NationStates Jolt Archive


Man attacks Bear!

Lunatic Goofballs
20-09-2006, 22:41
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14922482/?GT1=8506

"...all of a sudden, I wake up and some drunk guy is poking me! I bite his leg just to get him the hell away from me and he kicks me! Well, now I'm really pissed. I bite his other leg and the guy jumps on me and we scuffle for a while the next thing I know, the dude is biting ME on my back! I might need shots! ..." -Panda's perspective. :p
Utracia
20-09-2006, 22:44
The dude should treat pandas with more respect. Now this drunk has ruined the reputation of humans to the panda community. :(
IL Ruffino
20-09-2006, 22:45
Best op ever!
Londim
20-09-2006, 22:47
Damn those drunks. Never can get enough of that Panda. This is all they need to start a revolution against the humans, joined by there bear brothers!We're doomed! :eek:
Carnivorous Lickers
20-09-2006, 22:47
The guys a little dim and the beer doesnt help.

Do people ever wonder why its hard to get access to animals at the zoo? I'm always amazed at the tards that defeat fences and moats.

By the way- why do they have to label the guy a "migrant worker" ? Wh yisnt he just a man? I'm not sure why that distinction is made.
Philosopy
20-09-2006, 22:50
Grumble, grumble:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=500389

Never mind. You tell stories of drunken panda fights much better than I do. :p
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
20-09-2006, 22:50
By the way- why do they have to label the guy a "migrant worker" ? Wh yisnt he just a man? I'm not sure why that distinction is made.
You might as well ask why they specify that he is man, isn't saying that he was a Human enough?
Carnivorous Lickers
20-09-2006, 22:55
You might as well ask why they specify that he is man, isn't saying that he was a Human enough?

True-but if they simply said "a person" took part in this stupidity, it would leave the average person reasonably wondering if it were a male or female person.

It took place in Bejiing,China. The guy is chinese. I dont know why they had to name him a migrant worker. Maybe if he were from South Korea and they said "a migrant worker form South Korea" it would make more sense.
Lunatic Goofballs
21-09-2006, 00:12
True-but if they simply said "a person" took part in this stupidity, it would leave the average person reasonably wondering if it were a male or female person.

It took place in Bejiing,China. The guy is chinese. I dont know why they had to name him a migrant worker. Maybe if he were from South Korea and they said "a migrant worker form South Korea" it would make more sense.

Hey! Stop trying to give my frivolous thread substance! :mad:
Utracia
21-09-2006, 01:00
Hey! Stop trying to give my frivolous thread substance! :mad:

Substance? I see no substance.

*gazes innocently*
Dontgonearthere
21-09-2006, 01:17
nvm
German Nightmare
21-09-2006, 01:32
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/stephen%20colbert%20steven%20colbert.jpg
Lunatic Goofballs
21-09-2006, 02:20
Substance? I see no substance.

*gazes innocently*

Yes, well he tried.

I may have to sic a panda on him.
Liberated New Ireland
21-09-2006, 02:24
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/stephen%20colbert%20steven%20colbert.jpg

rofl.
New Stalinberg
21-09-2006, 02:24
Haha.
Swilatia
21-09-2006, 02:30
whatev.
German Nightmare
21-09-2006, 03:01
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Colbear.jpg
Kyronea
21-09-2006, 03:29
...

Um...aren't pandas more of a raccoon type animal than a bear? Or am I thinking Koalas?
German Nightmare
21-09-2006, 04:29
...

Um...aren't pandas more of a raccoon type animal than a bear? Or am I thinking Koalas?

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/animalbytes/images/giant_panda_eating_inset.jpghttp://www.thekoala.com/koala/koimages/ko-header111.jpg
Panda (<- this be the one)____________Koala
bearsized
http://www.sch.im/wlp/large%20images/red%20panda.jpg
Red Panda
raccoon-sized

(scientists still argue whether these are closer related to giant panda bears or raccoons.)
JiangGuo
21-09-2006, 08:53
Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.

Four jugs and he's out-of-it. Chinese migrant workers sure don't hold their liquor.
Manfigurut
21-09-2006, 09:10
Haha I saw that in the newspaper. :D

The panda didn't get hurt, but the man sure did!
Pablicosta
21-09-2006, 09:53
I want the CCTV tapes.
Sonaj
21-09-2006, 10:28
(scientists still argue whether these are closer related to giant panda bears or raccoons.)
Either way, they look fluffly.
Pablicosta
21-09-2006, 10:38
Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.

Four jugs and he's out-of-it. Chinese migrant workers sure don't hold their liquor.

Where I come from, 'four jugs' equates to arround 12 Pints, I know for a fact that would put most men on the floor.
Nobel Hobos
21-09-2006, 11:40
Pandas are damn cute, for sure ...
but invading their compound to play with them?
“We’re not considering punishing him now,” Ye said in a telephone interview. “He’s suffered quite a bit of shock.”

Whereas the drunk guy has learnt his lesson, being publicly exposed as "a drunken migrant worker."

He's a home invader, I tell you! He assaulted a sleeping panda, in their own home! 25 years, with hard labour. If he was Chinese, he'd probably die for it.

Pandas are endangered. The captive ones are a major Chinese asset and that pissed boofhead is in serious trouble. Stuff him.
BackwoodsSquatches
21-09-2006, 11:56
Im tired of innocent drunkards being assualted by terrorist pandas!

Its always the cute animals that bully the stupid, and the drunkardly.
That panda should have gotten the beating of its large fat and furry life.
Why, if I had been there, I would have kicked that stupid panda in the nuts!

Id be like, "Hey..why dont you get your bitch panda ass in the kitchen and make me a bamboo pie, panda bitch!"

Shit, yah.
Nobel Hobos
21-09-2006, 12:22
Im tired of innocent drunkards being assualted by terrorist pandas!

Its always the cute animals that bully the stupid, and the drunkardly.
That panda should have gotten the beating of its large fat and furry life.
Why, if I had been there, I would have kicked that stupid panda in the nuts!
There's a lot of panda, and not much nuts. Perhaps that's what your drunken protagonist tried to do!

Id be like, "Hey..why dont you get your bitch panda ass in the kitchen and make me a bamboo pie, panda bitch!"

Shit, yah.
The foreign terrorist screaming at the panda, translated as "are you dog panda behind the kitchen, hiding in the dog bamboo?" would have played big on Chinese television, huh? :)
BackwoodsSquatches
21-09-2006, 12:47
There's a lot of panda, and not much nuts. Perhaps that's what your drunken protagonist tried to do!

Calling that man a drunken protagonist may be entirely true, but truth cant buy you boiled peanuts!
That POOR misunderstood man was a target of Panda Aggression!

How many more must suffer at the hands of these black and white furry terrorists?


The foreign terrorist screaming at the panda, translated as "are you dog panda behind the kitchen, hiding in the dog bamboo?" would have played big on Chinese television, huh? :)

Dog Bamboo Hiders!

All of em!!
Nobel Hobos
21-09-2006, 13:55
Tigers and snakes and bats are learning all our weaknesses, and training for the day they get to kill all us freedom-loving humans!

Yes, I'm talking about Zoos! They're terrorist training camps, I tell you! We should kill them all, instead of pandaing to their pathetic whiney "animal-rights" nonsense.

The day we let them loose, they'll start hijacking space shuttles and putting nasty stuff in our water-supply. You see if I'm wrong.

And even if (huh!) I am wrong about the zoos, what about all those Wild Animals out there?? They aren't called "wild" for nothing: they're a real menace!! For instance, what about Elephants. Asian Elephants or African, the fact is they're capable of Mass Destruction. Imagine one of them, in the midst of the Mardi Gras or the Running of the Bulls.
Not to mention all the venomous creatures! Snakes, stingrays, spiders and snakes have refused to give up their weapons, weapons which can have no possible use but the taking of human life.

Waiter!!
BackwoodsSquatches
21-09-2006, 13:56
Tigers and snakes and bats are learning all our weaknesses, and training for the day they get to kill all us freedom-loving humans!

Yes, I'm talking about Zoos! They're terrorist training camps, I tell you! We should kill them all, instead of pandaing to their pathetic whiney "animal-rights" nonsense.

The day we let them loose, they'll start hijacking space shuttles and putting nasty stuff in our water-supply. You see if I'm wrong.

And even if (huh!) I am wrong about the zoos, what about all those Wild Animals out there?? They aren't called "wild" for nothing: they're a real menace!! For instance, what about Elephants. Asian Elephants or African, the fact is they're capable of Mass Destruction. Imagine one of them, in the midst of the Mardi Gras or the Running of the Bulls.
Not to mention all the venomous creatures! Snakes, stingrays, spiders and snakes have refused to give up their weapons, weapons which can have no possible use but the taking of human life.

Waiter!!

You see!

Nature must be stopped, before it destroys us all!
Jeruselem
21-09-2006, 14:05
Chinese make very bad drunks - they get sloshed far too easily.