation steps in:

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

China would win. It would be a vicious war, and, while I think that the USA would invade using Taiwan as a stepping stone and China would not invade the USA at any point, I think that the Chinese would rally magnificently against the American forces. The USA just doesn't have the same level of support from its populace, a factor which would tip the balance, even in a nuclear war.

2) Britain vs France

Britain. They'd use the Royal Navy to hold the English Channel and invade Calais over the sea. They'd have a small, highly efficient force holding the Channel Tunnel, which neither side would be stupid enough to attack through.
When Calais is captured, as it likely would be allowing for the length of time it would take to get the French Army there, it'd be used as a base on the mainland and the British Army would push through to Paris, whereupon the French would surrender. The French populace don't seem likely to put up much of a fight, even a guerilla war, simply because Britain isn't like WWII Germany.

3) Israel vs Iran

Israel. Their technology is better and they have an efficient military. While nuclear weapons might come in at some point, I think that they'd play a relatively minor part.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

North Korea. Nuclear weapons wouldn't come in but the North Koreans have a traditionally aggressive/paranoid stance when it comes to their military, thus making their army highly efficient for an Asian country.

5) India vs Pakistan

On the surface, India. A war would shatter its economy and infrastructure but it'd successfully claim Pakistan. It might not keep it for long, though.

6) Italy vs Egypt

Hmmm.... Depends. If the Egyptian sense of purpose is really as skewed and indeterminate as I believe it is nowadays, probably Italy. However, Italy's sense of purpose is not much better. I think Italy, just.

7) Canada vs Mexico

Canada. In case you didn't know, Canadians make great fighters. They're also more advanced and, while Mexico City has a population equal to about half of the entire population of Canada, they have a traditionally strong idea of what they're doing. Things might get tough if Speedy Gonzales steps in, of course. :D

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

Ostensibly Venezuela. The real winner: neither. Both nations would suffer so much damage that they'd be finished even as minor powers in the world, never mind major.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Russia. It's advanced to the point that the 'Russian steamroller' becomes feasible once again in the face of German and American technology. If the USA steps in properly and declares war, rather than unofficially lending those 40,000 troops to Germany, then I'm not sure. It wouldn't descend to nuclear war though.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

Tricky. I'd have to say Saudi Arabia, if only because of its relative size and economic strength.

11) Indonesia vs Australia

Australia. Australians are also great fighters and have a tenacity that makes them a dreadful foe.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

The Harlem Boys Choir, of course. Have you heard their singing?

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter. Not having any experience of either of them, being British, but Jimmy Carter sounds much more sympathetic to his nation.


so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

If the Vatican City is allowed its followers and Islam its own, then probably the Catholics. If it's just the vatican City versus Mecca, though, then it makes no real sense. Mecca isn't a state although the Vatican is.


Good thread, by the way. Very imaginative, some of these matches. :D

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer, CBE, OBE, MBE, Lord Chancellor and Newly-Created Minister for Spreading Proper English (NBIP member)

I'm sure that more than half a dozen people have already said something alike, but the only answer is: "NOBODY."

I'm sure that more than half a dozen people have already said something alike, but the only answer is: "NOBODY."
Hurrah for clear thinking!

Hurrah for clear thinking!
http://www.section.at/img/smiley/kniep.gif Yup!

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
USA, only and ONLY because Taiwain assisted us
2) Britain vs France
Britain. Their tanks are too good.
3) Israel vs Iran
Iran. They have nukes now, you know.
4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
North Korea. This time not because of the nukes. Hell, they wouldn't even USE them in that war. The people are too "loyal" to the Most Glorious Leader to lose the war. South Korea is a democracy, and that makes them militarily weak.
5) India vs Pakistan
India. Sheer numbers are the factor here.
6) Italy vs Egypt
Hmm... The classic WWII scenario... Well, Italy won the first time... Maybe the Egyptians can summon Ra or someone like that to help them. If not, it's Italy.
7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada. They have the Moosian cavalry. What do the Mexicans have? Professional tunnel diggers? Professional jumpers? Pssh.
8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Venezuela. Sure, the Colombians have the drug lord armies, but Venezuela is one of the richest countries on Earth, with the whole "oil" thing going on. The only foreseeable problem is if the Venezuelan army becomes disloyal to Chavez. It's happened before.
9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Russia will most probably go under some form of revolution during the war, making them into the industrial powerhouse they once were. What the determining factor is is whether or not the revolution is performed by peaceful people or violent people. Tied.
10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Saudi Arabia. It's like the Venezuela/Colombia thing, with Saudi Arabia being the one with the oil fields. Syria has terrorist orginizations, which are the military equivalent to the drug lords. The difference here is the Saudi Arabian military is completely loyal to the government.
11) Indonesia vs Australia
Indonesia. It will be impossible for Australia to do so much island jumping. They only know of wide, spanning fields. Not thick, jungle filled islands dotting the sea.
12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Harlem Boys.
13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter. He's got that farmer strength goin' on, ya know.

so who do you think would win in these wars? why? how?

write a little story about each, or one if you want. This thread is meant to be fun, even if war is not. :)

I think there are some interesting matchups.

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

God is on the side of both. It all depends on which one he considers more fun-causing. Islamic terrorists? Or Christian crusaders?

Italics is response.

So what if the responses are short.

The undertakers and coffin makers would win big .

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

America, when all the fat rednecks learn that WalMart's new discount prices are 1099(.00) for the lawn chair.

2) Britain vs France
Germany invades both, France's white cloth factory district is destroyed in the first Luftwaffe waves, meaning France's military production is stonewalled. Defeated, Britian can finally add a somewhat on time BEF force now there is a world war (since France has lost, can't have one without France losing).

Britian and Germany have a fun time duking it out in the air. Germany decides that is to diffucult and... (read ahead)

3) Israel vs Iran
Isreal will have a 8 day war. Capturing more than half of Iran. After yelling at the UN for how bad it is, Iran's Prime Minister is awarded a resolution saying Isreal should hand the land back over.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
No contest, Kimmy will fall on his high heels and roll down a stair way. Killing himself.

5) India vs Pakistan
Nuking each other, the exiled nation of Tibet will assume authority.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy will when, decide losing is easier for it's socia welfare and abidicate.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, then thousands of immigrants that can only speak Mexican will flood on over and cause a massive economic recession that Canada will never recover from. While that is happening though, all the Canadians with summer houses in Mexico will move down there and become the majority.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Whoever can make fun of the UN more. Gets the better deal.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Germany, deciding Britian is to hard, will attack Russia. They will got bogged down around the sign saying "You Are Entering Moscow" promptly lose.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Doesn't matter, Iraq can produce all of our oil.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia will fight it out first in war, and then by futbol. Every game that they los they need to hand over 100 kilometers, vice-versa for Indonesia.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium (one of the top beer drinkers in the world) will get the Hrlem Boys so drunk they'll pass out and get shipped to America where they will have a fun weekednds of collecting food stamps and social wlefare checks and on their weekdays protesting against the same government.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
George will get that one russian guy and they'll tell Jimmy that he was a bad president and then Jimmy will go off crying to Clinton, who will then look at Hilary, who'll then look at Monic, who'll then look at Sentor Kerry for help, who'll then look around and say "Yes I didn't not do what your not thinking that I did not think."

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

Vatican will get huffy and send some conflicting messeges. Mecca residents will get so depressed that they will contemplate suicide.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

America, when all the fat rednecks learn that WalMart's new discount prices are 1099(.00) for the lawn chair.

2) Britain vs France
Germany invades both, France's white cloth factory district is destroyed in the first Luftwaffe waves, meaning France's military production is stonewalled. Defeated, Britian can finally add a somewhat on time BEF force now there is a world war (since France has lost, can't have one without France losing).

Britian and Germany have a fun time duking it out in the air. Germany decides that is to diffucult and... (read ahead)

3) Israel vs Iran
Isreal will have a 8 day war. Capturing more than half of Iran. After yelling at the UN for how bad it is, Iran's Prime Minister is awarded a resolution saying Isreal should hand the land back over.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
No contest, Kimmy will fall on his high heels and roll down a stair way. Killing himself.

5) India vs Pakistan
Nuking each other, the exiled nation of Tibet will assume authority.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy will when, decide losing is easier for it's socia welfare and abidicate.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, then thousands of immigrants that can only speak Mexican will flood on over and cause a massive economic recession that Canada will never recover from. While that is happening though, all the Canadians with summer houses in Mexico will move down there and become the majority.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Whoever can make fun of the UN more. Gets the better deal.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Germany, deciding Britian is to hard, will attack Russia. They will got bogged down around the sign saying "You Are Entering Moscow" promptly lose.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Doesn't matter, Iraq can produce all of our oil.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia will fight it out first in war, and then by futbol. Every game that they los they need to hand over 100 kilometers, vice-versa for Indonesia.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium (one of the top beer drinkers in the world) will get the Hrlem Boys so drunk they'll pass out and get shipped to America where they will have a fun weekednds of collecting food stamps and social wlefare checks and on their weekdays protesting against the same government.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
George will get that one russian guy and they'll tell Jimmy that he was a bad president and then Jimmy will go off crying to Clinton, who will then look at Hilary, who'll then look at Monic, who'll then look at Sentor Kerry for help, who'll then look around and say "Yes I didn't not do what your not thinking that I did not think."

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

Vatican will get huffy and send some conflicting messeges. Mecca residents will get so depressed that they will contemplate suicide.

if you saying AFL then we win they dont play AFL

No, I mean FIFA kind of fuBball.

No, I mean FIFA kind of fuBball.

they play that
fact i dont know what sports they play

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia will fight it out first in war, and then by futbol. Every game that they los they need to hand over 100 kilometers, vice-versa for Indonesia.

If only all wars were fought like that...

how about figthing a war using pinball
the one with the most points in a set time wins the war

No, I mean FIFA kind of fuBball.

you mean fußball?

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

America, when all the fat rednecks learn that WalMart's new discount prices are 1099(.00) for the lawn chair.

2) Britain vs France
Germany invades both, France's white cloth factory district is destroyed in the first Luftwaffe waves, meaning France's military production is stonewalled. Defeated, Britian can finally add a somewhat on time BEF force now there is a world war (since France has lost, can't have one without France losing).

Britian and Germany have a fun time duking it out in the air. Germany decides that is to diffucult and... (read ahead)

3) Israel vs Iran
Isreal will have a 8 day war. Capturing more than half of Iran. After yelling at the UN for how bad it is, Iran's Prime Minister is awarded a resolution saying Isreal should hand the land back over.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)
No contest, Kimmy will fall on his high heels and roll down a stair way. Killing himself.

5) India vs Pakistan
Nuking each other, the exiled nation of Tibet will assume authority.

6) Italy vs Egypt
Italy will when, decide losing is easier for it's socia welfare and abidicate.

7) Canada vs Mexico
Canada, then thousands of immigrants that can only speak Mexican will flood on over and cause a massive economic recession that Canada will never recover from. While that is happening though, all the Canadians with summer houses in Mexico will move down there and become the majority.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela
Whoever can make fun of the UN more. Gets the better deal.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)
Germany, deciding Britian is to hard, will attack Russia. They will got bogged down around the sign saying "You Are Entering Moscow" promptly lose.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria
Doesn't matter, Iraq can produce all of our oil.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Australia will fight it out first in war, and then by futbol. Every game that they los they need to hand over 100 kilometers, vice-versa for Indonesia.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir
Belgium (one of the top beer drinkers in the world) will get the Hrlem Boys so drunk they'll pass out and get shipped to America where they will have a fun weekednds of collecting food stamps and social wlefare checks and on their weekdays protesting against the same government.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter
George will get that one russian guy and they'll tell Jimmy that he was a bad president and then Jimmy will go off crying to Clinton, who will then look at Hilary, who'll then look at Monic, who'll then look at Sentor Kerry for help, who'll then look around and say "Yes I didn't not do what your not thinking that I did not think."

Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca

Vatican will get huffy and send some conflicting messeges. Mecca residents will get so depressed that they will contemplate suicide.

do you ever post anything that isnt an unfunny list of stereotypes? how old are you?

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq) USA win, technically. USA could never 'beat' the chinese per se, but they could sit on their borders and kill their export based economy.

2) Britain vs FranceUK, the SAS would just sit on the eifell tower taking pot shots at anyone who disagreed with the British flag on top.

3) Israel vs IranIsrael, they would throw mounds of US hardware on Iran until it stopped moving. If however they did not have US backing, and didn't/couldn't use their nukes, Israel would start to win initially with it's superior army, but then would drop off as fleets of terrorists destroyed Israel inside-out. Ahmedinejad: "(Husky marlon brando) Osama, Osama, some time ago I did a favour for you on the condition that one day I may call upon you to return the service. That day has come.."

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea) Usually I don't allow nukes in such an experiment, but I'll make an exception for Kim. The Democratic Republic of Korea would launch everything it has at the Republic of Korea, but the a sharp wiind woul blow the payload into china, and china would fuck them up the arse. Then the Republic of Korea would casually resume governance of the north adn nobody would speak of the affair ever again.

5) India vs Pakistan Probably Pakistan. Not sure.

6) Italy vs Egypt Hahahaha, the Italioans would arrive, and the egyptians would be like "How do you wanna do this?" After some discussions the Italians would agree to a weeks free food, ganga, drinks and access to the brothel followed by a hasty departure.

7) Canada vs MexicoCanada would crush Mexico with its mighty coalition of Lumberjacks and Mounties. Unfortunately many many lumberjacks would die in the fateful 'jalepino' incident.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela Venezuela. Cos Commies always win. Well...

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)Dueschtland shall reign supreme! The russians can lick nuts...in siberia.

10) Saudi Arabia vs SyriaSaudi land. They could use Maddox's idea of the money drop. Possibly enev adapt it to pouring crude oil over all of Syria with a jian 40Billion gallon drum, then flicking a match.

11) Indonesia vs Australia Indonesia would invade, we'd sink most of their dinghys on the way, then mow them down on the desert as they struggled their way to civilisation. Then we would swing around to Indonesia and throw shit at them from our ships (Seeing as a land invasion would be both unneccesary and unsuccessful).

12) Belgium] vs The Harlem Boys Choir What are you trying to say?

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter *swoosh* [/notamerican]


Bonus Matchup:

The Vatican vs Mecca Things would look bad for the vatican initially, as thousands of crazed young strapping lads geared up for battle with the elderly old men of the Vatican. However, the Vatican would shock the world in the revelation that it secretly controls the worlds nuculear arsenals when it fires every nuke in the world at Mecca. This would also create a massive tourist economy for postwar-Mecca as they would find in place of mecca there is thousands of kilometres deep collumn of tempered glass right to the planet core. Looking down you will see that inside the planet core is not larva, but the entire hindu pantheon.

11) Indonesia vs Australia
Indonesia. It will be impossible for Australia to do so much island jumping. They only know of wide, spanning fields. Not thick, jungle filled islands dotting the sea.

Uh, Australia has argueably the best trained troops for jungle combat in the world. It's what we do. If you asked me what is the best environment for the Australian military to operate in, I would say "the Jungle".

Plus Australia is not all 'wide spanning fields'. We have desert, jungle, scrub, plains,salt lakes, floodplains, rainforests, snowfields, mountain ranges, canyons, wastelands, and a whole lot more. You know, everything you'd expect to find on a continent.

Uh, Australia has argueably the best trained troops for jungle combat in the world. It's what we do. If you asked me what is the best environment for the Australian military to operate in, I would say "the Jungle".

Plus Australia is not all 'wide spanning fields'. We have desert, jungle, scrub, plains,salt lakes, floodplains, rainforests, snowfields, mountain ranges, canyons, wastelands, and a whole lot more. You know, everything you'd expect to find on a continent.

yes and we showed how we fight in the jungle in WW2 and NAM
we good at it

they play that
fact i dont know what sports they play

Indonesia is big on Badminton and Rattan (Cross between volleyball and hackeysack)

Indonesia is big on Badminton and Rattan (Cross between volleyball and hackeysack)

thank you
they would win if a war as fight playing that

whats with all of you thinking that Indonesia will win
we been out numbered in the past and won so why not now
and dont forget we have new zealand to help as well because if we fall they next
I said Indonesia for the very reason that New Zealand's involvment wasn't mentioned.
Of course Oz would win with our help, they couldn't lose!

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)

The Chinese would win. We do need someone to make the weapons, you know.

2) Britain vs France

Le guerre? Nous nous rendons! Le surrender!
http://hogwhitman.com/images/29600-28111/france_surrenders(edited).JPG

3) Israel vs Iran

Hm. Iran would probably command the most regional support, but the Israeli military is much better. Iran is a lot more popular in the Middle East, and the people there aren't exactly politically apathetic. Israel wouldn't launch a nuke, no way China or Russia would allow them to get away with it. Iran would probably win.

4) North Korea vs South Korea (with help from 35,000 American Troops stationed in S. Korea)

North Koreans would run out of food pretty quickly. The South would win, but they'd destroy most Seoul. China would "liberate" them.

5) India vs Pakistan

India. More people, better, more modern army.

6) Italy vs Egypt

Italy is more modern, so they could launch aerial attacks on Egypt while the Egyptians could not do the same. Pretty quiet war.

7) Canada vs Mexico

The United States.

8) Colombia vs Venezuela

The Colombians are too busy fighting themselves to present a unified front against the Venezuelans. The left-wing rebels might even side with the Venezuelans.

9) Germany vs Russia (the 40,000 or so American troops fighting alongside German troops)

Russians would easily win.

10) Saudi Arabia vs Syria

Saudis, I'd wager. Much more fanatical, more militaristic.

11) Indonesia vs Australia

Indonesian military's huge, but Australia's is probably more modern. Good question, that.

12) Belgium vs The Harlem Boys Choir

Belgians would give them some waffles and work it out over chocolate.

13) George Bush Sr. vs Jimmy Carter

Well, we all know Mr. Carter's good with a hammer...

I said Indonesia for the very reason that New Zealand's involvment wasn't mentioned.
Of course Oz would win with our help, they couldn't lose!

when we together it takes a lot to stop us

BTW, just some advices to people interested in it seriously.

First, don't forget to check the numbers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_size_of_armed_forces - the most comprehensive comparison
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_number_of_total_troops - includes reserves and paramilitary
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_number_of_active_troops

These give a rough idea of how large the forces are. Note that many contestants are very far apart, and therefore one of them is incapable of land offensive.

For military budgets, remember that they may not be compared directly. For instance, costs of maintaining personnel for the West and the East are very different. In the West, just keeping a soldier generally costs $50,000 per year or above, a little less for conscripts, but still around this number. In the East it is much lower figure, only about $2000-$5000. This doesn't include armament, only personnel cost, but often contributes for a large part of the budget for some countries.
It also depends on where the country gets equipment. Purchasing equipment from US may be very expensive. Equipment from other manufacturers is sometimes way less expensive, at expense of political relations and compatibility. Nations that produce their own spend their budgets most efficiently. Some, like China and India, rely on a mix of purchased top-grade and domestic-made equipment. In case of India, some of newer domestic equipment is also top-grade, build with purchased technology and partially imported parts. Second-grade equipment can have poor efficiency in overseas battles, but can do quite well at home as the warfare is more asymmetric.

Also, always mind the population and potential paramilitary. Generally, in most of these conflicts both of the countries could not really win at all, as their offensive would become crashed quite quickly due to low force projections.
Some would do very differently in overseas battles on neutral grounds. For instance, Australia can't even transport enough troops to Indonesia so that they are not slaughtered in the first week with little losses on Indonesian side, while on some distant island it could do better than Indonesia.

The situation is different with Germany. While it possessed a considerable force during the Cold War, modern Bundeswehr is too weak not only for offensive, but even for defense against any of the major forces (US, Russia, China, India), having very small fleet and air force, and generally limited to some land troops without extensive air defense. Land armies can not operate when the enemy has both air and naval superiority. This is especially so considering that the four major forces combined possess almost all world's operable air force, and, with Japan, UK and France included, almost all capital fleet. Any of the major forces could operate against several countries in its region but outside this list.

Again, for some countries, mobilization capacity and current force are quite different. India, Saudi Arabia, Canada, Russia, Indonesia and possibly China have capabilities for two-fold or higher increase of their military power in a year if they consider it needed.


P.S. By the way, about the Harlem Boys Choir - this is less serious, but would you dare shoot a black boy? I am not that crazy, personally.

1) USA vs China (with Taiwan assisting America and American troops no longer in Iraq)
Neither. We buy our crap from China, they get the money. We couldn't go to war because then our economies would collapse.

1) USA. More experienced, I s'pose.

2) France. They got croissants.

3) Iran. Crazy leader with crazy nukes.

4) South Korea. They have the U.S. as back-up...

5) India. They're just.. bigger in size.

6) Egypt. Help from the aliens that built their pyramids.

7) Canada. Maple syrup can be quite deadly.

8) Colombia. Colombian coffee can be quite deadly.

9) Germany. They're quite the efficient bunch.

10) Saudi Arabia. I s'pose more military might.

11) Australia. They'll wack em with their 'roos.

12) Belgium. Never underestimate the powers of the waffle.

13) Jimmy Carter. Just cuz.

Bonus) Mecca. Hi-ya!!!1111

Britain couldn't get conquered by France. Not sure if they could conquer France though. Maybe they would take Calais again. Hard to imagine these two fighting again after so long. Plus, France sort of has something to prove.


Britain hasn't been conquered or successfully invaded by a foreign power in coming-up-on 1,000 years. i think we've got a track record to keep and just as much to prove as they ;)

[/leaves stupid thread]