NationStates Jolt Archive

Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win a fight between a bear and a shark?

Show your work.

the bear, sharks are lazy and stupid, bears have strategy.

The sparrow.

No one ever suspects the sparrow.

The sparrow.

No one ever suspects the sparrow.

what type of sparrow?

What species of shark and bear are we talking here?

Great White pwns grizzly.

Any bear pwns red-tailed shark.

the shark, bears are lazy and stupid, sharks have strategy.

Edited for TRUTH ;)

What species of shark and bear are we talking here?

Great White pwns grizzly.

Any bear pwns red-tailed shark.

A standard Great White Shark, and a standard North American Grizzly.

Show your work, people...

I feel SHAOLIN9 has a good point - basking shark versus panda might be fairly dull...

However standard grizzly vs average great white... well I bet on the shark. First of all the bear is in water up to its waist and so therefore is having to attack into the water and secondly the shark can piss off out to sea and then attack with awesome speed with some element of surprise. So the shark is attacking and the bear is defending. Dead bear unless it gets lucky

Edited for truthiness;)

Ah, now that's better.

Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win a fight between a bear and a shark?

Show your work.

Computation:

Bear win: x>0
Shark Win: x<0
Tie: x=0

(x-3)^2-(x^2-6x+8)
--------
x-x
____________________
1/0

DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR!

*Self-destruct*
5

4

3

2

1

BOOM!
)()()()()()()()()()()()(

The reason it turned out undefined?

A shark and a bear can never meet on an equal terrain.

what type of sparrow?

African.

A standard Great White Shark, and a standard North American Grizzly.

Show your work, people...

Don't bears normally hunt fish, and not too many fish hunt bears. So I would say the bear would have it more in him to win over the shark. The Survival Handbook says if a shark attack you to bonk it in the nose - uh, hope never to be in a situation to try that one out - but if it's true, I think a grizzly could do a good deal of shark bonking.

Although, if it were a sneak attack by the great white in the right place, that might work. Although, I'm not sure how high a shark would be able to jump out of the water to attack the bear in the right place.

Shark would win. They have laser beams. :D

The sparrow.

No one ever suspects the sparrow.

Laden or unladen?:p

Paxomenia;11704257']I feel SHAOLIN9 has a good point - basking shark versus panda might be fairly dull...

However standard grizzly vs average great white... well I bet on the shark. First of all the bear is in water up to its waist and so therefore is having to attack into the water and secondly the shark can piss off out to sea and then attack with awesome speed with some element of surprise. So the shark is attacking and the bear is defending. Dead bear unless it gets lucky

Woo-hoo! Great White Pwns! (and someone said I have a good point! That's a first:D ).

Ah, now that's better.
*LOL*

Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win a fight between a bear and a shark?

Show your work.


What kind of bear? Which species of shark? A great white shark would require 5 or 6 feet of water to maneuver well and I don't think any bear would be able to fight well in that much water. Still, I think the shark would win. Bear tries to maul shark, shark bites off bear's paws.

A shark is just an overly large salmon to a bear. Since bears love salmon and sharks never encounter bears the fight would go something like this.

Shark: "What the hell is that big fuzzy thing?"
Bear: "Wow, I've never seen a fish dinner that big before" *eats shark*

I think a grizzly could do a good deal of shark bonking.


That's a whole other thread entirely! :eek:

Laden or unladen?:p
I really should point out that any relationship between my post and Monty Python was entirely coincidental. :p

I really should point out that any relationship between my post and Monty Python was entirely coincidental. :p

Quit killing the humour already! :D

Although, I'm not sure how high a shark would be able to jump out of the water to attack the bear in the right place.
It's a level playing field. Just picture a grizzly catching fish in a river -- that has a shark in it.

Shark would win. They have laser beams. :D
http://uncyclopedia.org/images/8/88/Sharks.jpg :)

Laden or unladen?:p
That's a swallow. A SWALLOW.

What kind of bear? Which species of shark? A great white shark would require 5 or 6 feet of water to maneuver well and I don't think any bear would be able to fight well in that much water. Still, I think the shark would win. Bear tries to maul shark, shark bites off bear's paws.
Already been stated: Great White vs. Grizzly.

The weigh in
Grizzly
Weight: Females reach their maximum weight of 270 to 770 pounds in 8 years. Males reach their maximum weight of 330 to 1150 pounds in 12 years. The heavier a female is the better are her chances of having cubs. The heavier a male is the better chance he has of successfully breeding with a female. Males are 1.2 to 2.2 times as heavy as females.


Shark
Great whites average 12-16 feet long (3.7-4.9 m) long. The biggest great white shark on record was 23 feet (7 m) long, weighing about 7,000 pounds (3200 kg). Females are larger than males, as with most sharks.

It's a level playing field. Just picture a grizzly catching fish in a river -- that has a shark in it.

That's a swallow. A SWALLOW.

Good edit there!

Wouldn't really work as a level playing field, great white needs too deep water for the bear to maneuveur as efficiently as you say. Therefore Bear=sharkbait.

Paxomenia;11704257']I feel SHAOLIN9 has a good point - basking shark versus panda might be fairly dull...

Just had to reiterate that statement:D

Anyhow, I'm sure the Giant panda isn't a bear. It's a member of the raccoon family if I remember rightly.

Well, a level playing field wouldn't really work, as somebody mentioned, Great Whites need a fair bit of depth to the water, a grizzly wouldnt be able to stand in that.

Though if somehow it happened, Great Whites can jump quite a good distance out of the water and it could in effect flatten a bear if it so chose, or just jump and bite it. The grizzly wouldn't stand a chance.

If it was a baby shark then the grizzly might stand a chance.

ok a basking shark versus rupert the bear - Let's get ready to bumble!

the great white shark would kill the grizzly bear.

while the bear is a fearsome predator, it would have NO idea that danger lurked in the water, allowing the shark to "sneak up" on him and get a good big bite before the bear could react.

the bear wouldnt have the leverage to toss the shark up onto the bank or to even shake the skark off whatever limb the shark grabbed onto. unless the shark took a great big bite out of the bears abdomen...

without preparation the bear is doomed.

It really depends on how hungry the shark is and/or whether the bear is bleeding. Each has potential to kill the other if they are first to strike.

Just had to reiterate that statement:D

Anyhow, I'm sure the Giant panda isn't a bear. It's a member of the raccoon family if I remember rightly.

The lesser panda is a member of the raccoon family. Even looks like a raccoon.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&q=lesser+panda&btnG=Search

The greater panda, I'm pretty sure, is a bear.

It says bear on the damn label (eat, shoots and leaves)!!

I'm going with the shark no matter even if it's in a puddle!

They are devious.
http://home.maine.rr.com/waassaap/Forum%20Pictures/owned10.jpg

Paxomenia;11704392']It says bear on the damn label (eat, shoots and leaves)!!

I love that joke.
It also says "large bear-like member of the raccoon family, hails from China, eats shoots an leaves".

In the version I heard anyhow:p

The lesser panda is a member of the raccoon family. Even looks like a raccoon.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&q=lesser+panda&btnG=Search

The greater panda, I'm pretty sure, is a bear.

I'm not so certain - I wanna see proof dammit!

EDIT: Are giant pandas bears?
For years scientists have wondered whether pandas are bears, raccoons, or in a group all their own. Through studying the genetic code (DNA) in pandas’ cells, scientists have confirmed the panda's relationship with bears. Giant pandas are similar to other bears in their general looks, the way they walk and climb, and their skull characteristics. It's important to know that pandas are bears, because the more we know about pandas, the better we can help them reproduce and survive.

OK you win! (http://home.maine.rr.com/waassaap/Forum%20Pictures/youwintheprice.jpg)

I'd be mightly pissed off if I ordered a bear and got a damn raccoon!

"This isn't a bear!"
"Yes it is sir - clearly labelled 'Bear'"
"It's not - it's a raccoon!"
"No sir, it's a bear"
*some mild violence*

The giant panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca "black-and-white cat-foot") is a mammal classified in the bear family, Ursidae, native to central and southern China.

I'm not so certain - I wanna see proof dammit!

Scientists have debated for more than a century whether giant pandas belong to the bear family, the raccoon family or a separate family of their own. This is because the giant panda and its cousin, the lesser or red panda, share many characteristics with both bears and raccoons. Recent DNA analysis indicates that giant pandas are more closely related to bears and red pandas are more closely related to raccoons. Accordingly, giant pandas are categorized in the bear family while red pandas are categorized in the raccoon family. http://www.fws.gov/species/species_accounts/bio_pand.html

That's the closest I can get to proof over the internet. Hey, why don't we kidnap one from a zoo and run experiments on it? Sounds like a fun weekend project, no?

The idea was to involve it in a fight with a basking shark and gamble fortunes on the outcome...

OK OK It's a bear! I knew there was a mass debate to the contrary though!:p

The bear has no chance no matter what it does. The Grizzly's jaw is too small to do much to a great white. Grizzlies have small canines and teeth most suited for grinding food. A shark has a jaw about 3 or 4 feet wide with rows of teeth meant to skewer and tear flesh from bone. The Grizzly would have to rely on using it's strength to bash the shark with it's paws. Considering the great white is 20 feet long and many thousand pounds heavy, the bear is doomed.

Hey, why don't we kidnap one from a zoo and run experiments on it? Sounds like a fun weekend project, no?

Sure, why not! I live under 10 mins away from a zoo (Can't remember if they have Giant Panda though, we could always steal something more fun).:eek: :D

Paxomenia;11704409']I'd be mightly pissed off if I ordered a bear and got a damn raccoon!

Sorry, no refunds :)

Sure, why not! I live under 10 mins away from a zoo (Can't remember if they have Giant Panda though, we could always steal something more fun).:eek: :D

If they don't have a giant panda we should steal an elephant. I've always wanted to find out if an elephant is really a type of bird (well, no, I'm not that dumb, but I need an excuse for the following). Maybe we could launch one off a building or something and see if it flies.

If they don't have a giant panda we should steal an elephant. I've always wanted to find out if an elephant is really a type of bird (well, no, I'm not that dumb, but I need an excuse for the following). Maybe we could launch one off a building or something and see if it flies.

They definately have elephants! Well if Disney taught me anything it's that elephants can fly - why else would they have big silly ears?

p.s ignore the propaganda!
http://www.hrwiki.org/images/thumb/1/18/bearholdingshark.png/180px-bearholdingshark.png

Shark wins EVERYTIME.

And it's not really a shark...I think we -all- need to be reminded of Perry Bible Fellowship.

http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive/PBF190-Extreme_Crocball.png

So if there's any actual footage of this on youtube.com or something like that I'd love to see the link!