NationStates Jolt Archive

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

http://www.bama.ua.edu/~carde019/towelie.gif
I have no idea what's going on...

I have no idea what's going on...

When I was a kid I thought adults knew what they were doing and that their self-assuredness sprang from understanding the world. I'm currently hitting my mid-thirties and feel like I'm ad-libbing through life rather than following any kind of plan.

i know that i have yet to feel like an adult - or what i assumed being an adult should feel like, at least.

When I was younger, I thought that feeling like an aldult meant being drunk.

How right I was.

When I was younger, I thought that feeling like an aldult meant being drunk.

How right I was.

I thought being an adult was not having any fun for the rest of your life.

I have hit 24 and I am no closer to being an adult than when I was 16. I just get up earlier.

When I was a kid I thought adults knew what they were doing and that their self-assuredness sprang from understanding the world.

Heh, yeah, that's exactly what I thought. I am still disappointed that there was never a point in life at which all of this understanding was uploaded to my own brain. I still half suspect that I slept through one really important day at the end of high school or college or something.

Now I'm leaving the country, like I know what I'm doing. Unfortunately, I have not the slightest idea what I'm going to do when the plane lands in Aus. Perhaps I'll try shouting, "Get out of my way, government! I'm a grown-up!" and hitting somebody with my passport.

I have hit 24 and I am no closer to being an adult than when I was 16. I just get up earlier.
It'll sneak up on you. One day, you'll wake up after having been at a friend's party, with your long term partner downstairs getting ready for work and you'll think 'hey, why am I not hung over?' And do you know why this will be? It'll be because you didn't get drunk. At a party.

At that point, you may as well commit suicide, because it'll go all Logan's Run on you after that.

At that point, you may as well commit suicide, because it'll go all Logan's Run on you after that.

Getting to hang out with a 24 year old version of Jenny Agutter is cause fior suicide? I think not.

Getting to hang out with a 24 year old version of Jenny Agutter is cause fior suicide? I think not.
...and that's why becoming adult scares me. I'm only an adult by default - hell, I'm afraid of my 20th birthday (less that 100 days now :() - but the day when hanging out with other mature adults becomes cool is the day my existence officially becomes worthless. :D

When I was a kid I thought adults knew what they were doing and that their self-assuredness sprang from understanding the world. I'm currently hitting my mid-thirties and feel like I'm ad-libbing through life rather than following any kind of plan.

im thinking its about 50-50.

but its the "dont know what im doing" 50% that keeps life from getting too boring to go on with.

knowing everything and always getting it riight and always doing the right thing would be awful.

im 49

...and that's why becoming adult scares me. I'm only an adult by default - hell, I'm afraid of my 20th birthday (less that 100 days now :() - but the day when hanging out with other mature adults becomes cool is the day my existence officially becomes worthless. :D

False assumption: that other 'adults' are mature.


im 49

It ain't just some Gen X thing then.

im 49
...and providing some hope to my generation. :)

Wow, I'm posting in this a lot. That's either a severe lack of decent material here atm or my real hatred of aging coming into play.

It'll sneak up on you. One day, you'll wake up after having been at a friend's party, with your long term partner downstairs getting ready for work and you'll think 'hey, why am I not hung over?' And do you know why this will be? It'll be because you didn't get drunk. At a party.

At that point, you may as well commit suicide, because it'll go all Logan's Run on you after that.

Becoming an adult mostly means that you'll lose that kind of youthful optimism you're displaying here. :)

Very good question!

At 41 I know a lot more than I did at 16. Knowing a lot more means I also know that there IS a lot more to know... so in a way becoming more experienced in the world has opened up a Pandora's Box of options that show me just how much I DON'T know.

But I also realize that I have to make choices, decisions and choose directions based on what I do know, and doing so makes me I appear confident to people younger than myself. A 20 year old girl recently told me that I was her hero, because I always knew the right thing to say and could see the answers to problems that bogged her down. I assured her that all she had to do was stick around, and some day someone would tell her the same thing.

But a lot of the time, I know I am winging it. I suspect that is what MAKES us adults, the ability to make guesses and wing it based on experience and have it work out in the end... and to do so while giving the outward appearance of knowing what the hell we are doing even if we ARE just winging it.

What makes us GOOD adults is also having the grace to admit when we are wrong, and the ability to go back and fix what doesn't work. And I think that is the harder part to manage.

When I was a kid I thought adults knew what they were doing and that their self-assuredness sprang from understanding the world. I'm currently hitting my mid-thirties and feel like I'm ad-libbing through life rather than following any kind of plan.


Well, being an adult does not necessarily mean you understand the world....I sure as hell dont. But I understand me,and my "plan" has changed several times.Life is what it is....it's a bumpy roller coaster of a ride that sometimes leaves me breathless and sometimes leaves me hanging upside down. I hang in there and yes, sometimes make it up as I go along. But I am wiser and happier than I was say, 10 years ago. Getting older doesnt mean you're any less "cool" or "Fun". I am a f-ing blast and I'm 32.

You guys quit whining about getting older.

Getting older doesnt mean you're any less "cool" or "Fun". I am a f-ing blast and I'm 32.

I'm certainly a hell of a lot cooler than I was when I was 24 (and feel much less old*). As far as fun goes? Yeah, I certainly have a massive nostalgic attachment to a certain period of my earlier life, but realistically I am getting a chance to work harder at a thing I love these days, and nobody can steal those memories of that other phase away from me.

You guys quit whining about getting older.

Ain't so much whining as expressing my wonder at the deep mystery of more years under my belt: it's not so much a case of just getting older, but having had more and more life-affirming experiences and challenges to face. I am expressing my astonishment that I, somebody with no plan or apparently marketable skills, am getting a chance to work professionally night after night at something I deeply love and which remains fascinating, even at the end of another twelve hour day.

A 20 year old girl recently told me that I was her hero, because I always knew the right thing to say and could see the answers to problems that bogged her down.

A twenty-one year old girl I vaguely know described me as a 'superhero' a few weeks back (in an medium she had no expectation of me ever encountering (and with not a shred of sexual motivation)): it scared me somewhat. Likely not because I had answers**, but probably because of my zenarchist calm in the face of chaos.

Things I have learned in the past couple of years since my aforementioned 'other phase' ended:

1. a couple of 'tricks' for making friends with people and making them trust me when they have met me for the first time about five minutes ago,
2. don't sell yourself too cheap or you are just digging your own low-paid grave with the bridge of your own nose,
3. on a bad night telling yourself that tomorrow will be better cures a great deal of ills and soothes a great deal of worries,
4. the world continues to be an exciting and challenging place,
5. having a repair service you have faith in is worth going that extra mile for,
6. age is an accumulation of experiences, not the ticking of a clock,
7. even at the end of a day where just nothing goes right and everything you touch dies, if come when you're retiring to bed and have the makings of either a gin and tonic (with slice) or a pink gin, that counts as a small organisational victory,
8. in order of importance - vocals, kick, bass, snare, the rest is just icing,

and, perhaps most importantly,

9. don't eat the yellow snow.


____________

* althoug coming up to the age they nailed Jesus and put Miller through the Rosy Crucifixion does still seem like a bit of hurdle.

** I am still unsure what the hell the questions*** are, never mind what the answers could be.

*** ...and having studied philosophy in its varied forms for five years in another life, I'm still sceptical as to whether they are, in fact, questions.

I'm sorry BWO.....I should have said "Tribes, quit whining about getting older."

I totally get what you're saying. And may I add to the list of things learned:

"Always check caller ID before answering the phone."

And may I add to the list of things learned:

"Always check caller ID before answering the phone."

Ohmieffingohd, we're so totally getting into 'Sunscreen'* territory here.




* for the younger readers here - 'whoosh'.

when i was 18-20 i knew everything, now i'm 38 and i realize i know very little... some of that may be the wisdom to understand my own limitation, but some of it is also based on the fact that i really feel dumber now than i did then; my mind was sharp , my wit razor honed... all of which has atrophied under years of disuse(or miss use).

21, and closer to being an adult because I'm taller. The first time someone called me Mr, I was totally confused. It's still odd.

Ohmieffingohd, we're so totally getting into 'Sunscreen'* territory here.




* for the younger readers here - 'whoosh'.

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you one piece of advice for the future, sunscreen would be it.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

From "Coupling"
Susan: Sally, age brings wisdom and insight.

Sally: Age only brings you more to shave.

A twenty-one year old girl I vaguely know described me as a 'superhero' a few weeks back (in an medium she had no expectation of me ever encountering (and with not a shred of sexual motivation)): it scared me somewhat. Likely not because I had answers**, but probably because of my zenarchist calm in the face of chaos.


This made me laugh out loud, as the 20 year old girl who called me a hero did so WITH sexual motivation. I gently turned her down, but it amused me that you mentioned this.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

What, you thought we knew what we were doing? HAH!

...you know, I read your name as "Bottle" not what it is. And everytime I see that Koran in the toilet thread I read the title as "Korean" instead of Koran.

Upper Botswavia: ...why did you turn her down?!

Allow me to comment from my position of advanced years ( I'm 52 ). I will try very hard not to do the "adult" thing, i.e., "why, when I was your age"...

There are two very true sayings that I have become fond of over the years. #1...Youth is wasted on the young.

#2...Everybody is young and stupid at some point in their life.

I know for a fact that if I had known at 20 what I know now that I would not only be a millionaire, but I would be a HAPPY millionaire. My relationships would be in MUCH better condition than they are, and I would be pursuing that which I wanted to pursue instead of pursuing a living just so I can eat and be warm.

I tried to tell my kids that if they worked hard and smart from the time that they were 20 until the time they were 30 that they would be financially independant by the time they were 40. They listened somewhat......

Why all the emphasis on money? No, it doesn't buy you love, it doesn't keep you warm at night, nor does it listen when you need someone to talk to. But the single biggest thing it does for you is enable to do what you WANT to do instead of what you HAVE to do.

When you get to your mid-30's/early 40's and realize that your'e still looking to do those things you dreamt about at 20, something is/went wrong. One of the worst feelings is to look back and realize that if you had paid attention and applied yourself even half-again as much as you did, you wouldn't have so many regrets.

Don't misunderstand.......your'e never too old to start over. And over. And over. My wife and I are recent "empty-nesters" and are absolutely shit-faced-crazy- happy that we can get on w/life. She's going after her Doctorate, and I'm starting a long-thought-about business.

Enjoy life, yes. But don't let the years slide by and wake up one morning wondering how in the hell you got a wife, 3 kids, a mortgage, and a mini-van, then trugde off to your cubicle to do some more meaningless work for someone else who's getting richer by the day off of your work. Look around at the people who are happy and fulfilled (there are a few around). Money shouldn't be your main focus, but a major one yes. It does make life so much easier and pleasurable.

There..........maybe some of you will gather yourselves together and think a little about what your'e doing. Maybe. My experience is that very few will. But hope springs eternal.

There are no adults on NSG

There are no adults on NSG

Just like there are no women on teh interwebs? :p

Just like there are no women on teh interwebs? :p

Ain't nobody here but us chickens.

Age brings two things.

Wisdom from experience.

Aches and pains.

At 32, I can tell you, that im much like my younger self, and much different at the same time.
Im always going to be the same person Ive always been, Im just constantly evolving as everyone else does.

Ive always been rather quick on the uptake, and my younger self thought he knew everything.
As I get older, I realize that for everything I know, there are a hundred things I know nothing about.

These are the most important things to know, thus far:

1. When you leave your turbulent 20's behind you, dont wonder why you arent the person you thought you would be, just accept the person you have become.

2. Nothing on this earth, or anywhere else, is more important than family and friends.

3.Plans go awry, mistakes happen, and life goes on.

4. Golden Retreivers are good for the soul.
(Any big, goofy dog such as Labrador Retrivers, or German Shepards are acceptable as well.)

Theres others, but these are the most important.

I have resisted adulthood (for the most part successfully) for almost 40 years, and intend to keep resisting for at least the next 40.

Idon't want to grow up.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

Well I dunno about everyone else, but yeah I pretty much muddle my way through life. I don't plan anything to far in advance if at all.

Blag life FTW!:D

Idon't want to grow up.

Lemme guess...you're a Toys-R-Us kid? :p

Ohmieffingohd, we're so totally getting into 'Sunscreen'* territory here.




* for the younger readers here - 'whoosh'.
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you one piece of advice for the future, sunscreen would be it.
I hate that song!

Lemme guess...you're a Toys-R-Us kid? :p
Nope, Toy World!:D *

*Not at all...

When I was a kid I thought adults knew what they were doing and that their self-assuredness sprang from understanding the world. I'm currently hitting my mid-thirties and feel like I'm ad-libbing through life rather than following any kind of plan.
So welcome to the club.

Well, being an adult does not necessarily mean you understand the world....I sure as hell dont. But I understand me,and my "plan" has changed several times.Life is what it is....it's a bumpy roller coaster of a ride that sometimes leaves me breathless and sometimes leaves me hanging upside down. I hang in there and yes, sometimes make it up as I go along. But I am wiser and happier than I was say, 10 years ago. Getting older doesnt mean you're any less "cool" or "Fun". I am a f-ing blast and I'm 32.
Yeah, well, I have no clue about "me", and I'm 33. :/

9. don't eat the yellow snow. Never fails to crack me up. :p

Ohmieffingohd, we're so totally getting into 'Sunscreen'* territory here.




* for the younger readers here - 'whoosh'.
That song isn't that old!! Don't make me feel even older in your own thread. I would frown at you, but my botox won't let me.

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you one piece of advice for the future, sunscreen would be it.
Whew. Thanks. For a minute there... :p (we'll just conveniently ignore the fact that you're Australian and that's probably why you know it, heh >.<)

Ain't nobody here but us chickens. So you really are a girl? http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/images/smilies/custom/doubt.gif (woman always sounds so grown up ;))

I hate that song!

Why? 'Cause it's depressing? :p

Whew. Thanks. For a minute there... :p (we'll just conveniently ignore the fact that you're Australian and that's probably why you know it, heh >.<)


;)

Why? 'Cause it's depressing? :p
-snippage-
Sorry' you'll have to speak up, my dicky knee is playiing up.

Ah seniality, gots to love it:D !

Sorry' you'll have to speak up, my dicky knee is playiing up.

Ah seniality, gots to love it:D !

:eek: You do sound like an old man! :(

:eek: You do sound like an old man! :(
Like a Sugar Daddy?;) :p

Like a Sugar Daddy?;) :p

I was thinking something more along the lines of Eut... :eek::p

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?
Damnit... you figured it out. Just don't let the young'uns find out or the world will implode on itself.

Allow me to comment from my position of advanced years ( I'm 52 ). I will try very hard not to do the "adult" thing, i.e., "why, when I was your age"...

There are two very true sayings that I have become fond of over the years. #1...Youth is wasted on the young.

#2...Everybody is young and stupid at some point in their life.


ohmyGOD youre old!

youth is wasted on the young and everybody is young and stupid at some point in their life...

we are STILL wasting our youth and everybody is young and stupid right now.

just as we squandered our youth THEN, we are squandering our youth NOW. when you are 80, you will look at your 52 year old self and say "youth is wasted on the young".

Wisdom is wasted on the old!

I'm sorry BWO.....I should have said "Tribes, quit whining about getting older."
Hey, I'm 19, I'm supposed to dread getting older (in between bouts of drunkenness). Based on my own dealings with older people, I'd say that most of you guys are the exception to the rule - for a start, you all seem to know how to use computers :D - so I'll just stick with my Logan's Run hypothesis.

I think my reply in the 'Life Stages' thread is appropriate again here:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11841486&postcount=2

I agree - when you're a kid, adults know everything and if they make mistakes, they must be doing it deliberatly. When you grow up, you suddenly realise that life is a hell of a lot more complicated than you ever realised, and you've just got to muddle through it as best you can.

Why's life so complicated?

You do what you're told for the first 16-22 years (as if you had a choice), then eventually you leave school/university/whatever and find someone more gullible than all the other evil bastards out there to give you a job. You get a girlfriend. You then just have to get to work not-too-late, do what you're told, remember to eat, not be too callous and follow the instructions on the contraceptives.
All that's left is to fast-forward forty years so you can retire, but by the time you're 65 the goalpoasts have moved, it all goes Xeno's Paradox and you don't get to die in peace and quiet.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

Yep.

Lesseee... I have more responibilities, more headaches, less money and less brain cells. Yeah, I would have to say I just make crap up as I go along, but I refuse to act mature. It shortens general life expectancy overall.

i'm only legally an adult.

My glue smells like happy.


I am an adult.

Lesseee... I have more responibilities, more headaches, less money and less brain cells. Yeah, I would have to say I just make crap up as I go along, but I refuse to act mature. It shortens general life expectancy overall.

Or as my friend said "Being a grown-up sucks"

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

I thought that's what we were supposed to do.

Actually, I used to know everything. And take myself very seriously. Now I don't. Either one.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

It's not as if we were given a comprehebsive handbook on it.:p

I was thinking something more along the lines of Eut... :eek::p
I hope you are not implying that Eutrusca doesn't have a special charm with the ladies! :eek:

I hope you are not implying that Eutrusca doesn't have a special charm with the ladies! :eek:

I implied nothing. :p

What's wrong with making stuff work as you go along? I used to do the same when I was a kid...

Only difference being, now I actually have times that are absolutely, totally worry-free. I never had that as a kid.

I implied nothing. :p
Just that i was scoddy?:(

Just that i was scoddy?:(

I don't even know what that word means. :)

I don't even know what that word means. :)
Crusty

When I was a kid I thought adults knew what they were doing and that their self-assuredness sprang from understanding the world. I'm currently hitting my mid-thirties and feel like I'm ad-libbing through life rather than following any kind of plan.

Oh, I have a plan, its simple: I work hard, get my doctorate so I can make good money and help people, then save said money so that when I turn 55 I can reinvent myself as the next Hunter S Thompson. I'll travel the world violating social norms, drug laws, and general good taste. With any luck, I'll die in my late 60s shooting my way out of a totalitarian nation high to the gills on mescaline and driving an armored car with a PA system blasting J-Pop at volumes that most civilized folks would consider a war crime....

Plans always get ruined. I had planned to spend my life away from my overbearing, oversnobbish, upperclass mother - I'd already spent two years away form her homes in Luxembourg and Malta in uganda, doing some aid jobs. and then it clicked. I actually wanted to help these people - the so-called peasants whom my stepmother wouldn't have had me within a thousand miles of. So I ruined her plan for me to do the same as my elder sister, and marry 'well' to some dolt from Monaco. I then ruined my own plans when I was rushed to hospital with a broken spine and a broken rib - fell down a hole that'd been covered with grass. So I ruined my plans.Then I ruined my mother's plans for me - or more importantly, my money, to come to Malta and live with her. But then I just decided to throw a way plans, do the charity work as and when I could, and other than that, maybe even get a real job, rather than a 'TFFL' job. (Teaching of French as a Foreign Language) - no-one wants to know my other native language, Luxembourgish.

im thinking its about 50-50.

but its the "dont know what im doing" 50% that keeps life from getting too boring to go on with.

knowing everything and always getting it riight and always doing the right thing would be awful.

im 49

I'm 39 and I agree- I know about half of what I'm doing- the rest is a surprise.
Soemtimes its fun, sometimes it aint.

I keep trying,though.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

then choose, we either make it up as we go along, or we do what our Parents, and their Parents and their Parents before them have always done.

So, is it just me or are all of us supposed grown-ups just making it up as we go along?

I prefer to think that I'm figuring it out as I go along, but yeah, pretty much. :)

One day, you'll wake up after having been at a friend's party, with your long term partner downstairs getting ready for work and you'll think 'hey, why am I not hung over?' And do you know why this will be? It'll be because you didn't get drunk. At a party.

At that point, you may as well commit suicide, because it'll go all Logan's Run on you after that.

The Tribes Of Longton

When I was younger, I thought that feeling like an aldult meant being drunk.

How right I was.

You will be sigged, doubly:p

Yay! It's been a while. :D

Wait, that doesn't mean I'm getting boring and old does it? [/hasn't learned anything from this thread]

Or as my friend said "Being a grown-up sucks"

It definitely can suck... a lot, but ultimately I can stay up however late I want, eat what I want, go where I want and nobody can tell me what to do outside of work. Plus, I can have sex without having to worry about my parents walking in on me and flipping out.