NationStates Jolt Archive

i am not a dem or a repub.....just a poor guy that loves his kids,everyone really.

i am truly at the end of the rope,i use to be kinda well off...but my kids sucked all my money away(thank god)and i am soooo tired of fighting and working.
i have options to go make money in other places,but not near my kids...and here i am drowning.
i almost wish i would succumb to the waves .

i know,sounds like me being a crybaby,but i look around at my friends,who i love,and love me..and they are all taking good care of their kids,me..i am scraping by..it is really tiring.
i cant give my kids what they need,i look and see rich dads giving their kids bimmers and i cant buy her books...my kid joined the army cause he was smart enough to realise i cant help him...jeez

sorry to sound like a pathetic loser..i am usually cocky,but i just realised i am no good dad.

for my age,i should have a house and college funds for my kids,i have none of that.

my daughter makes more money then i do waitressing,and she goes to school full time!

i love my kids more then i love me...but it is at some point..embarressing,my girl makes more money then me,while attending college..my son had to go into the military to survive...i know they love me,and one can say i sacrifised to get them there...but really....i am a fuck up...
i made soooo many mistakes as a youth,i could never get ahead.

i am pretty smart(had the parents that educated me)but i am realising,it is all lost now.
my best friend is a millionaire,he says to me...if you aint got it by now..you never will.

so i look at my kids...and see them doing without because of me...and then i look at my insurance..lol...plus i am tired.

i dont know why i am babbling here..i just feel like a piece of useless shit at the moment.

my kids are great,i am actually kinda smart,but i was arrested so many times for being dumb..maybe i aint so smart.

sometimes i think they would be better off without me to fuck them up.

rant off..i am really depressed tonight...and i guess i wanted to vent..sorry.

i'm cured...took a few moments of reading some threads here to remind me...damn i am for real...and the world....while nice...is a bunch of weenies....darfur exempt....but we all help them..no?

i'm cured...took a few moments of reading some threads here to remind me...damn i am for real...and the world....while nice...is a bunch of weenies....darfur exempt....but we all help them..no?

Hmm... well I was trying to write a long ass reply about how much of a great father you are compared alot of people, but if your cool, :)

Good luck, and listen to my sig!

Glad you are feeling better. It's good to vent sometimes. Thinking back on mistakes can be good too I guess.. as long you don't obssess over them. At least take the approach that you learned something from them mistakes.. even if it took you 20 years. Just gotta make sure to get back up and try to focus on what you do have and not what you don't have. Hard to do sometimes I know. The past is the past and you can't go back in time so just let it go and do the best you can do today. Nobody can expect anymore than that. We all have problems.. well most of us anyway. I'm not a parent .. but I understand where you are coming from about wanting to do more for them financially. You know psychiatrists & psycologists offices are packed with people who have problems stemming from their parents ignoring them, abusing them .. not showing them love or attention or what have you... but I doubt there are many in there because their folks couldn't buy them a BMW or put them through college.

Glad you are feeling better. It's good to vent sometimes. Thinking back on mistakes can be good too I guess.. as long you don't obssess over them. At least take the approach that you learned something from them mistakes.. even if it took you 20 years. Just gotta make sure to get back up and try to focus on what you do have and not what you don't have. Hard to do sometimes I know. The past is the past and you can't go back in time so just let it go and do the best you can do today. Nobody can expect anymore than that. We all have problems.. well most of us anyway. I'm not a parent .. but I understand where you are coming from about wanting to do more for them financially. You know psychiatrists & psycologists offices are packed with people who have problems stemming from their parents ignoring them, abusing them .. not showing them love or attention or what have you... but I doubt there are many in there because their folks couldn't buy them a BMW or put them through college.


you know..that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me...thank you so very much!

as a parent(a poor one)i understand that other kids have rich parents,my kid always says"dont worry about it"...but,as a parent,you cant help but feel inferior,or less then.
then her friends come up in m-5's and i am...duh...cant really afford the insurance for your pos car...but she is nice about it..i just aint nice to myself i guess.

i wish i was rich...everyone would have a party on my dime...lol...

to tired and frustrated to comment coherently..just want to say thank you...i'll be better after a few hours sleep.

Material things are important. People genuinely need to eat, their long-term well-being is enhanced in most cases by access to environmentally appropriate housing and clothing, to adequate health care and access to education and activities appropriate to their development (such as sports).

Unless I am grossly misinterpreting your post, you've managed to provide these important material things. Beyond that material things start mattering a lot less. If you've ensured your children have not gone without the material essentials, and have given of yourself to your children, I dont see how a 'bad father' label applies. If you've not provided sufficiently of yourself, well contrary to your millionaire friend's advice, I dont think it's too late to evaluate that aspect of your life and make any efforts to improve any aspects of that area that you are dissatisfied with.

I sympathise with your material/financial situation. However once again I feel a need to disagree with your friend. He doesnt need to believe that it can be got at this stage since he already has it. If acquiring money/material goods is of importance to you, you are better off making the attempt and enjoying the challenge (whatever the outcome) than resigning yourself to regretting the wasted opportunity of all your days ahead before you've even lived them. If you've really got nothing (materially speaking), then you have one thing in your favour, you've got nothing to loose. In that case, if you truely have a desire to acquire a degree of wealth, the worst result you can get from 'giving it a go' is a draw, and with a chance of winning, the only loss you can make with those odds is to not roll the dice at all.

drink more alcolhal, depresion cuexcd!

i am not a dem or a repub.....just a poor guy that loves his kids,everyone really.

i am truly at the end of the rope,i use to be kinda well off...but my kids sucked all my money away(thank god)and i am soooo tired of fighting and working.
i have options to go make money in other places,but not near my kids...and here i am drowning.
i almost wish i would succumb to the waves .

i know,sounds like me being a crybaby,but i look around at my friends,who i love,and love me..and they are all taking good care of their kids,me..i am scraping by..it is really tiring.
i cant give my kids what they need,i look and see rich dads giving their kids bimmers and i cant buy her books...my kid joined the army cause he was smart enough to realise i cant help him...jeez

sorry to sound like a pathetic loser..i am usually cocky,but i just realised i am no good dad.

for my age,i should have a house and college funds for my kids,i have none of that.

my daughter makes more money then i do waitressing,and she goes to school full time!

i love my kids more then i love me...but it is at some point..embarressing,my girl makes more money then me,while attending college..my son had to go into the military to survive...i know they love me,and one can say i sacrifised to get them there...but really....i am a fuck up...
i made soooo many mistakes as a youth,i could never get ahead.

i am pretty smart(had the parents that educated me)but i am realising,it is all lost now.
my best friend is a millionaire,he says to me...if you aint got it by now..you never will.

so i look at my kids...and see them doing without because of me...and then i look at my insurance..lol...plus i am tired.

i dont know why i am babbling here..i just feel like a piece of useless shit at the moment.

my kids are great,i am actually kinda smart,but i was arrested so many times for being dumb..maybe i aint so smart.

sometimes i think they would be better off without me to fuck them up.

rant off..i am really depressed tonight...and i guess i wanted to vent..sorry.

if you love your kids, and do what you can to help them, then that makes you a better parent than a lot of others out there. (i'm sure that's been said in this thread a lot already, heh... cos its pretty obvious to the rest of us :P)

i'm not a religious person at all, but there was always one parable that stuck in my head. that one about the rich guy coming into the synagogue loudly proclaiming how he's donating 1000 pieces of silver (or whatever it was), and expecting to be treated like a bloody saint for it. then a poor man comes in and quietly donates a piece of silver, all that he can afford.

being a good father isn't about how much money you can throw at your kids, but what you can give, and whether you do give willingly. and even then 'give' doesn't refer to money but support and love, both of which you give - or at least do your best to give - very much willingly it seems. (compared to, say, the kind of father who runs off and has to be pressed to pay child support... of which there are many like that)

i think your kids will respect you for what you do for them, and love you for it - they should be grateful, just like the synagogue up there being grateful for the poor man's donation over and above the rich man throwing some petty change around. your kids having to make their own way in life might actually do them some good, too (look at paris hilton for a rich-kid :p)

having wealthy, "successful" friends probably makes things hard though. just remember you aren't in a competition with them for your kids' love.



myself, my parents were kinda rich and working in big london firms (marketing manager of coca cola, etc), but things went tits up a few years after starting up their own company, around when i was 7. up until then i'd been a spoilt little shit with all the toys and crap i could want, big house, etc. after that things were more difficult, but i really began to appreciate what they did do for me much, much more - it was so much harder for them to send me to the same school, buy me toys, sometimes put food on the table... but they did it. and when they couldn't they did the best they could. and now, because we went through tough times together, and they sacrificed and did what they could for me (even if it wasn't everything they could do before, in terms of throwing money at me at the very least), we have a very close and strong bond of understanding, gratitude and love.
i'm saying this because you're talking about your kids. and from a kid's perspective (now 21) i've been through both experiences, and for me i wouldn't trade the understanding, gratitude and bond we share for anything - no amount of cool toys or books or anything.
simply doing what you can, even if you don't feel that's enough, can be better in the long run than doing what's easy (ie throwing money around if you got lots of it)



[/rant]



edit:

i almost wish i would succumb to the waves .
...

so i look at my kids...and see them doing without because of me...and then i look at my insurance..lol...plus i am tired.


that's not good. perhaps you need to get some support IRL for this... friends or family you can similarly 'vent' to who can give you some support while you feel like this (i, too, have felt that way... just without the insurance :p)

sorry to sound like a pathetic loser..i am usually cocky,but i just realised i am no good dad.


1. you don't sound like a "pathetic loser" to me :fluffle:

2. from what you say here, you sound like a pretty good dad to me :)