NationStates Jolt Archive

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!

It depends. Is she your 1st cousin?

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!Alright, out with it, who are you really? We can't give no-bassis bad advice as per usual if we don't even have the option of working off/ridiculing your familiar web-persona!

1st cousin?

It depends. Is she your 1st cousin?

Yes

Well you're someone's puppet, so somebody here doesn't want us to know about that West Virignia streak running though him.

But beyond that, if you're not first cousins, it should be okay. If you are first cousins, move to West Virginia.

It's disturbing as all fuck.

Then yeah, that's wrong...

Yes

...erm. That's quite a dilemma. If you can keep it secret, and don't have kids, go for it I suppose.

If it feels good, do it.

YesTo be honest, it isn't the end of the world. 1st cousins used to get married all the time - it isn't crazily disturbing, (though that prrobably depends what kind of family you come from). Not that I'm advocating that you marry her, but you won't be struck down by lightning or anything if you sleep with her till it gets boring and move on.

I do not think it's wrong if you both have strong feelings for each others.

Now if you should go on... I can't tell for you, you've to be aware of all the problems it may lead to: problems within your family, with the reaction of other people, and an increased risk of malformed kid.

But if you love her, the opinion of others shouldn't stop you... and for the risk of malformed kid, I think nowadays you can do genetic tests of both of you to see how real they are, and you can also do tests on the embryo to check if it's sane or not. Maybe you should ask a doctor about it ? That's most serious issue, IMHO.

Cousins are gateway fetishes to hard core incest addiction.
It's all fun and games until you find that youve gouged your eyes out Oedipus.

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!

*Tasmania joke*

...erm. That's quite a dilemma. If you can keep it secret, and don't have kids, go for it I suppose.

Secret's out :rolleyes:

Thank you, for making me feel better about my own insecurities. Really, your issue dwarfs mine so much it just makes me warm inside. I just... *hugs you* Thanks! ;)

Mmmmm...

It's probably ok to sleep with her and keep it secret, but don't take the relationship anywhere.

Secret's out :rolleyes:

from people who matter, not random internet stranger (TM)!

Cousins are gateway fetishes to hard core incest addiction.
It's all fun and games until you find that youve gouged your eyes out Oedipus.

You win for the Oedipus reference.

I see nothing wrong with it. If you both wanna have sex with each other what does some common dna matter? Hell if she was your sister I'd still say go for it.

I see nothing wrong with it. If you both wanna have sex with each other what does some common dna matter? Hell if she was your sister I'd still say go for it.

Wow... a person more open minded then me... that's scary.

Hmmm, With most of your genes being given to you by your Parent of opposite gender....

Do you plan on having children (I'm assuming not), If so, leave a family tree here and We can check if it is dangerous.

If not, have fun ;)

Wow... a person more open minded then me... that's scary.
Yet the perrenial question remains: When does open minded morph into twisted?

Hmmm, With most of your genes being given to you by your Parent of opposite gender....
Someone missed out of DNA segregation & gamete fusion 101. You get equal amounts from each parent.

The law of my family is clear, we don't have relationships with people closer than 7 generations. So in my book it's entirely wrong. The results could be disasterous if your relationship would turn into real love and marriage with a children. Life can surprise you, there are reasons for taboos :(

Do you plan on having children (I'm assuming not),

We're both very successful in our careers, have long-term plans to make lots of money and..... most of all, NOT to have kids! With each other, or anyone. So yeah, you'd assume right there.

Thanks for the varied opinions. I actually feel better now! Even though some of you say it is wrong... I kinda feel like there are some people who it doesn't surprise/shock/whatever.

This is very confusing, as marriage is out of the question and the idea of children is out of the question. If fun and games is all it is, then fair enough...

But if you do decide to have children, and if she's hot enough, send her my way ;)

Remember...incest? Such a dark shame, it should be kept in the family

The law of my family is clear, we don't have relationships with people closer than 7 generations.
I'm sorry, your family has rules on how related you can be and still knock boots?

Anyway, I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong in the "this should be banned" sense with it, although I find it a little unnerving. Don't get too attached.

The law of my family is clear, we don't have relationships with people closer than 7 generations. So in my book it's entirely wrong. The results could be disasterous if your relationship would turn into real love and marriage with a children. Life can surprise you, there are reasons for taboos :(

Well, that's true. But nowadays, with modern genetics, you can check how high the risk is, and lower a lot it by doing genetic tests. That's why I advised the OP to ask a doctor. Risk zero never exists, but that's true every time you have a child...

Legally, you're fine.

Morally, I'd say you're fine, provided you don't have kids. What you do with your own body, and anyone else's provided they're up for it, is fine with me, but the increased risk of genetic disease raises some moral issues. It isn't a massively increased risk, however, if she's your cousin.

My advice: Use protection.

I don't think it's immoral at all. The only harm that can come of it, since you don't plan on having children, is the societal/familial resistance, which of course is a case not of morality but of prejudice.

Looking at genetic conditions in families. It's more dagerous to potential children to be second cousins than first cousins.

Not that you're planning on them, but if there's an accident, you are fairly safe, assuming there is some bad genes there, it's only like a 1/10 chance (2nd cousins being about 1/4)


~Smiles~ Is there any thread I can't kill?

Morally, I think it's perfectly okay if both are consentual. I don't know how it is legally where you live, but here in Sweden marriage between cousins is perfectly legal.

And for all those of you warning him not to have kids, do some friggin' reading. First cousins share only 1/8 common DNA. The risk of genetic disorders between cousins is 4-6% compared to 2-3% for non-related couples. That is a miniscule risk that is easily overcome by genetic counseling. You say you don't want kids anyway, but in case that changes things like this are good to know.

All that's left is the social taboo. If people around you can't accept who you and your cousin fall in love with, I say screw 'em. ;)

Don't forget that Queen Victoria, FDR, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin and Bach all married cousins.

It's not wrong. If it feels good and doesn't harm anyone, do it. I've no idea if it is legal or not, though...

If it feels good, do it.

What he said. :)

I find very little wrong with having a relationship with your cousin.

I dont think its "wrong", so much as its a bad idea.

You guys are family, and if you guys get serious and have a falling out, what kind of strains will this place on your relationship?

Is this morally wrong?

Depends on your personal morals. :p

I know of plenty of first cousin marriages. It was quite common in rural south India (greatly reduced nowadays) and places such as Pakistan, Afghanistan etc (where it is still going strong). In fact, my own grandma married her first cousin. :eek:

But I would strongly caution against having kids. Have seen too many bad products, especially when "first cousin marriages" runs through the family for generations. :(

Wow ... you mean 1st cousin fucking is legal in the UK, but illegal in Texas?

Amazing!

Learn somethin' new every day.

Anyway ... morally wrong? Nah. Knock yourselves out, man. Enjoy it.

A little strange, but to each their own, eh?

Don't forget that Queen Victoria, FDR, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin and Bach all married cousins.It used to be very common. Still is in some places of the world, I think.
Heh.. reminds me of a pope, centuries ago, that forbade marriages between people that are up to 11(?)th degree family, which would pretty much have excluded anyone marrying. Except of course people never checked it, unless they wanted a marriage annulled.

Wow ... you mean 1st cousin fucking is legal in the UK, but illegal in Texas?

Amazing!

Learn somethin' new every day.

Anyway ... morally wrong? Nah. Knock yourselves out, man. Enjoy it.

A little strange, but to each their own, eh?

I never knew it was illegal in Texas. Then again, the issue never came up. The only thing that came up looking at my cousins was my lunch.:D

They say that the family who plays together stays together. They may not have meant copulation though.

Go for it. Rock'n'Roll, baby!

All that's left is the social taboo. If people around you can't accept who you and your cousin fall in love with, I say screw 'em. ;)
:D

I think if you even have to ask the question of if it is wrong or not then in your heart you already know the answer. Things like this that have to be done in secret and are hoped to never be revealed to the light of day are usually things that we shouldn't be doing. We can try to justify it to ourselves until we are blue in the face, but if our conscience is still pricked at the end of the day then we should exercise self control and refrain from the activity. Gotta be true to yourself, and not just that second brain between your legs. :)

Don't forget that Queen Victoria, FDR, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin and Bach all married cousins.

How could you forget Jerry Lee Lewis?

Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... Whoever told you that was lying.

I don't see anything wrong with having a relationship with your cousin. Although I have dug out a lot of my mothers old historical and romantic novels.

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!

Whatever dude.
You use protection and as long as its enjoyable go for it.
When (if) you decide to have kids come and ask again, and we'll review.
Should be fine.

We're both very successful in our careers, have long-term plans to make lots of money and..... most of all, NOT to have kids! With each other, or anyone. So yeah, you'd assume right there.

It sounds like you make a good match. If you decide to have a serious relationship together (sharing a house, letting your family know) I'd suggest that you think about getting the snip. Just to be on the safe side. ;)

Post pics of your cousin and we'll tell you if boinking her is wrong :D

sick.

Post pics of your cousin and we'll tell you if boinking her is wrong :D
*concurs heartily*

Don't see anything wrong with it. I dated my step sister for a while and my family was fine with it. But then that was before we became relate by marrige.

I see nothing wrong with it. If you both wanna have sex with each other what does some common dna matter? Hell if she was your sister I'd still say go for it.

I agree.

To the OP, do you really need anyone's approval? You're both adults. Don't let your uncle find out, and don't have kids with her. Otherwise, have fun. :fluffle:

I see no problem, there doesnt appear to be any element of coercion or untoward exploitation. Everyone appears competently consensual. That being the case so long as you and your cousin are happy with the situation, so am I.

My opinion: Sure, why not? Not my life, so why should I give a f**k?

If you want to do it, do it.

*concurs heartily*

More people need to quote me with stuff like this. It inflates my ego. Soon I will attach my ego to NSG and alow it to fly.....

I don't think that something being socially acceptable or not has any bearing on wether it is morally wrong or not.

You already know that what you are doing is wrong, or you wouldn't be uncomfortable about it.

Your true question I believe is this: Would you guys condemn me for doing this?

I'm not inclined to judge you (I avoid judging people when ever I can). But you know most people are not inclined to be as tolerant as I am. The fact that you are attracted to things that are socially unacceptable is probably going to cause you a lot of trouble and grief, and you should try to overcome that urge, in my opinion (get some counciling if you need it).

This relationship sounds purely physical, and I find that those sort of relationships are usually fairly injurious to the emotional well being of those involved in them. But If you are looking for someone to settle down with, and raise a family, you should look else were. Marriage is hard, and it would be that much harder with the kind of societal preasure you can expect to encounter, in this relationship, bearing down on you.

I don't think that something being socially acceptable or not has any bearing on wether it is morally wrong or not.

You already know that what you are doing is wrong, or you wouldn't be uncomfortable about it.

Your true question I believe is this: Would you guys condemn me for doing this?

I'm not inclined to judge you (I avoid judging people when ever I can). But you know most people are not inclined to be as tolerant as I am. The fact that you are attracted to things that are socially unacceptable is probably going to cause you a lot of trouble and grief, and you should try to overcome that urge, in my opinion (get some counciling if you need it).

This relationship sounds purely physical, and I find that those sort of relationships are usually fairly injurious to the emotional well being of those involved in them. But If you are looking for someone to settle down with, and raise a family, you should look else were. Marriage is hard, and it would be that much harder with the kind of societal preasure you can expect to encounter, in this relationship, bearing down on you.
IMO that's irrelevant because you really shouldn't be paying attention to the opinions of people like that.

I don't think that something being socially acceptable or not has any bearing on wether it is morally wrong or not.

You already know that what you are doing is wrong, or you wouldn't be uncomfortable about it.

Your true question I believe is this: Would you guys condemn me for doing this?

Something is wrong because it's socially unacceptable??? :eek: What kind of reasoning is THAT?


I'm not inclined to judge you (I avoid judging people when ever I can). But you know most people are not inclined to be as tolerant as I am. The fact that you are attracted to things that are socially unacceptable is probably going to cause you a lot of trouble and grief, and you should try to overcome that urge, in my opinion (get some counciling if you need it).

This relationship sounds purely physical, and I find that those sort of relationships are usually fairly injurious to the emotional well being of those involved in them. But If you are looking for someone to settle down with, and raise a family, you should look else were. Marriage is hard, and it would be that much harder with the kind of societal preasure you can expect to encounter, in this relationship, bearing down on you.

If he ever said he was going to marry her, I must have missed that post. Let the kids have fun.

According to the German Civil Code of Law (Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch), § 1307 BGB, what you are doing is not illegal for you'd be allowed to marry her.
Now, whether what is not illegal is deemed morally okay is another matter - I wouldn't want to marry my cousins because it is kind of, well, "creepy-wrong". But that's just how I'd feel about it (and my cousins).

Although, should you ever reconsider on having kids, you have to be aware that you and your cousin share 25% of your genetic makeup (disregarding "crossing over"), thus increasing the chances of emphasizing certain genetic traits that run in your family.
(In the rural areas, you sometimes find the typical village idiot who came to pass when it was decided that the property should not be divided by "marrying it off" - my hometown has someone called "The Landgrave" who's family tree is a little straighter than good for him, and it clearly shows physically and mentally...)

As for screwing your cousin:

"I'll allow it!"
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/CelebrityDeathmatchMillsLane.jpg
"Let's get it on!"

If people around you can't accept who you and your cousin fall in love with, I say screw 'em. ;)

As long as they're not closer than 1st cousins ;)

But yeah if no-one finds out and it's just a fling, no problem. If you want to make a go of it then yes probably the biggest problems will be your family/ social world...

Non c'è cosa più divina
che trombarsi la cugina.

(There is no more divine thing
than fucking your own cousin)

Non c'è cosa più divina
che trombarsi la cugina.

(There is no more divine thing
than fucking your own cousin)

:D

depends how hot she is. if shes like angelina jolie or the fitter olsen twin then who can blame you.

Besides... http://imdb.com/title/tt0081614/

If it feels good, do it.

Or her. Or him.

...Although, should you ever reconsider on having kids, you have to be aware that you and your cousin share 25% of your genetic makeup (disregarding "crossing over"), thus increasing the chances of emphasizing certain genetic traits that run in your family....

Um, no. It's actually closer to 12.5%, and the risk of disease has been shown to be increased by 1-2% compared to nonrelated couples, which is a very small increase.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/04/03/health/main505327.shtml

http://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site1319/mainpageS1319P0.html

"Incest", [Marcus] Cicero said gravely to a large crowd of forum frequenters, "is a game the whole family can play."

...erm. That's quite a dilemma. If you can keep it secret, and don't have kids, go for it I suppose.

it's actually not illegal in some US states to marry and reproduce with your first cousin.

http://img284.imageshack.us/img284/2457/usamap20fb.gif

I think they found out that it's not such an uber bad thing to reproduce with a first cousin (my apologies if this has already been discussed)

however,I find many things that are legal to be immoral. I think it's immoral because you are family and things could get very messy and put your family in difficult positions.

Um, no. It's actually closer to 12.5%, and the risk of disease has been shown to be increased by 1-2% compared to nonrelated couples, which is a very small increase.

Yes, you're right! :eek: Damn, I was never good at this probability calculus :headbang:

Anyway, bottom line is, the less, the better. ;)

I'd have said it's odd more than morally wrong. Most people tend to frown on it.

Something is wrong because it's socially unacceptable??? :eek: What kind of reasoning is THAT?

morality is a social construct... therefore his/her reasoning is perfectly valid (sais me)

morality is a social construct... therefore his/her reasoning is perfectly valid (sais me)

Just curious, but at what point does something become morally acceptable or unacceptable? Is it when 30% think it is...50%? 100%? If it is indeed a social construct then it is based on what part of society agrees. So do we arbitrarily pick a percentage or what?

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!

no, her being your cousin isnt immoral. its problematical for reasons already outlined but not inherently wrong due to her being rather closely related to you.

you might want to consider whether or not it is immoral to use another person for your perverse sastifaction. if the only reason you continue this sexual relationship is the thrill you get from doing something wrong, its probably immoral to continue it. that is, of course, up to you to decide.

Just curious, but at what point does something become morally acceptable or unacceptable? Is it when 30% think it is...50%? 100%? If it is indeed a social construct then it is based on what part of society agrees. So do we arbitrarily pick a percentage or what?Whenever it becomes culturally enforced to a significant degree, so that those who do not abide are in some way prosecuted by the rest of the herd.

I say go for it. I wouldn't do it, but I'm no one to judge so bang away.

it's actually not illegal in some US states to marry and reproduce with your first cousin.


That explains a lot. Is there any correlation with voting for Bush?

Whenever it becomes culturally enforced to a significant degree, so that those who do not abide are in some way prosecuted by the rest of the herd.

So since morals are a social construct that depend on the vague "significant degree", we have a number of questions to answer.

How many people does it take for it to be a culture large enough to enforce the morals?
Can we judge other cultures based on our moral construct?
Can we judge past cultures based on our moral construct?
Does prosecution truly equate to a judgement on morals?

That explains a lot. Is there any correlation with voting for Bush?

yeah, a lot of states where it's legal didn't.

If it feels good, do it.

Words of wisdom. I agree. I'm personnally not attracted to my cousins, but hell, if It floats your boat.....

Or her. Or him.

Now you're getting the picture

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!seriously...

you need to talk it over. make sure that it's really what you want!

seriously...

you need to talk it over. make sure that it's really what you want!

True... but if you DO want it, who is stopping you?

True... but if you DO want it, who is stopping you?

if they're not sure, or not prepared for it...

Society's peer pressure. Challanging social "norms" is one thing, but one has to prepare for a fight all the way. and if your family is not behind you... that fight gets harder. :(

if they're not sure, or not prepared for it...

Society's peer pressure. Challanging social "norms" is one thing, but one has to prepare for a fight all the way. and if your family is not behind you... that fight gets harder. :(

Yes, but if they do it right, then it'll be easier.

IF they do it, mind you.

WEll, given that Morals are based on the norms of our culture and society, it would technically be imoral in your culture and society, but maybe not in others. But if it's moral or not is not the question. The question is of your values. She's techically a family member, but if it feels right go for it. If your family members or freinds reject you because of it, it's their problem not yours. They didn't love you or like you in the first place then.

Just my 2 cents.

I need opinions!!!
I have a cousin who is very very attractive who is always coming on to me. I'm 27, she's 21 and we're both the sort of people who get turned on by things that are 'taboo'.
A couple of weeks ago when her parents were away and I went to visit her, I gave in to her and we slept together. It was all very consensual, and I have to add, quite electric as well. Also I've checked this out, and it doesn't appear to be illegal in the UK given that the definition of 'immediate family' doesn't include cousin.
We did agree to forget about it and remain friends, but of course the best laid plans and all....(!) Basically we have done it again since, more than once.
We always use protection, and although it feels wrong, it also feels right, and more enjoyable every time. We're very attracted to each other.
Given the old adage that the General forum can solve any dilemma..... please can I have opinions?
Is what we're doing wrong? If so, does it matter? Should we stop?
Thanks!

Tell us who you are, so we can call Carl Monday, to do an investigative news report thing.

As long as you don’t impregnate her and/or she’s willing to get an abortion if you do.