NationStates Jolt Archive

(For those who don't know, I live in a shared house, something like a grown up version of a dorm.)

Last night when I got home, I discovered that about US$30 worth of my food had been taken from the common fridge. We usually don't have problems with food theivery. But all the people who might have taken it accidentaly have said they didn't (except for 1, and I haven't had a chance to ask him yet, but he's not on my suspect list).


So, I come to the wicked minds of NSG for help catching the cuprit or teaching this person a lesson.

ONE RULE:
Absolutely no advocating illegal or seriously harmful acts.

ONE RULE:
Absolutely no advocating illegal or seriously harmful acts.
Neither cyanide nor DDT then.. Ok, I'm out.

EDIT: Actually, if you just want to catch the wanker, lots & lots of food colour will do the trick. It's perfectly harmless & if you add a whole tube, your thief will be pissing the colour for a couple of days. Fun for the whole family.

Spike lots of the food with stool softener.

Inject heroin into all your food. When you wake up and on of your friends is in the hospital or rolling around on your floor, you have found your theif.

(For those who don't know, I live in a shared house, something like a grown up version of a dorm.)

Last night when I got home, I discovered that about US$30 worth of my food had been taken from the common fridge. We usually don't have problems with food theivery. But all the people who might have taken it accidentaly have said they didn't (except for 1, and I haven't had a chance to ask him yet, but he's not on my suspect list).


So, I come to the wicked minds of NSG for help catching the cuprit or teaching this person a lesson.

ONE RULE:
Absolutely no advocating illegal or seriously harmful acts.
what kind of food are we talking about.. a bucket from KFC or stuff taht needs to be cooked?

one thing you can do is keep the food out till it spoils then put it in the fridge.

another thing you can do is set up a hidden camera and get proof.

record the theft repeatedly and have the food labeled properly, so that the exscuse "I didn't know it was yours" or "it was a mistake" cannot be used. If it's one person, then let everyone else know. if it's more then one person... consider moving.

I had a roommate who stopped stealing my food when she discovered a (very well packaged) fetal pig brain in my refrigerator. (Hey, my biology teacher not only gave me permission, she helped me do it! It wasn't MY fault she was going through MY stuff.)

The other option is stool softener, or an acid/base indicator, which turns the urine pretty colors. It can be hidden easily in darker foods like brownies or chocolate cake.

I read this trick somewhere once: mix ground cayenne pepper into something where it won't be noticed. Non-fatal, non-criminal, but you'll definitely know who the thief is...

I can't really recommend a food since I don't know what they've been pilfering, but hey... let your imagination run wild. ;)

Laxative Brownies or a hidden camera are classics, but I would recommend mixing a dozen or so habanero (note the absence of accent mark) peppers in with some innocuous looking food substance (rocky road ice cream).
You'll catch your food thief when someone starts screaming in pain and drinking straight from the tap.

mini-mousetrap inside the food package, maybe?

If you don't want to go the laxative way, you could always crumble up a packet of imodium into the food.
Poor sod will think he's shitting a wardrobe.

When everyone's together, announce that you wiped your knob-end over your food. Look for the extra-disgust that would give the perp away.

Exlax something just make sure it looks appealing, your thief will be easy to spot afterwards.

I would recommend mixing a dozen or so habanero (note the absence of accent mark) peppers in with some innocuous looking food substance (rocky road ice cream).
You'll catch your food thief when someone starts screaming in pain and drinking straight from the tap.
Reminds me: I tried chocolate-and-chilli flavoured ice cream the other day (made with fresh chilli). Bloody awesome it was. Tasted chocolate at first (no surprises there: your sweet taste buds are on the tip of your tongue) then pretty damn spicy as it went down.
Gotta go back and get some more.
They also had curry-flavoured ice-cream, which could be a go.

try this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O82srO9E6xk)

Exlax something just make sure it looks appealing, your thief will be easy to spot afterwards.

especially when you mess with the Toilet plumbing... :D

OMG, I totally saw something related on 4Chan.org.

Somebody took some soup or something and mixed in water from the toilet. Then, they left a note in the fridge informing the theif of this and warning them that from that point on one of their food items would be booby trapped at all times.

The thief can't do anything without admiting that they stole your food and even if they did it's your food to do with whatyou want.

giant mouse trap?

OMG, I totally saw something related on 4Chan.org.

Somebody took some soup or something and mixed in water from the toilet. Then, they left a note in the fridge informing the theif of this and warning them that from that point on one of their food items would be booby trapped at all times.

The thief can't do anything without admiting that they stole your food and even if they did it's your food to do with whatyou want.

sounds like the Watermelon joke.

a farmer, tired of his watermelons being cut open and eaten by some kids from a near by town, left a sign that was noticable and it read... "One of these watermelons has been injected with Pesticide." the idea was to make the kids so nervous that they'd leave his watermelons alone... and the next day, he looked out on his feilds and saw none of the watermelons were touched. however, when he got to his sign, he noticed that the kids added a cardboard on it that read "... Now there are Two."

so if your theif has any humour... :rolleyes:

mini-mousetrap inside the food package, maybe?
giant mouse trap?

Sounds good. :D

giant mouse trap?

the Glue pad one?

*imagines the culprit trying to remove the incriminating items from his stuck hand.*

the Glue pad one?

*imagines the culprit trying to remove the incriminating items from his stuck hand.*

I was kinda liking the giant snapping kind, but it could be a mix of both...glue on the food, and a giant snapper to catch him after.

or maybe a humane trap...then you can cattleprod him:)

ONE RULE:
Absolutely no advocating illegal or seriously harmful acts.

So I cant advise you to rig a spring loaded iron bar covered in rusty razor blades to the inside of the fridge?
Or possibly replace the fridges lightbulb with one that you filled with a mixture of ordinary soap and gasoline?
>_>
<_<
Still, those would be cool.

If you want to be un-cool and not kill him, fix one of those cheap 'pull alarms' to the inside of the fridge door. Its basically a gunpowder charge just big enough to go 'pop!' and not harm anything.
if you dont get to the fridge fast enough the fecal matter on his pants should be a giveaway.

Shove a rabid Howler monkey inside the fridge before you go to bed.



You'll soon be able to ascertain the thief.

Shove a rabid Howler monkey inside the fridge before you go to bed.



You'll soon be able to ascertain the thief.

I think that even a blind and very stupid thief would be able to determine the source of the loud screeching and banging.
Plus the monkey might get out, and THEN you would have to explain to all your roomates why you put a rabid howler monkey in the fridge and let it escape and give them all rabies AND hurl poo at them.

I think that even a blind and very stupid thief would be able to determine the source of the loud screeching and banging.
Plus the monkey might get out, and THEN you would have to explain to all your roomates why you put a rabid howler monkey in the fridge and let it escape and give them all rabies AND hurl poo at them.

That would definitely be one of those explanations you would start with, "Funny story there...."
and you'd finish with, "One day, you'll look back on this and laugh."

That would definitely be one of those explanations you would start with, "Funny story there...."
and you'd finish with, "One day, you'll look back on this and laugh."

I can imagine it now, the father sitting in front of the fire talking to his kids,
"So Jimmy, you want to know why you were adopted, hmm?
Well, funny story there, when daddy was living in a shared house his penis was torn off by a rabid howler monkey, so daddy cant have any kids."

There are chemicals visible under blacklight only, which can be used to find the thief.

There are chemicals visible under blacklight only, which can be used to find the thief.

Not if he eats them. Unless you want to stick a camera and blacklight into your suspects.

Oh, and rather than actually poisoning them maybe you should very seriously tell them that someone ate your poisoned food. Think of a decent reason why you might poison food though.

So the thief sticks his/her mouth into the fridge and steals the food without touching it? :eek:
I was thinking about dosing the packaging with such a chemical...

If you believe that your housemates are trustworthy, perhaps it was a guest of one of them? Ask if they had any guests over that day.

Superglue, preferably on something chewy that you eat cold. Failing that on packaging.

Easy enough to remove, but the trip to casualty will give the game away.

Spike the food with viagra and see who's pitching a tent.

Ipecac :)

Put something that will stain their palms on the containers of food. Not only is it strongly indicative, it also leaves your food available for eating.

Simple enough, squeeze about half a tube of wasbi into the middle of something and wait.

Of course if you REALLY want to be mean, just disquise some natto and leave it.

I like a lot of the ideas in this thread. Here was my thought - take a generic-enough-looking container of Chinese food. Maybe just order some $4.95 Chinese from somewhere. Make it innocuous-enough - Wor Sue Gai or something. Preferably dark in color. Don't eat it. Leave it untouched, or at least giving that appearance. Load it up with everything you can think of that will teach the thief a lesson but not kill them - copious amounts of cayenne pepper, that shit that they put in the really spicy buffalo wings, maybe some LSD...OK, not LSD, but you get the idea. If there's anything that doesn't kick in right away but kicks someone's ass, go for that. Also, I like the idea of putting some kind of Ex-Lax in it. If you really wanted to be a bastard, use syrup of ipecac. And if you can get your mitts on some of that acid/base indicator, hopefully they'll piss red, and soon enough, whoever stole that food will get a lesson they'll never forget.

try this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O82srO9E6xk)

I kept wanted to tell that guy to move...

Some good ideas in and amongst all the silliness.

Keep one thing in mind- you have to continue to deal with this person afterwards.
Even if I was stealing my room mate's food, if he spiked it with something deliberately that made me ill in some way, I would be intent on returning the favor. Depending on its seriosness, I would either beat the living shit out of you immediately, or plan an elaborate revenge.

Taking food/drink you arent entitled to is on one level, but deliberately conspiring to poison/sicken/sabotage someone is a few notches up from that.

Can you up the ante like that with someone you need to get along with?

Can you live worrying about a new enemy that has limitless access to you and all your stuff ?

Or is it no worry at all and once he discovers you got him, you'll all have a good laugh and no harm done ?

Carniverous Lickers is right. It's much better to kill your enemies outright; that way you don't have to fear revenge.

Carniverous Lickers is right. It's much better to kill your enemies outright; that way you don't have to fear revenge.

You dont want to make an enemy out of a friend who is just a mooching pest.
If its a buddy, a little embarassment or practical joke may suffice.

If it isnt, and you're planning on moving out, plan thoroughly and leave no evidence whatsoever. Leave him with a high level of doubt as to wether something was done to him and dont discuss your plans with anyone.

Make a cake or cookies or brownies and put in X-Lax chocolate. Won't hurt him but he'll spend some time sitting and contemplating his fate.

Estrogen Supplements. Whoever gets girly is the culprit!

Lots and lots of blue food coloring, contained in pill capsule type things. The thief will scream when they see their piss running blue.

If you know anyone with a cold-sore or some type of facial herpies, get them to lick, breath and smother their face in your food, then place in a tempting place in the fridge...

and wait....

Lots and lots of blue food coloring, contained in pill capsule type things. The thief will scream when they see their piss running blue.
Green, you mean?

I'd go for the food coloring, too, if I were you. That way, you could even eat your own stuff afterwards without much of a problem - albeit the typical side-effects.
Non-toxic and a lot of fun.

Problem with food colouring is that you have to rely on the thief to come out of the toilet and tell everyone their piss has gone a funny colour.
They might just freak and go straight to the doctors. Especially if they think it's an STD or something.


Though a way around this I guess is to casually start up a conversation about how your own piss has gone a funny colour lately and has anyone else noticed this?

Problem with food colouring is that you have to rely on the thief to come out of the toilet and tell everyone their piss has gone a funny colour.
They might just freak and go straight to the doctors. Especially if they think it's an STD or something.


Though a way around this I guess is to casually start up a conversation about how your own piss has gone a funny colour lately and has anyone else noticed this?

I'd really love to hear suggestions about how to start a casual converstion about the colour of your piss.

I'd really love to hear suggestions about how to start a casual converstion about the colour of your piss.

Get an article from the internet, from a medical site or wiki.
example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_tract_infection
copy paste into a word document.

the play around with the symptoms:

Symptoms & Signs
Urethritis: discomfort or pain at the urethral meatus or a burning sensation throughout the urethra with micturition (dysuria).
Cystitis: pain in the midline suprapubic region and/or frequent urination
Hematuria (bloody urine)
Cloudy and foul-smelling urine
High temperature lasting for more than 3 days should be a trigger to get the urine culture done to ascertain whether the fever is due to UTI or not. UTI is very harmful especially in infants since it can cause permanent renal damage.
Nausea and vomiting, accompanied by high fever may indicate a more complicated UTI in which the kidney is infected
Some urinary tract infections are asymptomatic.
Increased confusion and associated falls are common presentations to Emergency Departments for elderly patients with UTI.
Discolouration: WARNING, in the case of 'unatural' urine colouration seek medical attention. Discolouration may be due to scrotum gonorrhoeae, enterobacteria Yersinia pestis or Cistaceae netherlis. Extreme cases may require amputation.

(In case someone does not know the last one is made up) then leave it somewhere they might find it.

oh snip

Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave dig

Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave dig

heh?

(For those who don't know, I live in a shared house, something like a grown up version of a dorm.)

Last night when I got home, I discovered that about US$30 worth of my food had been taken from the common fridge. We usually don't have problems with food theivery. But all the people who might have taken it accidentaly have said they didn't (except for 1, and I haven't had a chance to ask him yet, but he's not on my suspect list).


So, I come to the wicked minds of NSG for help catching the cuprit or teaching this person a lesson.

ONE RULE:
Absolutely no advocating illegal or seriously harmful acts.

You can download the anarchists cookbook from any self-respecting torrent database. I recomend the shaving cream bomb in everyones room. Collective punishment. It'll stop.