NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, my band has finally recorded something. Of course, its very rough- Our lead guitarist oves to completely change songs between band meets, and try to tell me what to do, but meh. I only had two chances to record, and the first one was fucked up because I hadn't done the whole song in one go in its current form, and fucked up the transition. The second one kinda sucks too, because i was focused on making the transition.

Anyways, you can hear it at www.myspace.com/mog06

Comments?

Sounds okay.
Is it supposed to be that depressing? Because I could've done for something more cheerful... ;)

Too vocal-centric for my taste. *shrugs*

Honestly?

It would be a haunting little number, but the vocals kinda ruin it.
Your singer isnt very good.

Bring the drums up some, too.

Keep recording.

if my sound wasn't broken on this thing, i'd give it a listen :(

Wasn't too bad, little bit short though and a bit of volume wouldn't go astray. Otherwise I quite like it.

By the by, I'm the singer.

*slits wrists* can’t you be more er positive?

More drums are needed.

And cowbell. You can't have enough cowbell.

And cowbell. You can't have enough cowbell.

Never, I need to hear more cowbell people, that gives the song body and musicality!

It would be a haunting little number, but the vocals kinda ruin it.
Your singer isnt very good.

By the by, I'm the singer.
*Embarrassed silence*

:p

By the by, I'm the singer.

You're singing flat and out of time quite a bit, and the excessive amount of delay/reverb isn't helping, it is just making everything sound muddy and ill-defined. A de-esser wouldn't go amiss either, particularly when it comes to the word 'ecstacy'. Singing at a louder volume and then pulling the level down in the mix sounds like it might help a touch too.

Other then that, the music starts off quite well, but then goes starts missing the beat when you get to the 'when we first met' line. When it comes to the guitar lead lines everything keeps wandering out of time at the end too. The drums when audible sound rubbish. Re-EQ them and crank them in the mix so as to give at least something to hold the piece together. Similarly for the bass, if there is indeed one, I can't really make it out. Concentrate on the rhythm section so as to give more solidity and meat to song: keys and guitars are just icing on the cake, and shouldn't really be the focus of a recording like this.

Having said that, I did quite like the start of the piece, expecting something a bit Slint-esque.

Hey ho. Keep trying. Keep practicising.

How did you record it?

EDIT: on relisten, it is out of time right from the get-go. Have you considered getting your drummer to use a click track or even a metronome? The keys make it sound like you are aiming for mid-80's power ballads. The end of it also sounds like the lead guitarist has been overdubbing and has messed up counting bars, thus leading to the rather extraneous line at the end and vapid ending.

I don't think it's so much that the vocals aren't very good - i've heard worse, but admittedly they're not my usual preferred style, so I can't really comment beyond that. But as i said before, the vocal-centric nature of the song is what gets me - granted, you might not have the best recording setup going to really carry the instrumental work across properly, but I think that track would be a bit better with more rhythm - the first 20 seconds or so were a promising intro, but it doesn't really move very far beyond that. If you're trying to convey a melancholic atmosphere, i'd argue that it's a must, since that's what'll make you stand out from the crowd, and add a more length and feeling to your songs - a slow drum beat and bassline for a minute or so without lyrics as a prechorus might well make the song more interesting to listen to.

I'm speaking as a guitarist though, so my opinion is perhaps biased away from vocals.

Other comments -

the random chord strumming at about 1:05 seems out of place. Get rid of it or replace it with something a bit more subtle.

The "solo" at 1:45 sounds weird - generally, and in context of the overall song. Slow it down, or maybe even better, throw it out altogether.

The random effect at the close of the song - no, just no. Doesn't fit the music. A gentle fadeout would be much better.

I don't think it's so much that the vocals aren't very good - i've heard worse, but admittedly they're not my usual preferred style, so I can't really comment beyond that.

Do they not sound flat to you, and frequently out of time (although what they are meant to be keeping time with after the first 20 seconds is unclear)?

Here's my advice

Listen to some Johnny Cash *nods*.

Do they not sound flat to you, and frequently out of time (although what they are meant to be keeping time with after the first 20 seconds is unclear)?

Yeah, i'll agree with that.

The guitarist seems to miss his timing, and then rush the last few notes in a vain attempt at keeping time. You need more rehersals - not just playing seperately (someone who is an amazing solo player might suck in a band) - but playing together, on time.

More drums are needed.

Yeah, the drums were computer generated, so kinda half-heartedly done. Our drummer was there, but without his drums. I didn't really want to record, especially with such little time to work on it, but they were dead-set on it, and said they loved the vocals. I knew people would call me on them.

The guitarist seems to miss his timing, and then rush the last few notes in a vain attempt at keeping time. You need more rehersals - not just playing seperately (someone who is an amazing solo player might suck in a band) - but playing together, on time.

What he said. Loose playing can make even the best song sound terrible and the timing was quite a way out on that recording.

All criticism offered is offered in the spirit of constructive criticism and should not in any way be taken as an attempt to dissuade you from continuing to make and record music. I'm pretty darn sure all of us musicians and failed musicians on this thread could drag out much worse recordings from our secret archives.

How was it recorded? Live? Onto computer? 4-track? (It has a vaguely four track sound, but I might just be mistaking the persistant hiss for tape noise)

You're singing flat and out of time quite a bit, and the excessive amount of delay/reverb isn't helping, it is just making everything sound muddy and ill-defined. A de-esser wouldn't go amiss either, particularly when it comes to the word 'ecstacy'. Singing at a louder volume and then pulling the level down in the mix sounds like it might help a touch too.

Other then that, the music starts off quite well, but then goes starts missing the beat when you get to the 'when we first met' line. When it comes to the guitar lead lines everything keeps wandering out of time at the end too. The drums when audible sound rubbish. Re-EQ them and crank them in the mix so as to give at least something to hold the piece together. Similarly for the bass, if there is indeed one, I can't really make it out. Concentrate on the rhythm section so as to give more solidity and meat to song: keys and guitars are just icing on the cake, and shouldn't really be the focus of a recording like this.

Having said that, I did quite like the start of the piece, expecting something a bit Slint-esque.

Hey ho. Keep trying. Keep practicising.

How did you record it?

EDIT: on relisten, it is out of time right from the get-go. Have you considered getting your drummer to use a click track or even a metronome? The keys make it sound like you are aiming for mid-80's power ballads. The end of it also sounds like the lead guitarist has been overdubbing and has messed up counting bars, thus leading to the rather extraneous line at the end and vapid ending.

You basically hit it on the head. The lead guitarist decided to change the whole song pretty much between band meets, fucking with my timing for the singing, and forcing me to come up with something completely new for the "when we first met" part. The lyrics had been standing, but the whole tone was different. It was much like the part before it, though both were also a bit faster, and in much better time.

Like I said in another post, the drums were computer generated, our drummer didn't have his set in the trailer.

We recorded it in a tiny room in a trailer, with a computer mic. They were steadfast on recording it, so I figured I would post it here to get whatever critisisms.

We recorded it in a tiny room in a trailer, with a computer mic. They were steadfast on recording it, so I figured I would post it here to get whatever critisisms.

Eeek. Okay for recording practice sessions or making a note of ideas, but buying one single half-decent mic and a bottom of the line mixer would vastly improve the quality of future recordings and actually allow some of the low end to be heard. An SM58 and a basic Behringer desk would set you back about $100 dollars: a far from an ideal recording set-up, even then, but a start towards something at least (of course, begging, stealing* or borrowing said items would work out cheaper). Even with just those pieces of kit and a free-ware multitrack program on a computer you would have the ability to lay down basic rhythm tracks and then make sure that everything else stays in time with them.




* and I quote, 'the bitter comes out better on a stolen guitar'

All criticism offered is offered in the spirit of constructive criticism and should not in any way be taken as an attempt to dissuade you from continuing to make and record music. I'm pretty darn sure all of us musicians and failed musicians on this thread could drag out much worse recordings from our secret archives.

How was it recorded? Live? Onto computer? 4-track? (It has a vaguely four track sound, but I might just be mistaking the persistant hiss for tape noise)

Ohh, don't get me wrong. I love the criticism. I'm one of the few vocalists who like criticism, as I know I'm not great. I'm usually fairly good once I have something down, like I had the song down very well.

It was recorded through a computer mic, in a tiny room in a trailer home. They played and recorded the instruments, then had me sing afterward, listening to a very low playing version of the instruments, as fed back through the computer.

Hardly well done, and needless to say, I told them that posting a recording this early would be a bad idea.

Ohh, and thats not the whole song, by the way. If you want an idea of how it was before the recent changes, this is how it went(and it will be close when the song is finished).

I see you breath, and wonder why,
You sit and tell me that you want to die,
I'm staring at this wall again,
Don't let me see you fall again

Your blackened ecstacy

When we first met, I hardly knew,
That I would be missing you,
We tried so hard, to make it last,
Why did it end so fast?

Your blackened ecstacy

(instrumental section)

I see you breath, and wonder why,
You sit and tell me that you want to die,
I'm staring at this wall again,
Don't let me see you fall again

Your blackened ecstacy

I told you once, I can't be told,
that you are feeling all alone,
my shattered trust, leaves you gone,
where did we go wrong?

(Key and tempo change)
Your blackened ecstacy

You said you loved me
/But you didn't mention the pain/
You tried to tell me
/But you emphasised the gain/
I hope your happy
/What remains/

The song itself, lyrics mostly, seems too generic. Be more adventurous with your lyrics, make an attempt to be deep.

Eeek. Okay for recording practice sessions or making a note of ideas, but buying one single half-decent mic and a bottom of the line mixer would vastly improve the quality of future recordings and actually allow some of the low end to be heard. An SM58 and a basic Behringer desk would set you back about $100 dollars: a far from an ideal recording set-up, even then, but a start towards something at least (of course, begging, stealing* or borrowing said items would work out cheaper). Even with just those pieces of kit and a free-ware multitrack program on a computer you would have the ability to lay down basic rhythm tracks and then make sure that everything else stays in time with them.




* and I quote, 'the bitter comes out better on a stolen guitar'

Well, the lead guitarist who recorded it, does have a lot of software for it. One of those guys who has guitar pro, Q base, and all that other stuff. The recording program seemed pretty nice. Just the hardware was crap :P

The song itself, lyrics mostly, seems too generic. Be more adventurous with your lyrics, make an attempt to be deep.

Geh. Its meant to be fairly generic. Fairly easy to understand, etc. And they work good with what the song is supposed to represent.

Deeper lyrics will probably come about when we start writing more songs, heavier metal songs, etc.

Geh. Its meant to be fairly generic. Fairly easy to understand, etc. And they work good with what the song is supposed to represent.

Deeper lyrics will probably come about when we start writing more songs, heavier metal songs, etc.

S'okay, I've been spoiled so I might be biased. If I may suggest a source to look to when thinking of how to write deep lyrics, look to TooL and APC. Maynard James Keenan in general, brilliant man.

EDIT: On a completely unrelated note, I went from being a "pimp" to a "CyberSheep Farmer". Go progress. ^^