NationStates Jolt Archive

Have you ever considered committing suicide? If you have, what made you decide not to?

Have you ever considered committing suicide? If you have, what made you decide not to?

Not really. I have an age old belief that in extremis, if anyone gets hurt, I'm not going to be the last one.

Who said they decided not to?

*BRAINS*

I have many times, most of the time I really didn't consider it to the point that I would attempt it, so I got help before I got that far.

The two times I actually did attempt I was caught/found and taken to the hospital, where the doctors kept me alive.

Have you ever considered committing suicide? If you have, what made you decide not to?

Several times.

I don't know why I didn't. When you're thinking rationally, you can think of reasons to not kill yourself. But when you're about to, you aren't thinking rationally, or at least most of us aren't.

There were several times when I was just so sick of myself, that I thought I would rid myself and everyone around me of myself.

I don't know why each time I wanted to, I didn't. I have to say it was by God's grace thatI didn't because it was by no will of my own.

Yes, when I was younger. Usually it was my body not letting me, but sometimes it was that I couldn't think of a method that I liked.

Yeah sure, I've considered it a few times, but I've never bothered doing it. "There's stuff I want to do" and so on.

Thinking about suicide has been increaing in popularity these days, especially among teenagers, such as me :)

I considered it a few times.

Not feeling under the weather, are we Soveistan?

I considered it once when the school suggested holding me back a year (I was very arrogant like that)

Yeah sure, I've considered it a few times, but I've never bothered doing it. "There's stuff I want to do" and so on.

Thinking about suicide has been increaing in popularity these days, especially among teenagers, such as me :)

Especially emos, when they aren't wearing their little sister's jeans.

I prefer the slow method of suicide ... stogies and lots of booze. I figure I got another 40 years ... tops!

Not feeling under the weather, are we Soveistan?

meh would be a good way to describe how I'm feeling.

Lots of my friends talk about suicide and cutting themselves. But I know they won't do it atleast. If they do I'll just study how to resurrect people. That would be fun :)

Suicide is selfish, you have responsibilities.

I've considered suicide lots of times, usually in a "I wonder what it would be like" sort of way.

Only once when I was facing three major life crises, a troubled romantic relationship, and the rest of my social group falling apart, was I genuinely intent on harming myself, and a friend talked me out of it, thankfully.

I find they're best if you go for 2 parts root beer, one part pepsi, one part mountain dew, one part fruit punch and one part seven up.

But, seriously, I've no desire, no have I ever had one, to bring harm unto myself out of depression. I very much enjoy life, and all the experiences associated with it. I love sensation, I enjoy everything, even depression and darkness, in some sort of odd way. I love heat, I love cold, I love sensation. Maybe I'm crazy, but there's so much to experience, and I want to experience as much of it as I naturally can.

I've never seriously considered suicide. Considering suicide is above my down. To put it in terms that you'd all understand, if depression was sobriety, my depression would be knurd.

Yes. I have bipolar II disorder; suicidal tendencies are kind of part of the package. It's been a while since I felt seriously suicidal, though, which is very nice. :)

meh would be a good way to describe how I'm feeling.

Think of it this way, Soviestan.

It could always be worse. You could be Deep Kimchi. :p

Yes. I have bipolar II disorder; suicidal tendencies are kind of part of the package. It's been a while since I felt seriously suicidal, though, which is very nice. :)

hey, my mom is bipolar II, she rapid cycles, it made for an interesting childhood.

she won't stay on her meds lately which seems to be typical for her.

I am glad that you are doing well. ;)

hey, my mom is bipolar II, she rapid cycles, it made for an interesting childhood.

she won't stay on her meds lately which seems to be typical for her.

I am glad that you are doing well. ;)

My wife takes lithium and Seroquel, and it works well for her. No episodes in a long time.

I pity people who can't get it managed by therapy and pharmaceuticals.

Considered it loads when I was younger.

The one time I v.nearly went through with it was when I was 20. I was v.ill and unable to cope, had serious anxiety + depression - I was flatbound, living on my own and having panic attacks all day everyday, after 4 months I saw no other way out and wanted it to stop. I sat on the floor with the knife slightly digging into my wrist for a long time.

The thing that snapped me out on that occasion was the thought of my nephew who was young at the time and how it'd affect him as I was his idol back then.

Luckily hypnosis sorted the anxiety and I'm now stronger than I've ever been. I'm never headed back to such problems - NEVER.

My wife takes lithium and Seroquel, and it works well for her. No episodes in a long time.

I pity people who can't get it managed by therapy and pharmaceuticals.

she was doing great on effexor and seroquel, but then she skipped a few days because she forgot to get her refill, and dropped into depression which was quickly replaced by a manic episode a week later and now she is flying on that, she won't take her meds because she "feels great" so, I am sitting here waiting for her to drop again so I can get her admitted into the hospital and put back on meds to even her out.

like I said it's pretty typical.

she was doing great on effexor and seroquel, but then she skipped a few days because she forgot to get her refill, and dropped into depression which was quickly replaced by a manic episode a week later and now she is flying on that, she won't take her meds because she "feels great" so, I am sitting here waiting for her to drop again so I can get her admitted into the hospital and put back on meds to even her out.

like I said it's pretty typical.
Yes, it takes a while to convince them that the "feeling well" is the top of the rollercoaster ride.

Never. I have a self preservation program that wont allow it under any circumstances. And I've been through a lot.
Even with depression I never did. Even stopping anti depressants stone cold I never did.

Yes, it takes a while to convince them that the "feeling well" is the top of the rollercoaster ride.

there are times when I look forward to her dying. I feel bad saying that I really do, but when I have been dealing with this since I was a small child, it gets really old really quick.

there are times when I look forward to her dying. I feel bad saying that I really do, but when I have been dealing with this since I was a small child, it gets really old really quick.

Try repeatedly marrying different women who all turn out to be bipolar, and I was attracted to the top of the rollercoaster.

Try repeatedly marrying different women who all turn out to be bipolar, and I was attracted to the top of the rollercoaster.

sad sad.

I am really suprised that I didn't marry someone mentally ill or abusive. I kept dating them.

I've never considered suicide because of despression (depression just makes me write long, rambling essays on philosophy), but I do get the urge out of a sort of idle curiosity. I don't know why, but I've always had this desire to know what it would look/feel like to slit my wrists.
The only reason I haven't is because I doubt that I would have enough time to fully appreciate the act before blood loss made me go unconscious (and then I wouldn't know anything else about it at all).

sad sad.

I am really suprised that I didn't marry someone mentally ill or abusive. I kept dating them.

Not bad now, through the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals.

Yes, it takes a while to convince them that the "feeling well" is the top of the rollercoaster ride.

Yeah, I'm lucky (well, sort of) - I never have manias per se, only hypomanias, so I cycle between "cripplingly depressed" and "okay." It makes it a lot easier to be rational about things like "taking my pills is helpful, at least now that I've finally found a pill that actually helps without causing really horrible side effects." ;)

Yeah, I'm lucky (well, sort of) - I never have manias per se, only hypomanias, so I cycle between "cripplingly depressed" and "okay." It makes it a lot easier to be rational about things like "taking my pills is helpful, at least now that I've finally found a pill that actually helps without causing really horrible side effects." ;)

that's always good. She (my mom) goes from being a zombie, to being a suicidal zombie, to being "okay" to being a 3 year old on a sugar high with a credit card, to being a bitch, to being a wreckless bitch, to being a wreckless bitch who just figured out that she spent $4K over the weekend that she didn't have, to being a zombie.....etc.

like I said, I am glad you have meds that are working.

that's always good. She (my mom) goes from being a zombie, to being a suicidal zombie, to being "okay" to being a 3 year old on a sugar high with a credit card, to being a bitch, to being a wreckless bitch, to being a wreckless bitch who just figured out that she spent $4K over the weekend that she didn't have, to being a zombie.....etc.

like I said, I am glad you have meds that are working.

Yeesh. I feel really sorry for your mom (and for you as well) - bipolar can be an awful, awful disorder sometimes.

Yeesh. I feel really sorry for your mom (and for you as well) - bipolar can be an awful, awful disorder sometimes.
Quit trying to bum us out with this off topic discussion. Why can't people just enjoy a light-hearted, family-friendly topic about suicide without bringing all this dark stuff into it?
This post is in no way intended to be serious, so trying to bitch at me about being so heartless in making it would be rather pointless.

Quit trying to bum us out with this off topic discussion. Why can't people just enjoy a light-hearted, family-friendly topic about suicide without bringing all this dark stuff into it?
This post is in no way intended to be serious, so trying to bitch at me about being so heartless in making it would be rather pointless.

Yeah, let's talk about how my dog just died...

I think it was thoughts of family etc., not wanting to have any part in causing them to be devastated

Even at that, if I really feel down and I want to get out of it, I go with the unhealthy way: I drink.

This post is in no way intended to be serious, so trying to bitch at me about being so heartless in making it would be rather pointless.

*bitches pointlessly, just for the fun of it* ;) :p

I did think about it, a number of times. There were years when all that kept me going was that promise to myself that I'll end it all when I'm 45, but that I just have to stick to it until then... and despite that, I attempted it twice. Turns out I've a really really strong and resistant body.

Well, I'm here now, I'm feeling fine and stable, and have for a few months now. :)

Think of it this way, Soviestan.

It could always be worse. You could be Deep Kimchi. :p

eh, its nothing a little(or alot:p ) alcohol can't fix.;)

Several times I thought it might be easier to die than to live on, then I realized I was being a pussy. My parents lived through much harder times in communist China.

Besides, why kill ourselves when most of us are already dead inside?

Besides, why kill ourselves when most of us are already dead inside?

Very true. I like that insight.

But it often seems to me that folks kill themselves precisely because they are already dead inside, and that's why life is so disatisfactory for them.

considered it many times, never gone through with it because always had too amny people around who may be slightly inconvienienced by the fact i'm no longer around

I considered it once or twice but that was years ago and I got some pills to take care of it. Now I don't have to take the pills and haven't thought about it in a long time. But now that you've brought up the topic...

I prefer the slow method of suicide ... stogies and lots of booze. I figure I got another 40 years ... tops!

Agreed!!!

I used to think about it all the time, when I was going through my angsty-teenage-girl phase. I only tried it once. It was awful. As soon as I did what I did, I realized all these little things that I had wanted to do, and all the things I wanted to be when I was older....Ironically, committing the act is what cleared everything up for me. Haha...good thing it didn't work. XD

I now prefer daydreams of becoming a homeless bag-lady over thoughts of suicide. It's a lot less permanent, really, and when I haven't done my homework for engineering physics I think

"Well....if all else fails, I can just be homeless."
instead of
"Well...I'll just kill myself."

nah quick one's like CO poisening with anadin and vodka are peachy too

Aww... Here it comes.

Yep. During my "emo" phase last year and early this year, I was doing everything emo. Including considering suicide even though I really didn't want to.

Aww... Here it comes.

Yep. During my "emo" phase last year and early this year, I was doing everything emo. Including considering suicide even though I really didn't want to.

not sure what an "emo phase " is but i still do, just look for any reason to stay alive, oh well

Aww... Here it comes.

Yep. During my "emo" phase last year and early this year, I was doing everything emo. Including considering suicide even though I really didn't want to.

Ah, right. For a week we were wondering if we had driven you to kill yourself or not.

Have you ever considered committing suicide? If you have, what made you decide not to?

The incompetence of my five year old mind. How was I to know to slash the bottom of my wrist?

"Suicide is Painless"
Music by Johnny Mandel
Lyrics by Mike Altman

(Lyrics in red were sung in the movie)

Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...

[REFRAIN]
That suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's to late, and...

REFRAIN

The game of life is hard to play
I'm going to lose it anyway
the losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say

REFRAIN

The only way to win is cheat
and lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat

REFRAIN

The sword of time will pierce our skins
it doesn't hurt when it begins
but as it works its way on in
the pain grows stronger...watch it grin but...

REFRAIN

A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
is it to be or not to be
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'

'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please

...and you can do the same thing if you please.

Have you ever considered committing suicide? If you have, what made you decide not to?

yes. i suffered from dysthimia and bouts of clinical major depression (combined = double depression) for the last 3 years at least. as such i considered (wished for) suicide pretty much daily, and most of the day, too. would go to bed every night hoping - wishing, somehow - that i wouldn't wake up in the morning. it took hours to bother to get out of bed because i just... didn't want to be alive. it wasn't so much that i wanted to die (or kill myself), so to speak, but just not be alive any more. suicidal thoughts were certainly a daily occurance, but i only attempted once in all that time :)

these days the thoughts still cross my mind, but are less strong (because i've been there, looked over the edge, and know i am able to not jump, metaphorically speaking), and i do have hope for the future now as things have improved greatly for me in the last year or so, and am now on medication for it (which is helping a lot)
(i always type too much in these personal info threads :p)

The two times I actually did attempt I was caught/found and taken to the hospital, where the doctors kept me alive.

:-S

my own attempt was too feeble to do much damage, heh. i sorta snapped out of it shortly afterwards and felt really stupid with a slightly bloody, blunt knife in my hand. i didn't even cut in the right place lol... though had it worked, nobody who cared about me was around, and probably by the time anyone found me it'd have been waaay too late.

i did also have a whole bunch of plans and 'methods' sorted out in my head... where i'd go, what to use, where to get said tools from. my favourite was going to my local ASDA (wal-mart) cos they have a big, dark (at night) carpark, and its open 24 hours... getting a funnel, some tape, and a hosepipe, connecting that lot up to the car exhaust and suffocating gently after passing out. could even listen to music on the car radio, heh.


edit:

meh would be a good way to describe how I'm feeling.

if you are considering suicide at all, perhaps talking to someone you know well (friends or family) about it, or at least about whatever problems you're going through, would probably be more beneficial than talking to teh interweb strangersTM :)

I did think about it, a number of times. There were years when all that kept me going was that promise to myself that I'll end it all when I'm 45, but that I just have to stick to it until then... and despite that, I attempted it twice. Turns out I've a really really strong and resistant body.

Well, I'm here now, I'm feeling fine and stable, and have for a few months now. :)

glad to hear it :) :fluffle:

prozac works wonders.

I considered suicide when I was youger, I have suffered from depression my entire adult life, but I have a little sister that is 16 years younger than myself and I did not want to hurt her.

Then when I was in my mid 20's my roomate hung himself in our apartment.
I found his body after giving his girlfriend (later my wife and the mother of my 2 kids...now my ex) who he had beaten up a ride home.

Once you see a suicide and its after effects it really puts you off the idea.

Yeah when I was stupid and emo I considered suicide.

Yes. I decided not to because I know that it wouldn't solve anything. I know that death does not end our existence and therefore killing myself would not end my suffering, but instead give me one more thing to feel awful about.

I think everyone has thought about it at least once. Though many, like me, probably discard the idea almost as soon as it presents it's self.

There have been a few very low times in my life that I had to keep fighting that idea away, but I did, and life does get better. Some times it just takes awhile to do so.

When I was a teenager and going through severe emotional issues I tried to commit suicide a few times to no success -obviously- and the next day I would inevitably realize that, if I had succeeded, I would have missed something really special. I was thick-headed so it took me a couple of times to fully grasp the concept.

Eventually, when my great grandmother died at the age of 92, I thought about how she had lived her life to it's fullest and I promised that I would try not to take life for granted.

Now, when things get really tough and I find myself considering it, I just think about my son and how extremely selfish and fucked up it would be to take my life.

I've tried, more than once. I'm on meds for clinical depression, but I know that I could still fall over the cliff. I kind of hope not, since I currently have a new reason to want to live.