NationStates Jolt Archive

Has your two year old got a chest cold? Try this family remedy. Give the kid enough morphine to hospitalize him or her. The cold will soon be forgotten.

http://www.wftv.com/irresistible/9999306/detail.html

Jesus, I don't think I ever rooted for the cancer before. :eek:

lucky baby :(

When I first saw the picture of the mother, I thought it was a guy. (s)he even has an adams apple!
You can't tell me that cancer does that to you.


Maybe the mother was just trying out some good old-fashioned Victorian remedies. My neighbour back in NZ had a 'cylopedia' from the 19th Century that pretty much asigned opium for every ailment. Except for piles. For that it recommended sticking a speedball up your ass (morphine + cocaine). Didn't cure them, but you no longer gave a damn.

My great grandmother used all kinds of scary home remedies. And set the families broken bones herself. Yikes!

Does anyone else find it amusing that this story took place in Florida?

Morphine for a cold. I suppose if you take enough, you won't be bothered by that pesky chest congestion. She doesn't seem to be one of your brighter lights though, eh?

Morphine? For a cold? Can we say "overkill", child?

What can we expect from someone named Marta. Her mom and dad must have hated her.

Morphine? For a cold? Can we say "overkill", child?
The child's not gonna be saying much of anything for awhile lol

No fair she got morphine and I didn't.

I just got sent to school and was told to deal with it.

No fair she got morphine and I didn't.

I just got sent to school and was told to deal with it.

School? At two years old? Anyway, I'm with you. I never got morphine. I had to make do with huffing roach spray.

What can we expect from someone named Marta. Her mom and dad must have hated her.

:( My sister's name is Marta, but she was adopted when my parent's were living in Colombia - I'm sure it's not considered a horrible name down there. I rather like the name myself, though the woman pictured in that article certainly doesn't do it justice.

I didn't know they gave patients take away morphine. I'm impressed.

I didn't know they gave patients take away morphine. I'm impressed.
Happens everywhere, and not just for C-patients. My Dad's got a broken neck and he was proscribed morphine for years, until they changed the prescription system. I never even knew that's what he was taking until he mentioned it one day. I just thought they heavy duty painkillers (which I guess they were). He's now on a type of synthetic morphine, which supposedly doesn't have the addicting features - though apparently, morphine isn't particularly addictive if you're actually in pain. It just kills the pain rather than give you a high.

That's also why C-patients are a target for heroin addicts.
Also, some will sell their morphine to dealers. I used to know a few H-addicts about 10 years ago back in NZ and the going rate for the morphine from C-patients was $50 a pill. Apparently the quality was excellent.

Why do they sell? For many, to raise enough money for their own funerals. Indeed, some addicts would raid a C-patient's home during the funeral service to get all the unused morphine before it's chucked out.

Seriously fucked up to say the least.

:( My sister's name is Marta, but she was adopted when my parent's were living in Colombia - I'm sure it's not considered a horrible name down there. I rather like the name myself, though the woman pictured in that article certainly doesn't do it justice.

Where I'm from, Marta (MARTA) is something you ride on.

I'd give the real meaning of the acronym, but I prefer the colloquial version -- Moving Assholes Rapidly Through Atlanta.

I would have gave them vodka

I would have gave them vodka
I've found that is by far the best (indeed only) remedy that works for me when I have the 'flu.
1/2 a bottle and I'm ready to run a marathon and go 10 rounds with Tyson.
At the same time.

Where I'm from, Marta (MARTA) is something you ride on.

I'd give the real meaning of the acronym, but I prefer the colloquial version -- Moving Assholes Rapidly Through Atlanta.

(Off topic, sorry...)

Yes, and you also have a Delta hub -- stands for Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport.

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)