NationStates Jolt Archive


Now this is freakin' sexy, baby!

PsychoticDan
27-10-2006, 20:25
Ummm.... yeah, baby. That's right, oh yeah. Right there, baby that's sexy. Yeah, that feels goooood.

Just when you thought bestiality couldn't get any ickier, it does – thanks to a man who is charged with having sex with a dead dog, in full view of a day care centre.

Ronald Kuch, a 44-year-old from Michigan, is charged with 'crimes against nature' after allegedly being seen engaging in sexual acts with the dog corpse, which had been dead for four or five days.

Police had already been called by day centre staff to remove the dead dog, which had been hit by a car several days before. But before police could arrive, Kuch allegedly turned up, and began getting his freak on with the canine cadaver. As luck would have it, that's when the police turned up.

Police say the sexual acts were witnessed not only by one of their officers, but by staff at the day care centre in Saginaw, Michigan.

When police tried to arrest him, he reportedly shoved an officer aside and ran away. He was eventually tracked down and discovered hiding in the attic of a nearby house – which, police say, belonged to his girlfriend.

Just to make this perfectly lovely story even more charming, police say that they have determined the dead dog had also belonged to his girlfriend. No word on whether he'd been grooming the dog before the incident, though.

If Kuch is convicted, he could face up to 15 years in prison, reports the Associated Press.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=22746&in_page_id=2
Ifreann
27-10-2006, 20:26
This is not as sexy as I have been led to believe. It is, in fact, the very definition of unsexy.
SHAOLIN9
27-10-2006, 20:29
This is not as sexy as I have been led to believe. It is, in fact, the very definition of unsexy.

Yeah ew.........I bet he run the dog over in the first place just to prep the situation.
Baratstan
27-10-2006, 20:31
:eek:

...

Isn't this the sort of thing DCD would dig up?
Ifreann
27-10-2006, 20:34
:eek:

...

Isn't this the sort of thing DCD would dig up?

This does have a DCD feel to it, he always finds the strangest news stories.
[NS]Trilby63
27-10-2006, 20:36
Excuse me. I must go disinfect my eyes.
Drunk commies deleted
27-10-2006, 20:38
I passed this one up. Unlike the Wisconsin attempted necrophillia story a month or two back, this one is IMHO less funny and more disgusting.
Qwystyria
27-10-2006, 20:44
Anyone wanna make bets on whether he was doing the dog before it died too?
Zandoman
27-10-2006, 20:45
I love how DCD responded to that comment right in step, making absolutely no pause due to the nature of the question.
Wallonochia
27-10-2006, 20:50
:eek:

...

Isn't this the sort of thing DCD would dig up?

I'd have thought DCD too, but actually someone named Ebri did first.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=504713
Drunk commies deleted
27-10-2006, 21:03
I love how DCD responded to that comment right in step, making absolutely no pause due to the nature of the question.

I may have spoken too soon. I forgot it's October and the corpse was in Michigan. The cold temp would retard decomposition and he might well need lube. I was assuming five days in warmer temperature.
Boonytopia
28-10-2006, 00:27
What makes you so certain it was a bitch?

Of course it's a female dog, he's not a pervert! :p
Nevered
28-10-2006, 00:29
Yeah ew.........I bet he run the dog over in the first place just to prep the situation.

foreplay?

:p
Utracia
28-10-2006, 00:32
If it had been a dead seal then it would be sexier...
Grainne Ni Malley
28-10-2006, 00:40
I knew I should have never looked at this topic. Something told me, nay screamed, "Don't do it!"

:(
Frisbeeteria
28-10-2006, 01:09
<snip>
Dan, you went a bit too psychotic on that one. Closed.