NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm bipolar, and I'm tired of constant adjustment of meds that really never seem to quite do the trick. My current medication seems to control my mood swings quite well. But there are still some negatives. I have to have blood tests every week, because Fazaclo can have some really nasty, possibly fatal side effects. Plus I have to have the results faxed to the pharmacy every week before I can pick up my weekly refill.
The inconveniece isn't the only problem. I feel like critical thinking, or even reading anything longer than a few paragraphs, is like trynig to run thigh deep in Jello. Calmer but dumber. My Dr., of course, would much rather have me medicated. At least I'm not suicidally depressed or madly manic.
What would you do?

Eat a lot of chocolatey goods.

well it isn't really a matter of what you want any more so i can't preach that you should be yourself, since you are on medication. neither can you objectively assess your possibilities because you cannot fully understand your medicated/non-medicated condition when you are in the other state. so i should say go with what suits your life... if people don't mind you getting depressed or whatever and would prefer to be at full capacity in your other aptitudes then by all means do not take medication (i know this is what i would do). however if your quality of life is better due to drugs then why not? in the end is up to you (which must be frustrating for the reasons i presented above).

Very frustrating. I want the best of both worlds. I haven't gotten around to accepting I can't have it.

Thigh deep in jello. Boy, that brings back memories!

Uh... what?

Here's my problem with the way they treat bipolar disorder: They destroy the happy fun part at the same time they destroy the yucky bad part. We need to find a way to treat just the yucky bad part and let people enjoy the happy fun part. *nod*

Since I am not Bipolar, nor do I know anyone who is...




I can only offer hopes and prayers a solution that you can live with will be found. :(

*reads thread title*
*sterilizes Bitchkitten*

There, all done!

Thigh deep in jello. Boy, that brings back memories!

Uh... what?

Here's my problem with the way they treat bipolar disorder: They destroy the happy fun part at the same time they destroy the yucky bad part. We need to find a way to treat just the yucky bad part and let people enjoy the happy fun part. *nod*True, the manic phases can be quite enjoyable. But when you come down, you have some hellacious messes to fix. My house is really clean and I lose weight. But I'm still paying off my 2000 dollars in traffic tickets and my bank closed my account because I was so consistantly overdrawn.

*reads thread title*
*sterilizes Bitchkitten*

There, all done!LOL
My dad always threatened to take me to the vet.

Very frustrating. I want the best of both worlds. I haven't gotten around to accepting I can't have it.

well personally i said i would not take the drugs but that's because i have this certain fascination with any sort of mental deviation (well maybe except mental retardation; stupidity apparently is not deviant these days though:p ) and an almost pathological interest in members of the opposite sex exhibiting bypolar, dissociate personality disorder etc. ... it is also a philosophical approach i take that the "socially undesirable" state in which you find yourself is more "you" than drugs will ever provide. unfortunately neither i, nor anyone else on this forum is entitled to offer anything more than advice/support and if you feel you cannot make the decission yourself then you will have to rely on those around you which will be the most influenced by the consequences of your choice...

PS: goodluck with whatever you choose

Phase out the meds. Walk ten miles a day until it's easy, then walk twenty.

(Not medical advice).

you know BK.. did you bring these points up with your doctor?

if he can't recommend something different, you should seek a second opinion.

You may have noticed I live in BFE. I see the only shrink within 40 miles. I could see another if I wanted to drive the 70 miles to Oklahoma City. The whole thing is a pain in the ass.
So I decided I'd rather whine semi-anonymously on the forum than to those I know in RL. They can ignore me more easily if it annoys them.

Phase out the meds. Walk ten miles a day until it's easy, then walk twenty.

(Not medical advice).

Bingo.

What you need is to find yourself a philosophy whereby your mind becomes so busy with determining the source of, cause of, and reasons for your problems, and have fun loopholing your way out of them. Start by losing the meds.

my mom is bipolar and had the same "brain fog" until they made a slight adjustment to her anti-psychotic... you might ask your doctor what kind of leeway you have dosage-wise on your meds.

I deal with my depression with alcohol, cigarettes, and weed. This may not be the most healthy thing to do but it works for me. Maybe you too?

Bipolars tend to be medicated regardless of if they take what the doctor gives or if they self medicate.

Dont be stupid, do not listen to these feebs who are suggesting you stop taking your medication--they dont know you--and no they dont.

They dont know your history, how severe your condition is and other medical issues which may play a factor.

Smunkie gives the most sound and adult advice.

Medicate.

Well, I guess it depends on whether you have any goals for your life you need to stick around for or be functional enough to pull off. I guess it depends on how much you value life overall. I guess it depends on how much those that love you want you to stick around and how much they value your life.

I had a friend as a teenager. He was a diabetic. He prefered to self medicate with alcohol, weed, etc. He did not like medicating with insulin, those needle sticks for monitoring his blood glucose were a hassle, and he resented having his food choices restricted. Thus,...blister on foot became infected. Foot became gangrenous. Foot was cut off. Leg wouldn't heal. Part of leg was cut off. Leg wouldn't heal. More leg was cut off. Leg wouldn't heal. MORE LEG WAS CUT OFF. Didn't matter in the end though--because he was dead before he turned thirty.

Like I said, It's an aspect of your life that you just can't make go away. Just depends on what you want to do with it anyway.

Bipolars tend to be medicated regardless of if they take what the doctor gives or if they self medicate.

Dont be stupid, do not listen to these feebs who are suggesting you stop taking your medication--they dont know you--and no they dont.

They dont know your history, how severe your condition is and other medical issues which may play a factor.

Smunkie gives the most sound and adult advice.

Medicate.I self medicated for years before I was diagnosed. Chalk up my failed marraige to that shit. But it did have it's fun side.

I self medicated for years before I was diagnosed. Chalk up my failed marraige to that shit. But it did have it's fun side.

fun side... is that in reference to the self medicating or the failed marrage?

fun side... is that in reference to the self medicating or the failed marrage?

Im guessing its the self medicating part, which I can say does have its fun moments.

I'm bipolar, and I'm tired of constant adjustment of meds that really never seem to quite do the trick. My current medication seems to control my mood swings quite well. But there are still some negatives. I have to have blood tests every week, because Fazaclo can have some really nasty, possibly fatal side effects. Plus I have to have the results faxed to the pharmacy every week before I can pick up my weekly refill.
The inconveniece isn't the only problem. I feel like critical thinking, or even reading anything longer than a few paragraphs, is like trynig to run thigh deep in Jello. Calmer but dumber. My Dr., of course, would much rather have me medicated. At least I'm not suicidally depressed or madly manic.
What would you do?
Do you have a happy, healthy lifestyle with plenty of good food, excercise and laughter?

I self medicated for years before I was diagnosed. Chalk up my failed marraige to that shit. But it did have it's fun side.

sure, and mania is fun until you crash and realize that you really screwed up a lot of stuff.

My mom was uberfun when she was hypo manic until we got evicted because she spent all our money on buying random stuff and we ended up homeless for months on end.

I also self medicated for a number of years, and no matter how much I thought I was functioning the truth was that I wasn't.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you to stop your meds, you can't do that and end up in a pretty position, I promise, years of living with a bipolar person have taught me that. I know you feel like crap and when you first go off your meds you feel great, and I know you have that part of you that just wants to quit medicating at all because you feel like you are not yourself, but it's not going to fix anything.....please just write down everything and take it to your doctor and refuse to leave until he fixes your meds... Please.

sure, and mania is fun until you crash and realize that you really screwed up a lot of stuff.

My mom was uberfun when she was hypo manic until we got evicted because she spent all our money on buying random stuff and we ended up homeless for months on end.

I also self medicated for a number of years, and no matter how much I thought I was functioning the truth was that I wasn't.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you to stop your meds, you can't do that and end up in a pretty position, I promise, years of living with a bipolar person have taught me that. I know you feel like crap and when you first go off your meds you feel great, and I know you have that part of you that just wants to quit medicating at all because you feel like you are not yourself, but it's not going to fix anything.....please just write down everything and take it to your doctor and refuse to leave until he fixes your meds... Please.

I agree. meds can be a good thing, I'm thinking of getting some myself, but thats another matter.

fun side... is that in reference to the self medicating or the failed marrage?The self-medicating. But staying out all night several nights a week didn't sit well with my husband. He'd plaintively ask "are you coming home tonight?" Poor guy. It wasn't until after my divorce that I was diagnosed. I believe I was manic when I decided to leave. The nicest thing I ever did for him was the divorce.

I deal with my depression with alcohol, cigarettes, and weed. This may not be the most healthy thing to do but it works for me. Maybe you too?

ya, and the alcohol and weed will lead to another $2000 in court costs. The last thing she needs.

I agree. meds can be a good thing, I'm thinking of getting some myself, but thats another matter.
As frustrated as I am, my life is a lot less of a mess now. I just want the orderly life with a clear head. Too much to ask?

Fix me

You're not broken, love. You just need to get out of OK. ;)

You're not broken, love. You just need to get out of OK. ;)
:fluffle:

:fluffle:

Yay!

You have a TG, by the way.

As frustrated as I am, my life is a lot less of a mess now. I just want the orderly life with a clear head. Too much to ask?

not at all, I have similar feelings