NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, I don't know if this is funny, or pathetic, or a combination of the two. I recently tried EHarmony free personality test (value at $40) and I was as honest as possible, and when I was done (this took a good 30 minutes or more) I got back a message that says "Sorry we can't find any matches" Jeez for something that is "valued" at $40 they would've found at least one person!

I plan on suing them for false advertisement. If I can't find true love, at least I'll have money!

Maybe you're just some kind of weirdo who will never find anyone he's truly compatible with. Or maybe Eharmony is just fucked up.

Maybe you're just some kind of weirdo who will never find anyone he's truly compatible with. Or maybe Eharmony is just fucked up.

I think I'll go with #1. At least then I can brag that I am one of a kind.

Sorry your not one of a kind, I have tried there test more then once over a period of time just for the hell of it and I get the same thing each time

I sense many nights spent with porn and hand lotion in your future. :p

Sorry your not one of a kind, I have tried there test more then once over a period of time just for the hell of it and I get the same thing each time

What the hell was the point of the test then? I mean if they were after my money (which they were) they would've at least post some matches.

I sense many nights spent with porn and hand lotion in your future. :p

Ummm... :p

I sense many nights spent with porn and hand lotion in your future. :p

Ummm... :p

A prediction or an offer? :D

do you think youre unusual?

does eharmony promise to find you someone near you or someone somewhere in the world? maybe there just arent enough women in your area who have signed up so there arent matches for most people.

it doesnt seem likely to me that they could reject you so easily if they had a big enough database to choose from. most people are compatible with SOMEONE.

do you think youre unusual?

does eharmony promise to find you someone near you or someone somewhere in the world? maybe there just arent enough women in your area who have signed up so there arent matches for most people.

it doesnt seem likely to me that they could reject you so easily if they had a big enough database to choose from. most people are compatible with SOMEONE.

The Key word is Most my dear Ashmoria.

I got no matches either. Shit, for filling out a questionaire that long they at least owe me a coupon for a free lap dance or something.

Bah. Never trust anything that was founded by a "Focus on the Family" guy.

Maybe you are gay? They don't do gay relationship matching. :p

I find it amazing that someone can run a business claiming to use "scientific measures" of personality to assure customers that they will "find love".

Really, you're better off with a membership on Adult Friend Finder. At least you'll get laid.

Bah. Never trust anything that was founded by a "Focus on the Family" guy.

Maybe you are gay? They don't do gay relationship matching. :p

I can't turn gay. Do you know how much money I have invested in straight and lesbian porn? Replacing a collection that size with gay porn would put me in the poorhouse.

Bah. Never trust anything that was founded by a "Focus on the Family" guy.

Maybe you are gay? They don't do gay relationship matching. :p

Nah, I accidently sat on a cucumber one time, and I did not like it.

The Key word is Most my dear Ashmoria.

im very aware of that, wilgrove. thats why i asked if you think you are unusual.

maybe you are but ive known some highly unlikely people who had no trouble finding true love.

it seems to me that if eharmony can only match up extremely psychologically sound, well balanced people with each other, its pretty specialized. sure it will help the nice lady down the street avoid getting together with the recently released convict but well balanced well, rounded people dont really NEED a dating service. we who are a bit off balance need the help. if they cant help us, what good are they?

I find it amazing that someone can run a business claiming to use "scientific measures" of personality to assure customers that they will "find love".

Really, you're better off with a membership on Adult Friend Finder. At least you'll get laid.

i tend to rant when their ad comes on the tv. they dont just promise you a date with a nice girl, they promise to find you a freaking SOULMATE. they promise that the first kiss will be the best kiss of your entire life.

considering how they over-promise results it doesnt surprise me that there isnt a soulmate for everyone who takes the test. what are the chances that MY soulmate is going to be a member of their ridiculous site?

I've tried e-dating several times. I never get any responses. I suspect it's because I'm honest in my description of myself.

i tend to rant when their ad *snip*

I must of missed the memo about ads being honest. :p

I've tried e-dating several times. I never get any responses. I suspect it's because I'm honest in my description of myself.

There's nothing wrong with being honest, just don't be too honest. *nod*

I must of missed the memo about ads being honest. :p

for all i know they believe their own crap.

if ads were true, who would need to rant?

im very aware of that, wilgrove. thats why i asked if you think you are unusual.

maybe you are but ive known some highly unlikely people who had no trouble finding true love.

it seems to me that if eharmony can only match up extremely psychologically sound, well balanced people with each other, its pretty specialized. sure it will help the nice lady down the street avoid getting together with the recently released convict but well balanced well, rounded people dont really NEED a dating service. we who are a bit off balance need the help. if they cant help us, what good are they?

Yea, why would balanced people who are sociable need a dating site? Dating sites are for un-balanced hermits like me dammit!

Ok, I don't know if this is funny, or pathetic, or a combination of the two. I recently tried EHarmony free personality test (value at $40) and I was as honest as possible, and when I was done (this took a good 30 minutes or more) I got back a message that says "Sorry we can't find any matches" Jeez for something that is "valued" at $40 they would've found at least one person!

I plan on suing them for false advertisement. If I can't find true love, at least I'll have money!

Actually, I did that test too, ages ago, just for fun. They didn't find any matches for ME at the time, either. (They might have by now, but I never gave them any money to sign me up for the program, so...who cares.)

The good news is, it means they're being really selective, they don't want to give you somebody who is almost good for you but not quite.

Actually, I did that test too, ages ago, just for fun. They didn't find any matches for ME at the time, either. (They might have by now, but I never gave them any money to sign me up for the program, so...who cares.)

The good news is, it means they're being really selective, they don't want to give you somebody who is almost good for you but not quite.

However, I am NOT that selective. I would be happy with someone who is almost good for me. lol.

Yea, why would balanced people who are sociable need a dating site? Dating sites are for un-balanced hermits like me dammit!

there are "dating" services for hermits like you. i believe dk mentioned one. sure they arent the kind of girls you bring home to mama but they will show you a very good time for about the same amount of cash that it takes (over time in dating expenses) to get a proper girl to have sex with you

Yea, why would balanced people who are sociable need a dating site? Dating sites are for un-balanced hermits like me dammit!

I though mail order brides were you guys like you?

I though mail order brides were you guys like you?

They always turn up dead. Those damn people in the Phillipines keep on forgetting to put in air holes and food/water!

Actually, I did that test too, ages ago, just for fun. They didn't find any matches for ME at the time, either. (They might have by now, but I never gave them any money to sign me up for the program, so...who cares.)

The good news is, it means they're being really selective, they don't want to give you somebody who is almost good for you but not quite.

I've been looking around online and it seems eHarmony rejects about 20% of the applicants. Members of this 20% get the "we have no matches for you at this time" message. Why? Well, if you've had 3 or more previous marriages, you're out. Also if your answers indicate a "low energy level" they assume you're clinically depressed and reject you. In addition to that the program compares your answers to the questions and decides if you're being honest. If it thinks you're lying you're out.

So they're so advanced that they can not only diagnose clinical depression over the internet, but they can even detect lies like a polygraph without hooking you up to any machinery.

They always turn up dead. Those damn people in the Phillipines keep on forgetting to put in air holes and food/water!

:D

There's nothing wrong with being honest, just don't be too honest. *nod*

Like actually admitting in my profile that I'm disabled.

Whats the difference between a dating service and a pimp? The with the pimp, there's less BS.

I've been looking around online and it seems eHarmony rejects about 20% of the applicants. Members of this 20% get the "we have no matches for you at this time" message. Why? Well, if you've had 3 or more previous marriages, you're out. Also if your answers indicate a "low energy level" they assume you're clinically depressed and reject you. In addition to that the program compares your answers to the questions and decides if you're being honest. If it thinks you're lying you're out.

So they're so advanced that they can not only diagnose clinical depression over the internet, but they can even detect lies like a polygraph without hooking you up to any machinery.

Oh. Well, it's true that I have a low energy level. Hell, maybe I am depressed. I'll just go kill myself, then. Thanks, eHarmony!

;)

I find it amazing that someone can run a business claiming to use "scientific measures" of personality to assure customers that they will "find love".

Really, you're better off with a membership on Adult Friend Finder. At least you'll get laid.

I also got the "you're unmatchable" message. IIRC they say something like 20% of all applicants are "unmatchable". E-harmony is obviously looking for boring people to match with other boring people. If you have any kind of distinct, let alone interesting, personality, you don't fit the profile.

As for AFF, most of the "women" there are either professionals (hint: if she's looking for a "generous gentleman", she's a ho) or female impersonators hoping you'll send them a picture of your unit.

You're better off signing up for one of those "sure-fire ways to ATTRACT WOMEN" sites. At least with them, after you shell out $79.99 or whatever to get their systems, you have a few CD's you can use for coasters.

Whats the difference between a dating service and a pimp? The with the pimp, there's less BS.

The differences between ordinary dating and call girls or other professionals? One activity is more socially acceptable than the other, one activity is more honest about its goal than the other, and one activity is more certain of achieving that goal than the other. ;)

You can always turn to the dating power of the Hannity (http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/)!

You can always turn to the dating power of the Hannity (http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/)!

*SHUDDER*

the only thing more disturbing than finding out that your handsome, rich, intelligent new gentleman caller is a fan of sean hannity is finding out that he is a fan of michael savage.

i suppose that it IS a very specialized group, one that could not possibly be served by general dating services. how hard it would be to match up people who are so enamored of hannity that they would subscribe to his webpage!

*SHUDDER*

the only thing more disturbing than finding out that your handsome, rich, intelligent new gentleman caller is a fan of sean hannity is finding out that he is a fan of michael savage.

i suppose that it IS a very specialized group, one that could not possibly be served by general dating services. how hard it would be to match up people who are so enamored of hannity that they would subscribe to his webpage!

Don't worry, sister. Nobody who's a fan of Sean Hannity or Michael Savage would be interested in you anyway (or at least, they may want your body, but your mind would make it not worth the trouble). They tend to avoid, e.g., card-carrying members of the Hairy Armpit wing of the Feminazi Party.

Not that you're such a person, right? ;)

Well, EHarmony may not like me, but apparently Yahoo personals does. I've actually met someone. :D

One of my female friends set me up with one of her friends. So far so good. :cool:

Don't worry, sister. Nobody who's a fan of Sean Hannity or Michael Savage would be interested in you anyway (or at least, they may want your body, but your mind would make it not worth the trouble). They tend to avoid, e.g., card-carrying members of the Hairy Armpit wing of the Feminazi Party.

Not that you're such a person, right? ;)


why new mitanni, i believe youre trying to bait me.

why new mitanni, i believe youre trying to bait me.

It must be love...

I filled that out a bit back, just for kicks, and I didn't get the "no matches" message. I got the "you are unmatchable" message. They acculy said straight out that my personality was compleltly unmatchable with their system, and they had to reject me out of hand.

I filled that out a bit back, just for kicks, and I didn't get the "no matches" message. I got the "you are unmatchable" message. They acculy said straight out that my personality was compleltly unmatchable with their system, and they had to reject me out of hand.

Whole categories of people are automatically excluded. For instance, if you've been divorced more than a few times.

Ok, I don't know if this is funny, or pathetic, or a combination of the two. I recently tried EHarmony free personality test (value at $40) and I was as honest as possible, and when I was done (this took a good 30 minutes or more) I got back a message that says "Sorry we can't find any matches" Jeez for something that is "valued" at $40 they would've found at least one person!

I plan on suing them for false advertisement. If I can't find true love, at least I'll have money!

This happened to a friend of mine about a year ago. They returned his cash -- I think it's in their by-laws.

I got no matches either. Shit, for filling out a questionaire that long they at least owe me a coupon for a free lap dance or something.

Have you been to the Las Vegas "Spearmint Rhino"? :eek:

Best. Place. Ever.

Have you been to the Las Vegas "Spearmint Rhino"? :eek:

Best. Place. Ever.

I've never been farther west than Kansas City, Missouri.

why new mitanni, i believe youre trying to bait me.

Naw, I'd never do anything like that, as everyone knows :D

It must be love...

Opposites may attract, but matter and anti-matter only annihilate :D

I took that stupid test, frickin long and stupid it is. I also got the "no matches" message. No worries though, I already have someone.

wow you people are so stupid... i answered the pathetically long test truly and honestly honestly and I got 5 matches. 3 are in my city, and 2 are in a city nearby.... what kind of people are you?!?!?!?!:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

wow you people are so stupid... i answered the pathetically long test truly and honestly honestly and I got 5 matches. 3 are in my city, and 2 are in a city nearby.... what kind of people are you?!?!?!?!:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

People who spend all of there time on forums talking about how they can't get a date.

I can't get a date either, man. I can't even ask a girl out. I'm 13, and by my age, most people have dated (usually for about a few months) several people. Anybody who gets me a date, I will give them my everlasting respect.