NationStates Jolt Archive


Does this make me a pedo?

Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 06:13
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(


EDIT:Considering the other thread that just came up, I'm going to say this is a non-issue, you can all go home.
CanuckHeaven
25-09-2006, 06:15
No!!
Posi
25-09-2006, 06:15
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(
I don't know about American law, but in Canada, you are not a pedo if the person is either a) over 16 or b) less than two years younger than you.


You should kidnap her and move to Kanada.
The Alma Mater
25-09-2006, 06:16
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(

In my eyes ? No problem. If the law agrees with me is another matter - might wish to look that up.
Bumboat
25-09-2006, 06:17
If you are 15 and she 14 that's puppy love not pedophilia.
Rock on and good luck but be careful!
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 06:18
If you are 15 and she 14 that's puppy love not pedophilia.
Rock on and good luck but be careful!

But I'll turn 16 in December? Will it be effed up then?
Soviestan
25-09-2006, 06:18
Couple things here champ. one, if shes 14 shes not prepubscent. Pedophiles by definition are attracted to prepubscent(sp?) children. So no your not a pedo. two, your 16 shes 14 its normal to be attracted to girls that age when your 16. Hell you may find yourself attracted to 13 or 14 year old girls when your 17 or 18. Its not that big of a deal so relax.
The Black Forrest
25-09-2006, 06:19
If you are 15 and she 14 that's puppy love not pedophilia.
Rock on and good luck but be careful!

Ditto!
Soviestan
25-09-2006, 06:19
But I'll turn 16 in December? Will it be effed up then?

No it won't. Have fun kid, be safe.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 06:20
Couple things here champ. one, if shes 14 shes not prepubscent. Pedophiles by definition are attracted to prepubscent(sp?) children. So no your not a pedo. two, your 16 shes 14 its normal to be attracted to girls that age when your 16. Hell you may find yourself attracted to 13 or 14 year old girls when your 17 or 18. Its not that big of a deal so relax.

I geuss that makes sense... Thank you.
Posi
25-09-2006, 06:20
But I'll turn 16 in December? Will it be effed up then?
Not if Uncle Sam doesn't find out.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 06:21
Not if Uncle Sam doesn't find out.

Look at this, a moral dillemma and NS fixes it in like three seconds. :) I love you guys.
Posi
25-09-2006, 06:22
Look at this, a moral dillemma and NS fixes it in like three seconds. :) I love you guys.
Then nitpicks cuz it was 7 minutes.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 06:23
Then nitpicks cuz it was 7 minutes.

Never said you were perfect:p
Soviestan
25-09-2006, 06:24
Look at this, a moral dillemma and NS fixes it in like three seconds. :) I love you guys.

Its been proven that NS general can fix any problem in the world. Its true:)
Demented Hamsters
25-09-2006, 06:56
My God, has it really come to this?
Has our obsession and paranoia for the 'safety' of our children gotten so prevalent and invasive that children are now worrying about being thought of as paedophiles just cause they fancy a girl a few months younger than them?

That is so screwed up.


I read today that they're not allowing cameras into the NZ gymnastics competitions because of 'fears' that it will attract paedophiles.
Society really is going overboard.
The Potato Factory
25-09-2006, 07:01
Comrades, despite what the world has told you, it is perfectly natural to be attracted to any pubescent or post-pubescent girl. Welcome to basic animal biology.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:02
My God, has it really come to this?
Has our obsession and paranoia for the 'safety' of our children gotten so prevalent and invasive that children are now worrying about being thought of as paedophiles just cause they fancy a girl a few months younger than them?

That is so screwed up.


I read today that they're not allowing cameras into the NZ gymnastics competitions because of 'fears' that it will attract paedophiles.
Society really is going overboard.

1 year and 5 months. :p
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:04
Comrades, despite what the world has told you, it is perfectly natural to be attracted to any pubescent or post-pubescent girl. Welcome to basic animal biology.

I'm in a baptist school. Anything basic, animal or biological is branded evil. I'm lucky I'm ok with being attracted to someone period.
The Potato Factory
25-09-2006, 07:09
I'm in a baptist school. Anything basic, animal or biological is branded evil. I'm lucky I'm ok with being attracted to someone period.

I love the irony in Protestant churchs being far more radical and conservative that the Catholic Church.
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:12
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(
If that makes you a pedo, then I'm shocked to think about my parents-- they're at least a couple months farther apart in age than you two are!

Seriously, it's not a biggie. It's quite normal for teenagers to form crushes on those in their age group. It's weird when it's an 18-year-old and a 13-year-old, but 16 and 14 is pretty minor.
Hakeka
25-09-2006, 07:13
I'm in a baptist school. Anything basic, animal or biological is branded evil. I'm lucky I'm ok with being attracted to someone period.
You're in America, right? You have the right to question anything and everything. That right is protected by the Constitution. Sure, you might be told not to, but why would God send you to hell for having a little free will? :P

No, you're not a pedophile. I am. :D
And I don't give a shit what anyone says. I can be attracted to anyone I want to. Besides, I would never rape a little kid. That would just cause harm.
Posi
25-09-2006, 07:13
Seriously, it's not a biggie. It's quite normal for teenagers to form crushes on those in their age group. It's weird when it's an 18-year-old and a 13-year-old, but 16 and 14 is pretty minor.
Damn it.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:16
I love the irony in Protestant churchs being far more radical and conservative that the Catholic Church.

Yeah, hilarious ain't it?
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:18
Damn it.

What?

You're in America, right? You have the right to question anything and everything. That right is protected by the Constitution. Sure, you might be told not to, but why would God send you to hell for having a little free will? :P

No, you're not a pedophile. I am. :D
And I don't give a shit what anyone says. I can be attracted to anyone I want to. Besides, I would never rape a little kid. That would just cause harm.
Well as long as you don't cause harm.
Posi
25-09-2006, 07:21
What?
I shall highlight.
Lunatic Goofballs
25-09-2006, 07:26
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(

You bastard! Death by Snoo-snoo! *hires a team of large amazonian women*
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:28
Lunatic Goofballs and pedo threads are like a starving piranha and a 16 oz. steak.
Posi
25-09-2006, 07:29
Lunatic Goofballs and pedo threads are like a starving piranha and a 16 oz. steak.
Que?
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:29
I shall highlight.

Heh. I'm geussing that a coincidence was involved?

You bastard! Death by Snoo-snoo! *hires a team of large amazonian women*
*whimpers* Can I just have one? I might be able to handle one.
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:29
Except that it took him a surprisingly long time to get to this one.
Posi
25-09-2006, 07:30
Heh. I'm geussing that a coincidence was involved?

Que?
Lunatic Goofballs
25-09-2006, 07:30
Lunatic Goofballs and pedo threads are like a starving piranha and a 16 oz. steak.

Mmm... steak! *drool*
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:31
*whimpers* Can I just have one? I might be able to handle one.
Well, since Amazons technically become women at age 13, we'll give you a nice young one to "handle"...
Hakeka
25-09-2006, 07:31
Lunatic Goofballs and pedo threads are like a starving piranha and a 16 oz. steak.
Indeed.

Dammit, I was so stupid! I didn't even notice that shepmagan's location was right there... :headbang:
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:33
Que?

I'm thinking you're 18 and you are/were crushing on a 13 year old.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:34
Indeed.

Dammit, I was so stupid! I didn't even notice that shepmagan's location was right there... :headbang:

:D no one else does either.

Well, since Amazons technically become women at age 13, we'll give you a nice young one to "handle"...
Now you're just profiling.:p This is an individual case I swear.
Lunatic Goofballs
25-09-2006, 07:38
Heh. I'm geussing that a coincidence was involved?


*whimpers* Can I just have one? I might be able to handle one.

*finds one built like Nicole Bass (http://www.frsa.com/bbpix/bass.gif) but more muscular* Here you go. :)
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:40
*finds one built like Nicole Bass (http://www.frsa.com/bbpix/bass.gif) but more muscular* Here you go. :)
What drives people to become female bodybuilders?:confused:
Hakeka
25-09-2006, 07:40
:D no one else does either.
Damn. I should have known! :D
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:41
Hakeka's post has three of the :D smilies. One in the quote, one in the text, and one in the sig.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:41
*finds one built like Nicole Bass (http://www.frsa.com/bbpix/bass.gif) but more muscular* Here you go. :)

That... is not female.
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:42
That... is not female.
Now who's profiling?
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:43
Now who's profiling?

I'm not even sure that's human dude.
Lunatic Goofballs
25-09-2006, 07:43
What drives people to become female bodybuilders?:confused:

Testosterone. :)
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:45
I'm not even sure that's human dude.
Hmm... you may have a point. It looks like something out of a comic book.

Testosterone. :)
Yeah, that's what happened to my gerbil...
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:46
Testosterone. :)

Is this what you do? go around torturing people with pictures?
Lunatic Goofballs
25-09-2006, 07:47
Is this what you do? go around torturing people with pictures?

Yep. *nod*
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:47
Is this what you do? go around torturing people with pictures?
With pictures as well as with words. Though we all know which is more valuable.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:52
Yep. *nod*

You sir, are a bastard. :( What did I do to deserve such wrath?
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:53
You sir, are a bastard. :( What did I do to deserve such wrath?
Visit NSG?
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:53
Visit NSG?

I knew I felt a sense of foreboding. lol
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 07:55
I knew I felt a sense of foreboding. lol
Does anyone else besides me think that "Abandon All Pretense of Sanity, Ye Who Enter Here" should be the new name for NS General?
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 07:57
Does anyone else besides me think that "Abandon All Pretense of Sanity, Ye Who Enter Here" should be the new name for NS General?

*Raises hand*
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:03
Yep. *nod*

Lunatic goofballs. Do you think I'm a pedo? I'm curious:p
Anglachel and Anguirel
25-09-2006, 08:04
Lunatic goofballs. Do you think I'm a pedo? I'm curious:p
Damn, you are seriously sticking your neck out on this one...
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:06
Damn, you are seriously sticking your neck out on this one...

It's what I do.
Lunatic Goofballs
25-09-2006, 08:06
Lunatic goofballs. Do you think I'm a pedo? I'm curious:p

Of course not. She's a year younger than you.

Now if as you get older, you still only crave fourteen year olds, then we have a problem. :p

I would have said that the first time, but it was far too constructive. And don't change the subject. Death By Snoo-snoo!
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:08
Of course not. She's a year younger than you.

Now if as you get older, you still only crave fourteen year olds, then we have a problem. :p

I would have said that the first time, but it was far too constructive. And don't change the subject. Death By Snoo-snoo!

The femputer is busy... come back later.
Warshrike
25-09-2006, 08:23
I turned 16 in August. My girlfriend turns 14 on thursdy. You are a pedo.

But it's still normal. Screw legalities man, if you like her then w/e. Now, if you grow up to be a pe teacher and like her daughter... Well now THAT would be kinda weird... And stereotypical. Yay for that. Yay.

Meanwhile, Twenty years in the future.
"Sir, we have a lock on that pedo b*astard!!"
"Shoot to kill"
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:32
I turned 16 in August. My girlfriend turns 14 on thursdy. You are a pedo.

But it's still normal. Screw legalities man, if you like her then w/e. Now, if you grow up to be a pe teacher and like her daughter... Well now THAT would be kinda weird... And stereotypical. Yay for that. Yay.

Meanwhile, Twenty years in the future.
"Sir, we have a lock on that pedo b*astard!!"
"Shoot to kill"
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:
:sniper:

One sniper would have sufficed. :P That won't happen. I've never been attracted to anyone this young before, no reason to think it'll happen again. :p Yay:p
Warshrike
25-09-2006, 08:36
One would of easily sufficed. But now you have more holes. Yay.
What you should of picked up on: "Meanwhile, 20 years in the future" Make sense much?? NO!!
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:37
One would of easily sufficed. But now you have more holes. Yay.
What you should of picked up on: "Meanwhile, 20 years in the future" Make sense much?? NO!!

I watch stargate, I'm used to plotholes:p Also, it's late
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 08:44
I'm sixteen, my last two GF's were 14 & 15 (Both whilst I was 16).

I'd say ephebophile, but as a teenager, that is the norm.

Really, I dont see a way you could be considered a pedo.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:46
I'm sixteen, my last two GF's were 14 & 15 (Both whilst I was 16).

I'd say ephebophile, but as a teenager, that is the norm.

Really, I dont see a way you could be considered a pedo.

Big word. What's it mean?
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 08:47
Wikipedia:
Ephebophilia has been defined as a sexual preference in which an adult is primarily or exclusively sexually attracted to postpubescent adolescents

Side-note: The term specifically means attraction, sexual activity or conduct is not required. (Although these can be involved)
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:49
Attracted to young people who are Post-Pubescent.

Ah. Well I suppose at my age that's better then exclusivly longing for an adult right?
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 08:54
Heheh, MILF. (Or FILF, whatever :) )

But yeah, It's sad when society actually makes you ask that question. Of course it's normal to like people within 2 years of your age, everybody look at their parents (Or grandparents) How much of an age gap is there? (For me, parents at 4 years, Grandparents at 8)
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 08:59
Heheh, MILF. (Or FILF, whatever :) )

But yeah, It's sad when society actually makes you ask that question. Of course it's normal to like people within 2 years of your age, everybody look at their parents (Or grandparents) How much of an age gap is there? (For me, parents at 4 years, Grandparents at 8)

Dunno. Dad's in jail on the other side of the country, and mum's working, kinda hard to find out.:p
Snoutslash
25-09-2006, 09:01
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(

What if she's a lesbian?
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 09:01
Nvm, I'm sure you get my point. it's normal. Have fun ;)
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 09:03
What if she's a lesbian?

Then... she'll reject me and we won't have a problem?
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 09:06
Ask if you can watch?

Bad New Zealandium, that's going too far :$
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 09:10
Ask if you can watch?

Bad New Zealandium, that's going too far :$

I think it's a fine idea. :p ;)
Kapedapeck
25-09-2006, 09:12
Not at all.
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 09:15
Not at all.

I think it's a fine idea. :p ;)


I love NSG :)
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 09:15
I love NSG :)
Who doesn't? :p
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 09:19
Fundamentalists!

Seriously, threads like this make them cry at night ;)

Btw, someone remind me to ask Mat to introduce me to that girl who has sex with her dog.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 09:22
Fundamentalists!

Seriously, threads like this make them cry at night ;)

Btw, someone remind me to ask Mat to introduce me to that girl who has sex with her dog.

Might as well named the thread "I want to corrupt a 14 year old christian girl, please give me permission" They probably read it the same:p
New Zealandium
25-09-2006, 09:25
Might as well named the thread "I want to corrupt a 14 year old christian girl, please give me permission" They probably read it the same:p

Hey, she better be a virgin who has a positive influence in the community, that way I will do drugs with her o_O
Rotovia-
25-09-2006, 09:28
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(

Not by a long shot, mate. My fiance's 17 and I'm 19, so maybe I'm biased. Either way, the age gap isn't that big around your age.
Free shepmagans
25-09-2006, 09:28
Considering the other thread that just came up, I'm going to say this is a non-issue, you can all go home.:p
Kilobugya
25-09-2006, 09:31
I'm 15, about to be sixteen (age of consent in my state), and I have a major crush on a girl who will be fourteen for like 4 months after I turn sixteen. I can't get her out of my head. Does this make me a pedo? Would it be wrong to act on these impulses? (By act I mean pursue her romantically and let it evolve as it will, I wouldn't pressure her.) Help NSG!:(

Since there is less than two years of difference between you, that's perfectly normal and you're not a "pedo". I wish you good luck for your relationship with her ;)

Oh, I forgot the usual warning: if you end up doing you know what, remember to take precautions ;)
Dryks Legacy
25-09-2006, 09:39
Considering the other thread that just came up, I'm going to say this is a non-issue, you can all go home.:p

I second that opinion/emoticon :p
Anthil
25-09-2006, 11:12
Of course not, just don't get her pregnant.
Ifreann
25-09-2006, 12:15
Of course not, just don't get her pregnant.

Or at least wait a few years before you do.
Kattia
25-09-2006, 12:28
Couple things here champ. one, if shes 14 shes not prepubscent. Pedophiles by definition are attracted to prepubscent(sp?) children. So no your not a pedo. two, your 16 shes 14 its normal to be attracted to girls that age when your 16. Hell you may find yourself attracted to 13 or 14 year old girls when your 17 or 18. Its not that big of a deal so relax.

How about a 21 attracted to 13? Or a 25 attracted to 17? Or a 15 attracted to 11? I never understood these pedo-no pedo categorisations.:confused: They should make an official and unofficial table (I understand that official views are different from unofficial) or something like that. Or I have a much much better solution: How about forgetting this ridiculous pedo labelling and just leave everyone be!:rolleyes: I never understood these people! They always need to judge everyone else, make incredible laws that just add confusion and make the wonderful miracle called love illegal between certain individuals. Everyone should just mind their own business!:mad:
Ifreann
25-09-2006, 12:32
How about a 21 attracted to 13? Or a 25 attracted to 17? Or a 15 attracted to 11? I never understood these pedo-no pedo categorisations.:confused: They should make an official and unofficial table (I understand that official views are different from unofficial) or something like that. Or I have a much much better solution: How about forgetting this ridiculous pedo labelling and just leave everyone be!:rolleyes: I never understood these people! They always need to judge everyone else, make incredible laws that just add confusion and make the wonderful miracle called love illegal between certain individuals. Everyone should just mind their own business!:mad:
Well they kinda have to make laws about having sex with children, since sex without consent is rape and children can't consent....you see where I'm going with this.
Harlesburg
25-09-2006, 13:21
http://plaine.typepad.com/tqc/images/love_is.JPG
Kilobugya
25-09-2006, 13:23
How about a 21 attracted to 13? Or a 25 attracted to 17? Or a 15 attracted to 11? I never understood these pedo-no pedo categorisations.:confused: They should make an official and unofficial table (I understand that official views are different from unofficial) or something like that. Or I have a much much better solution: How about forgetting this ridiculous pedo labelling and just leave everyone be!:rolleyes: I never understood these people! They always need to judge everyone else, make incredible laws that just add confusion and make the wonderful miracle called love illegal between certain individuals. Everyone should just mind their own business!:mad:

Well, the problem is that kids (and young teens) can't really be fully consentant, first because they don't realize all the consequences and meaning of the sexual act, and because they are very easily "pushed" by older persons, and tend to obey to them. That's why age difference is important, for a 15 years old with a 13 years old for example the problem is weaker than between an adult and a 13 years old, who would have trouble saying no to the adult, even if the adult doesn't use violence, but just because kids and teens are taught to obey and respect adults...

It's not an easy problem, but the law tries to protect children and young teens from being harmed, and that's the most important. A relationship between a 21 and a 13 could be fine, but the chance that it ends up damaging the 13 years old is so high that we can't allow it, IMHO.
Kattia
25-09-2006, 13:56
Well they kinda have to make laws about having sex with children, since sex without consent is rape and children can't consent....you see where I'm going with this.

Why should it be impossible for children to consent? I agree that it may be possible for children to not have enough experience and information to make the right decision but why is that? I think that it's because we don't give them the information and forbid them to get the experience! Parents don't want to talk about relationships and sex with their children (in fear that they may lose them too soon), governments forbid any intimate contact with a child and I don't know what it's like in your country but in my country the topic of sex is brought up too late in the biology classes, at least I think so. Intimate relationships and talking about them is effectively a taboo for children. (Combine that with all the glorification of such things on TV and the web and you get a great way to totally confuse a child's mind!) In my opinion if the child is correctly informed it CAN consent (and in a much better way than a wrongly informed adult)!
Additionally I think that the whole anti-pedophilia madness got too far. Having a relationship with a big age difference is nothing wrong if it's a good relationship where the partners care for each other. I would be much more happy to see love between a 12yo and a 25yo where one helps and cares for the other than a relationship between two 25yo where one tries to make the other's life a hell!
The worst thing is that in the present situation while the second relationship would be perfectly acceptable the first one would not. The first one would probably look like this: The 25yo would be called "pedophile" by other people. He would probably lose his job if the information reached his boss and nobody would help him, support him or even talk to him. He would be labeled "child molester" and very probably jailed for a long time forced to endure the horrible life in prison. The 12yo would be called a "victim" and the people would try to brainwash her into thinking it's true. Everybody would pity her and fake compassion but in reality they wouldn't want to talk to her anymore. She would probably lose all her friends. The "victim" label would follow her everywhere she went. She would constantly think about how other people tell her how evil her partner was and how bad the whole relationship was. All the facts in her head would get distorted and she would eventually lose track of what really happened. The residual feeling of love towards "the predator" would clash with the feeling of "wrongness" giving birth to a rising feeling of guilt. One day she would probably commit suicide unable to endure all of this.
Would do you think about it now?
Kattia
25-09-2006, 14:10
Well, the problem is that kids (and young teens) can't really be fully consentant, first because they don't realize all the consequences and meaning of the sexual act, and because they are very easily "pushed" by older persons, and tend to obey to them. That's why age difference is important, for a 15 years old with a 13 years old for example the problem is weaker than between an adult and a 13 years old, who would have trouble saying no to the adult, even if the adult doesn't use violence, but just because kids and teens are taught to obey and respect adults...

It's not an easy problem, but the law tries to protect children and young teens from being harmed, and that's the most important. A relationship between a 21 and a 13 could be fine, but the chance that it ends up damaging the 13 years old is so high that we can't allow it, IMHO.

The problem is that children are taught to obey adults without questioning. They are then re-taught at the later age to start questioning and say no. What is the purpose of this kind of teaching? It just adds to the confusion!

I think that there should be no law that limits people based on probability! I agree with strict punishment for child rape but I don't like the idea of punishing something that may not be wrong at all! It's like banning cars because there are reckless drivers who cause car accidents! Or banning alcohol because it causes drunk drivers! (And to tell you the truth I would rather see alcohol being banned than "good pedophiles" being arrested)
Ifreann
25-09-2006, 14:20
It's more maturity that children lack, as opposed to information(which is often true too). Consider that little girls often play with dolls. These dolls are often as lifelike as technology allows. What happens when the little girls decides she wants a real doll, a baby? Do you think she would be mature enough to raise her child(assuming she doesn't die in childbirth)?
Kattia
25-09-2006, 14:53
It's more maturity that children lack, as opposed to information(which is often true too). Consider that little girls often play with dolls. These dolls are often as lifelike as technology allows. What happens when the little girls decides she wants a real doll, a baby? Do you think she would be mature enough to raise her child(assuming she doesn't die in childbirth)?

I think that if she realises that it's permanent, that the child is a living being and if she knows what it takes to take care of it (that's all just information) and she's willing and able to do it, then she is as capable (if not more) as any adult. It's more about how differently we treat children and adults than the actual age.
Kilobugya
25-09-2006, 15:09
The problem is that children are taught to obey adults without questioning. They are then re-taught at the later age to start questioning and say no. What is the purpose of this kind of teaching? It just adds to the confusion!

I'm not at all for blind obeying, but children do lack maturity and experience to realize what's bad for them, the "obey adults" is more to protect them than anything else ("don't cross the street when the light is red !", for example).

I think that there should be no law that limits people based on probability! I agree with strict punishment for child rape but I don't like the idea of punishing something that may not be wrong at all!

But where do you draw the line for rape ? If the kid said "yes" because he/she was not wanting to anger the adult, or because he/she didn't understand what it really meant, is that rape ? I understand your point, but in the facts, it's not really doable

It's like banning cars because there are reckless drivers who cause car accidents! Or banning alcohol because it causes drunk drivers! (And to tell you the truth I would rather see alcohol being banned than "good pedophiles" being arrested)

Well, those dangerous things are restricted. You can't drive without a license. You can't drive when you are 14 (and most 14 years old could learn how to drive). You can't drink when you are too toung. You are forbidden to drive once you drinked too much, because the risk of accident is higher. You are not allowed to drive in a car in too bad condition, because the risk is higher. You must drive more slowly when it rains, because the risk is higher. And so on. And for most of those "you can't", it's not perfect, but overall they prevent more harm that they create. I think the same about the "no sex with kids" laws.
Kattia
25-09-2006, 15:49
I'm not at all for blind obeying, but children do lack maturity and experience to realize what's bad for them, the "obey adults" is more to protect them than anything else ("don't cross the street when the light is red !", for example).[QUOTE]

I'm a big fan of the "Don't cross the street when the light is red, BECAUSE..." approach. You should tell the child all the consequences and make it understand your decision.

[QUOTE=Kilobugya;11729157]But where do you draw the line for rape ? If the kid said "yes" because he/she was not wanting to anger the adult, or because he/she didn't understand what it really meant, is that rape ? I understand your point, but in the facts, it's not really doable[QUOTE]

So we should take the easier way of punishing innocent people? I don't think that's acceptable.

[QUOTE=Kilobugya;11729157]Well, those dangerous things are restricted. You can't drive without a license. You can't drive when you are 14 (and most 14 years old could learn how to drive). You can't drink when you are too toung. You are forbidden to drive once you drinked too much, because the risk of accident is higher. You are not allowed to drive in a car in too bad condition, because the risk is higher. You must drive more slowly when it rains, because the risk is higher. And so on. And for most of those "you can't", it's not perfect, but overall they prevent more harm that they create. I think the same about the "no sex with kids" laws.

So why isn't it restriced instead of forbidden? Additionally, by making a law about children not being allowed to drive it's not about illegalising their natural instincts. It isn't interfering with one's privacy!
The anti-pedophilia stance can also mean a great disaster! I'm very interested on what is your opinion about the little story I wrote earlier.
You should also note that I'm not talking about sex only, I'm talking about an intimate relationship as a whole.

P.S.: I'm sorry about the format of my message. I don't know how to multi-quote...
Bratwurstburg
25-09-2006, 16:05
When I was 20, I was very attracted to a 17-year old, but eventually she fell in love with a 14-year old boy.
That definitively pissed me off.
Kilobugya
25-09-2006, 16:08
I'm a big fan of the "Don't cross the street when the light is red, BECAUSE..." approach. You should tell the child all the consequences and make it understand your decision.

I totally agree with that. But sometimes, it's not enough, and either the child doesn't understand, or he understands but still doesn't act according to it. Some authority is required, because children do lack the maturity, experience and foresight to really understand all consequences and think enough before acting. Children should of course be explained things, so they can learn and grow, but it takes time, this time is "childhood", and it should be protected.


But where do you draw the line for rape ? If the kid said "yes" because he/she was not wanting to anger the adult, or because he/she didn't understand what it really meant, is that rape ? I understand your point, but in the facts, it's not really doable

So we should take the easier way of punishing innocent people? I don't think that's acceptable.

Well, I don't see any solution... we have to chose the one does the less harm, and when kids are concerned, the one that does the less harm to the kid.



So why isn't it restriced instead of forbidden?

On this regard, forbidding would be forbidding any sex. The current laws restrict sex (with age of consent and age difference laws), but doesn't forbid everything.

Additionally, by making a law about children not being allowed to drive it's not about illegalising their natural instincts. It isn't interfering with one's privacy!

I wouldn't say it's the natural instinct of a 12-years old to have sex with an adult, in nearly all cases, it comes from the adult asking for it, and child more or less firmly agreeing. But I don't see the problem with illegalising "natural instincts". Rape, in many cases, is "natural instinct". The law forbids natural instancts that hurts someone, especially those who hurts kids.


The anti-pedophilia stance can also mean a great disaster! I'm very interested on what is your opinion about the little story I wrote earlier.
You should also note that I'm not talking about sex only, I'm talking about an intimate relationship as a whole.

You can never know, before, if such an intimate relationship will not harm the kid, psycologically, later on. There are many cases of early teens having "consensual" sex with an adult, and later on deriving a trauma from it. So, in all cases, I would say: "don't have sex, wait for a few years". If your relationship is really strong, it will last even if you wait until the young one is 15 or so. Yes, it may cost a bit to both, but the risk is too high it'll lead to the kid being damaged.

Now, laws are guidelines, and judges are human beings. If I were a judge, and I would to judge a case of a real, genuine love between an adult and a 13-years old, I would only give the adult a symbolic penalty. But the law is here to protect the weak, and in most cases, protected the kids means preventing adults from having sex with them.

P.S.: I'm sorry about the format of my message. I don't know how to multi-quote...

You just forgot the / in the closing QUOTE .
Mac World
25-09-2006, 16:10
No you aren't a pedo. A pedo would be someone who was in his 20s-30s hitting on a 14 year old. Now it might look weird and you may get chastised if she were like 10 or so. Even then, you aren't an adult and hopefully the parents would have enough sense to see that something like that just doesn't look right. <.<
Ifreann
25-09-2006, 16:12
I'm a big fan of the "Don't cross the street when the light is red, BECAUSE..." approach. You should tell the child all the consequences and make it understand your decision.
Making a child understand your decision still means that it is you making the decision.

So we should take the easier way of punishing innocent people? I don't think that's acceptable.
Actually people who have sex with children in most cases aren't innocent, since having sex with children, again in most cases, is illegal. The law may be unjust, but that doesn't make those prosecuted under it innocent.


So why isn't it restriced instead of forbidden? Additionally, by making a law about children not being allowed to drive it's not about illegalising their natural instincts. It isn't interfering with one's privacy!
The anti-pedophilia stance can also mean a great disaster! I'm very interested on what is your opinion about the little story I wrote earlier.
You should also note that I'm not talking about sex only, I'm talking about an intimate relationship as a whole.
In a lot of places it is restricted. Some countries allow sex between under age minors provided they are near the same age.

P.S.: I'm sorry about the format of my message. I don't know how to multi-quote...

You left out the / in the [/quote], i.e. the tag for quotes is blah blah blah blah blah blah
Kilobugya
25-09-2006, 16:22
In a lot of places it is restricted. Some countries allow sex between under age minors provided they are near the same age.

IIRC, the french law is like:

- between two adults (>=18), no problem (as long there is no coercion, of course)

- between an adult (>=18) and >=15 ("age of consent") sex is legal, but the adult should not be the one incitating the other to have sex (ie, if a 15-years ask you if you want to have sex with him/her, it's fine, but the opposite is not)

- between two people >=15, no problem (as long there is no coercion, of course)

- between an adult and a <15, it's always illegal

- between an <15 and a <18, it depends of the age difference

Sounds rather sane for me. The age consent could maybe be lowered to 14, but not below, IMHO.

In all cases, of course, the judge always consider the nature of the relationship and the will of the two people before eventually giving a sentence.
The Alma Mater
25-09-2006, 17:08
No you aren't a pedo. A pedo would be someone who was in his 20s-30s hitting on a 14 year old.

No, that would be an ephebophile as was said already in this topic. Pedophiles like pre-pubescent children. Of course, one can be both.

Since the French rules were posted, I will add the Dutch:

- Sex with someone below the age of 12 is illegal, period.

- Unpaid sex with someone between the ages of 12 and 16 is only legal if the partners are married to eachother (this is an exceptional situation and mostly concerns people from other countries) or if the relationship is "deemed acceptable by society". What is acceptable is purposefully not defined exactly, but in practice the courts tolerate an age difference of 5 years.

- Unpaid sex with someone of age 16 or older is legal without restrictions. In case of pregnancy or special circumstances marriage is also possible. When married, a 16 year old becomes an adult in the eyes of the law.

- Paid sex (iow: prostitution) is legal from the age of 18 and onward. One can also marrry at this age without requirements. 18 year olds are adults.
HotRodia
25-09-2006, 17:15
AFAIK, we still have a moratorium on pedophilia threads, folks. Let these sorts of threads die.

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HotRodia