NationStates Jolt Archive

On this thread, list famous people (or anyone) who think they are funny, but in reality, they just completey suck.

Roseanne Barr
Carrot Top
Rosie O' Donnell
Ellen DeGeneres

Now it's your turn!

Me

Me

Your sig actually did end. :p Just thought I would point that out.

Without meaning to be utterly sexist, funny comediennes are few and far between. Women can be funny in real life, but professional ones all seem to suck.

i agree with you list for the most part

adam carolla

lol, his shows last what?, a month. and they are mostly helped with a laugh track.

i think his only good show he was in was the man show, but that was mostly due to jimmy kimmel also being on the show

Your sig actually did end. :p Just thought I would point that out.

:D See? I tried to be funny. And it doesn't work

Jerry Seinfeld

i agree with you list for the most part

adam carolla

lol, his shows last what?, a month. and they are mostly helped with a laugh track.

i think his only good show he was in was the man show, but that was mostly due to jimmy kimmel also being on the show

I would have to agree, Jimmy Kimmel was the one who got the most laugh on The Mans Show. I still don't know why the replaced Adam Carolla & Jimmy Kimmel with those two other guys.

I would have to agree, Jimmy Kimmel was the one who got the most laugh on The Mans Show. I still don't know why the replaced Adam Carolla & Jimmy Kimmel with those two other guys.

yeah, those two other guys took the show down.

Without meaning to be utterly sexist, funny comediennes are few and far between. Women can be funny in real life, but professional ones all seem to suck.Sure they can.

It took me two mules and a half to scroll this post up, you fat slob!

Sure they can.

It took me two mules and a half to scroll this post up, you fat slob!

Umm... what?

Me, obviously.

Me, obviously.

Bullshit. You can always me laugh, or at least chuckle. :)

Without meaning to be utterly sexist, funny comediennes are few and far between. Women can be funny in real life, but professional ones all seem to suck.

You know why female comics suck? Because the male audience is grossed out by their jokes. If a young attractive female comic were to start making period jokes everyone would go "eeeeeeew" but nasty ass 50 year old Robin Williams can talk about his personal experiences with viagra and have you rolling on the floor.

Umm... what?
Keep that facial expression! It's golden!

You know why female comics suck? Because the male audience is grossed out by their jokes. If a young attractive female comic were to start making period jokes everyone would go "eeeeeeew" but nasty ass 50 year old Robin Williams can talk about his personal experiences with viagra and have you rolling on the floor.

Eh it's more of a mental picture, and the way the joke is delievered. Most women comedian can't really deliever the period joke very well, so it just ends up sounding gross rather than funny. The main reason I hate Roseanne is her voice, ugh!

My ears are burning! AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! *dies of flame*

Most women comedian can't really deliever the period joke very well, so it just ends up sounding gross rather than funny. ! I thought I'd demonstrate it, but I realiseded you were fucked enough without it...

I thought I'd demonstrate it, but I realiseded you were fucked enough without it...

Eh, you may say I'm fucked, but I prefer the term eccentric! :D

I thought I'd demonstrate it, but I realiseded you were fucked enough without it...You need to work on your material. The same could be said for a lot of male comics. However the most consistantly funny comic I've heard is Ellen Degeneres. Both interms of delivery and material.

Dennis Miller, which is a shame, because he used to be funny way back when he was on SNL.

And I hate to do it, but Carrot Top is apparently an alumni of the school where I work, so I feel the need to defend him.

Except I can't.

Except I can't.

Well played - !

Dennis Miller, which is a shame, because he used to be funny way back when he was on SNL.

And I hate to do it, but Carrot Top is apparently an alumni of the school where I work, so I feel the need to defend him.

Except I can't.

Wow, so, does the school you work at actually proudly proclaim that Carrot Top went there?

You need to work on your material. The same could be said for a lot of male comics. However the most consistantly funny comic I've heard is Ellen Degeneres. Both interms of delivery and material.
Thanks. I may need to work my material... never with, on, or under it

Wow, so, does the school you work at actually proudly proclaim that Carrot Top went there?

Not really, but Carrot Top has mentioned it in more than one interview. For the record, he got a degree in Marketing. Keep that in mind, all you business majors. ;)

Not really, but Carrot Top has mentioned it in more than one interview. For the record, he got a degree in Marketing. Keep that in mind, all you business majors. ;)

Thank God I am a History Major then! lol.

Not really, but Carrot Top has mentioned it in more than one interview. For the record, he got a degree in Marketing. Keep that in mind, all you business majors. ;)But you are his close friend?

Not really, but Carrot Top has mentioned it in more than one interview. For the record, he got a degree in Marketing. Keep that in mind, all you business majors. ;)

Hey if you ever see Mr. Top, tell him that Prop Comedy went out a long time ago.

You know why female comics suck? Because the male audience is grossed out by their jokes. If a young attractive female comic were to start making period jokes everyone would go "eeeeeeew" but nasty ass 50 year old Robin Williams can talk about his personal experiences with viagra and have you rolling on the floor.

It's not that, I just find that the jokes about 'How I am different to you.' were all used up in the 70's. Black comics remarking about the way they walk compared to white men, women talking about their feelings/menstrual cycle, people in wheelchairs talking about ramps or whatever. It has all been done to death.
It's boring.

Hey if you ever see Mr. Top, tell him that Prop Comedy went out a long time ago.
As did Carrot Top

It's not that, I just find that the jokes about 'How I am different to you.' were all used up in the 70's. Black comics remarking about the way they walk compared to white men, women talking about their feelings/menstrual cycle, people in wheelchairs talking about ramps or whatever. It has all been done to death.
It's boring.

True, and I do have to admit, when Jeff Foxworthy was talking about a erection medication if lasted for more than 4 hours you should go to the hospital, I did find that funny. I dunno, I guess I can relate to the erection jokes better, but when women talk about their mensral cycle, usually they'll just demean the men in their lives and it just end up sounding gross and crass to me, but that's just me.

when women talk about their mensral cycle, usually they'll just demean the men in their lives and it just end up sounding gross and crass to me, but that's just me.

They probably write that type of material whilst bleeding for 3 days, so it is only natural that they would include demeaning stuff about the men in their lives. Because that seems to be the main concern of ladies during that time, to be spiteful towards men.
Like I said, it is getting old.

They probably write that type of material whilst bleeding for 3 days, so it is only natural that they would include demeaning stuff about the men in their lives. Because that seems to be the main concern of ladies during that time, to be spiteful towards men.
Like I said, it is getting old.

Trust me, it's past old, in fact its buried and daisy are now growing.

Dennis Miller, which is a shame, because he used to be funny way back when he was on SNL.

And I hate to do it, but Carrot Top is apparently an alumni of the school where I work, so I feel the need to defend him.

Except I can't.

Look at it this way...Bill O'Riley attended BU. I feel no need to defend him.

Granted, I do feel the need to defend Howard Stern...

Dennis Miller
Robin Williams
Cathy Griffin

funny thing is I was thinking of making this thread tommorrow. Ya beat me to it:p

America! What a country!

Ray Romano comes to mind.

To those already mentioned, I'd like to add:

Gary Shandling and Bob Saget.

Jerry Seinfeld

Yep.

Jerry SeinfeldSeconded.

And:
Ellen DeGeneres

To those already mentioned, I'd like to add:

Gary Shandling and Bob Saget.

Was it Bob Sagat on "The Aristocrats" who was uniquely...uh...vile?

It's not that, I just find that the jokes about 'How I am different to you.' were all used up in the 70's. Black comics remarking about the way they walk compared to white men, women talking about their feelings/menstrual cycle, people in wheelchairs talking about ramps or whatever. It has all been done to death.
It's boring.

Agreed.

And the unfunniest person ever is Jimmy Carr. He makes me want to throttle him.

I think Ellen's funny.

I think Ellen's funny.To each his own ;)

You need to work on your material. The same could be said for a lot of male comics. However the most consistantly funny comic I've heard is Ellen Degeneres. Both interms of delivery and material.

QFT.

Ellen is funnier then Sasha Baron Cohen, and that's friggin' hilarious.

Doesn't Ann Coulter claim she's just joking? :(

Don Imus

Ben Stiller (which is weird because his parents are quite funny)
Roseanne
Carrot Top
Dave Letterman (sometimes)
Jay Leno (sometimes)
Conan O'Brien (most times)

Was it Bob Sagat on "The Aristocrats" who was uniquely...uh...vile?

Yes, it was. And one of the female comics interviewed in the movie said he's actually quite vilely funny, like advising her to put small tampons in her bathroom so guys will think she's really tight. :rolleyes:

professional ones all seem to suck.Maybe if you payed them a bit more, they'd be willing to do some other stuff too?

Ray Romano comes to mind.

I was one of the many who didn't love Raymond. I never understood the appeal.

did someone say Jim Carrey yet?

how about Ben Stiller?

oh, and David Spade....

and well, the rest of the cast of SNL when he was around.......although Dana Carvey was funny briefly once, for a little while.

I would have to agree, Jimmy Kimmel was the one who got the most laugh on The Mans Show. I still don't know why the replaced Adam Carolla & Jimmy Kimmel with those two other guys.

Why? Probably because those other two guys, Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope have done some really funny stuff in the past. Rogan was funny as hell on the sitcom News Radio, and his blog is pretty funny too. I haven't seen his standup, so I can't comment. Stanhope has a great stand up act. Sometimes a little preachy, but so was Bill Hicks.

Moi - I lack what you humans call a sense of humour.

On this thread, list famous people (or anyone) who think they are funny, but in reality, they just completey suck.

Roseanne Barr
Carrot Top
Rosie O' Donnell
Ellen DeGeneres

Now it's your turn!

You're silly.

did someone say Jim Carrey yet?

how about Ben Stiller?

oh, and David Spade....

and well, the rest of the cast of SNL when he was around.......although Dana Carvey was funny briefly once, for a little while.

All of those guys can be funny, but they often aren't, and I think lately they miss more often than they hit. Stiller was hysterical in Dodgeball, but I think that's because he didn't have to carry the movie--Vince Vaughn did a lot of the work. But his other recent films? Not so good.

Okay, except Spade. He's not nearly as funny as producers seem to think he is.

Buncha people.

You know why female comics suck? Because the male audience is grossed out by their jokes. If a young attractive female comic were to start making period jokes everyone would go "eeeeeeew" but nasty ass 50 year old Robin Williams can talk about his personal experiences with viagra and have you rolling on the floor.

Not true at all. Some female comedians are funny. One that imediately springs to mind is Sarah Silverman. Lisa Lampinelli is pretty funny too. The problem is that most women's humor doesn't appeal to the male sense of humor. The ones that can be equally entertaining to both men and women are rare. They're also the ones who usually have the most edgy (sometimes gross) material.

al franken

All of those guys can be funny, but they often aren't, and I think lately they miss more often than they hit. Stiller was hysterical in Dodgeball, but I think that's because he didn't have to carry the movie--Vince Vaughn did a lot of the work. But his other recent films? Not so good.

Okay, except Spade. He's not nearly as funny as producers seem to think he is.
I think if any of them are funny it's because they had a lucky night, the stars were aligned in their favor and I got really high before watching.

Vince Vaughn is hilarious. ;) and I will give you that Carvey can be funny, he just forgot lately.

Dennis Miller
Robin Williams
Cathy Griffin

funny thing is I was thinking of making this thread tommorrow. Ya beat me to it:p
Great list. I don't really find any of those comedians particularly funny either.

All of those guys can be funny, but they often aren't, and I think lately they miss more often than they hit. Stiller was hysterical in Dodgeball, but I think that's because he didn't have to carry the movie--Vince Vaughn did a lot of the work. But his other recent films? Not so good.

Okay, except Spade. He's not nearly as funny as producers seem to think he is.Recent perhaps, but Something about Mary was pretty darn hysterical. And Meet the Parents and Meet the Fokkers? :D

Recent perhaps, but Something about Mary was pretty darn hysterical. And Meet the Parents and Meet the Fokkers? :D
Something About Mary, yes, though again, it was because he didn't have to carry the movie. But the other two? Not my cuppa, at least not the first one. Didn't like it, so I didn't bother with the second.

Bob Saget!:headbang:


He is nowhere close to being funny. I love watching America's Funniest Home Videos, but when he's the host, I want to hang myself.

Bob Saget!:headbang:


He is nowhere close to being funny. I love watching America's Funniest Home Videos, but when he's the host, I want to hang myself.

To be fair, his stand-up act is nothing like AFHV. He's got a filthy and perverse sense of humor.

To be fair, his stand-up act is nothing like AFHV. He's got a filthy and perverse sense of humor.



Which makes it even harder to see him host a "family" show. He's twisted I tell ya. He looks too wholesome to pull off filthy comedy. It's like Beaver Cleaver trying to Dave Chappell.

Something About Mary, yes, though again, it was because he didn't have to carry the movie. But the other two? Not my cuppa, at least not the first one. Didn't like it, so I didn't bother with the second.

in the "meet the parent's" movies they were carried mostly by other actors again, Ben wasn't the funny one De Niro was, Hoffman was, not Stiller.

did someone say Jim Carrey yet?


He definitely deserves to be mentioned here. How is stretching his face supposed to be funny? Though "Bruce Almighty" was good.

And wtf is up with you always being the author of the posts I'm quoting?

He definitely deserves to be mentioned here. How is stretching his face supposed to be funny? Though "Bruce Almighty" was good.

And wtf is up with you always being the author of the posts I'm quoting?
You're a stalker? ;)

You're a stalker? ;)

No Sir!

*runs away*

Adam Sandler
Rob Schneider
Jim Carrey
Marlon Wayans and I forget the name of his brother that he does those stupid movies with.

I was one of the many who didn't love Raymond. I never understood the appeal.

Nor did I.

Eddie Izzard (sp?)

Adam Sandler
Rob Schneider
Jim Carrey
Marlon Wayans and I forget the name of his brother that he does those stupid movies with.

Damon?

That guy on the Funny Animal Videos on Animal Planet. He needs a sense of humour transplant urgently! Lamest puns ever.

Oh, and I hate Adam Sandler.

Oh, and I hate Adam Sandler.

In Soviet Russia, Adam Sandler hates you!

Jerry Lewis

Me.

Bill Maher

Damon?
Nah, Damon's funny, and is taller and bald/shaved head. There's Marlon, Damon, Keenan, and whateverthatotherguy'snameis, as I am so unenamored with Marlon and that one that I don't care to look it up.

oh, and David Spade....

and well, the rest of the cast of SNL <removed>when he was around.<removed>
I can't think of a single SNL cast member who managed to be consistently funny. Ever.

I can't think of a single SNL cast member who managed to be consistently funny. Ever.
John Belushi.

Eddie Izzard (sp?)

Psh! Eddie Izzard is hilarious.

Bill Maher
He's certainly not as funny as he thinks he is.

Bill Maher

Bill Maher is a moron.

I guess I'm the only guy here who thinks Bill Maher is funny.

I guess I'm the only guy here who thinks Bill Maher is funny.

He's funny, but he is a moron.

You know why female comics suck? Because the male audience is grossed out by their jokes. If a young attractive female comic were to start making period jokes everyone would go "eeeeeeew" but nasty ass 50 year old Robin Williams can talk about his personal experiences with viagra and have you rolling on the floor.

Eh it's more of a mental picture, and the way the joke is delievered. Most women comedian can't really deliever the period joke very well, so it just ends up sounding gross rather than funny. The main reason I hate Roseanne is her voice, ugh!

Yeppers. I cannot stand Victoria Wood. I guess if I were a girl I may find her funny, though probably not.

I can't think of a single SNL cast member who managed to be consistently funny. Ever.

Chris Rock--though he only got really funny when he left SNL.

Carson Daly

Was it Bob Sagat on "The Aristocrats" who was uniquely...uh...vile?

I don't know, I haven't seen it yet. :(