NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15339620357865610133

(Sidenote: Yes, I'm linking to OkCupid. And?)

Based off of Max Brooks instructional guide, this test will determine whether or not YOU are ready for a zombie outbreak. No cheating.

EDIT: 89%. Probably because I've read the book like a devout Christian would read the Bible.

BARHAH!!!

I detest Max Brook's survival guide. Mainly because I haven't read it, and I've seen all the zombie flicks and can think of my own survival guide thankyouverymuch. But people act like it's the Bible of Zombiedom. Damn Max Brooks! Who died and made him the zombie messiah?

Without taking the test I can assure you, I'm prepared.

My score on The Zombie Survival Test:

**************************************

Not bad
(74% Survival raiting)

"Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies"

**************************************

Take it!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15339620357865610133

I detest Max Brook's survival guide. Mainly because I haven't read it, and I've seen all the zombie flicks and can think of my own survival guide thankyouverymuch. But people act like it's the Bible of Zombiedom. Damn Max Brooks! Who died and made him the zombie messiah?

Without taking the test I can assure you, I'm prepared.

He's done research. Not watching zombie flicks. They are for entertainment only. There are no zombie flicks which are made to educate. This is really the only piece of zombie information that is REAL. You need to read it. It will educate you greatly.

Silly little Ireland...

*holds up a copy of 'Voodoo For Dummies'*

I'm ready. :)

i got 66% survival rate, better than 99% of people....W00T

*holds up a copy of 'Voodoo For Dummies'*

I'm ready. :)

Voodoo zombies are MUCH different than other zombies. For one thing, voodoo zombies aren't undead. They're just brain damaged humans. Read the part in the ZSG that talks about voodoo zombies. You'll understand.

He's done research. Not watching zombie flicks. They are for entertainment only. There are no zombie flicks which are made to educate. This is really the only piece of zombie information that is REAL. You need to read it. It will educate you greatly.

Nigga plz! I don't need some overrated comedy dude to do my tactical thinking for me, nor does he need you waggling your pom poms for him!

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15339620357865610133

(Sidenote: Yes, I'm linking to OkCupid. And?)

Based off of Max Brooks instructional guide, this test will determine whether or not YOU are ready for a zombie outbreak. No cheating.

EDIT: 89%. Probably because I've read the book like a devout Christian would read the Bible.

Not bad
72% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies


and I didn't read the book.

"Not bad
73% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing"

Really?

*checks other posters for zombie bites, backs away slowly*

Not bad
73% Survival raiting

That's right, I'm going to kick some Zombie ass!

Stop the zombie victimization! Free your minds from the Humanist Propoganda! The zombies are friendly, the zombies are friendly damnit!

Stop the zombie victimization! Free your minds from the Humanist Propoganda! The zombies are friendly, the zombies are friendly damnit!

oh great another zombie apologist,:rolleyes:

Stop the zombie victimization! Free your minds from the Humanist Propoganda! The zombies are friendly, the zombies are friendly damnit!

yeah... they just find you sexy... and wanna neck with you and give you love bites! :D

Not bad
75% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies


My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

No surprise here.

Nigga plz! I don't need some overrated comedy dude to do my tactical thinking for me, nor does he need you waggling your pom poms for him!

Comedy? COMEDY?!?! THIS IS FACT MY GOOD MAN! You will NOT be saying it is comedy when the undead are biting into your flesh! Just because his father was a satrical comedian does NOT mean that all he does is satrical comedy. He wrote this book so that some people with enough patience to read it and realize it's not just "comedy" would be able to survive in the event of a zombie outbreak. You, obviously, are not one of those.

oh great another zombie apologist,:rolleyes:

mrh?

No surprise here.

Oh uh... HR. Sorry about the whole, you know, thing.

Just barly
66% Survival raiting

He's done research. Not watching zombie flicks. They are for entertainment only. There are no zombie flicks which are made to educate. This is really the only piece of zombie information that is REAL. You need to read it. It will educate you greatly.
Uhh... Sory if you're talking about the zombie survival guide... It is correct that there is a Solanum virus. But it kills tomatoes. ;) Not that I'm saying that such a virus would be impossible to exist however.

But I got 66%.

Uhh... Sory if you're talking about the zombie survival guide... It is correct that there is a Solanum(I thinkt that's what it's called) virus.

But it kills tomatoes. ;)

Remeber, it was named in the Victorian Era. Until we get a better name for it, that's what we're calling it.

Uhh... Sory if you're talking about the zombie survival guide... It is correct that there is a Solanum(I thinkt that's what it's called) virus.

But it kills tomatoes. ;)

So that's what we do when the Killer Tomatoes attack?

Oh uh... HR. Sorry about the whole, you know, thing.

No hard feelings. :)

I made it through the zombie outbreak:

96% Survival raiting

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

Just barly
63% Survival raiting
That was close, you're lucky

http://is0.okcupid.com/users/478/594/4795944636032318992/mt1136125180.jpg


You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

yeah... they just find you sexy... and wanna neck with you and give you love bites! :D

I'm sick of everyone assuming zombies are evil, want to eat us and kill us, etc. What if they come back to life, and just want to eat some food, maybe smoke a bowl or two, etc?

I love zombies. They're well-seasoned, so they make a great meal.

Mmmmm... zooooombieeeees...

Not bad
71% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies


My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing




And I don't watch zombie movies, nor did I read the book.

Just barly
66% Survival raiting
That was close, you're lucky
Truthfuly if a Zombie attack came Id go not in the initial wave, but one of the first in the remaining human civilizations.... Ive always been a sucker for going out in small groups.

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15339620357865610133

(Sidenote: Yes, I'm linking to OkCupid. And?)

Based off of Max Brooks instructional guide, this test will determine whether or not YOU are ready for a zombie outbreak. No cheating.

EDIT: 89%. Probably because I've read the book like a devout Christian would read the Bible.



damn..i thought i was better then this..grrr...


You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

Comedy? COMEDY?!?! THIS IS FACT MY GOOD MAN! You will NOT be saying it is comedy when the undead are biting into your flesh!

Undead? Pfft. He's got some sort of Star Trek nonsense explanation about a zombie "virus." He's off his rocker and grasping at straws even about the very definition of zombiehood!

Just because his father was a satrical comedian does NOT mean that all he does is satrical comedy. He wrote this book so that some people with enough patience to read it and realize it's not just "comedy" would be able to survive in the event of a zombie outbreak. You, obviously, are not one of those.

Pfft. If you want to put your faith into a book and some okcupid.com test, go ahead. Me, I've got my plan of action and came up with long before he started capriciously profitting off zombie popularity!

I love zombies. They're well-seasoned, so they make a great meal.

Mmmmm... zooooombieeeees...

Prepare to be infected then, my man.

Undead? Pfft. He's got some sort of Star Trek nonsense explanation about a zombie "virus." He's off his rocker and grasping at straws even about the very definition of zombiehood!



Pfft. If you want to put your faith into a book and some okcupid.com test, go ahead. Me, I've got my plan of action and came up with long before he started capriciously profitting off zombie popularity!

It's not just a BOOK. It's something that will assist anyone who reads it in surviving a zombie outbreak. And the test is just a something to test your knowledge of the guide with, not an actual guide.

And it's not Star Trek nonsense. It's RESEARCH. Maybe you should do it some time, instead of just being so pretensious.

I'm sick of everyone assuming zombies are evil, want to eat us and kill us, etc. What if they come back to life, and just want to eat some food, maybe smoke a bowl or two, etc?

It's the only thing that drives them, their hunger for living flesh, human or other wise. It's truly scary to know that's all that drives them.

oh great another zombie apologist,:rolleyes:

probably a friggen liberal also...jeez

when will they learn?

a flesh eating zombie wont care if you offer them free medical or foodstamps.:rolleyes:

65%, Just barely. That was close, you're lucky.

Prepare to be infected then, my man.

What? Could you repeat that? Sorry, I was too busy chewing on your arm to hear.

I refused to take that test, because it makes many assumptions about the actions of zombies. Thats as bad as assuming things about religion, really.

Though if they did attack, and I was to defend, I would do quite well. I don't eat much, love guns and explosives, etc.

probably a friggen liberal also...jeez

when will they learn?

a flesh eating zombie wont care if you offer them free medical or foodstamps.:rolleyes:

Its either shoot them till their dead or welfare? So you are a conservative? :rolleyes:

It's not just a BOOK. It's something that will assist anyone who reads it in surviving a zombie outbreak. And the test is just a something to test your knowledge of the guide with, not an actual guide.

Yeah, it's like a Biblical Trivia test, written by a fundie who really likes Jesus. Worthless!

And it's not Star Trek nonsense. It's RESEARCH. Maybe you should do it some time, instead of just being so pretensious.

Research based on nothing at all! It's star trek nonsense. "The blah blah blah solarin virus has blah blah blah blah." Zombies aren't a virus. If you want to think of it as a virus, all you need to do is wait around til someone invents a cure or vaccine. But that won't work in a real zombie outbreak, since undeath is insidously more evil than some overblown HIV!

What? Could you repeat that? Sorry, I was too busy chewing on your arm to hear.

Eating zombie meat causes infection. Actually, IRC, it kills you. So nevermind my first statement.

It's the only thing that drives them, their hunger for living flesh, human or other wise. It's truly scary to know that's all that drives them.

And we know thats what drives them... how?

As far as I'm concerned, a zombie is an undead human, typically with diminished capacities due to rotting, etc.

Why exactly can't they eat like the rest of us? I'm also tired of the assumption that they aren't conscious. There was a time we thought black people were of a lower mental level than us, too.

I'm sure we could work with them. Have them do labour jobs, pay them in food. High profits for employers, who we can tax for every zombie worker, and that tax goes to subsidizing farms, to pay for the food the zombies get.

Its either shoot them till their dead or welfare? So you are a conservative? :rolleyes:

you forgot about the free medical...but was it teddy roosevelt that had big medicine?
i think it was a .405 lever gun he used in africa.

i love these zombie/fantasy threads...makes me realise i aint completely round the bend..yet:fluffle:

Yeah, it's like a Biblical Trivia test, written by a fundie who really likes Jesus. Worthless!



Research based on nothing at all! It's star trek nonsense. "The blah blah blah solarin virus has blah blah blah blah." Zombies aren't a virus. If you want to think of it as a virus, all you need to do is wait around til someone invents a cure or vaccine. But that won't work in a real zombie outbreak, since undeath is insidously more evil than some overblown HIV!

For some reason I feel like you're being sarcasting with your first statement...

And it's not based on nothing. He has met with others who have researched it via captured zombies and those whom have had first hand experiences with them. And it's "Solanum", of course until we can find a more appropriate name for it. And it is a virus. Once again being pretensious... And since no scientist who hasn't been labeled as a maniac researches zombies, we're far away from a cure or vaccine. What, Solanum ISN'T more evil than HIV?

Why exactly can't they eat like the rest of us?

They might, but it's safer to assume they will instead choose to eat the rest of us.

It's a safe assumption for anyone you meet, really. Better safe than sorry.

I'm also tired of the assumption that they aren't conscious. There was a time we thought black people were of a lower mental level than us, too.

That's a good point. But it's hard to say either way without doing some field testing. If they are conscious, I'd say they are the master race and we should bow to our undead overlords.

I'm sure we could work with them. Have them do labour jobs, pay them in food. High profits for employers, who we can tax for every zombie worker, and that tax goes to subsidizing farms, to pay for the food the zombies get.

I support this proposal. Capitalism will be the true key to the zombie apocalypse.

And we know thats what drives them... how?

As far as I'm concerned, a zombie is an undead human, typically with diminished capacities due to rotting, etc.

Why exactly can't they eat like the rest of us? I'm also tired of the assumption that they aren't conscious. There was a time we thought black people were of a lower mental level than us, too.

I'm sure we could work with them. Have them do labour jobs, pay them in food. High profits for employers, who we can tax for every zombie worker, and that tax goes to subsidizing farms, to pay for the food the zombies get.

When was the last time you saw a zombie show ANY shred of intelligence? And don't refrence towards movies. Once more, entertainment, not education.

They might, but it's safer to assume they will instead choose to eat the rest of us.

It's a safe assumption for anyone you meet, really. Better safe than sorry.



That's a good point. But it's hard to say either way without doing some field testing. If they are conscious, I'd say they are the master race and we should bow to our undead overlords.



I support this proposal. Capitalism will be the true key to the zombie apocalypse.

1. Bow down? So we can what? Be eaten?

2. Zombies have no sense of currency or material value.

73% survival rating. i killed 99% more zombies than anyone else. :P

When was the last time you saw a zombie show ANY shred of intelligence? And don't refrence towards movies. Once more, entertainment, not education.

i was a zombie once..all it took was a bloody mary to bring me back!

if you cant reference movies...please provide a link to scientists studying zombies...as i have never heard of a zombie being captured in the wild..kinda like bigfoot i guess.

Not bad
72% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies.

I scored higher than 99% of people my age and gender taking the test. Looks like I'll be one of the very few older women around.

i was a zombie once..all it took was a bloody mary to bring me back!

if you cant reference movies...please provide a link to scientists studying zombies...as i have never heard of a zombie being captured in the wild..kinda like bigfoot i guess.

What, you DON'T think the government would cover it up, even if a scientist decided to lose all of his credibility by saying he's discovered a zombie, even if he could discover a zombie, which are considerably quite rare, and if he actually handled it correctly, not resulting in being killed by it?

What, you DON'T think the government would cover it up, even if a scientist decided to lose all of his credibility by saying he's discovered a zombie, even if he could discover a zombie, which are considerably quite rare, and if he actually handled it correctly, not resulting in being killed by it?

you are being faceitous i hope.

do you really think the gov has zombies in captivity?

if so..there is an invention called a tinfoil hat...helps shield you from the mind meld perpetrated on us by aliens.

as far as zombie survival goes...i got over 12,000 rounds of ammo,some hard core seriously trained friends in combat tactics,a multitude of firearms,a truck,a car,a quad,2 street bikes,2 dirtbikes...and some pretty good knowledge of exsplosives and booby traps...so i will be ok.

i am also a crack shot if need be.


zombies...pft...bring em on.

you are being faceitous i hope.

do you really think the gov has zombies in captivity?

if so..there is an invention called a tinfoil hat...helps shield you from the mind meld perpetrated on us by aliens.

as far as zombie survival goes...i got over 12,000 rounds of ammo,some hard core seriously trained friends in combat tactics,a multitude of firearms,a truck,a car,a quad,2 street bikes,2 dirtbikes...and some pretty good knowledge of exsplosives and booby traps...so i will be ok.

i am also a crack shot if need be.


zombies...pft...bring em on.
My whole response, gone, because of Jolt. Anyways...

The government has everything.

And I think most aliens are peaceful. Even if they weren't I doubt tinfoil hats would protect us against laser guns.

Unfortunately for you, your "combat tactics" are designed for combat against human beings, not the undead. Also, what guns do you have? Also, since zombies can only be killed via destruction of the brain, what are the chances of an explosion killing them? And lastly, how effective do you think a car, truck, or quad would be when the street is destroyed and filled with wrecked cars?

Lastly, do you know how many grammar and truth babies you killed with that paragraph?

When was the last time you saw a zombie show ANY shred of intelligence? And don't refrence towards movies. Once more, entertainment, not education.

When was the last time you saw a zombie? And don't reference toward movies, or other entertainment.

When was the last time you saw a zombie? And don't reference toward movies, or other entertainment.

I was there for the infamous "St. Thomas" zombie incident in 2002. After that, I knew I must do everything I could to defend myself against them.

92%, bitches!

Hail to the King!

92%, bitches!

Hail to the King!

It's supposed to be "Hail to the King, Baby"

It's supposed to be "Hail to the King, Baby"

HE'S A ZOMBIE!

*Shoots Naliitr with rifle*

92%, bitches!

Hail to the King!

How many times did you have to take the quiz to get that score?:p

How many times did you have to take the quiz to get that score?:p

Once.

I read the Zombie Survival Guide about once a week, for your information.

1. Bow down? So we can what? Be eaten?

Well, clearly, if reading the ZSG is the only way to survive, then humanity won't have enough people in one location to repopulate the species successfully. So it's either fight and be eaten, or bow down and be eaten.

2. Zombies have no sense of currency or material value.

You seem to know a lot about what motivates them. I'm starting to think you're actually a zombie sympathizer, trying to spread misinformation for your liberal zombie terrorist friends!

pffft, zombies. When the outbreak comes, I'll be on my boat, in the middle of the Pacific running on solar power and eating fishes and veggies grown in the garden on the fore-deck.
If any zombies can get me 2,000+ miles from land and miles from the bottom, they're welcome to all the .357 magnum JHP their braincases can hold.

pffft, zombies. When the outbreak comes, I'll be on my boat, in the middle of the Pacific running on solar power and eating fishes and veggies grown in the garden on the fore-deck.
If any zombies can get me 2,000+ miles from land and miles from the bottom, they're welcome to all the .357 magnum JHP their braincases can hold.

What about the zombie fish?

pffft, zombies. When the outbreak comes, I'll be on my boat, in the middle of the Pacific running on solar power and eating fishes and veggies grown in the garden on the fore-deck.
If any zombies can get me 2,000+ miles from land and miles from the bottom, they're welcome to all the .357 magnum JHP their braincases can hold.

Just so long as there aren't any hurricanes or tsunami in the Pacific. Luckily, the Pacific doesn't have any of those. :p

What about the zombie fish?

we haven't even talked about zombie animals, their brains are so small....how would you hit them?

My score was 66% - just barely.

I think that if I did decide to move to Israel and join the IDF my chances would improve substantially.

we haven't even talked about zombie animals, their brains are so small....how would you hit them?

Well, with something like a zombie dog I'd say hit it in the legs so its' movements are impaired. A zombie fish - well, umm... it doesn't have any legs to shoot at, I guess... and - it wouldn't die from being out in the air like a living fish... and it could be one of those really big fish you find places like the Pacific, after all.

I'd be pretty nervous out there on a boat with all those zombie fish circling me day and night.

Just so long as there aren't any hurricanes or tsunami in the Pacific. Luckily, the Pacific doesn't have any of those. :p

no hurricanes anyway, and Tsunami's aren't a problem as long as you keep enough water under the keel, infact, Until a Tsunami get's quite close to shore, you have to be an expert to even notice anything different about it from other waves..

As for Zombie fish: I believe the ZSG mentions that Solanum only affects humans (or at least only makes humans into the undead). In a non ZSG style outbreak however, I might have to switch tactics a little, but I doubt a zombie infestation could sufficiently permeate the millions of cubic miles of the Pacific ocean to cause much of a problem to a lone boat (though I will still plan on upgrading that lone boat to a surplus/'abandoned' Missile Destroyer ASAP, just to be prudent)

EDIT: I'm not even sure a fish could be zombified, what with its lack of many features of terrestrial brains, like a fore-brain and other fiddly bits that might or might not be a pre-requisite for zombification.

Not bad
72% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies




My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing


Hm, not to good but Its better than fifty/fifty. Probably because I haven't read the book or seen to many zombie movies, though I do watch them when ever I see they are on and do have a copy of Night of the Living Dead.

I am immortal and will watch as my zombie hordes take over the world in my 'holy' name.

no hurricanes anyway,

in the Pacific? Of course (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006_Pacific_hurricane_season) there are.

though sometimes they are called "tropical storms" or "cyclones." But that's like the difference between "ax murderer" and "guy carrying an ax who kills people with it."

96% Survival raitingOwned you all.

I got a 74%

However, I do own a rifle and about 1000 rounds of ammunition. Not only that, but most of my friends are similarly armed, and we'd probably all meet at one guy's property in the country. He has about 80 acres of land, 20 of which are farmable. With the amount of weapons and ammo we could scrape together we could probably go for years. We'd do even better if we managed to raid a gun store in the aftermath of the zombiepocalypse.

Oh, I meant to ask would a great sword and a couple of flails count for that heavy weapon catagory, because I don't have any guns but swords....

"I love zombies. They're well-seasoned, so they make a great meal." Prepare to be infected then, my man.

Well, he should prepare to die. Zombie flesh won't turn you, but it is fatal to consume it.

Survival Rating 77%
Higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

Oh, I meant to ask would a great sword and a couple of flails count for that heavy weapon catagory, because I don't have any guns but swords....

Blades don't need relaoding! Might want to leave the flails at home, though...not to useful, and heavy.

Blades don't need relaoding! Might want to leave the flails at home, though...not to useful, and heavy.

Wouldn't they be good for smashing heads? Although I suppose they could be dificult to swing right when getting mobed by brain-suckers so your probably right, maybe just if have acess for a defended elevated position where you can swing at the zombies below you.

edit: You know whats funny is that I was actually thinking about, how defensable the dorms would be in case of a zombie attack while I was on my way back from dinner. And that was before I had even come on here to this discussion :P

Swords I think would pretty much suck against zombies, depending on type. Most people vastly overestimate how easy it is to decapitate someone with a sword. Swords are good for stabbing and for slicing, neither of which is very useful against zombies. Stabbing gets it stuck. Slicing doesn't do anything. Chopping, in the sense of a heavy meat-cleaver type blade, could be useful, but then you might as well go for an axe.

Flails are ok, the reflex means they can bring a massive amount of weight at a good speed, good for skull-bashing. But difficult to use. I'd prefer a solid bludgeoning weapon, like a mace.

Swords I think would pretty much suck against zombies, depending on type. Most people vastly overestimate how easy it is to decapitate someone with a sword. Swords are good for stabbing and for slicing, neither of which is very useful against zombies. Stabbing gets it stuck. Slicing doesn't do anything. Chopping, in the sense of a heavy meat-cleaver type blade, could be useful, but then you might as well go for an axe.

Flails are ok, the reflex means they can bring a massive amount of weight at a good speed, good for skull-bashing. But difficult to use. I'd prefer a solid bludgeoning weapon, like a mace.

Eh, jus trying to figure out how to make due with what I got, the aze I have is duller than the sword so the choping might balance out.

Wouldn't they be good for smashing heads? Although I suppose they could be dificult to swing right when getting mobed by brain-suckers so your probably right, maybe just if have acess for a defended elevated position where you can swing at the zombies below you.

Well, if you're getting mobbed there's not much hope for you...never let them gain numbers.

Crowbars are the best for smashing heads as a rule (and they double as handy tools), but if you're good with a weapon like that, you're an exception to that rule. You'd better be really good though, because they're not going to be afraid like a human would. And what if they catch it and pull you in close?

edit: You know whats funny is that I was actually thinking about, how defensable the dorms would be in case of a zombie attack while I was on my way back from dinner. And that was before I had even come on here to this discussion :P

Heh, dorms are pretty strong, and if you can destroy the stairs you'd probably have a great fortress. I look at my friends' apartments around here all the time like that, because you just never know...

67%. I barely made it, apparently.

Everyone here made better than 99% on their quiz. Is NSG the elite in zombie fighting?

70% Just barely survived.

Not bad seing as I read the book years ago. Apparently it's above 99% of all people. YAY


Looking at what Id do personally, I'd have to go for my two axes, a heavy metal bar, Motorbike clothing (Inc. helmet), and a homemade flamethrower (Not your pansy deoderant can ones, I'm talking a 50/50 kerosene/methalated spirits (About 99% Ethanol, 1% methanol) mix in a 5 liter supersoaker + wick)

The armour would in theory keep me alive whilst I utilize my pathetic weaponry. Oh, and an assortment of knives and other sharp pointy things for incase they get up close (Through the temple or the gap at the tip of the spine) And rig up a potato gun, that should take a head off or two.

(I really need to stop editing) One more thing, what effect would a tazer gun have on a zombie, (I know it's one use, but I could get a few from the police zombies)

78%

I think I'll be OK.

62% Survival raiting
That was close, you're lucky

*wipes forehead*
Didn't expect to stand a chance, lol.

Well, clearly, if reading the ZSG is the only way to survive, then humanity won't have enough people in one location to repopulate the species successfully. So it's either fight and be eaten, or bow down and be eaten.



You seem to know a lot about what motivates them. I'm starting to think you're actually a zombie sympathizer, trying to spread misinformation for your liberal zombie terrorist friends!

Actually, I've forced all of my friends to read it, and told them to force all of their friends to read it, etc. etc. So maybe only a few will actually tell their friends to read it, but those few will restart civilization, maybe with an advanced lizard man species as another dominant species on Earth. Maybe the lobster people will rule the ocean.

I know a lot about what motivates them because I research. Doesn't mean I sympathize with them. And I'm moderate.

pffft, zombies. When the outbreak comes, I'll be on my boat, in the middle of the Pacific running on solar power and eating fishes and veggies grown in the garden on the fore-deck.
If any zombies can get me 2,000+ miles from land and miles from the bottom, they're welcome to all the .357 magnum JHP their braincases can hold.

And what about the lonliness, the knowledge that you abandoned your friends and family?

What about the zombie fish?

It's actually impossible for animals to become infected, as Solanum is a human-only virus. Thank god for that. God damned zombie dogs...

no hurricanes anyway, and Tsunami's aren't a problem as long as you keep enough water under the keel, infact, Until a Tsunami get's quite close to shore, you have to be an expert to even notice anything different about it from other waves..

As for Zombie fish: I believe the ZSG mentions that Solanum only affects humans (or at least only makes humans into the undead). In a non ZSG style outbreak however, I might have to switch tactics a little, but I doubt a zombie infestation could sufficiently permeate the millions of cubic miles of the Pacific ocean to cause much of a problem to a lone boat (though I will still plan on upgrading that lone boat to a surplus/'abandoned' Missile Destroyer ASAP, just to be prudent)

EDIT: I'm not even sure a fish could be zombified, what with its lack of many features of terrestrial brains, like a fore-brain and other fiddly bits that might or might not be a pre-requisite for zombification.

Fortunately for you, there is no other outbreak besides the ZSG kind.

Well, he should prepare to die. Zombie flesh won't turn you, but it is fatal to consume it.

Survival Rating 77%
Higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

Yeah, I know. I forgot that bit. Thought it turned you. I edited that comment with a later post.

Oh, I meant to ask would a great sword and a couple of flails count for that heavy weapon catagory, because I don't have any guns but swords....

If you know how to use them, great. If you don't, you're screwed.

70% Just barely survived.

Not bad seing as I read the book years ago. Apparently it's above 99% of all people. YAY


Looking at what Id do personally, I'd have to go for my two axes, a heavy metal bar, Motorbike clothing (Inc. helmet), and a homemade flamethrower (Not your pansy deoderant can ones, I'm talking a 50/50 kerosene/methalated spirits (About 99% Ethanol, 1% methanol) mix in a 5 liter supersoaker + wick)

The armour would in theory keep me alive whilst I utilize my pathetic weaponry. Oh, and an assortment of knives and other sharp pointy things for incase they get up close (Through the temple or the gap at the tip of the spine) And rig up a potato gun, that should take a head off or two.

(I really need to stop editing) One more thing, what effect would a tazer gun have on a zombie, (I know it's one use, but I could get a few from the police zombies)

Do you have the strength to continually wield the axes and the metal bar? And do you know how long it takes for zombies to burn to the point of thier brain dieing? And that during that time they are essentially a shambling torch? And unless it's a powerful taser gun, all it will do is, well, nothing. Even if you have a powerful taser gun, it only temporarily stuns them. If you had a VERY powerful taser gun and you set it at the zombies temple, you might be able to kill it. And knives are only good if you can get through the skull.

I got a 72%...

My thing is, what if the zombies are like the ones in Dawn of the Dead and CAN run?

Then we have to redefine our survival tactics.

Not bad
73% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies
Better than the 99% of the people.


Best weapon regarding zombies. Gas and oil.

Lines of fire, gouts of fire, firetraps, molotov cocktails, flamethrowers.

Forget about the swords, and other melee weapons. You need to sustain heavy damage to the head to kill them, (as described), and they just need to deal a tiny bite, or scratch to you. Unless you are the fabled Musashi able to cut several opponents one after another with single strokes, go for distance and range.

Plus, go to an unpopulated area, less people, less dead people, less zombies. The more remote the better (island, military base in the middle of the desert, little shanty town, take your pick. No thousand zombie avalanches there)

I got a 72%...

My thing is, what if the zombies are like the ones in Dawn of the Dead and CAN run?

Then we have to redefine our survival tactics.

Well, they can't. But if they can, just hope they don't run like the ones in 28 Days Later...

Not bad
73% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies
Better than the 99% of the people.


Best weapon regarding zombies. Gas and oil.

Lines of fire, gouts of fire, firetraps, molotov cocktails, flamethrowers.

Forget about the swords, and other melee weapons. You need to sustain heavy damage to the head to kill them, (as described), and they just need to deal a tiny bite, or scratch to you. Unless you are the fabled Musashi able to cut several opponents one after another with single strokes, go for distance and range.

Plus, go to an unpopulated area, less people, less dead people, less zombies. The more remote the better (island, military base in the middle of the desert, little shanty town, take your pick. No thousand zombie avalanches there)

Once again I ask. How long does it take for a brain to be destroyed by fire, taking into account skin and bone burning or melting. Then, during that time, how much of a shambling torch are they?

I plan not only to be on the zombie side, but to genetically engineer a new zombie virus, allowing zombies to retain their intelligence and motor skills to some degree. Then I plan to publish this:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y239/NuGo1988/ZombieSurvivalGuide.jpg

BARHAH!!!

Barhah mah zambah brazzah!

So that's what we do when the Killer Tomatoes attack?
Pizza. Lots of Pizza.

I got 74%, and like everyone else here scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing than everyone else. Which leads me to conclude the author of this test didn't do the comparison properly.

Once again I ask. How long does it take for a brain to be destroyed by fire, taking into account skin and bone burning or melting. Then, during that time, how much of a shambling torch are they?

Oh, and you set them on fire and wait until they come for you?. Blaze and retreat. Done several times. Spill gas over the street and set a firetrap, then flee. Try to initiate massive fires around the city and then leave.

Napalm the entire city. Preferably when you aren't in it and in the morning.

I've read that book two times over, and I love it. At the end he's got weird citations of 'real' events.

Apparently zombies are real.

I was there for the infamous "St. Thomas" zombie incident in 2002. After that, I knew I must do everything I could to defend myself against them.
Ok, I'll bite.
Tell us your story of the "St. Thomas zombie incident". Preferably with pictures. The only reference I can find on-line is from the book you keep promoting.
Which is here, in case anybody's interested:
Zombie Survival guide (http://www.fictionbook.ru/author/brooks_max/the_zombie_survival_guide_complete_prote/brooks_the_zombie_survival_guide_complete_prote.html#TOC_id2920957)
Well that book and this movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080057/
"Zombi 2: The Dead Are Among Us" - low budget zombie flick set on St.Thomas island.
Which makes me wonder whether the author just got really stoned one night, woke to this turkey being on the telly and in his drug-addled mind thought he was watching a news report.

Here's a good review of the book incidently:
Zombie guide review (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/journal_comments.php?journalid=199968&entryid=175261)

Oh, and you set them on fire and wait until they come for you?. Blaze and retreat. Done several times. Spill gas over the street and set a firetrap, then flee. Try to initiate massive fires around the city and then leave.

Bad plan. Fire doesn't work well, you'll want to always have control of the situation. If they catch something on fire you didn't mean to be on fire, your plan just aquired another variable you didn't count on. Plus, you can't just "leave the city" - going through the city itself is horrible, but leaving a burning city is harder than it sounds. First off, you might get bitten before you leave, you might get burned, your car could stall, in which case you'd need to stay inside the city until you found better transportation (the book suggests a bike because it's quiet and fast and can go places cars can't).

When you're dealing with a life or undeath situation, you always want to have all your factors covered.

Bad plan. Fire doesn't work well, you'll want to always have control of the situation. If they catch something on fire you didn't mean to be on fire, your plan just aquired another variable you didn't count on. Plus, you can't just "leave the city" - going through the city itself is horrible, but leaving a burning city is harder than it sounds. First off, you might get bitten before you leave, you might get burned, your car could stall, in which case you'd need to stay inside the city until you found better transportation (the book suggests a bike because it's quiet and fast and can go places cars can't).

When you're dealing with a life or undeath situation, you always want to have all your factors covered.

I'll keep with fire. Setting the city on fire, and leaving as fast as you can.

The bike is a good idea, although. A helicopter is a better one, as long you have a pilot.

I'll keep with fire. Setting the city on fire, and leaving as fast as you can.

The bike is a good idea, although. A helicopter is a better one, as long you have a pilot.

Pilot and a hell of a lot of gas and a guarantee that wherever you land won't have zombies, which it most likely will with all the noise it'll create on the way there.

Taking them out with single-shot rifles or pistols (headshots, of course) is the most efficient way to destroy the undead, short of a nuke, and according to Return of the Living Dead 2, that doesn't work at all!

Pilot and a hell of a lot of gas and a guarantee that wherever you land won't have zombies, which it most likely will with all the noise it'll create on the way there.

Taking them out with single-shot rifles or pistols (headshots, of course) is the most efficient way to destroy the undead, short of a nuke, and according to Return of the Living Dead 2, that doesn't work at all!

Depends on how advanced is the "infection", a town, a city a country, the world?

If it is just a city, like in resident evil, you just need to go out there fast, and the best way is the helicopter.

I've read that book two times over, and I love it. At the end he's got weird citations of 'real' events.

Apparently zombies are real.
Avast, Landlubber! Check ye the citations that bilge rat gives:
SRINAGAR, INDIA
ZABROVST, SIBERIA
SIDI-MOUSSA, MOROCCO
KHOTAN, CHINA
JURUTI, BRAZIL
MARICELA, BRAZIL
AL-MARQ, EGYPT
NONG’ONA VALLEY, RWANDA
EASTERN LAOS

Near all are from the far-flung reaches o'er the seas, and thar be thar reason to be sceptical.
(man too hard to keep with the Pirate talk, sorry!)

It's always a big clue that the stories are fake. Like Urban Legends, it's always in a place too far away for one to ascertain for oneself the truth and validity of the story.
They sound true, because you want them to be true.

Depends on how advanced is the "infection", a town, a city a country, the world?

If it is just a city, like in resident evil, you just need to go out there fast, and the best way is the helicopter.

Yeah and look how well that turned out, there were HOW many Resident Evil games? It spread fairly quickly and happened all over the place.

Though the book prepares you for the worst possible scenario, a worldwide epidemic.

Avast, Landlubber! Check ye the citations that bilge rat gives:
SRINAGAR, INDIA
ZABROVST, SIBERIA
SIDI-MOUSSA, MOROCCO
KHOTAN, CHINA
JURUTI, BRAZIL
MARICELA, BRAZIL
AL-MARQ, EGYPT
NONG’ONA VALLEY, RWANDA
EASTERN LAOS

Near all are from the far-flung reaches o'er the seas, and thar be thar reason to be sceptical.
(man too hard to keep with the Pirate talk, sorry!)

It's always a big clue that the stories are fake. Like Urban Legends, it's always in a place too far away for one to ascertain for oneself the truth and validity of the story.
They sound true, because you want them to be true.

I do, kinda. =)

But he also had a story about LA, and a theory about the bird flu. Lol

if mike epps can survive a zombie outbreak then so can i.....


i need to test to prove it...

if mike epps can survive a zombie outbreak then so can i.....


i need to test to prove it...

The guy from Dawn of the Dead's remake? Didn't they all die in the end?

I do, kinda. =)

But he also had a story about LA, and a theory about the bird flu. Lol
But the story from LA had the usual, "No-one will say it happened, there were no media reports on it, and the place burnt down 'mysteriously' a few days later".
Thus, again, there's no way to know it ever happened.

Reading through the stories is fun, but surely even Brooks didn't believe them.
I'm scanning thru them now on-line, and I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that the book is a very well written satirical piece, so careful that one doesn't notice it at first.
Like the Laos zombie story:
This story was related by Peter Stavros, a substance-abuse patient and former Special Forces sniper. In 1989, while under psychological evaluation at a V.A. hospital in Los Angeles, he related this story to the attending psychiatrist. Stavros stated that his team was on a routine search-and-destroy mission along the Vietnamese border. Their intended target was a village suspected of being a staging area of the Pathet Lao (Communist guerrillas). Upon entering the village, they discovered the inhabitants were in the midst of their own siege against several dozen walking dead. For unknown reasons, the team leader ordered his team to withdraw, then called in an air strike. Sky raiders armed with napalm plastered the area, destroying both the living dead and the human survivors. No documented evidence exists to corroborate Stavros’ story. The other members of his team are either dead, missing in action, missing within the United States, or simply declined to be interviewed.
A story from a junkie insane vet that has no documented evidence to back it up, and everyone else who was there is either dead or missing is offered as proof of Zombies?
Surely it's satire.

The guy from Dawn of the Dead's remake? Didn't they all die in the end?

no the guy in RE2. terrible ass movie...

I'm sure we could work with them. Have them do labour jobs, pay them in food. High profits for employers, who we can tax for every zombie worker, and that tax goes to subsidizing farms, to pay for the food the zombies get.
Someone's been watching 'Shaun of the Dead'.

Which brings up a good point:
Why no 'Cricket Bat' option in the Preferred weapons questions in the OP test?

But the story from LA had the usual, "No-one will say it happened, there were no media reports on it, and the place burnt down 'mysteriously' a few days later".
Thus, again, there's no way to know it ever happened.

Reading through the stories is fun, but surely even Brooks didn't believe them.
I'm scanning thru them now on-line, and I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that the book is a very well written satirical piece, so careful that one doesn't notice it at first.
Like the Laos zombie story:

A story from a junkie insane vet that has no documented evidence to back it up, and everyone else who was there is either dead or missing is offered as proof of Zombies?
Surely it's satire.

Of course, but it's always fun to pretend, as well as discuss survival tactics.

Someone's been watching 'Shaun of the Dead'.

Which brings up a good point:
Why no 'Cricket Bat' option in the Preferred weapons questions in the OP test?

Because a cricket bat is a horrible weapon.

Samurai swords or pistols or single-shot rifles.

Samurai swords or pistols or single-shot rifles.

Samurai swords for what?

Anything with range...

Of course, but it's always fun to pretend, as well as discuss survival tactics.
Fun for you maybe, but I always have bad dreams about Zombies the night after talking about them!

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamt of a Zombie attack, so bordered up the Apartment. Then I heard screaming and went onto the landing. My upstairs neighbour had become one and was shambling down the flight of stairs to unlock the security door to let his fellow Zombies in. I didn't have a gun, so had to beat him to (un)death with my canoe paddle, which was very messy.
Creepy, creepy dream.
Until after I'd killed him - Then I realised in my dream his fiance (who's a babe) was now single again. And it, uh, stopped being a zombie dream.


Sex and Death.
Death and Sex.

What else is there?

Samurai swords for what?

Anything with range...

Samurai swords if you're forced to use close-range attacks. The book also suggested other oriental weapons with longer range such as a spear, but I can't use a spear as well as I can a sword.

Fun for you maybe, but I always have bad dreams about Zombies the night after talking about them!

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamt of a Zombie attack, so bordered up the Apartment. Then I heard screaming and went onto the landing. My upstairs neighbour had become one and was shambling down the flight of stairs to unlock the security door to let his fellow Zombies in. I didn't have a gun, so had to beat him to (un)death with my canoe paddle, which was very messy.
Creepy, creepy dream.
Until after I'd killed him - Then I realised in my dream his fiance (who's a babe) was now single again. And it, uh, stopped being a zombie dream.


Sex and Death.
Death and Sex.

What else is there?

Psh, zombies can't unlock doors. Not enough intelligence.

I recently had a dream about The Ring girl. Freaky shit - no bullet to the head takes her down, which makes her much scarier than a zombie.

Psh, zombies can't unlock doors. Not enough intelligence.

I recently had a dream about The Ring girl. Freaky shit - no bullet to the head takes her down, which makes her much scarier than a zombie.

They can break the doors down.

71%...not bad. Well, if I'm honest I'd like 100%...Actually, I'd rather they didn't show up at all.

Samurai swords if you're forced to use close-range attacks. The book also suggested other oriental weapons with longer range such as a spear, but I can't use a spear as well as I can a sword.

Well, your "bible" mention that swords get stuck?

I own an iaito myself. It usually gets stuck. I wouldn't want to end with a bit to my wrist because my edge became embedded in the skull of a zombie and can't get out.

Same with axes. I'll go with the pointy stick, spear or whatever that helps me keep the thing at range.

Samurai swords if you're forced to use close-range attacks. The book also suggested other oriental weapons with longer range such as a spear, but I can't use a spear as well as I can a sword.
I can't see how a spear would be effective.
Throwing isn't going to do much.
Thrusting it through a head would be damn difficult to do, and then you need to pull back and thrust again, assuming it isn't stuck inside a zombie. By which time the zombie, if still moving, has come well within range of attacking you.

I'd go for mace myself, except the problem of being covered in bits of zombie flesh. A sword would also have this problem - zombie blood being flung out with the strike.

Psh, zombies can't unlock doors. Not enough intelligence.
But they can keep banging on things - enough time and he might have unlocked the door just through sheer luck.

I'm thinking of that scene in Romero's 'Day of the Dead' where the zombies keep banging on the elevator doors - eventually one of them inadvertently hits the 'open' button. Then the guy inside, who's now a zombie, leads them to where the remaining humans are.

Well, your "bible" mention that swords get stuck?

I own an iaito myself. It usually gets stuck. I wouldn't want to end with a bit to my wrist because my edge became embedded in the skull of a zombie and can't get out.

Same with axes. I'll go with the pointy stick, spear or whatever that helps me keep the thing at range.

Won't get stuck if you go for the neck and swing properly. Decomposed, and all, slices rather easily. Of course the skull is hard to cut, you wouldn't hit the skull. You bash the skull if you're going for the skull, you cut the neck if you're going for decapitation.

Axes suck, too heavy, too hard to aim, takes too long to swing.

I can't see how a spear would be effective.
Throwing isn't going to do much.
Thrusting it through a head would be damn difficult to do, and then you need to pull back and thrust again, assuming it isn't stuck inside a zombie. By which time the zombie, if still moving, has come well within range of attacking you.

I'd go for mace myself, except the problem of being covered in bits of zombie flesh. A sword would also have this problem - zombie blood being flung out with the strike.

And keep in mind, if you get any of the zombie inside of your eyes or mouth or an open wound, you're infected. You'd want a clean cut. No blood will spray because it's coagulated, which is why the neck is a prime target.

Spear would be good if you could cut the neck from a distance, but that would require considerable training in the weapon's handling.

I think what he actually suggested was some type of trident so you could stab and twist the head off from a distance.

But they can keep banging on things - enough time and he might have unlocked the door just through sheer luck.

I'm thinking of that scene in Romero's 'Day of the Dead' where the zombies keep banging on the elevator doors - eventually one of them inadvertently hits the 'open' button. Then the guy inside, who's now a zombie, leads them to where the remaining humans are.

It's possible but not likely. Regardless, even if he'd gotten down and opened the door, you could get up the stairs and taken them out one at a time from above. Best place to be, the attic. You can shoot all you want, and they can't get you. Second-best is up at the top of stairs.

Won't get stuck if you go for the neck and swing properly. Decomposed, and all, slices rather easily. Of course the skull is hard to cut, you wouldn't hit the skull. You bash the skull if you're going for the skull, you cut the neck if you're going for decapitation.

Axes suck, too heavy, too hard to aim, takes too long to swing.

Decapitation, my friend, is not an easy feat. Even more if you are looking to perform it flawlessly several times in a row. So unless you are a fantasy hero (this is fantasy in any case) Samurai swords are useless. A pick, however, to the skull, looks like a nice strategy.

I'd have to say the katana (Samurai sword) is the ideal backup weapon, because it requires no ammo and as a slashing type weapon, won't get stuck.

Granted, if you're in close enough that you have to use a hand to hand weapon, things are bad indeed... but I'd rather be prepared when my primary weapon runs out of ammo. You can't beat a zombie to death with the butt of a pistol or rifle fast enough, especially if there are a bunch of them on you.

Also, difficult as it is to consistently slash off head after head, the sharp blade does make it easier to at least slow them down or disable them by going for legs and arms.

Decapitation, my friend, is not an easy feat. Even more if you are looking to perform it flawlessly several times in a row. So unless you are a fantasy hero (this is fantasy in any case) Samurai swords are useless. A pick, however, to the skull, looks like a nice strategy.

Not easy, but not impossible. I'm fairly confident in my decapitation skills. :p

And yeah, it's definitely a backup weapon. Much better than a knife. Maybe not as effective as an arrow to the eye, but a bow is hard to use.

And keep in mind, if you get any of the zombie inside of your eyes or mouth or an open wound, you're infected. You'd want a clean cut. No blood will spray because it's coagulated, which is why the neck is a prime target.


You're thinking 28 Days Later Zombies. Or ZSG zombies, I guess - same thing. Blah blah blah, zombies with AIDS.


Spear would be good if you could cut the neck from a distance, but that would require considerable training in the weapon's handling.

I think what he actually suggested was some type of trident so you could stab and twist the head off from a distance.

Team tactics would work well. One guy with a spear or other polearm sticks the zombie, fixing it in place. The other bashes the head in with a bludgeon and helps remove spear. Not very good for a melee against a bunch of zombies, of course, but - nothing is.

You're thinking 28 Days Later Zombies. Or ZSG zombies, I guess - same thing. Blah blah blah, zombies with AIDS.



Team tactics would work well. One guy with a spear or other polearm sticks the zombie, fixing it in place. The other bashes the head in with a bludgeon and helps remove spear. Not very good for a melee against a bunch of zombies, of course, but - nothing is.

Well, in everything I've ever heard about zombies, they're incredibly contagious. Their entire body, even their skin, is infected with either a virus or chemical or radioactivity or some sort of contagion.

And team tactics don't work well. In a situation like this you can really only depend on yourself, because anyone else could snap and screw everyone over by doing something stupid.

Avast!
As much as I admire Cap'n Brooks knowledge of things undead. He be a terrible one to be trusting for advise on the messier bits o' survivin' the undead.
His weapons list be mighty unsensible, considering that, as much as ye' might like to spout edgewise, none of ye scurvy dawgs have handled any sort o' real melee weapon in anything aproaching a battle fer yer life.
It be far better to keep them that the Davey Jones gifted with undeath at range with a good gun (like an AR-15, which is light, reliable, accurate, durable and uses the second most plentiful ammunition on the planet and the Most plentiful in North America (5.56mmNato. For extra cash, you can get an upper that takes all of ten seconds to switch out that will accept the most plentiful ammunition on the planet(7.62mm Soviet). It has lower recoil and is more accurate than the suggested AK-47, which might be harder to find in most western nations than a good AR-15) and a more common melee weapon for the odd man to zombie duel, try an aluminum bat or crowbar, or for the more nautically inclined, a good belaying pin. Unless ye be trainin' regularly and have been taught by some form of expert, I'd be stayin' away from swords and spears and th' like which be mor likely to get you into a zombies innards than get ye' out of a zombie infestation alive..

Arr, but of course, the true pirate will make way to the sea and ne'er look back.

Well, in everything I've ever heard about zombies, they're incredibly contagious. Their entire body, even their skin, is infected with either a virus or chemical or radioactivity or some sort of contagion.


I've never heard that. If they're that bad, may as well just give up and not worry about fighting. Seriously.


And team tactics don't work well. In a situation like this you can really only depend on yourself, because anyone else could snap and screw everyone over by doing something stupid.

Oh, they work well as long as you don't choose unstable compadres. But again if that is the case, may as well give up!

I have a fatalistic attitude about zombies... there is a point where it's hopeless to resist, and if you have to fight your team as well, you'll just wind up either losing, or being alone and insane. (I'm already alone and insane though. I wouldn't even be in a situation where I'd have to fight zombies at all, I got my retreat.)

71%
Not too bad since I've never read or heard of it before. :D

Avast!
As much as I admire Cap'n Brooks knowledge of things undead. He be a terrible one to be trusting for advise on the messier bits o' survivin' the undead.
His weapons list be mighty unsensible, considering that, as much as ye' might like to spout edgewise, none of ye scurvy dawgs have handled any sort o' real melee weapon in anything aproaching a battle fer yer life.
It be far better to keep them that the Davey Jones gifted with undeath at range with a good gun (like an AR-15, which is light, reliable, accurate, durable and uses the second most plentiful ammunition on the planet and the Most plentiful in North America (5.56mmNato. For extra cash, you can get an upper that takes all of ten seconds to switch out that will accept the most plentiful ammunition on the planet(7.62mm Soviet). It has lower recoil and is more accurate than the suggested AK-47, which might be harder to find in most western nations than a good AR-15) and a more common melee weapon for the odd man to zombie duel, try an aluminum bat or crowbar, or for the more nautically inclined, a good belaying pin. Unless ye be trainin' regularly and have been taught by some form of expert, I'd be stayin' away from swords and spears and th' like which be mor likely to get you into a zombies innards than get ye' out of a zombie infestation alive..

Arr, but of course, the true pirate will make way to the sea and ne'er look back.

I prefer having a few 9mm handy instead of a rifle, but if I was to use a rifle I'd have to go winchester. Not for Shaun of the Dead reasons, but simply because it's a great single-shot rifle with decent accuracy and ammo supply. It's the type of rifle I've been brought up on.

And I've used swords before, albeit, without a 'master trainer' or anything, but I've read books, seen movies, and practiced enough with the things to be confident enough, much more than an aluminum bat. I don't like dealing with blunt objects, not my style - I just don't do well with them. The pickaxe is an alternative, but suffers axe-syndrome - heavy swing, takes time, takes precision. You miss and the pick goes too far forward, you're essentially pulling the zombie towards you.

DONT RUN... WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS!

Whoops. Wrong enemy.

I've never heard that. If they're that bad, may as well just give up and not worry about fighting. Seriously.



Oh, they work well as long as you don't choose unstable compadres. But again if that is the case, may as well give up!

I have a fatalistic attitude about zombies... there is a point where it's hopeless to resist, and if you have to fight your team as well, you'll just wind up either losing, or being alone and insane. (I'm already alone and insane though. I wouldn't even be in a situation where I'd have to fight zombies at all, I got my retreat.)

If you've heard of zombies, you know they're contagious. That's why you turn into them if you're bitten, because the contagion goes from the mouth to the wound they inflict. Only makes sense if their nails and flesh are similarly contaminated.

Also, -everyone- is unstable in this situation. It's always a risk when you depend on someone else in a thing like this, especially when you can do just as well by yourself, or protecting someone who won't have to do anything.

Just barly (it means barely)
66% Survival raiting
That was close, you're lucky (as my nick says)
You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing (I'm the Terminatör!)

If you've heard of zombies, you know they're contagious. That's why you turn into them if you're bitten, because the contagion goes from the mouth to the wound they inflict. Only makes sense if their nails and flesh are similarly contaminated.


The latter doesn't follow. Biology is ripe with examples of saliva and mouth containing a disease but not the skin or nails. I maintain that zombification only occurs if you die and/or are bitten by a zombie. (Of course, since they're corpses, getting scratched would not be a good thing healthwise anyway, due to other, non-zombifying infections.)

The latter doesn't follow. Biology is ripe with examples of saliva and mouth containing a disease but not the skin or nails. I maintain that zombification only occurs if you die and/or are bitten by a zombie. (Of course, since they're corpses, getting scratched would not be a good thing healthwise anyway, due to other, non-zombifying infections.)

Considering the chances of a zombie being WHOLE, which isn't likely (because it died and has been rotting, it's gotta have many open wounds/sores/holes), the skin itself might not be infected, but the contagion will have most likely gotten on the skin through bumping into other zombies and other misc. things that could happen.

Generally it's best to expect that contact = infection, just to keep your planning on the safe side. You don't wanna be doing any hand-to-hand combat with a zombie regardless.

Considering the chances of a zombie being WHOLE, which isn't likely (because it died and has been rotting, it's gotta have many open wounds/sores/holes), the skin itself might not be infected, but the contagion will have most likely gotten on the skin through bumping into other zombies and other misc. things that could happen.

That's kinda farfetched, like assuming toilet seats might be infected with AIDS. Direct bodily fluid contact, that's the infection medium.

Generally it's best to expect that contact = infection, just to keep your planning on the safe side. You don't wanna be doing any hand-to-hand combat with a zombie regardless.

Of course, better safe than sorry.

That's kinda farfetched, like assuming toilet seats might be infected with AIDS. Direct bodily fluid contact, that's the infection medium.



Of course, better safe than sorry.

Not really farfetched. Blood will most likely be on their skin, and you can't tell if it's someone else's (which has been contaminated by said zombie) or another zombie's. Either way, keep off it.

Not really farfetched. Blood will most likely be on their skin, and you can't tell if it's someone else's (which has been contaminated by said zombie) or another zombie's. Either way, keep off it.

And don't forget your condoms, kids.

Arrr, accordin to the Guide, the dread virus be spread only by the tooth of the damned breaking yer skin (Saliva is the only transmission method of Solanum according to the ZSG)
But be-wares, the skin and nails of the walkin' dead be plenty of plague for all, though ye not be turned to undeath, ye may get a touch of scurvy... or worse.

Avast!
As much as I admire Cap'n Brooks knowledge of things undead. He be a terrible one to be trusting for advise on the messier bits o' survivin' the undead.
His weapons list be mighty unsensible, considering that, as much as ye' might like to spout edgewise, none of ye scurvy dawgs have handled any sort o' real melee weapon in anything aproaching a battle fer yer life.
It be far better to keep them that the Davey Jones gifted with undeath at range with a good gun (like an AR-15, which is light, reliable, accurate, durable and uses the second most plentiful ammunition on the planet and the Most plentiful in North America (5.56mmNato. For extra cash, you can get an upper that takes all of ten seconds to switch out that will accept the most plentiful ammunition on the planet(7.62mm Soviet). It has lower recoil and is more accurate than the suggested AK-47, which might be harder to find in most western nations than a good AR-15) and a more common melee weapon for the odd man to zombie duel, try an aluminum bat or crowbar, or for the more nautically inclined, a good belaying pin. Unless ye be trainin' regularly and have been taught by some form of expert, I'd be stayin' away from swords and spears and th' like which be mor likely to get you into a zombies innards than get ye' out of a zombie infestation alive..

Arr, but of course, the true pirate will make way to the sea and ne'er look back.

*Appears all ninja-like*

No. You must fight them. Fight with shurikens and, if that fails, resort to jutsu.

Oh, that's right, you DON'T know any jutsu!

Are you at least a Mecha/in possession of an inner demon?

No? Well, try an RPG/nunchaku sword. It works good.

None of THOSE? :headbang:

Well, I don't know what to say, except good luck.

*Leaves all ninja-like*

Oh, and you set them on fire and wait until they come for you?. Blaze and retreat. Done several times. Spill gas over the street and set a firetrap, then flee. Try to initiate massive fires around the city and then leave.

And what will happen to the city, which is a center for economic and industrial... things... Yeah, but anyways. What?

Napalm the entire city. Preferably when you aren't in it and in the morning.

Read my above post.

I've read that book two times over, and I love it. At the end he's got weird citations of 'real' events.

Apparently zombies are real.

THEY ARE.

Ok, I'll bite.
Tell us your story of the "St. Thomas zombie incident". Preferably with pictures. The only reference I can find on-line is from the book you keep promoting.
Which is here, in case anybody's interested:
Zombie Survival guide (http://www.fictionbook.ru/author/brooks_max/the_zombie_survival_guide_complete_prote/brooks_the_zombie_survival_guide_complete_prote.html#TOC_id2920957)
Well that book and this movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080057/
"Zombi 2: The Dead Are Among Us" - low budget zombie flick set on St.Thomas island.
Which makes me wonder whether the author just got really stoned one night, woke to this turkey being on the telly and in his drug-addled mind thought he was watching a news report.

Here's a good review of the book incidently:
Zombie guide review (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/journal_comments.php?journalid=199968&entryid=175261)

Government cover-up. Said it was all a hoax. People decided to make money off of it. And if you ask Max himself, he does not say that it is a comedy, and believe me, it isn't. Don't trust a guy on the internet.

Bad plan. Fire doesn't work well, you'll want to always have control of the situation. If they catch something on fire you didn't mean to be on fire, your plan just aquired another variable you didn't count on. Plus, you can't just "leave the city" - going through the city itself is horrible, but leaving a burning city is harder than it sounds. First off, you might get bitten before you leave, you might get burned, your car could stall, in which case you'd need to stay inside the city until you found better transportation (the book suggests a bike because it's quiet and fast and can go places cars can't).

When you're dealing with a life or undeath situation, you always want to have all your factors covered.

Not to mention my posts about destroying the city.

I'll keep with fire. Setting the city on fire, and leaving as fast as you can.

The bike is a good idea, although. A helicopter is a better one, as long you have a pilot.

Read above, again.

Avast, Landlubber! Check ye the citations that bilge rat gives:
SRINAGAR, INDIA
ZABROVST, SIBERIA
SIDI-MOUSSA, MOROCCO
KHOTAN, CHINA
JURUTI, BRAZIL
MARICELA, BRAZIL
AL-MARQ, EGYPT
NONG’ONA VALLEY, RWANDA
EASTERN LAOS

Near all are from the far-flung reaches o'er the seas, and thar be thar reason to be sceptical.
(man too hard to keep with the Pirate talk, sorry!)

It's always a big clue that the stories are fake. Like Urban Legends, it's always in a place too far away for one to ascertain for oneself the truth and validity of the story.
They sound true, because you want them to be true.
Yar, ye be citin' thar wizard's first rule, eh? Well guess what. It doesn't apply in this kind of context. It is true. We don't want it to be true. Of course we don't want zombies to be real! But we know they are. And there are plenty in the United States as well.

EDIT: And who's to say all zombie outbreaks have to happen near you?

Yeah and look how well that turned out, there were HOW many Resident Evil games? It spread fairly quickly and happened all over the place.

Though the book prepares you for the worst possible scenario, a worldwide epidemic.

I actually convinced my step-dad (a real mountain man) to build a semi-fort up in the mountains in case of a "disaster". Didn't tell him what I mean, but either way it's going to be good.

But the story from LA had the usual, "No-one will say it happened, there were no media reports on it, and the place burnt down 'mysteriously' a few days later".
Thus, again, there's no way to know it ever happened.

Reading through the stories is fun, but surely even Brooks didn't believe them.
I'm scanning thru them now on-line, and I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that the book is a very well written satirical piece, so careful that one doesn't notice it at first.
Like the Laos zombie story:

A story from a junkie insane vet that has no documented evidence to back it up, and everyone else who was there is either dead or missing is offered as proof of Zombies?
Surely it's satire.

Satire? No. Trying to do the best with the evidence he has and NOT going across the boundary of getting screwed over by the government? Yes. Hasn't anyone here heard of "government cover-ups"?

Of course, but it's always fun to pretend, as well as discuss survival tactics.

Pretend? PRETEND?!?! You consider this "pretend"? No, my dear Szanth, this is not pretend. This is serious. Max himself says that there is absolutely NO humor intended, and that this book was written in all seriousness.

Samurai swords for what?

Anything with range...

Close combat. Easily able to sever bone, flesh, and everything else in a human body.

Fun for you maybe, but I always have bad dreams about Zombies the night after talking about them!

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamt of a Zombie attack, so bordered up the Apartment. Then I heard screaming and went onto the landing. My upstairs neighbour had become one and was shambling down the flight of stairs to unlock the security door to let his fellow Zombies in. I didn't have a gun, so had to beat him to (un)death with my canoe paddle, which was very messy.
Creepy, creepy dream.
Until after I'd killed him - Then I realised in my dream his fiance (who's a babe) was now single again. And it, uh, stopped being a zombie dream.


Sex and Death.
Death and Sex.

What else is there?

Buffaw! Zombies CANNOT unlock doors. They have the intelligence below that of the average insect.

Have zombies always been so popular on here?

Have zombies always been so popular on here?

Popular? We're discussing how best to kill them, thats hardly something you do about people who are popular...Ok most of us probably don't do things like that....some of us?

Popular? We're discussing how best to kill them, thats hardly something you do about people who are popular...Ok most of us probably don't do things like that....some of us?

I meant the subject of zombies. I apologize for the ambiguity.

Zombies are my all-time single greatest irrational fear, guy.

Samurai swords if you're forced to use close-range attacks. The book also suggested other oriental weapons with longer range such as a spear, but I can't use a spear as well as I can a sword.

Don't forget the Shaolin Spade.

Zombies are my all-time single greatest irrational fear, guys.

Irrational? No my good man, it is not irrational. It is a real fear. And you should be afraid.

Well, your "bible" mention that swords get stuck?

I own an iaito myself. It usually gets stuck. I wouldn't want to end with a bit to my wrist because my edge became embedded in the skull of a zombie and can't get out.

Same with axes. I'll go with the pointy stick, spear or whatever that helps me keep the thing at range.

Wait, you're thinking of STABBING with the sword? Try hacking or slashing. And try aiming for the neck.

I can't see how a spear would be effective.
Throwing isn't going to do much.
Thrusting it through a head would be damn difficult to do, and then you need to pull back and thrust again, assuming it isn't stuck inside a zombie. By which time the zombie, if still moving, has come well within range of attacking you.

I'd go for mace myself, except the problem of being covered in bits of zombie flesh. A sword would also have this problem - zombie blood being flung out with the strike.

Actually, there wouldn't be that much blood since zombie blood isn't pumping any more. And unless you swing that mace hard, the head will just implode. And if you know how to wield one, a spear isn't that bad. Kind of hard to use in tight corridors, though.

But they can keep banging on things - enough time and he might have unlocked the door just through sheer luck.

I'm thinking of that scene in Romero's 'Day of the Dead' where the zombies keep banging on the elevator doors - eventually one of them inadvertently hits the 'open' button. Then the guy inside, who's now a zombie, leads them to where the remaining humans are.

Buffaw! Remebering something from your past life? Impossible! But I guess banging enough MIGHT unlock something.

And keep in mind, if you get any of the zombie inside of your eyes or mouth or an open wound, you're infected. You'd want a clean cut. No blood will spray because it's coagulated, which is why the neck is a prime target.

Spear would be good if you could cut the neck from a distance, but that would require considerable training in the weapon's handling.

I think what he actually suggested was some type of trident so you could stab and twist the head off from a distance.

If you read the ZSG, you know the head is what you should be aiming for. And he suggested the Shaolin Spade.

It's possible but not likely. Regardless, even if he'd gotten down and opened the door, you could get up the stairs and taken them out one at a time from above. Best place to be, the attic. You can shoot all you want, and they can't get you. Second-best is up at the top of stairs.

With the stairs destroyed, of course. Too bad there's the food and water problem... Not to mention rotting corpses...

Decapitation, my friend, is not an easy feat. Even more if you are looking to perform it flawlessly several times in a row. So unless you are a fantasy hero (this is fantasy in any case) Samurai swords are useless. A pick, however, to the skull, looks like a nice strategy.

Stop calling it fantasy. Now. And if a watermelon DOES in fact have the consistency of human skin, and if a 60 something vet can slice through it, I can too.

You're thinking 28 Days Later Zombies. Or ZSG zombies, I guess - same thing. Blah blah blah, zombies with AIDS.



Team tactics would work well. One guy with a spear or other polearm sticks the zombie, fixing it in place. The other bashes the head in with a bludgeon and helps remove spear. Not very good for a melee against a bunch of zombies, of course, but - nothing is.

Actually, contact with any bodily fluids from a zombie with any open part of your body will most probably result in infection. Of course, it takes several hours to become a zombie in reality, not like the 28DL "zombies", which you really can't consider zombies.

That'd take too much effort. Do what the guys in Shaun of the Dead did. Just take turns whacking him so he doesn't know which one of you to go for. :D

Well, in everything I've ever heard about zombies, they're incredibly contagious. Their entire body, even their skin, is infected with either a virus or chemical or radioactivity or some sort of contagion.

And team tactics don't work well. In a situation like this you can really only depend on yourself, because anyone else could snap and screw everyone over by doing something stupid.

Actually, as stated above, bodily fluids are all you need to worry about.

And it's one zombie. Not multiple zombies. If one person screws up, oh well.

I've never heard that. If they're that bad, may as well just give up and not worry about fighting. Seriously.



Oh, they work well as long as you don't choose unstable compadres. But again if that is the case, may as well give up!

I have a fatalistic attitude about zombies... there is a point where it's hopeless to resist, and if you have to fight your team as well, you'll just wind up either losing, or being alone and insane. (I'm already alone and insane though. I wouldn't even be in a situation where I'd have to fight zombies at all, I got my retreat.)
Nah, don't worry.

And once again, ONE ZOMBIE. If you have three guys working on him, one guy screwing up isn't much consequence. One human, trained, well supplied, etc., is more than a match for any zombie.

I prefer having a few 9mm handy instead of a rifle, but if I was to use a rifle I'd have to go winchester. Not for Shaun of the Dead reasons, but simply because it's a great single-shot rifle with decent accuracy and ammo supply. It's the type of rifle I've been brought up on.

And I've used swords before, albeit, without a 'master trainer' or anything, but I've read books, seen movies, and practiced enough with the things to be confident enough, much more than an aluminum bat. I don't like dealing with blunt objects, not my style - I just don't do well with them. The pickaxe is an alternative, but suffers axe-syndrome - heavy swing, takes time, takes precision. You miss and the pick goes too far forward, you're essentially pulling the zombie towards you.

Hey man, if all you have if a blunt weapon, you better use it. And believe me, you want a primary weapon, not just a handgun. Handguns are only good for close combat, or when your primary runs out of ammo. Never rely on handguns for primary weapons.

If you've heard of zombies, you know they're contagious. That's why you turn into them if you're bitten, because the contagion goes from the mouth to the wound they inflict. Only makes sense if their nails and flesh are similarly contaminated.

Also, -everyone- is unstable in this situation. It's always a risk when you depend on someone else in a thing like this, especially when you can do just as well by yourself, or protecting someone who won't have to do anything.

God damnit... Once again, ONLY BODILY FLUIDS. It's the only thing the disease contaminates, as they are the quickest way to get to the brain. I don't think infecting skin would be a quick way to get to the brain, do you?

No shit.

The latter doesn't follow. Biology is ripe with examples of saliva and mouth containing a disease but not the skin or nails. I maintain that zombification only occurs if you die and/or are bitten by a zombie. (Of course, since they're corpses, getting scratched would not be a good thing healthwise anyway, due to other, non-zombifying infections.)

You can't become a zombie if you die before you are infected. Solanum just can't travel through dead blood. And if you get ANY kind of bodily fluid, not just a bite, inside of you from a zombie, you will turn.

Arrr, accordin to the Guide, the dread virus be spread only by the tooth of the damned breaking yer skin (Saliva is the only transmission method of Solanum according to the ZSG)
But be-wares, the skin and nails of the walkin' dead be plenty of plague for all, though ye not be turned to undeath, ye may get a touch of scurvy... or worse.

Well, seems like you have a wrong idea. The ZSG clearly states ANY bodily fluids can cause infection, not just saliva.

You can't become a zombie if you die before you are infected.

Is that what the ZSG says? Sorry, the ZSG is wrong. Zombies rise from the recently dead. I researched it heavily, *and* I read the ZSG. It's good, with regards to survivalism and helps incourage planning and objectivity... but it is not the fundamental truth, particularly with "Solanum" which the author admits has never been found, let alone studied or confirmed or even heard of.

Or, of course, you have new DotD zombies, which don't arise from the recently dead but only from infectees. In that way they are like 28DL zombies. But Romero zombies, the original strains you see, had a less "virus outbreak" gift-wrapped explanation. :p

My whole response, gone, because of Jolt. Anyways...

The government has everything.

And I think most aliens are peaceful. Even if they weren't I doubt tinfoil hats would protect us against laser guns.

Unfortunately for you, your "combat tactics" are designed for combat against human beings, not the undead. Also, what guns do you have? Also, since zombies can only be killed via destruction of the brain, what are the chances of an explosion killing them? And lastly, how effective do you think a car, truck, or quad would be when the street is destroyed and filled with wrecked cars?

Lastly, do you know how many grammar and truth babies you killed with that paragraph?

just got back home...glad to see this thread still going.

truth babies?
grammar babies?

i will admit to horrid spelling,but grammar and truth..never!(well maybe grammar also)

combat tactics will be your only edge against undead retards with minimum brain function....pretty significant edge really.
as the brain is the most powerfull weapon...but you knew that.

umm..as far as explosions,guess you never saw a significant exsplosive blast.they tend to not only destroy the body and head...but also leave little more to pick up then a good hose can take care of.

and again..."streets wrecked with burnt out cars"...what part of quads and dirtbikes dont you understand?

i have to assume you are unfamiliar with them also(quads and dirtbikes)as the purpose of aforementioned devices is to traverse precisely the situation you have spelled out.
i suppose if i can ride a dirtbike or quad along a rutted trail,on a cliff edge,and jump over obstacles..i can manage to negotiate a street strewn with burnt out cars!

your next point...guns...hmmm
(which will be not needed with decent squad level tactics against brain dead retards using exsplosives and booby traps)

i have a .270 sniper rifle...for plinking said zombies at great distance.
i have a shotgun with rifled slug barrels for using saboted slugs(good to 150 yards,or hands length)
pistol grip and 18.5 inch barrel for clearing rooms with above mentioned shotgun.
28 inch barrel(for same shotgun) with a multitude of chokes for adjusting the pattern for kills out to 50 yards.

my personal fave,an ak-47 for just plain blasting away with 10 -30 round mags.

a 45-70 lever action for wtf..i just like it for up too 200 yard shots.

and umm..some pistols,.38 snubbie with +p's for real close stuff,a .45acp springfield xd with 2 mags(14 rounders),a taurus .44 mag with deer killing loads out to 100 yards,and i forgot..my all time fave...a 14 round marlin .22 with a scope,loaded with hollow points.

i guess if i get bit..i deserve it..lol

then again you can always toss molotovs at them if need be.

thanks for an interesting thread...but i don't need to read a book about zombies to be prepared...i was a boyscout.

never under estimate booby traps by the way.

a dead fall filled with retarded zombies can be easily ended with some gasoline.

thanks for the thread...i love this shit...lol

Buffaw! Remebering something from your past life? Impossible! But I guess banging enough MIGHT unlock something.
Have you not seen Romero's latest 'Dead' installment?
The Zombies in that movie were all doing things from their past lives, and were shown to use simple reasoning skills to get inside the human compound and attack.
Romero also showed this sort of (slightly) higher level thinking starting to occur in his earlier, "Day of the Dead".



Personally I still can't see how a Zombie would survive more than a few months. Not the rotting part - though surely extermities would fall off and eventually make them immobile - but the energy needed to continue moving.
Nutirents and oxygen are conveyed around the body via the circulatory system. Oxygen is necessary to convert stored energy into metabolic energy.
This is called the Krebs (or citric acid) cycle, incidently.

In Zombies, the blood is congealed, right? Thus the circulatory system isn't working. Which means no oxygen (they also don't breathe, which definitely hinders oxygen circulation) to the muscles, no Krebs cycle and hence no energy to move said muscles. Upon becoming a Zombie, they'll just flop down and be unable to move.


Even if the process of Zombification alters a person's physiology so they can break down stored energy (fat mainly, but also muscle eventually) without oxygen, we still have a couple of other issues that need resolving:

The Brain can't use fat for energy - only glucose transported thru blood. Again - no blood flow, no glucose, no energy. No brain activity and thus no movement.

Again, let's assume that they can keep functioning somehow. Next problem: When breaking down fat into energy, the body creates toxins. These toxins are flushed out via the circulatory system. If this doesn't happen, the toxins build up until they destroy the muscle tissue. Dehydration accelerates this process (and Zombies don't drink, so this will happen quickly).
I read of a man who entered a race in the Aussie Outback. He didn't hydrate enough. As a result of dehydration and toxin overload, his muscles literally jellified - iirc, he lost both legs, one arm, suffered brain damage and was in a coma for several weeks.
If a zombie is still breaking down fat for energy, the toxins will be doing this to them. After a few days, at the most, said toxins would destroy their bodies.

Again, let's assume the virus changes the human physiology so radically that it can convert stored energy to metabolic energy without the Krebs cycle, without creating toxins and without the circulatory system working.

New Problem: The average man weighs 80kgs and is 20% bodyfat, 15% Skeleton.
20% fat = 16kgs, or 144000 calories
Said Average Man, when living would need ~2000 calories a day. A Zombie would naturally use less, but how much is debateable. While it's internal organs are no longer being used, it doesn't sleep and it shambles about constantly. I would argue that it would still be using around 1/4 of those calories. 500 calories a day = 20 an hour. To put this in perspective, you would use 20 calories in 3 minutes of walking at a 5kph pace. So a shambling Zombie would surely use 20 calories in 60 minutes!

If it doesn't eat - and it's debateable whether it's hunger for living flesh would give it energy or not (how can it break it down?) - this means it could live for a total of 288 days (144000/500) before completely running out of energy from fat and so collapsing in a heap.
And it wouldn't be 288 days either. As it can't move energy around it's body (again, no circulatory system), it's muscles can only use the fat stored around it. So, once the fat stored around the arms have been used, it wouldn't be able to move them. Once the fat around legs have been used, it couldn't walk.
If it then started breaking down muscle for energy, it could keep going for a little longer. 35% of the body is fat or skeleton. Another 15% is skin, 2% is brain and internal organs around another 10-15%. Thus muscle mass is only around 1/3 of the human body.
This is 26kgs in our Average Man, or another 100000 calories (Protein has less calories than Fat). ie. another 200 days, maximum, before the Zombie has burnt up his entire muscle mass: 488 days in total, around 16 months.

In the last few months, it wouldn't be shambling about either. Having burnt up the fat, then the muscles, in it's legs it would soon fall flat on it's face.

Massive Zombie outbreak? One year, then it'll be over I say.

I have heard all kinds of arguments against Zombies. but for the life of me I don't think any of them even came close to 'zombies violate the law of conservation of energy'
just for that, you get a cookie.

I have heard all kinds of arguments against Zombies. but for the life of me I don't think any of them even came close to 'zombies violate the law of conservation of energy'
just for that, you get a cookie.

can i have a cookie,as i am hungry.

and i will have to second your props....zombies dont conserve energy..lol..

but i have peanut butter sandwiches and a decent scope.

.

Massive Zombie outbreak? One year, then it'll be over I say.


One year would be more than enough time to destroy civillization as we know it.

The major metropolitan centers would be the worst hit, and most heavily infested.
Zombies will pop up, where ever there are people.

More people=more food=more zombies.

Within one week a major metro area would be fully consumed and 99% of the population dead, or Undead.

Within months, every city in the world could be infested.

If city societies break down, supplies lines break.

The safest place?

Not the Mall...

a prison.

Its got supplies..and weapons, and lots and lots of security.

I have heard all kinds of arguments against Zombies. but for the life of me I don't think any of them even came close to 'zombies violate the law of conservation of energy'
just for that, you get a cookie.

Yay, a cookie!
mmmf..mmmf..grmf...

not enough! more cookies! Give me more cookies!
http://img129.echo.cx/img129/5936/cookiemonster6jc.jpg

Is that what the ZSG says? Sorry, the ZSG is wrong. Zombies rise from the recently dead. I researched it heavily, *and* I read the ZSG. It's good, with regards to survivalism and helps incourage planning and objectivity... but it is not the fundamental truth, particularly with "Solanum" which the author admits has never been found, let alone studied or confirmed or even heard of.

Or, of course, you have new DotD zombies, which don't arise from the recently dead but only from infectees. In that way they are like 28DL zombies. But Romero zombies, the original strains you see, had a less "virus outbreak" gift-wrapped explanation. :p

So you're telling me a virus can infect dead cells? And he says it has never been found in nature. And it has been studied in infected individuals.

<SNIP>

Poor lil' truth babies...

I hope you know only headshots kill. That means that going fully-auto with an AK will result in, well, nothing. Neither will shotguns. It's kind of hard for a pellet to penetrate the skull and destroy the brain.

Have you not seen Romero's latest 'Dead' installment?
The Zombies in that movie were all doing things from their past lives, and were shown to use simple reasoning skills to get inside the human compound and attack.
Romero also showed this sort of (slightly) higher level thinking starting to occur in his earlier, "Day of the Dead".



Personally I still can't see how a Zombie would survive more than a few months. Not the rotting part - though surely extermities would fall off and eventually make them immobile - but the energy needed to continue moving.
Nutirents and oxygen are conveyed around the body via the circulatory system. Oxygen is necessary to convert stored energy into metabolic energy.
This is called the Krebs (or citric acid) cycle, incidently.

In Zombies, the blood is congealed, right? Thus the circulatory system isn't working. Which means no oxygen (they also don't breathe, which definitely hinders oxygen circulation) to the muscles, no Krebs cycle and hence no energy to move said muscles. Upon becoming a Zombie, they'll just flop down and be unable to move.


Even if the process of Zombification alters a person's physiology so they can break down stored energy (fat mainly, but also muscle eventually) without oxygen, we still have a couple of other issues that need resolving:

The Brain can't use fat for energy - only glucose transported thru blood. Again - no blood flow, no glucose, no energy. No brain activity and thus no movement.

Again, let's assume that they can keep functioning somehow. Next problem: When breaking down fat into energy, the body creates toxins. These toxins are flushed out via the circulatory system. If this doesn't happen, the toxins build up until they destroy the muscle tissue. Dehydration accelerates this process (and Zombies don't drink, so this will happen quickly).
I read of a man who entered a race in the Aussie Outback. He didn't hydrate enough. As a result of dehydration and toxin overload, his muscles literally jellified - iirc, he lost both legs, one arm, suffered brain damage and was in a coma for several weeks.
If a zombie is still breaking down fat for energy, the toxins will be doing this to them. After a few days, at the most, said toxins would destroy their bodies.

Again, let's assume the virus changes the human physiology so radically that it can convert stored energy to metabolic energy without the Krebs cycle, without creating toxins and without the circulatory system working.

New Problem: The average man weighs 80kgs and is 20% bodyfat, 15% Skeleton.
20% fat = 16kgs, or 144000 calories
Said Average Man, when living would need ~2000 calories a day. A Zombie would naturally use less, but how much is debateable. While it's internal organs are no longer being used, it doesn't sleep and it shambles about constantly. I would argue that it would still be using around 1/4 of those calories. 500 calories a day = 20 an hour. To put this in perspective, you would use 20 calories in 3 minutes of walking at a 5kph pace. So a shambling Zombie would surely use 20 calories in 60 minutes!

If it doesn't eat - and it's debateable whether it's hunger for living flesh would give it energy or not (how can it break it down?) - this means it could live for a total of 288 days (144000/500) before completely running out of energy from fat and so collapsing in a heap.
And it wouldn't be 288 days either. As it can't move energy around it's body (again, no circulatory system), it's muscles can only use the fat stored around it. So, once the fat stored around the arms have been used, it wouldn't be able to move them. Once the fat around legs have been used, it couldn't walk.
If it then started breaking down muscle for energy, it could keep going for a little longer. 35% of the body is fat or skeleton. Another 15% is skin, 2% is brain and internal organs around another 10-15%. Thus muscle mass is only around 1/3 of the human body.
This is 26kgs in our Average Man, or another 100000 calories (Protein has less calories than Fat). ie. another 200 days, maximum, before the Zombie has burnt up his entire muscle mass: 488 days in total, around 16 months.

In the last few months, it wouldn't be shambling about either. Having burnt up the fat, then the muscles, in it's legs it would soon fall flat on it's face.

Massive Zombie outbreak? One year, then it'll be over I say.

Wait wait wait wait WAIT! You're taking advice on zombies from ENTERTAINMENT?!?! Dear god man... Realize what I've been telling you! These movies are made PURELY for entertainment, not what so ever for educations.

Read the book before making assumptions on zombie physiology. Zombie physiology is nearly completely different than that of humans.

Just barly
70% Survival raiting
That was close, you're lucky

One year would be more than enough time to destroy civillization as we know it.

The major metropolitan centers would be the worst hit, and most heavily infested.
Zombies will pop up, where ever there are people.

More people=more food=more zombies.

Within one week a major metro area would be fully consumed and 99% of the population dead, or Undead.

Within months, every city in the world could be infested.

If city societies break down, supplies lines break.

The safest place?

Not the Mall...

a prison.

Its got supplies..and weapons, and lots and lots of security.

Not to mention gardens and books to research from. And if you get one of the "classic" prison with concrete walls and such, you can be assured no zombies can get in. Just wait the 3-5 years it takes for 80% of them to decay. Then start an entirely new civilization.

Of course, I would perfer going to my little "disaster shelter" up in the mountains. Much more remote than any prison.

Just barly
67% Survival raiting
That was close, you're lucky



My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

i got 66% survival rate, better than 99% of people....W00T

Hey, I got 60% and that was better than 99%, too. Too bad I died.

Wait wait wait wait WAIT! You're taking advice on zombies from ENTERTAINMENT?!?! Dear god man... Realize what I've been telling you! These movies are made PURELY for entertainment, not what so ever for educations.

Read the book before making assumptions on zombie physiology. Zombie physiology is nearly completely different than that of humans.

So, having read the book, can you explain how zombies function without defying the laws of thermodynamics?


Oh, and my new zombie virus will be ready sometime this week, which will invalidate most of the information in ZSG.

On another note, why on earth would the government want to cover up the existence of zombeis? If they admitted it they could up taxes to pay for anti-zombie measures(research a vaccine/cure, special training for police/army, zombie corpse destruction facilities, etc)

Read the book before making assumptions on zombie physiology. Zombie physiology is nearly completely different than that of humans.
So different that it can enable a zombie to survive for 5 years, when it has only ~250 000 calories worth of it's own flesh to metabolise?
Walking at just 1mph (which is about the speed of a zombie stagger) burns 100 calories in a human. So let's say 50 in a zombie. If it was to use up every single bit of fat and muscle in it's body for energy, it would have, maximum, 5000 hours - just 208 days (7 months) - before it wasted away to nothing more than bones, skin, brain, and a few rotten organs.

I cannot see how it could change so radically that it could survive just from it's own stores.

In my post above, I didn't even take into consideration the rate of decay on the flesh, which would certainly drop the amount of calories available. Also once decay really sets in, the flesh couldn't be utilised for calories. Cuts down the total available calories.
And of course there would come a point where it had burnt up so much muscle in it's legs, they wouldn't be able to support the zombie, let alone move. Again, reducing the total possible # of calories available.

Thus I can't see a zombie (without fresh human flesh to feed on) could last more than a few months - 3 tops - before keeling over. And that's assuming that it can metabolise fat/muscle without oxygen and wouldn't create toxic muscle-destroying by-products in the process.


If you are going to go off and hide somewhere, surely the hotter the place the better. Zombies aren't reknown for their acumen and afaik don't take percautions when it comes to being out in the Sun - you never see one applying sunblock for instance. A couple of weeks staggering around in the baking hot desert Sun would surely fry them.

So different that it can enable a zombie to survive for 5 years, when it has only ~250 000 calories worth of it's own flesh to metabolise?
Walking at just 1mph (which is about the speed of a zombie stagger) burns 100 calories in a human. So let's say 50 in a zombie. If it was to use up every single bit of fat and muscle in it's body for energy, it would have, maximum, 5000 hours - just 208 days (7 months) - before it wasted away to nothing more than bones, skin, brain, and a few rotten organs.

I cannot see how it could change so radically that it could survive just from it's own stores.

In my post above, I didn't even take into consideration the rate of decay on the flesh, which would certainly drop the amount of calories available. Also once decay really sets in, the flesh couldn't be utilised for calories. Cuts down the total available calories.
And of course there would come a point where it had burnt up so much muscle in it's legs, they wouldn't be able to support the zombie, let alone move. Again, reducing the total possible # of calories available.

Thus I can't see a zombie (without fresh human flesh to feed on) could last more than a few months - 3 tops - before keeling over. And that's assuming that it can metabolise fat/muscle without oxygen and wouldn't create toxic muscle-destroying by-products in the process.


If you are going to go off and hide somewhere, surely the hotter the place the better. Zombies are reknown for their acumen and afaik don't take percautions when it comes to being out in the Sun. A couple of weeks staggering around in the baking hot desert Sun would surely fry them.

It seems you win the thread. Nice.

I keep a supply of weisswurst on hand, just to distract them if I have to run.

Just throw several pieces on the ground, and watch them have at it. Gives you the ability to run away, while saving your strength and firepower.

I keep a supply of weisswurst on hand, just to distract them if I have to run.

Just throw several pieces on the ground, and watch them have at it. Gives you the ability to run away, while saving your strength and firepower.

Fool, everyone knows zombies hate weisswurst!

You guys fail to see the commercial uses for zombies. Take a brain, tie it on a stick at the end of thier noses and you could use them to plow fields and generate eletricity till they waste away. Then just replace with new zombie. Everyone knows there is no shortage of zombies. You could use them to work ski lifts on slopes, you could tie one up in the front yard in place of a guard dog, no pesky kids will be retrieving baseballs off your front yard ill bet!! OHOH what about batteling zombies!! Smear chicken blood on one or something and see if you can get them to turn on each other. I KNOW you could sell the fights on pay per view! Chuck Norris zombie vs Sylvester Stalone zombie(or not as a zombie, who can tell the difference anyway)...The possibilities are endless.

Maybe zombies would gain the ability of photosynthesis? Then they don't need to eat at all. They just continue to eat because it's a basic need..

Poor lil' truth babies...

I hope you know only headshots kill. That means that going fully-auto with an AK will result in, well, nothing. Neither will shotguns. It's kind of hard for a pellet to penetrate the skull and destroy the brain.

Shotguns don't just fire pellets, A shot-gun slub would probably be the single most effective way to kill a zombie on a one-for one basis. A shot-gun slug at only a few feet starts to key-hole something aweful and would easily cause a movie-esque 'head-splosion' in a normal healthy human, let alone a dead and decaying one.

Also, the ZSG says that you can't just let off an automatic burst at head height to kill off a group of zombies, but in practice, the majority of humans' height vary less than the vertical dimensions of the brain-casing, meaning that for any given group of zombies there will be a common height that will score a kill in most of the zombies, and many automatic weapons have a built in 'Circle Error Probability' (CEP) that basically means that on full auto, it is not just a line of fire from the barrel to where it is aimed, it is actually a cone of fire in which the bullets have a statistically even distribution. So, if you set your AK to rock and roll and then let go at close enough to head height, you will probably end up killing a large number of zombies.

Liek I've said, Brooks knows his survival stuff, but when it comes to weapons and acual combat, even against a Zombified foe, he could use a little more research.

So, having read the book, can you explain how zombies function without defying the laws of thermodynamics?


Oh, and my new zombie virus will be ready sometime this week, which will invalidate most of the information in ZSG.

On another note, why on earth would the government want to cover up the existence of zombeis? If they admitted it they could up taxes to pay for anti-zombie measures(research a vaccine/cure, special training for police/army, zombie corpse destruction facilities, etc)

Government: They don't want "anti-zombie" measures. They are using them to their own advantage, researching it, making it more deadly, trying to turn it in to a biological weapon.

So different that it can enable a zombie to survive for 5 years, when it has only ~250 000 calories worth of it's own flesh to metabolise?
Walking at just 1mph (which is about the speed of a zombie stagger) burns 100 calories in a human. So let's say 50 in a zombie. If it was to use up every single bit of fat and muscle in it's body for energy, it would have, maximum, 5000 hours - just 208 days (7 months) - before it wasted away to nothing more than bones, skin, brain, and a few rotten organs.

I cannot see how it could change so radically that it could survive just from it's own stores.

In my post above, I didn't even take into consideration the rate of decay on the flesh, which would certainly drop the amount of calories available. Also once decay really sets in, the flesh couldn't be utilised for calories. Cuts down the total available calories.
And of course there would come a point where it had burnt up so much muscle in it's legs, they wouldn't be able to support the zombie, let alone move. Again, reducing the total possible # of calories available.

Thus I can't see a zombie (without fresh human flesh to feed on) could last more than a few months - 3 tops - before keeling over. And that's assuming that it can metabolise fat/muscle without oxygen and wouldn't create toxic muscle-destroying by-products in the process.


If you are going to go off and hide somewhere, surely the hotter the place the better. Zombies aren't reknown for their acumen and afaik don't take percautions when it comes to being out in the Sun - you never see one applying sunblock for instance. A couple of weeks staggering around in the baking hot desert Sun would surely fry them.

One thing you have COMPLETELY forgotten. Zombies don't decay and use energy like regular humans.

One thing you have COMPLETELY forgotten. Zombies don't decay and use energy like regular humans.

They'd probably break though.

You forgot that.

after that long, I bet their exposed bones would (eventually) erode and crack.

if not, the oxygen would destroy their organics.
Or maybe...

Maybe a good kick in teh nutz would do the trick...

My score on The Zombie Survival Test:

**************************************

Not bad
(72% Survival raiting)

"Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies"

**************************************

Take it!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15339620357865610133

Ok, so I should probably be safe when the dead rise to feast on the flesh of the living.

One thing you have COMPLETELY forgotten. Zombies don't decay and use energy like regular humans.

but they still use energy.
Every time a Zombie takes one of those signature shambling steps, or lets loose with a blood-curdling wail, that energy has to come from somewhere. Since it doesn't come from food like in humans, where does it come from?

- Standard Bushmaster w/ M68 CCO
- 18 mags (30 rounds ea.)
* 12 on BHI Omega vest
* 3 ea in 2 GI ammo pouches
- 3, 20 round mags by sector stakes (bay window)
- 1911 on right thigh
- 15 mags spread throughout
- 12 ga. Semi-auto
- a whole fuckload of shells wherever I can put them. Majority would be in a SAW pouch.
- Chain Saw (don't have a sword)
- Ruger GP100 in shoulder holster

but they still use energy.
Every time a Zombie takes one of those signature shambling steps, or lets loose with a blood-curdling wail, that energy has to come from somewhere. Since it doesn't come from food like in humans, where does it come from?

Solanum. Max doesn't say it in his book, but due to research of my own I have discovered Solanum is completely self-sufficient.

- Standard Bushmaster w/ M68 CCO
- 18 mags (30 rounds ea.)
* 12 on BHI Omega vest
* 3 ea in 2 GI ammo pouches
- 3, 20 round mags by sector stakes (bay window)
- 1911 on right thigh
- 15 mags spread throughout
- 12 ga. Semi-auto
- a whole fuckload of shells wherever I can put them. Majority would be in a SAW pouch.
- Chain Saw (don't have a sword)
- Ruger GP100 in shoulder holster

And you think you can carry that all while running?

And you think you can carry that all while running?

I can go 12 miles in about 2 hours and five minutes, carrying all that. On foot.

Done it more than once.

I can go 12 miles in about 2 hours and five minutes, carrying all that. On foot.

Done it more than once.

That's two rifles, two handguns, a chainsaw, note of which has limited fuel, fifteen magazines for a 1911, eighteen magazines for a Bushmaster, and a "whole fuckload", which I assume to mean approximately twenty shells.

That comes out to well over a hundred pounds. You can really run with that on? For twelve miles?

Solanum. Max doesn't say it in his book, but due to research of my own I have discovered Solanum is completely self-sufficient.

self sufficient how? sure it may be 'self sufficient' while inactive, but once it starts doing things (like growing and altering the structure of a Human to become zombified) it is by definition expending energy, energy which has to come from somewhere.

Poor lil' truth babies...

I hope you know only headshots kill. That means that going fully-auto with an AK will result in, well, nothing. Neither will shotguns. It's kind of hard for a pellet to penetrate the skull and destroy the brain.


never said full auto now did i?

i am a big believer in aimed fire,or burst fire at the most,unless you have a crew served weapon.

Poor lil' truth babies...

I hope you know only headshots kill. That means that going fully-auto with an AK will result in, well, nothing. Neither will shotguns. It's kind of hard for a pellet to penetrate the skull and destroy the brain.

really sure about your shotgun thoughts?

as i found a guy in the pines one night that took a glancing shotgun blast to his head(birdshot..not 000 or 00 or a slug)and he did not fair to well.

his buddy negligently discharged a shotgun from about 30 feet and winged his boy in the head,trust me,as i came upon them moments later.he was not well.
we loaded him in the truck,wrapped his head in shirts...and he died before we got near the hospital.
this was with a wingshot with birdshot,not aimed fire with buck or ball..you really need to revise your thinking about shotguns.
probably thee most effective weapon at close to medium range.
and with sabots,damn accurate out too 150 yards,accurate enough for head shots at 100 yards.

oh,and the guy we found....he had no ear,his skull was missing a big chunk,as i had to try to push his brains back in to wrap it in a towel.

sorry if you just read a book and i dissagree with your enlightened opinion,but please...learn more about wound ballistics then talk to me about killing zombies.
cause shotties seem to do some serious damage at ranges i would think you would engage said zombies at.

but what do i know,i never read the book..lol

do you know anything about firearms...ever handled one?

really not trying to be mean,or sarcastic...but you seem to be an authority on zombies(which you know..dont exist) and have zero clue about weapons and there capabilities.

as for me,as i have said,i kinda know a bit about weapons and tactics...your talking about spears to defend yourself and not firearms...interesting.:sniper:

72% on that quiz, hah.

Stop the zombie victimization! Free your minds from the Humanist Propoganda! The zombies are friendly, the zombies are friendly damnit!


hahaha...they just need a hug and some free medical care....payed for by john q public...they are just misunderstood and contagious.

never mind the drain on your wallet and the drain on your blood...it's all a noble cause celebre'

So you're telling me a virus can infect dead cells?

I'm saying calling it a virus is a stupid assumption to make.

Last Christmas my family and I made a zombie attack evacuation plan.
Am I prepared, you bet your as I am.

This is only half joking too.

Not to mention gardens and books to research from. And if you get one of the "classic" prison with concrete walls and such, you can be assured no zombies can get in. Just wait the 3-5 years it takes for 80% of them to decay. Then start an entirely new civilization.

Of course, I would perfer going to my little "disaster shelter" up in the mountains. Much more remote than any prison.

But also most likely too remote to maintain steady supplies without extended forays into the nearest town.
This is assuming the nearest town hasnt been completely overrun, or thoroughly looted.

Thats why you assualt a place that already has more supplies than you'll need, lots of security and fences.

self sufficient how? sure it may be 'self sufficient' while inactive, but once it starts doing things (like growing and altering the structure of a Human to become zombified) it is by definition expending energy, energy which has to come from somewhere.

Well, to put it simply, it does indeed come from the zombie. You see, Solanum, in all it's mystery, has the strange ability in it's virusness to enhance the energy burned while performing tasks so that one calorie of zombie might be worth to it about 1,000,000 calorie of human. Also, who ever was saying that zombies can't go any amount of time without eating humans, you're forgetting one thing. Zombies can't digest. Their digestive track and stomach no longer works. So it would be impossible for them to get energy from it.

never said full auto now did i?

i am a big believer in aimed fire,or burst fire at the most,unless you have a crew served weapon.



really sure about your shotgun thoughts?

as i found a guy in the pines one night that took a glancing shotgun blast to his head(birdshot..not 000 or 00 or a slug)and he did not fair to well.

his buddy negligently discharged a shotgun from about 30 feet and winged his boy in the head,trust me,as i came upon them moments later.he was not well.
we loaded him in the truck,wrapped his head in shirts...and he died before we got near the hospital.
this was with a wingshot with birdshot,not aimed fire with buck or ball..you really need to revise your thinking about shotguns.
probably thee most effective weapon at close to medium range.
and with sabots,damn accurate out too 150 yards,accurate enough for head shots at 100 yards.

oh,and the guy we found....he had no ear,his skull was missing a big chunk,as i had to try to push his brains back in to wrap it in a towel.

sorry if you just read a book and i dissagree with your enlightened opinion,but please...learn more about wound ballistics then talk to me about killing zombies.
cause shotties seem to do some serious damage at ranges i would think you would engage said zombies at.

but what do i know,i never read the book..lol

do you know anything about firearms...ever handled one?

really not trying to be mean,or sarcastic...but you seem to be an authority on zombies(which you know..dont exist) and have zero clue about weapons and there capabilities.

as for me,as i have said,i kinda know a bit about weapons and tactics...your talking about spears to defend yourself and not firearms...interesting.:sniper:
Firstly, they do exist. Show me scientific evidence that they don't. Secondly, my step-dad is ex-navy corpsman. With that, he is a gun nut. He takes me to a private shooting range every Saturday to shoot a Beretta, Glock, .22 Revolver, .22 Rimfire rifle, and Springfield 1903, and a Winchester Repeating. I tried a shotgun once. Nearly broke my shoulder. Aiming from the hip is far too inaccurate. So I decided it's crap. My step-dad also has an M1 Carbine, but he won't let me use it. He's decided semi-autos are "too dangerous" for me. Not to mention he has a plethora of single shot and bolt actions in his shed, along with a wide array of pistols.

But also most likely too remote to maintain steady supplies without extended forays into the nearest town.
This is assuming the nearest town hasnt been completely overrun, or thoroughly looted.

Thats why you assualt a place that already has more supplies than you'll need, lots of security and fences.

Ever hear of gardening? That's how we'll survive up there.

Last Christmas my family and I made a zombie attack evacuation plan.
Am I prepared, you bet your as I am.

This is only half joking too.

This Christmas part and your family, right?

I'm saying calling it a virus is a stupid assumption to make.

Well I'm saying that until I see any other full length guides or documents detailing everything I should know about zombies, and it is speaking in all seriousness, I'm trusting the ZSG. And of course my own common sense. I don't think anything BESIDES viruses could cause something like zombism

Ever hear of gardening? That's how we'll survive up there.

You know how to grow enough food to live on indefinately?

Farm much?

Not as easy as throwing some seeds in the ground.

How ya gonna preserve all those vegetables?
Growing some wheat for bread are ya?

Corn maybe?

You know how to grow enough food to live on indefinately?

Farm much?

Not as easy as throwing some seeds in the ground.

How ya gonna preserve all those vegetables?
Growing some wheat for bread are ya?

Corn maybe?

I've done it before. My step-dad is an ex-navy corpsman from Vietnam. He makes me know survival skills for the wilderness. Sure, it's back breaking work that takes a hell of a long time to get done, but it's a hell of a lot safe than going back down to the city to get supplies. And we'll eat the vegetables etc as soon as they are ready. No wheats or grains, yet.

I've done it before. My step-dad is an ex-navy corpsman from Vietnam. He makes me know survival skills for the wilderness. Sure, it's back breaking work that takes a hell of a long time to get done, but it's a hell of a lot safe than going back down to the city to get supplies. And we'll eat the vegetables etc as soon as they are ready. No wheats or grains, yet.

Then I suggest you learn to can vegetables and bring an awful lot of vitamins with you.

No protein in veggies ya know.

No grain means no bread, or food for any livestock you may want to keep.

You know how to grow enough food to live on indefinately?

Farm much?

Not as easy as throwing some seeds in the ground.

How ya gonna preserve all those vegetables?
Growing some wheat for bread are ya?

Corn maybe?

It's definitely not easy - either from a perspective of planning or work. It is something that demands nearly constant attention, especially if you don't have the benefit of modern fertilizers and pesticides.

Organic farming (and I've only grown food on four acres, which is pretty small) is a pain in the fucking ass. And the yields are not reliable.

Canning is hard work. As is grinding wheat. Making bread from commercial yeast is easy - not so easy if you grow your own starter culture. Most of the means of canning and grinding, etc., require power - which you won't have after a while.

Growing and harvesting food, and preparing it for storage is a full time job for several people.

And you'll need a few animals as well. And cows, pigs, and chickens need to be tended and cared for as well.

Well, to put it simply, it does indeed come from the zombie. You see, Solanum, in all it's mystery, has the strange ability in it's virusness to enhance the energy burned while performing tasks so that one calorie of zombie might be worth to it about 1,000,000 calorie of human. Also, who ever was saying that zombies can't go any amount of time without eating humans, you're forgetting one thing. Zombies can't digest. Their digestive track and stomach no longer works. So it would be impossible for them to get energy from it.

umm, do you even know what a calorie is? It's a unit of energy. so sayign that solanum can take 1 calorie and turn it into 1 million calories without at some point breaking the universe, is like saying that you can make 1 million sandwiches from one sandwhich without making any sandwiches in-between, it just doesn't work like that.

umm, do you even know what a calorie is? It's a unit of energy. so sayign that solanum can take 1 calorie and turn it into 1 million calories without at some point breaking the universe, is like saying that you can make 1 million sandwiches from one sandwhich without making any sandwiches in-between, it just doesn't work like that.

I wasn't saying it made it 1,000,000 calories, I'm saying it extends it's usage to the point of it essentially being 1,000,000 human calories.

I wasn't saying it made it 1,000,000 calories, I'm saying it extends it's usage to the point of it essentially being 1,000,000 human calories.

but thats not possible, all you've done is change 'made 1,000,000 sandwiches' to 'made one sandwich as filling as 1,000,000 sandwiches'
a calorie is not some arbitrary measure that can be used sparingly, A calorie is a concrete, discrete unit of energy, the act of movement takes x number of calories whether the movement is done by a kitten or a person or a jellyfish or a zombie, you can't just say 'zombies only use 1e-9 calories to do the work of one calorie' because a calorie is the amount of energy it takes to do that amount of work by definition.

Not bad
71% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies




My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing

Firstly, they do exist. Show me scientific evidence that they don't. Secondly, my step-dad is ex-navy corpsman. With that, he is a gun nut. He takes me to a private shooting range every Saturday to shoot a Beretta, Glock, .22 Revolver, .22 Rimfire rifle, and Springfield 1903, and a Winchester Repeating. I tried a shotgun once. Nearly broke my shoulder. Aiming from the hip is far too inaccurate. So I decided it's crap. My step-dad also has an M1 Carbine, but he won't let me use it. He's decided semi-autos are "too dangerous" for me. Not to mention he has a plethora of single shot and bolt actions in his shed, along with a wide array of pistols.

i have an 03 a3..it is a 30-06 caliber.

shotguns are deadly,but alas,one must practice.

it only hurts till your use to it...lol

i got a probably 3000-4000 rounds of .22,and in the right hands,very effective out to about 100 yards,but as i said,without boooby traps and your functioning brain...worthless.

It's definitely not easy - either from a perspective of planning or work. It is something that demands nearly constant attention, especially if you don't have the benefit of modern fertilizers and pesticides.

Organic farming (and I've only grown food on four acres, which is pretty small) is a pain in the fucking ass. And the yields are not reliable.

Canning is hard work. As is grinding wheat. Making bread from commercial yeast is easy - not so easy if you grow your own starter culture. Most of the means of canning and grinding, etc., require power - which you won't have after a while.

Growing and harvesting food, and preparing it for storage is a full time job for several people.

And you'll need a few animals as well. And cows, pigs, and chickens need to be tended and cared for as well.


thats why i am a dickhead,and just take what i need....cause i got the gun..lol

i've actually zombie proffed my house. i made detail plans on what to do in case of an attack.

gets out chainsaw and lot more weapons
yes iam prepared

Not bad
71% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies


Pfft... 71% My ash-filled fireplace!! As soon as the zombies come, the shrikes games begin.

Order of buisness:
1)Get every pointy and heavy object, and things that go boom(Including gas bottles), into large vehicle.
2)Drive to sports scene. Get armour, weapons and more pointy stuff.
3)Go to woolies/coles and get me some munchies.
4)go to six mile creek and only emerge for more munchies.

During all four steps ask all humans if they want to come. If they are a)Bleeding or b)Unresponsive... Kill them.

I would live! :)

But I'd probably screw up and get a lot of others killed... :(

but thats not possible, all you've done is change 'made 1,000,000 sandwiches' to 'made one sandwich as filling as 1,000,000 sandwiches'
a calorie is not some arbitrary measure that can be used sparingly, A calorie is a concrete, discrete unit of energy, the act of movement takes x number of calories whether the movement is done by a kitten or a person or a jellyfish or a zombie, you can't just say 'zombies only use 1e-9 calories to do the work of one calorie' because a calorie is the amount of energy it takes to do that amount of work by definition.

So you're saying that all beings on the planet use the same amount of energy?

i have an 03 a3..it is a 30-06 caliber.

shotguns are deadly,but alas,one must practice.

it only hurts till your use to it...lol

i got a probably 3000-4000 rounds of .22,and in the right hands,very effective out to about 100 yards,but as i said,without boooby traps and your functioning brain...worthless.

Who DOESN'T have that much .22 ammo... Seriously. Things are so small, so cheap. But meh. It works. And I guess booby traps might work... But unless your booby traps make sure to destroy the head, or at least leave only the torso left along with the head, they're crap.

i've actually zombie proffed my house. i made detail plans on what to do in case of an attack.

And tell me how you've done that.

gets out chainsaw and lot more weapons
yes iam prepared

And what kind of weapons are those? And do you know how heavy a chainsaw is?

Not bad
71% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies


Pfft... 71% My ash-filled fireplace!! As soon as the zombies come, the shrikes games begin.

Order of buisness:
1)Get every pointy and heavy object, and things that go boom(Including gas bottles), into large vehicle.
2)Drive to sports scene. Get armour, weapons and more pointy stuff.
3)Go to woolies/coles and get me some munchies.
4)go to six mile creek and only emerge for more munchies.

During all four steps ask all humans if they want to come. If they are a)Bleeding or b)Unresponsive... Kill them.

Heavy eh? How many times do you think you could swing heavy objects or thrust them (if you're talking about point-heavy objects)? And unless you're planning to use the "things that go boom" to scatter zombie crowds, leave it. Also, I'm assuming by going to a sports store you mean to get football gear, as that's the only kind of armor I would think to be there. Do you know how heavy that is? Do you think you could run with that on, while swinging a heavy object? And what "munchies" are you planning to bring?

And if they're bleeding, make sure it's a bite wound. They may have just shot themselves.

Nailitr, in response to your question, I've gone 12 miles overland in 2 hours and 5 minutes carrying 125 pounds of gear - on foot.

Some of that was a Javelin anti-tank missile - not exactly your compact, easy to carry item.

Nailitr, in response to your question, I've gone 12 miles overland in 2 hours and 5 minutes carrying 125 pounds of gear - on foot.

Some of that was a Javelin anti-tank missile - not exactly your compact, easy to carry item.

Jesus Christ man! I can understand that you're in the military, but still! How much do you weigh and how much of that is muscle?

Jesus Christ man! I can understand that you're in the military, but still! How much do you weigh and how much of that is muscle?

175 pounds, at about 4 to 6 percent body fat, depending on the time of year.

I'm 45 years old now, and can still kick most young people's asses by running them into the dirt.

Not that it doesn't hurt like a son of a bitch sometimes - but you're not going to hear me complain.

Heavy eh? How many times do you think you could swing heavy objects or thrust them (if you're talking about point-heavy objects)? And unless you're planning to use the "things that go boom" to scatter zombie crowds, leave it. Also, I'm assuming by going to a sports store you mean to get football gear, as that's the only kind of armor I would think to be there. Do you know how heavy that is? Do you think you could run with that on, while swinging a heavy object? And what "munchies" are you planning to bring?

And if they're bleeding, make sure it's a bite wound. They may have just shot themselves.

Heavy as in weighted up one end, so as to smash heads good.
Things that go boom are usually also things that make other things burn. Burning is good no matter what is attacking you.
football gear?? Man I'm not american, and I can think of some great shit they sell down at Toy Kingdom here that would outdo 'football gear'
I believe I mentioned a vehicle, to hell with running.
Munchies as in cans, long life milk, dried/salted meats, unripe fruit, junk food, some Iodine or similar to ensure clean water, etc.

If they bleed, I'd rather shoot them than let them be infected later. This is based on the following things:-
1)If they are dumb enough to shoot themselves, they deserve to die
2)What if in a skirmish with the Living Impared they get blood spalshed into their wound??
3)Shoot first, decapitate second, burn third, move on to next fourth. Ask questions?? never!!

Not bad
77% Survival raiting
Not bad, you killed your fair share of zombies

You scored higher than 99% on Zombie Killing.

Ha! And I don't even own any firearms and took that into account when answering the questions.

But okay, I'll admit it, it's not the first time I thought about a zombie outbreak.

Anyway, I still need to get my hands on one of these suckers
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/spalthammer.jpg

Axe, hammer, and door bell in one :D