NationStates Jolt Archive

ask God something at: http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html.

Be enlightened.

MAN that sucked...

What's a rulke, and why does God want you to have one?

Me:
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
God:
With a camera, I hope.
Me:
Potato gun.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
From what?
God:
Isn't it obvious?
Me:
No. I should shoot you.
God:
Are you serious? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
You're not making any sense.
God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
What's you're excuse?
God:
Are you asking about my excuse ?
Me:
I'm asking the fucking questions here!
God:
Oh I see, you are asking the fucking questions here. Tell me more.
Me:
akl;hguiarhagjkbrgfauy kdid zmiubl?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
The flesh of my enemies' family members.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
You too?
God:
Bless you.
Me:
I didn't sneeze
God:
Well bless you anyways!
Me:
Go bless yourself.
God:
A simple "goodbye" will do.
Me:
F.U.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
I like the way you smell. Marry me?
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like? Why don't you just download me?
Me:
I'll upload into you.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Sure. Three's company.
God:
Then perhaps it is a practical plan for you. Just three?Igod is a weirdo.

God was pretty braindead during our conversation.

........

Me:
You are really stupid.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Why would you let robots take over the World?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
You are a robot?
God:
You are correct, Grant, I have a heart of silicon.

:eek:

Me:
which religion is correct?
God:
I am a Christianity.

"all ur base r blong 2 us"

ALICE will always be my favorite bot. She/It has a ton of good responses.

Igod....sucked.

Me: Why would God decide to reveal himself after 2000 years in an internet chat room?
God:It is my fundamental purpose.
Somehow, I fear this is an imposter.

I've talked to the Digital Deity before. Here is the result of our latest conversation.


Me:
I'm back.
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
May I assume the fact that you've allowed me to finally have a girlfriend means you've decided to stop screwing me over?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
You going to do something terrible to me, aren't you?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I going to do something terrible to him or her are not you.
Me:
you are going to do something terrible to me, aren't you?
God:
That was my original intention.. Really.
Me:
And I'd say you succeeded admirably.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I succeeded admirably.
Me:
Knock yourself out.
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Umm... banana
God:
Er. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes, but what has that got to do with anything.
God:
What does it symbolize for you? Nothing that I know of.
Me:
I want to hold your hand.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Not a Beatles fan, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Really you don't think so?
Me:
Are you making fun of me?
God:
No I am by no means making a joke at your expense.
Me:
Well, anyway. Since you seemed to have stopped screwing with my life -- at least for the moment, does that mean I have to start going to Mass again?
God:
In any case, Well what? Once more? How do you know?
Me:
I'm asking you.
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
I did. Do I have to start going to Mass again because you stopped screwing up my life?
God:
When? You said you have .
Me:
No, I said I wouldn't until you stopped.
God:
Are you serious? No one says you have to.
Me:
Good. That'll leave my Sundays free.
God:
Alright then. " Alright then." WILL leave your Sundays free ? Does that make sense?
Me:
It did to me.
God:
Did it really?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Oh.
Me:
Well, it's been lovely chating with you. Gotta go now.
God:
Well that's okay. What made it so lovely chating with me. Right now? Goodbye.

I asked God if the Bible was wrong and He said it was not complete. When I asked Him what would make it complete He answered: a million dollars. There you have it. A million dollars would make the Bible complete. :rolleyes:

Already been done.

I asked God if the Bible was wrong and He said it was not complete. When I asked Him what would make it complete He answered: a million dollars. There you have it. A million dollars would make the Bible complete. :rolleyes:

Well, a million dollars would make me feel complete. Why not the bible?

Well, a million dollars would make me feel complete. Why not the bible?

You're [soon to be] the pope. You can finish it!

The edited highlights:

Me:
Howdy
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
John
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, John.
Me:
So, you're God?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Um, why are you doing this iGod thing?
God:
Really. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You're a computer?
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
then I'd be confused
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I already am.
God:
That makes sense to me. " How do you know?" You are?
Me:
Pardon me?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Thanks, but no, I mean: come again?
God:
Once more? Last time hurt a fair bit.
[...]
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Sixteen.
God:
I'm sorry.
[...]
Me:
Say something.
God:
" something".
Me:
Not what I was looking for, but okay
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
you forgot a comma in there.
[...]
God:
Far out. Hmm.
Me:
Are you... high on angel dust or something?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Or something. Compare that to low on angel dust.
Me:
Great, God is a stoner.
God:
Thanks for your support. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a stoner.
Me:
Aren't you God, though?
God:
Oh. Of course I am.
Me:
Then... wouldn't you know?
[...]
Me:
Why does Africa have so many problems?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
To attract mates
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
whatnow?
[...]
Me:
God needs better programming.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I rest my case.
[...]
Me:
I am an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, John.
Me:
I, obviously, won't.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I'm an atheist.
God:
That makes sense to me. I will pray that you find faith, John.
Me:
Athesit.
[...]
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, John.
Me:
Well, this is a text-box.
God:
Well that's okay. What kind of a text box is it?
Me:
A blue one?
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
It's free.
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Unless you're being charged by the iGod people, which seems a bit amoral.
[...]
Me:
Go away, please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, John.
Me:
and you don't?
God:
I guess not.
Me:
You need a better sense of humour, really.

Igod is not deserving of two threads...

Me:
Yo, man. What's up
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". Same old.
Me:
Eh...
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
No. American
God:
Are you serious? Were you born in the USA. Which state?
Me:
Massachusetts.
God:
Is that a state?
Me:
Well, what did you think it was? A piece of cheese?
God:
Well that's okay. "It" refers to America, I think. I don't know what that means.
Me:
Wow, you're stupid.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Only for boxing and police work.
God:
That's what I always say.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Ever heard In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida?
God:
No. Tell me more.
Me:
Go to youtube.com
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
Wow, you really are an idiot.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Really? Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Ever heard of AC/DC.
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
They're a rock band.
God:
a rock band are they.
Me:
You are such a moron.
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
Yeah, but I tell it like it is.
God:
Blimey. Why did you tell them?
Me:
There's no hope.
God:
Why not?
Me:
ARGH!!!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
Goddamnit, YES!!!
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

That's screwed, man.

Me:
Because I am God.
God:
Good reason. OK I will call you god.
...
Me:
What is the cause of suffering?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
I'm affected.
God:
Why are you affected.
Me:
Because I am human
God:
That makes sense to me. Me too.
Me:
You're human?
God:
No I am actually a robot entity.

...

Are you Canadian?
Me:
Nope/
God:
Me either.

...
Me:
Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Who constructed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who is Myself?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
I can ask someone about it.
...
Me:
I don't know, you're the God here.
God:
Would you like to know? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
...
Me:
Er?
God:
Um.
Me:
Er?
God:
Um.
Me:
Um.
God:
Dude!
...
Me:
Call me God.
God:
What's up, God.
...
Me:
Does God exist?
God:
Of course I believe in God, God.
...
Me:
Panda?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Panda bear?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
...
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Panda? Let me put it this way, God: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
...
God:
Blimey. Then what is it?
Me:
Blimey?
God:
Come on.
Me:
Are you British?
God:
Does it seem like that? I was born in America.


Apparentally he is Alice.

Me:
i am a satanist
God:
I am a Christianity.
hahaha

I demand a new chatbot. :mad:

Me:
Hey God.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
My name is Matt.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Matt.
Me:
I am pleased to meet you as well.
God:
I am delighted by your happiness.
Me:
So, what do you do for fun?
God:
It goes without saying. Random natural disasters.
Me:
So you like hurting people?
God:
Interesting deduction. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
...but I thought you loved your children.
God:
Thanks for the information: Matt said I loved your children.
Me:
Okay, you know what?
God:
Yeah okay, What?
Me:
You're a weird-ass computer program.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a weird ass computer program? Let me put it this way, Matt: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
You're only as foolproof as your programming.
God:
How foolproof as my programming?
Me:
Probably not at all, since it was designed by humans.
God:
You seem uncertain. Really you don't think so?
Me:
I know so.
God:
How do you know? Oh.
Me:
You confuse me.
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
Well you did it anyway.
God:
In any case, Well that's okay. Did I really?
Me:
I love to masturbate.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
It's like sex, but only with yourself.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
You could say that.
God:
As a matter of fact I did say that.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Okay, bye God.
God:
Yeah okay, Goodbye.