NationStates Jolt Archive

The "Most painful injury" thread has got me thinking: What ways have you injured yourself through stupidity?
I've accidentaly given my eyeball a good spraying of deodorant, and another time slid a knife across my thumb saying "Look! This knife isn't sharp...", only to have a load of blood coming down my hand a second later.
(Sorry if there's been a thread like this before, the search tool doesn't seem to be working and I can't remember any others)

The "Most painful injury" thread has got me thinking: What ways have you injured yourself through stupidity?
I've accidentaly given my eyeball a good spraying of deodorant, and another time slid a knife across my thumb saying "Look! This knife isn't sharp...", only to have a load of blood coming down my hand a second later.
(Sorry if there's been a thread like this before, the search tool doesn't seem to be working and I can't remember any others)

My buddy Don cut his thumb the same way when we were knife-weilding kids off to start shit with a couple of other kids. The fact that he gashed his thumb open and we had to go back to my house to get medical treatment probably saved us from being prosecuted for attempted murder or something.

As for my stupid injury, I was older, drunk, and hanging out with Don again and I decided to punch out a plate glass window. Then went and drunkenly got me some stitches.

I used to play in the bell choir at my church before I came to college. In one practice, I tolled the bell and at the same time I bent forward to read the music. I had a headache for a couple days and a big bruise.

i jumped out of a lorry when i was about 5 or 6 yelling "mummy, catch me!" before slamming into the tarmac chin-first. that was pretty dumb... (stiches and all)

i also ran into a glass shelf and nearly took my eye out at about the same age - the scar is hidden nicely underneath my eyebrow (forget which one)


other than those i've been pretty good in recent years bar two sailing accidents: one where i managed to wang my eye into the end of the wooden handle of the tiller (big black eye and plenty of pain), and the other would be capcising right by a sewage pumping pipe and catching a nasty illness i can't even begin to spell, but which had me in bed and throwing up for near on 3 months. not qutie standard 'injury' but it sure was my fault :P

Back in my youth, I bought a 150-pound pull crossbow. Instead of a stirrup at the front for your foot, it had a T-handle you stood on made of metal.

I was cocking it, standing on the T, when the T slipped out from under my feet just as I was nearly at full extension.

The butt of the crossbow came up fast and hit me under the left eye.

Heh shit I used to e abutcher years ago, and one of me first jobs was to chop in 1/4 200lb of pig trotters(thats around the 90KG mark for those that can't or won't convert) and one day I just plain forgot to move me hand, and so got a chopper stuck in me thumb. I'm glad it was the small one.

Still got the scare from the student nurse, she fucked it right up, eheh but she was cute, wot with that tight uniform and all.... hehe sorry I forget how public this place is sometimes!

I was stabbing holes in a metal Altoids box (It relieves some of the homicidal rage) with a knife when I accidentally missed and stabbed myself on the hand, missed the vein, but when I yanked it out and laid my hand out to scream, I laid my hand on the Altoids box, with the metal sticking outwards.

Or...

I tricked someone into thinking that I was drowning at a public pool ( :cool: ) and they went to save me, but they were dragging me all over the cement at the bottom. It hurt like a bitch.

Trimming my pubic hair.

Trimming my pubic hair.

what, with an Epilady?

I ran into a little girl once by accident, swirved to miss her and tripped. I promptly handed head-first into a concrete slab. My teeth became stuck in the concrete and were bent back. I had to go to hospital to have my two front teeth removed because they have been so badly damaged. ..

I also dropped a giant slab of rock on my foot and broke my toes once when I was attempting to get a balloon and some garden furniture from behind a tower of rocks..

what, with an Epilady?

I have no idea what that is.

I have no idea what that is.

It's an electrical gadget that removes body hair by yanking it out.

I have no idea what that is.

I remember the infomercial. It was a sort of electric device that used rotating metal springs to grip and tear out hair.

It's an electrical gadget that removes body hair by yanking it out.

Then no. I use a manly hair trimmer to trim. Unfortunately, the blades hadn't been oiled for a while, and caught my ballsack. It wasn't fun. For such thin veins, they bleed a lot.

I remember the infomercial. It was a sort of electric device that used rotating metal springs to grip and tear out hair.

O_o why would someone buy that? beside to use as a torture device

O_o why would someone buy that? beside to use as a torture device

Maybe they're really into ingrown hairs.

Hmm

Skateboarded off my roof, but my board stopped at the gutter, and I landed kinda flattish, but more heavily towards my face. I was being videotaped for this stunt. Multiple injuries, broken ribs, etc.

Sliced the end of my finger off demonstrating Cutco knives to a customer. Definitely did not make a sale.

Dropped a 100 lb. howitzer round on my foot during basic training/AIT, broke my foot, and then was so brilliant I decided not to tell anyone because I was afraid they might hold me in AIT longer, or make me repeat part if I was injured badly enough to miss training. Hint: Road marches on a broken foot are SOOOOOO not worth it.

I got mashed between a luggage cart and the tug a the airport. My one thigh had a bone deep bruise for months. I still cant fathom why neither leg broke.

Pulling a large nail with a J-Bar- the rusted head broke off and I pulled the prying end of the bar into my cheekbone-really hard.

As a kid, I was running and stepped into and open floor heater. Needed a tetanus shot and the rust had to be cleaned out of the wound

As a teenager, in anger, I punched a doubled up two by ten beam, broke my hand in more than one place, but kept it to myself because it was so stupid.

Well I accidently cut my hand when I was making jello shots..

Well when I was eight or ten me an some friends had gone camping in the woods. We were climbing trees and generaly screwing around. I had gotten a rope and tied it a stick and managed to hook it onto a branch in a nearby tree, however I couldn't climb that tree from the tree I was in so I would have to climb down first. The problem was I also needed to hold on to the rope, so my solution was to put the rope in my mouth and start climbing down the tree. While I was doing that one of my friends had thrown a sharpened stick at one of my friends on the ground, they mistakenly thought I threw the stick and so they poked me with it. This startled me causing me to lose my grip and fall out of the tree. Well at least start to fall untill the rope in my mouth became taught at that point I started to swing. And thus I wound up swinging halfway down the hill we were on through a bunch of thorn bushes by a rope in my mouth. Than there were the three or four home made ziplines I have fallen off of, the four wheeler I crashed into a barbwire fence going fifty, and the time a sliced my nose open on a punching bag, you know it always suprises me to think how lucky I am to have never broken any bones.

Too many come to mind, but, the best one for me is this:

I was biking home with a friend of mine and we were being total jackasses and trying to show off our so-called "skills" on a bike to each other.

He took his hands off the handle bars. I took my feet off the pedals. He then did my little stunt and I opted to up him one and too my feet off the pedals and my hands off the handle bars. Needless to say, my stunt had my bike wobbling for a couple of seconds before I crashed into him.

He fell onto the grass, our bikes locked, almost falling on him.

I skid across the side walk...

I didn't feel any pain... nor see the blood until I got home.

He only suffered from grass stains.

To this day, on my right shin, on the outer part, I have 3 scars, all kind of circular.

Crashed a 50cc scooter into a wall while wearing only shorts and a t-shirt. No shoes, helmet, nothing useful.

That was a bit painful. Didn't break anything though, I never do.

Rolled a go-kart, which destroyed the front axle. Again, wasn't wearing a helmet, just a pair of jeans and a top (but was wearing shoes this time...). That was painful. Hit the front axle back into some kind of shape with a hammer, and set off again. Turning into a corner, both front wheels literally fell off. I had quite a big crash. Fun fun. Hurt a bit, but nothing beyond a few bruises so it's all good.

Fell through a trap door which I knew was open (and was actually looking for...it was dark, see). Took a lump down to the bone out of my shin. Ouch.

Most stupid way was probably when I ran headfirst into a wall on a bike. That hurt.

I few years ago I dropped a popsicle under a car seat, reached under for it and accidentally hit the thing that makes the seat slide back. The back part of my hand got caught in it.

Also, when I was like, 7 or 8, I let my hand follow an escalator's handrail, and it pulled it in. They had to stop it to get my hand out. I was fine, it just ripped skin off my finger, but it was scary.

I few years ago I dropped a popsicle under a car seat, reached under for it and accidentally hit the thing that makes the seat slide back. The back part of my hand got caught in it.

Also, when I was like, 7 or 8, I let my hand follow an escalator's handrail, and it pulled it in. They had to stop it to get my hand out. I was fine, it just ripped skin off my finger, but it was scary.

I would have thought that you'd have a story about injuring yourself while throwing barrels at a little Italian plumber.

I would have thought that you'd have a story about injuring yourself while throwing barrels at a little Italian plumber.

I have gotten a number of splinters from that... nothing serious though. :D

I've also managed to drop headfirst into a concrete floor. Even though pretty much all my accidents have involved my head, I don't think they have caused any problems. Even though pretty much all my accidents have involved my head, I don't think they have caused any problems.

I remember being on a night drop on a beautiful summer evening with a full moon, and mistaking an asphalt two-lane road (with no lane markings) for a creek.

Right before I hit, I realized it wasn't water.

Hmm...I rode my tricycle in front of a loaded wagon and got run over.

I remember being on a night drop on a beautiful summer evening with a full moon, and mistaking an asphalt two-lane road (with no lane markings) for a creek.

Right before I hit, I realized it wasn't water.

Ouch?

You just gotta' believe it's water. Just believe, man. Believe...

Where's LG?

Ouch?

You just gotta' believe it's water. Just believe, man. Believe...

It wasn't so bad until I made that fourth point of contact...

Well I stupid way i injured myself, is when I was playing baseball instead of turning away from the ball when it was thrown at me (60 mph +) age 15 I turned into the ball and got drilled right in the heart.

When I was little I accidentally pressed my bare ass to the glass front of a lit wood stove. Got a first degree burn on one cheek and a second degree burn on the other.

At three years of age I set of running down the hall in our house to the Kitchen (never a good move - running into a kitchen that is). However there was a step down into the kitchen and on this step was a non slip foot grip thing. I tripped on this, and flew gracefully, nose first into the back of a chair. I succeeded in breaking my nose, for the first time.
I then broke my nose again doing Judo - nothing unusual.
At 13 years of age I was being taught the high jump - starting with the straddle technique. This meant that I ended up on my back, more or less under the bar. Now the bar was triangular, so guess what. Yes, I clipped the bar, landed and promptly had my nose broken again by the bar landing - point first, on the exact point on the bridge of my nose that I had previously broken twice.

(I eventually broke it a fourth time, playing rugby - so it is now straight at least.)

I ounce fell while running through the woods as a young child. Fell sideways on a very sharp rock. Took a large chunk out of the left side of my ass. That was the worst until the ex wife took out the other side. ;)

I'm usually really good at cutting my fingers and hands. :rolleyes:

Either cleaning dishes (stupid Ikea-glasses!!! Not the first one who's accomplished that according to the nurse doing the stitches) or doing crafting/sculpting.

Really stupid was that one occasion on which I tried to reach a wine bottle on top of my kitchen closet, could really reach it, it fell down, and I caught it exploding in my hand from hitting the rim of the sink.

Glas and blood everywhere, and I wasn't wearing pants (boxers, yes!). Once I got to the hospital people asked me whether I got stabbed :p

I burned my hand when a recently heated test tube dropped and I reached to catch it...

Also, I opened my umbrella once and it poked me! (because the cap of one of the sharp points was off.

When I was little I accidentally pressed my bare ass to the glass front of a lit wood stove. Got a first degree burn on one cheek and a second degree burn on the other.
You put the other cheek to the glass after your first one was burnt? Yikes!

I've also managed to drop headfirst into a concrete floor. Even though pretty much all my accidents have involved my head, I don't think they have caused any problems. Even though pretty much all my accidents have involved my head, I don't think they have caused any problems.
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
:D

Ahah, now I remember how I got that scar on my leg.

When I was learning how to ride a bike at the wee age of 4, there were these group of high schoolers at the local HS just not willing to move, so I slammed on the brakes to try to avoid them, turns out my leg twisted in ways a persons' limbs are not supposed to twist.

That and the fact that the joint between my knee and leg fell on a sharp-ass rock. :p

When I was little I accidentally pressed my bare ass to the glass front of a lit wood stove. Got a first degree burn on one cheek and a second degree burn on the other.

How'd you get them different?

How'd you get them different?

Clearly he suffers from 'Different Ass Syndrome', or DAS. Just as some women have different sized breasts, some people have different sized butt cheeks *rubs chin like a person pretending to be a doctor*

Clearly he suffers from 'Different Ass Syndrome', or DAS. Just as some women have different sized breasts, some people have different sized butt cheeks *rubs chin like a person pretending to be a doctor*

She. :)

As humorous as your idea is, I imagine I just pressed harder with one side or something.

She. :)

Dammit. But I am still a doctor! At least to the people who believe I am...

I walked into a wall...nothing special, just walked into a brick-wall.

I also was walking on a log, that was over-hanging a pond, I lost my balance and fell in, when I got out my leg had a foot and a half long gash....never figured that one out...