NationStates Jolt Archive

Crisis over times tables report

The Bush administration is preparing to make sweeping changes to the national mathematics curriculum after a poll revealed that over 80% of the country think that seven eights are 58.

A Whitehouse spokesman responded to the poll's findings. "If the majority of our country strongly believe that seven eights are 58, then we must ensure that their views are represented in our schools. It's not enough to teach from the top down. We must listen to what the public wants and deliver appropriately."

President Bush, at a later press conference, was even more emphatic. "The jury is out on 7x8."
"There's no proof that there is an eight times table", He said, in response to a question from the floor, "If an eight times table ever existed, surely they'd have dug one up by now."

"We need to ensure that equal time is given to all points of view.", Vice-president Cheney added, before doing that creepy thing he does with his mouth.

The new proposed syllabus will have the majority of class time teaching that seven eights are 58, while the remaining lesson time will reflect the scientific establishment's consensus of 56.
Time will also be set aside to cover minority views such as one million and 'apples'.

This has been hailed as a victory by the anti-maths lobby. "Science has yet to prove the existance of 7x8. It's just a theory that it equals 56. The eight times table came from somewhere, yet Science has yet to offer any valid proof as to how it arose.", a particularly disturbing looking spokesman said.
"All we ask for is that other, equally sound theories that 7x8 equals something other than 56 be presented in an equal and fair manner within the classroom."

Scientists, meanwhile, are in an uproar. Pro-mathematics groups are pressuring the government to maintain the status quo of the popular times table. A spokesman for the groups, sporting a beard and wearing a turtle-necked sweater, mumbled, "This is very disturbing, very disturbing. Clearly the Department of Education needs more funding to support the eight times table."

http://www.kalumriverlodge.com/fly-fishing/fly-fishing051.jpg

This is good, I'm glad we are allowing for all viewpoints in this discussion. They bring up a good point, where did times tables come from?

That's quite funny. Especially the last line. :D

[CENTER][B][SIZE="3"]The Bush administration is preparing to make sweeping changes to the national mathematics curriculum after a poll revealed that over 80% of the country think that seven eights are 58.


Everyone should know that seven eights aren't 58. Seven eights is 8,888,888. *nods*

This is good, I'm glad we are allowing for all viewpoints in this discussion. They bring up a good point, where did times tables come from?

Because it actually does equal 56.

It follows this pattern:
1x7=7
2x7=14
3x7=21
4x7=28
5x7=35
6x7=42
7x7=49
8x7=56

You will notice the pattern that arises - every time the number that is being multiplied by 7 increases by one, the answer is increased by 7, the second number that is being multiplied.
Surely everyone can see the logic of this?

Because it actually does equal 56.

It follows this pattern:
1x7=7
2x7=14
3x7=21
4x7=28
5x7=35
6x7=42
7x7=49
8x7=56

You will notice the pattern that arises - every time the number that is being multiplied by 7 increases by one, the answer is increased by 7, the second number thatis being multiplied.
Surely everyone can see the logic of this?



I'm sick of this sort of leftist propaganda. Why do you feel you have to boss people around?

Hmm, that's strange. I'm sure I made no commands whatsoever in that text?

It's simple elitism. Why force people to believe that 7x8 = 56 simply because the East Coast liberal elite say it is? Well guess what - most Americans believe that 7x8 is 58, so you're in a minority, and you're trying to suppress their beliefs. Your arrogance is appalling.

Because it actually does equal 56.

It follows this pattern:
1x7=7
2x7=14
3x7=21
4x7=28
5x7=35
6x7=42
7x7=49
8x7=56

You will notice the pattern that arises - every time the number that is being multiplied by 7 increases by one, the answer is increased by 7, the second number that is being multiplied.
Surely everyone can see the logic of this?
That's the seven times table. The eight times table has yet to be proved scientifically. At present it's just a theory.

if multiplication evolved from addition, why are there still plus signs?

Crisis over times tables report

The Bush administration is preparing to make sweeping changes to the national mathematics curriculum after a poll revealed that over 80% of the country think that seven eights are 58.

A Whitehouse spokesman responded to the poll's findings. "If the majority of our country strongly believe that seven eights are 58, then we must ensure that their views are represented in our schools. It's not enough to teach from the top down. We must listen to what the public wants and deliver appropriately."

President Bush, at a later press conference, was even more emphatic. "The jury is out on 7x8."
"There's no proof that there is an eight times table", He said, in response to a question from the floor, "If an eight times table ever existed, surely they'd have dug one up by now."

"We need to ensure that equal time is given to all points of view.", Vice-president Cheney added, before doing that creepy thing he does with his mouth.

The new proposed syllabus will have the majority of class time teaching that seven eights are 58, while the remaining lesson time will reflect the scientific establishment's consensus of 56.
Time will also be set aside to cover minority views such as one million and 'apples'.

This has been hailed as a victory by the anti-maths lobby. "Science has yet to prove the existance of 7x8. It's just a theory that it equals 56. The eight times table came from somewhere, yet Science has yet to offer any valid proof as to how it arose.", a particularly disturbing looking spokesman said.
"All we ask for is that other, equally sound theories that 7x8 equals something other than 56 be presented in an equal and fair manner within the classroom."

Scientists, meanwhile, are in an uproar. Pro-mathematics groups are pressuring the government to maintain the status quo of the popular times table. A spokesman for the groups, sporting a beard and wearing a turtle-necked sweater, mumbled, "This is very disturbing, very disturbing. Clearly the Department of Education needs more funding to support the eight times table."

Hmm, plagiarism raises its ugly mug again

Thursday, August 25, 2005
7x8 Crisis Deepens

I don't know if it's significant that the only publication I now buy regularly is Viz comic, but their spoof news articles often raise a smile:
The Government is preparing to make sweeping changes to the national mathematics curriculum after a poll revealed that 75% of the country think that seven eights are 62...

"It's not enough to teach from the top down, we need to listen to what the public wants from education and deliver appropriately."

In a draft syllabus presented to reporters on the back of a Palace of Westminster Speedo Pizza leaflet, [Ruth "face like Virgil out of Thunderbird 2"] Kelly showed how 75% of the school year could in future be spent teaching that seven eights are 62, while remaining lessons might reflect the scientific establishment's consensus of 56. A special two-week course unit would cover minority views such as nine and a million.

... in a statement issued last night, a spokesman restated the government's position, insisting that it was "committed to delivering best practice in improving accessibility standards for customers of the eight times table" or something.

http://www.bloggers4labour.org/2005/08/7x8-crisis-deepens.jsp

New math and my age.
To find your current age, take the current year (06) and subtract the year you were borne (43) the answer is your age:

06
43
----
-37

Can't have a negative age so change the sign + and I'm 37 years old. And the very good news is I'll be 36 next year. Yea for the newer math. :D

if multiplication evolved from addition, why are there still plus signs?
:)

This is indeed an astounding victory. After all, what are the times tables? They are simply axioms derived from the more basic axiom of addition by one. That doesn't even take into account the base 10 postulate. Why does 1 + 1 equal 2? I have not yet found a reasonable answer to my query. Thus, I cannot state with certainty that (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) * (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) = (1 + 1 + 1+...+1 + 1 + 1). We should not take such assumptions for granted -- recall the old idiom: he who ass-u-mes makes an ass of you and me. We should, as a nation, take that to heart and demolish the current mathematical theory, which stems from several fundamental axioms which are supported by not a single shred of proof.

Exactly. And I read in some book that 7x8 = 58. So it must be true.

"The jury is out on 7x8."
"There's no proof that there is an eight times table",

It exists, unless my Mom lied to me again, but it exists so does the 12 times table, not that I remember either of them, maybe they were just another memory plaint . . . I’m scared.

Begoner21;11659744']This is indeed an astounding victory. After all, what are the times tables? They are simply axioms derived from the more basic axiom of addition by one. That doesn't even take into account the base 10 postulate. Why does 1 + 1 equal 2? I have not yet found a reasonable answer to my query. Thus, I cannot state with certainty that (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) * (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) = (1 + 1 + 1+...+1 + 1 + 1). We should not take such assumptions for granted -- recall the old idiom: he who ass-u-mes makes an ass of you and me. We should, as a nation, take that to heart and demolish the current mathematical theory, which stems from several fundamental axioms which are supported by not a single shred of proof.

Agreed. Numbers schmumbers, how do they feed me or help me fight political wrongs? Give the maths to the people man,come the revolution mathematicians will be first against the wall. Power to the people!
*raises fist into the air as a symbol of solidarity against the wrongs done to us*

Agreed. Numbers schmumbers, how do they feed me or help me fight political wrongs? Give the maths to the people man,come the revolution mathematicians will be first against the wall. Power to the people!
*raises fist into the air as a symbol of solidarity against the wrongs done to us*

$ 7.50 per hour X 40 hours = $ 175.00. Here is your pay check. Oh, *grabs check back* - tax - SS - medicare - state tax. Here is the IOU you need to sign for working here last week. "IOU $ 500.00 for working here last week." :eek:

Who needs math when you have government. :D

Yeah, but you gotta remember that President Bush is one of those who fucked up on that math equasion, which is why he's calling for reform on it!

if 7x8=58 has the support of 80% of the american people then congress should pass a bill making it the law of the land.

in a democracy the people are always the highest authority.

if 7x8=58 has the support of 80% of the american people then congress should pass a bill making it the law of the land.

in a democracy the people are always the highest authority.

but only on questions of factuality - in policy decisions we can't be dragged around by an ignorant and fickle mob

Yeah, but you gotta remember that President Bush is one of those who fucked up on that math equasion, which is why he's calling for reform on it!

equation

but only on questions of factuality - in policy decisions we can't be dragged around by an ignorant and fickle mob

i submit that it is naught but the powerful CALCULATOR lobby paying off the republican congressmen that keeps this popular law from being passed!

i submit that it is naught but the powerful CALCULATOR lobby paying off the republican congressmen that keeps this popular law from being passed!

indeed. for years i have been trying to tell people about the evils of big calculator. its nice to see that it is finally paying off.

Use nukes to burn the correct equasion into the continent. We could then take a photograph from space.

if multiplication evolved from addition, why are there still plus signs?

God put them there to test the Faith of mathematicians, of course.

indeed. for years i have been trying to tell people about the evils of big calculator. its nice to see that it is finally paying off.

and you fell for it. why would the Calculator Lobby want such an error that would discredit them. no this is a plot by the United Secret Society of Slide Rulers... the U.S.S.S.R

Because it actually does equal 56.

It follows this pattern:
1x7=7
2x7=14
3x7=21
4x7=28
5x7=35
6x7=42
7x7=49
8x7=56

You will notice the pattern that arises - every time the number that is being multiplied by 7 increases by one, the answer is increased by 7, the second number that is being multiplied.
Surely everyone can see the logic of this?

Would be easier to go by:
1x8=8
2x8=16
3x8=24
4x8=32
5x8=40
6x8=48
7x8=56

Much easier to remember then multiplying by 7. 8's are cooler anyway. :cool:

Because it actually does equal 56.

It follows this pattern:
1x7=7
2x7=14
3x7=21
4x7=28
5x7=35
6x7=42
7x7=49
8x7=56

You will notice the pattern that arises - every time the number that is being multiplied by 7 increases by one, the answer is increased by 7, the second number that is being multiplied.
Surely everyone can see the logic of this?


But what's the punch line?

But what's the punch line?

a line of thirsty people waiting to get some juice.

and you fell for it. why would the Calculator Lobby want such an error that would discredit them. no this is a plot by the United Secret Society of Slide Rulers... the U.S.S.S.R

sorry, i don't go in for wacky conspiracy theories. just the facts, as decided by a vote of the people, for me.

Would be easier to go by:
1x8=8
2x8=16
3x8=24
4x8=32
5x8=40
6x8=48
7x8=56

Much easier to remember then multiplying by 7. 8's are cooler anyway. :cool:

D00d, we already established that the 8's table is only a myth. If we can dig up some stuff that refers to 8's tables, then we can allow that, but how do we know that this is really valid? And don't give me this "mathematics" mumbo jumbo. We all know that causes more problems than it solves.

D00d, we already established that the 8's table is only a myth. If we can dig up some stuff that refers to 8's tables, then we can allow that, but how do we know that this is really valid? And don't give me this "mathematics" mumbo jumbo. We all know that causes more problems than it solves.

Conspiracies! :eek:

if multiplication evolved from addition, why are there still plus signs?

ChaChing! We have a winner!:D

Who has heard the stat where a massive percentage of Mississippi is illiterate?

if multiplication evolved from addition, why are there still plus signs?

You owe me half a glass of lemonade, and cleaning for my monitor and keyboard. :D

The US is a democracy, correct.

If 80% say it should be 58, then 58 it is!

:)

ChaChing! We have a winner!:D

You owe me half a glass of lemonade, and cleaning for my monitor and keyboard. :D

score!

if multiplication evolved from addition, why are there still plus signs?

How do you multiply 5+32+18+25?

equation

I'm having an off day....don't mind me....:headbang: