NationStates Jolt Archive

Right, so here's the deal: my younger brother, looking to his older, college brother for advice, puts a question to me: Why do girls like to hang around gay guys so much?

Now, I could have given him that dumb answer about "feeling secure" and seeing if the boy that they dig has the balls to overcome any comments about his sexuality to ask her out, but generally, I'm too lazy to actually tell him, and attach the disclaimer. So instead, I was hoping that you all could weigh in on this, perhaps show me that I'm wrong (which would be a miracle), and express some opinions. And please, attach your own disclaimers. This way I can just mention a link while multiple opinions are expressed, perfect for over-exposing his innocent, high school football player mind. (This may have been a school assignment of some sort, but my level of apathy for my brother is such that I don't bother with remembering.)

I think it's like having another girlfriend for them.. except it's a guy..

Because they're not as threatening as heterosexual men, and they can chat about feminine things more easily, or so I gather.

Probably the same reason guys like to hang out with lesbians...

Okay, maybe not.

Right, so here's the deal: my younger brother, looking to his older, college brother for advice, puts a question to me: Why do girls like to hang around gay guys so much?

Now, I could have given him that dumb answer about "feeling secure" and seeing if the boy that they dig has the balls to overcome any comments about his sexuality to ask her out, but generally, I'm too lazy to actually tell him, and attach the disclaimer. So instead, I was hoping that you all could weigh in on this, perhaps show me that I'm wrong (which would be a miracle), and express some opinions. And please, attach your own disclaimers. This way I can just mention a link while multiple opinions are expressed, perfect for over-exposing his innocent, high school football player mind. (This may have been a school assignment of some sort, but my level of apathy for my brother is such that I don't bother with remembering.)

They like gay men because they can relate to them like they could to another girl, and because gay men can serve as kind of a way to understand men more as a concept.

Because they are fun to hang around. That simple.

They don't feel the need to present themselves as the image of maleness all the time, they are relaxed around girls and are therefore nice to talk to. And, yes, they're sometimes just one of the girls. :)

Right, so here's the deal: my younger brother, looking to his older, college brother for advice, puts a question to me: Why do girls like to hang around gay guys so much?

Now, I could have given him that dumb answer about "feeling secure" and seeing if the boy that they dig has the balls to overcome any comments about his sexuality to ask her out, but generally, I'm too lazy to actually tell him, and attach the disclaimer. So instead, I was hoping that you all could weigh in on this, perhaps show me that I'm wrong (which would be a miracle), and express some opinions. And please, attach your own disclaimers. This way I can just mention a link while multiple opinions are expressed, perfect for over-exposing his innocent, high school football player mind. (This may have been a school assignment of some sort, but my level of apathy for my brother is such that I don't bother with remembering.)

Well, they aren't attracted to women, but they are attracted to men, so they can talk about boys with the girls... I'm not too sure...

well gay guys are nice and can give you guy advice. their kinda like a girlfriend and a guy rolled into one. plus alot of them are really funny.

They don't have to worry about gay men trying to have sex with them. It allows for contact with males without the issue of sex.

Eh... I dunno. From personal exerience, I'd say, they aren't quite as... crude as heterosexual guys are. You know how guys can be dumbasses when they're with girls just to show off/prove they're tough/be one of the guys/whatever? They won't talk about certain things without making fun of it 'cos to do otherwise would be wimpy, etc. and so forth... gay guys don't have those qualms. They don't worry about being tough or accepted by the guys, cos they already stand out. They won't do anything stupid in an attempt to show off. :p I dunno. Hard to explain, I guess.

However, I will say... I don't necessarily prefer to hang out with gay guys over straight guys a majority of the time. And it's not like I specifically check a guy's sexual orientation before hanging out with him, or deciding who to make plans with.

lots of reasons. mostly it depends on the individuals involved.

first of all you know that if a gay guy is your friend he's not really doing that "she'll break up with that asshole and turn to me for comfort" thing that lame straight guys do. if a gay guy is your friend. chances are its because he like you as a friend.

gay guys dont hit on women

gay guys can be very amusing to talk to about men and their habits. you can commisserate with each other over failed relationships without worrying that each other will go after your ex.

some gay guys have impeccable taste in clothing and makeup and can help you get your look together.

some women like a challenge.

That's weird...despite being straight, I appear to be gay in all the ways described in this thread...I know plenty of girls who are less masculine than myself...And I'm not "odd" around girls...

Is it just me, or is this thread assuming all straight men are aggressive sex machines?

That's weird...despite being straight, I appear to be gay in all the ways described in this thread...I know plenty of girls who are less masculine than myself...And I'm not "odd" around girls...

Is it just me, or is this thread assuming all straight men are aggressive sex machines?

Well... stereotypes, I find, exist because they're true often enough that people come to accept them as a normality.

But no, of course, there are guys who are perfectly fun to hang around with and who aren't dumbasses just because we of the female sex are around. I'm not saying by any stretch that they don't exist. I know quite a few of them. It's just that... gay men are more commonly of that type than straight men, I 'spose.

Edit: But no matter how sensitive, a straight man will not be able to relate to certain conversations the way a gay man can, so there will always be that difference.

http://badgas.co.uk/language/thats_hot.jpg

'Cuz we're hot.

That's weird...despite being straight, I appear to be gay in all the ways described in this thread...I know plenty of girls who are less masculine than myself...And I'm not "odd" around girls...
Maybe you've just got a fairly strong feminine side / are just generally good with people.

I can see where you're coming from, I'm pretty much the same way.
Is it just me, or is this thread assuming all straight men are aggressive sex machines?
This is, on the other hand, quite true in most cases.

'Cuz we're hot.
Please tell me that's not a photoshopped pic and that she's really that stupid. Please.

Please tell me that's not a photoshopped pic and that she's really that stupid. Please.
:D It's a mode de vivre.

And, I'd say it's intentional. ;) I doubt the person who manufactured it for her is that stupid.

Maybe you've just got a fairly strong feminine side / are just generally good with people.

I can see where you're coming from, I'm pretty much the same way.

This is, on the other hand, quite true in most cases.

Can we try to steer away from sterotypes (God! Can't spell today! Is that spelled right?) because...I know a fair number of straight males (Duh!) and very few of them are borderline sexual predators. This has always irritated me. It's a double standard. No one EVER writes books about someone with a wife who abuses her husband and children (Physically or mentally) even though this is actually just as common, if not moreso, in real life than a Husband abusing his family (Physically or mentally). It's just they tend to be more along the lines of "make you feel like crap constantly" instead of "Make you LOOK like crap constantly". Another thing-In TV shows and movies, it's funny when a woman slaps a man, but it's tragic when a man hits a woman...Don't forget that in most movies, male actors say THREE TIMES as many curse words as female actresses.

Sorry, I have a very strange way of picking up on sterotypes (Still can't spell!) that people make on a daily basis and I have to rant once in a while.

:D It's a mode de vivre.

And, I'd say it's intentional. ;) I doubt the person who manufactured it for her is that stupid.

I don't know--a couple of years ago when I was doing some side work for my b-i-l who owns a silk screen shop, I caught one before we printed the shirt--same error. It was the customer who'd made the error, and he was glad I caught it because it kept him from looking like a dumbass.

I don't know--a couple of years ago when I was doing some side work for my b-i-l who owns a silk screen shop, I caught one before we printed the shirt--same error. It was the customer who'd made the error, and he was glad I caught it because it kept him from looking like a dumbass.
Oh. Well, I still think it's intentional. She has an image to keep up after all. :)

Is it just me, or is this thread assuming all straight men are aggressive sex machines?

I am, well, atleast around my gf when we are alown.

Can we try to steer away from sterotypes (God! Can't spell today! Is that spelled right?) because...I know a fair number of straight males (Duh!) and very few of them are borderline sexual predators. This has always irritated me. It's a double standard. No one EVER writes books about someone with a wife who abuses her husband and children (Physically or mentally) even though this is actually just as common, if not moreso, in real life than a Husband abusing his family (Physically or mentally). It's just they tend to be more along the lines of "make you feel like crap constantly" instead of "Make you LOOK like crap constantly". Another thing-In TV shows and movies, it's funny when a woman slaps a man, but it's tragic when a man hits a woman...Don't forget that in most movies, male actors say THREE TIMES as many curse words as female actresses.

Sorry, I have a very strange way of picking up on sterotypes (Still can't spell!) that people make on a daily basis and I have to rant once in a while.
Yes, of course we can.

Sorry if I offended...

Can we try to steer away from sterotypes (God! Can't spell today! Is that spelled right?) because...I know a fair number of straight males (Duh!) and very few of them are borderline sexual predators. This has always irritated me. It's a double standard. No one EVER writes books about someone with a wife who abuses her husband and children (Physically or mentally) even though this is actually just as common, if not moreso, in real life than a Husband abusing his family (Physically or mentally). It's just they tend to be more along the lines of "make you feel like crap constantly" instead of "Make you LOOK like crap constantly". Another thing-In TV shows and movies, it's funny when a woman slaps a man, but it's tragic when a man hits a woman...Don't forget that in most movies, male actors say THREE TIMES as many curse words as female actresses.

Sorry, I have a very strange way of picking up on sterotypes (Still can't spell!) that people make on a daily basis and I have to rant once in a while.


you said it Brother. (if it makes you fell anybetter, i normaly can not spell to save my life.)

Reminds me of a funny time. My ex-girlfriend used to always say "I wish I had a gay best friend.", than her best friend (a girl) turned out to be lesbian, I laughed my ass off.

Getting back to the issue...

I now have plenty to expose my younger brother with. Thankfully, I can now wash my hands of him.

Let's shy away from the ramifications of stereotypes. That's coming for the next thread. Please, however, continue as you are.

cuz they're entirely unthreatening (sexually anyway) and supposedly like the same things as girls.

cuz they're entirely unthreatening (sexually anyway) and supposedly like the same things as girls.
Yep, that we do! Naturally, this shouldn't be taken to mean that we act girly all the time... such is foolishness.

Gay guys are cool.

Right, so here's the deal: my younger brother, looking to his older, college brother for advice, puts a question to me: Why do girls like to hang around gay guys so much?

Now, I could have given him that dumb answer about "feeling secure" and seeing if the boy that they dig has the balls to overcome any comments about his sexuality to ask her out, but generally, I'm too lazy to actually tell him, and attach the disclaimer. So instead, I was hoping that you all could weigh in on this, perhaps show me that I'm wrong (which would be a miracle), and express some opinions. And please, attach your own disclaimers. This way I can just mention a link while multiple opinions are expressed, perfect for over-exposing his innocent, high school football player mind. (This may have been a school assignment of some sort, but my level of apathy for my brother is such that I don't bother with remembering.)
Because they're so cute! :rolleyes:

Because they are fun to hang around. That simple.

They don't feel the need to present themselves as the image of maleness all the time, they are relaxed around girls and are therefore nice to talk to. And, yes, they're sometimes just one of the girls. :)

but i do that and i'm not gay, well not really. oh, hang on, maybe that's why i can't get a girl friend, too many girl-friends. bugger.

Because they are fun to hang around. That simple.
Meh, not all of us - I'm too much of a goth for that.

They don't feel the need to present themselves as the image of maleness all the time, they are relaxed around girls and are therefore nice to talk to. And, yes, they're sometimes just one of the girls. :)
No, but some of them do feel impelled to put on an image of queerlyness, which can be just as bad.

Yep, that we do! Naturally, this shouldn't be taken to mean that we act girly all the time... such is foolishness.

i've got to say tho, i don't know many girls who actually like show tunes, kylie and having rampant anal sex as my two best friends do, so i think there's a bit of fallacy in that supposition. i think it's only a certain kind of girl who gets on with gay guys, on that level anyway.

Meh, not all of us - I'm too much of a goth for that.


you're a goth! haha! i thought you were just arch, sort of morrise-esque.

Because they're so cute! :rolleyes:

http://www.dropthatsock.com/content/paris250_250.jpg

That they are! ^^

you're a goth! haha! i thought you were just arch, sort of morrise-esque.
Explain those terms to me as my IQ is about the same as Paris' tonight. :) Yep, it's hovering at a mere 2000.

i've got to say tho, i don't know many girls who actually like show tunes, kylie and having rampant anal sex as my two best friends do, so i think there's a bit of fallacy in that supposition. i think it's only a certain kind of girl who gets on with gay guys, on that level anyway.
Yeah, I must agree - not all girls like gay guys, and vice versa. Some actually find them annoying. So do I. :p

Because they are fun to hang around. That simple.

They don't feel the need to present themselves as the image of maleness all the time, they are relaxed around girls and are therefore nice to talk to. And, yes, they're sometimes just one of the girls. :)

I'm a lot like that (save for the last part), which I guess is why I seem to make friends with girls/women much more easily than a lot of other guys. My dad's the same way, actually (though I'm not a loudmouth who boasts about himself a lot).

And yes, I do understand that the last bit of parenthesis is ironic, with the context of the post and all. :p

I'm a lot like that (save for the last part), which I guess is why I seem to make friends with girls/women much more easily than a lot of other guys. My dad's the same way, actually (though I'm not a loudmouth who boasts about himself a lot).
Lol, maybe you should be gay and I should be straight. :)

Meh, not all of us - I'm too much of a goth for that.


yes but do you have lots of girl friends?

there is a certain type of gay man that women LOVE. or at least that *I* love. if you dont fit that type, you might not be the gay guy with tons of women friends.

Explain those terms to me as my IQ is about the same as Paris' tonight. :)


Yeah, I must agree - not all girls like gay guys, and vice versa. Some actually find them annoying. So do I. :p

1/ arch is sort of like aloof, but in a knowing/(quasi)intellectual way, somewhat characterised by sarcastic humour and cutting remarks be they in debates or normal social exchanges. my only reference for this is remarks made about franz ferdinand. and morrise-esque was meant to be morrisey-esque, as in a bit like morrisey of the smiths although i don't think you have his self-loathing, but then you say you're a bit of a goth so maybe you do hate yourself although i think you're too intellectually superior for that.

2/ yeh, i'm completely convinced that a lot of my friends would respect me more if they didn't think i was such a fag (sic).

1/ arch is sort of like aloof, but in a knowing/(quasi)intellectual way, somewhat characterised by sarcastic humour and cutting remarks be they in debates or normal social exchanges. my only reference for this is remarks made about franz ferdinand. and morrise-esque was meant to be morrisey-esque, as in a bit like morrisey of the smiths although i don't think you have his self-loathing, but then you say you're a bit of a goth so maybe you do hate yourself although i think you're too intellectually superior for that.
Oh, well then I am indeed kinda arch. :)

When I say goth, I mean this: EGA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristocrat_%28fashion%29). I swap between this, a more military "punk" style and casual. :) The attitude is a constant.

As for self-loathing, intellectuality leads to nihilism - something I definitely suffer from. ^^

Lol, maybe you should be gay and I should be straight. :)

Nah, then all of the girls around my age staring at me all the time would be pointless.

Nah, then all of the girls around my age staring at me all the time would be pointless.
Oh, I get that too. I just giggle, too bad for them I am not straight. :D If only guys stared a bit more though. :(

Ill tell YOU. Heto men don't understand us women and sometimes woman can be cruel to one another.

Right, so here's the deal: my younger brother, looking to his older, college brother for advice, puts a question to me: Why do girls like to hang around gay guys so much?



Probably because the guys won't hit on them. They might not want to be hit on. And they may want to watch them make out with their boyfriends. A lot of guys (including me :)) like to see hot chicks make out. The same may be true for the female gender.

Gay men are totally non-threatening.

Why do girls dig gay guys?

Presumably for the same reasons us straight males dig lesbians so much...

Ill tell YOU. Heto men don't understand us women and sometimes woman can be cruel to one another.
I'm just cruel to everyone. :)

what my daughters told me-1-they are polite 2-they have the same interests 3-they are not a threat(they don't want to get into their pants) 4-they act like gentlemen which apparently hetro men nowadays aren't.

what my daughters told me-1-they are polite 2-they have the same interests 3-they are not a threat(they don't want to get into their pants) 4-they act like gentlemen which apparently hetro men nowadays aren't.

not heteros in disguise at all, no.

not heteros in disguise at all, no.

burn

guys dig lesbos...its simple.

not heteros in disguise at all, no.

what hetro would pretend to be gay? just can't see that happening often

burn

you're telling me to burn? or did i just burn something?

i was merely pointing out that pretending to be gay is a trick sometimes played by straight guys to pull girls, make the girls think they're turning them so they feel it's some sort of emotional moment for the guy, so the girls lets herself go emotionally and, theoretically, physically. it's shitty but it's something to be aware of. and i've seen it happen.

It's like having a brother and a sister all in one, without most of the negative sibling side effects. Aside from the fact that we're essentially twins with a five-year difference, my best friend is the greatest person to confide in and he is not bitchy or catty like most of the female friends I ever had. Plus, I never, ever have to worry that my boyfriend will sleep with him.

guys dig lesbos...its simple.

Guys, as far as I can tell, like the idea of lesbians in a sexual way. Girls, generally, don't feel the same about gay guys.

The reason why I hang out with gay guys (and have a tendancy to fall for them, usually before they come out), is because they're the only guys who ever talk to me. I like having male friends, because it's a break from the heated catiness I find in female friendships, but, for some reason, straight guys don't talk to me. Ever.

I can easily see where it could be desireable and useful for a given heterosexual woman to have close gay male friends. Im less clear on what motivation leads so many homosexual males into this sort of social relationship. I am probably missing something obvious here but the benefits seem to be fairly lopsided in favor of the hetero females. I dont think that gay men are more prone to being in lopsided friendships than anybody else, so can somebody with a better handle on it explain the flip side of these stereotypical friendships please?

what hetro would pretend to be gay? just can't see that happening often
There was a Saturday Night Live skit about two guys who spent several decades pretending to be gay, just to try and get in the pants of these two girls...

The reason why I hang out with gay guys (and have a tendancy to fall for them, usually before they come out), is because they're the only guys who ever talk to me. I like having male friends, because it's a break from the heated catiness I find in female friendships, but, for some reason, straight guys don't talk to me. Ever.


I think that since you chosen path is theatre you will have a higher concentration of gay males around you than most other people will. It just stands to reason you will have a higher percentage of gay male friends than most people.

The reason why I hang out with gay guys (and have a tendancy to fall for them, usually before they come out), is because they're the only guys who ever talk to me. I like having male friends, because it's a break from the heated catiness I find in female friendships, but, for some reason, straight guys don't talk to me. Ever.


Awwwwww. :(

I can easily see where it could be desireable and useful for a given heterosexual woman to have close gay male friends. Im less clear on what motivation leads so many homosexual males into this sort of social relationship. I am probably missing something obvious here but the benefits seem to be fairly lopsided in favor of the hetero females. I dont think that gay men are more prone to being in lopsided friendships than anybody else, so can somebody with a better handle on it explain the flip side of these stereotypical friendships please?

well the way it works with my friends is that the girls provide a coat/bag/phone/keys/wallet/drink retaining service in gay clubs while the guys go looking for tail. they also provide a vetting service once said tail is bagged so that the now very merry gay guy does not end up getting into anything they might not like later on in the night.

Its simple, and its the same reason guys like lesbians.

They want what they can't have, all that much more. Its just that girls do it much more subconsciously.

Its simple, and its the same reason guys like lesbians.

They want what they can't have, all that much more. Its just that girls do it much more subconsciously.

yeh, that's true. one of my female friends is totally in love with one of my gay friends. she gets absolutely incensed if she hears of him having any other female best friends and has even travelled from jersey to edinburgh just to tell one girl to back off him.

what my daughters told me-1-they are polite 2-they have the same interests 3-they are not a threat(they don't want to get into their pants) 4-they act like gentlemen which apparently hetro men nowadays aren't.

...Do you find it ironic that you're saying that apparently hetro men nowadays don't act like gentlemen, and your name is "Free sex and beer"?

Because women hate eachother, and can do girlish things with homos without having to hate them at the same time.

well the way it works with my friends is that the girls provide a coat/bag/phone/keys/wallet/drink retaining service in gay clubs while the guys go looking for tail. they also provide a vetting service once said tail is bagged so that the now very merry gay guy does not end up getting into anything they might not like later on in the night.

So hetero females provide wingman services when you are seeking a sex partner? That's a plus. What about during the rest of the week when you are outside of clubs?

It's part of the female unconscious desire to outscore her friends by being the first to collect the set of weird friends - and thus become the envy of all their women-friends.
That's why women desire to have a gay friend, a black friend (or white, as the case may be) and a cripple. For no other reason than to make their other friends jealous.
If they're lucky enough, they'll hit the jackpot and find a man who's all three.

Because gay males tend not to indulge in the masculine posturing and sexual obsession towards females that straight males often do.

I am not gay, but when I've had the inclination and the opportunity I've had no problem making friends with females, because I do not indulge in such.

http://badgas.co.uk/language/thats_hot.jpg

'Cuz we're hot.

That's should be "you're" on her shirt. What a dumb skank.

That's should be "you're" on her shirt. What a dumb skank.

Yea, you don't say...