NationStates Jolt Archive

Tonight in my practicum class she said we'll be sharing how things are going and how we're feeling in our practicum, and I did great until it was my turn to talk, and I admitted that I don't feel confident and I am worried that I'm not ready. I said that have always needed time to feel comfortable in a situation before I can dive in, and my practicum supervisor said that I've had that time last Friday to just sit back and watch and now I'll have to dive in. Now I am walking around with a feeling of doom cause maybe she thinks I'm too immature and I'll be marked as not ready to move on from practicum. I know it's irrational, but it feels awful.

Then again, I walk around with a feeling of doom most of the time...sometimes I don't even know what the doom is FOR. I say, "Hm, there's that doom again...what could it be about? Did I do something wrong recently and not know it? What train is coming towards me that I can't see?" and I'll get really worked up looking for a reason to feel awful.

Do I need meds?

You dont need meds. You need a swift kick in the ass and relise you have the opportunity to even go to school. Not realizing that many others are less fortunate than you.

Unless someone close has died or anything else traumatic should be depressed on anxiety ridden.

You dont need meds. You need a swift kick in the ass and relise you have the opportunity to even go to school. Not realizing that many others are less fortunate than you.

Unless someone close has died or anything else traumatic should be depressed on anxiety ridden.

Your last statement doesn't make sense. Did I miss something?

Do I need meds?Cookies.

I cured my fear of public speaking during an MUN conference at my school. I couldn't reach the plate with the cookies on it from where I was sitting, so I had to pass ammendments and speak on them in order to gain access to them. Crazy, perhaps, but it worked.

doh. That what you get when you multitask (see multitasking thread).

Unless someone close has died or anything else traumatic you shoulden't be depressed or anxiety ridden.

Cookies.

I cured my fear of public speaking during an MUN conference at my school. I couldn't reach the plate with the cookies on it from where I was sitting, so I had to pass ammendments and speak on them in order to gain access to them. Crazy, perhaps, but it worked.

Cute. ;) I gained access to brownies that were sitting next to the professor who was speaking to a lecture hall by...walking up and grabbing some. The guy next to me couldn't believe it, he said he never would have been able to do that.

doh. That what you get when you multitask (see multitasking thread).

Unless someone close has died or anything else traumatic you shoulden't be depressed or anxiety ridden.

Oh, see, that wasn't because I was multitasking...I think it was because you left out a few words.

And at any rate, my point was that I know it's irrational to be anxiety-ridden. I really wasn't looking for "tough love" from a n00b, but I appreciate it if that was your intent.

If your intent was to make me feel even more shitty than I already do...you have succeeded admirably!

Tonight in my practicum class she said we'll be sharing how things are going and how we're feeling in our practicum, and I did great until it was my turn to talk, and I admitted that I don't feel confident and I am worried that I'm not ready. I said that have always needed time to feel comfortable in a situation before I can dive in, and my practicum supervisor said that I've had that time last Friday to just sit back and watch and now I'll have to dive in. Now I am walking around with a feeling of doom cause maybe she thinks I'm too immature and I'll be marked as not ready to move on from practicum. I know it's irrational, but it feels awful.

Then again, I walk around with a feeling of doom most of the time...sometimes I don't even know what the doom is FOR. I say, "Hm, there's that doom again...what could it be about? Did I do something wrong recently and not know it? What train is coming towards me that I can't see?" and I'll get really worked up looking for a reason to feel awful.

Do I need meds?
You're just over-thinking it. I say "just" like it should be easy to change that. I know it isn't, because I'm the same way. What works for me, is hypnotherapy. Would it work for you? Dunno. The same things don't work for everyone, and it's important to find what does work for you. While it may turn out that "meds" are what work for you, you should at least try other things first, since "meds" are kinda drastic, whatever the drug companies tell us. Maybe try deep breathing for a start? I was tutoring a friend with her college algebra. One day, before a big test, I told her to run around the building three times. It worked! The run got out a lot of her nervous energy, and the endorphins relaxed her enough to go in and ace that sucker! So, yeah . . . try some other things before you resort to teh "medz".

*snip*

Boy, I really would rather NOT use meds, as I know they have awful side effects and god only knows what they really do to one's brain. I've seen a few therapists, none of whom were particularly good cause it's just whatever insurance covers. I've never tried hypnotherapy, I thought that was sort of a crock. Does it really work for you? What is it like? Where would I go to find a qualified hypnotherapist?

I've been told that exercise would help. I really do need to get on that, it's just that I never have any time anymore. Plus it's boring and it hurts. :p

Oh, see, that wasn't because I was multitasking...I think it was because you left out a few words.

And at any rate, my point was that I know it's irrational to be anxiety-ridden. I really wasn't looking for "tough love" from a n00b, but I appreciate it if that was your intent.

If your intent was to make me feel even more shitty than I already do...you have succeeded admirably!

What the hell are you talking about? I was talking about me multitasking. I was refeering to the multitasking thread becasue I said I was playing Nationstates while on the phone with FAFSA.

Jesus.

What the hell are you talking about? I was talking about me multasking. I was refeering to the multitasking thread becasue I said I was playing Nationstates while on the phone with FAFSA.

Jesus.

Oh...I wouldn't know, I didn't see your post on that thread. I'm sorry.

If you have nothing to be anxious about then it has gone to far. Being worried about a class is a classic reason to be anxious. If you feel yourself shutting down then perhaps your workload is too high.

in reply to OP:
it's not that uncommon for people to feel that way, i often did and still do alot. part of my way out of it is to sit down and think things through. i know this probably makes me sound kinda strange, but i often end up thinking through conversation in my mind for hours on end. this can be with people i'd like to talk to or just random people i know. it seems to help me to some extent. i know it may not work for everyone, but it could be useful. the topics in this situation may vary, sometimes they are random, somethimes involving the person somethimes other people.
i also sometimes drink a bit and listen to music while doing this (not pop, more line nine inch nails, metallica and generally moody music) that sorta thing kept me sane for quite a while.

Boy, I really would rather NOT use meds, as I know they have awful side effects and god only knows what they really do to one's brain. I've seen a few therapists, none of whom were particularly good cause it's just whatever insurance covers. I've never tried hypnotherapy, I thought that was sort of a crock. Does it really work for you? What is it like? Where would I go to find a qualified hypnotherapist?

I've been told that exercise would help. I really do need to get on that, it's just that I never have any time anymore. Plus it's boring and it hurts. :p

Did I mention that sex is good exercise? Althought I suppose that it could be boring and hurt. . .
Honestly, I think the reason hypnotherapy works for me is because I choose for it to work for me, which is just a little too "woogie woogie" to pass as an objective observation. No idea how or why it works, but it does, for me. Try your university ombudsman for a start on where to find a qualified hypnotherapist, if that's interesting to you. Or your regular physician. Or the classified section of your local alternative paper. Be sure to ask for references and such, maybe see if a group program is available, don't go to someone you aren't comfortable with, blah, blah . . . all the usual precautions you would take before seeing a new dentist, or getting an oil change ;)

Tonight in my practicum class she said we'll be sharing how things are going and how we're feeling in our practicum, and I did great until it was my turn to talk, and I admitted that I don't feel confident and I am worried that I'm not ready. I said that have always needed time to feel comfortable in a situation before I can dive in, and my practicum supervisor said that I've had that time last Friday to just sit back and watch and now I'll have to dive in. Now I am walking around with a feeling of doom cause maybe she thinks I'm too immature and I'll be marked as not ready to move on from practicum. I know it's irrational, but it feels awful.

Then again, I walk around with a feeling of doom most of the time...sometimes I don't even know what the doom is FOR. I say, "Hm, there's that doom again...what could it be about? Did I do something wrong recently and not know it? What train is coming towards me that I can't see?" and I'll get really worked up looking for a reason to feel awful.

Do I need meds?

Hon, not to trivialize your apprehensions, but the very best antidote for anxiety about something is to make 100% certain you're as well-prepared for it as possible.

No, you don't need drugs. That's not a panacea, despite what some who should know better, such as most of the medical profession, might tell you. The anxiety you describe is just a bit to the edge of normal. I suspect that as you grow and mature, that will totally fade away. :)

If you have nothing to be anxious about then it has gone to far. Being worried about a class is a classic reason to be anxious. If you feel yourself shutting down then perhaps your workload is too high.

Especially since this particular class will determine whether I will be hired by a good school when I graduate, and it will also determine whether or not I will be allowed to remain in the program. If I got kicked out, it's back to square one for me, which means I will be broke as shit and I'll probably have to live in a box on the street and become a stripper, and I'm not very coordinated so that won't work out at all!

Sometimes when I work it through to its logical consequence, it gets silly enough that I feel better. :p

Did I mention that sex is good exercise? Althought I suppose that it could be boring and hurt. . .


You know, I've heard that. I'd try it this weekend, but I hear the moral majority is against having sex with women on their period. I could be stoned to death! :rolleyes:

Hon, not to trivialize your apprehensions, but the very best antidote for anxiety about something is to make 100% certain you're as well-prepared for it as possible.

No, you don't need drugs. That's not a panacea, despite what some who should know better, such as most of the medical profession, might tell you. The anxiety you describe is just a bit to the edge of normal. I suspect that as you grow and mature, that will totally fade away. :)

I don't think I'll ever feel 100% prepared for anything, ever. I always feel like I'm winging it, even if I've prepared for hours, days, months.

I think it could also be genetic. My grandmother sure hasn't grown out of her neuroses yet, and she's almost 80. (Or maybe she's 80-something now? I can't keep track.)

Well, I am going to go watch ER. Feel free to keep posting here since I'll be checking in tomorrow. I feel better already just "talking" about it and getting some support. I <3 you guys.

:fluffle:

I don't think I'll ever feel 100% prepared for anything, ever. I always feel like I'm winging it, even if I've prepared for hours, days, months.

I think it could also be genetic. My grandmother sure hasn't grown out of her neuroses yet, and she's almost 80. (Or maybe she's 80-something now? I can't keep track.)

The proof of the pudding is when the chips are down ( to inexcusably mix my metaphors! ). How you do on tests, etc. will tell you if your preparation was adequate. Unless I miss my guess, you get almost straight "As," yes? :)

I don't think I'll ever feel 100% prepared for anything, ever. I always feel like I'm winging it, even if I've prepared for hours, days, months.

I think it could also be genetic. My grandmother sure hasn't grown out of her neuroses yet, and she's almost 80. (Or maybe she's 80-something now? I can't keep track.)

Tip-top, uber secret, highly classified information: Everyone feels like they're winging it. Ask your instructor ;)

I don't think I'll ever feel 100% prepared for anything, ever. I always feel like I'm winging it, even if I've prepared for hours, days, months.
Don't listen to the old man. You can never be 100% prepared for anything, no matter what they say. However, chances are that being 85% prepared will be good enough.

Preparation and the ability to wing it, plus the realization that no one's going to care in 100 years, or not even next day, does wonders against anxiety.

Especially since this particular class will determine whether I will be hired by a good school when I graduate, and it will also determine whether or not I will be allowed to remain in the program. If I got kicked out, it's back to square one for me, which means I will be broke as shit and I'll probably have to live in a box on the street and become a stripper, and I'm not very coordinated so that won't work out at all!

Sometimes when I work it through to its logical consequence, it gets silly enough that I feel better. :p

Well then, no pressure. Maybe try some breathing excersises? Or chill on the forum with us. We'll make your life seem easier. Honestly we will! :)

Well, I am going to go watch ER. Feel free to keep posting here since I'll be checking in tomorrow. I feel better already just "talking" about it and getting some support. I <3 you guys.

:fluffle:Well, if you are looking into meds, valerian usually works well, as long as you don't have liver problems and don't use it regularly for a long period of time. However, it does counteract the pill.

Cute. ;) I gained access to brownies that were sitting next to the professor who was speaking to a lecture hall by...walking up and grabbing some. The guy next to me couldn't believe it, he said he never would have been able to do that.
Mmm. Brownies...

I have that doomy feeling. While luckily not most of the time, it's there.

And despite of all the good stuff happening, I'm still stuck in my PTSD thinking patterns ever once in a while - usually when I'm under a lot of stress.

Then I simply focus on it, accept it, and move on from another perspective.

If that makes any sense at all...

Maybe your serotonin-levels are a little low? 5-HTP + B6 might help set that straight?

Tonight in my practicum class she said we'll be sharing how things are going and how we're feeling in our practicum, and I did great until it was my turn to talk, and I admitted that I don't feel confident and I am worried that I'm not ready. I said that have always needed time to feel comfortable in a situation before I can dive in, and my practicum supervisor said that I've had that time last Friday to just sit back and watch and now I'll have to dive in. Now I am walking around with a feeling of doom cause maybe she thinks I'm too immature and I'll be marked as not ready to move on from practicum. I know it's irrational, but it feels awful.

Then again, I walk around with a feeling of doom most of the time...sometimes I don't even know what the doom is FOR. I say, "Hm, there's that doom again...what could it be about? Did I do something wrong recently and not know it? What train is coming towards me that I can't see?" and I'll get really worked up looking for a reason to feel awful.

Do I need meds?
It could be that your anxiety is from uncertainty about the future. You are on the verge of making the huge leap into the "real" world without any safety net save a sheepskin diploma and the experiences with which you earned it.
The practicum is one of the last steps in the scholarly end of the training for your chosen field. Even worse the practicum is the nearest possible mock up of the real world you are allowed to play on before you are released into it.It is a spectre of your future. For the first time since you were 6 you will be done with school and for the first time ever you will be an adult on her own and completely responsible for the entirety of her future.
Standing at the edge of something so big and important and totally unexplored should make one concerned whether the fear is founded or not. If this is why you are anxious then I have good news. Your worry is unfounded. You will do fine in life. You are far closer to ept than you are to inept. Youve got eveything you need to succeed out there, and that includes whatever your idea of success is. Youve got the training, the diploma, and even more importantly the heart and mind and attitude for it. You almost have the confidence for it and whats more youve got nice boobs which never hurt anyones luck. What could possibly go wromg?

*hugs Ilie*

The proof of the pudding is when the chips are down ( to inexcusably mix my metaphors! ). How you do on tests, etc. will tell you if your preparation was adequate. Unless I miss my guess, you get almost straight "As," yes? :)

In grad school I've had all straight As. Not so much in high school or college.

Tip-top, uber secret, highly classified information: Everyone feels like they're winging it. Ask your instructor ;)

Thank goodness! (No, I will NOT ask her. I will give myself away.)

Don't listen to the old man. You can never be 100% prepared for anything, no matter what they say. However, chances are that being 85% prepared will be good enough.

Preparation and the ability to wing it, plus the realization that no one's going to care in 100 years, or not even next day, does wonders against anxiety.

Thank you! That's true, looking at the big picture helps. Maybe that's why I love Kurt Vonnegut...he looks at the REALLY big picture. Hell, in a few more centuries, we'll all be evolved into seal-like creatures anyway!

Well then, no pressure. Maybe try some breathing excersises? Or chill on the forum with us. We'll make your life seem easier. Honestly we will! :)

You always do.

Well, if you are looking into meds, valerian usually works well, as long as you don't have liver problems and don't use it regularly for a long period of time. However, it does counteract the pill.

Well, I'm not on the pill.

Speaking of, I read an interesting article the other day that apparently Special K, an animal tranquilizer turned club drug, works wonders on serious depression. (I doubt I have that, but it seemed like a good segway). They said it works on a completely different part of the brain that they never knew was involved in depression. Now they just have to figure out how to weed out the side-effects...like enjoying club music, for example. ;)

Mmm. Brownies...

I have that doomy feeling. While luckily not most of the time, it's there.

And despite of all the good stuff happening, I'm still stuck in my PTSD thinking patterns ever once in a while - usually when I'm under a lot of stress.

Then I simply focus on it, accept it, and move on from another perspective.

If that makes any sense at all...

It does, actually. I didn't realize you suffered from PTSD. What from, if you don't mind sharing?

It could be that your anxiety is from uncertainty about the future. You are on the verge of making the huge leap into the "real" world without any safety net save a sheepskin diploma and the experiences with which you earned it.
The practicum is one of the last steps in the scholarly end of the training for your chosen field. Even worse the practicum is the nearest possible mock up of the real world you are allowed to play on before you are released into it.It is a spectre of your future. For the first time since you were 6 you will be done with school and for the first time ever you will be an adult on her own and completely responsible for the entirety of her future.
Standing at the edge of something so big and important and totally unexplored should make one concerned whether the fear is founded or not. If this is why you are anxious then I have good news. Your worry is unfounded. You will do fine in life. You are far closer to ept than you are to inept. Youve got eveything you need to succeed out there, and that includes whatever your idea of success is. Youve got the training, the diploma, and even more importantly the heart and mind and attitude for it. You almost have the confidence for it and whats more youve got nice boobs which never hurt anyones luck. What could possibly go wromg?

*hugs Ilie*

Thank you! You're probably right about quite a bit of that, and I appreciate the vote of confidence. I've always respected your opinion. ...uh, I just read the part about my boobs. Thanks?

[Actually, I have a practicum (100 hours) AND an internship (600 hours). I'm only a third through my program, I won't do my internship until the very end of it, which will be in the spring semester of 2008.]

everyone feels like they're winging it. is your anxiety existential by any chance cuz i usually find when i start getting depressed for no particular reason i can usually track it back eventually to being uncertain about my future and feeling like i wasted my life so far. and what's a practicum?

everyone feels like they're winging it. is your anxiety existential by any chance cuz i usually find when is start getting depressed for no particular reason i can usually track it back eventually to being uncertain about my future and feeling like i wasted my life so far. and what's a practicum?

A practicum is a more limited form of internship. I spend 100 hours at my site (an elementary school, in this case) and I need to do a specific set of things in this real-life setting. My internship will be 600 hours, which is the equivalent of a full-time job at the site for a semester, and I am expected to basically behave as I would if I were employed at the school in that position.

I believe most people's problems are existential on a basic level, so yeah, I agree with you on that one.

A practicum is a more limited form of internship. I spend 100 hours at my site (an elementary school, in this case) and I need to do a specific set of things in this real-life setting. My internship will be 600 hours, which is the equivalent of a full-time job at the site for a semester, and I am expected to basically behave as I would if I were employed at the school in that position. ah, i see, cool.

I believe most people's problems are existential on a basic level, so yeah, I agree with you on that one.

well, the next thing to do, once the existential nature of the thing has been established, is to start doing something new or doing something differently and deliberately ignoring the anxiety. easier said than done obviously but you'll forget the anxiety if you can distract yourself from it. it's easier than trying to solve the problem anyway.

ah, i see, cool.



well, the next thing to do, once the existential nature of the thing has been established, is to start doing something new or doing something differently and deliberately ignoring the anxiety. easier said than done obviously but you'll forget the anxiety if you can distract yourself from it. it's easier than trying to solve the problem anyway.

How would having to distract myself from anxiety all day every day for the rest of my life be easier than trying to solve the problem at its root?

How would having to distract myself from anxiety all day every day for the rest of my life be easier than trying to solve the problem at its root?

well, cuz you aren't going to feel anxiety all day every day unless you let yourself. maybe. i mean i'm only going on my own experience, but as long as i'm driving at something i tend to feel less anxiety than if i'm standing still letting myself worry. plus i'm pessimistic as to how curable my own existential anxiety is so ignoring it seems the best bet. for me. although i'd say to anyone, meds are the last resort. try herbal stuff cuz even if that only works psyckosomatically(sp) it's still working to an extent.

Tonight in my practicum class she said we'll be sharing how things are going and how we're feeling in our practicum, and I did great until it was my turn to talk, and I admitted that I don't feel confident and I am worried that I'm not ready. I said that have always needed time to feel comfortable in a situation before I can dive in, and my practicum supervisor said that I've had that time last Friday to just sit back and watch and now I'll have to dive in. Now I am walking around with a feeling of doom cause maybe she thinks I'm too immature and I'll be marked as not ready to move on from practicum. I know it's irrational, but it feels awful.

Then again, I walk around with a feeling of doom most of the time...sometimes I don't even know what the doom is FOR. I say, "Hm, there's that doom again...what could it be about? Did I do something wrong recently and not know it? What train is coming towards me that I can't see?" and I'll get really worked up looking for a reason to feel awful.

Do I need meds?

I'll let you know tomorrow. I feel the same way about things and my therapist (marriage counselor) says I may be ADD with Anxiety. I'll be getting worked up by a neurologist tomorrow and see what he says about it.

You dont need meds. You need a swift kick in the ass and relise you have the opportunity to even go to school. Not realizing that many others are less fortunate than you.

Unless someone close has died or anything else traumatic should be depressed on anxiety ridden.

Or if you have clinical depression coupled with anxiety attacks like I do.
And yes I am on medication for these diseases.

Mental illness is a disease just like diabetes or heart disease.
It should carry no stigma.
After all how often are heart patients told to "get over it"?

plus i'm pessimistic as to how curable my own existential anxiety is so ignoring it seems the best bet. for me. although i'd say to anyone, meds are the last resort. try herbal stuff cuz even if that only works psyckosomatically(sp) it's still working to an extent.

True, true. I don't really intend to use medication. Even herbal stuff can have serious effects, and since they aren't regulated by the Fod and Drug Administration, you never know what interactions they'll have with other drugs, etc.

I'll let you know tomorrow. I feel the same way about things and my therapist (marriage counselor) says I may be ADD with Anxiety. I'll be getting worked up by a neurologist tomorrow and see what he says about it.

Really! You really must post back here, I have to know what they said. How is your marriage counselor, anyway? I've gone to a few different counselors and one who worked with me and my boyfriend as a couple, and I just don't feel like they were doing anything special. Hell, I'm in school for counseling, and I could do better than that. How does one find a GOOD counselor?

Or if you have clinical depression coupled with anxiety attacks like I do.
And yes I am on medication for these diseases.

Mental illness is a disease just like diabetes or heart disease.
It should carry no stigma.
After all how often are heart patients told to "get over it"?

THANK you. Sheesh! There is a real issue in western culture with emotions...like they aren't real and don't matter, or they aren't part of our physical health. Depression and anxiety are real, and you can't just will it away.

Well, I'm not on the pill.

Speaking of, I read an interesting article the other day that apparently Special K, an animal tranquilizer turned club drug, works wonders on serious depression. (I doubt I have that, but it seemed like a good segway). They said it works on a completely different part of the brain that they never knew was involved in depression. Now they just have to figure out how to weed out the side-effects...like enjoying club music, for example. ;)What's so bad about club music? :confused: :p

Anyway, I took valerian pills (weak ones, not the ones to make you fall asleep) before my biology oral exam last year. It worked quite well.

Really! You really must post back here, I have to know what they said. How is your marriage counselor, anyway? I've gone to a few different counselors and one who worked with me and my boyfriend as a couple, and I just don't feel like they were doing anything special. Hell, I'm in school for counseling, and I could do better than that. How does one find a GOOD counselor?

Well the neurologist said that either my anxiety is distracting me, which would make it look like I'm ADD. Or my ADD could be leading to anxiety because of a pattern of inability to focus and succeed.

He let me pick whether I wanted to start with the anti-anxiety and see if it helps my ADD or vice versa. I picked vice-versa . He's got me on pro-vigil, which feels like I'm on 10,000 cups of coffee (and I took it 6 hours ago!). It's only been one day, so I'm gonna have to wait and see. But I'm feeling more of an optimistic giddiness rather than anxiety, however I don't see this helping my ability to sit still and focus on anything. I just want to get up and do jumping jacks.

The counselor is helping, but its more about having someone who can keep conversations about touchy subjects from turning into screaming matches. If you're going to school for counseling I imagine you'd be in a position to ask counselors about their psychological approach (Rogerian, behaviorist etc.). It's hard for behavior therapy to help in a relationship problem.

I didn't do a whole lot of looking though, so I guess I was just lucky.

Well the neurologist said that either my anxiety is distracting me, which would make it look like I'm ADD. Or my ADD could be leading to anxiety because of a pattern of inability to focus and succeed.

He let me pick whether I wanted to start with the anti-anxiety and see if it helps my ADD or vice versa. I picked vice-versa . He's got me on pro-vigil, which feels like I'm on 10,000 cups of coffee (and I took it 6 hours ago!). It's only been one day, so I'm gonna have to wait and see. But I'm feeling more of an optimistic giddiness rather than anxiety, however I don't see this helping my ability to sit still and focus on anything. I just want to get up and do jumping jacks.

The counselor is helping, but its more about having someone who can keep conversations about touchy subjects from turning into screaming matches. If you're going to school for counseling I imagine you'd be in a position to ask counselors about their psychological approach (Rogerian, behaviorist etc.). It's hard for behavior therapy to help in a relationship problem.

I didn't do a whole lot of looking though, so I guess I was just lucky.

Interesting how ADD meds are actually stimulants...

What's so bad about club music? :confused: :p

Anyway, I took valerian pills (weak ones, not the ones to make you fall asleep) before my biology oral exam last year. It worked quite well.

I hear beta blockers are good for that. (And it depends on what KIND of club music...I don't much care for techno, for example.)

I don't much care for techno, for example.Nobody's perfect :p

It does, actually. I didn't realize you suffered from PTSD. What from, if you don't mind sharing?
I'd actually rather not talk about it here. Let's just say something happened 5 years ago and I didn't know what was wrong for 4 years before I asked for help - but the bad thinking patterns got stuck over time and became "normal".
So whenever I'm under stress, I have to actively counter those patterns - which takes away some of my concentration, which raises my anxiety...

Anyway, I'm having some problems lately, including depression - but it's by no means as severe as last year, so that's good, and I've learned quite a lot in the meantime, and that's something I can work with. Like actively changing the way I think and accepting that anxiety "simply" as part of who I am. ;)