NationStates Jolt Archive

Well? Do you? Why or why not? Poll coming.

I find poired X chromosones sexy. :fluffle:

Well? Do you? Why or why not? Poll coming.

Not really, no. In a serious relationship I prefer a woman who has had other partners, has satisfied her curiosity and can be certain I am the best man for her.
To draw a parallel: I would not find a woman who has spent her entire life without speaking to any other man attractive either.

I don't care, but virgins my age are fairly rare anyway.

I don't care, but virgins my age are fairly rare anyway.

seeing what happen now day with people have sex around 13/14 you are right

Do I look like a unicorn?

Do I look like a unicorn?

yes, yes you do
:p

Do I look like a unicorn?

That's not funny. Put it away before you poke out someone's eye.

With myself being as messed up as I am, I can't find any woman who isn't a virgin sexy. I mean yes I'll be turned on to hotties, but if it came down to it, I have a large mental complex about "used" things.

Don't judge me!:mad:

No, I find it repulsive. No way would I do anything with a virgin. Ughh...

No, I find it repulsive. No way would I do anything with a virgin. Ughh...

remember that some one did you when you lost the virgin title.


in a sence yes its attractive in away. if i ever decide to get married the guy i marry will mostlikly be a virgin.

Not for a long-term relationship. Possibly for a one night (afternoon?) stand, or a friends-with-benefits situation.

remember that some one did you when you lost the virgin title.


in a sence yes its attractive in away. if i ever decide to get married the guy i marry will mostlikly be a virgin.

There's nothing wrong with virgin guys. There is no real difference really, besides the lack of experience and lower quality of sex. Only girl-virgins are disgusting (in terms of sexual attractiveness).

If you really are into the whole 'chaste' thing, I would recommend marrying a guy who had had sex once or twice, but not too many times. If you marry a *guy* (especially, though girls too) who hasn't ever had sex with anyone but you, he will always wonder... and probably do a lot more than that.

There's nothing wrong with virgin guys. There is no real difference really, besides the lack of experience and lower quality of sex. Only girl-virgins are disgusting (in terms of sexual attractiveness).
so you would rather go with a girl who has bedded every one around her and carries who knows what?
If you really are into the whole 'chaste' thing, I would recommend marrying a guy who had had sex once or twice, but not too many times. If you marry a *guy* (especially, though girls too) who hasn't ever had sex with anyone but you, he will always wonder... and probably do a lot more than that.

maby but who would want to spend the rest of there life having to wonder every time if he was comparing you to some one elce?

maby but who would want to spend the rest of there life having to wonder every time if he was comparing you to some one elce?

Surely if he's electing to spend "the rest of his life" with you, you've passed that test?

Surely if he's electing to spend "the rest of his life" with you, you've passed that test?

cconsiddering i wont have sex befor iam married that "test" is out

I find it attractive because it is like unconqured territory. I like to compare deverginising to Lewis and Clark. Can you imagine the orgasm they emmited when they discovered the new land?

maby but who would want to spend the rest of there life having to wonder every time if he was comparing you to some one elce?

If you are asking youself that then maybe you should see advice from this person.

http://www.xmgimg.com/uploads/df5ad7d182.jpg (http://www.xmgimg.com/)

I find it attractive because it is like unconqured territory. I like to compare deverginising to Lewis and Clark. Can you imagine the orgasm they emmited when they discovered the new land?



If you are asking youself that then maybe you should see advice from this person.

http://www.xmgimg.com/uploads/df5ad7d182.jpg (http://www.xmgimg.com/)

uhhhhh....i dont really think that and i dont ever plain on getting married so its a non issue:) thanks though

Attractive? No I dont find myself attracted to virgins more than women who have had sex before. I have never had sex with a virgin either as it goes. At this point in life the chances of me having sex with a virgin are very very small.
If somehow it happens that my path and a virgin's path come together I would not avoid her because she is a virgin but I would be much more sure of my desire to be with her for an extended time than I would with another woman. I certainly would not choose a virgin expecting to have especially good sex with her very soon

I find poired X chromosones sexy. :fluffle:

Really? That's all it takes? The guy I went out with before I met my boyfriend had two X and one Y chomosomes. :D I think it's called Klindfelters syndrome or some such.

if i ever decide to get married the guy i marry will mostlikly be a virgin.

Well.... that's what he'll tell you, anyway. *coff*

Anyway ... to the question at hand ...

I've been with virgins and I've been with the promiscuous and everywhere in between. "Sexy" and "Attractive" is defined by the merits of the self, not by the actions of the partner. I would not be with an unattractive virgin any more than I would be with an unattractive "slut".

I have never, in my life, been with anyone I didn't find attractive.

Well? Do you? Why or why not? Poll coming.

Over the years I've slept with two virgins. I don't recomend it. There is the lack of technical knowlege, of course. But that is easy enough to deal with. The bad thing is that they tend to get very clingy and fall in love after the first f**k. Even when you tell them before hand that it is not what you are looking for, and they agree to something casual. It's never casual to a first timer no matter what they say. But then my experience has only been with guys. I don't know if it's the same with girls.

it depends really. i mean its good to be with someone who has got some experience but its also nice to be someone's first partner as they will probably remember it for a long time. i personally dont mind. a virgin girl is very sexy yet an experienced girl is also sexy though i wouldn't want one who has slept with loads of people.

Not really, no. I had sex with one virgin. That turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. (Luckily one without consequences apart from the mental torture I still go through and the 400-something dollars wasted, though that's another issue entirely.)

I prefer women to have experience, to know what their doing...because I sure don't. ~_~ That one time was the only sex I'd ever had, I should mention. One experience does not a teacher make.

-snip-

Awesome. Sig-quoted. :D

Awesome. Sig-quoted. :D

In context, it was hilarious. Out of context, it's even more hilarious.

But then, I've been playing Oblivion for 12 straight hours, so maybe my mind isn't fully here at the moment.

Meh, it just means she'll probably be a shit, nervious lay. If anything I'm doing a public service starting her on her road to whoredem.

Well? Do you? Why or why not? Poll coming.

no... not attractive (not un-attractive though)

why would i?

Meh. I can't say I would specifically go for someone because of their "innocence" or lack thereof.

I don't find it unattractive, but to be honest I'm not bothered.

Sometimes its good to go where no man has gone before

Do I look like a unicorn?

Well..you do look horny.

*rimshot*

i am not attracted by virgins, nope. i like women with some experience who know what they want.

i am not attracted by virgins, nope. i like women with some experience who know what they want.

-Iakeo?

MYRTH!!!11oneoneeleventyoneoneone

"Attractive"? Huh? What a weird question. Why would I find it attractive or unattractive? I don't care. It's still the same person. Jeez.


No, I find it repulsive. No way would I do anything with a virgin. Ughh...
There's nothing wrong with virgin guys. There is no real difference really, besides the lack of experience and lower quality of sex. Only girl-virgins are disgusting (in terms of sexual attractiveness).

Have you always posted like this? I can't remember noticing your posts to be that offensive before, but recently you make me want to stab my eyes with a very dull spork. :rolleyes:
I'll just hope my sarcasm detector is broken.

Depends... for a short-term relationship or a fling, I would have no problems with virgins. For anything long-term, no. I'd prefer someone with a bit or a clue of what he/she's doing.

Personally, I'd rather hear "YES! YES!"

rather than,

"ow...ow...ow..ow"

Depends... for a short-term relationship or a fling, I would have no problems with virgins. For anything long-term, no. I'd prefer someone with a bit or a clue of what he/she's doing.
But, um, I mean, if it's long-term, they would get a clue of what they're doing. It's sex, not astrophysics. People learn quickly.

not that I am looking for anyone, but yeah.

A guy who is stable enough to keep it in his pants until he finds someone worthy is attractive.

im a 49 year old straight woman

for me to find virginity attractive would be creepy.

A guy who is stable enough to keep it in his pants until he finds someone worthy is attractive.

Agreed, but does that necessarily equate virginity ? Or do you believe that you should be the only worthy one ?

But, um, I mean, if it's long-term, they would get a clue of what they're doing. It's sex, not astrophysics. People learn quickly.

Yes, but it's not just sex, is it? I can remember what I was like as a virgin, and in my first "relationship", and to be honest, I wouldn't want to put up with something like that long-term...

I do not find virginity attractive, at all.
Male here.
I find it to be a sure way to ensure I will not attempt to have sex with you.
Well I am married nowso there is my vows to not have sex with anyone else too.

But even as a teen male I found virgin hunters to be the weak minded twits who couldnt handle a female who knew how to handle herself.

I mean if you want virgins it sounds to me like you are worried you wont measure up in the field--be by biologically or skill wise...so you need to go after the girls who dont know you suck in bed.

I liked sluts, stone cold throw down sluts.
I wanted women who would make me say "wow what the hell was that!"

I wanted to be intimidated, plus experience is sexy, when a woman knows what she is doing it is far more pleasurable for her and you.

Finally, I have never met a women who ever had anything nice to say about their first lover.

If I am second or thrid or forth or whatever ...I am at worst just antoher guy who will most likely not be remembered but if she is a virgin I will never be forgotten...feck that.

not that I am looking for anyone, but yeah.

A guy who is stable enough to keep it in his pants until he finds someone worthy is attractive.

So a 37 year old virgin is attractive? I dont think so.

maby but who would want to spend the rest of there life having to wonder every time if he was comparing you to some one elce?
Who the hell wonders that?

Nah. A girl that knows what she's doing is preferable to a girl that doesn't.

Meh... Doesn't make a lick of difference to me, really. Neither more nor less.

Agreed, but does that necessarily equate virginity ? Or do you believe that you should be the only worthy one ?
the idea that I was worthy for my husband is horribly romantic. ;)
So a 37 year old virgin is attractive? I dont think so.
if that's how long it takes then yes, in fact a 37 year old virgin is much more attractive than say a 19 year old one, because he has been celibate longer and it denotes even more purpose and self control.
Who the hell wonders that?
insecure women, or normal women when they are going through PMS. You would be surprised how many women I heard that from when I was doing premaritial counseling.

Yes, but it's not just sex, is it? I can remember what I was like as a virgin, and in my first "relationship", and to be honest, I wouldn't want to put up with something like that long-term...
Oh, okay. I see what you mean now. Bascially someone who is unexperienced in relationships. Well, I think that only really becomes a problem (and not necessarily so, I guess) once you're past, say, your mid-twenties and if one of you is significantly more experienced in relationships than the other.

Who the hell wonders that?

I personally do not wonder, but know. I came out favourably - which is exactly what I want: a woman who has actually chosen me based on the whole package. And in my eyes, sex is a part of said package.

insecure women, or normal women when they are going through PMS. You would be surprised how many women I heard that from when I was doing premaritial counseling.
I've never thought that I was getting compared in a negative way. I've had men tell me I do the best at some things, and I usually assume that I'm the best at most things based on reactions. Although some things have to be done differently for every guy, some things are fairly universal.

the idea that I was worthy for my husband is horribly romantic. ;)

But would it be any less romantic if you had been the fourth and he still decided that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with ?
To me, that would be more special... but I am apparantly weird.

(This is assuming your husband could have had much more than 3 partners before you, but was selective.)

But would it be any less romantic if you had been the fourth and he still decided that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with ?
To me, that would be more special... but I am apparantly weird.

(This is assuming your husband could have had much more than 3 partners before you, but was selective.)

To be honest, to have someone say "I've had my fair share, but you're the best in every single aspect" is a lot more romantic in my eyes that someone saying "I really don't know, but I think you're the one I'm going to try cause I'm sick of waiting"..

Then again, I'm not known for being a very romantic person on the whole ;)

To be honest, to have someone say "I've had my fair share, but you're the best in every single aspect" is a lot more romantic in my eyes that someone saying "I really don't know, but I think you're the one I'm going to try cause I'm sick of waiting"..

Then again, I'm not known for being a very romantic person on the whole ;)
Yeah, it's much better to wow an experienced person than impress a virgin. Of course a virgin will be impressed with any sex act, they've never done it before.

Well, I've never been with a virgin so I'd like to do it for the novelty value. My other partners haven't been very satisfying either, so I doubt it would make much difference.

Meh... Doesn't make a lick of difference to me, really. Neither more nor less.

If you are a virgin yourself then it might be prefrable to find another virgin so you don't feel embarassed at your inexperience.

If you are a virgin yourself then it might be prefrable to find another virgin so you don't feel embarassed at your inexperience.

Oh, I wouldn't say that. Just make sure that your partner knows you're still a virgin, so he/she knows to be careful...

the idea that I was worthy for my husband is horribly romantic. ;)

if that's how long it takes then yes, in fact a 37 year old virgin is much more attractive than say a 19 year old one, because he has been celibate longer and it denotes even more purpose and self control.



Well..ok if you say so.

I still dont think virginity in females is attractive except to insecure men who are predatory in their sexual nature.

I've never thought that I was getting compared in a negative way. I've had men tell me I do the best at some things, and I usually assume that I'm the best at most things based on reactions. Although some things have to be done differently for every guy, some things are fairly universal.

SEE!!! A virgin could not make this statement---since this is about sex and not romance we see why one is hot and one is not.

Oh, I wouldn't say that. Just make sure that your partner knows you're still a virgin, so he/she knows to be careful...

It's a comfort thing. I can see how it would work for some people, given the option.

I find virgins to be incredibly attractive for many reasons. Its nice to know your the only person who has done those things with them, you don't have to worry about STDs, its not like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, plus they will always remember you.

But would it be any less romantic if you had been the fourth and he still decided that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with ?
To me, that would be more special... but I am apparantly weird.

(This is assuming your husband could have had much more than 3 partners before you, but was selective.)

To be honest, to have someone say "I've had my fair share, but you're the best in every single aspect" is a lot more romantic in my eyes that someone saying "I really don't know, but I think you're the one I'm going to try cause I'm sick of waiting"..

Then again, I'm not known for being a very romantic person on the whole ;)
yeah, but to me sex isn't a game to be won, it's not something you practice in hopes to get good, it's more serious than that.
Yeah, it's much better to wow an experienced person than impress a virgin. Of course a virgin will be impressed with any sex act, they've never done it before.
if you have sex to impress people I guess.

SEE!!! A virgin could not make this statement---since this is about sex and not romance we see why one is hot and one is not.
sex and romance go together for me, so I guess I can't really seperate them.

yeah, but to me sex isn't a game to be won, it's not something you practice in hopes to get good, it's more serious than that.


Then why would it be romantic if you were "worthy" of your husband?

It doesn't really matter as long as I enjoy myself. I find the person attractive (or not), not their sexual experience. Although granted, I'd rather have sex with a virgin than a complete whore.

Then why would it be romantic if you were "worthy" of your husband?

why would it be romantic if he saved himself for me? because it means that I am important to him.

I think alot of people are getting sex and relationships mixed up. one can be a great lay but suck at having a relationship.

Not really, no. In a serious relationship I prefer a woman who has had other partners, has satisfied her curiosity and can be certain I am the best man for her.
To draw a parallel: I would not find a woman who has spent her entire life without speaking to any other man attractive either.so, inother words, a woman whos slept with 50 men, is now bored with sex and may think "well, he'll do as a husband" is a woman you find attractive.

Surely if he's electing to spend "the rest of his
life" with you, you've passed that test?If I find someone whom I would spend the rest of my life with, it won't be because of the sex. It will be because I am in love with that person and she is in love with me. sex is the side dish. Not the entree.

Over the years I've slept with two virgins. I don't recomend it. There is the lack of technical knowlege, of course. But that is easy enough to deal with. The bad thing is that they tend to get very clingy and fall in love after the first f**k. Even when you tell them before hand that it is not what you are looking for, and they agree to something casual. It's never casual to a first timer no matter what they say. But then my experience has only been with guys. I don't know if it's the same with girls.I would expect it to be the same with girls. after all, the first time is a special time.

Not really, no. I had sex with one virgin. That turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. (Luckily one without consequences apart from the mental torture I still go through and the 400-something dollars wasted, though that's another issue entirely.)

I prefer women to have experience, to know what their doing...because I sure don't. ~_~ That one time was the only sex I'd ever had, I should mention. One experience does not a teacher make.true, but one experince is all it takes to remove the title of "Virgin" and are you sure she isn't going though the same torture you are?

Depends... for a short-term relationship or a fling, I would have no problems with virgins. For anything long-term, no. I'd prefer someone with a bit or a clue of what he/she's doing.so a person who's been in 30 'flings' would be better at a relationship? what is it about a One-Night stand that makes a person (man or woman) better at a long term relationship?

Personally, I'd rather hear "YES! YES!"

rather than,

"ow...ow...ow..ow"if all you're hearing is Ow... Ow... Ow... then I would say, check to make sure you're plugged into the right 'socket'
oh, and as my sex ed teacher repeatedly said... "Forplay is fun, and when you have alot of fun before the main event, it makes the main event even better." ;)

then again, wouldn't the occasional ow also indicate that you are also... ahem... "larger than expected" while a string of 'Yes's could just be her not hurting your feelings?

im a 49 year old straight woman

for me to find virginity attractive would be creepy.I'm a 36 year old Straight Male Virgin. why would it be creepy?

I do not find virginity attractive, at all.
Male here.
I find it to be a sure way to ensure I will not attempt to have sex with you.
Well I am married nowso there is my vows to not have sex with anyone else too.

But even as a teen male I found virgin hunters to be the weak minded twits who couldnt handle a female who knew how to handle herself.ah, but if you mean virgin Hunters as those who only want to pop cherries, and not get into a relationship, then you are correct. but that's not the virgin's fault, it's the mentallity of those 'hunters'

that's like you saying you don't like deer because people go out into the woods to shoot them to put their heads on their walls.

I mean if you want virgins it sounds to me like you are worried you wont measure up in the field--be by biologically or skill wise...so you need to go after the girls who dont know you suck in bed.perhaps I would like a virgin because I want a woman who can control her urges and one whom I would know is faithful to me and still not "sleeping around" even after we're married. the same would be true for my wife. I would rather she trusts me, knowing I can control myself in any situation and not have to worry about "meeting an old fling" or chasing someone who sh's imagining would be pretter or sexeier that she.

I liked sluts, stone cold throw down sluts. at least you're honest. now how many men does it take to make this woman a slut?
I can just imagine the first date... "so how many men have you been with... 10... oh... sorry, not interested..."
I wanted women who would make me say "wow what the hell was that!"err... you can still get that with a virgin. infact, I would think the chances of you getting that response would be higher with a virgin.

I wanted to be intimidated, plus experience is sexy, when a woman knows what she is doing it is far more pleasurable for her and you.if you say so. I really wouldn't know.

Finally, I have never met a women who ever had anything nice to say about their first lover.wait till you get into a real fight. oh and sometimes, that's called 'tact'. and remember, if you did sleep around also. that means that all your past lovers either forgot about you or think you stank.

If I am second or thrid or forth or whatever ...I am at worst just another guy who will most likely not be remembered but if she is a virgin I will never be forgotten...feck that.why am I reminded of Interstate 60...
"Ah, but if I don't do it with you... I won't be number 2 thousand and whatever, I will be number 1, the one who you won't know about, the one that you will dream about every night. So yes, I would be the perfect Fuck, the one you never had!"

Who the hell wonders that?you'll be surprised.

Yes, but it's not just sex, is it? I can remember what I was like as a virgin, and in my first "relationship", and to be honest, I wouldn't want to put up with something like that long-term... your first relationship or your first lay? sex and relationships are two different things and both require different mind-sets to make it work.

But would it be any less romantic if you had been the fourth and he still decided that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with ?
To me, that would be more special... but I am apparantly weird.

(This is assuming your husband could have had much more than 3 partners before you, but was selective.)actually, that's called personal preference. if Smunkee wants somone who is, or in her case, was a virgin, then that is her choice. if you wanted someone who slept with each member of your town's sport franchise before meeting you... that's your preference.

To be honest, to have someone say "I've had my fair share, but you're the best in every single aspect" is a lot more romantic in my eyes that someone saying "I really don't know, but I think you're the one I'm going to try cause I'm sick of waiting"..

Then again, I'm not known for being a very romantic person on the whole ;)actually, the line would probably be "you're the best" from one who's been around.

and "wow that was awsome" from someone who hasn't.

Yeah, it's much better to wow an experienced person than impress a virgin. Of course a virgin will be impressed with any sex act, they've never done it before.not to mention, a virgin would probably be more inclined to try new things and to do things that would please the partner... while those that have tasted their flavor might not care about their partner as much.

Well, I've never been with a virgin so I'd like to do it for the novelty value. My other partners haven't been very satisfying either, so I doubt it would make much difference.so proof that experience isn't always everything.

If you are a virgin yourself then it might be prefrable to find another virgin so you don't feel embarassed at your inexperience.I am not embarrassed by my inexperience, and I will never be embarrassed by my inexperience.

Then why would it be romantic if you were "worthy" of your husband?Virginity, to some apparently, is a special thing. you are actually giving something that can only be given once. think about it. you can give your heart to many people, you can give your body to several partners (yes, you can even make it at the same time. ;) ) you can even give your life to alot of people. but giving someone your first, giving someone a blank sheet that is untouched or unmarred... that's something that you cannot give to another.




yep... here we go... the public service annoucement that all women should be prostitutes and whores and all men gigolos and sexist pigs! ;)

Meh, it just means she'll probably be a shit, nervious lay. If anything I'm doing a public service starting her on her road to whoredem.

Nah. A girl that knows what she's doing is preferable to a girl that doesn't.




now, to answer the OP's question... it doesn't matter to me.

so a person who's been in 30 'flings' would be better at a relationship? what is it about a One-Night stand that makes a person (man or woman) better at a long term relationship?

Who said anything about flings or one-night-stands? A person who only had those is essentially the same as a vrigin, except for the physical aspect.


your first relationship or your first lay? sex and relationships are two different things and both require different mind-sets to make it work.

Both, actually. They happened to be the same.



not to mention, a virgin would probably be more inclined to try new things and to do things that would please the partner... while those that have tasted their flavor might not care about their partner as much.

Trust me... not true. ;)


Virginity, to some apparently, is a special thing. you are actually giving something that can only be given once. think about it. you can give your heart to many people, you can give your body to several partners (yes, you can even make it at the same time. ;) ) you can even give your life to alot of people. but giving someone your first, giving someone a blank sheet that is untouched or unmarred... that's something that you cannot give to another.



Personally, I'm a bit annoyed by the fuss that's made about it. It was one of the reasons why I was scared for years to try it (one of the reasons, mind, not the only one), and as I said before, I do seriously regret the fact that I lost my virginity so very late.
Why would you regard sex as being the one and only ever-so-special thing in a relationship? To me, glad as I was to finally have dared having sex, there were things in that relationship that were worth far more to the both of us back then than the fact that I had been a virgin.
What do you think is essentially worth more? Having rather bad sex, but with a bit of pain and bleeding - woohoo!, or sharing your innermost thoughts, feelings, all your secrets with the other? Giving this person all your heart, all your previous life, all your experiences and your complete and utter trust?

Personally, I'm a bit annoyed by the fuss that's made about it. It was one of the reasons why I was scared for years to try it (one of the reasons, mind, not the only one), and as I said before, I do seriously regret the fact that I lost my virginity so very late.
Why would you regard sex as being the one and only ever-so-special thing in a relationship? To me, glad as I was to finally have dared having sex, there were things in that relationship that were worth far more to the both of us back then than the fact that I had been a virgin.
What do you think is essentially worth more? Having rather bad sex, but with a bit of pain and bleeding - woohoo!, or sharing your innermost thoughts, feelings, all your secrets with the other? Giving this person all your heart, all your previous life, all your experiences and your complete and utter trust?
you seem to be making a great deal of a relationship about sex, earlier you said that you wouldn't have a relationship with a virgin because they would be inexperienced, tothrow out an entire possibility of a relationship based on what they may or may not be able to do to please you in bed seems like you put a lot of weight on sex in your relationships.

Sex is all that people care about now, and that disgusts me. Whatever happend to moral value? public decency? right and wrong? Now a days its all reversed, wrong is right, people spit on morals, and decency is a thing of the past. It makes me sick!! Then you have the people who have sex, do drugs, smoke and drink, who make sure that you know all about it as if it makes them better than you. Virginity is a sacred thig, something to be cherished and held on to until marriage.

you seem to be making a great deal of a relationship about sex, earlier you said that you wouldn't have a relationship with a virgin because they would be inexperienced, tothrow out an entire possibility of a relationship based on what they may or may not be able to do to please you in bed seems like you put a lot of weight on sex in your relationships.

Fair enough, I shouldn't have made that statement quite so absolutely. But to be honest, it would be a bit of a concern for me. I regard sex as something normal and healthy, and I would worry about someone who - for whatever reason - denies him- or herself that.

Sex is all that people care about now, and that disgusts me. Whatever happend to moral value? public decency? right and wrong? Now a days its all reversed, wrong is right, people spit on morals, and decency is a thing of the past. It makes me sick!! Then you have the people who have sex, do drugs, smoke and drink, who make sure that you know all about it as if it makes them better than you. Virginity is a sacred thig, something to be cherished and held on to until marriage.

It's not. :p

Fair enough, I shouldn't have made that statement quite so absolutely. But to be honest, it would be a bit of a concern for me. I regard sex as something normal and healthy, and I would worry about someone who - for whatever reason - denies him- or herself that.

it's a preference thing like JuNii said, I think sex is normal and healthy, and sacred (yeah, I can see you :rolleyes:, it's okay, I understand) and I would worry about someone who would go out and have sex with random people (not that every non-virgin does that) because I would wonder what real satisfaction they recieved....

but since I am married it's not really any of my concern anymore anyway. ;)

but since I am married it's not really any of my concern anymore anyway. ;)
just cause your married doesnt mean you cant have a nice female friend on the side or something.

Who said anything about flings or one-night-stands? A person who only had those is essentially the same as a vrigin, except for the physical aspect.how else can one gain experience without the relationship aspect? look at the posts and you'll see that alot won't consider a woman unless she's a slut or whore. even you said you would only consider a virgin for a fling or a one-night-stand.

Both, actually. They happened to be the same.ahh.. thanks for the clarification.

Trust me... not true. ;) that depends. after all, it's not just on one person but two.

Personally, I'm a bit annoyed by the fuss that's made about it. It was one of the reasons why I was scared for years to try it (one of the reasons, mind, not the only one), and as I said before, I do seriously regret the fact that I lost my virginity so very late.that is your personal view of Virginity. it may be different because you are a woman and I am a man. who knows...
Why would you regard sex as being the one and only ever-so-special thing in a relationship? To me, glad as I was to finally have dared having sex, there were things in that relationship that were worth far more to the both of us back then than the fact that I had been a virgin. as I said, sex and relationships are not the same thing. you just said you had more in your relationship to keep it going. to me, I view my virginity as the one thing I can and will give to that one special person in my life. what she does with that gift is totally and completely up to her. she can accept the gift in the spirit that it was given, or she can just push it way and "show me the ropes" so to speak.

What do you think is essentially worth more? Having rather bad sex, but with a bit of pain and bleeding - woohoo!, or sharing your innermost thoughts, feelings, all your secrets with the other? Giving this person all your heart, all your previous life, all your experiences and your complete and utter trust?
they are all mutually exsclusive. I can share my feelings, thoughts and secrets, my dreams and hopes without having sex. I can offer my heart, soul and being without removing any article of clothing. I can gain and offer trust without knowing how she was in the sack. my past experiences will be there for her to draw upon as I hope I can draw upon hers. and again, sex does not need to be in the picture. if you need sex to create the relationship, then again people are confusing sex and relationships.

infact, I believe that creating the relationship first would make the first time even better.

just cause your married doesnt mean you cant have a nice female friend on the side or something.

Smunkee's a she... and...





thanks to that image... I'm off for a cold shower... :D

Smunkee's a she... and...


Oh I know, I figure that way her husband wouldn't object that much


thanks to that image... I'm off for a cold shower... :D

Your welcome:D

so, inother words, a woman whos slept with 50 men, is now bored with sex and may think "well, he'll do as a husband" is a woman you find attractive.

Not necessarily. I just prefer a woman that has had several meaningful relationships and based on those meaningful relationships decides that the one with me is worth making permanent. I personally have my doubts at the meaningfulness of 50 different lays - but who knows.

Note that this is about relationships and even marriage - a commitment I take pretty serious. I in fact consider people that only have sex after marriage to be an insult. It is a BIG commitment. Not to be taken so lightly as people that "save themselves for marriage" do. But that is just my opinion.

Virginity is visible? Well, I suppose on females in a certain position it would be, but generally speaking, the poll question makes no sense.

Anyway, like a few of the others here, I think of virginity more as a sign of self-control, and that is something I do find attractive. Less likely to cheat on me if she knows how to control her sex drive.

While I get the perv vote here that says that sex shouldn't be so important and that they'd rather someone who'd been around the block (and around and around and around), that's just not how I feel.

Probably because I want to find one partner, and stick with that partner for the rest of my life, rather than try to get lay after lay from anyone attractive who'll put out. I'm a virgin myself, and I'd rather not have sex until I find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, and said life partner should probably feel the same about it.

Probably because I want to find one partner, and stick with that partner for the rest of my life

What you probably do not realise is that many people who prefer a nonvirgin feel pretty much the same. They just disagree with the notion that the sex aspect is unimportant for making that decision.

What you probably do not realise is that many people who prefer a nonvirgin feel pretty much the same. They just disagree with the notion that the sex aspect is unimportant for making that decision.

No, I get that, and honestly, I wish them the best of luck with that. I just feel differently.

Frankly, I don't care. However, there is something attractive about someone who isn't "Used".

Frankly, I don't care. However, there is something attractive about someone who isn't "Used".

Provided you perceive your partner as an item instead of a person.

how else can one gain experience without the relationship aspect? look at the posts and you'll see that alot won't consider a woman unless she's a slut or whore. even you said you would only consider a virgin for a fling or a one-night-stand.

How one can gain experience with sex without one night stands and flings? It's called relationships... ;)


that depends. after all, it's not just on one person but two.

True... but i was better able (and willing) to tune into the feelngs and needs of my partner once I had lost my virginity. And that's also when I got more adventurous and more willing to experiment.



they are all mutually exsclusive. I can share my feelings, thoughts and secrets, my dreams and hopes without having sex. I can offer my heart, soul and being without removing any article of clothing. I can gain and offer trust without knowing how she was in the sack. my past experiences will be there for her to draw upon as I hope I can draw upon hers. and again, sex does not need to be in the picture. if you need sex to create the relationship, then again people are confusing sex and relationships.

infact, I believe that creating the relationship first would make the first time even better.

I would never advise anyone to have their first time outside of a relationship. It would be pointless, unsatisfying and could be a rather disturbing experience, too.
Why do you make this large disctinction between yourself as a physical and sexual being and as having a heart and mind. And why you would regard the physical aspect much higher than the emotional and mental aspects?

To be quiet frank, I don't want to marry a woman who has had sex before. When she puts on that White Gown, I want to know that she truly is pure. I am saving my heart for whomever I marry, and I hope that she does the same for me.

And yes, before you ask, I AM a Jesus Freak.

yep... here we go... the public service annoucement that all women should be prostitutes and whores and all men gigolos and sexist pigs! ;) I'm not certain why you put my response under this. Anyway, the reason that I responded the way that I did is because in my experience, the reason that someone is a virgin is not because they want to save themselves for that special someone; if this were the case, it's fine. In my experience, though, someone is a virgin because they can't find someone who will have sex with them, for whatever reason (too scared?), and such a person would not be a good person to base a relationship on, as the reason for the virginity wasn't romantic in intent.

I'm not certain why you put my response under this. Anyway, the reason that I responded the way that I did is because in my experience, the reason that someone is a virgin is not because they want to save themselves for that special someone; if this were the case, it's fine. In my experience, though, someone is a virgin because they can't find someone who will have sex with them, for whatever reason (too scared?), and such a person would not be a good person to base a relationship on, as the reason for the virginity wasn't romantic in intent.

I think everyone who suggested virginity as an attractive trait was predicating it on the viewpoint that the virgin in question was so by choice.

Well? Do you? Why or why not? Poll coming.

Only if there are 72 of them and I can have them all...Oh wait...:D

I think everyone who suggested virginity as an attractive trait was predicating it on the viewpoint that the virgin in question was so by choice.I suppose; I don't encounter people who choose to remain virgins often (if ever), so I don't typically think of them, but I suppose it's fair if JuNii was thinking of that type of person that he might have that reaction to my comment.

I am a virgin male and I really cannot imagine my first time with a non-virgin. I think I wouldn't even be able to continue if I knew she had someone else before me even if I loved her the most :( I find it almost as bad as cheating (though I don't know why... I just feel that way... and I feel that way strongly indeed) It may seem like selfishness but I offer the exact same thing in return. But I'm slowly losing hope. Maybe I'll never find my perfect lass therefore a day may come when I'll be forced to reconsider... And I don't like the idea at all.

I'm not certain why you put my response under this. Anyway, the reason that I responded the way that I did is because in my experience, the reason that someone is a virgin is not because they want to save themselves for that special someone; if this were the case, it's fine. In my experience, though, someone is a virgin because they can't find someone who will have sex with them, for whatever reason (too scared?), and such a person would not be a good person to base a relationship on, as the reason for the virginity wasn't romantic in intent.
sorry, I hit the quote button on your post by mistake, It's been corrected.

sorry, I hit the quote button on your post by mistake, It's been corrected.Oh, well thank you. :)

How one can gain experience with sex without one night stands and flings? It's called relationships... ;) well, it does depend on the type of relationship... however, isn't the definition of a ONE-NIGHT stand mean there is no SECOND NIGHT? :p



True... but i was better able (and willing) to tune into the feelngs and needs of my partner once I had lost my virginity. And that's also when I got more adventurous and more willing to experiment.yep, and isn't it more fun to be adventurous and experiment with someone you can trust? someone you "bonded" with? Some people may not have that Rapport that you have. and that may end up with hurt feelings... or worse.

I would never advise anyone to have their first time outside of a relationship. It would be pointless, unsatisfying and could be a rather disturbing experience, too.never said you would. Apologies if it seemed that I did.

Why do you make this large disctinction between yourself as a physical and sexual being and as having a heart and mind. And why you would regard the physical aspect much higher than the emotional and mental aspects?I don't I hold them all with equal reguards, but there are some that hold the physical above the mental and emotional. For me, I would like to know that I am compatable with someone on an emotional and mental level before we get into the physical. after all, if you're going to be spending time with a person, it won't only be in bed. ;)

and as I said, my Virginity is something that I want to give to that special someone. one of my gifts to that person. it's up to that person on how they will recieve that gift.

well, it does depend on the type of relationship... however, isn't the definition of a ONE-NIGHT stand mean there is no SECOND NIGHT? :p
.

Dont expect definitions and contracts and what have you to have much effect or authority once youve entered into that magical world of mating. For best results I can advocate placing any expectations somewher near your underwear. It is not at all uncommon for one night stands to turn into one night at a time stands or even more confusing interactions.

well, it does depend on the type of relationship... however, isn't the definition of a ONE-NIGHT stand mean there is no SECOND NIGHT? :p


It does... that's why I never really saw the point in them ;)


yep, and isn't it more fun to be adventurous and experiment with someone you can trust? someone you "bonded" with? Some people may not have that Rapport that you have. and that may end up with hurt feelings... or worse.

Do you assume that I lost mine in a fling? I thought pretty much along the same lines as you do, too. Turns out, waiting for that special someone, and spending months getting to know that person, building up trust and emotional connections don't guarantee that you won't get hurt.


I don't I hold them all with equal reguards, but there are some that hold the physical above the mental and emotional. For me, I would like to know that I am compatable with someone on an emotional and mental level before we get into the physical. after all, if you're going to be spending time with a person, it won't only be in bed. ;)

There's no way of arguing with that, even if I wanted to ;)

and as I said, my Virginity is something that I want to give to that special someone. one of my gifts to that person. it's up to that person on how they will recieve that gift.[/QUOTE]

Do you assume that I lost mine in a fling? I thought pretty much along the same lines as you do, too. Turns out, waiting for that special someone, and spending months getting to know that person, building up trust and emotional connections don't guarantee that you won't get hurt. Nope, I didn't assume anything, it sounded like you had some sort of relationship with your partner. and I've also never said it was a guarentee. ;) just something I would like to do.



There's no way of arguing with that, even if I wanted to ;) who's arguing... It's all personal preference. ;)

of course, if the woman I was dating... say... kicks my feet out from under me and beats me to the floor... well then, that's different... :p

Dont expect definitions and contracts and what have you to have much effect or authority once youve entered into that magical world of mating. For best results I can advocate placing any expectations somewher near your underwear. It is not at all uncommon for one night stands to turn into one night at a time stands or even more confusing interactions.usually, if there is a second night with someone, then it's not a one-night-stand.

and wasn't it a rule of thumb that a third time out means you're offically dating? :p

Good lord, NO! Having to teach the other person how to do things properly, work around the person's inhibitions, and all that? Too much trouble....