What would the Bible say?
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:09
As I goofed around on the "gay marriage" thread over my meal of microwaveable storganoff and a candy bar, I spotted an interesting topic: marriage between urinals and wondered what the Bible would have to say about it. Wlie pondering that topic I came up with a new question: what would it say about Pancakes like me? So, here is my "What would the Bible say?" thread, where I ponder:
1. According to many Christians, it is wrong for a man to consider himself female, and for a woman to consider herself male. Assuming they are right (I never did check what it had to say about it :(), and the Bible does say that it is wrong to identify with the other gender, what would it say about me, a teenaged female, considering myself a Pancake?
2. And of course, the whole "marriage between urinals" question- What would the Bible have to say about it?
More questions later.....:eek:
Neo Kervoskia
10-09-2006, 01:11
God would condemn same-brand urinal marriage. It's not right and proper.
United Chicken Kleptos
10-09-2006, 01:11
As I goofed around on the "gay marriage" thread over my meal of microwaveable storganoff and a candy bar, I spotted an interesting topic: marriage between urinals and wondered what the Bible would have to say about it. Wlie pondering that topic I came up with a new question: what would it say about Pancakes like me? So, here is my "What would the Bible say?" thread, where I ponder:
1. According to many Christians, it is wrong for a man to consider himself female, and for a woman to consider herself male. Assuming they are right (I never did check what it had to say about it :(), and the Bible does say that it is wrong to identify with the other gender, what would it say about me, a teenaged female, considering myself a Pancake?
2. And of course, the whole "marriage between urinals" question- What would the Bible have to say about it?
More questions later.....:eek:
Marriage is between a man and a toilet.
BackwoodsSquatches
10-09-2006, 01:11
As I goofed around on the "gay marriage" thread over my meal of microwaveable storganoff and a candy bar, I spotted an interesting topic: marriage between urinals and wondered what the Bible would have to say about it. Wlie pondering that topic I came up with a new question: what would it say about Pancakes like me? So, here is my "What would the Bible say?" thread, where I ponder:
1. According to many Christians, it is wrong for a man to consider himself female, and for a woman to consider herself male. Assuming they are right (I never did check what it had to say about it :(), and the Bible does say that it is wrong to identify with the other gender, what would it say about me, a teenaged female, considering myself a Pancake?
2. And of course, the whole "marriage between urinals" question- What would the Bible have to say about it?
More questions later.....:eek:
1. It would probably say its ok to be a pancake, as long as you dont do anything pancake-like.
2. probably something vague, cryptic, and easily misinterpereted.
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:16
Marriage is between a man and a toilet.
What about woman?
Cabra West
10-09-2006, 01:17
2. probably something vague, cryptic, and easily misinterpereted.
Most likely something like "If a man lieth with his urinal as he would with his donkey, he shalled be stoned with Harpic Two-in-ones and his wife be sold off to Marcel Duchamp..."
Liberated New Ireland
10-09-2006, 01:17
*Is almost too tired to find this funny*
>.>
<.<
*Pulls out trebuchet*
Cabra West
10-09-2006, 01:18
What about woman?
We get he cabins :D
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:20
*Is almost too tired to find this funny*
>.>
<.<
*Pulls out trebuchet*
*runs for cover* *steals anything flammable from LNI*
Good Lifes
10-09-2006, 01:20
Could you put "pancake" and "marriage between urinals" in old English for us old people?
Liberated New Ireland
10-09-2006, 01:21
Could you put "pancake" and "marriage between urinals" in old English for us old people?
"ye pancake"
"ye marriage betwixt urinals"
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:23
Could you put "pancake" and "marriage between urinals" in old English for us old people?
I don't know much Old English, but I believe the proper terms would be "flapjack" and "wedlock between toilets." But I'm not 100% sure.
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:24
Question #3: What would the Vatican do with those certain parts of the Bible?
BackwoodsSquatches
10-09-2006, 01:26
Most likely something like "If a man lieth with his urinal as he would with his donkey, he shalled be stoned with Harpic Two-in-ones and his wife be sold off to Marcel Duchamp..."
Probably something exactly like that.
BackwoodsSquatches
10-09-2006, 01:27
Question #3: What would the Vatican do with those certain parts of the Bible?
Lie about them, and wear silly hats.
With what some people eat, I guess they could be considered married to their toilet.
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:46
With what some people eat, I guess they could be considered married to their toilet.
You phail. :mad: :p
Question #4 (which was also discussed in the "gay marriage" thread): If someone wanted to marry a urinal, then the owner of said urinal would have to sign the forms... right? Well what if the owner of the urinal wanted the urinal to join the military?
Liberated New Ireland
10-09-2006, 01:49
With what some people eat, I guess they could be considered married to their toilet.
...It's almost impossible to crap in a urinal...
Darknovae
10-09-2006, 01:52
Still no answer to #4... :(
Nuovo Tenochtitlan
10-09-2006, 02:20
Wth? I come back from my dinner of microwaveable wienerschnitzel, and find a whole thread dedicated to my girlfriend in the train station's restroom!
When I was in the military, there were no urinals, only toilet seats. Unless you're talking about a large group-urinal where a bunch of soldiers can stand in a row and...
United Chicken Kleptos
10-09-2006, 02:31
You phail. :mad: :p
Question #4 (which was also discussed in the "gay marriage" thread): If someone wanted to marry a urinal, then the owner of said urinal would have to sign the forms... right? Well what if the owner of the urinal wanted the urinal to join the military?
Can they enlist these days?
Just put the urinal on the ground between the two and see who it runs to.
Anti-Social Darwinism
10-09-2006, 02:32
What about woman?
Vacuum cleaners, but it has to be monogamous.
United Chicken Kleptos
10-09-2006, 02:39
Vacuum cleaners, but it has to be monogamous.
That's not a good idea, really. I mean, what if the setting changes from suck to blow? Won't she explode?
Anti-Social Darwinism
10-09-2006, 02:42
That's not a good idea, really. I mean, what if the setting changes from suck to blow? Won't she explode?
You do need to practice safe vacuuming
United Chicken Kleptos
10-09-2006, 02:46
You do need to practice safe vacuuming
Well, the term "blowjob" confused me.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-09-2006, 02:47
When I was in the military, there were no urinals, only toilet seats. Unless you're talking about a large group-urinal where a bunch of soldiers can stand in a row and...
...whack each other off? No, but thanks for playing: "Fiddlebottoms Thinks About Gay Sex!"
Try again next week when our prize will be a huge pile of Fried Apple Sticks. Fried Apple Sticks, because everything in your diet should be battered and deep fried!
Big Jim P
10-09-2006, 06:27
Marriage is between a man and a toilet.
Only after a helluva night drinking.
...It's almost impossible to crap in a urinal...
I don't want to know how you found this out.
Bobslovakia 2
10-09-2006, 06:46
You phail. :mad: :p
Question #4 (which was also discussed in the "gay marriage" thread): If someone wanted to marry a urinal, then the owner of said urinal would have to sign the forms... right? Well what if the owner of the urinal wanted the urinal to join the military?
Then the urinal would be trotted off to the military. A urinal is a piece of property and just like in the olden days (pre-Civil War) property (African-Americans) could be trotted off to fight in the place of their owners. Sadly urinals have not yet been freed. :( Anyone up for a war to free the urinals?:gundge: :sniper: :mp5:
Maineiacs
10-09-2006, 06:53
As I goofed around on the "gay marriage" thread over my meal of microwaveable storganoff and a candy bar, I spotted an interesting topic: marriage between urinals and wondered what the Bible would have to say about it. Wlie pondering that topic I came up with a new question: what would it say about Pancakes like me? So, here is my "What would the Bible say?" thread, where I ponder:
1. According to many Christians, it is wrong for a man to consider himself female, and for a woman to consider herself male. Assuming they are right (I never did check what it had to say about it :(), and the Bible does say that it is wrong to identify with the other gender, what would it say about me, a teenaged female, considering myself a Pancake?
2. And of course, the whole "marriage between urinals" question- What would the Bible have to say about it?
More questions later.....:eek:
You're a very odd little girl, aren't you?:D
Checklandia
11-09-2006, 06:57
I don't know much Old English, but I believe the proper terms would be "flapjack" and "wedlock between toilets." But I'm not 100% sure.
A pancake is a pancake (as eaten on shrove tuesday)flapjack is usually with oats.
and god doesnt mind people marrying horses or urinals,as long as two men dont marry and women dont have sexual fulfillment.:p