NationStates Jolt Archive

Yeah, it just happened to me. I get the following text message:

"We never spoke again after that night... I used to enjoy talking to you. :] Sean x"

Now, this guy doesn't even qualify as an ex. I knew him from the local fag scene, and was invited to a party by one of his friends (who I also knew from said scene). I went, I had a little fun with him, then got into a fight with someone else at the party over them drawing on my £280 shirt with permement markers while I was asleep. That's the "night" referenced in the text. He's effectively less than a one night stand since I never actually slept with him.

However, here's my dilemma: I've just begun university, and a friend of his, who I've not seen since the party, is in my lecture group. I'm presuming this info was passed on, and that's why he's texted me. I'm therefore in a bit of a pickle. If I don't reply, I'm going to get steely stares for the rest of my university career from this guy. I really don't want that to happen. If I DO reply, I'm implying I want to have sex with him, since by him saying "I used to enjoy talking to you" when the only subject we really discussed was sex means that's probably his goal. I don't want to sleep with him, and I don't want it to come across as such in the reply text.

So, how should I reply? I've pretty much determined that I shouldn't ignore him.

Reply, but reply with complete and utter jibberish.

Just say "Oh hi, you should come hang out with me and my boyfriend sometime"

Just say "Oh hi, you should come hang out with me and my boyfriend sometime"
People break up for a reason. The guy was probably not worth her time... (her, right?)

or just string him along for several weeks and gradually cut down the amount of texts you send him til you stop altogether. worked for me with a one-night-stand. yes, i am a bastard

People break up for a reason. The guy was probably not worth her time... (her, right?)

We never had anything to "break" up. It was basically a kiss and a blowjob.

We never had anything to "break" up. It was basically a kiss and a blowjob.
So, it didn't go beyond that, you don't have to reply, especially if you know what the outcome is going to be.

People break up for a reason. The guy was probably not worth her time... (her, right?)

He's probably just after sex so this should put him off

He's probably just after sex so this should put him off
......? Well? What should?

He's probably just after sex so this should put him off

Yes, he's almost certainly after just sex, but I'm still wondering if I should reply, so his friend in my lecture group can't query me as to why I ignored him.

Non commitals, man. That's the way to go. You know how that works. You just give vague 'uh huh' responses until dude loses interest.

A platitude response, like, "Oh, hey. What have you been up to?" and bank off there. Ignore more or less suggestive tangents and focus on 'weather related' ones.

Non commitals, man. That's the way to go. You know how that works. You just give vague 'uh huh' responses until dude loses interest.

A platitude response, like, "Oh, hey. What have you been up to?" and bank off there. Ignore more or less suggestive tangents and focus on 'weather related' ones.

Good advice. Thanks.

Non commitals, man. That's the way to go. You know how that works. You just give vague 'uh huh' responses until dude loses interest.

A platitude response, like, "Oh, hey. What have you been up to?" and bank off there. Ignore more or less suggestive tangents and focus on 'weather related' ones.

well that's what i tried, but it took several weeks for the guy to loose interest. i mean, he did in the end, but the fool used up a lot of my credit.

I personally think it's better to piss off the person and more to the person.

well that's what i tried, but it took several weeks for the guy to loose interest. i mean, he did in the end, but the fool used up a lot of my credit.

Some are slow on the uptake. But you can always tell them the credit part. "Hey man, I don't really text that much, it sucks up my minutes." but don't offer an alternative.

Some are slow on the uptake. But you can always tell them the credit part. "Hey man, I don't really text that much, it sucks up my minutes." but don't offer an alternative.

unfortunately, even that is too direct a rebuttal for me, i would feel bad about sending that.

Yes, he's almost certainly after just sex, but I'm still wondering if I should reply, so his friend in my lecture group can't query me as to why I ignored him.Just ignore it. It's none of the guy in your lecture's buisness anyway - and if he wants to awkwardly bring it up, you can just as easily blow him off as waste your minutes getting rid of the other fool.

unfortunately, even that is too direct a rebuttal for me, i would feel bad about sending that.

just dont answer his calls. no need for an uncomfortable confrontation, just dont answer.

as to the OP, if you arent interested in the guy, leave it. his friend in your class most likely doesnt care about it at all. he has no reason to be hostile to you so dont start borrowing trouble.

Act like you don't remember who he is.

About half a year ago my cell-phone rang once and the number that showed up was that of an ex-girlfriend. I had broken up with her in 2002 and was quite surprised - but actually more surprised that I still had her number in the registry than for her to give me a (single) ring.

So I gave her a call and she "just" wanted to know how I was doing. She was coming to town the following weekend and asked whether we could hook up "for a coffee" and to "talk". She even felt flattered that I still had her phone number. Yeah right. I simply hadn't bothered erasing it.

I decided not to meet her, for I had left her for good and for a good reason.

And "warmed up coffee" simply ain't to my liking.

Just tell him you just been tested positive for HIV/AIDs.

Yeah, it just happened to me. I get the following text message:

"We never spoke again after that night... I used to enjoy talking to you. :] Sean x"

Now, this guy doesn't even qualify as an ex. I knew him from the local fag scene, and was invited to a party by one of his friends (who I also knew from said scene). I went, I had a little fun with him, then got into a fight with someone else at the party over them drawing on my £280 shirt with permement markers while I was asleep. That's the "night" referenced in the text. He's effectively less than a one night stand since I never actually slept with him.

Who the hell spends 280 quid on a fucking shirt?
I mean, I've got a couple of Versace, Iceberg and several Armani shirts, but none of them come close to costing that much.

imo, anyone who spends that much on a shirt deserves to be stalked by some weirdo they met at a party.




As for me and out-of-the-blue contacts with the ex, the weirdest one I had was with my ex I was with for 7 years before we split (her shagging 'nother guy while I was visiting my sick mother kinda put the dampners on the whole relationship).
Anyway, we split early January (she had the decency to call me up on New Years eve and tell me it was over and she was moving out - great NY I had that year). After the usual break-up recrimination crap, we stopped seeing/talking to each other.
18 months after we split, and 16 months after I'd last seen her, I'm in another town, 200kms away from my place and I see her walking down the street. I first consider running into a shop to avoid her (I could see she hadn't seen me yet), but the only shops are women's clothes and I decide if she did see me turn around and run off, it would just look pathetic. So I walk up to her and cheerfully say, "Hi, Margaret, how are you!". She stares at me like I'm about to kill her, backs away and whimpers, "h...h...hello?"
I decide I can't be bothered with that shit and just keep walking.

Not the end of the story.

Another year goes by and I get a letter from her that rambles to about 3 pages detailing all my short-comings and included the above incident - but in her reality, I'd yelled and sworn at her on the street. I couldn't believe she was still obsessing about me 2 1/2 years after we'd broken up (broken up, recall, due to her dumping me), and after shaking my head sadly, promptly binned it.

Still not the end of the story.

6 months after that (so now 3 years since the split), it's once again Xmas and I get a parcel. Inside there's nothing but a small piece of Xmas cake, nothing else - no note or anything. I'm thinking wtf here and so check the package for clues. No return address, but I recognise her handwriting for my address (which creeped me a bit, as I'd moved a couple of times so have no idea how she found out my address) and the postmark was from the suburb her parents live in.

I threw the cake away. Then thoroughly washed my hands just to be on the safe side.


Some people just can't move on.

Meh, I would develop an immunity against cold, icy, steely stares. It's a lot more useful in the long term. And the short term too.

Ignore it. Then if you get asked why you ignored it, say "What? What text? What are you talking about?" Everyone puts in a wrong number from time to time, plus you get the bonus of him wondering who the hell got the text :P

txt him back, inviting him to join you at either a young conservative's meeting or a bible study group.

txt him back, inviting him to join you at either a young conservative's meeting or a bible study group.

Or even better, ask him if he's interested in Scientology.

Or even better, ask him if he's interested in Scientology.

Or, you know, you could also tell him "That depends on what you're after. I'm not interested in meeting up if what you have in mind is sex. I'm telling you that so you don't lose your time for nothing".

People are often very much surprised when you actually go out and say the frank, honest and straightforward thruth.

People are often very much surprised when you actually go out and say the frank, honest and straightforward thruth.
But where's the fun in that?

Or, you know, you could also tell him "That depends on what you're after. I'm not interested in meeting up if what you have in mind is sex. I'm telling you that so you don't lose your time for nothing".

People are often very much surprised when you actually go out and say the frank, honest and straightforward thruth.

As was said, you could do that, but it wouldn't be remotely as fun. It's not what I'd seriously suggest doing, but if you're looking for serious discussion NSG isn't the best place much of the time.

:cool: CONTACTed? She practically dragged me into bed ...

I was recently text by ex-girlfriend. She told me Tobey was hit by a car and her friend buried him.

Tobey was her demon pup.

I ignored her, she doesn't call me any more.

She was a complete psycho. So, I felt it was best to just ignore and move on.

an ex contacted me out of the blue, and she sucked my cock even though she had a boyfriend. god bless beer. I was doing the evil laugh for days after that. still am, a little bit.