NationStates Jolt Archive

(A long, serious read, but it has to be done)

Today I ran into an old friend from junior high, and we were talking about old classmates, old teachers, etc. So that got me into the reminiscing mood. This afternoon I found a *very* old yearbook from my old elementary/middle school before I moved out-of-state. We're talking seven or eight years ago, people.

So I'm flipping thru the black and white pages, seeing faces I hadn't even thought about for years. It was a weird feeling... just seeing these people brought back memories I never could have remembered off the top of my head.

For the most part it was a positive thing. I even browsed Facebook for awhile, occasionally stumbling across the userpages of some very, very old friends. I even messaged a few...

Anyway, now for the crappy part.

There was one student in particular who never really got along well with the others. He had an odd first name (Puck), and an even odder last name, which I won't state for privacy's sake. Other then that he was pretty normal as middle schoolers go, if a bit zany, but for some reason the class collectively shunned him. It was stupid and cruel, but we were just kids.

I remember an incident one afternoon where for one reason or another some assholes roused the whole lunchroom to chant some stupid insult at Puck. Even the janitor joined in. Disgusting. Puck laughed nervously with us to save face, but was obviously badly affected by it. I saw him crying in the office later.

Suffice to say, he left school that day, and we all got a very stern lecture. We got the idea that it was Puck's fault for getting us in trouble. We took it out on him.

Later that year he moved to another town, and I moved out-of-state that summer. I'm pretty sure he was having family troubles at the time, mostly with his mother.

So, back to the present day. I Google Puck's name, as I did for my other classmates. Up comes a myspace profile for a band from the town Puck moved to. Turns out it's a hardcore emo rock band, and Puck was the bassist. I vaguely remembered the lunchroom incident, but I still had to laugh a little about how he turned out.

Another link went to Puck's myspace page. What I read knocked the mirth right out of me. For one thing, he looks like crap, like he has an eating disorder or something. Dark circles under the eyes, filthy hair, a dead look on his face. This wasn't the cliched emo look. This was serious. He looked like a serial killer. Even his friends' comments sounded a bit scared for him.

His blog entry was worse. He's a drug addict, he takes all kinds. Marijuana, ecstasy, whatever he can get his hands on. Apparently, his mother discovered this, and secretly registered him for one of those forced-rehab camps out West. He commented that if it hadn't been for his dad telling him beforehand, thugs working for the camp would have literally kidnapped him and dragged him away from home.

The next and final entry, posted a few months later, showed no signs of improvement. He had just arrived home for a "vacation" from camp. He sounded unbalanced and irrational. He said he had been trying to kill one of the instructors. There were no posts after that.

Looking back at past events, I feel like it was our fault, all of us, that he turned out like this. Our class hounded him; we were more than bullying, but cruel. And while at the time we all felt like we were just having a good laugh, we were most likely driving him towards the state he's in now. Depressed, malnourished, drug-addicted.

Wait. There's more.

After musing on these events, I saw the picture of a girl named Chenoe. Puck may have been average, but by middle-school standards, Chenoe was genuinely weird. She was thin and whispy, with stringy black hair and big-frame transparent glasses. She had a mousey voice and a nagging disposition. She was generally quiet, but could get on your nerves. I think she may have suffered from some mild physical or mental disorder.

Sadly, cruelly, she got bullied as well. I didn't personally take part, but I didn't try to help either. On the playground she got made fun of. She was constantly put down. She had pet hermit crabs, of all things, and on Bring You Pet to School Day the school bullies threw rocks at them. Everybody else laughed. Including me. I try to tell myself I was just going along with the crowd, with peer pressure, but... still. It's inexcusable.

I don't know what happened ended up happening to her. A Google search on her name turned up zero results.

Well, that's that. I feel like an ass and there's no way to fix it. I don't even know how to end this adequately. I just had to get it off my chest.

Jesus Christ...

I would HATE to be at your school....

Wow..I know an incident sorta like that..Where we all used to make fun of this kid..He was..a little..scuzzy..well he tried to kill me one day, and that was the last time i made fun of anyone at school. But don't feel like an ass. That guy, he mae his own decisions. We have all faced ridicule and such, but most of us turn out right. So just don't feel too bad :)

Wow..I know an incident sorta like that..Where we all used to make fun of this kid..He was..a little..scuzzy..well he tried to kill me one day, and that was the last time i made fun of anyone at school. But don't feel like an ass. That guy, he mae his own decisions. We have all faced ridicule and such, but most of us turn out right. So just don't feel too bad :)

Yea, but the entire lunch room and the janitor? That's just going too far.

Yea, but the entire lunch room and the janitor? That's just going too far.

I was always made fun of for being the poor jesus boy. Everyone made fun of me for me being open about my faith. They said, if he loves me, then why would i be poor. I had to face that everyday all the way through HS

Kids are cruel. I'm sure you'd do it differently now, but children follow each other. Don't blame yourself, it's futile.

lol, whats to feel bad about. you were kids. all kids do crap like this. it is a part of growing up.

some of these people like puck bring some stuff upon themself and they actually try to make you feel sorry for them. i have known other "pucks" before

anyone that holds a grudge they had in middle school all the way through high school has got some issues. people need to learn to let og of stuff that has happened in the past.

We had a Yugoslav, he was alright, joked around with him a bit but some people gave him the hell as grief.

'Smiley' on the other hand was a tool, and a bit of a poof, he deserved his treatment.

in junior high i was one of the picked-on kids, though in elementary i was sorta one of the bullies (i was witty and unabashed, so i would speak out about certian people).

though what you've told us is, to be honest, a very sad story (or two or three), it's even sadder that it happens all the time. the most we can do with these kinds of tales is acknowledge they happen, and do what we can to lessen their occurance in the future.

if/when i have kids, if i hear about them dissproportionately making fun of other children (lets face it, it's human nature to establish at least some sort of pecking order), i'm not going to scold them per say, but i'm damn as sure gonna try to make sure they understand that seemingly minor things (to them) can be hurtful to the fat kid or the dweeb in their class.

as far as how i could make them understand - in an ethical manner - is beyond me ATM... but it's a goal nonetheless.

p.s. don't beat yourself up too bad over it - that might just lead to one more life messed up over the sins of the past ;)

I was one of those sort of people who were always teased, mainly because I couldn't help but take it personally. Couldn't ignore it, telling on them (In elementry school) did nothing because the teachers didn't care. In Junior high it just got worse, even teachers got in on it to make themselves look "Cool" with the others.
Late Junior high I had a nervous Breakdown. So I switched to a different School so I got away from those idiots. Of course I still have a lingering hatred of them.

I was collectively shunned in school. I'm pretty sure I brought it on myself though, I've always felt awkward talking to anyone, and it seemed like everyone was laughing at me, so I avoided it more than anything. I'd say as little as I could to keep conversation to a minimum. I'm much better adjusted now, but still quiet. I don't drink, only "do" one "drug", and I am not a bassist for a emo punk band.

I don't hold grudges against anyone that was an ass. Its not like they are the same person they were, and its not like it should matter after so many years. I caused some of it anyway.

in junior high/high school i was one of the picked-on kids, though in elementary i was sorta one of the bullies (i was witty and unabashed, so i would speak out about certian people).

though what you've told us is, to be honest, a very sad story (or two or three), it's even sadder that it happens all the time. the most we can do with these kinds of tales is acknowledge they happen, and do what we can to lessen their occurance in the future.

if/when i have kids, if i hear about them dissproportionately making fun of other children (lets face it, it's human nature to establish at least some sort of pecking order), i'm not going to scold them per say, but i'm damn as sure gonna try to make sure they understand that seemingly minor things (to them) can be hurtful to the fat kid or the dweeb in their class.

as far as how i could make them understand - in an ethical manner - is beyond me ATM... but it's a goal nonetheless.

p.s. don't beat yourself up too bad over it - that might just lead to one more life messed up over the sins of the past ;)

[btw, for those that were the one constantly picked on: now that i'm in college, i'm about the most confidant mother-f***** you could find, i have tons of aquantinces, lots of true friends, and a generally good opinion of self-worth. barely anything can phase me - in large part because i went through so much crap in junior high/high school. the message i want to give our kind is that if you make it through mere years of suffering, you'll be set for a lifetime of conquering :) ]

I don't get your poor buddy Puck. I was picked on, and I turned out okay....um.

Wait. <.<

:p

I certainly know how Puck feels, I spent most of my rather uneventful childhood stuck in a crappy tourist town where everybody already knew each other. Once we got into High School some kids started to treat me like a human being, but before that they either picked on me or ignored me.
Even worse, the vice principal at my Junior High School was of the sort who tries to pander to the 'cool' kids. I have a bad knee because of an event that occured in that school, walking for a long period of time results in sharp, constant pain. The kid responsible was told to 'apologize' and suspended for a day. The only good thing that came out of it was that the kid who did it started to feel sorry for me, he started to take some flak from his friends for it though, so we agreed that it was best for him to just ignore me.
At the end of next year, I happened to be outside when another kid was getting beaten up. He was of the four foot tall sort who thinks he owns everybody, and likes to pick on anybody who will take it.
Somebody shouted '10,000 points to whoever tackles Kumar', and lo and behold, he was tackled. And then sat on. And then dragged across the field and sat on some more. He then ran inside and cried into a corner while kids surrounded him and laughed at him.
Before you start feeling sorry for him, remember this is the weak bully with enough intelligence to manipulate those weaker and stupider than himself, he exploited his 'friends' to get people into trouble, I myself was called into the office for an incident which occured a year ago, and I had myself apologized for. He enjoyed playing his 'friends' off against each other, and showering physical abuse on them himself. I would have felt sorry for them if I handnt been busy feeling sorry for myself.

Later, I find myself summoned to the VP's, and find out that I 'hit him with a 2x4', and that I was lucky the police werent on their way to arrest me. Later the kid dropped the accusation against me, but pressed charges on one of my friends. He lost the case. The VP didnt like it, but he could go screw himself because I moved onto High School that year. Lucky thing to.

Now that same VP is the principal at an elementary school. Im glad Im not a kid.

Theres always a few kids in school like them.

The bonus to getting older, is that you hopefully become a wiser person than you were then.

I did a few things in my youth that haunt me a little, and life, apparently, seems to be about how I better myself as a person, by using past failures as lessons.

It would have been nice if life would have warned me ahead of time, however, life can also be a prick.

Chances are this guy had more problems than just having been picked on as a child.
Everyone gets picked on by someone, at some point, and most of us turn out functional.

Harmonia Mortus Redux;11663156']I certainly know how Puck feels, I spent most of my rather uneventful childhood stuck in a crappy tourist town where everybody already knew each other. Once we got into High School some kids started to treat me like a human being, but before that they either picked on me or ignored me.
Even worse, the vice principal at my Junior High School was of the sort who tries to pander to the 'cool' kids. I have a bad knee because of an event that occured in that school, walking for a long period of time results in sharp, constant pain.

:eek: holy crap, the first part seems VERY oddly... familiar... and the second part happened tmy younger sister (only she was punched in the ribs).

Anyway, I too live in a crappy tourist town that has more cliques than you can shake a stick at (but shaking sticks isn't going to cut it, I want to beat them with it! :mad:) I was bullied by other girls all through fourth and fifth grade, ad prior to that shunned and picked on by kids in the neighborhood. After fifth grade I became sort of a recluse and bitter about my sister's social life and over-achieving, because she's been the favorite (not by my parents, but by the town) of us two, ever since June of 1999 (when we moved here).

We had just been there a few days and Mom and Dad told us to go meet the other kids. We were like, okay. Somewhere down the line my sister made tons of friends and I was still struggling. At one point most of the kids in the neighborhood were riding their bikes and jumping off this home-made ramp, including my then five-year-old sister. I went to jump off it and one girl stopped me and said I was too young, even though my younger sister was jumping off it and I was seven at the time! This girl gave me all sorts of grief that summer but was friends with my sister. And since then F@$# Ridge (no that's not the real name) has had more cliques than the rest of the town... and the neighborhood only has about 30 families.

After that in fourth grade I (finally) made a new friend, but all the other girls cornered me one day and told me not to hang out with her, that she was gay (even though we were only 9 at the time), and all sorts of stuff and I was like "whatever". In fifth grae I was the smartest girl in the class as well as one of the smartest five kids in class (we all became friends that year :) but Nick moved to New York last year :(), but the girls would not let me sit at their table even though I didn't want to sit with the icky boys table, and if I ignored them they bullied me. There was so much cliqueage going on that the teacher assigned table for us... and stuck me with the other smart kids (one boy that I had been good friends with since 3rd grade and the other three that I had never spoken to before). After that it was just stupid people making rude comments about my acne and looks and going ":eek: You're Laura's sister?!" :mad: Thank God I'm in high school now where nobody knows my sister...

And the teachers ALWAYS picked favorites at school too, that's why I didn't make the volleyball team :upyours: THAKE THAT, MS WEATHERLY! :upyours:

BTW, I can totally understand Puck and the one girl you mentioned. :mad:

Maybe it's because I just left middle school and the bullying has just now stopped, but you should have done something. If you feel like such an idiot now why don't you help with some anti-bullying program?

:mad: If people would just stop picking on others for problems such as acne or fashion sense or whatever, and tell the MS teachers to quit picking favorites, then maybe I wouldn't have privately renamed my middle school Hell Middle School! In fact, I think I will go to the school's website and say something, even though since I was never a teacher's pet it will be ignored! :headbang:

Having been bullied once (like hell), I sort of admire you for expressing regret.

That said, I don't think he'll forgive you if you apologize. The memory will always be that of the boy that got hit, teased, bullied even by school staff (a science teacher joined the morons in punching me once), and so on, as much as it pains me to say it. I don't think I'd forgive those guys that made 5 years of my life hell now. But, as a way to make personal peace with it, I suggest aiding anti-bullying places. There are sites about it on the internet, that can help you get started.

I'll assume you weren't half as bad as the idiots that gave me Hell. But, right now, regret it, redeem yourself by working against it, and move on, knowing personally that you prevented the same damage you believe you caused, if to other people.

That said, I don't think he'll forgive you if you apologize.

Wouldn't hurt to try.

I don't get your poor buddy Puck. I was picked on, and I turned out okay....um.

Wait. <.<

:pI was the classroom emotional punching bag for most of my school carreer before people were mature enough.

I've turned out ok though, most recently getting wasted at a toga party by the local fencing club :D

Wouldn't hurt to try.

Agreed, but I'm preparing him for the possible refusal here. And it might help, nonetheless, to make the boy feel someone regrets it.

In our school there were group bullyings too and although Im not a bully I had my fun too, actually as much as I was with the group I was alone randomly going against the group too some kind of balancing. Many times I charged into 4-6 guys of my age having fun in activity.
There were a few guys we bullied and some of them are my best friends even today and one of them got so pissed off he won one of best schools of country. Strangely enough the guy I tossed to garbage bin and I talked a lot on science philosophy etc. too and found a common ground, yet when he pissed me off I still tossed him like a toy. Our bullying I mean was physical like wolf pups play, not emotional and strenghtened each other through challenge. We were having fun all the time and the bullied guys started grouping on bullying those who bullied them. In non responsive guys we succeeded in geting feed back, of course not in all of them.