NationStates Jolt Archive

So... Shaed has gone and fallen for a gay guy. Who is 16.

This is bad because a) Shaed is, in fact a girl and b) Shaed is 19 >.>

So - I figured I would ask the single largest group of people I know for opinions on the matter.

If you are gay, would you ever make an exception for a sexual or non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender? If you are straight, same question with all the relevent genders swapped? If you are bi, have you ever tried to turn someone your way despite their sexuality? Sucess stories? Pitfalls? Advice in general (beyond just "duuuuude, you're fucked" because I already know that >.>)

Also, because everyone loves polls; BEHOLD! A POLL! (coming soon to a thread near you)

Also please note: I am NOT talking about purely sexual relationships - saying "Well, I'd go gay/straight for <x actor/model/singer/etc>" doesn't count. I'm talking about making an exception and having an *emotional* relationship, with or without sex.

I would have to say no, because I just don't find myself attracted to other men.

Straight, no exceptions. I'm not attracted to other women - I already have all those parts quite nicely thanks. I do like being regular friends though. Normal friends of both genders are good.

So... Shaed has gone and fallen for a gay guy. Who is 16.

This is bad because a) Shaed is, in fact a girl and b) Shaed is 19 >.>

So - I figured I would ask the single largest group of people I know for opinions on the matter.

If you are gay, would you ever make an exception for a sexual or non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender? If you are straight, same question with all the relevent genders swapped? If you are bi, have you ever tried to turn someone your way despite their sexuality? Sucess stories? Pitfalls? Advice in general (beyond just "duuuuude, you're fucked" because I already know that >.>)

Also, because everyone loves polls; BEHOLD! A POLL! (coming soon to a thread near you)

Also please note: I am NOT talking about purely sexual relationships - saying "Well, I'd go gay/straight for <x actor/model/singer/etc>" doesn't count. I'm talking about making an exception and having an *emotional* relationship, with or without sex.

If a lesbian approached you, what would you say?

Eh, no, he's gay.

So forget about that. Wouldn't end well, even if you did make a conversion.

Damn, where's Fass when you need him?

you know, if we are already labeling everybody im gonna say this... gays are much more... "relaxed" when it comes to realitionships... so there wont be any harm in just asking the guy...

i mean its not like he would dis own ya is it?

p.s. iv noticed the first two threads iv left comments on are bout ppl with realtionship problems... is this a common problem for players of Nationstates? :confused:

you know, if we are already labeling everybody im gonna say this... gays are much more... "relaxed" when it comes to realitionships... so there wont be any harm in just asking the guy...

i mean its not like he would dis own ya is it?

p.s. iv noticed the first two threads iv left comments on are bout ppl with realtionship problems... is this a common problem for players of Nationstates? :confused:

This is the internet. The majority of people on the internet are 16 year olds who play Counterstrike and WoW 10 hours a day. Connect the dots.

ah but id like to think that nationstaes doesnt have players who are online for 10 hour sessions... considering it takes me about 10 mins a day to sort out the issues....

So... Shaed has gone and fallen for a gay guy. Who is 16.

This is bad because a) Shaed is, in fact a girl and b) Shaed is 19 >.>

So - I figured I would ask the single largest group of people I know for opinions on the matter.

If you are gay, would you ever make an exception for a sexual or non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender? If you are straight, same question with all the relevent genders swapped? If you are bi, have you ever tried to turn someone your way despite their sexuality? Sucess stories? Pitfalls? Advice in general (beyond just "duuuuude, you're fucked" because I already know that >.>)

Also, because everyone loves polls; BEHOLD! A POLL! (coming soon to a thread near you)

Also please note: I am NOT talking about purely sexual relationships - saying "Well, I'd go gay/straight for <x actor/model/singer/etc>" doesn't count. I'm talking about making an exception and having an *emotional* relationship, with or without sex.

Sexuality is not absolute despite what senseless homophobes and militant homosexuals would have you believe. Both gay activists and anti-gay crusaders have a strong interest in forcing people to pick a side and stay there.

The truth is that sexual preference is not that easy and can even change as one gets older. It is true that some people are absolutely and unswayingly attracted to the same or opposite sex and would never consider the other. But far more people fall somewhere between the two poles. Or they would if the vocal minority would just shut the hell up for a generation or two.

SO to answer your question, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that a self-described homosexual male can find you attractive and have a relationship with you. Understand, however, that he will probably still find men attractive. Though that is no excuse for infidelity. *nod*

You're not gay if you "make exceptions"; you're bi.

You're not gay if you "make exceptions"; you're bi.

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/bs.gif

If a lesbian approached you, what would you say?

Well, I'm bi. So... it would depend on the person, not the gender.

<McSnip for length> - but yay, someone who shares my hopes/beliefs about sexuality and society...


SO to answer your question, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that a self-described homosexual male can find you attractive and have a relationship with you. Understand, however, that he will probably still find men attractive. Though that is no excuse for infidelity. *nod*

Well, I'm *also* attracted to guys as well, so it's not like I'd be complaining :p. And infidelity is slightly less of a problem anyway, since I'm verging on being one of those Open Relationships For The Win people...

You're not gay if you "make exceptions"; you're bi.

Bah, I KNEW I should have left that NB in the original post: Of course you are right - but some people 'consider' themselves one way or the other but would make 'exceptions'. So I meant 'self-described' gays/straights, as opposed to the more literal 'straight = only opposite ever' and 'gay = only same ever' definitions.

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/bs.gif

What other definition is there for someone attracted to both sexes? Bisexual is the correct term, gay isn't.

EDIT: Sexually attracted.

ah but id like to think that nationstaes doesnt have players who are online for 10 hour sessions... considering it takes me about 10 mins a day to sort out the issues....
well you like to think wrong. General is the main attraction to generalites, and the issues are just a stop on the way there or back. Definately not the other way around.

To Shaed, I can't say that your chances look too great. The best you can do is be friends with him. That can be emotional and non-sexual, like you want, and not have all the love and fidelity issues that would come up otherwise (who wants'em anyway?).

and three years difference is nothing.

As a pansexual, I don't think I'll ever understand you people with your labelling.
I'd say might as well try, at worst, you're where you're at if you don't try.

So... Shaed has gone and fallen for a gay guy. Who is 16.

This is bad because a) Shaed is, in fact a girl and b) Shaed is 19 >.>

So - I figured I would ask the single largest group of people I know for opinions on the matter.

If you are gay, would you ever make an exception for a sexual or non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender? If you are straight, same question with all the relevent genders swapped? If you are bi, have you ever tried to turn someone your way despite their sexuality? Sucess stories? Pitfalls? Advice in general (beyond just "duuuuude, you're fucked" because I already know that >.>)

Also, because everyone loves polls; BEHOLD! A POLL! (coming soon to a thread near you)

Also please note: I am NOT talking about purely sexual relationships - saying "Well, I'd go gay/straight for <x actor/model/singer/etc>" doesn't count. I'm talking about making an exception and having an *emotional* relationship, with or without sex.remember, I am one who is without a relationship... so take my advice with a grain of salt.

there is nothing wrong with you being older than him. also, foster a friendship first. he might be Bi after all, or you might make him bi. ;) test the water and go slow.

As a pansexual...

You are sexually attracted to cookware? :confused:

























;) I'm just joking. I know what you meant.

Heh, so he was gay after all? Duuuude, you're fucked. ;)

Personally, I don't think i'd make an exception. I've been offered before and declined. But i'll attempt to be helpful. He's 16. He might not be completely sure about his sexual orientation. So chin up, and stuff.

What other definition is there for someone attracted to both sexes? Bisexual is the correct term, gay isn't.

EDIT: Sexually attracted.

There are no definitions.

But more specifically, what do you call someone who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, but not averse to the same sex and promiscuous enough to enjoy both. Though that person was likely to only form a relationship with a member of the opposite sex?

What do you call a heterosexual who experimented in his or her youth?

What do you call a closet homosexual who got married and had a couple kids because society expected it of him, but eventually decided to 'stop living a lie'?

Sorry, but sexual labels are a political tool used by people obsessed with sex. Who someone boinks is simply not important enough to categorize people with.

snipped for you convenience

Hang on, TWO serious posts by LG in the same thread??


Run to the hills!

Hang on, TWO serious posts by LG in the same thread??


Run to the hills!

Quick... hold him down... we need to find out what he did with the real LG! :eek:

I wouldn't.

Hang on, TWO serious posts by LG in the same thread??


Run to the hills!

There's no escape. :)

Quick... hold him down... we need to find out what he did with the real LG! :eek:

It's a passing thing. Like a hiccup. :)

It's a passing thing. Like a hiccup. :)

It better be... *shakes fist*

Oh, it's her.

a) 3 years? Mylady, worry not.

b) Sexuality? There's not a single lady to be found in the history of my girlfriends who knew she could also be interested in women before they were with me. LG's not only one hell of a poster, he's even spot on when serious.

Well, I'm bi. So... it would depend on the person, not the gender.

<McSnip for length> - but yay, someone who shares my hopes/beliefs about sexuality and society...


Well, I'm *also* attracted to guys as well, so it's not like I'd be complaining :p. And infidelity is slightly less of a problem anyway, since I'm verging on being one of those Open Relationships For The Win people...



Bah, I KNEW I should have left that NB in the original post: Of course you are right - but some people 'consider' themselves one way or the other but would make 'exceptions'. So I meant 'self-described' gays/straights, as opposed to the more literal 'straight = only opposite ever' and 'gay = only same ever' definitions.

Fine. What if you were straight. Straghter than the guys from Dragnet. Is a dude apporached him what do you think he would say.

There are no definitions.
Rubbish. Of course there is definitions, you just don't agree with them.

But more specifically, what do you call someone who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, but not averse to the same sex and promiscuous enough to enjoy both. Though that person was likely to only form a relationship with a member of the opposite sex?
I call them straight. You've specified that they're only attracted to the opposite sex, which makes them straight. Straight and promiscuous.

What do you call a heterosexual who experimented in his or her youth?
Straight. They're almost without exception attracted to people of the opposite sex - the gay sex was just that - an experiment.

What do you call a closet homosexual who got married and had a couple kids because society expected it of him, but eventually decided to 'stop living a lie'?
I call them gay. Once again, they're only sexually attracted to the same sex, the rest is just sex without attraction.

Sorry, but sexual labels are a political tool used by people obsessed with sex. Who someone boinks is simply not important enough to categorize people with.

I call them gay. You've specified that they're only attracted to the opposite sex, which makes them gay. Gay and promiscuous.

I'm confused.

I'm confused.

Me too.

My bad. Post edited.

Nope. If you're not attracted to girls, then you're not attracted to girls, just gotta deal with it.

So... Shaed has gone and fallen for a gay guy. Who is 16.

This is bad because a) Shaed is, in fact a girl and b) Shaed is 19 >.>

So - I figured I would ask the single largest group of people I know for opinions on the matter.

If you are gay, would you ever make an exception for a sexual or non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender? If you are straight, same question with all the relevent genders swapped? If you are bi, have you ever tried to turn someone your way despite their sexuality? Sucess stories? Pitfalls? Advice in general (beyond just "duuuuude, you're fucked" because I already know that >.>)

Also, because everyone loves polls; BEHOLD! A POLL! (coming soon to a thread near you)

Also please note: I am NOT talking about purely sexual relationships - saying "Well, I'd go gay/straight for <x actor/model/singer/etc>" doesn't count. I'm talking about making an exception and having an *emotional* relationship, with or without sex.

The only honest answer you should ever get when 'straight' or 'gay' is selected is - unfortunately - not a poll option.

That is: "as far as I know".

Personally, I'm totally with LG on this one... I think relationships are, ultimately, about people, and not about our classifications of ourselves and each other.

Example: I am straight 'as far as I know'. I have only ever (really) been attracted to girls. (You can't count Johnny Depp). But - that doesn't mean I will never meet a guy for which ALL of it becomes unimportant.

Indeed, I think it ridiculous for anyone to think they can state with certainty that such a thing (or any thing) could happen.

I can certainly envision that I could have close relationships with other guys, maybe without the sex. So - why say I know about the sex?


Regarding the specific issue... it might depend on the people. Your 'gay' friend might be the 'gay' equivalent of the Dread Pirate Roberts. He might not be 'gay'... just 'mostly gay'.

Nope. If you're not attracted to girls, then you're not attracted to girls, just gotta deal with it.

If your debating partner ignorant and dogmatic, then they're ignorant and dogmatic; just gotta deal with it.

Honestly, many of us have shown and told in this thread what you're saying just doesn't match reality- why make such a blanket statement now?

P.S. Hey, Uncle Gravy! Talk of/TG the devil..

[..] (You can't count Johnny Depp)[..]

Thanks for giving me absolution for my notorious sin of, umm, liking JD despite my unwavering dykeness. You'll be appropriately honored and rewarded for your saving kindness.

Sorry for picking up the only non-serious part of your post.

I can't force myself to be attracted to anyone but girls, and even then I have a hard time.

I can't force myself to be attracted to anyone but girls, and even then I have a hard time.

This is not about being forced anywhere. This is about suddenly being attracted to someone of the other sex than the one you usually are attracted to without any forcing or conscious effort going on.

This is not about being forced anywhere. This is about suddenly being attracted to someone of the other sex than the one you usually are attracted to without any forcing or conscious effort going on.

I demand you get back online. *pouts*

Thanks for giving me absolution for my notorious sin of, umm, liking JD despite my unwavering dykeness. You'll be appropriately honored and rewarded for your saving kindness.

Sorry for picking up the only non-serious part of your post.

It's not entirely non-serious. That guy is 'beautiful', in a way that a lot of guys aren't. Kind of in the same way that Angelina Jolie is kinda 'handsome'.

Those two should marry... they'd make a most androgynous couple.

I didn't realise you were unwaveringly dykelicious... I guess that means I have to stop having that dream now...;)