NationStates Jolt Archive


Spongebob Squarepants Forcibly Converted To Islam

Ginnoria
08-09-2006, 20:47
Spongebob Squarepants Forcibly Converted To Islam

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA - Spongebob Squarepants, the immensely popular children's cartoon character seen on Nikelodeon, was converted to the Islamic religion at gunpoint in an unplanned segment of the show yesterday.

The scene was broadcasted live on national television, where Mr. Squarepants was shown bound to a chair, with masked men surrounding him with firearms, serrated knives, and hair dryers. The television icon was then forced by his captors to utter a pledge to Allah, and profess his loyalty to the terrorists' cause.

"There is no god but Allah," Wept Squarepants, wincing as a blast of hot air hit his bruised face. "Mohammed is his prophet." His captors, who had appeared to have tortured Squarepants beforehand by denying him water, were unidentified, but are believed to be members of the radical Al-Falfa terrorist network. How the men gained entry to the Niceklodeon broadcasting studio in Burbank is still unknown. Once inside, they stormed to set, abducted Squarepants and proceeded to shoot the nearby camera men to death. While Squarepants remains a hostage, local police have surrounded the building and have secured every exit.

White House official Anthony Galvin spoke briefly about the situation, calling it a "typical operation" for Al-Falfa and their ilk. "Their objectives have always been to frighten and intimidate Western nations," Galvin said to reporters. "Now, they extend to battle to touch our impressionable children, in a sick attempt to twist their minds to their perverted version of Islam. Rest assured, they will be brought to justice."
Teh_pantless_hero
08-09-2006, 20:49
You mean they didn't shoot him? God damnit. Get the Russian mafia on the phone now.
Andaluciae
08-09-2006, 20:50
It wasn't funny until I hit the Al-falfa part. Then I cracked up.
Cabra West
08-09-2006, 20:50
When will they broadcast that? :D
Nodinia
08-09-2006, 20:52
Spongebob Squarepants Forcibly Converted To Islam

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA - Spongebob Squarepants, the immensely popular children's cartoon character seen on Nikelodeon, was converted to the Islamic religion at gunpoint in an unplanned segment of the show yesterday.

The scene was broadcasted live on national television, where Mr. Squarepants was shown bound to a chair, with masked men surrounding him with firearms, serrated knives, and hair dryers. The television icon was then forced by his captors to utter a pledge to Allah, and profess his loyalty to the terrorists' cause.

"There is no god but Allah," Wept Squarepants, wincing as a blast of hot air hit his bruised face. "Mohammed is his prophet." His captors, who had appeared to have tortured Squarepants beforehand by denying him water, were unidentified, but are believed to be members of the radical Al-Falfa terrorist network. How the men gained entry to the Niceklodeon broadcasting studio in Burbank is still unknown. Once inside, they stormed to set, abducted Squarepants and proceeded to shoot the nearby camera men to death. While Squarepants remains a hostage, local police have surrounded the building and have secured every exit.

White House official Anthony Galvin spoke briefly about the situation, calling it a "typical operation" for Al-Falfa and their ilk. "Their objectives have always been to frighten and intimidate Western nations," Galvin said to reporters. "Now, they extend to battle to touch our impressionable children, in a sick attempt to twist their minds to their perverted version of Islam. Rest assured, they will be brought to justice."

Thats what they want you to think. Closer examination shows a clearly Star-of-David shaped accomplice by Sponge-bobs side throughout the whole segment.





(I have a special hat I can tell you how to make that 'helps' - don't worry, they can't read between brackets)
Utracia
08-09-2006, 20:52
I never thought I'd hear a case where I would cheer the terrorists on. But it has happened.
Londim
08-09-2006, 20:55
Poor Spongebob! My condolenses to his family and Gary.
Heikoku
08-09-2006, 21:02
THAT'S what I get for hiring islamic terrorists to kill someone! I asked them to KILL Bob, they CONVERT him! That shows me! If you ever want to get something done, do it yourself or get Yakuza to do it!

Damn incompetents. -_-




:p
Andaluciae
08-09-2006, 21:05
THAT'S what I get for hiring islamic terrorists to kill someone! I asked them to KILL Bob, they CONVERT him! That shows me! If you ever want to get something done, do it yourself or get Yakuza to do it!

Damn incompetents. -_-




:p

Be careful with the Yakuza, they might try to turn him into a legitimate business venture.

And the Italians have become too incompetent, don't bother with them.

Russians are your best bet.
This Nation No Longer
08-09-2006, 21:07
Squidward gave them the keycode for the door.
Yootopia
08-09-2006, 21:14
Russians are your best bet.
They're a bit busy running Chelsea to do much else at the moment, though, I hear.
Pyotr
08-09-2006, 21:16
They're a bit busy running Chelsea to do much else at the moment, though, I hear.

An islamic spongebob thread turned into a discussion about international organized crime by the first page....best. threadjack. evar.
Gauthier
08-09-2006, 21:16
The terrorists committed a fatal mistake.

The second The Krusty Krab opens for business and Eugene realizes his prized short order cook has been taken hostage, Krabbs is gonna pick up that big honking broadsword and waddle over to the studios.

And then the carnage will begin.
Ginnoria
08-09-2006, 21:42
An islamic spongebob thread turned into a discussion about international organized crime by the first page....best. threadjack. evar.

Bumping it back on topic ...
Heikoku
08-09-2006, 22:26
Mmm. What about the Brazilian organized crime? I'm Brazilian, they're tough...
Heikoku
08-09-2006, 22:28
An islamic spongebob thread turned into a discussion about international organized crime by the first page....best. threadjack. evar.

True that. By the way, shall we talk about my uncle's goiter surgery or Worms World Party now?