NationStates Jolt Archive


Fast Love

Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 07:37
Has this happen to anyone else? You're talking to someone, and yall hit it off, and yall find some common ground. Either on the same day, the next day or a few days after yall met, he/she tells you that he/she loves you. Am I the only one who think that for you to really love someone, you have to know them for more than a few days to two weeks? I don't know about yall, but for me, you can't really love someone until you actually know them, like inside and out and seen them in their best and worst etc. I just think people who say they love you so soon after yall met, are just caught up in the moment and the honeymoom feeling. That usually is a big turn off for me.
Anglachel and Anguirel
26-09-2006, 07:41
Has this happen to anyone else? You're talking to someone, and yall hit it off, and yall find some common ground. Either on the same day, the next day or a few days after yall met, he/she tells you that he/she loves you. Am I the only one who think that for you to really love someone, you have to know them for more than a few days to two weeks? I don't know about yall, but for me, you can't really love someone until you actually know them, like inside and out and seen them in their best and worst etc. I just think people who say they love you so soon after yall met, are just caught up in the moment and the honeymoom feeling. That usually is a big turn off for me.
You have a good point. I personally don't think that you can love someone until you know their faults, too, and generally a few days isn't long enough to get familiar with all someone's imperfections.

However, you might be so in love with someone else, at first sight, that you're quite sure that no matter the other's faults, you'll love them anyway. I don't know whether that sort of feeling is at all accurate, having never had the "love at first sight" experience.
Cabra West
26-09-2006, 07:42
It's the difference between "loving" and "being in love" :D

I'm in love right now with my cute boyfriend, after meeting him twice IRL. Doesn't mean I love him yet, but it might just turn out that way. People tend to confuse those two emotions a lot, though.
Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 07:42
You have a good point. I personally don't think that you can love someone until you know their faults, too, and generally a few days isn't long enough to get familiar with all someone's imperfections.

However, you might be so in love with someone else, at first sight, that you're quite sure that no matter the other's faults, you'll love them anyway. I don't know whether that sort of feeling is at all accurate, having never had the "love at first sight" experience.

Meh "love at first sight" is a myth that only occurs in romantic novels (porn for women) and romantic movies.
Zanato
26-09-2006, 07:49
There is a prolonged period of falling in love. It takes time for the bond to solidify.

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

Until that point, you're in it for yourself and how the other person makes you feel. Once you can claim with total honesty that you would give them up if it meant the difference between their happiness or unhappiness, love has been achieved. It is innately selfless.
Anglachel and Anguirel
26-09-2006, 07:49
Meh "love at first sight" is a myth that only occurs in romantic novels (porn for women) and romantic movies.

Romantic novels=porn for women

Interesting thought... you know, it's definitely accurate.

I have talked to a few people who say they've had experiences that could be described as "love at first sight." I know other people who are best friends for four years before they finally start going out.
Not bad
26-09-2006, 07:51
Has this happen to anyone else? You're talking to someone, and yall hit it off, and yall find some common ground. Either on the same day, the next day or a few days after yall met, he/she tells you that he/she loves you. Am I the only one who think that for you to really love someone, you have to know them for more than a few days to two weeks? I don't know about yall, but for me, you can't really love someone until you actually know them, like inside and out and seen them in their best and worst etc. I just think people who say they love you so soon after yall met, are just caught up in the moment and the honeymoom feeling. That usually is a big turn off for me.

Tm no expert, as everytime I thought that I was in love forever I was mistaken. But others have related experiences to me in which they knew almost immediately that they had found "the one" and many of these are still married or shacked up 20 years and more later. Maybe these were just as deluded as most of us are and got lucky. Maybe they work harder at it than most of us. Or maybe, just maybe they have some sense which I dont have for these things or my "love alarm" has never actually gone off and Ive responded to false alarms only.
Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 07:51
Romantic novels=porn for women

Interesting thought... you know, it's definitely accurate.


Ohhh yea, see guys like to have pictures and videos, but women, they prefer long discriptive novels about basically the same thibng! lol.
Cabra West
26-09-2006, 07:51
Meh "love at first sight" is a myth that only occurs in romantic novels (porn for women) and romantic movies.

"Love" or "falling in love"?
Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 07:52
Tm no expert, as everytime I thought that I was in love forever I was mistaken. But others have related experiences to me in which they knew almost immediately that they had found "the one" and many of these are still married or shacked up 20 years and more later. Maybe these were just as deluded as most of us are and got lucky. Maybe they work harder at it than most of us. Or maybe, just maybe they have some sense which I dont have for these things or my "love alarm" has never actually gone off and Ive responded to false alarms only.

Yea, there are those who are like that, eh I guess my personal prefrence is that I like to take it slow.
Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 07:53
"Love" or "falling in love"?

Had one woman say that she loved me, had another one said that she was falling in love with me, so I dunno.
Anglachel and Anguirel
26-09-2006, 07:54
"Love" or "falling in love"?
What if we add a new term to our vocabulary-- infatuation. I think that infatuation is what it's most likely to be if there's something going on "at first sight". It may turn into love later on, though.
Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 07:54
What if we add a new term to our vocabulary-- infatuation. I think that infatuation is what it's most likely to be if there's something going on "at first sight". It may turn into love later on, though.

exactly!
Anglachel and Anguirel
26-09-2006, 07:56
exactly!
Glad somebody agrees with me.

I'm not exactly clear on what the difference is between "love" and "falling in love". I know that "love" can apply to Platonic stuff, too, but I think that's outside the scope of this conversation. Anybody care to clarify for me?
Cabra West
26-09-2006, 07:56
What if we add a new term to our vocabulary-- infatuation. I think that infatuation is what it's most likely to be if there's something going on "at first sight". It may turn into love later on, though.

Perfect description :D
Wilgrove
26-09-2006, 08:05
Glad somebody agrees with me.

I'm not exactly clear on what the difference is between "love" and "falling in love". I know that "love" can apply to Platonic stuff, too, but I think that's outside the scope of this conversation. Anybody care to clarify for me?

I'm thinking of love, like the kind of love a boyfriend and girlfriend would have with one another, a couple that is romantically involved, engaged, or married etc.
Posi
26-09-2006, 08:08
Love is just a state brought on by a release of hormones that forces obsestion with that person long enough that you can mate and make sure the kid sees a birthday or two.
Anglachel and Anguirel
26-09-2006, 08:14
Love is just a state brought on by a release of hormones that forces obsestion with that person long enough that you can mate and make sure the kid sees a birthday or two.
Says you :D
Zanato
26-09-2006, 08:28
Love is just a state brought on by a release of hormones that forces obsestion with that person long enough that you can mate and make sure the kid sees a birthday or two.

Physiologically speaking.