Let Jesus be your pimp.
Drunk commies deleted
05-10-2006, 23:54
I just had to share this. It seems some churches are having a "porn sunday" event. This is an account of one such event attended by a reporter from Hustler Magazine. You've got to read it. It's insane/hilarious.
Next, Jack is brought up on stage—a large, goateed man wearing shorts and a red, picnic-table-patterned shirt. Jack is a former porn addict who uses today’s hip-hop language to make an impact on youth.
“Yo!” he begins, telling it like it is. “Pornography went into my home and destroyed my marriage. Satan is pimpin’ this generation, and the first stop is the church. We’ve chosen the role of the ho! The devil’s a pimp; don’t be his ho. Let Jesus be your pimp. Say no to porn. No porn!”
http://www.larryflynt.com/notebook.php?id=189
This is why I don't go to churches.
The Mindset
05-10-2006, 23:56
If porn destroyed his marriage, then it probably wasn't a good one in the first place.
SHAOLIN9
06-10-2006, 00:01
It's good to see porn bringing people together! :eek:
Sumamba Buwhan
06-10-2006, 00:26
so they didnt have any porn there? weak!
German Nightmare
06-10-2006, 00:40
Pimpin'... http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif (NO PORN?!?!?!?!?)
I just had to share this. It seems some churches are having a "porn sunday" event. This is an account of one such event attended by a reporter from Hustler Magazine. You've got to read it. It's insane/hilarious.
http://www.larryflynt.com/notebook.php?id=189
If I don't start seeing t-shirts with that saying on it by this time next week, I will be thoroughly annoyed. Imagine the hilarity when all sorts of fundies see people walking around with those shirts on!
Smunkeeville
06-10-2006, 00:56
If porn destroyed his marriage, then it probably wasn't a good one in the first place.
most likely because he wasn't a very good husband.
“Porn is destroying,” Pastor Jake says twice with distaste, sounding as if he’s about to cry. He claims the trajectory of a porn addict goes from glancing at Victoria’s Secret catalogs to becoming a pedophile. “When you think your kids are sharing music, it’s porn.”
roflol
If I don't start seeing t-shirts with that saying on it by this time next week, I will be thoroughly annoyed. Imagine the hilarity when all sorts of fundies see people walking around with those shirts on!
The devil's a pimp
Don't be his ho.
Darknovae
06-10-2006, 02:31
“When you think your kids are sharing music, it’s porn.”
That was hilarious. Stupidity can be funny sometimes. :)
OP
Jesus...
Jesus=pimp?
...
http://209.85.48.9/8785/34/emo/mad0233.gif
Darknovae
06-10-2006, 02:39
The devil's a pimp
Don't be his ho.
If I saw the preacher wearing that around.... :eek:
And if my old church had a "Porn Sunday"...
Jesus Christ... :eek:
The Mindset
06-10-2006, 02:40
most likely because he wasn't a very good husband.
Well, perhaps, though that line of thinking didn't occur to me when I wrote that. What I meant is that any relationship where one person has to resort to outside help, without being open and honest with their partner, isn't a very good relationship.
UpwardThrust
06-10-2006, 02:48
http://www.piratejesus.com/PJ05.jpg
Demented Hamsters
06-10-2006, 06:50
Does this mean by becoming a Christian, I'm letting Jesus sell my ass for $20?
Lascivious Maximusness
06-10-2006, 06:55
DH, ill throw a goddamn rosary around my neck, say a hail mary and be your pimp for free... um.. yo.
:D
The documentary follows Porn Sunday founders Craig and Mike, who fanned the flames of antiporndom by erecting a booth at last year’s Erotica LA exposition, where they gave out T-shirts emblazoned with the message “Jesus Loves Porn Stars.”
I want....nay, I need one of those shirts! :)
Demented Hamsters
06-10-2006, 07:18
I'm just worried what Biggie-Jay's gonna do to me when he finds out I've been holding out on him.
I hope he don't excommunicate my ass.
Boonytopia
06-10-2006, 09:36
the trajectory of a porn addict goes from glancing at Victoria’s Secret catalogs to becoming a pedophile. “When you think your kids are sharing music, it’s porn.”
This is so true. I went from sneaking glimpses at underwear catalogues, to full blown paedophilia. Now I'm sharing porn files and music files with my friends! Help me Jesus! :rolleyes:
Does this mean by becoming a Christian, I'm letting Jesus sell my ass for $20?
More like $5.Joking :fluffle:
Wouldn't this mean that a hypothetical person would be able to pray to Jesus, offer some money and then get... services... from any Christian in the world?
:D
Free shepmagans
06-10-2006, 09:45
Wouldn't this mean that a hypothetical person would be able to pray to Jesus, offer some money and then get... services... from any Christian in the world?
:D
Bow Chicka wow-wow
Multiland
06-10-2006, 09:51
I understand the intent behind it. I pretty much agree with their reasons for doing it. But the way they are doing it is fucked up
Drunk commies deleted
06-10-2006, 15:15
Does this mean by becoming a Christian, I'm letting Jesus sell my ass for $20?
Yeah, baby, but it's only temporary. See you've got a special talent and with Jesus to protect and nurture that talent, we can save up enough money to buy a big house in a great neighborhood when you retire (die) and you'll live forever and never have to work again. Just a few more years and you and Jesus can retire in paradise, but for now get yo ass back on that corner and don't come back without his money.
Demented Hamsters
06-10-2006, 15:18
Yeah, baby, but it's only temporary. See you've got a special talent and with Jesus to protect and nurture that talent, we can save up enough money to buy a big house in a great neighborhood when you retire (die) and you'll live forever and never have to work again. Just a few more years and you and Jesus can retire in paradise, but for now get yo ass back on that corner and don't come back without his money.
Are you sure I'll never have to work again?
What if in Heaven we are just hos for the Angels?
Slartiblartfast
06-10-2006, 15:20
He sounds like the love child of Billy Graham and Vanilla Ice :(
Dinaverg
06-10-2006, 15:29
Pimpin'... http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif (NO PORN?!?!?!?!?)
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y138/Dragonkirby/Hocky.png
I should really have a Jesus kirby...
Herspegova
06-10-2006, 15:34
Next, Jack is brought up on stage—a large, goateed man wearing shorts and a red, picnic-table-patterned shirt. Jack is a former porn addict who uses today’s hip-hop language to make an impact on youth.
“Yo!” he begins, telling it like it is. “Pornography went into my home and destroyed my marriage. Satan is pimpin’ this generation, and the first stop is the church. We’ve chosen the role of the ho! The devil’s a pimp; don’t be his ho. Let Jesus be your pimp. Say no to porn. No porn!”
Yes pornography just sauntered up to his house, knocked on his door and said:
"Hello, sir! I'm pronography, and I'm here to destroy your marriage! Don't try to stop me, as I've been sent by Satan himself!"
Bollocks.
The Neptunian Number
06-10-2006, 15:41
If he wasn't into porn it would have been something else....
Gambling, women, drink...
You know, all the good stuff.
Drunk commies deleted
06-10-2006, 22:42
http://i12.tinypic.com/49b0dg7.jpg