NationStates Jolt Archive


Elephant Crosses Border

MeansToAnEnd
14-10-2006, 00:18
At first, I thought this was a spoof article. However, I now think that it's real, and indicates the shoddy state of our border security.

October 11, 2006 — Reports of an elephant crossing the river or people trying to smuggle an elephant across were rampant Tuesday while an elaborate political stunt was taking shape near the mouth of the Rio Grande.

It was a while later that the stunt, which was a photo shoot, was abruptly met by federal agents.

“The elephant never made landfall into Mexico, but I tell you something, he could have made 15 laps back and forth, but no one showed up,” said Raj Peter Bhakta, a former star on the NBC show “The Apprentice,” who also is a Republican candidate for the 13th District U.S. House of Representatives seat in Eastern Pennsylvania.

Three elephants, two African and an Asian, were taken out to a ranch near Boca Chica beach to perform, the 31-year-old Bhakta said.

He was in Brownsville to raise funds with friends and decided to get a first-hand look at border security while he was here, he said.

In Brownsville, he witnessed half a dozen men swim under one of the international bridges “with complete immunity” which in turn prompted him to take the immigration issue to the next level.

Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river.

According to his Web site, he is in favor of “sensible immigration reform” and supports a border fence, local law enforcement assistance with immigration laws and the use of the National Guard troops to help the U.S. Border Patrol.

“To my surprise, the band played on, the elephants splashed away, and nobody showed up,” Bhakta said of the stunt. “I’m astounded.”

The elephants came from Shrine Circuses, said James Plunkett, who produces the circus. They arrived in Brownsville on Monday and were scheduled to be on their way to Maybank on Tuesday afternoon. The elephants and the crew were at the Rio Grande for less than an hour, Plunkett said.

Plunkett said he and his crew were hired for a “photo shoot” and entered the Boca Chica beach area without any notice from the Border Patrol. However, when it became clear that the elephants were in a quarantined area, the Border Patrol alerted the U.S. Department of Agriculture, and the elephants had to be detained.

The animals needed to be sprayed for ticks.

Rumors made their way around town and back to Plunkett and his crew, he said.

“We were hearing all kinds of crazy stuff ourselves,” Plunkett said.

Someone reported to the Border Patrol that people were smuggling elephants, he said.

Bhakta was getting on a plane Tuesday afternoon shortly after the USDA released the elephants and they began their journey back to Maybank.

He said he was “staggered” by what happened on Tuesday and was planning on sharing the story with his potential constituents.

“If I can get an elephant led by a mariachi band into this country, I think Osama bin Laden could get across with all the weapons of mass destruction he could get into this country,” Bhakta said.

The mariachi band was not immediately available for comment.

Source: http://www.brownsvilleherald.com/ts_more.php?id=73201_0_10_0_M.
Ifreann
14-10-2006, 00:20
How very odd.
Congo--Kinshasa
14-10-2006, 00:23
How very odd.

Aye.
Llewdor
14-10-2006, 00:24
he witnessed half a dozen men swim under one of the international bridges “with complete immunity”
I believe the word they wanted there was "impunity".

Not the sort of mistake I'd expect from a newspaper.
Ifreann
14-10-2006, 00:26
Also, I don't see how smuggling in an elephant and a mariachi band is as easy or easier than smuggling in one of the most wanted men in the world and some weapons of mass destruction. The Border Patrol may not be watching out for elephants, but I bet they could spot someone who looks Middle Eastern entering the southern border of Mexico.
German Nightmare
14-10-2006, 00:33
"Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river."

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/elefant.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gif
Chandelier
14-10-2006, 00:36
"Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river."

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/elefant.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gif

Wow, that's awesome.

That is rather strange.
CthulhuFhtagn
14-10-2006, 00:38
Somehow, I doubt a fence would stop an elephant. His plan fails.
Dobbsworld
14-10-2006, 00:41
I believe the word they wanted there was "impunity".

Not the sort of mistake I'd expect from a newspaper.

But it's just the sort of mistake I'd expect from some hitherto-unknown backwater rag like the - what was it again? The Brownsville Herald?
German Nightmare
14-10-2006, 00:42
Wow, that's awesome.

That is rather strange.
And mind you, I ain't high. ;)
IL Ruffino
14-10-2006, 00:44
lol.
Katganistan
14-10-2006, 01:40
Also, I don't see how smuggling in an elephant and a mariachi band is as easy or easier than smuggling in one of the most wanted men in the world and some weapons of mass destruction. The Border Patrol may not be watching out for elephants, but I bet they could spot someone who looks Middle Eastern entering the southern border of Mexico.

This statement should not be taken as anything other than a neutral observation: If the border patrol can't manage to spot thousands of Mexican people crossing the border into the US, what makes you think they'll spot a single Middle Easterner? They're not exactly going through at the checkpoints.
The Nazz
14-10-2006, 01:44
I believe the word they wanted there was "impunity".

Not the sort of mistake I'd expect from a newspaper.
It's in quotes--I wonder who made the mistake, the reporter or the candidate being quoted?
The Nazz
14-10-2006, 01:45
"Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river."

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/elefant.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gif

Where in the fuck did you come up with that?
Bitchkitten
14-10-2006, 01:49
I believe the word they wanted there was "impunity".

Not the sort of mistake I'd expect from a newspaper.Our local rag had an ad in the classified for a "gentile" horse.
Zilam
14-10-2006, 01:52
Where in the fuck did you come up with that?

I was just wondering the same thing.
Katganistan
14-10-2006, 01:53
Our local rag had an ad in the classified for a "gentile" horse.

Oy vey!
The Psyker
14-10-2006, 02:50
Oy vey!

Haha.
Branin
14-10-2006, 11:51
"Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river."

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/elefant.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gif

This whole thread is rather odd....


I like it.
Demented Hamsters
14-10-2006, 12:16
Well, it's a good thing that's there's not many elephants in Mexico then, isn't it?
Gravlen
14-10-2006, 12:18
"The mariachi band was not immediately available for comment." http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/music024.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

:D
Hobabwe
14-10-2006, 12:26
I'd love to read the transcript of the border patrol debrief :P

I mean, how much shit are the guys on duty getting tossed on to them for letting three (3!) elephants cross the border without anyone noticing, it's not like they're incon-fucking-specuous are they ? :D
Gravlen
14-10-2006, 13:59
"Nope, none shall pass while we're watching. Always vigilant!" http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/violent045.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/emo/transport025.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/emo/merv/ymca.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/emo/transport025.gif
Ifreann
14-10-2006, 14:04
"Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river."

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/elefant.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gifhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/mariachi.gif
You win the universe again. All glory to the smiliey god!

This statement should not be taken as anything other than a neutral observation: If the border patrol can't manage to spot thousands of Mexican people crossing the border into the US, what makes you think they'll spot a single Middle Easterner? They're not exactly going through at the checkpoints.
Hmmm, this is true.
"Nope, none shall pass while we're watching. Always vigilant!" http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/violent045.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/emo/transport025.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/emo/merv/ymca.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/emo/transport025.gif

YMCA, it's fun to stay at the YMCA*does actions*

ohsnap, too many pics
German Nightmare
14-10-2006, 14:40
Where in the fuck did you come up with that?
It's the first thing that came to my mind upon reading the article.
I was just wondering the same thing.
Yes. My mind is a strange place to be.
This whole thread is rather odd....
I like it.
Thanks.
You win the universe again. All glory to the smiliey god!
I'm not a god, I'm just the keeper. ;) Thanks, though. You flatter me.


I like the subtle use of the drummer smiley very much, not to forget the YMCA. Classic!
Whereyouthinkyougoing
14-10-2006, 14:42
"The mariachi band was not immediately available for comment." http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/music024.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

:D
Yeah, that is by far the best sentence in the whole article. It almost makes the whole thing careen off into parody. :p