NationStates Jolt Archive


Jehovah's Witnesses.

Scarlet States
14-09-2006, 10:12
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?
Pyotr
14-09-2006, 10:52
they aren't relgious nuts, They just have some very different beliefs.
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 11:12
they aren't relgious nuts, They just have some very different beliefs.

Which they choose to tell me after ringing my doorbell at 8 am on a Saturday, when I was really looking forward to sleeping in. :rolleyes:
Orion Ascendant
14-09-2006, 11:22
Heh.They're banned in my country, Singapore.
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 11:26
They don't come to my house anymore. :)
Philosopy
14-09-2006, 11:27
What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.

You made the mistake of showing an interest (by being polite). You should have just said 'no thanks'.

I remember once when some of them came to our doorstep and spoke to my Father (a Church of England Priest and Biblical Scholar) about similar sort of things. For every Bible verse they quoted at him for why their way was the only way, he quoted another telling them why they were very nice people, but very misguided. They went away and didn't bother us again.
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 11:27
They don't come to my house anymore. :)

What did you do? Please, please, please let me know!
Hobabwe
14-09-2006, 11:30
What did you do? Please, please, please let me know!

Well, i explained how they worshipped the wrong deity, and instead should convert to the worship of Slaanesh (www.games-workshop.com, look around and see ;). Ofcourse its a fictional deity, but they didnt know that. Poor people went white as sheets when i told them about the regular bdsm sessions, sex with whatever you can find etc etc.

Strangely, they never ever showed up again :D
Peisandros
14-09-2006, 11:40
Never had them on my doorstep.. Dunno if they're allowed to here in NZ.
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 11:44
Well, i explained how they worshipped the wrong deity, and instead should convert to the worship of Slaanesh (www.games-workshop.com, look around and see ;). Ofcourse its a fictional deity, but they didnt know that. Poor people went white as sheets when i told them about the regular bdsm sessions, sex with whatever you can find etc etc.

Strangely, they never ever showed up again :D

Hehe... I'll be sure to have a similar story ready for the next time they decide to wake me up. Thanks. :D
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 11:47
While I wouldnt resort to pies in the face, or seltzer bottles filled with urine, I, like LG, have used the "scare em silly so the never come back."

I merely dumbfouned one.

Remember these guys believe that only 144,000 people will get into Heaven.

So, when they come to the door, just say: "So, if only 144,000 people are getting into Heaven, and you recruit me, arent you gonna lessen your own chances?"

Then apologize, and tell them you dont usually answer the door with clothes on becuase your a nudist, and make like your about to take your pants off.

The fastest land mammal is the Frightened Jehovah's Witness.
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 11:47
What did you do? Please, please, please let me know!

Answering the door naked, looking disappointed and saying, "Oh. I thought the donkey had arrived" is typically enough to send them on their way. As I usually wear just sweatpants around the house, it's easy enough to slip them off when I see a small group of people get out of a car wearing suits and dresses and head toward my door.

About six months ago, someone here on the forum questioned whether people actually did that or just made it up to sound 'cool'. He inferred that I was a liar. Clearly he hadn't been on the forum very long. :p

I have heard that Jehovah's Witnesses have grown used to such antics. I wouldn't know as I haven't seen them in so long. But I have a contingency plan in place just in case. If already naked and they don't immediately react, I intend to barrel past them and start chasing imaginary squirrels around my lawn. If clothed, I will say, "Pardon me for a moment, Nature Calls". Then I will drop my pants and squat down in front of them. If they aren't backing away yet, I will ask them for reading material.

I feel that this ought to do the job nicely. :)
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 11:49
Answering the door naked, looking disappointed and saying, "Oh. I thought the donkey had arrived" is typically enough to send them on their way. As I usually wear just sweatpants around the house, it's easy enough to slip them off when I see a small group of people get out of a car wearing suits and dresses and head toward my door.

About six months ago, someone here on the forum questioned whether people actually did that or just made it up to sound 'cool'. He inferred that I was a liar. Clearly he hadn't been on the forum very long. :p

I have heard that Jehovah's Witnesses have grown used to such antics. I wouldn't know as I haven't seen them in so long. But I have a contingency plan in place just in case. If already naked and they don't immediately react, I intend to barrel past them and start chasing imaginary squirrels around my lawn. If clothed, I will say, "Pardon me for a moment, Nature Calls". Then I will drop my pants and squat down in front of them. If they aren't backing away yet, I will ask them for reading material.

I feel that this ought to do the job nicely. :)

Get out of my head Clown!!


*Paws at cranuim, trying to remove microchip
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 11:52
Get out of my head Clown!!


*Paws at cranuim, trying to remove microchip

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. :)
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 11:54
You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. :)

You see, the difference is, I wouldnt actually go fully starkers.

This means, there is still time to find an antidote!

Must...resist!
NERVUN
14-09-2006, 11:55
I actually encountered them in Japan. They were very nice, but startled as all hell to have the door opened by a large American... who suddenly lost his ability to speak Japanese.

I give them brownie points for trying for 5 minutes to tell me about what they wanted to. Trying to convey religious beliefs through gestures is very hard. :D
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 11:57
I actually encountered them in Japan. They were very nice, but startled as all hell to have the door opened by a large American... who suddenly lost his ability to speak Japanese.

I give them brownie points for trying for 5 minutes to tell me about what they wanted to. Trying to convey religious beliefs through gestures is very hard. :D

A for effort.

Have you seen a doctor about that sudden language loss?
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 12:00
You see, the difference is, I wouldnt actually go fully starkers.

This means, there is still time to find an antidote!

Must...resist!

Well, there's a risk in going naked. If they call the police, and the place you were can be seen from the road or by a neighbor, then even if you are on your own property, local indecent exposure laws( if any) can be applied.

Fortunately, my house is secluded from neighbors and barely even visible from the road. Besides, my wife IS the police. :D

But if you don't have such protections, alternative means may be recommended. Might I recommend answering the door with a vibrating dildo in hand?
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 12:02
Well, there's a risk in going naked. If they call the police, and the place you were can be seen from the road or by a neighbor, then even if you are on your own property, local indecent exposure laws( if any) can be applied.

Fortunately, my house is secluded from neighbors and barely even visible from the road. Besides, my wife IS the police. :D

But if you don't have such protections, alternative means may be recommended. Might I recommend answering the door with a vibrating dildo in hand?

That might actually be an option for me... I'll have to get a really big one, though.

For effects! *cough*
NERVUN
14-09-2006, 12:05
Have you seen a doctor about that sudden language loss?
Yes I have, he keeps yelling at my wife to hurry up and teach me more Japanese because he wants me to teach him English and fix his computer.

My father-in-law is like that sometimes. :p
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:05
Well, there's a risk in going naked. If they call the police, and the place you were can be seen from the road or by a neighbor, then even if you are on your own property, local indecent exposure laws( if any) can be applied.

Some of us might be surprised that you are knowledgable about indecency laws.

Not I.


Fortunately, my house is secluded from neighbors and barely even visible from the road. Besides, my wife IS the police. :D

Damn you!
Youve gotten control of the police!


But if you don't have such protections, alternative means may be recommended. Might I recommend answering the door with a vibrating dildo in hand?

Strangely, that would be the only thing I would feel comfortable doing with it, as a single guy...


No...wait......
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:06
That might actually be an option for me... I'll have to get a really big one, though.

For effects! *cough*

Heard of "The Thor" model?

A Scandinavian favorite, apparently...
Boonytopia
14-09-2006, 12:07
My girlfriend was brought up as a JW. She's no longer one, but it's hard for her to sometimes shake off some of the weird stuff she was brought up believing.

It is a very fundamentalist sect, more like a cult than a religion, IMO. I wouldn't even call them Christians, their beliefs veer off quite sharply in many areas.

They come around every couple of months, trying to win her back. I just ignore them now if she invites them in.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:08
Yes I have, he keeps yelling at my wife to hurry up and teach me more Japanese because he wants me to teach him English and fix his computer.

My father-in-law is like that sometimes. :p

WAIT!

You say he cant fix his own computer?!

Hes no Asian!

Check for a rubber mask, quick!
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:10
My girlfriend was brought up as a JW. She's no longer one, but it's hard for her to sometimes shake off some of the weird stuff she was brought up believing.

It is a very fundamentalist sect, more like a cult than a religion, IMO. I wouldn't even call them Christians, their beliefs veer off quite sharply in many areas.

They come around every couple of months, trying to win her back. I just ignore them now if she invites them in.


No Birthdays.
No Holidays.
No fun.

Not Christmas, nor even Easter, I believe...wich is too weird for a christian sect.....
NERVUN
14-09-2006, 12:12
WAIT!

You say he cant fix his own computer?!

Hes no Asian!

Check for a rubber mask, quick!
*lol* He's a well over 60 year old Japanese doctor! Now if he was under 30 I could see that.
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 12:13
I was raised one. I only left the church twelve years ago. And when I was one, I got a kick out of the various ways people used to try to frighten us away. It became a sort of game--which one ran into the nuttiest person for the day. All a matter of perspective.
KitKat Crescent
14-09-2006, 12:13
My uncle invited them in out of interest once. Merrily discussed theology with them for about 3 hours, said they were interesting if a bit odd. They didn't get anywhere of course, and they didn't return either. seems JW on Isle of Man are a nicer bunch.
My old school vicar said JW are sworn enemies of Mormons, no idea why. If either knocks on your door, apparently say you are devout the other, and they leave. No nakedness required.
NERVUN
14-09-2006, 12:18
I was raised one. I only left the church twelve years ago. And when I was one, I got a kick out of the various ways people used to try to frighten us away. It became a sort of game--which one ran into the nuttiest person for the day. All a matter of perspective.
Yes, but how would have YOU handled facing down LG in all his, uh, glory?
Boonytopia
14-09-2006, 12:19
No Birthdays.
No Holidays.
No fun.

Not Christmas, nor even Easter, I believe...wich is too weird for a christian sect.....

Yes, very odd. I think they commemorate Passover though.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:22
*lol* He's a well over 60 year old Japanese doctor! Now if he was under 30 I could see that.

Hmm...

Is he fanatical about golf, and will pay lots of money to do it, even in small, very exspensive Japanese courses?
East of Eden is Nod
14-09-2006, 12:25
they aren't relgious nuts, They just have some very different beliefs.

The concept of "belief" is fundamentally flawed. And they are religious nuts.
Could be worse though, could be Mormon. ... or Jewish.
The Wonderous Chicken
14-09-2006, 12:25
I like to stand on the door step and argue with them, I find it quite entertain and therapeutic actually they usually try to maintain a sort of reserve it usually melts away after an hour or so of questioning and general mockery of all they believe in.
Revasser
14-09-2006, 12:25
My old school vicar said JW are sworn enemies of Mormons, no idea why. If either knocks on your door, apparently say you are devout the other, and they leave. No nakedness required.

Probably because they directly compete and market themselves to the same demographic: people who like to sleep past 8 AM on weekends.

I know some Mormons, though, and they've got so much anti-JW literature lying around their house, I think your vicar may have been onto something.
NERVUN
14-09-2006, 12:27
Hmm...

Is he fanatical about golf, and will pay lots of money to do it, even in small, very exspensive Japanese courses?
Nope, but he ALWAYS takes pictures of EVERYTHING and loves to give out his business card at the drop of a hat.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:29
Nope, but he ALWAYS takes pictures of EVERYTHING and loves to give out his business card at the drop of a hat.

Ok.

He checks out.

Carry on.
East of Eden is Nod
14-09-2006, 12:36
I like to stand on the door step and argue with them, I find it quite entertain and therapeutic actually they usually try to maintain a sort of reserve it usually melts away after an hour or so of questioning and general mockery of all they believe in.

Indeed. And they seem to know surprisingly little about Jehova... :rolleyes:
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 12:45
Indeed. And they seem to know surprisingly little about Jehova... :rolleyes:

You know, I find it odd when people mock their theology, as though the JW's theology is any more ridiculous than another religion's.
Scarlet States
14-09-2006, 12:47
You know, I find it odd when people mock their theology, as though the JW's theology is any more ridiculous than another religion's.

If you read into the JW theology, you'd see why other christians deem it a tad silly compared to their own.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:48
You know, I find it odd when people mock their theology, as though the JW's theology is any more ridiculous than another religion's.

Its a bit sillier, I think.
But not as silly as Mormonism, or Scientology.

144,000 ?

Thats awfully specific.

Usually, its anyone who coverts, or another requirement, like dying in battle or something.

Where did they get that specific number from?
Philosopy
14-09-2006, 12:51
Where did they get that specific number from?

It's in the back somewhere.

(seriously...Revelation)
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:52
It's in the back somewhere.

(seriously...Revelation)

Verse?

Chapter?
Philosopy
14-09-2006, 12:54
Verse?

Chapter?

Don't be lazy. You're just as capable of looking that up as I am.

EDIT: Ok then: Revelation 7: 2-8.

2 I saw another angel ascending from the rising of the sun, having the seal of the living God, and he called with a loud voice to the four angels who had been given power to damage earth and sea, 3 saying, "Do not damage the earth or the sea or the trees, until we have marked the servants of our God with a seal on their foreheads." 4 And I heard the number of those who were sealed, one hundred forty-four thousand, sealed out of every tribe of the people of Israel: 5 From the tribe of Judah twelve thousand sealed, from the tribe of Reuben twelve thousand, from the tribe of Gad twelve thousand, 6 from the tribe of Asher twelve thousand, from the tribe of Naphtali twelve thousand, from the tribe of Manasseh twelve thousand, 7 from the tribe of Simeon twelve thousand, from the tribe of Levi twelve thousand, from the tribe of Issachar twelve thousand, 8 from the tribe of Zebulun twelve thousand, from the tribe of Joseph twelve thousand, from the tribe of Benjamin twelve thousand sealed.
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 12:54
If you read into the JW theology, you'd see why other christians deem it a tad silly compared to their own.Check the first page--I was raised one. I know the theology as well as any practitioner. It's a matter of perspective--is door-to-door evangelism any weirder, really, than belief in transubstantiation? Is the prohibition on blood any odder than kosher dietary restrictions, or no meat on Friday's during Lent? I don't think so.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:55
Don't be lazy. You're just as capable of looking that up as I am.

Probably...

But not very willing, you see.
Minaris
14-09-2006, 12:57
The concept of "belief" is fundamentally flawed. And they are religious nuts.
Could be worse though, could be Mormon. ... or Jewish.

Or Scientology? ;) :O
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 12:57
Check the first page--I was raised one. I know the theology as well as any practitioner. It's a matter of perspective--is door-to-door evangelism any weirder, really, than belief in transubstantiation? Is the prohibition on blood any odder than kosher dietary restrictions, or no meat on Friday's during Lent? I don't think so.

Not being allowed to celebrate the day you were born?

Thats even a little weirder than an evil undead space overlord..

Well, almost as weird.
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 12:57
Its a bit sillier, I think.
But not as silly as Mormonism, or Scientology.

144,000 ?

Thats awfully specific.

Usually, its anyone who coverts, or another requirement, like dying in battle or something.

Where did they get that specific number from?

It's in Revelation. But you've got a misunderstanding of their beliefs. 144,000 go to heaven, but the rest get to stay on an earth transformed into a paradise, and get to live forever. So for them, there's no losing out--just a different reward.
Philosopy
14-09-2006, 12:58
Probably...

But not very willing, you see.

I've edited above.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 13:01
It's in Revelation. But you've got a misunderstanding of their beliefs. 144,000 go to heaven, but the rest get to stay on an earth transformed into a paradise, and get to live forever. So for them, there's no losing out--just a different reward.

So....whats the difference?

Paradise is paradise, right?

Why worry about it at all then?
KitKat Crescent
14-09-2006, 13:05
I never like these religions that say the most important decider of your eternal afterlife is which particular version of religion you follow. SO a Catholic murderer who says sorry in church goes up, and atheist do gooder goes down? Are there any that say atheists that are good people get to go to heaven/paradise etc?
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 13:07
Not being allowed to celebrate the day you were born?

Thats even a little weirder than an evil undead space overlord..

Well, almost as weird.

From my perspective as an atheist now, they're all versions of weird.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 13:07
I never like these religions that say the most important decider of your eternal afterlife is which particular version of religion you follow. SO a Catholic murderer who says sorry in church goes up, and atheist do gooder goes down? Are there any that say atheists that are good people get to go to heaven/paradise etc?

Well Buddhism comes close, but why would an atheist care?

We dont believe in any of it, right?
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 13:08
From my perspective as an atheist now, they're all versions of weird.

Agreed.

However, I think theres some that go that extra wacky-mile.
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 13:09
I was raised one. I only left the church twelve years ago. And when I was one, I got a kick out of the various ways people used to try to frighten us away. It became a sort of game--which one ran into the nuttiest person for the day. All a matter of perspective.

You tell stories about me?!? :eek:
KitKat Crescent
14-09-2006, 13:13
Well Buddhism comes close, but why would an atheist care?

We dont believe in any of it, right?

I don't believe in it, but I'm not always right. I live life as a broadly good person just because it seems right. I'll be well annoyed if some bastard beats me to paradise just because he got feared into the right temple/church/mosque, even though he was a git.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 13:15
Is it true JW's aren't allowed to vote? If so, fuck them. We already have enough of a problem with that without a religion enforcing the lack of voters.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=201

Jenova's Witness ftw.



Also, if I saw a JW, I'd tell them to GTFO my heavens, just for the sake of seeing the look on their faces when trying to decipher what "GTFO" means.
BackwoodsSquatches
14-09-2006, 13:16
I don't believe in it, but I'm not always right. I live life as a broadly good person just because it seems right. I'll be well annoyed if some bastard beats me to paradise just because he got feared into the right temple/church/mosque, even though he was a git.

Nonsense!

Since when did being wrong ever stop religion?

The best thing to do to get God on your side, is do something incredibly wrong, and stupid.

Poof!

Instant SAINT!
Edwardis
14-09-2006, 13:23
Heh.They're banned in my country, Singapore.

Really? With what reasoning?
Revasser
14-09-2006, 13:24
Is it true JW's aren't allowed to vote? If so, fuck them. We already have enough of a problem with that without a religion enforcing the lack of voters.


I'm glad they don't vote, myself. Do you really want those people influencing the government?
Szanth
14-09-2006, 13:28
I'm glad they don't vote, myself. Do you really want those people influencing the government?

Not particularly, but I don't want them encouraging people to not vote, either. Just gives people another reason.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 13:29
Really? With what reasoning?

The reasoning that it's fucking Singapore, where they caned a kid for graffiti and they can do whatever they damnwell please in their own country. :p
Mikesburg
14-09-2006, 13:31
Ah, Jehova's Witnesses... brings back memories it does.

When I was young lad, I had a friend who's family converted to JW. It was rather startling to see my friend suddenly not being allowed to buy comic books, banned from playing Dungeons and Dragons with us, no birthday parties, etc.. One time in particular, the kid ran up to me, gave me a big hug, and started crying, saying that he wished I would convert, because he didn't want to see me go to hell. Poor kid. He didn't realize I've been hoarding my 'Get out of Hell Free' Card that I collected from Community Chest.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 13:33
Ah, Jehova's Witnesses... brings back memories it does.

When I was young lad, I had a friend who's family converted to JW. It was rather startling to see my friend suddenly not being allowed to buy comic books, banned from playing Dungeons and Dragons with us, no birthday parties, etc.. One time in particular, the kid ran up to me, gave me a big hug, and started crying, saying that he wished I would convert, because he didn't want to see me go to hell. Poor kid. He didn't realize I've been hoarding my 'Get out of Hell Free' Card that I collected from Community Chest.

Not to mention the Masterwork Devilslaying Rapier of Light +7. God that sword owns evil's ass.
Revasser
14-09-2006, 13:34
Not particularly, but I don't want them encouraging people to not vote, either. Just gives people another reason.

I only wish other Christian sects would follow their lead. Especially down here where voting is compulsory. Imagine all the revenue we'd get from them in fines!
Jeruselem
14-09-2006, 13:44
They don't go near my place, mainly because the entire garden is gated fenced off and I pretend to be (Chinese) Buddhist. I'm agnostic.
Strathcarlie
14-09-2006, 13:46
Which they choose to tell me after ringing my doorbell at 8 am on a Saturday, when I was really looking forward to sleeping in. :rolleyes:

Right. They tried to pull this stunt on me once, a few years ago.

Back then i was working the graveyard, and got home around 6.30am. i was just enjoy my first REM session when the doorbell rang.
I walked upto the balcony, to look down to see who was at my door at that time in the morning (most of my friends *knew* not to show up before somewhere in the early pm) and saw some folks, who when they saw me asked if they could come in to talk about *life*.
I told them to hold on while i was putting clothes on. I walked into my bathroom, got a 10-liter bucket and filled it up with water. (it was mid-January, and about -8C/17F outside) :upyours:

Went back on the balcony, got their attention, and within half a second, they were utterly soaked. Saved my neighborhood from being bothered by these lunatics in the early morning as well.

Never been bothered by the likes of them ever since.
Smunkeeville
14-09-2006, 13:47
I had a JW woman come to my house every Thursday morning for 9 months, she quit coming when her husband told her that she couldn't see me anymore since she started coming home with questions he couldn't answer. Throughout the course of our "Bible studies" (where I was supposed to learn about her faith and convert) it turns out she came up with more questions than answers and ultimately wanted to convert to protestant Christianity.

;)
Allemonde
14-09-2006, 13:48
Don't be lazy. You're just as capable of looking that up as I am.

EDIT: Ok then: Revelation 7: 2-8.
Revelation 7: 2-8

Then I saw another angel come up from the East, 3 holding the seal of the living God. He cried out in a loud voice to the four angels who were given power to damage the land and the sea, "Do not damage the land or the sea or the trees until we put the seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God." I heard the number of those who had been marked with the seal, one hundred and forty-four thousand marked from every tribe of the Israelites: twelve thousand were marked from the tribe of Judah, 5 twelve thousand from the tribe of Reuben, twelve thousand from the tribe of Gad, twelve thousand from the tribe of Asher, twelve thousand from the tribe of Naphtali, twelve thousand from the tribe of Manasseh,twelve thousand from the tribe of Simeon, twelve thousand from the tribe of Levi, twelve thousand from the tribe of Issachar, twelve thousand from the tribe of Zebulun, twelve thousand from the tribe of Joseph, and twelve thousand were marked from the tribe of Benjamin.

Basically it's saying the twelve tribes of Isreal---ie the descendants of the Iserealites(Jews) have preference in God's eyes.(The Chosen People)

Yeah JW's are kinda annoying especially when you are sitting for breakfast saturdays. They allow them here to distribute their lit at the train station. JW were actually perscuted by the Nazi's during WW2 and were sent to concentration camps.
Coastlandia
14-09-2006, 13:56
I was recently told that the way to get rid of these people is to tell them you are Roman Catholic because they have determined that there is a low rate of success converting RCs.

Coast
Smunkeeville
14-09-2006, 13:59
I was recently told that the way to get rid of these people is to tell them you are Roman Catholic because they have determined that there is a low rate of success converting RCs.

Coast

yeah, it's not really going to stop them, they will still annoy you, just not as often.

They are afraid of Southern Baptists around here, but that doesn't work with the LDS because Southern Baptists have the highest conversion rates with them, they are MUCH more sneeky than the JW's, at least we can respect the JW's for giving you a book of exactly what they believe, not stringing you along.
Jeruselem
14-09-2006, 14:01
I was recently told that the way to get rid of these people is to tell them you are Roman Catholic because they have determined that there is a low rate of success converting RCs.

Coast

So dragging out a rosary and an image of the Pope sends them running? :p
Fartsniffage
14-09-2006, 14:06
I remember the last time johos came around to my parents house. My dad was lying on the entrance way hall fixing a broken radiator with the door open when a man and a woman wondered up the front path and knocked on the door frame. My dad looked up from the floor and the conversation went like this;

Dad - Can I help you?
Joho - Are you interested in the word of the Lord?
Dad - Can god fix radiators?
Joho *confused silence* Errr
Dad - *calmly* Can god fix radiators?
Joho - Well no
Dad - Well fuck off then!

They haven't bothered since but we do seem to get alot of either German or American mormons coming round through the summer. This year it was a couple of German lads with I was a bit pissed and bbqing, they seemed like nice guys so I told them I was a satanist and hated their god but invited them in for a steak and a cold one, they declined.
Compulsive Depression
14-09-2006, 14:13
I lived with a Jehova's Witness for a year at university.

He was fairly "hardcore" too; he once got quite upset because I used his frying pan to cook black pudding. No eating blood, apparently.

They don't believe in hell. Either you win and go to heaven, or you don't and just flash out of existence. I bothered to read Revelations to argue about that with him, but he just claimed it was all metaphorical.

They are allowed to vote, and he played Dungeons and Dragons, computer games, all the normal stuff; other than the "no blood" card and tag you'd only notice a difference between him and most other people if you talked about religion with him. Different areas may have different rules, I suppose, but that's what the Hertfordshire lot are like.
Gorias
14-09-2006, 14:17
Heh.They're banned in my country, Singapore.

good work, it should be banned.

in ireland(and i assume all other civilised countries), when a baby is born they have a thing called a thumb prick test. this allows doctors to test quickly for 21 different diseases that are fatal unless stop within a few weeks of birth. the jws dont allow this, so some of thier children die. i think governments should force this rule, despite parents religious views. cause the safety of the child should be the govs top priority other than parents views. its why we do not allow parents to abuse thier child, people make the wrong choices.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 14:19
I lived with a Jehova's Witness for a year at university.

He was fairly "hardcore" too; he once got quite upset because I used his frying pan to cook black pudding. No eating blood, apparently.

They don't believe in hell. Either you win and go to heaven, or you don't and just flash out of existence. I bothered to read Revelations to argue about that with him, but he just claimed it was all metaphorical.

They are allowed to vote, and he played Dungeons and Dragons, computer games, all the normal stuff; other than the "no blood" card and tag you'd only notice a difference between him and most other people if you talked about religion with him. Different areas may have different rules, I suppose, but that's what the Hertfordshire lot are like.

What about those who stay on earth and live in 'paradise'? Dun dun dunn, we've got conflicting stories about the same faith! Let's get ready to rumble...
Szanth
14-09-2006, 14:20
good work, it should be banned.

in ireland(and i assume all other civilised countries), when a baby is born they have a thing called a thumb prick test. this allows doctors to test quickly for 21 different diseases that are fatal unless stop within a few weeks of birth. the jws dont allow this, so some of thier children die. i think governments should force this rule, despite parents religious views. cause the safety of the child should be the govs top priority other than parents views. its why we do not allow parents to abuse thier child, people make the wrong choices.

*shrugs* That many less people in the world. Less JW's, to boot, so that's a plus as well. Natural selection, dontchaknow.
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 14:31
good work, it should be banned.

in ireland(and i assume all other civilised countries), when a baby is born they have a thing called a thumb prick test. this allows doctors to test quickly for 21 different diseases that are fatal unless stop within a few weeks of birth. the jws dont allow this, so some of thier children die. i think governments should force this rule, despite parents religious views. cause the safety of the child should be the govs top priority other than parents views. its why we do not allow parents to abuse thier child, people make the wrong choices.

That's not true. The Witnesses believe that you shouldn't take a blood transfusion, even to save your life, but they're all about the other medical testings and treatments. You're confusing them with another group.
Gorias
14-09-2006, 14:33
That's not true. The Witnesses believe that you shouldn't take a blood transfusion, even to save your life, but they're all about the other medical testings and treatments. You're confusing them with another group.

i know people who work in childrens hospitals. and they say this happends. not offen, but still if it happends once in a million years, its one time too many.
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 14:39
i know people who work in childrens hospitals. and they say this happends. not offen, but still if it happends once in a million years, its one time too many.
I was a JW for 26 years. Witnesses don't refuse those kinds of tests. There are fundamentalist sects of Christianity that refuse all medical intervention--they believe only in the power of prayer to heal--and I'd imagine that's who your friends are describing. Trust me on this--I can't tell you how many times, when I was a JW, that I had to tell someone "that's not us" because fringe groups get lumped together.
Gogotha
14-09-2006, 14:40
Well I for one can't believe what a bunch of intolerant assholes almost every single one of you is. I am not a Jehovah's Witness but I am married to one and while I agree with very little (next to none) of what they believe I know that they believe it and their grounds for believing it being a very 'literal' Bible interpretation is more honest than that being preached or practiced by other 'so called' Christians. The fact that they actually care enough about 'You' to subject themselves to your ridicule and insulting behaviors speaks volumes about their commitment to God and their obedience to his commandments. I would die fighting for their right to practice whatever religion they see fit just as I would for you yours if you believed anything at all other than your own selfish egocentrism.

My guess though, is that you would treat anyone who came to your door in the same way, whether they were from some other religious affiliation or the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or whatever. You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes. Some religious open-mindedness, tolerance and understanding and caring for others that you share the planet with would do you a World (and maybe an afterlife who knows?) of good.

Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole.
Compulsive Depression
14-09-2006, 14:40
What about those who stay on earth and live in 'paradise'? Dun dun dunn, we've got conflicting stories about the same faith! Let's get ready to rumble...
What I said was after death, rather than after an apocalypse. I never discussed that eventuality, but I think they think it's soon™.

Oh, apparently they think that Satan moved from heaven to earth some time around WWI. Might've been 1918, but I can't remember the exact year.
Laerod
14-09-2006, 14:43
So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?I have a deep hatred for the practice of evangelizing, even if I love the people doing it.

The last time someone tried to do it to me I happened to be out of the house. Apparently the mormons sent to where my home university is figured out I spoke English and rang my doorbell. My flatmate told me about it. They didn't come back.
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 14:45
By the way, I ought to let everyone telling the stories of abuse they heap on JW's know that the JW's take it as proof that they're doing god's will. Odd, I know, but the abuse is, for them, a sign that they're doing the right thing, and that the abusers are tools of Satan.

Not that that should stop you. Just figured you might like the opposite perspective--that you're strengthening their resolve when you fuck with them.
Grave_n_idle
14-09-2006, 14:47
Not Christmas, nor even Easter, I believe...wich is too weird for a christian sect.....

Why?

Where does Jesus teach 'thou shalt celebrate my birth'?

Christmas and Easter are only nominally 'christian'... and only as examples of syncretism.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 14:47
I have a deep hatred for the practice of evangelizing, even if I love the people doing it.

The last time someone tried to do it to me I happened to be out of the house. Apparently the mormons sent to where my home university is figured out I spoke English and rang my doorbell. My flatmate told me about it. They didn't come back.

Yeah, Evangelists tend to just make shit up on a daily basis. "God talked to me" "This guy's the antichrist" "The end is near" - none of it, of course, being based on scripture. Just them ranting on random shit so people will listen.
Fartsniffage
14-09-2006, 14:48
*snippy*

I'm more than happy for johos to have their religion they just need to stay off my doorstep with it. If I want to join a religion then I'll seek you out.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 14:49
Why?

Where does Jesus teach 'thou shalt celebrate my birth'?

Christmas and Easter are only nominally 'christian'... and only as examples of syncretism.

Well considering Jesus' birthday wasn't even ON or anywhere NEAR christmas (they now think it was more likely to be sometime in September), and that Easter has absolutely nothing to do with Christ being resurrected, I don't find it that hard to swallow.

They're still weirdos.
Scarlet States
14-09-2006, 14:50
Well I for one can't believe what a bunch of intolerant assholes almost every single one of you is. I am not a Jehovah's Witness but I am married to one and while I agree with very little (next to none) of what they believe I know that they believe it and their grounds for believing it being a very 'literal' Bible interpretation is more honest than that being preached or practiced by other 'so called' Christians. The fact that they actually care enough about 'You' to subject themselves to your ridicule and insulting behaviors speaks volumes about their commitment to God and their obedience to his commandments. I would die fighting for their right to practice whatever religion they see fit just as I would for you yours if you believed anything at all other than your own selfish egocentrism.

My guess though, is that you would treat anyone who came to your door in the same way, whether they were from some other religious affiliation or the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or whatever. You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes. Some religious open-mindedness, tolerance and understanding and caring for others that you share the planet with would do you a World (and maybe an afterlife who knows?) of good.

Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole.


It's not like I hate them or anything. I always treat the witnesses with the utmost respect when they come to my door. And whilst I appreciate the fact that they are trying to "save me", if you will, I don't want to be "saved". I've read all the material and listened to their opinions intently as they did mine, and found it to be contradictory or unrealistic. I try to get that across to them but they keep on coming back. I just wish they'd see that.
Smunkeeville
14-09-2006, 14:51
By the way, I ought to let everyone telling the stories of abuse they heap on JW's know that the JW's take it as proof that they're doing god's will. Odd, I know, but the abuse is, for them, a sign that they're doing the right thing, and that the abusers are tools of Satan.

Not that that should stop you. Just figured you might like the opposite perspective--that you're strengthening their resolve when you fuck with them.
not odd at all, it sounds logical to me. ;) in fact when I am having a really bad day (everything going wrong) I just figure I am on my way to doing something great and satan just is trying to stop me.

I might be delusional.




Yeah, Evangelists tend to just make shit up on a daily basis. "God talked to me" "This guy's the antichrist" "The end is near" - none of it, of course, being based on scripture. Just them ranting on random shit so people will listen.
I evangelize, I don't think that's a fair statement.
I'm more than happy for johos to have their religion they just need to stay off my doorstep with it. If I want to join a religion then I'll seek you out.
ah, but part of their religion is to go out and evangelize (or at least it says to in the Bible, and they claim to believe that)
Fartsniffage
14-09-2006, 14:53
ah, but part of their religion is to go out and evangelize (or at least it says to in the Bible, and they claim to believe that)

Then I'm not happy for them to have their religion, as far as I'm concerned another persons freedom of religion stops went it starts to affect me.
Carnivorous Lickers
14-09-2006, 14:57
While I wouldnt resort to pies in the face, or seltzer bottles filled with urine, I, like LG, have used the "scare em silly so the never come back."

I merely dumbfouned one.

Remember these guys believe that only 144,000 people will get into Heaven.

So, when they come to the door, just say: "So, if only 144,000 people are getting into Heaven, and you recruit me, arent you gonna lessen your own chances?"

Then apologize, and tell them you dont usually answer the door with clothes on becuase your a nudist, and make like your about to take your pants off.

The fastest land mammal is the Frightened Jehovah's Witness.

That was my question to the Jehovah's Witness'- In regard to the 144,000 getting into heaven- Are all those slots filled yet? What if you earn your place and then someone a little more worthy arrives? Could you be bumped out?

After one encounters in my NJ home, they didnt return. I think their map had a large red grease-pencil "X" over my address.

And we'll never have them at my new home. Its a gated, guarded community strangers,salesmen, etc.. arent admitted.
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 14:58
Well I for one can't believe what a bunch of intolerant assholes almost every single one of you is. I am not a Jehovah's Witness but I am married to one and while I agree with very little (next to none) of what they believe I know that they believe it and their grounds for believing it being a very 'literal' Bible interpretation is more honest than that being preached or practiced by other 'so called' Christians. The fact that they actually care enough about 'You' to subject themselves to your ridicule and insulting behaviors speaks volumes about their commitment to God and their obedience to his commandments. I would die fighting for their right to practice whatever religion they see fit just as I would for you yours if you believed anything at all other than your own selfish egocentrism.

My guess though, is that you would treat anyone who came to your door in the same way, whether they were from some other religious affiliation or the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or whatever. You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes. Some religious open-mindedness, tolerance and understanding and caring for others that you share the planet with would do you a World (and maybe an afterlife who knows?) of good.

Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole.


It's pretty simple, actually :

If you annoy people, don't act all surprised if they react annoyed.
If you wake me on my day off to talk to me about a concept that is the center of your life but is utterly insignificant in mine, you can expect me to be more than a little annoyed.
If I want to know something, I'll ask. If I don't ask, I'm simply not interested.

And yes, I would react the same way if it was kids begging for money.
Smunkeeville
14-09-2006, 14:59
Then I'm not happy for them to have their religion, as far as I'm concerned another persons freedom of religion stops went it starts to affect me.

that's not an easy line to draw, what if it "affected" you if you had to walk by their church and heard the bells? what if it "affected" you to even know that people believe that?

I am about to go to work so I won't be around, but if you don't want them to come to your door, I have found that a "no soliciting" sign works fine, if you write in Sharpie under it "even Jesus", my mom has one and it keeps JW's, Mormons, and the local Church of Christ people away from her.

I want them to come to my house though, I like them. ;) see? I don't have to go door to door to evangelize, they come to me.
Smunkeeville
14-09-2006, 15:01
It's pretty simple, actually :

If you annoy people, don't act all surprised if they react annoyed.
If you wake me on my day off to talk to me about a concept that is the center of your life but is utterly insignificant in mine, you can expect me to be more than a little annoyed.
If I want to know something, I'll ask. If I don't ask, I'm simply not interested.

And yes, I would react the same way if it was kids begging for money.

I read a book awhile ago called "caring evangelism" and that's basically what it says. Get to know someone first, find out what they feel, think, believe, don't just run around bashing people on the head with your Bible saying "REPENT SINNER YOU ARE GOING TO HELL" because

a) it's annoying
and
b) if they did care you wouldn't have to do that, and if they don't have an opinion they are going to form one really quick and it's not going to be a good one.
Grave_n_idle
14-09-2006, 15:02
I want them to come to my house though, I like them. ;) see? I don't have to go door to door to evangelize, they come to me.

I like them, too. As a matter of 'policy' they actually spend time reading and discussing the Bible. Whether or not I agree with what they get out of it, they are certainly some of the best educated people with the material.

We recently had our first Witnesses come to our door... a few weeks ago. I talked to them, as I do... discussed some of my views on some scriptural matters.

I haven't heard anything from them since. Maybe I scared them? :(
Carnivorous Lickers
14-09-2006, 15:05
I have nothing against Jehova Witnesses in general.
Personally, I dont care for people knocking on my door to discuss religion.
I have no problem that their beliefs are different from mine.

I have always found them to be polite and when I advise them politely that I have a particular faith, they generally accept that. Maybe they walk away feeling sorry for my soul? I dont know. I'm not concerned because I'm secure in my own faith.

They are far less annoying than any telemarketer that calls to sell me something, demanding to speak to the homeowner about siding, credit card offers or septic treatments.
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 15:11
I read a book awhile ago called "caring evangelism" and that's basically what it says. Get to know someone first, find out what they feel, think, believe, don't just run around bashing people on the head with your Bible saying "REPENT SINNER YOU ARE GOING TO HELL" because

a) it's annoying
and
b) if they did care you wouldn't have to do that, and if they don't have an opinion they are going to form one really quick and it's not going to be a good one.

True.
And one side-effect from constantly harassing people will inevitably be that people will try to find ways to ensure you stay away. And get really creative if a simple "no, thanks" isn't efficient.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 15:11
I evangelize, I don't think that's a fair statement.

Maybe we have different definitions of 'evangelize'. When I think evangelists, I think idiots standing on a soapbox and/or church stoop, or idiots on a large stage on TV.

Simply discussing with someone your belief doesn't make you an evangelist in my book.
Grave_n_idle
14-09-2006, 15:12
I have nothing against Jehova Witnesses in general.
Personally, I dont care for people knocking on my door to discuss religion.
I have no problem that their beliefs are different from mine.

I have always found them to be polite and when I advise them politely that I have a particular faith, they generally accept that. Maybe they walk away feeling sorry for my soul? I dont know. I'm not concerned because I'm secure in my own faith.

They are far less annoying than any telemarketer that calls to sell me something, demanding to speak to the homeowner about siding, credit card offers or septic treatments.

I actually work with a Witness. We are fairly good friends. He tells me that the easiest way to 'get rid of Witnesses' is to simply say "No thanks, really not interested".


On the topic of the telemarketers... my housemate back in England couldn't seem to politely rid himself of one caller... so he decided to go the other way... he got him to explain the product line, they talked designs and colours, various features and payment options... the call lasted for easily an hour.

As the call winds towards it's close, my housemate is asked for his credit card details, when he suddenly remembers one more question:

"Oh, by the way - I was meaning to ask... I live on the third floor, how will we go about actually fitting the conservatory...?'
The Nazz
14-09-2006, 15:21
not odd at all, it sounds logical to me. ;) in fact when I am having a really bad day (everything going wrong) I just figure I am on my way to doing something great and satan just is trying to stop me.

I might be delusional.
Here's the real question--is it only God testing you when it happens to you, but God smiting someone when it happens to a person who believes differently?


That was my question to the Jehovah's Witness'- In regard to the 144,000 getting into heaven- Are all those slots filled yet? What if you earn your place and then someone a little more worthy arrives? Could you be bumped out?Basically, they believe the heaven slots are all filled, mostly by people from the centuries past dating back to Jesus, but that there are a relative handful living today. All the other faithful get to live forever on earth restored to paradise.

At one time, that made an awful lot of sense to me. Seemed perfectly logical. That's what happens when you take a book full of myths and try to make a logical belief system out of it.
Ashmoria
14-09-2006, 15:25
thats my technique gravenidle.

when anyone knocks on my door or calls on the phone to sell me something, even religion, i say "no thank you im not interested" and close the door or hang up the phone.

they never call back or knock again.

someday a different JW might come to my door but never the same one twice. its never failed for me.

i dont see any sense in being rude to someone who is trying to make a buck or who is being "forced" to evangelized (i figure that if it wasnt a church rule they wouldnt be doing it.)

in many places you can put up "no soliciting" signs and no one is allowed to come to your door to sell you anything. in some places you may have to add in something about no religious solicitation. in some places you arent allowed to put signs up on your lawn or door. (why do you live in a place like that?)
Carnivorous Lickers
14-09-2006, 15:25
I actually work with a Witness. We are fairly good friends. He tells me that the easiest way to 'get rid of Witnesses' is to simply say "No thanks, really not interested".


On the topic of the telemarketers... my housemate back in England couldn't seem to politely rid himself of one caller... so he decided to go the other way... he got him to explain the product line, they talked designs and colours, various features and payment options... the call lasted for easily an hour.

As the call winds towards it's close, my housemate is asked for his credit card details, when he suddenly remembers one more question:

"Oh, by the way - I was meaning to ask... I live on the third floor, how will we go about actually fitting the conservatory...?'

My sister in law is a JW. We couldnt get along better. The only time its a little awkward is around the holidays and birthdays when she doesnt participate with the family gathering. Other than that, I couldnt ask for a better sister in law. She has never evangelized with us-I think she is fully aware of our faith and has chosen to respect it. As I respect her faith.
A relative on my wife's side is a JW. She has a huge family and we dont see this person & his wife very often, but when we do, its always his issue. He has remarked he is sorry our souls wont be saved. I would prefer he kept that feeling to himself.
I cant stand when otherwise good people have to make religion divide us. If I were a drug addict or wife beater or thief, I could understand his concern a little better. But, when you're a guest in my very stable and healthy home, where kids are well adjusted and thriving, dont piss on my wheaties.

My wife is usually rude to telemarketers. I am usually polite.

I keep trying to remind her the telemarketer could be having a bad day and may have our home address, Social Security #s and even credit card info right in front of them. its much better to politely state you're sorry you dont want to waste thier time, but you dont need encyclopedias, etc... INSTEAD of making them feel justified in creating a problem for you.
Like sell all your personal info to an ID thief. Or send your pre approved balance transfer checks to a different address where someone will take full advantage of them.
Laerod
14-09-2006, 15:29
I am about to go to work so I won't be around, but if you don't want them to come to your door, I have found that a "no soliciting" sign works fine, if you write in Sharpie under it "even Jesus", my mom has one and it keeps JW's, Mormons, and the local Church of Christ people away from her. Haha. Golden...
I need to try that if I ever have problems with them.
Carnivorous Lickers
14-09-2006, 15:33
Here's the real question--is it only God testing you when it happens to you, but God smiting someone when it happens to a person who believes differently?

Basically, they believe the heaven slots are all filled, mostly by people from the centuries past dating back to Jesus, but that there are a relative handful living today. All the other faithful get to live forever on earth restored to paradise.

At one time, that made an awful lot of sense to me. Seemed perfectly logical. That's what happens when you take a book full of myths and try to make a logical belief system out of it.

Maybe I'm insane but I feel that depending on what YOU believe-if you follow your beliefs and live by the rules you believe-you will get what you believe.
If you follow the Ten Commandments, do unto to others as you'd have done to you, pray for forgiveness and be truly sirry when you've strayed from your rules- You'll get the reward you believe in.
I dont think "savages" that worship the elements are going to hell or purgatory or whatever-I think they'll go we're they expect to go.
If you believe in nothing, then maybe thats what your end will be-just nothing.

I have no wish or desire to press my faith on another. If they asked me and wanted to be like me, I'd explain what I believe.

Thats just my point of view. It doesnt fall in step with my chosen faith and maybe one day I'll find out I'm so wrong.
I dont think well intended but ignorant people are punished though.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 15:45
Well I for one can't believe what a bunch of intolerant assholes almost every single one of you is. I am not a Jehovah's Witness but I am married to one and while I agree with very little (next to none) of what they believe I know that they believe it and their grounds for believing it being a very 'literal' Bible interpretation is more honest than that being preached or practiced by other 'so called' Christians. The fact that they actually care enough about 'You' to subject themselves to your ridicule and insulting behaviors speaks volumes about their commitment to God and their obedience to his commandments. I would die fighting for their right to practice whatever religion they see fit just as I would for you yours if you believed anything at all other than your own selfish egocentrism.

My guess though, is that you would treat anyone who came to your door in the same way, whether they were from some other religious affiliation or the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or whatever. You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes. Some religious open-mindedness, tolerance and understanding and caring for others that you share the planet with would do you a World (and maybe an afterlife who knows?) of good.

Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole.

I agree with this. I know not everybody is being this way, but I noticed a few remarks to the effect of "It's good that they don't vote, we don't need people like that participating in Government"

WHO the hell do you think you are? What makes a Jehovah's Witness' vote count less than yours? If you feel relief that they don't choose to exercise their right to vote, fine... But to say something like this utterly mindless... It frankly unnerves me. You don't like their beliefs? Irrelevant. They don't like yours either but I bet you wouldn't stand for them saying your vote shouldn't be allowed.

On the other hand, say what you want about them, they wouldn't say that in the first place.

Which makes their opinion matter more to me than yours does.

/rant

So anyway, I've had few visits from JWs, although when I do I just politely tell them thanks but no thanks. More than that is not required. These people are spending their Saturday walking around the neighborhood dealing with hostility and rudeness, I see no need to add to that. Legally, they can't harass me so telling them I'm not interested is all it takes.

I will say that I've sometimes been surprised at some of the details of that religion. For example, once a JW was talking to my grandmother and left her woth som ereaidng material. When I came over to visit, she showed me the book, and in it was an illustration that depicted Jesus nailed not to a cross, but to a wooden pole, hands above His head.

To this day I don't know what that's about... Historically it's undisputed that the method of execution of condemned prisoners in that period was crucifixion on a cross. It's undisputed that that's how Jesus was put to death, even by atheists who acknowledge that at least there was a man named Jesus who was executed on a cross. I wonder why they would change that from a cross to a pole?
Rambhutan
14-09-2006, 15:51
Isn't this what the Witness Protection Programme in the US is for?
Sakkra
14-09-2006, 16:00
I will say that I've sometimes been surprised at some of the details of that religion. For example, once a JW was talking to my grandmother and left her woth som ereaidng material. When I came over to visit, she showed me the book, and in it was an illustration that depicted Jesus nailed not to a cross, but to a wooden pole, hands above His head.

To this day I don't know what that's about... Historically it's undisputed that the method of execution of condemned prisoners in that period was crucifixion on a cross. It's undisputed that that's how Jesus was put to death, even by atheists who acknowledge that at least there was a man named Jesus who was executed on a cross. I wonder why they would change that from a cross to a pole?

In actuality, it is disputed whether or not the 'crucifixion' was depicted accurately.

My mother was a Jehovah's Witness for 20 years, so I have a tad of familiarity with some of their theories and ideas. It's believed that the real crucifixion was done with stakes instead of crosses. Over time, the Papacy decided that a suitable idol would be a cross, as it was deemed no-one would really want to worship a Jesus-on-a-stick (paraphrasing here).

I'm inclined to see some merit to this myself, as it would save much time and lumber to just have a pole in the ground. The end result would be the same regardless. And the Papacy has a habit of re-writing their Bible and assimilating other culture's beliefs in order to make their own more appealing. Whose to say what did and did not happen so many centuries later? There are no eye-witnesses left.
The Mindset
14-09-2006, 16:02
I agree with this. I know not everybody is being this way, but I noticed a few remarks to the effect of "It's good that they don't vote, we don't need people like that participating in Government"

WHO the hell do you think you are? What makes a Jehovah's Witness' vote count less than yours? If you feel relief that they don't choose to exercise their right to vote, fine... But to say something like this utterly mindless... It frankly unnerves me. You don't like their beliefs? Irrelevant. They don't like yours either but I bet you wouldn't stand for them saying your vote shouldn't be allowed.

On the other hand, say what you want about them, they wouldn't say that in the first place.

Which makes their opinion matter more to me than yours does.

/rant

So anyway, I've had few visits from JWs, although when I do I just politely tell them thanks but no thanks. More than that is not required. These people are spending their Saturday walking around the neighborhood dealing with hostility and rudeness, I see no need to add to that. Legally, they can't harass me so telling them I'm not interested is all it takes.

I will say that I've sometimes been surprised at some of the details of that religion. For example, once a JW was talking to my grandmother and left her woth som ereaidng material. When I came over to visit, she showed me the book, and in it was an illustration that depicted Jesus nailed not to a cross, but to a wooden pole, hands above His head.

To this day I don't know what that's about... Historically it's undisputed that the method of execution of condemned prisoners in that period was crucifixion on a cross. It's undisputed that that's how Jesus was put to death, even by atheists who acknowledge that at least there was a man named Jesus who was executed on a cross. I wonder why they would change that from a cross to a pole?

The Jehovah's Witnesses believe that Jesus was crucified on a stick, because their doctrine follows from the Greek translation of the bible - where "xy'lon" can be translated as "cross" but also literally means "'a stick, club, or tree'."
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 16:03
In actuality, it is disputed whether or not the 'crucifixion' was depicted accurately.

My mother was a Jehovah's Witness for 20 years, so I have a tad of familiarity with some of their theories and ideas. It's believed that the real crucifixion was done with stakes instead of crosses. Over time, the Papacy decided that a suitable idol would be a cross, as it was deemed no-one would really want to worship a Jesus-on-a-stick (paraphrasing here).

I'm inclined to see some merit to this myself, as it would save much time and lumber to just have a pole in the ground. The end result would be the same regardless. And the Papacy has a habit of re-writing their Bible and assimilating other culture's beliefs in order to make their own more appealing. Whose to say what did and did not happen so many centuries later? There are no eye-witnesses left.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm still inclined to stick to the cross mainly for historical reasons (Classical European history is a hobby of mine) but I appreciate what you said, because it gives me a sense of where that comes from. Thank you.
The Mindset
14-09-2006, 16:03
In actuality, it is disputed whether or not the 'crucifixion' was depicted accurately.

My mother was a Jehovah's Witness for 20 years, so I have a tad of familiarity with some of their theories and ideas. It's believed that the real crucifixion was done with stakes instead of crosses. Over time, the Papacy decided that a suitable idol would be a cross, as it was deemed no-one would really want to worship a Jesus-on-a-stick (paraphrasing here).

I'm inclined to see some merit to this myself, as it would save much time and lumber to just have a pole in the ground. The end result would be the same regardless. And the Papacy has a habit of re-writing their Bible and assimilating other culture's beliefs in order to make their own more appealing. Whose to say what did and did not happen so many centuries later? There are no eye-witnesses left.

That, and the t-shaped cross was already a pagan symbol, and so helped the early church evangelize to pagans by appealing to already established religions.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 16:03
The Jehovah's Witnesses believe that Jesus was crucified on a stick, because their doctrine follows from the Greek translation of the bible - where "xy'lon" can be translated as "cross" but also literally means "'a stick, club, or tree'."

Good information. Thank you.
Revasser
14-09-2006, 16:14
I agree with this. I know not everybody is being this way, but I noticed a few remarks to the effect of "It's good that they don't vote, we don't need people like that participating in Government"

WHO the hell do you think you are? What makes a Jehovah's Witness' vote count less than yours? If you feel relief that they don't choose to exercise their right to vote, fine... But to say something like this utterly mindless... It frankly unnerves me. You don't like their beliefs? Irrelevant. They don't like yours either but I bet you wouldn't stand for them saying your vote shouldn't be allowed.

On the other hand, say what you want about them, they wouldn't say that in the first place.

Which makes their opinion matter more to me than yours does.

/rant


Wake up and smell the comic arrogance, dude.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 16:47
Wake up and smell the comic arrogance, dude.

:rolleyes: I know... just can't figure out why it isn't more obvious to some...
Azarathi
14-09-2006, 16:50
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?

Just do what I did when they kept bugging me say you worship the devil I havnt seen em again for 6 months
Deep Kimchi
14-09-2006, 16:55
they aren't relgious nuts, They just have some very different beliefs.

They don't come back if they think you're crazier than they are.
Rambhutan
14-09-2006, 17:11
They don't come back if they think you're crazier than they are.

I can see how you would make that work.
Deep Kimchi
14-09-2006, 17:12
I can see how you would make that work.

It was easy.
Zolworld
14-09-2006, 17:12
I feel sorry for Jehovahs witnesses. The poor mental bastards. Much like scientology it was started as a joke/money-making-scheme, and just got out of hand. I wonder if the very top people know its all a big laugh.
Farnhamia
14-09-2006, 17:40
I'm not sure if someone pointed this out in the preceding eight pages, but wasn't Michael Jackson raised as a Jehovah's Witness? I'm not implying the Witnesses condone MJ and his outlandish behavior.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 17:41
I think the only thing that unnerves me about the religion is that, the way it was explained to me, they believe in God the Father and Jesus Christ the son, but their understanding of the nature of the Holy Spirit is only an aspect of the Father, not an equal part. This being different from the Evangelical/Catholic doctrine of the Trinity and the Mormon doctrine of the Godhead.

What makes it unnerving is that in the New Testament, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is the unpardonable sin... so I would be afraid that the JW doctrine came dangerously close to exactly that.

Insights into this, anyone?
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 17:42
I'm not sure if someone pointed this out in the preceding eight pages, but wasn't Michael Jackson raised as a Jehovah's Witness? I'm not implying the Witnesses condone MJ and his outlandish behavior.

I've heard that, too but couldn't tell you where I heard it...
New Xero Seven
14-09-2006, 17:43
Believing in a religion where in order to get to heaven you must spread the word to as many people as possible.. or else... Don't make any sense to moi.
Peepelonia
14-09-2006, 17:45
Heheh I used to invite them in to play.:) They don't bother me any more.:(

I like the one about only 44000 odd people going to heaven, I like to ask them what about the people that died a few hundred years ago, if they make it surly you have been born to late?
Dempublicents1
14-09-2006, 17:49
I only have a few problems with JWs:

1) I'm sure this doesn't apply to all the JWs who go out evangelizing, but most my experiences with them, as well as the experiences of the people I know, are that they end up being very rude. If you are the least bit polite, rather than simply turning them away out of hand, you'll never get rid of them. They give you a pamphlet to read? They'll come back in a week and ask if you read it and will you please discuss it with them. You don't agree with their pamphlet? It just encourages them to come back again and again and again and again. Someone tells them he's an atheist? They go on and on, asking him how he can not believe in God - isn't he afraid of hell (the most idiotic question to ask, since he's not going to believe in hell if he's an atheist)? The methods some people use to prevent this may seem childish, but it truly seems sometimes that these are the only methods that work.

2) I've seen and heard of multiple cases in which JWs have put children in harm's way because of their beliefs - something I can never advocate and will not view with tolerance.

I had a friend once who, because of her religion, was placed with the preacher of her church when put into the foster care system. The rules he and his wife instituted - and the punishments they handed out - were ridiculous, and put my friend in danger of getting sick. The idea of taking away belongings that weren't put up properly is fine, when you are talking about toys. But when a coat left on a chair rather than hung up is taken (until the girl can pay for it) and a girl is sent out in the dead of winter half-clothed, there's a problem. When that same girl has no lunch money because she had to use it to pay to get her coat back... I don't know if these kinds of things are standard fair for child-rearing in JWs, but I do know that this was the preacher and was therefore the head of at least that church of JWs.

The worst story is about a little girl who needed a liver transplant. Interestingly enough, JWs can receive organ transplants, just not blood transfusions. It apparently varies from preacher to preacher whether this means they just can't get cells, or that they can't get any blood products whatsoever. One way or another, not allowing blood transfusions makes transplants very difficult and dangerous. If an adult wants to take that danger on for himself, that is fine, but when his beliefs endanger a child, that's another story. Current law states that, if a parent says no blood transfusion, and the child is going to die on the table without that transfusion, the doctors simply have to let the child die. However, that was not always the case. My advisor was the anesthesiologist on a liver transplant case in which the young girl's parents were JWs before this policy was put into place. The policy at that time, for a child, was that the doctors would do what they could without a blood transfusion. However, in an emergency, they would give the transfusion. That happened with this little girl. She did nothing to cause it, ask for it, etc. - the doctors made an emergency decision in the middle of surgery. Her parents, upon finding this out, immediately put her up for adoption, saying that they couldn't raise a little girl who was going to Hell.
Szanth
14-09-2006, 17:53
Believing in a religion where in order to get to heaven you must spread the word to as many people as possible.. or else... Don't make any sense to moi.

It's the Outwar of religion. =)
HotRodia
14-09-2006, 17:53
Well I for one can't believe what a bunch of intolerant assholes almost every single one of you is. I am not a Jehovah's Witness but I am married to one and while I agree with very little (next to none) of what they believe I know that they believe it and their grounds for believing it being a very 'literal' Bible interpretation is more honest than that being preached or practiced by other 'so called' Christians. The fact that they actually care enough about 'You' to subject themselves to your ridicule and insulting behaviors speaks volumes about their commitment to God and their obedience to his commandments. I would die fighting for their right to practice whatever religion they see fit just as I would for you yours if you believed anything at all other than your own selfish egocentrism.

My guess though, is that you would treat anyone who came to your door in the same way, whether they were from some other religious affiliation or the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or whatever. You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes. Some religious open-mindedness, tolerance and understanding and caring for others that you share the planet with would do you a World (and maybe an afterlife who knows?) of good.

Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole.

Take note of the statements I've put in red. You're intentionally insulting a group of people in such a way as to provoke angry responses, specifically the other posters in this thread. Not only is it poor form, it's trolling, which is against the rules of the forum (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416023). Please stop doing that.

NationStates Forum Moderator
HotRodia
Aelosia
14-09-2006, 18:08
This is a joke, not meant to harm anyone's feelings, or to offend any religion in particular...It's not even MY joke.

In spanish, Jehova's Witnesses are called "Testigos de Jehová", a name strangely similar to "Testículos de Jehová", (Jehova's Testicles). They are more usually referred to as the latter than the former around here, I guess someone started it years ago. So, you sometimes get a sunday visit from "Jehova's Testicles".

I know it is a bit of a blaphemy, but it is quite spreaded around...
Szanth
14-09-2006, 18:34
This is a joke, not meant to harm anyone's feelings, or to offend any religion in particular...It's not even MY joke.

In spanish, Jehova's Witnesses are called "Testigos de Jehová", a name strangely similar to "Testículos de Jehová", (Jehova's Testicles). They are more usually referred to as the latter than the former around here, I guess someone started it years ago. So, you sometimes get a sunday visit from "Jehova's Testicles".

I know it is a bit of a blaphemy, but it is quite spreaded around...

Hah, that's funny shit.
Peepelonia
14-09-2006, 18:35
Hah, that's funny shit.

Heheh and whats even funnyer is I don't actualy know what Blaphemy is?:p
Szanth
14-09-2006, 18:36
Heheh and whats even funnyer is I don't actualy know what Blaphemy is?:p

The sin of making fun of or manipulating the image of a deity.
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 18:45
Right. They tried to pull this stunt on me once, a few years ago.

Back then i was working the graveyard, and got home around 6.30am. i was just enjoy my first REM session when the doorbell rang.
I walked upto the balcony, to look down to see who was at my door at that time in the morning (most of my friends *knew* not to show up before somewhere in the early pm) and saw some folks, who when they saw me asked if they could come in to talk about *life*.
I told them to hold on while i was putting clothes on. I walked into my bathroom, got a 10-liter bucket and filled it up with water. (it was mid-January, and about -8C/17F outside) :upyours:

Went back on the balcony, got their attention, and within half a second, they were utterly soaked. Saved my neighborhood from being bothered by these lunatics in the early morning as well.

Never been bothered by the likes of them ever since.

Horrible! :eek:

Wonderful! :D
Peepelonia
14-09-2006, 18:46
The sin of making fun of or manipulating the image of a deity.

Nope I think that you'll find that is Blasphemy!;)
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 18:46
I had a JW woman come to my house every Thursday morning for 9 months, she quit coming when her husband told her that she couldn't see me anymore since she started coming home with questions he couldn't answer. Throughout the course of our "Bible studies" (where I was supposed to learn about her faith and convert) it turns out she came up with more questions than answers and ultimately wanted to convert to protestant Christianity.

;)

Evil! :D
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 18:58
My guess though, is that you would treat anyone who came to your door in the same way, whether they were from some other religious affiliation or the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or whatever. You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes. Some religious open-mindedness, tolerance and understanding and caring for others that you share the planet with would do you a World (and maybe an afterlife who knows?) of good.

Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole.

I try my damndest to avoid answering the door naked when kids come to my door to sell stuff. That causes problems.

But my postal worker probly hates delivering to my door. Or loves it! ;)

I don't ridicule or torment them because of their faith. I ridicule and torment them because they question MY faith! On my own porch, no less!

Which just gave me a deliciously evil idea... http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/teufel/devil-smiley-090.gif
Dempublicents1
14-09-2006, 19:00
I try my damndest to avoid answering the door naked when kids come to my door to sell stuff. That causes problems.

But my postal worker probly hates delivering to my door. Or loves it! ;)

Hehe. My fiance never did the full-out naked thing, but did finally decide to do something similar once. He opened the door wrapped in a towel (although, knowing him, I'm sure there were shorts underneath. When they asked if he wanted to talk about Jesus, he said, "Sure. I was just about to take a shower, come on in and talk to me," and then left the door open and walked towards the bathroom to take a shower. Strangely enough, they didn't come in and talk...
Peepelonia
14-09-2006, 19:14
Hehe. My fiance never did the full-out naked thing, but did finally decide to do something similar once. He opened the door wrapped in a towel (although, knowing him, I'm sure there were shorts underneath. When they asked if he wanted to talk about Jesus, he said, "Sure. I was just about to take a shower, come on in and talk to me," and then left the door open and walked towards the bathroom to take a shower. Strangely enough, they didn't come in and talk...


Many years ago, in my Pagan past I heard of a good one for somewhere?

So they knock on the door, and you answer wearing only an bathrobe or dressing gown, muss your hair up and as you answer cast furtive glances behind you every so offten.

Say 'Ohhh I'm sorry but you have just caught me at an inoppertune time, I was making love with the wife'

The trick is to try to coaks them into asking 'Ohh are you married then' to which you reply 'Don't be silly, who'd marry a goat'
Lunatic Goofballs
14-09-2006, 19:21
It just occurred to me that with the exception of Smunkee, many of us want to avoid JWs or simply dismiss them. The problem withthis is: It doesn't really solve the underlying problem and it isn't very helpful.

We should be helpful. If we truly believe that these poor souls are as deluded as they no doubt believe we are, then we should try to lead them to the light. I propose that we should pick one day a week or one day a month, dress in appropriate attire an drive around to the homes of all Jehova's Witnesses we know of in the wee hours of morning and offer to discuss with them the errors of their ways. For the sake of their souls. :)

*rings doorbell six or seven times*
Groggy JW: "Huh? Hello?"
Lunatic Goofball:"Hiya and Good Morning, neighbor! HOw are you?"
GJW: "Uh..."
LG: "It's a sock. I have to wear it to be in compliance with local indecency laws. Tell me, friend; Have you found Wackiness?"
GJW: "I don't know what you..."
LG: "Wackness is the source of all the world's joy. It can save us all. Do you want to be saved?"
GJW: "What the fuck are you..."
LG: "Can I use your bathroom?"

...An on from there. :)

I suppose if it's your thing, you could preach atheism, satanism or christianity. Whatever floats your boat. *nod*
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 19:28
I once saw a stand-up comedian talking about this. She said that with the JWs believing that only 144,000 get into Heaven, (presumably the best behaved 144,000) that JWs were really the greatest and most selfless people ever.

Think about it... If you knew only a certain number of people were going to make it in, would YOU recruit more competition?

It was funny, but she did have an interesting point...
Grave_n_idle
14-09-2006, 20:54
Historically it's undisputed that the method of execution of condemned prisoners in that period was crucifixion on a cross. It's undisputed that that's how Jesus was put to death, even by atheists who acknowledge that at least there was a man named Jesus who was executed on a cross. I wonder why they would change that from a cross to a pole?

It is not 'undisputed', at all. There isn't even a consensus on the issue of whether or not there ever was a 'literal' Jesus, that he was executed, and/or that the method would have been a cross.

Given the number of 'messiahs' running around in that area, at that time, it is just as likely that 'Jesus' is a collection of folk stories... accreting smaller messiah myths, the same way the King Arthur or Robin Hood legends did.
Smunkeeville
14-09-2006, 20:56
Maybe we have different definitions of 'evangelize'. When I think evangelists, I think idiots standing on a soapbox and/or church stoop, or idiots on a large stage on TV.

Simply discussing with someone your belief doesn't make you an evangelist in my book.

I evangelize, I go out, I play in my band, I speak, I preach, I evangelize. I also talk to people about my beliefs.



Here's the real question--is it only God testing you when it happens to you, but God smiting someone when it happens to a person who believes differently?
what I attribute to God testing me, and Satan screwing with me are very different depending on the other circumstances.

I think that satan def. screws around with people whether they believe what I do or not, and I am sure God tests them too....

I don't really think I have the knowledge of who is doing what to whom, I just "feel it" that's why I said "I may be delusional"
PsychoticDan
14-09-2006, 20:58
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?

Answer teh door naked with a hard on and stroke it. While thye talk to you say things like, "yeah, baby. Say that again... again... oh yeah..."
Grave_n_idle
14-09-2006, 21:00
Believing in a religion where in order to get to heaven you must spread the word to as many people as possible.. or else... Don't make any sense to moi.

I'm under the impression that that isn't how it works...

You become part of the religion because you accepted 'the message' of the religion.

Part of the religion is this injunction by Jesus to get out there and tell everyone the Good News.

You could sit around and avoid trying to win souls, but, you wouldn't really be doing what the scripture instructed.

So - you go out and win souls... not because you HAVE to, but because you want to do it... to further the message of your religion, and to save the souls of the condemned.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 21:04
Given the number of 'messiahs' running around in that area, at that time, it is just as likely that 'Jesus' is a collection of folk stories... accreting smaller messiah myths, the same way the King Arthur or Robin Hood legends did.

:rolleyes: Yeah I'll try to keep that in mind...
Cabra West
14-09-2006, 21:05
This is a joke, not meant to harm anyone's feelings, or to offend any religion in particular...It's not even MY joke.

In spanish, Jehova's Witnesses are called "Testigos de Jehová", a name strangely similar to "Testículos de Jehová", (Jehova's Testicles). They are more usually referred to as the latter than the former around here, I guess someone started it years ago. So, you sometimes get a sunday visit from "Jehova's Testicles".

I know it is a bit of a blaphemy, but it is quite spreaded around...

*lol

Well, in Germany, they are called "die Zeugen Jehovas". Which some nasty people turned into "die Zeugenden Jehovas", meaning the fornicating/procreating people of Jehova
Sarkhaan
14-09-2006, 21:24
I've had large numbers of both JW's and Mormons, and another group that slips my memory right now, stop by.

I think the JW family was my favorite...very polite and kind, except they always woke me up on the weekends. They came by one really chilly day, so I invited them in for coffee/tea...took up their whole day. I started to do this regularly, and they stopped coming because they knew I wasn't converting and I was stopping them from seeing my neighbors.

One of the groups was not allowed to refuse a request for help...I had them wash windows (mind you, they came by at 7 AM on sundays...which is incredibly rude). They promptly stopped.

I've answered the door naked many a time...one time I had a friend over who came down wearing just a jock strap saying "sweetie, come back to bed".

Same friend once answered the door for them naked, dropped the pamphlet they gave him, and did the "bend and snap" to pick it up. Mind you, this friend is nicknamed "ape" for a reason.

Mind you, I'll be nothing but polite the first time they come by, but after a while, it just gets obnoxious. I'm not a morning person, and want to sleep. The fact that they get more than a grunt is a huge strain on my part.
Edwardis
14-09-2006, 21:33
By the way, I ought to let everyone telling the stories of abuse they heap on JW's know that the JW's take it as proof that they're doing god's will. Odd, I know, but the abuse is, for them, a sign that they're doing the right thing, and that the abusers are tools of Satan.

Not that that should stop you. Just figured you might like the opposite perspective--that you're strengthening their resolve when you f*** with them.

That's pretty much the way everyone reacts. If you disagree with them, you're persecuting them.

I know that I'm rarely intimidated by disagreement. I might look and say that the conversation is going no where and it's actually only causing strife, I might end it. But I always end up telling myself that that is the reason why I should continue: look at all the people who don't understand.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 21:34
That's pretty much the way with everyone. If you disagree with them, you're persecuting them.

I think there's a pretty big difference between simple disagreement and persecution. If JWs come to my door I'll politely let them know I'm not interested, but that's a far cry from dumping ice cold water on them.
Edwardis
14-09-2006, 21:36
I think there's a pretty big difference between simple disagreement and persecution. If JWs come to my door I'll politely let them know I'm not interested, but that's a far cry from dumping ice cold water on them.

You're in the minority. I meant that's pretty much how everyone feels. I have to edit that.
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 21:38
You're in the minority. I meant that's pretty much how everyone feels. I have to edit that.

Ah gotcha.
Gogotha
14-09-2006, 21:55
Take note of the statements I've put in red. You're intentionally insulting a group of people in such a way as to provoke angry responses, specifically the other posters in this thread. Not only is it poor form, it's trolling, which is against the rules of the forum (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416023). Please stop doing that.

NationStates Forum Moderator
HotRodia

Mr Forum Moderator. How is my response to this 10 page list of malicious, intentionally insulting responses, (including the original post), more trolling than the rest of them. If I am to be chastised for my attempt to bring reason to this farce of a religious discussion than I demand that the entire thread be closed. I am not interested in angry responses. If my post (to which I will add I have not even seen a single angry response, and in fact more than one reply in agreement) is poor form, than I say to you that the entire thread is poor form. Good day. - G.
Philosopy
14-09-2006, 22:04
-snip-

-snip-

There is a thread in Moderation on this here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=499673
New Bretonnia
14-09-2006, 22:04
Mr Forum Moderator. How is my response to this 10 page list of malicious, intentionally insulting responses, (including the original post), more trolling than the rest of them. If I am to be chastised for my attempt to bring reason to this farce of a religious discussion than I demand that the entire thread be closed. I am not interested in angry responses. If my post (to which I will add I have not even seen a single angry response, and in fact more than one reply in agreement) is poor form, than I say to you that the entire thread is poor form. Good day. - G.

Welsome to NS General, pal.

MOST of these threads are in poor form. That's why we can't get enough. It's like watching Jerry Springer.
Sarkhaan
14-09-2006, 22:07
There is a thread in Moderation on this here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=499673

yeah, I just saw it...I'm deleting my post as we speak.
Philosopy
14-09-2006, 22:08
yeah, I just saw it...I'm deleting my post as we speak.
Sorry, I was backing up what you were saying, not trying to criticise. :)
Gogotha
14-09-2006, 22:19
Thanks guys, I moved my post to there. Please carry on with your 'discussion'...
Zendragon
15-09-2006, 06:10
Well I for one can't believe what a bunch of intolerant assholes almost every single one of you is.... The fact that they actually care enough about 'You' to subject themselves to your ridicule and insulting behaviors speaks volumes about their commitment to God and their obedience to his commandments.... if you believed anything at all other than your own selfish egocentrism.

... You seem to be across the board immature, ignorant, inconsiderate, and illiterate individuals who no doubt come from broken homes.
Signed,

An Agnostic, not an Asshole. Really? Can't tell that from your post.

Or, have you been taking to the mirror again?

BTW, I don't want them "caring about me." I consider it sanctimonious trespass.
Anglachel and Anguirel
15-09-2006, 06:13
The only time a Jehovah's Witness ever came by my house, she left after I accepted a pamphlet from her. Naturally, it went to the recycling bin, since I'm not interested in converting or anything. Besides that, I haven't had any real contact with them.
Zendragon
15-09-2006, 06:17
We should be helpful. If we truly believe that these poor souls are as deluded as they no doubt believe we are, then we should try to lead them to the light. I propose that we should pick one day a week or one day a month, dress in appropriate attire an drive around to the homes of all Jehova's Witnesses we know of in the wee hours of morning and offer to discuss with them the errors of their ways. For the sake of their souls. :)

I suppose if it's your thing, you could preach atheism, satanism or christianity. Whatever floats your boat. *nod*

BRILLIANT! And so obvious
Now, if I wasn't so damned lazy.
Dontgonearthere
15-09-2006, 07:15
I know a few good ways to get them to go away.

The first works best if you see them coming. Head over to your window and open the drapes/blinds a crack and peek out, holding it open just enough to be fairly easily visible and stare at them. Every time they look at you close the blinds/drapes quickly.

A varient on this is to open the door a tiny crack when they knock, glance out for a second, then shout "HOLY SHIT ITS THE FEDS! HIDE THE STASH!" and slam the door shut, then go into the above.

Or you could open the door, glance both ways to make sure nobody is listening and then whisper, "Greetings brothers, the dawn comes! Lord Dagon shall purge the Earth of the weak!", this helps if your wearing a robe and hood and possibly holding a knife of some sort.

Or, better yet, pretend to be friendly at first, then look at one of their children, stare for a while, and fall into a heap on the floor screaming "IA CTHULU! IA! IA! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" or start speaking backwards in Latin.

Most effective is "Please go away." and shutting the door :P
East of Eden is Nod
15-09-2006, 08:49
You know, I find it odd when people mock their theology, as though the JW's theology is any more ridiculous than another religion's.

They have a theology? I did not realize that when I was sitting next to one of those retards in school.
Vorlich
15-09-2006, 09:09
I think JW's are a bit loony in general. I have a family of them living across the street for me and they are very strange. They have never worked and always talk about the Kingdom Hall. (which is their place of worship - and its a tatty old 1970's monstrosity of a building that looks like a big shed)

Anyhoo, my mum came up with the best deterrant for the pesky JW door to door sales folk.

When they asked her if she turned to the bible in certain times of need she retorted - "No the litre bottle of whiskey does the trick", but that was in the 80's. you might need to replace alchohol with heroin or something these days.
Multiland
15-09-2006, 11:07
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?

If you don't like them, ask them politely to leave you alone ane make it clear you'e not interested in what they have to say, and if they come back, remind them that they can be arrested for harrassment
Multiland
15-09-2006, 11:08
Mr Forum Moderator. How is my response to this 10 page list of malicious, intentionally insulting responses, (including the original post), more trolling than the rest of them. If I am to be chastised for my attempt to bring reason to this farce of a religious discussion than I demand that the entire thread be closed. I am not interested in angry responses. If my post (to which I will add I have not even seen a single angry response, and in fact more than one reply in agreement) is poor form, than I say to you that the entire thread is poor form. Good day. - G.

Well said.
BackwoodsSquatches
15-09-2006, 11:10
Why?

Where does Jesus teach 'thou shalt celebrate my birth'?

Christmas and Easter are only nominally 'christian'... and only as examples of syncretism.


I'll grant you that, but where does he forbid celebration?

Where does he tell anyone that celebrating simple pleasures in life like the day you were born is abomination?

I can understand not celebrating the pagan holidays that the Catholic Church ursurped, like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, Valentines day, etc...but not to have any holidays to commerate important religious event, especially in a Judeo-Christian religion?

It makes no sense.

"Why not celebrate the life that God gave you?"

(Says the Atheist to the Agnostic)
Markiria
15-09-2006, 11:52
0k their is this family down the street from me who are i that awfull cult..They dont come to any of the partys like 4th of july in are community because its wrong. The wife doesnt play "Bunko" with the other wifes because its a sin. And the husband doesnt play poker with the other dads and they really never go outside!!! Well they are very very rich and their son is a brat who would always get in trouble and sort..Write Ups detentions and he really never got punised. Well their kid Max:upyours: . Was tormenting me for about a year. And when I would yell in his face he would be scared and would quit until i left and he would start up again. Well one day some stole his shoe:rolleyes: and gave it to me. Well max saw him give it to me and told the bus driver that i did it!!!!! Soo after we got of the bus I was so tired of him picking on me I picked him up and threw him down. He got up and i pushed him down again and then treatend him if he didnt leave me alone...Well he was like totally scared because I warned him if he didnt stop poking valgure and crued comments towards me. Well they called the cops but i didnt get in trouble he did.. So I hate Jahovas Cykos or what ever!!!
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 13:42
I'll grant you that, but where does he forbid celebration?

Where does he tell anyone that celebrating simple pleasures in life like the day you were born is abomination?

I can understand not celebrating the pagan holidays that the Catholic Church ursurped, like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, Valentines day, etc...but not to have any holidays to commerate important religious event, especially in a Judeo-Christian religion?

It makes no sense.

"Why not celebrate the life that God gave you?"

(Says the Atheist to the Agnostic)


I could go either way. (yes, I know that's an easy setup if you would refrain from thinking about that now and read on, that would be great)

There is a lot of danger in adding to what God actually says, in fact we see it in Gen. 3 where Eve does it.

Although if you can make a case that celebrating Christmas is even close to idolitry you could make a case that you were avoiding the appearance of evil, but if you are going to make super extra restrictions, you should point out that it's your own personal choice and not scripturally called for.

My example would be that my kids don't celebrate halloween, it's absolutely a personal choice and not a scripturally backed aversion, I feel like it's not in line with my beliefs but I don't have clear cut scriptural backing for it. If I claimed to have that, then that would be a problem.
LiberationFrequency
15-09-2006, 13:57
My friend is a jehovahs witness, him and his family seem completly normal.
Edwardis
15-09-2006, 14:00
My friend is a jehovahs witness, him and his family seem completly normal.

He and his family. It's the subject of the sentence and therefore in nominative case, not objective.

If you learn to speak properly, you are more likely to be taken seriously.
Mac World
15-09-2006, 14:16
JW's crack me up and their view and fundamental belief is flawed. I'm pretty damn sure that they've hit over the 144,000 mark. That means all but that number are going to hell. I want to ask a JW how they get by that and if they think they are the one of the few going to be taken up by God according to Revelation.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 14:20
JW's crack me up and their view and fundamental belief is flawed. I'm pretty damn sure that they've hit over the 144,000 mark. That means all but that number are going to hell. I want to ask a JW how they get by that and if they think they are the one of the few going to be taken up by God according to Revelation.

actually no, it's not heaven or hell for them, it's heaven, paradise, or nothing.

144,000 get to go to heaven to be at the right hand of Christ, and then the rest of they are JW get to live on earth after it's perfect, and then if you aren't JW you just die and there is nothing.
LiberationFrequency
15-09-2006, 14:23
He and his family. It's the subject of the sentence and therefore in nominative case, not objective.

If you learn to speak properly, you are more likely to be taken seriously.

I think you mean "When I learn to type properly".

Have you considered the possibility that maybe my first language is not english or maybe I have learning disability and that my point is still valid dispite a small grammar mistake?
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 14:24
I think you mean "When I learn to type properly".

Have you considered the possibility that maybe my first language is not english or maybe I have learning disability and that my point is still valid dispite a small grammar mistake?
what? and actually respond to your point? that wouldn't be any fun.

you know what? in support of you I am going to leave my typo in my previous post.
Congo--Kinshasa
15-09-2006, 14:28
As a matter of fact, some visited last year. I answered the door fully nude, with a pentagram drawn on my chest in red marker. I said, "Yes, what can I do for you? I'm busy sacrificing a baby." They haven't returned since. :D


(Yes, this really happened)
Nobel Hobos
15-09-2006, 14:31
Jehovah's Witnesses have some very useful principles which other nutters would do well to emulate.

Dress in a suit and tie. Be polite. Express a polite interest in other's beliefs, firm in the conviction that you are absolutely correct anyway. Keep detailed records, by name and house number.
Of course, none of that overcomes the essential nuttiness of their beliefs. But it helps. Al Qaida could do the talk show circuit if they followed those principles.

And to make them go away? Physically threaten them. You might even get away with assaulting them, since they're so self-reliant and assured of God's protection, they probably won't report it to the police.

"Everyone's afraid of a religious nutter. Even other nutters are afraid of a religious nutter" -- someone, I forget.
Mac World
15-09-2006, 14:33
actually no, it's not heaven or hell for them, it's heaven, paradise, or nothing.

144,000 get to go to heaven to be at the right hand of Christ, and then the rest of they are JW get to live on earth after it's perfect, and then if you aren't JW you just die and there is nothing.

O rly. Isn't that really just mixing Christianity and whatever you pull out of your ass so you don't have to go to hell? I mean, do JWs consider themselves a denomination? Because I rank you guys up there with the Mormons when it comes to beliefs. Taking this and that from the Bible and making it into something entirely different and contradictory to what it actually states.

P.S. I'm agnostic and an anti-fundamentalist. I've also studied other denominations and the occult. My parents are Catholic and that's how I was raised. Just a little fyi on my background in case your wondering. I don't really care whether you believe in that stuff or not. I just think it makes more sense to follow your faith as a whole instead of focusing on one passage and coming up with a skewed translation of that particular passage.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 14:36
O rly. Isn't that really just mixing Christianity and whatever you pull out of your ass so you don't have to go to hell? I mean, do JWs consider themselves a denomination? Because I rank you guys up there with the Mormons when it comes to beliefs. Taking this and that from the Bible and making it into something entirely different and contradictory to what it actually states.
that's my take on it. They consider themselves Christian, but their beliefs about Christ don't fall into line with what I think is right.

P.S. I'm agnostic and an anti-fundamentalist. I've also studied other denominations and the occult. My parents are Catholic and that's how I was raised. Just a little fyi on my background in case your wondering. I don't really care whether you believe in that stuff or not. I just think it makes more sense to follow your faith as a whole instead of focusing on one passage and coming up with a skewed translation of that particular passage.

yeah, I am a fundamentalist Christian, but we can be friends.
Dakini
15-09-2006, 14:37
Here is how you get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses.

When they come to your door declare "I'm a Satanist and not interested" and shut the door in their faces.
When they return to ask you questions about your religion, be weilding a large knife and declare that they have interrupted a sacrifice, then shut the door in their faces again.


Or you could just pretend not to be home. Or spend several hours every Saturday for a year trying to convert them to your religion until you both realize that it's not going anywhere and they stop coming by. The first one is what one of my friends did, the second is what I'd do and the third is what my dad did.

Oh, and I like the mormons better than the Jehovah's witnesses, they're much nicer in their conversion attempts and will take "No, thank you, your beliefs are nice for you but not for me." as an answer much more quickly. Plus they only send out cute boys my age ripe for corruption... :evil:
Mac World
15-09-2006, 14:40
yeah, I am a fundamentalist Christian, but we can be friends.

lol. Jack Chick would have a heart attack if he heard that!

Catholic Fundi love--->:fluffle:
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 14:42
lol. Jack Chick would have a heart attack if he heard that!
chick is an idiot. ;)

Catholic Fundi love--->:fluffle:
I am actually Southern Baptist.
Mac World
15-09-2006, 14:45
Ah so you aren't Assembly of God, Evangelical, etc. Southern Baptist are cool. Love their pot luck dinners.
Lunatic Goofballs
15-09-2006, 15:08
chick is an idiot. ;)


I am actually Southern Baptist.

Let's be fair, Smunkee; You are not the typical Southern Baptist, either. YOu are what Southern Baptists ought to be. :)

Hell, if a group of religious people had more members like you, I would have much more respect for religion. :)
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 15:09
Let's be fair, Smunkee; You are not the typical Southern Baptist, either. YOu are what Southern Baptists ought to be. :)

Hell, if a group of religious people had more members like you, I would have much more respect for religion. :)

;) most of the people in my church are the same. I swear there is always the small group of idiots who think they speak for all of us.
Lunatic Goofballs
15-09-2006, 15:27
;) most of the people in my church are the same. I swear there is always the small group of idiots who think they speak for all of us.

And they always seem to be screaming the loudest. :p
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 15:31
And they always seem to be screaming the loudest. :p

and the most press :(

I remember when we were helping to prepare a place for Katrina survivers to stay a reporter talked to me for like 20 minutes and said at least 4 times "I think it's really good what you guys are doing here" and at least twice "you are such a caring person a true example of what a Christian should be" and then who did she interview for the news? the idiot.

He says on TV "we are gonna get all them here and let them stay, it don't matter if they are good or bad, or black or white, yellow or purple, we love all people because Jesus said to"

:headbang:
Dempublicents1
15-09-2006, 15:59
Where does he tell anyone that celebrating simple pleasures in life like the day you were born is abomination?

He doesn't. The explanation a Jehovah's Witness once gave me for not celebrating birthdays is that every time a birthday celebration is described in the Bible, it's something bad, like someone asking for John the Baptist's head on a plate for her birthday.
Edwardis
15-09-2006, 16:12
I think you mean "When I learn to type properly".

Have you considered the possibility that maybe my first language is not english or maybe I have learning disability and that my point is still valid dispite a small grammar mistake?

No, I don't mean type properly. Teh is a typing mistake. Typing a wrong word (which is not a homophone or whatever) is a language mistake that is usually caused by the transfer of improper speech into writing.

No, I didn't consider that English might not be your first language. But that doesn't matter. Neither does it matter if you have a learning diability. And before you yell racist and that I'm prejudice against those with learning disabilites, let me clarify. Those are not excuses for having it wrong. They may explain why you made the mistake, but you are still to be held to the same standard of everyone else. You might take more time to reach that standard, but it's still there for you.

And I didn't say that your point wasn't valid (I actually don't remember what your point was). All I said was that it would be better to use proper English for you idea to be respected and have more attention paid to it. I was so distracted by the grammar, that I really can't tell you what your point was.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 16:22
No, I don't mean type properly. Teh is a typing mistake. Typing a wrong word (which is not a homophone or whatever) is a language mistake that is usually caused by the transfer of improper speech into writing.

No, I didn't consider that English might not be your first language. But that doesn't matter. Neither does it matter if you have a learning diability. And before you yell racist and that I'm prejudice against those with learning disabilites, let me clarify. Those are not excuses for having it wrong. They may explain why you made the mistake, but you are still to be held to the same standard of everyone else. You might take more time to reach that standard, but it's still there for you.

And I didn't say that your point wasn't valid (I actually don't remember what your point was). All I said was that it would be better to use proper English for you idea to be respected and have more attention paid to it. I was so distracted by the grammar, that I really can't tell you what your point was.

do you nitpick because you are insecure, or are you just one of those people?
Edwardis
15-09-2006, 18:59
do you nitpick because you are insecure, or are you just one of those people?

Because I'm one of those people. I try to be very precise because that prevents misunderstandings from happening. I wasn't very precise or clear in our discussion a while back and it confused both of us. So if everything is spelled out completely and everything is broken down so that everyone can understand it, there is less confusion.

There may still be disagreement as often there is, but at least it won't be because one side doesn't understand the other.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 19:11
Because I'm one of those people. I try to be very precise because that prevents misunderstandings from happening. I wasn't very precise or clear in our discussion a while back and it confused both of us. So if everything is speeled out completely and evything is broken down so that everyone can understand it, there is less confusion.

There may still be disagreement as often there is, but at least it won't be because one side doesn't understand the other.

ah, but his meaning was still okay, he just messed up something minor, like you just did with the bolded words.

I won't point out the grammar usage and clarity problems. ;)
Edwardis
15-09-2006, 19:12
ah, but his meaning was still okay, he just messed up something minor, like you just did with the bolded words.

I won't point out the grammar usage and clarity problems. ;)

Ahh, so I did. But you did point them out, which is what you are supposed to do to facilitate better understanding, even with something so unimportant as a spelling mistake.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 19:15
Ahh, so I did. But you did point them out, which is what you are supposed to do to facilitate better understanding, even with something so unimportant as a spelling mistake.

it comes off as being elitist especailly when it's clear enough for you to understand their meaning.

I only question people when there is a question of their intent, I am not in the habit of pointing out tense misuse or spelling errors since I am in the habit of making those mistakes from time to time.
Edwardis
15-09-2006, 19:17
it comes off as being elitist especailly when it's clear enough for you to understand their meaning.

I only question people when there is a question of their intent, I am not in the habit of pointing out tense misuse or spelling errors since I am in the habit of making those mistakes from time to time.

What's inferred is not always what is implied or what is stated clearly, even.
Kalrai
15-09-2006, 19:17
My family has encountered them several times in our old house. My mom just shooed them away and they would usually suck it up and go. Since I now live in an apartment, and especially one that any higher power would have a hell of a time trying to find, I figured we were safe.

No, no.

They phone us now.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 19:20
What's inferred is not always what is implied or what is stated clearly, even.

true, and those are the times I question, but you were so rude as to point out a minor usage mistake. You know a LOT of the people around here speak English as a second or third or even fourth language, it's to be expected that there would be minor mistakes made.
Ginnoria
15-09-2006, 19:23
I once lived across the street from a family of Jehovah Witnesses :eek:
But they were ok people, once they understood we didn't want to be converted.
Rainbowwws
15-09-2006, 19:26
Does anyone find that they don't jump into the religious stuff right away? They say that there isn't enough love in the world then they offer you a magazine on love and a second magazine on Jesus Christ.
Edwardis
15-09-2006, 19:27
true, and those are the times I question, but you were so rude as to point out a minor usage mistake. You know a LOT of the people around here speak English as a second or third or even fourth language, it's to be expected that there would be minor mistakes made.

I understand that. And I understand that he may have taken offence. However, that was not my intention. That was an instance when I didn't imply something, but it was inferred anyway. I don't think it was rude to correct his grammar and then give a reason for why correct grammar is needed that is in no way linked to prejudice to that person.

I didn't say, "You stupid person! Learn English!"

I said that the case which was used was incorrect and that the misuse of cases is often cause for prejudice and dismissal of the argument as irrelavent because it comes from someone who doesn't know how to speak correctly. How then could he be able to form an idea that makes sense? I don't support this view, but it is subconcious to many of us.

I don't think that I was rude. I grant that I may have been and that I could have used language that was more gentle, but I don't think I was rude.

Edit: Actually, now that I reread what I said, I am offended myself. It wasn't my intent, but my actual words did come off as very elitist. Thank you for pointing that out.
Grave_n_idle
15-09-2006, 19:30
I'll grant you that, but where does he forbid celebration?

Where does he tell anyone that celebrating simple pleasures in life like the day you were born is abomination?

I can understand not celebrating the pagan holidays that the Catholic Church ursurped, like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, Valentines day, etc...but not to have any holidays to commerate important religious event, especially in a Judeo-Christian religion?

It makes no sense.

"Why not celebrate the life that God gave you?"

(Says the Atheist to the Agnostic)


I have my own reasons for not celebrating birthdays... my own, at least. (My mother did the work, why do I get the presents...?)

But, I'm not actually trying to argue against celebrating anything... when I still lived in the UK, I made a special effort to celebrate Thanksgiving - even though it is very much not an English celebration - and I certainly think people should celebrate which ever days feel special to them....

But, at the same time - there really is no scriptural reason to observe these 'christian' festivals, so I don't see that NOT celebrating them is 'unchristian'.

Each to their own, I say.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 19:35
Edit: Actually, now that I reread what I said, I am offended myself. It wasn't my intent, but my actual words did come off as very elitist. Thank you for pointing that out.
no problem, I am sure you will return the favor someday (at least I hope you will ;))
Baisch
15-09-2006, 19:42
Why stop at making fun of JW's. Let start a thread making fun of Buddhism, Catholics, Baptist, Sciencetology, etc....
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 19:44
Why stop at making fun of JW's. Let start a thread making fun of Buddhism, Catholics, Baptist, Sciencetology, etc....

why don't you start with Baptist? I'll be there in a minute.
Parmazano
15-09-2006, 19:48
well you see i am a Jehovah's Witness and i dont see anything you lot are saying which could turn me away from your door. i mean i dont even go door to door but just to see some of the ways you would get rid of me i would do it. but what i dont get is. you insault my relgion with the ways you rave about it. we belive what we want to belive and if you got a proplem with it then its all you. if we show up on your door just either pretend your not in or just answer and say "no thank you i am a christian". its all your belifes and i dont relly care what i belive. and only 144,000 people go to hevan where the hell did you get that from, thats not it, its all people who have followed god's words to the meaning. or if not to the best you can. only god can decide who gets into the new garden of eden. and its him alone who can decide. oh and by the way there is a hell but no heaven. you die and youve been bad you end up there. one of satans minions. but you die and youve been good then you will lie dormant and wake up when god takes over the world and destroys all evil. so like i said belive what you wanna belive its your choice. if you like to do it before marrige then go for it :fluffle: if you like to kill people go for it :sniper: :mp5: and strangly if you like to do stupid things like run around chasing imagionary squrils naked :gundge: or hit your head against a wall for ever :headbang: then go for it?
Parmazano
15-09-2006, 19:54
oh and if any one wants me im in the game. you know just for a chat about war and such. such a bloddy concept yet so intreging. hmmm i wonder what a war in the futer would be like. any way user parmazano. you will find me im the one with all the lonnies after me caze i destroyed two of there nations. and they didnt like it. but you know what i will destroy more of there nations mwuhahahaha :mp5: :sniper:
The Nazz
15-09-2006, 19:55
well you see i am a Jehovah's Witness
No you aren't, not if you're being serious in that post.
Anglachel and Anguirel
15-09-2006, 20:00
No you aren't, not if you're being serious in that post.
Personally, I'm going to take Parmazano's word on his religion over your stereotypes of what that religion necessitates.
Deep Kimchi
15-09-2006, 20:02
No you aren't, not if you're being serious in that post.

Nazz, recently I've taken to telling Jehovah's who come to the door asking if I know Jesus that there's someone in California who used to know where he is, but she dropped him off at the dry cleaners, and when she came back, he was gone.
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 20:02
Personally, I'm going to take Parmazano's word on his religion over your stereotypes of what that religion necessitates.

uh... he doesn't even go along with the little book they hand out.
The Nazz
15-09-2006, 20:06
Personally, I'm going to take Parmazano's word on his religion over your stereotypes of what that religion necessitates.

No stereotypes coming from me. As I said earlier in the thread, I was a JW for 26 years, and only left 12 years ago (calculation of my age is left as an exercise for the student :D). And I wasn't just a hanger-on either--my dad was an elder, the Presiding Overseer of our congregation for many years. I was baptized when I was 14, and was a regular pioneer (full-time minister) for two years. I did volunteer work at the world headquarters in Brooklyn when I was 18, and gave speeches at circuit assemblies. I left the church because I discovered how willfully blind they were about the natural world, and that caused me to question other parts of the doctrine. I know the doctrine because it was a part of life from the time I was an infant, and it isn't what that poster said it was.
The Nazz
15-09-2006, 20:07
Nazz, recently I've taken to telling Jehovah's who come to the door asking if I know Jesus that there's someone in California who used to know where he is, but she dropped him off at the dry cleaners, and when she came back, he was gone.

I haven't had any come to my door since I left the church, but I imagine I'd say something like I found him behind the sofa.

I'm also a fan of the bumpersticker that says "God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him."
Anglachel and Anguirel
15-09-2006, 20:08
No stereotypes coming from me. As I said earlier in the thread, I was a JW for 26 years, and only left 12 years ago (calculation of my age is left as an exercise for the student :D). And I wasn't just a hanger-on either--my dad was an elder, the Presiding Overseer of our congregation for many years. I was baptized when I was 14, and was a regular pioneer (full-time minister) for two years. I did volunteer work at the world headquarters in Brooklyn when I was 18, and gave speeches at circuit assemblies. I left the church because I discovered how willfully blind they were about the natural world, and that caused me to question other parts of the doctrine. I know the doctrine because it was a part of life from the time I was an infant, and it isn't what that poster said it was.
That's because he had no punctuation. Complete ideas cannot be formed without punctuation.

Other than that, the majority of it seemed pretty JW-ish, though I recognize that he's a little more lax about doctrine than most.
The New Tundran Empire
15-09-2006, 20:12
This is to all Jehova witnesse's (although they probably thought another crazy thing as why they cant have cimputers):
Please, i am no longer asking you, I am begging you, just......leave me alone...please....just stop coming.....PLEASE


One day (true story), they came six times, in a span of 2 hours, i got to the point where i ended up cursing at them, and telling them to leave me alone...so they left...and told there elder members who came to me and tried to preach there crazy crap on violence, i flipped at that point, sayiong things such as "WHAT DO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, I DONT LIKE YOU, STOP TRYING TO CONVERT ME" and "WHAT IF I LIKE CHRISTAMS!!!!!:upyours: " but yes, and I think theyll stay away. for now........:eek:
Narache
15-09-2006, 20:13
And why do they keep predicting armageddon when it never comes? Like the world didn't end just because we entered 2000
The New Tundran Empire
15-09-2006, 20:19
And why do they keep predicting armageddon when it never comes? Like the world didn't end just because we entered 2000

yes........now they say 2012 is the year, but watch, we will come out with a new car, and wont have to drill for oil anymore or use it up, and help the world actually survive, they would crap there pants:D:D
Narache
15-09-2006, 20:23
yes........now they say 2012 is the year, but watch, we will come out with a new car, and wont have to drill for oil anymore or use it up, and help the world actually survive, they would crap there pants:D:D

Yay I'm looking forward to that lol :D
Parmazano
15-09-2006, 20:29
look so im a little laid back then other "JW'S??" but it doesnt mean i dont like the odd game about war now and again. it happens it is kinda relgious. it shows how satan has corrupted mand into killing each other. but like i said belive what you wanna belive. cause i live in the UK. and it would take me a long time to get to your house if i ever wanted to do the door to door service. and you are kinda right. the elders are a bit blind. but they are only like that as they want to follow God's words to the full. you know how would you say it oh yeh "tak it to the man". is that right. well any way. i am what i wanna be and i dont need some small person to go around telling me that my relgion sucks cause i could say the same about evalution if i wanted to. buts its your choice what you wanna belive so just leave it llike that ok. (ohh and fuzz my dialog is like it is as A: im british and B: im dysprxic so thats why its fuzzy. but i still spell pretty darn good just my memorie sucks a lot no relly a lot lot lot).
Parmazano
15-09-2006, 20:52
and also personly nobody can say when the world ends. only god himself can decied that


(plus i didnt mean to sound angry in the last message just frustration. frustration that you cant see that you will all end up being done for racsium. apart from the people which belived that i was a Jehovias Wittness. but the rest will all get the book thrown at them for being idiots which just dont know when to stop. but thats only if MI7 or the CIA gets wind of this so hush hush and be quiet. oh and im blind :cool: but my other sences are enharnced so gess how hard life is for me. you worry about me comeing to your door. hell unless i smell or hear you i wont even be able to get to your door).
Smunkeeville
15-09-2006, 21:01
look so im a little laid back then other "JW'S??"
not laid back. off base.

JW's don't believe in hell as punishment or torture at all.

oh and by the way there is a hell but no heaven. you die and youve been bad you end up there. one of satans minions.


What, then, is the condition of the dead? When pronouncing sentence upon Adam, Jehovah stated: "Dust you are and to dust you will return." (Genesis 3:19) Where was Adam before God formed him from the dust of the ground and gave him life? Why, he simply did not exist! When he died, Adam returned to that state of complete absence of life. The condition of the dead is made clear at Ecclesiastes 9:5, 10, where we read: "The dead know nothing . . . In the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." (New International Version) Scripturally, death is a state of nonexistence. The dead have no awareness, no feelings, no thoughts.

Since the dead have no conscious existence, hell cannot be a fiery place of torment where the wicked suffer after death. What, then, is hell? Examining what happened to Jesus after he died helps to answer that question. The Bible writer Luke recounts: "Neither was [Jesus] forsaken in Hades [hell, King James Version] nor did his flesh see corruption."* (Acts 2:31) Where was the hell to which even Jesus went? The apostle Paul wrote: "I handed on to you . . . that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures; and that he was buried, yes, that he has been raised up the third day according to the Scriptures." (1 Corinthians 15:3, 4) So Jesus was in hell, the grave, but he was not abandoned there, for he was raised up, or resurrected.


http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/7/15/article_02.htm
Deep Kimchi
15-09-2006, 21:43
I haven't had any come to my door since I left the church, but I imagine I'd say something like I found him behind the sofa.

I'm also a fan of the bumpersticker that says "God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him."

The one thing I haven't been able to understand:

Oh yes, I love Jesus, and I believe in Him. And, I believe I'm supposed to spread the Word, but I'm not stupid about it.

Plenty of people not receptive to the idea of any God, or any religion out there. Plenty of people who already have the religion they like. And, if that's the way they like to live, then I'm sure that nothing I could say will ever change their minds - better to let them live as they wish, and stay away from the topic.

Sure, if someone is wanting to learn about my view of religion, I'm more than glad to help them out.

But annoying the shit out of people who are not even close to receptive strikes me as planting seed on hard concrete - it just doesn't work.
Cymru-Caerleon
16-09-2006, 17:42
The one thing I haven't been able to understand:

Oh yes, I love Jesus, and I believe in Him. And, I believe I'm supposed to spread the Word, but I'm not stupid about it.

Plenty of people not receptive to the idea of any God, or any religion out there. Plenty of people who already have the religion they like. And, if that's the way they like to live, then I'm sure that nothing I could say will ever change their minds - better to let them live as they wish, and stay away from the topic.

Sure, if someone is wanting to learn about my view of religion, I'm more than glad to help them out.

But annoying the shit out of people who are not even close to receptive strikes me as planting seed on hard concrete - it just doesn't work.

I agree totally. It also helps to go in with a somewhat open mind and ask them questions about their faith and why they believe. It also helps to know when to quit.
Anti-Social Darwinism
16-09-2006, 18:47
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?

It's a cult. Not the most dangerous cult, but a cult nonetheless. Once a person converts, they are asked to cut all but the most superficial ties with friends and family and to devote all their work and income to the church. I find them ludicrous.
Parmazano
18-09-2006, 16:51
smunkville (sry if i spelt your name worng). you post that yet it only has what god's son and what happened when he died. and adam he was made of dust and dirt. when he died he returned to dust from which he was made of. god's son was good and thus being resirected. try and find something on hell and whats it is like then you might accturly prove something. you cant post something about good people and saying that they went to hell. what you put up wasnt right for the post you put in. like i said find something on a bad person in the bible and then mabey i will consider reading it.
Smunkeeville
18-09-2006, 16:54
smunkville (sry if i spelt your name worng). you post that yet it only has what god's son and what happened when he died. and adam he was made of dust and dirt. when he died he returned to dust from which he was made of. god's son was good and thus being resirected. try and find something on hell and whats it is like then you might accturly prove something. you cant post something about good people and saying that they went to hell. what you put up wasnt right for the post you put in. like i said find something on a bad person in the bible and then mabey i will consider reading it.
you missed the point of my post. I didn't post anything about what I believe, I was posting in reply to you saying you were JW and then you go and misstated everything about the doctrine that they believe, complete contradiction, and claim it's you being "laid back".
Peepelonia
18-09-2006, 17:04
He and his family. It's the subject of the sentence and therefore in nominative case, not objective.

If you learn to speak properly, you are more likely to be taken seriously.


Watch out watch out grammar nazi about!:p
UpwardThrust
18-09-2006, 17:12
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?
I saw two of them double team someone trying to walk across a street for god sakes

Thankfully the guy was smart enough to tell them to blow themselfs before they got hit
Peepelonia
18-09-2006, 17:14
My family has encountered them several times in our old house. My mom just shooed them away and they would usually suck it up and go. Since I now live in an apartment, and especially one that any higher power would have a hell of a time trying to find, I figured we were safe.

No, no.

They phone us now.

My brother was acousted in the street by them once and he said yeah I'm very interested but I'm in a hurry at the mo, could you possibly call n at my house?

They where of course delighted, and asked for his phone number and address, hehehe he gave them our Dad's heheh. It was great and my Dad still don't kow which of his children done the deed!
Krensonia
18-09-2006, 17:17
Be carefull when talking about Jehova's. My girlfriend is being forced by her parents to be a jehovah. She is completely isolated and is being fed with propaganda and such. She once send me this piece which she was forced to read. It's in dutch so I wont post it here but it comes down to it that every non-jehovah follower is just someone who wishes to corrupt her and should not be interacted with. She is at the point of getting crazy and she attempted suicide. We often meet up when she sneaks away and she tends to have wounds etc from her parents smacking her. Jehovah's take the bible literaly and thus believe it is good to smack your children, hard.

Luckily though, she perfectly understands this is nonesense and she means to leave her home when she's sixteen(we're both 14 right now). It's difficult sometimes for me to try and comfort her. But hey, When I fel in love with her I didnt know anything of that. Even so. We were in love with each other for over 18 months.. but neither of that dared to admit. Even so. Jehovah's are just as worse as any other extremist group. I tend to respect nearly each and every religion. But they just drive their children to be mad.
UpwardThrust
18-09-2006, 17:17
Why stop at making fun of JW's. Let start a thread making fun of Buddhism, Catholics, Baptist, Sciencetology, etc....

We have and will always have thoes threads add to that agnostics atheists muslims calvinists theiests deists and any other religion, belief or lack there of you care to name
Naturality
19-09-2006, 05:12
Be carefull when talking about Jehova's. My girlfriend is being forced by her parents to be a jehovah. She is completely isolated and is being fed with propaganda and such. She once send me this piece which she was forced to read. It's in dutch so I wont post it here but it comes down to it that every non-jehovah follower is just someone who wishes to corrupt her and should not be interacted with. She is at the point of getting crazy and she attempted suicide. We often meet up when she sneaks away and she tends to have wounds etc from her parents smacking her. Jehovah's take the bible literaly and thus believe it is good to smack your children, hard.

Luckily though, she perfectly understands this is nonesense and she means to leave her home when she's sixteen(we're both 14 right now). It's difficult sometimes for me to try and comfort her. But hey, When I fel in love with her I didnt know anything of that. Even so. We were in love with each other for over 18 months.. but neither of that dared to admit. Even so. Jehovah's are just as worse as any other extremist group. I tend to respect nearly each and every religion. But they just drive their children to be mad.

:( Hope all works out well for her
Parmazano
20-09-2006, 07:40
but that also brings up anthour topic. why do people go and rob houses and then try and pass of as a wittnes? and anthour thing well accturly i cant rember stick with the first Q.
East of Eden is Nod
20-09-2006, 07:57
Has anyone on this forum encountered the religious nuts that are the Jehovah's witnesses?

Two of them appeared on my doorstep a few months ago and spoke to my brother. They basically asked him his views on religion and world affairs, and were generally very polite. I had expected they would decry him as a heretic, but they seemed quite understanding.

The they came back a week earlier and gave us this magazine outlining all of their beliefs. It was absolutely nuts. They didn't allow blood transfusions, voting in democratic elections, nationalistic sentiment etc amongst other things.

They essentially believe that any and all differences between nations and people can be countered by converting everyone to their religion after Armageddon which will destroy all the worlds governments and nations as we know them, which have apparently just been filling in for "God's Kingdom" whilst Jesus has been away. The entire background of the magazine was a landscape of a new Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and pretty butterflies. The folks in the garden were all different nationalities and they were all smily and ridiculously happy.

What I really don't like is the fact that they keep... coming... back.... Apparently whilst I was on holiday for 3 weeks they were at my doorstep several times. Last time they visited was less than a fortnight ago. Thank goodness I'm moving house anyway.


So anyone else care to share your opinions and experiences with Jehovahs winesses or similiar religions?

Those folks are merely witnesses of how low humans can get when they put faith over facts. The live in a constant state of denial and mental illness. In fact I do not consider JWs or Mormons or Rastafarians as part of the homo sapiens species.
Novus-America
20-09-2006, 08:26
A friend of mine told me how he delt with these people when he saw them walking up is driveway. He took off his shirt, stuck a cigarette in his mouth, and slung his dad's shotgun over his shoulder. When he answered, he gave them a passe look and said, "Can I help you?"

They never bothered him again.
Klystah
20-09-2006, 08:35
Meh, they used to piss me off, but then I worked with a couple and used to go to my foremamns house to repair his computer, and have dinner.
They are fine, apart from the door knocking.
I asked all the akward questions, and got straightforward responses (I mean, they were forthcoming).
And I also got a watchtower magazine to read, I told him the pictures were cool, but the content didn't really gel with my thoughts on all things spiritual, which is to say I am a militant atheist.
But, as people, his family were real sweet, and didn't pressure me at all, I asked, they provided.
His kids really were like Rod and Tod Flanders :D

I had a JW come here (home) once. I said, "not interested", and he went away.

We have a JW receptionist at work. She is pretty sweet, (its refreshing to hear someone who doesn't swear, ever), but I try to be considerate in what I say around her, I know some of you might find this to be pandering to her needs, but its no skin off my back.

As far as I know of, JW's haven't started any wars, won't bore you with politics, don't seem to have a record of habitually molesting children like some other *ahem* religions, and tend to keep to themselves, apart from the door to door thingy.


If all I have to deal with is the occaisional doorbell, which as others have colourfully proven, can be dealt with, then who cares.

They don't seem to do much harm compared to "others".

PS- I live in NZ, the Exclusive Bretheren are far more dangerous in my opinion.