NationStates Jolt Archive

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

Sorry can I ask how old you are?

I'm still friends with a lot of my ex-boyfriends.

I think I'd kinda hope that any guy I dated liked my personality and vice versa. That shouldn't change when you break up with someone.

I'm still friends with a lot of my ex-boyfriends.

I'm not. But that's mostly because so many nasty things happened before the breakups, that I'd rather not have contact with the person any more.

Just means you don't get sex anymore. Which from my understanding of long term straight relationships isn't all that different. It's like getting married, without the tax benefits!

Women are mean and evil creatures, that's why.

*gets smacked* Ow!

I mean they are wonderful creatures who see the value of a friendship if not nessicarly a relationship with a particular guy. :p

I think I'd kinda hope that any guy I dated liked my personality and vice versa. That shouldn't change when you break up with someone.

True enough...but that's a two way street, and to break up with someone over MSN is about as low as you can get.

Why be friends with a woman who didn't even have the guts to break up with you face to face? If they like your personality so much, they should at least extend you that courtesy.

I'm not. But that's mostly because so many nasty things happened before the breakups, that I'd rather not have contact with the person any more.


Yep and I'm still freinds with all of my ex girlfreinds(well not all but most)

Firstly, despite the fact that I know what you are going to say next, I'm 16. Secondly, there is mroe to a relationship than sex.
Thirdly. Yes, I did like her personality. In fact, I loved it. I loved everything about her, and then she just decides she doesent want a bf anymore.

Firstly, despite the fact that I know what you are going to say next, I'm 16. Secondly, there is mroe to a relationship than sex.
Thirdly. Yes, I did like her personality. In fact, I loved it. I loved everything about her, and then she just decides she doesent want a bf anymore.

Heh soooo what am I going to say then........?

oh idk... Something about me being immature or something... Ok, So I really had no idea.

True enough...but that's a two way street, and to break up with someone over MSN is about as low as you can get.

Why be friends with a woman who didn't even have the guts to break up with you face to face? If they like your personality so much, they should at least extend you that courtesy.

Agreed. Breaking up with someone over MSN is pretty crap.

I wasn't suggesting the OP remain friends with this chick, just offering a general explanation of why a woman might want to remain friends.

"heh, yeah, like I don't already have too fucking many female friends."

I loved everything about her, and then she just decides she doesent want a bf anymore.

Why should she stay in a relationship she doesn't want to, just because you would like to continue seeing her? I'm sorry, but what she wants for herself is more important than what you or anyone else wants. Just accept that she doesn't want a boyfriend, and try to remain friends seeing as you loved everything about her.

You can never be good friends again.

You can be sociable to each other, but always in the back of your mind, your forever gonna think, "We had sex, we had sex, we had sex.." whenever you see each other.

Then, all the feelings you had when you broke up come back, and its not always easy to pretend like nothing happened and everything is peachy-keen between you.

Sad, but thats how it is.

I think I'd kinda hope that any guy I dated liked my personality and vice versa. That shouldn't change when you break up with someone.

It's not that you don't like the person's personality anymore (sometimes) but that just because one person stops loving doesn't mean the other one has. The only thing harder than being in love with someone who isn't in love with you is being in love with someone who use to be in love with you, or so you or they thought. Staying in a room with them is like having a gorilla destroying the room and forcably not saying anything about it.

When you both come to the same conclusion, sure, it's a lot easier. But it doesn't always work that way. It's a genie that doesn't go back-you shared something personal and now that person you've grown accustom to giving that to isn't receptive to it anymore. It's like fixing a raw nerve by jamming a finger in it.

Sure that person is special and even if your not in love you want them to be part of you, but to them you're still more than just special and being around you is a reminder of that really valuable part of them that they just lost. It's not always easy.

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

No. They will always try to have "something else" for "the old and good times", even if they are engaged in other relationship or whatever. Big no, exs are exs, not friends.

Cabra's point also applies to me.

Agreed. Breaking up with someone over MSN is pretty crap.

About that, if you've ever had to end a relationship you'll know how difficult it is. This girl might not of dumped him on MSN out of a lack of respect, but because she was terrified of doing it in person.

About that, if you've ever had to end a relationship you'll know how difficult it is. This girl might not of dumped him on MSN out of a lack of respect, but because she was terrified of doing it in person.

Then she needs to have her self confidence checked. You need to face your decisions...

Why should she stay in a relationship she doesn't want to, just because you would like to continue seeing her? I'm sorry, but what she wants for herself is more important than what you or anyone else wants. Just accept that she doesn't want a boyfriend, and try to remain friends seeing as you loved everything about her.

That's not the only reason she broke up with me, And it was about the fourth reason she gave me. Besides, I'm a little skeptical about that sentence, as the last two times I've heard it, the people who gave it had a bf within two days.

Firstly, despite the fact that I know what you are going to say next, I'm 16. Secondly, there is mroe to a relationship than sex.
Thirdly. Yes, I did like her personality. In fact, I loved it. I loved everything about her, and then she just decides she doesent want a bf anymore.

I just turned 17, so I'm not going to be one of those people who say you're too young. Perhaps she's just not ready. Perhaps she's scared. Perhaps she just doesn't feel attracted to you in the boyfriend kind of way. If you like her personality, why not stay friends?

oh idk... Something about me being immature or something... Ok, So I really had no idea.

Heheh well okay I admit it, you where on the right lines, I was going to say, some thing along the lines of........


Shit man 16, and I guess she would be around the same age, don't sweat it man, your heads fucked up, her heads fucked up it's not her fault nor yours, it's just what happens at your age, wait a while get some drink down your neck and move on to the next one!

About that, if you've ever had to end a relationship you'll know how difficult it is. This girl might not of dumped him on MSN out of a lack of respect, but because she was terrified of doing it in person.

Also, the fact she was (probably) quite young can't have helped. But from my pov, I could only do it face to face, no matter how much it hurt.

True enough...but that's a two way street, and to break up with someone over MSN is about as low as you can get.

Why be friends with a woman who didn't even have the guts to break up with you face to face? If they like your personality so much, they should at least extend you that courtesy.

Why is it low? Why not just a bit cowardly. If you break up anyhoo it's not going to make ya feel great so why does the methoed matter?

Heheh well okay I admit it, you where on the right lines, I was going to say, some thing along the lines of........


Shit man 16, and I guess she would be around the same age, don't sweat it man, your heads fucked up, her heads fucked up it's not her fault nor yours, it's just what happens at your age, wait a while get some drink down your neck and move on to the next one!

Please, climb into your bookshelf, and stay there until you've finished reading the dictionary. Actually, just stay there, full stop.

Please, climb into your bookshelf, and stay there until you've finished reading the dictionary. Actually, just stay there, full stop.

Ohhhhh hand bags, and whats up with you then? And I hope that dictioanry remark was not takin the piss outa my spellin?

It's not that you don't like the person's personality anymore (sometimes) but that just because one person stops loving doesn't mean the other one has. The only thing harder than being in love with someone who isn't in love with you is being in love with someone who use to be in love with you, or so you or they thought. Staying in a room with them is like having a gorilla destroying the room and forcably not saying anything about it.

When you both come to the same conclusion, sure, it's a lot easier. But it doesn't always work that way. It's a genie that doesn't go back-you shared something personal and now that person you've grown accustom to giving that to isn't receptive to it anymore. It's like fixing a raw nerve by jamming a finger in it.

Sure that person is special and even if your not in love you want them to be part of you, but to them you're still more than just special and being around you is a reminder of that really valuable part of them that they just lost. It's not always easy.

This post makes me want to cry. I know I've unintentionally hurt people that I've loved in the past and it hurts more than anything I've felt.

Firstly, despite the fact that I know what you are going to say next, I'm 16. Secondly, there is mroe to a relationship than sex.
Thirdly. Yes, I did like her personality. In fact, I loved it. I loved everything about her, and then she just decides she doesent want a bf anymore.

I'm going to say it anyway. You're fucking 16, you can't get this hung up on one girl for too long.

I'm still friends with all my ex's the key thing you have to remember is that the odds are you will only see her every now and again anyways

And I use msn to ask people out so I guess dumping someone using it isn’t much of a stretch (yes even I am shy sometimes!)

edit: woot for 16'ers!

Eventually you get over it.

Sounds harsh but it's true.

I'm still friends whith my ex, partly I think because we were always going to be better friends than girl/boyfriends but mostly because the breakup wasn;t a messy one (she dumped me via bebo, now THAT is a shit way to do it but otherwise well, neither of us got over it quickly but we were each able to ride it out without going apeshit at the other).

Most of my friends end up the same way with their exes (except one who has variously gained stalkers, would-be murderesses and people who merely hate him from 90% of his relationships...)

I'm going to say it anyway. You're fucking 16, you can't get this hung up on one girl for too long.

What is age, really?? I know 32 year olds who act dumber than I do. Age is as meaningless as Race, merely another way for us to divide society. What is the difference between a 16 year old in love and a 32 year old in love?? The 32 year old thinks that the sixteen year old isnt really in love because they are too young to know what love is. But love is an emotion, and 16 year olds can feel anger, rage, happiness, sorrow, joy... Why not love??

I loved her. And I will love her until every star burns from the sky and every grain of sand erodes away.

What is age, really?? I know 32 year olds who act dumber than I do. Age is as meaningless as Race, merely another way for us to divide society. What is the difference between a 16 year old in love and a 32 year old in love?? The 32 year old thinks that the sixteen year old isnt really in love because they are too young to know what love is. But love is an emotion, and 16 year olds can feel anger, rage, happiness, sorrow, joy... Why not love??

I loved her. And I will love her until every star burns from the sky and every grain of sand erodes away.

No, no you won't. That's why age matters, because you're full of hormones and not a whole lot of logic and perspective. You -will- get over her, fairly easily, unless you're an emo bastard who holds onto things like this for the expressed purpose of whining about it and getting attention.

Szanth, this is going to seem to be coming from nowhere... But are you a christian or catholic??

Then she needs to have her self confidence checked. You need to face your decisions...

I'm guessing she's a teenager, maybe this is her first relationship. I don't know. But it's not that simple. When I was in sixth-form college, I had a friend who was really shy. She wasn't happy with her boyfriend, but stuck with him for months because she was too scared to dump him. Some people just can't face difficult decisions.

That's not the only reason she broke up with me, And it was about the fourth reason she gave me. Besides, I'm a little skeptical about that sentence, as the last two times I've heard it, the people who gave it had a bf within two days.
Whatever the reason, it has ended. Deal with it. I'm guessing the excuses are because she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Personally I don't see a white lie as being anything wrong. At least you know she still cares a little.
I'm going to say it anyway. You're fucking 16, you can't get this hung up on one girl for too long.

Maybe he was being too clingy. I don't know any sixteen year olds who want a serious relationship.

What is age, really?? I know 32 year olds who act dumber than I do. Age is as meaningless as Race, merely another way for us to divide society. What is the difference between a 16 year old in love and a 32 year old in love?? The 32 year old thinks that the sixteen year old isnt really in love because they are too young to know what love is. But love is an emotion, and 16 year olds can feel anger, rage, happiness, sorrow, joy... Why not love??

I loved her. And I will love her until every star burns from the sky and every grain of sand erodes away.

I understand you, I really do. You should add me on MSN, if that's not too weird. If you reply I'll give you my address.

I loved her. And I will love her until every star burns from the sky and every grain of sand erodes away.

go find some other girl and watch yourself completely forget about it tried and tested strategy

And for Gods sakes don’t go about thinking this crap I say a good dose of self denial will go a long way that’s it lock it all away deep down where no one can see

What is age, really?? I know 32 year olds who act dumber than I do. Age is as meaningless as Race, merely another way for us to divide society. What is the difference between a 16 year old in love and a 32 year old in love?? The 32 year old thinks that the sixteen year old isnt really in love because they are too young to know what love is. But love is an emotion, and 16 year olds can feel anger, rage, happiness, sorrow, joy... Why not love??

I loved her. And I will love her until every star burns from the sky and every grain of sand erodes away.

Well the major differance is that at 16 your brain has not stopped growing nor developing, your emotions are high because of the changes happing to you.

You are correct you can feel rage, and happiness, sorrow and joy, and indeed love. But the strength of these feelings are not proportionte to the reality of the situation. In a 32 year old of course the brain is fully grown and developed(matured) and the feelings are based more in reality, in short a 32 year old feels no teenage angst.

You will of course 'growout of it' hehe even if you don't belive or want to. Like I said, realise that what you feel IS purley because of your age, go out and get drunk and maudlin with your mates, and find the next girl, because I don't that you have found your future 'the one' just yet, hehe I of course could be wrong, at least on that score!

I'm guessing she's a teenager, maybe this is her first relationship. I don't know. But it's not that simple. When I was in sixth-form college, I had a friend who was really shy. She wasn't happy with her boyfriend, but stuck with him for months because she was too scared to dump him. Some people just can't face difficult decisions.


Well, indeed, as a teenager...Yet, I bet you will agree that you need to grow up and learn to face such decisions. Actually, I think I did grow up learning to coup situations like these ones. Trying to escape using MSN is not a nice thing, and probably she will realize that is easier that way and will keep escaping for the rest of her life.

When I was a teen, we didn't have MSN :(

Maybe he was being too clingy. I don't know any sixteen year olds who want a serious relationship.


Congrats, you just met one.

Sure Knowyourright, MSN me up... Not too weird at all...

No, no you won't. That's why age matters, because you're full of hormones and not a whole lot of logic and perspective. You -will- get over her, fairly easily, unless you're an emo bastard who holds onto things like this for the expressed purpose of whining about it and getting attention.

Age is just a number. Seriously, if you considered yourself intelligent or in touch with the human condition at all, you'd understand this guy's situation.

Szanth, this is going to seem to be coming from nowhere... But are you a christian or catholic??

Nope, I'm a deist.

And I'm talking from bare experience with these situations. I used to be an emo bastard who went on like you do about girls that don't mean anything in the long run. Eventually I realized how silly I was being.

Age is just a number. Seriously, if you considered yourself intelligent or in touch with the human condition at all, you'd understand this guy's situation.

Age is a number, yes, and some people at age 15 are more mature than 30 year olds, but that doesn't keep this situation from being a stereotype that happens every day.

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

ok I dont want to belittle your decision, it could have been the right one, but when a girl dumps you like that and says can we still be friends, shes just trying to to clean her conscience. So its pretty selfish. Although ethically your response is quite pro active and if people only took this attitude to everything there would be no more wars.

Why should she stay in a relationship she doesn't want to, just because you would like to continue seeing her? I'm sorry, but what she wants for herself is more important than what you or anyone else wants. Just accept that she doesn't want a boyfriend, and try to remain friends seeing as you loved everything about her.

He could do that.

Or, he could tell her to right piss off. Things change when you realize how cruel and childish people can be. He should re-evaluate his feelings towards her and then decide whether to suck up pride, or to walk away.

You can never be good friends again.

You can be sociable to each other, but always in the back of your mind, your forever gonna think, "We had sex, we had sex, we had sex.." whenever you see each other.

Then, all the feelings you had when you broke up come back, and its not always easy to pretend like nothing happened and everything is peachy-keen between you.

Sad, but thats how it is.

That's not always true. I guess, when you really really LOVED the person, it's very hard to remain friends, but when it was more plantonic love to begin with, it's much easier.

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

Ouch mate.

That exact same thing happened to me- except without the can we still be friends part. My girlfriend of the time called me up all sweet and nice, asking me to come online. I came online, she copied and pasted a pre prepared speech, saying that she had been using me for my student loan, and that she had sold the ring and necklace that I had bought her (which cost over £450 together), and that she had had another boyfriend who KNEW of me, and who had been with her whilst she was talking to me, telling me she loved me, all the things we were going to do when I came to see her, then blocked me.

I came very close to jumping off a bridge over that harlet.

Love hurts like nothing else ever invented. However, I am still mates with a few ex girlfriends, but most definatly not the one in the incident described above.

What is age, really?? I know 32 year olds who act dumber than I do. Age is as meaningless as Race, merely another way for us to divide society. What is the difference between a 16 year old in love and a 32 year old in love?? The 32 year old thinks that the sixteen year old isnt really in love because they are too young to know what love is. But love is an emotion, and 16 year olds can feel anger, rage, happiness, sorrow, joy... Why not love??

I loved her. And I will love her until every star burns from the sky and every grain of sand erodes away.

:eek:

I really hope you didn't tell her all that, you probably scared her off. I agree that sixteen year olds can feel as much love as older people. But most schoolkids don't want to think about settling down and living with someone all their life. Next time you get a girlfriend, don't tell her you'll love her forever and you want to marry her and have children (or whatever crazy shit you've been saying). Just take things as they are, and see how things go.

Ohhhhh hand bags, and whats up with you then? And I hope that dictioanry remark was not takin the piss outa my spellin?

Oh, God.

wait if shes 16 you shouldnt have been courting her in the first place

This post makes me want to cry. I know I've unintentionally hurt people that I've loved in the past and it hurts more than anything I've felt.

I like you, just so you know. I think you always seem to express such...deep..thoughts...and...stuff.

wait if shes 16 you shouldnt have been courting her in the first place


Heheh courting, do people still say that? Man I love it!

wait if shes 16 you shouldnt have been courting her in the first place

He's 16 too.

Well the major differance is that at 16 your brain has not stopped growing nor developing, your emotions are high because of the changes happing to you.

You are correct you can feel rage, and happiness, sorrow and joy, and indeed love. But the strength of these feelings are not proportionte to the reality of the situation. In a 32 year old of course the brain is fully grown and developed(matured) and the feelings are based more in reality, in short a 32 year old feels no teenage angst.

You will of course 'growout of it' hehe even if you don't belive or want to. Like I said, realise that what you feel IS purley because of your age, go out and get drunk and maudlin with your mates, and find the next girl, because I don't that you have found your future 'the one' just yet, hehe I of course could be wrong, at least on that score!

It's funny because you haven't got the faintest clue about psychiatry.

Congrats, you just met one.

Sure Knowyourright, MSN me up... Not too weird at all...

My addy is ****@hotmail.com.

Age is a number, yes, and some people at age 15 are more mature than 30 year olds, but that doesn't keep this situation from being a stereotype that happens every day.

How many times did you contradict yourself in that sentence?

He's 16 too.



ah, I was skimming and saw 32, but in that case alls good and my former advice still holds

and yes courting, god I get criticized for my antiquarian overly wordy language, too much BBC does that to you.

:eek:

I really hope you didn't tell her all that, you probably scared her off. I agree that sixteen year olds can feel as much love as older people. But most schoolkids don't want to think about settling down and living with someone all their life. Next time you get a girlfriend, don't tell her you'll love her forever and you want to marry her and have children (or whatever crazy shit you've been saying). Just take things as they are, and see how things go.

I'm 17 and engaged. I've said it so many times: age is just a number.

It's funny because you haven't got the faintest clue about psychiatry.

Umm it's funny that may have summit to do with not being a psyciatrist!:eek:

I'm 17 and engaged. I've said it so many times: age is just a number.

So you don't then belive that there are fundemental differances in the brain of a 16 year old and the brain of a 32 year old?

My addy is <snip>.

I don't think I'd leave that up to long, if I were you. Unless you want randoms adding you. :p

That's not the only reason she broke up with me, And it was about the fourth reason she gave me. Besides, I'm a little skeptical about that sentence, as the last two times I've heard it, the people who gave it had a bf within two days.

People make up the reasons they drift apart in the same way they make up the reasons they get together. You're trying to quantify something that isn't reasoned, so your reasons are almost always bullshit.
This post makes me want to cry. I know I've unintentionally hurt people that I've loved in the past and it hurts more than anything I've felt.
It does, but it it would have hurt even more to not be truthful to them, to not let them free when they where barking up the wrong tree. You're not a horrible person, just a person. We can't help but bump into each other time and again.

And while it never seems like it, the cool is always longer and most times more intense than the suck.

Okay, think about it this way, though it doesn't actually demonstrate my point as well as it should-Log rides. You know the ones at carnivals and whatever where you ride the little boat around a track and eventually it drops you down a ramp into a pool where you get splashed? You know you're going to get splashed. You now you're going to walk around wet all day, and that anything it your pockets is ruined and everything else. You now it. But you totally stand in line, and you anticipate that drop the entire time, because the sucky wetness afterwards is totally worth the splash. You'll dry off. And eventually you're going to be sitting around and think, "Man, I want to go on the log ride again..."

I really hope you didn't tell her all that, you probably scared her off. I agree that sixteen year olds can feel as much love as older people. But most schoolkids don't want to think about settling down and living with someone all their life. Next time you get a girlfriend, don't tell her you'll love her forever and you want to marry her and have children (or whatever crazy shit you've been saying). Just take things as they are, and see how things go.

Oh god no. I'm not QUITE that stupid... Close, but not quite ;)

So you don't then belive that there are fundemental differances in the brain of a 16 year old and the brain of a 32 year old?

Physically, perhaps, but everything else is always relative to the person. People have different experiences. People have different levels of intelligence. My brother is 23, and I'm more "mature" than he is.

ah, I was skimming and saw 32, but in that case alls good and my former advice still holds

and yes courting, god I get criticized for my antiquarian overly wordy language, too much BBC does that to you.

I was not critasiing you, as i said I love it!

It does, but it it would have hurt even more to not be truthful to them, to let them free when they where barking up the wrong tree. You're not a horrible person, just a person. We can't help but bump into each other time and again.

And while it never seems like it, the cool is always longer and most times more intense than the suck.

Okay, think about it this way, though it doesn't actually demonstrate my point as well as it should-Log rides. You know the ones at carnivals and whatever where you ride the little boat around a track and eventually it drops you down a ramp into a pool where you get splashed? You know you're going to get splashed. You now you're going to walk around wet all day, and that anything it your pockets is ruined and everything else. You now it. But you totally stand in line, and you anticipate that drop the entire time, because the sucky wetness afterwards is totally worth the splash. You'll dry off. And eventually you're going to be sitting around and think, "Man, I want to go on the log ride again..."

I know you're right. You're too smart. :p

I'm 17 and engaged. I've said it so many times: age is just a number.

...and to think I went to all that effort of typing 'most' before I mentioned schoolkids.

Sure there are exceptions, but the mostly sixteen years olds don't want serious relationships. I'm twenty, and I don't. I have so much to do first, I've just started university. After that I'd like to get a good job, sort out my student loans. At that time I hope to be living with a guy I love. Maybe if things work out with him, I'll commit to spending the rest of my life with him.

I (and most people I know), don't want to consider a serious relationship until their mid-twentys at least.

Know, I dont think I copied your email right. Send a message to Victory-Radio@hotmail.com It's an old account I don't use anymore, so I'll just add you off that an leave it to rot again...

Oh god no. I'm not QUITE that stupid... Close, but not quite ;)

Just let things stand the test of time. Sixteen is a bit young for a serious relationship. Don't make promises that you'll be with someone forever, just see how things go. Maybe if you do this with a girlfriend, you'll still be happily together when you're an older, working man.

Physically, perhaps, but everything else is always relative to the person. People have different experiences. People have different levels of intelligence. My brother is 23, and I'm more "mature" than he is.

Good and it is this phyiscal differance that I talk about. For the record, I got married at 21 my wife was 18, I actualy do know what it is I talk about. I agree a lot in life is subjective, but the effects of these physical differances in the brain of an adult vs that of a teenagers is not something that I have just made up, but is a known quantafiable subject.

Good and it is this phyiscal differance that I talk about. For the record, I got married at 21 my wife was 18, I actualy do know what it is I talk about. I agree a lot in life is subjective, but the effects of these physical differances in the brain of an adult vs that of a teenagers is not something that I have just made up, but is a known quantafiable subject.

Fair enough. :)

Fair enough. :)

Fair doo's then.:)

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??
Well, see, I only date guys who have maturity levels above that of a middle-school student. Guys like that are capable of understanding that sometimes two people don't work as a couple, but they can be very good friends.

I am still on good terms with all my former lovers, both male and female, and I consider all of them to be my friends. It's not difficult, provided you make sure that you're only dating cool people. :)

you know I really did mean that once when I broke up with a guy, I really liked him, but I just didn't see the dating relationship ending up anywhere good, I liked him as a person enough that I really did want to be his friend, but I just didn't want to string him along with no hope for anything else with him ever working out.

She's just keeping you around on the backburner for a pick-me-up "you're pretty" when she's arguing with her new boyfriend. Or, if they break up, so she doesn't have to go without sex. You're in the boyfriend reserves. Don't put up with it. Tell her that you liked her personality until she broke up with you; you won't have to deal with her complaining because you aren't dating anymore.

She's just keeping you around on the backburner for a pick-me-up "you're pretty" when she's arguing with her new boyfriend. Or, if they break up, so she doesn't have to go without sex. You're in the boyfriend reserves. Don't put up with it. Tell her that you liked her personality until she broke up with you; you won't have to deal with her complaining because you aren't dating anymore.
Why would you date a girl like that in the first place?

Honestly, fellows, have a little dignity. Don't waste time dating girls who you don't like enough to have as friends. Or at least, if you choose to do so, don't turn around and whine when they treat you like shit, because you're getting exactly what you asked for.

Why would you date a girl like that in the first place?

Honestly, fellows, have a little dignity. Don't waste time dating girls who you don't like enough to have as friends. Or at least, if you choose to do so, don't turn around and whine when they treat you like shit, because you're getting exactly what you asked for.

Don't accuse me! I didn't date her.

I am close friends with a few of my ex-girlfriends. Simply put, I only date women I can get along with as friends. If we cannot be good friends, why would I bother dating them? No sex is that good, but even if it were, you cannot spend all your time in bed. If you can enjoy being with them platonically, then why not be friends?

I’m even having dinner with an old friend tonight. Before we broke up we were talking about getting engaged; these days we are very close friends (though we don’t sleep together) and everything is great. What made our relationship so much fun is exactly what makes our friendship so much fun – our personalities match up pretty well. We still love each other, but in a far more mature manner – we want each other to have the best life possible, which we know is not to be married to each other (though in a poly marriage… but she wouldn’t go for that).

The emotional issues you will grow out of – unless you have serious trouble letting go, in which case please seek therapy now!

Do not be so obsessed. If she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, then that is what is best for her – if you did actually love her you would want what is best for her, even if that means just being friends. If however, you do not actually love her but are just obsessed with the whole teenage crap then you want to be possessive and want her to date you even though it doesn’t make her happy.

Move on. Get over it. Let go of the obsession and just get a grip on your priorities.

The best thing for you to do (in my opinion – but they don’t call me ‘Oh wise Ed’ for nothing) is to just look for some good friends. Do not date seriously for a couple more years. A good close friend can give you just as much emotional fulfillment and tends to be far more stable long-term. I would gladly give up on ever having a girlfriend or wife in exchange for a couple of really close friends.

Sure- I can still be friends with ex-girlfriends.
Blowjob friends.

I have an ex that means the world to me, who is one of my closest friends today. In theory, I see no problem with being friends after the relationship has ended.
However, it doesn't always work out that way. After my last relationship my ex and I agreed to remain friends and keep doing stuff together and such. We haven't really talked since that day and some things has happened that makes it unlikely for us to ever be friends again. Sad story, really...

You can never be good friends again.

You can be sociable to each other, but always in the back of your mind, your forever gonna think, "We had sex, we had sex, we had sex.." whenever you see each other.

Then, all the feelings you had when you broke up come back, and its not always easy to pretend like nothing happened and everything is peachy-keen between you.

Sad, but thats how it is.

Maybe for you, but not for everyone. One of my exes (with whom I had a terrible, messy breakup) is now one of my best friends - we didn't talk much for a couple of years after we broke up, but we gradually got back to hanging out, and now are very close again. We're both frank about the fact that we still find the other person attractive, and we both agree that acting on that attraction would be a colossally stupid idea, and that's that.

Just reading this thread ot me singing Makeout Kids :p

There are young people who are stable and smart enough to hold together long-term relationships. I've known people who really are crazy have relationships lasting a year. And believe me there was love there.

But in the end we're young and when it goes to hell we feel awful. My relationship lasted maybe 2 months (I'm 18 BTW) and I was settling in for a long-term thing when it all crashed through. Took me a month and a half to get over it and I felt crap every second of it. Even started getting drunk over it (retarded I know but in a foreign country where the drinks are cheap it's easy t do...).

But it's over. Like everyone else* I've moved on, got used to it, gone back to being 'just friends'. It's not nearly as fun and I know next time we meet it's gonna be a bit awkward (we live a fair way apart and between the new school year and finance issues, the will to meet up hasn;t been there) but life goes on, she'll find a new guy, I'll find a new girl.

*the exception being the one who always dates the ones who go psycho on him...

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??If you've just been dumped, I can understand why the "let's just be friends" line seems like a slap in the face to you. Let time pass, maybe it won't feel as harsh then.

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwards, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

:fluffle:

Not if you dumped him on MSN!

In other situations, it might be reasonable to hope that eventually you will transition to friendship

Actually, I am dealing with something similar. After a month of only very tense conversations, my ex-crush IMed me to try and make small talk. And all I could think was "why are you talking to me?!?" It was very stressful. Oh well. But, yeah, so its not just girls who do it.

I'm sorry for you tho. Hope you feel better :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

If you care about her as much as you say you do, then wouldn't you want to be friends with her anyway? I'm friends with nearly all my exes because we cared enough about each other to make the effort to maintain a friendship. Sure it can be a little weird at first, and it's possible for it to cause a lot of heartache, but in the end what matters is that you've managed to keep a person in your life that you honestly care for. It's been worth the effort for me.

Dumping you on MSN was a crappy thing to do though.

:fluffle:

Not if you dumped him on MSN!

In other situations, it might be reasonable to hope that eventually you will transition to friendship

Actually, I am dealing with something similar. After a month of only very tense conversations, my ex-crush IMed me to try and make small talk. And all I could think was "why are you talking to me?!?" It was very stressful. Oh well. But, yeah, so its not just girls who do it.

I'm sorry for you tho. Hope you feel better :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Well if there is one good thing came out of this I got my first NS fluffle. :( It doesen't seem to help though.

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams.
The girl of your dreams will only ever be ... in your dreams. (Sorry, but as I've only just had pointed out to me, I'm in a filthy mood.)

On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

If you've been dumped on MSN, but could make physical contact, I suggest something foolish and romantic. If you're a muso, serenade her with something brand new and heartfelt, at 120 Db. If you've got a hot car, park it across the street and set it on fire. But if you're a pathetic boofhead like me, without musical talent or decent wheels, write "I love you forever" on her front lawn with shaving cream. You will probably need more than one can.
EDIT: A bit of hosing-down will deal with the shaving cream ... but a coupla weeks later, the grass dies where it was. Mwwhhahaha!

If you've fallen in love with a girl you've never met IRL: I have no advice for you.

I don't give bad advice because I'm stupid, or evil. I do it because IT'S MY RELIGION.

I'm more the "Hopelessly romantic" Type. I've already tried quoting Shakespeare and writing poems to her. Neither helped much. And when I'm around her now her vocabulary is restricted to "Sorry. Are you ok? I'm sorry." Much as I would love to tell her how ok I am, such language would be a little too colourful...

I've just been dumped, by the girl of my dreams. On MSN. Now that's low. AND, Afterwoods, I get the "You're a nice guy though, can we still be friends??" Message. Of course, I was all like "Yeah, of course" Because I diden't want to offend her. But ladies of NS, how can you possibly expect ANY guy to want to be your friend after dumping him??

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/derek45/funny/not_this_shit_again.jpg

You can never be good friends again.

You can be sociable to each other, but always in the back of your mind, your forever gonna think, "We had sex, we had sex, we had sex.." whenever you see each other.

Then, all the feelings you had when you broke up come back, and its not always easy to pretend like nothing happened and everything is peachy-keen between you.

Sad, but thats how it is.


That's not entirely true. I'm friends with most of my ex-girlfriends. In fact, I'm quite good friends with one of them and her fiance. Of course, we've been "split up" for 7 years or so. It just takes time, but he'll get over it.

Szanth, this is going to seem to be coming from nowhere... But are you a christian or catholic??

Question: Where do people get the idea that Catholics aren't Christian? It boggles my mind.

*"Aw jeez not this shit again" image snip*

Quoted for emphasis.

I'm more the "Hopelessly romantic" Type. I've already tried quoting Shakespeare and writing poems to her. Neither helped much. And when I'm around her now her vocabulary is restricted to "Sorry. Are you ok? I'm sorry." Much as I would love to tell her how ok I am, such language would be a little too colourful...

All of that is a rather bad idea. If she says it's over, it's over. If she wants to come back to you, she will. You trying your damnedest to get her back is only going to creep her out and drive her away. The best thing is to be supportive of her and be her friend, even if you don't feel like it. Eventually she'll either come back to you or you'll get over it.

Women punish men for a lack of communication during the relationship, by blatantly lying to them, and then denying it. Perferably with friends to witness it.

Whereas men punish women for a lack of communication during the relationship, by turning up drunk in the dead of night, determined to communicate.

The first is beastly, and damaging to the reputation. The second is a crime, and very damaging to the reputation.

Listen to Tom Leykis you fool!