NationStates Jolt Archive

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

LOL! This is just funny beyond reason! :D

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

LOL! This is just funny beyond reason! :D

This is funnier.
http://crazytelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

"YOU ARE A TERRORIST YOU ARE A LIFE DESTROYER!"
"ARRRGOOOOOGH!!!"

"Well your wife will leave you." Telemarketer: "I'm not married." "WHAT YOU AROOOGHHH YOU SAID YOU HAD A FAMILY!"

This is funnier.
http://crazytelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

"YOU ARE A TERRORIST YOU ARE A LIFE DESTROYER!"
"ARRRGOOOOOGH!!!"

"Well your wife will leave you." Telemarketer: "I'm not married." "WHAT YOU AROOOGHHH YOU SAID YOU HAD A FAMILY!"

That is actually annoying...

Exellent find.

That is actually annoying...
Too much like certain Forumers?

Too much like certain Forumers?

Nah, don't really consider screaming and threats funny...

That's awesome, thanks! :D

A classic story involving my grandpa.

Phone rings.

Grandpa: "Hello?"

Telemarketer: "May I speak with Mr. LeDuck?" (his last name, "LeDuc," is pronounced "la-duke," but people often mispronounce it as "la-duck")

Grandpa: "He's dead."

Telemarketer: "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll call back some other time."

Grandpa: "Well, he'll be dead then, too!"

Click.

I dont even give them a chance to speak, I just hang up. You can tell when you pick if they are a telemarketer, it is all fuzzy and a delay, then the indian accent....

Its a bit of a tradition in my family to burst into tears and tell the telemarketer that they person they are looking for is dead. :D

Even if telemarketters are annoying, they are people who are stuck in crappy jobs. They don't deserve your abuse. Telling them that the person they want to talk to is dead or that you don't buy over the phone are better methods, than insulting them...

Even if telemarketters are annoying, they are people who are stuck in crappy jobs. They don't deserve your abuse. Telling them that the person they want to talk to is dead or that you don't buy over the phone are better methods, than insulting them...

That's right.

Even if telemarketters are annoying, they are people who are stuck in crappy jobs. They don't deserve your abuse. Telling them that the person they want to talk to is dead or that you don't buy over the phone are better methods, than insulting them...

I'm sorry, but taking abuse is part of the job description. They have to know what they're getting into. If they expect that a job as a telemarketer will be all commission sales, happy times, sunshine, and kitten farts, then they are better off going and living under that rock they crawled out from under. And this goes triple for telemarketing scum that calls unlisted and/or private numbers. I have no problem threatening to call the FTC on people who call my home number. I have a private number that doesn't appear in phone books for a reason. I have better things to do than to cater to people who are being paid to bother me at home, especially when they call on a Saturday morning for my fiancee, who's usually asleep at the time.

I usually just hang up on them or pick up and put it down next to me while I do something loud.

Even if telemarketters are annoying, they are people who are stuck in crappy jobs. They don't deserve your abuse. Telling them that the person they want to talk to is dead or that you don't buy over the phone are better methods, than insulting them...

You ought to try working night shift, and getting woke up every hour or so by some jackass who wants to sell you something. For three years I left the phone off the hook because that was the only way to escape them.

I find it to be interesting how the telemarketers phone #s are no longer allowed to come up as "marked private or out of area" or "unknown" which in fact some still do but others are now appearing on my cell phone as "0000000000"

For those of you who don't know about the "Do Not Call" registry, heres the link:

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

Even if telemarketters are annoying, they are people who are stuck in crappy jobs. They don't deserve your abuse. Telling them that the person they want to talk to is dead or that you don't buy over the phone are better methods, than insulting them...

Very true. I know a cousin who works in a call centre in India and it is not a great job. It pays well, but the work schedule, the abuse and the monotony is very stressful.

I always have fun when an Indian caller calls me.

Caller: Hi XXXX this is Steve...

Me: Yaar, tera sahi naam bolo (Dude, tell me your real name)

Caller: <long pause> we are not supposed to say that...

Me: Don't worry...by the way, where are you right now

Caller: Bangalore/Chennai/@#@#@

Me: Oh, so how is it now there, howz the weather...


------------------

See, I am the only person in the world who actually looks forward to telemarketers. They are an easy and cheap way to update myself about news back home. :p :D

Supposedly Americans are the most abusive to telemarketers.

We're #1!

Supposedly Americans are the most abusive to telemarketers.

We're #1!

That's what my cousin says, but I dunno for sure....it could also be due to the large # of calls made to American consumers...compared to other countries...

My number's unlisted, so I just rant at them, asking how they got my number. They get all apologetic, and you can just imagine them cowering in their chair. It's even better when you get a telemarketer from a company that doesn't let them hang up on you, because you can go on and on at them for ages, when they could be calling someone else. I like to think I'm offering a public service there.

I sometimes say, "I bet you smell nice"
Just to throw them.

Even if you think it's in your right to rant and curse at them, stop and think for a minute. These are still people trying ot get by in a harsh, cruel world where only a few are lucky to have a job fall into their lap.

The bills have to be paid for somehow. Would you rather these people be on welfare, leeching off an overburdened, yawning void of a system that yiour tax payer dollars are swallowed up in, to be subject to abuse by a few unscrupolous individuals, or... would you rather people have jobs?

Do you think that these people woke up one morning and decided, "you know what? I'm sick of being treated with respect, I'm going to find a job where people yell and abuse me because that would be just swell."

I doubt it.

I sometimes say, "I bet you smell nice"
Just to throw them.

ROTFLMAO!!!:p

I used to be a telemarketer. One of the funner jobs I've had, because I'd mess with people like you.

"I bet you smell nice."
"I don't know, lemme ask... 'HEY JOHN! DO I SMELL PURTY?' He says no :(."

I looked forward to people trying to throw me off or mess with me. I had one man convinced I was really a Vietnam amputee just trying to get by, because he had been really rude to me. Nearly had him in tears by the end of the call.

ROTFLMAO!!!:p

I used to be a telemarketer. One of the funner jobs I've had, because I'd mess with people like you.

"I bet you smell nice."
"I don't know, lemme ask... 'HEY JOHN! DO I SMELL PURTY?' He says no :(."

I looked forward to people trying to throw me off or mess with me. I had one man convinced I was really a Vietnam amputee just trying to get by, because he had been really rude to me. Nearly had him in tears by the end of the call.

The only reason to be a telemarketer would be to play with people.

My dad successfully pulled off the Seinfeld ploy.

Telemarketer: Hello sir, I'm calling you today to...

Dad: I'm sorry, this is a bad time, can I get your home number so I can call you back later about this?

T: Um... we're not supposed to do that.

D: I guess you don't want people calling you at home, huh?

T: Well, no, not really.

D: Good. Now you know how I feel. Click.

St Jello Biafra;11835597']My dad successfully pulled off the Seinfeld ploy.

Telemarketer: Hello sir, I'm calling you today to...

Dad: I'm sorry, this is a bad time, can I get your home number so I can call you back later about this?

T: Um... we're not supposed to do that.

D: I guess you don't want people calling you at home, huh?

T: Well, no, not really.

D: Good. Now you know how I feel. Click.

You see... that is a fair way of going about it.

The only reason to be a telemarketer would be to play with people.

Eh, it didn't pay horrible (I averaged $1000 a week in sales commissions...not brilliant compared to a real jiob, but definately above average considering I was 15 at the time.)

St Jello Biafra;11835597']My dad successfully pulled off the Seinfeld ploy.

Telemarketer: Hello sir, I'm calling you today to...

Dad: I'm sorry, this is a bad time, can I get your home number so I can call you back later about this?

T: Um... we're not supposed to do that.

D: I guess you don't want people calling you at home, huh?

T: Well, no, not really.

D: Good. Now you know how I feel. Click.

Get your dad on NS. He deserves a cookie. :D

Having worked as a phone sales guy, here's a few random comments.

SOP for bastards is to mark them as potentials. That means they'll get called far more often. Some places lets the sales guy mark down when it's best to call, and some guys will take advantage of it if they feel a bit of payback is in order.

Insane mayhem like the thing in the OP are hillarious. If you have the time & the talent for messing with telemarketers like that, don't be shy. The job is mindnumbingly boring, so if you can manage to break the routine without victimizing the guy on the other end, go for it. After the first time it happened to me, I spend most of my work hours hoping it'd happen again. Sadly, it's very rare.

Finally, I never worked at a place, nor have I ever known anyone that worked at a place, where you can't get your number blacklisted if you ask. Most places instruct the sales guys not to mention it unless they're asked, so you have to bring it up. Still, asking to get blacklisted takes all of 5 seconds. Hanging up on the same company twice takes longer than that.

Finally, I've twice called heartbroken widows. Both times it took me a couple of minutes to realize they probably weren't messing with me, because some screwed up people actually do that sort of thing. Don't be one of them. It's not funny to believe you've just made a perfect stanger fall apart. I can't even see how it's fun to go "Hehehehe, I just made someone feel utterly horrified & disgusted with himself. Fortunately he probably can't quit his job, because it's the only one he can get, so he'll just have to feel rotten until he catches a break or dies of old age."

Would you rather these people be on welfare, leeching off an overburdened, yawning void of a system that yiour tax payer dollars are swallowed up in, to be subject to abuse by a few unscrupolous individuals, or... would you rather people have jobs?

A bit of a false dichotomy, in my opinion. Given the choice between these people living on welfare or bothering me at home, I'll pass on both. We need to reform welfare a bit and get these people into job training so they can do something better with their lives than bother people at home. I don't care that they don't enjoy doing it. Frankly, parents don't enjoy punishing their children (well, most don't,) but they do it because they have no other choice.

Frankly, if I have to pay a few extra bucks out of my taxes so these people don't have to be employed by telemarketing firms, I'll do it. And frankly, a lot of these jobs are going overseas anyway. If they lose their jobs, it doesn't clog up our welfare system. Not that I am uncaring toward them, but it doesn't mean I have to be nice to them.

Why should i care if some guy who is most likely on the other side of the globe is employed or not? Should we pay people to scratch thier nails on chaulk boards too so we can employ even more people around the world ? Cable and phone companies are the worst of the lot with credit card companies giving them a good run for thier money for bullshit offers you dont want/need or give a crap about.

The best way to deal with telemarketers is if you have small children in the house. Whenever they ask for you just give the phone to one of the kids. For you its a win/win. Most kids love talking to people on the phone and you can entertain the kid and get annoying phone calls dealt with in one fell swoop. Its also fun to see how long the telemarketers will stay on the line talking to a toddeler who would be happy as a clam chatting on the phone all day.

I found that paying the $1.75 to have an unlisted phone number the most effective way to get rid of telemarketers. After that I only got the rare ones that have the random computer generated numbers.

theres a national do not call registry, grow up and sign up for it.

These people are usually uneducated, struggling to make ends meet. hang up the phone, dont answer it or like i said before just put your name on the registry. Calmly saying "place me on your do not call list" will usually work more effectively than behaving like a jackass. when i was a telemarketer, we would ALWAYS put you down to be called back whenever you thought you were funny. id also give people my home number because face it... you are too much of a pussy to call me and i am up all hours of the night so what do i care?

http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/usa/icbm/lgm-30_3.htm

That's the best way to get rid of telemarketers.

theres a national do not call registry, grow up and sign up for it.

Because the National Registry has too many loopholes. Because i used Verizon as a phone service like a year ago and cancelled, they are allowed for some reason to call me with idiotic offers and not be obligated by the Registry.I once bought underwear at WalMart. That doesnt mean i want Walmart calling me if they happen to have a sale on socks.

I have Cable channels 2-13. THATS ALL THE CHANNELS i want. Time Warner will STILL call you asking about thier wonderful new HBO package no matter what I say ask or do. If i demand to be taken off lists of companies that were ex businesses i used, that seemed to work. For a few months. Then it starts all over again. Hell i got a credit card recently and i got calls on all these wonderful special benefits and offers this company provided BEFORE I EVEN GOT MY CARD IN THE MAIL! And multiple calls at that. National Registrys dont stop that.

Oh and my University calling every 3 months asking for donations, where please dont call me back turns into that intern crossing my name of his list with a crayon until the next semesters bunch of interns calls to harass me again. Again, no such luck on the registries there. So consequently people tired and worn of the constant battle to not be harassed tend to come up with other ways of dealing with it.

As soon as you figue out what he is, get the whistle you have beside your phone. Blow. Hard. Long. You name will be on the list of people whom not to call soon.

One of the things I would try to do if a telemarketer call me is I would try to sell them something.

Caller: Hello Mr. (last name) I'm Jeff from Bell South...

Me: Hello Jeff, and thank you for calling Boeing Aircraft corp.

Caller: Well I am calling you today to let you know about a special that we're running....

Me: That sounds great Jeff, now Jeff, just to confirm your order, you ordered the Boeing 747-400 with all the options right?

Caller: Ummm...

Me: Well great, you know the Boeing 747 is the best aircraft of our fleet, and I think you're really going to love it. Now the cost of the aircraft will come to $1.5 million.

Caller: I didn't order any aircraft.

Me: Well your name is Jeff right?

Caller: Yes

Me: Well we have you right here for an order of a Boeing 747-400. Now how would you like to pay for your new aircraft?

*click*

St Jello Biafra;11835597']My dad successfully pulled off the Seinfeld ploy.

Telemarketer: Hello sir, I'm calling you today to...

Dad: I'm sorry, this is a bad time, can I get your home number so I can call you back later about this?

T: Um... we're not supposed to do that.

D: I guess you don't want people calling you at home, huh?

T: Well, no, not really.

D: Good. Now you know how I feel. Click.Impostor! :)

This is funnier.
http://crazytelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

"YOU ARE A TERRORIST YOU ARE A LIFE DESTROYER!"
"ARRRGOOOOOGH!!!"

"Well your wife will leave you." Telemarketer: "I'm not married." "WHAT YOU AROOOGHHH YOU SAID YOU HAD A FAMILY!"

lol, I love that one :D